All language subtitles for Royal.Pains.S08E05.1080p.WEB.h264-NiXON_track3_[eng]

.

- Previously
on "Royal Pains"...

- Hank, I want to apply
to medical school.

- Us guys can have
such fragile egos.

- About IVF?

- Just one more viable way
of making a baby.

- Why didn't you
say something?

- Because you're the one

who's going to have
to take all the drugs

and have the procedures.

- Your father blames himself

for all of your
relationship problems.

- What do you mean?
- He's afraid

you've become more like him
than he ever wanted you to be,

and he thinks that's why you
can't seem to settle down.

[upbeat music]

♪

- No,
thank you very much.

Absolutely, yeah.

No, I'll call again next week.
Yep. Bye.

Damn it!

Hello.
- Hi.

- Thank you
for joining me.

- Thanks for calling me.

Shall we?
- Yes.

Raj says he's too tired

to go walking with me
this morning.

I don't know.
I think he's up to something.

- Ha ha.
What would Raj be up to?

- Would you want
to spend your morning

with three crying toddlers?

- Uh...
- Exactly.

He's up to something.
- Right.

So that phone call...
is everything okay?

- Not really.

I'm still waitlisted
at Johns Hopkins.

You know what?

I just have to accept
that I'm going to

need to go to my second choice
medical school.

- Hey, hey, Stony Brook
is nothing to feel down about.

They have a great program.

You know a former teacher
of mine, my mentor, in fact?

He works there now.
- You're kidding. Who?

- Dr. Joseph Whitcomb.

He's a pioneer in the field
of emergency medicine.

The man is brilliant.
Inspiring.

- Well, I'm intrigued.

Why have you never
mentioned him before?

- I didn't want to add
any pressure to your decision,

but he could definitely
dispel some of your doubts.

So if it would be helpful,

I could arrange
for you two to meet.

- Yeah.

I'd love to meet
your mentor.

- Done and done.

- Hey.

Aw, didn't sleep again?

- No, but it worked out.

I spent the night researching
everything early Americana

for my meeting with
Ms. Jeffries later today.

- Oh, is she
the, uh, the hoarder?

- When clients are as wealthy
as Ms. Jeffries,

we call them "collectors."

- Sorry.

- But yes,
she has a lot of things,

and she's finally ready to sell.

And we want her selling
with Berger & Lawson.

[rapid beeping]

I just hope I have
enough energy to impress.

These ovarian stimulation meds
are wreaking serious havoc.

- Are you still nauseous?

- And tired and bloated.

It's like being pregnant
without actually being pregnant.

- Well, I know how hard
it's been, but, uh...

hey, at least when your
follicles hit 16 millimeters...

- 18 millimeters.
- Isn't that what I said?

- No, you said 16.
I need to get to 18.

That's when I can get
the trigger shot.

- Right.
The trigger shot, of course.

How could I have
forgotten the trigger shot?

It's all about
the trigger shot.

- Yeah.

- Well,
maybe today's the day.

- I'll know
after the ultrasound.

- We should call it T day.
- Hmm.

Just don't tell Thanksgiving.

- Ha ha ha. Yeah.

Exactly.
Don't, uh...

don't tell Thanks--

- ♪ Out came the sun and

♪ Dried up all the rain

♪ And the itsy-bitsy spider

♪ Was [mutters]
totally drained ♪

♪ From all the climbing

Went back down the drain?

Went off to sunny Spain?

What did the spider do?
I can't remember.

- I believe he crawled up
the spout again.

- Right.

That's exactly what he did.
Okay.

♪ The itsy bitsy spider

♪ Went up--

Are you sure
this is what Raj wants?

- Cut. Yes. Very sure.

Raj said he wanted
clips of Divya's friends

entertaining the baby,
as they have with Sashi,

because the new baby
will be growing up in Baltimore.

- Yeah, or Stony Brook.

[sighs]

I just--I hate thinking
about her leaving.

- I understand,
but I'm on a deadline.

Raj wanted this ready for
the surprise shower tomorrow.

- And why did Raj
ask you to do this?

- I was president
of the audio/visual club

in high school.
- Oh.

- Ready now?
- Yes. Absolutely.

Um...sorry
about all the interruptions.

Here we go.

♪ The itsy--

- Action.

- ♪ The its--
- Action.

- I'm sorry, do you say "action"
before I start, or--

- Mm-hmm.

In your own time.

- ♪ The itsy bitsy spider

♪ Went up the--
- Hank.

- Keller.
- I need a place to hide.

- Cut. Actually,
we're filming a segment here.

- That little pissant!
Think of how much work

I put in that photo shoot.
I was so ready.

Look at me.
Don't I look ready?

- You look agitated.
- Well, wouldn't you be?

- I have no idea
what we're talking about.

- The shoot, Hank.
I'm talking--I'm trying to--

- Deep breaths.
- I'm telling you.

I--all right,
I got to sit down.

- Yeah, please.
Have a seat.

Your stress level
is concerning me.

- I got out of there
pretty fast.

I had to pack a bag, right?

I had to make it
look believable.

How dare that kid!

- Hey, are you having
any chest pains?

- Yeah. I'm actually feeling
a little bit winded.

- You're also tachycardic
and sweaty.

- Hank,
we should work him up

for a possible
myocardial infarction.

- Mm-hmm.
- What the hell is that?

- A heart attack.

[upbeat music]

♪

.

- If that kiss-ass ingrate
gave me a heart attack--

- You were most likely
in supraventricular tachycardia,

but the carotid vagal maneuver

has got you
back in normal sinus rhythm.

- The EKG might give us a fuller
picture of what is wrong.

- It's probably
just a panic attack.

- I'm still not clear
on what got you so worked up.

You...you walked out of
a photo shoot?

- No.
Not just any photo shoot.

I was gonna
be in "Sports Illustrated."

- With other agents?

- Not just any agents.

Superstar agents with their
superstar athlete clients.

I set the whole thing up.
It's called "Naked Ambition."

But it's tasteful naked.
It's not porn.

- Oh, okay.
- So I get to the shoot,

and I find out I'm standing next
to Rick "The Prick" Peterson.

He's this junior agent
in the same agency as me.

Turns out he's stolen
one of my prospective clients.

Total douche move.

- How do you know
he stole your client?

- Well,
it's what I would have done.

It's what I did do.

But the guy was old.
He was off his game.

It wasn't like I took down
a lion in his prime.

- About that...

Looks like your heart
isn't quite in its prime.

- There are some nonspecific
ST-T changes.

Q waves. Left atrial and left
ventricular hypertrophy.

- Something unnatural

is causing the chambers
of your heart to dilate.

- I will schedule
an echocardiogram.

- Good.
Thank you.

- So I'm the wounded antelope
instead of the lion?

No, no, no. No. No.

That cannot happen.
- Listen to me.

- No, that--
- Listen to me.

If I'm going to help you,
I need to know what's wrong,

and the only way
that's going to happen

is if you get
a more thorough workup.

- I'm supposed to be
on my way to Miami

to care for my sick dad.

It's the only way I could put
the kibosh on the photo shoot.

- Your father died
when we were in college.

- I know--isn't it great

he can finally do
something nice for me?

- Okay.
- Look. I can't risk anybody

from my agency finding out
that I'm still in the Hamptons,

especially Peterson.

I got to figure out a way
to get that Gen Y triathlon butt

kicked off of my photo shoot.

- You'll have plenty of time
to do that in the cath lab.

Look, I'm sure you're scared.

- I'm not scared.
- Okay. Okay.

- I'm terrified.

- Hey, what--

Did I miss our appointment?

- I told you last night

I had to move it because of
that appraisal with the hoarder.

I mean "collector."

- Oh, I'm so sorry.
I forgot.

How'd it go?

- It's not T day.

My follicles
have stalled at 16,

but the doctor
said not to worry.

It doesn't mean that they won't
grow to 18 by tomorrow, so...

- So maybe T day
will be soon?

- Maybe.

- Look.

I really want to be
more helpful to you,

so I went online to see
if there's some way

to help with your
"side effects,"

and I found something
really interesting.

- Oh, that's good.
Okay.

When you said side effects
why did you use "air quotes"?

- Oh, did I do that?
- Yeah. It was so weird.

- I didn't even know.
I know--well, I did that

because it turns out a lot of
your symptoms are psychosomatic.

That means you can
stop having them.

- [laughs] Oh!

- Isn't that great?
- That's so good to know.

So I can just stop being tired.
- Yeah.

- And bloated.
- Yeah.

- And nauseous.
- Uh, yeah.

- And this runny nose
isn't real.

- No, no, no. I'm not saying
your side effects aren't real,

babe, at all.
They're real.

It's just your mind
that's creating them,

not your hormones.

So I can help you,

and together
we can stop them.

- Oh, we can stop them.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Can "we" stop the rash
on my injection site

and the river of sweat
that is dripping down my back,

or is this
just not real either?

- Shh. Paige, all I'm--
- Did you just shush me?

- [softly]
Look, I work here, so--

- Oh, my God.
You did just shush me.

- I--
- Well, guess what.

I don't need
to interrupt your work,

because I work too.

Or is that just in my head?

- [falsetto]
Radiation isn't a plaything,

but a half-life
is better than no life at all.

Hello...Divya's baby.

This is Madam Curie, your big
sister's favorite puppet.

[clears throat] Course, I know
you're too young currently

to understand about radiation,

but Madam Curie
was a very important scientist.

She was also a mom.

Did you know that I...

I knew your mom before
she went to medical school

and became a doctor?

She was...

she was a very,
very special person,

and I...I know that if...

if you can listen to her,

you will grow up
to be a very fine person.

Uh, c-cut all that.

Take two.

[upbeat music]

♪

- Hello?
Dr. Whitcomb?

- Uh...

- Oh, gosh.
Oh, I'm so sorry.

I didn't mean to wake you.

- I-I wasn't sleeping.
I was reading.

Call me Joe.

- Okay, sure.
I'll, uh, I'll call you Joe.

- Did I say something funny?

- No. No, not at all.
I...

You just remind me
of another doctor that I know.

- Who are you?
What do you want?

- Sorry. I'm Divya Katdare.
I have an appointment.

- Oh. Oh, then come in
and close the door behind you.

You're letting
all the cold air out.

- Yeah, it's, uh...
it's rather cool in here.

- Women are more sensitive
to cold than men.

So what can I do for you?

And please make it quick.

I don't want to be late
for my grand rounds.

- Of course. I'd like to talk
about the medical program

at Stony Brook.

I've been admitted
for the fall semester,

though I haven't formally
accepted.

- You're entering
medical school?

- Yes. I'm due five weeks
before the semester begins,

which I know will be
a challenge,

but I've been working as a PA
for several years now.

- Another eager beaver.

Well, I'm afraid
you're gonna have to wait

until second semester
to shadow me.

I do not accept
first semester students.

- Oh, no. I'm here
because of a mutual friend

who recommended
that we meet.

- Oh, who?
- Hank Lawson.

He, uh, he worked under you
in Brooklyn I think.

- Yes, I remember him.
[chuckles]

I was under
the impression that, uh,

Dr. Lawson had quit practicing
medicine some time ago.

- No, not at all.

He's a concierge doctor
in the Hamptons.

- Like I said.
Now, if you'll excuse me.

.

- No, my flight was delayed,

but luckily
my dad's still breathing.

Yeah,
I'm in the hospital right now.

I'm waiting
for his echocardiogram results.

- Make yourself at home.
- Oh, hey.

My dad's doctor's here,
so I got to bounce.

Thanks. I will.
Jerk.

Him. Not you.
- Oh, what a relief.

Ken,
I got your test results.

- Man, I never
really appreciated

what a cozy
little setup you got here.

You got the spa
and the pool table.

You got some cool décor.
You got some taste, Lawson.

Did you pick this stuff out
yourself,

or did you schtup
some internal decorator?

- Neither.
It all came with the place.

What I own
could fit in a suitcase.

Ken, your echo results--

- My heart's messed up.
I know. I know.

- How'd you know?

- You called me "Ken"
twice.

You never call me
by my first name,

so I know it must be bad.

Am I right?

- Um...

The test confirmed
cardiomyopathy.

Heart failure.

Something
is damaging your heart,

and we need to
figure out what.

Have you been using?

- Using--
What, using drugs?

I mean, I feel the temptation
sometimes, but no.

I can't bounce back the next day
the way I used to.

- Right.
- What else could be the cause?

- Well, there's a chance
it could be diabetes

or something genetic,
even viral.

The lab work
will help narrow it down.

I've also made an appointment
for you to see a cardiologist.

- Hank,
when did we get old?

- We're not old.
Just old...er.

- Yeah, but I'm not ready for
achy joints and hearing loss

and my hair falling out

and popping up in places
it shouldn't.

- You're 40-something,
not 80.

- And yet I'm holding the card
of a cardiologist.

- Yeah.

- It's so strange--I always
thought I'd live a long life.

- Well, no one
is saying you won't.

- Can you tell me
for sure that I will?

- Ken--I mean, Keller--

- I think I need to be
alone.

- Okay.

Okay.

- Do you mind?
- Oh, you--yeah. Okay.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- I thought you guys
were still at the hospital.

- Well, we just got back.

- Okay. Was everything okay?

- Yeah. Hoping it will be.

So how was Whitcomb?

- Busy.

He didn't seem to have
much time for me.

- What? He didn't give you
a warm welcome?

- Not from him
or his office.

It was kind of like
a meat locker.

- I'm surprised
it didn't go well.

- Honestly,
it couldn't have gone worse.

He was hostile.

The only excuse I could think
of is maybe he's a day drinker.

He sure was chugging something,

and it didn't seem
to quench his thirst.

- Wait a second--are you sure
you saw the right guy?

- Well, yeah.
Mm...

This is the man that I met.

I Googled him
before the meeting.

- Yeah. That's him,
but...

wow, he's aged.

- Well, whatever his reasons,
he didn't seem to like me.

And just so you know,

he is no big fan of yours
either.

- Really?
- The nicest thing

I could say about him
is he's a total grouch.

- I think I know why.

[upbeat music]

♪

- Everything okay, honey?

- I had a fight with Evan.

He basically called me crazy,
which is crazy.

Men can be such jerks.

Oh, no offense.

- Some taken.

- Listen, I know
how hard you've worked

trying to pry Ms. Jeffries' grip
off her valuables,

and I am fully prepared--

- Good,
because she's cash poor,

and if I am going
to help the dear goose,

it's now or never.
I can't risk any missteps.

- Have I ever made a misstep?

- No, but you've also never
shown up wearing earrings

that don't complement
your jaw line.

Your top button is pulling,
which the Paige I know

never tolerate, and...

dare I say I see moisture
on your upper lip,

which can only be a warning

of sweat rings
about to bloom at any moment.

No offense.
- Some taken.

Wow, my stimulation meds
are...really stimulating.

- You sure you want to
do this?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm fine.

Yeah, let's go.

[both inhale deep, exhale]

- Make yourself comfortable.

Ms. Jeffries
will be down shortly.

- Thank you.

- This place
is a gold mine.

[both laughing quietly]

I spy with my little eye

an authentic
Paul Revere tea service.

- That teapot alone
is worth a fortune.

- Do you see the mark?
- Oh.

Look at that adorable bear.

- I think even Ms. Jeffries can
relegate that to the dustbin.

- Look at the craftsmanship,

and he's been loved to death,

and his little ear's
all chewed.

And someone loved you,
didn't they?

[sniffles]

♪ Once upon a time,
sweet little furry bear ♪

[sniffles]

I'll show myself out.

- Dr. Whitcomb.

- Ha ha ha.

Two Hamptonites
in one day.

What have I done
to deserve this honor?

- Joe, I just found out
that Lenore passed away.

I'm so sorry.

- She was a fine woman.
- She was.

I liked her very much.

- Yeah, I remember.

It's been a few years,
but you look the same.

- And you've lost
a few pounds,

but no surprise.

I remember how Lenore
liked to feed you.

- Well, I had a few pounds
to spare.

Excuse me,
I, uh, have some, uh,

patients to take care of.

- My physician assistant
got the impression

that you were upset with me,
and, Joe, look,

I know I've been lousy

at staying in contact
over the past few years,

but you gave me
my start in medicine.

I owe you so much.
- You owe me nothing.

- Then why?

Why do you seem so angry?

- You were the most promising
ER physician I ever trained.

I-I-I favored you,
took you into my home.

You said you would commit
to Brooklyn.

I thought, "Wow, I finally

found somebody I could really
trust to replace me."

Hah!

- Hey, hey, hey.
I wanted to stay in Brooklyn,

but they didn't want me.
- No, you didn't.

If you wanted to stay,
you would have put up a fight,

like I did for you.

- And I appreciated it.
- Oh, sure.

You waltzed off to the Hamptons
to do boobs and Botox.

- How much weight
have you lost, Joe?

- What are you talking about?
- Weight loss.

You're drinking water like a man
with serious dehydration.

- I am old.
I am grieving,

and I don't need you
to diagnose me!

- Has anyone diagnosed you?

Divya mentioned
your office is freezing.

You also keep rubbing your eyes.
- For God's sakes.

I got work to do!

Real work.

- Joe.

Are you okay?

Joe!

.

- Joe, are you okay?
- [stammering]

- Hey, I need a gurney
and a crash cart.

Tell them it's for Dr. Whitcomb.
- Okay.

- Okay...don't move.

Don't move--I want to make sure
you didn't break anything, okay?

Where do you hurt?

- No, I-I'm fine.
I'm fine.

- Okay.

Can you move your arms and legs?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sure, sure.

- Okay, good.
Nexus negative.

- All right.

- But you're definitely
running a fever.

Your thyroid.
- What about it?

- It's enlarged.

Hypertensive.

- [groans]

Irregularly irregular.
- Oh, boy.

- Joe, are you experiencing
heat sensitivity?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Does your vision get blurry?
- Oh, does it!

- Combined
with your dehydration...

- Is it what I think it is?
- Graves disease.

Not only that, I think you're in
the middle of a thyroid storm.

Over here! Hurry.

I'm with you, Joe.
You just hang in there, okay?

- Hey.

- Hi.
- Wow.

- You can shut the door,
and please sit on the stool.

- Oh, this is cool.

You done this before?

- I've made a film
at every film reunion.

It allowed me to be
with family,

but at a sufficient remove.
- Yeah.

The only thing more stressful

than being with family's
trying to start one.

All right. You ready?

- Commence nursery rhyme.
- Okay, great.

Well,
this one is a showstopper.

It's my favorite of all time,

but it's one
you might not have heard of.

It's called
"Diddle, Diddle, Dumpling."

[ahem]

Diddle, diddle--
- Do you have another one?

That one's been used.

- What? Who used it?

What do you mean
it's been--who--who--

who would use that?

- Hi, cute baby.

I'm going to be reading you
"Diddle, Diddle, Dumpling."

"Diddle, diddle, dumpling.

"My son John went to bed
with his pants still on.

"One shoe off,
and one shoe on.

Diddle, diddle"--

I think I might have
screwed that up.

- She knows it's my favorite.
Why would she do that?

- Anyway, all I know for sure

is that Evan's mom used to
read this to him every night

before he went to bed.

I'm going to try not to cry.

- She stopped by yesterday,
so...

- Okay.
- Hold on.

- He still loves it,

and, uh, if there's
any mom out there

who can raise a child
to be as funny and smart

and kind as my sweet husband,

it's you, Divya.

Oh, I think I got off topic
again.

- Evan?

I'm never going to finish this.

- You were right.
Graves disease.

- All right.
Take me through the treatments.

- Beta blockers and PTU
to control my symptoms

and stop
thyroid hormone synthesis.

And after a few days,
radioactive iodine.

How'd I do?
- You show great promise.

I'll be in touch with the staff
to monitor your progress

and will stay on top of research
for a cure.

- Hey, Hank,
you saved my life.

You've done enough.

- I want to keep looking.

A great doctor once told me,

"Never assume treatments
will not get better."

- You know, I now remember
why you were my favorite.

The other students
were restless.

They...
they couldn't commit.

All they wanted to do
was leave...

and you were ready
to make Brooklyn home.

You once told me that your
big dream was to settle down

and dedicate your life
to my ER.

26 years old, and you couldn't
wait to set down roots.

Those bastards never
should have fired you.

- Believe it or not,
those bastards did me a favor.

Losing that job
changed everything for me.

In a good way.

I hope you can forgive me.

- I hope you can forgive me.

I really misjudged the kind
of doctor you've become.

And thank heaven you're still
a hell of a diagnostician.

- I learned it all
from you.

- Listen, one more thing,
and please don't break my heart.

The Saab you bought from me.
Is it still running?

- 200,000 miles
and counting.

- [laughing]
Like me!

- [laughs]

[playful music]

♪

- Need a little help over there?
- I got it. I got it.

- Yeah, okay.

- Anybody heard from Raj?
What's their ETA?

- Good morning.
- Whatever.

♪

- Are you wearing my bathrobe
and hoodie and sweats?

♪

No, please.
Just keep 'em.

[phone rings]

- Hello?

- Is he okay?
- Yeah.

I'll go check on him.

♪

- What can I do to help you?
- Oh, no.

I'm good.
I just finished here.

- All right.

What else needs to be done?

- You know, I can handle it.

- I know,
but I want to help you.

Let me do this.
Let me just do this, okay?

I like doing cupcakes.
Say when.

- Oh,
that's not really great.

- It's okay.
I'm going to fix it.

Look, just going to consolidate
some of this stuff...

- Uh...
- And, uh...

Maybe I should help
with something else.

- Yeah.

[beeping]
- I got it. I got it!

'Cause I want to be helpful.
Oh, it's not a call.

- Yes.
No, it's time for a shot.

I've got this, really.

- That's Raj. They're coming.
- It's happening.

- They're coming.
- It's happening!

It's happening!
- Hank? Hank?

- Yeah. Oh.

Come on, Keller.
Come on.

- Evan, come on.

- Keller, finish the call,
and hide.

We're hiding!

- No, Peterson.
I'm still in Florida.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Do the words heart failure,
heart disease

and cardio-something-or-other
mean nothing to you?

My father could be dying,
you understand, facing

an eternity of nothingness
- Get off the phone!

- Shh, shh, shh! and you're
worried about some photo shoot?

Show some class,
you schmuck.

Damn, that felt good.

It was a work call.

- Keller?

- What just happened?

- No pulse.
- I'll get the paddles.

- Good.
- Uh, yeah, hi.

We need an ambulance right away.

550 Meadowvale Lane.

Yeah, Shadow Pond.
That's right.

- Come on, Ken.

[power up whine]

- Surpri--

- Clear!

- What's wrong?
- Keller's in V fib. Surprise.

- Okay.
I'll start an IV and push epi.

- We'll need amiodarone too.

- All right.
Paramedics are on the way.

- Clear!

Come on, Keller.

- Boy, that's a flatline.

Keller's flatlining right now?

.

- Come on, Ken.
Come on.

- He's going to make it,
right?

- Ken Keller
is not going to die.

Not on my floor,
and not in my sweats.

Okay.
He's no longer in asystole.

He's back in V fib.
Let's shock him again.

Everyone, stand back.

[power up whine]

Damn it. Damn it.
Stay with us.

- I'll intubate.

- [wheezing gasp]

- Alive!
I'm alive.

- His pulse is pounding.

- Keller, what the hell have you
been injecting yourself with?

- Thanks.

Hi.

- If you've come to see Paige,
she's not here.

- Oh, no.
I'm actually here to see you.

- You have something
on your shirt.

- It's frosting.

I need your help.

I need to get a gift
for Paige,

and I heard her talking to
her mom about some teddy bear.

I'd like to buy it.

Oh.

Wow. This is it?

- That is it.
And put it down.

You can't buy it.

- Why not?

- Thanks to your remarkable
wife's keen eye for valuables,

I did some research,
and that dusty mohair bear

is a one-of-a-kind Steiff.

- Price is no object.

- Starting bid
in the high six figures.

- I just need to get her
something really special.

She's been having
a hard time lately,

and I haven't been
very helpful

at all, really.

- And a gift
will help you fix that?

- Right.
- Wrong.

It's a bribe.

- Well, I can't just say
I'm sorry.

- Nor should you.

Those words will only mean
"I'm not listening.

"I'm not taking
accountability,

and whatever I did,
I will just do it again."

If you truly
want to apologize...

- I do.

- You need to say,
"I hear you."

- Well, that's easy.

- "I understand."
- That's easy too.

- And then don't do it
again.

- That could be hard.

- Steroids?
Really?

- I know.
I know, Lawson.

I stopped taking them
a month ago.

- Why did you take them
at all?

Of course.

You wanted to look good
for a photo shoot.

- For "Sports Illustrated."

- Why didn't you tell me?

- Because I knew
you'd get all judge-y on me.

- You almost got
all dead-y on me.

- I mean, you have no idea

how stressful
the corporate world is--

competing with kids
like Peterson.

They don't want
to earn their way to the top.

They just want to
leapfrog up there.

So I did what I had to do.

But, yes,
I should have told you.

Trust me.
I'll never take them again.

- Well, if you want the damage
to your heart to reverse itself,

that's probably a good idea.

- You don't have to worry.

Because of you,
I've seen the light.

- Okay. You're scaring me.

- You saved me to inspire me.

- And now I'm terrified.
[laughs]

How could I inspire you?

- Well, you live
like a 20-year-old.

- That's ridiculous.
- Look at your life.

Unlike your brother or Divya,

you haven't settled in at all
since you started HankMed.

You've got no possessions,
no mortgage,

no girlfriend, no boss.

You've got nothing.

- That sounds awful.

- I used to think
it was weird and creepy too.

- Oh.
- But now I realize

that's what's keeping you so
healthy and looking so young.

You're like this
healthy young bird

just flying around
totally free.

If I could live like you,

be like you...

maybe I could be happy.

But first I have to be
a new person.

I have to be
a different person.

I have to make
a huge change.

I'm selling my houses.
Everything in 'em.

And I'm moving to L.A.

- California?
That's...

that's your big change?

- It's the perfect place
for me.

Nobody gets old there.

Who knows?
Maybe a year from now

I can be alone on the cover
of "Sports Illustrated"

living in my own swanky
guest house.

- I can't believe
I'm gonna say this,

but...I think
I'm gonna miss you.

- Of course you are.

Come here.
Bring it in.

- Well, uh--
- Hey! Bring it in.

- Okay. All right.
Let's do it.

There you go, Keller.

- Ooh.

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

- Yep. This is happening.

- Hmm.
- We good?

- No. Not yet.

- I think we're good.

Okay.

- Is it true?

- Doctor called
this afternoon.

My follicles
have grown to 18.

- So it's the end
of stimulation?

- It's the end of stimulation.
- It's finally T day.

- It's finally T day.

- Ha ha ha!

Oh, my God.

Oh, that's awesome.

- So I'll give myself
the trigger shot,

and if all goes well

we could be pregnant
by the end of the month.

- Wow.

Just like that.

- Okay.

You should probably go now.

- Yeah, yeah.

Wait.

I'm not leaving you.

- Evan, it's okay.
I can do this.

- So can I.

- Okay.

Okay, I'm going to
pinch the skin,

and you go for it.
- All right.

I'll just go for it.
[ahem]

- Yeah. Okay.
Ready?

- One.

- Two.

both: Three.

- [sighs]

- We did it.

[thud]

.

- Cupcake?
- Thanks. Almost ready.

- Oh, good.

- That's amazing,
'cause I never knew it before.

Oh, thanks, baby.

But I have a fear of needles.

- Trypanophobia.
I had it too.

- Really?

- Was it me, or did
the trigger shot seem huge?

- Oh, yeah.

I don't even like
talking about it.

- Come on.
- Okay, okay.

Maybe like 24-25.

- All right.
Thank you.

It's not just
what Keller said

about how I live
like a 20-year-old.

It's also what Whitcomb
reminded me of.

How I wanted to live.

- It sounds like you
had very specific goals

when you worked in Brooklyn.

- Yeah, but why did I
abandon them when I left?

It's like I never allowed
myself to really set roots down.

- Maybe because
you thought your stay here

was going to be temporary.

- Yeah, but I've been here
for years.

I'm still living
in somebody else's guest house.

- Okay. Maybe now
you're ready to commit.

- I am.

No more holding back.

- Yeah.

Hopefully we'll both be
out of limbo very soon.

- Yeah.
Oh, that reminds me.

Dr. Whitcomb
was in so much pain

when you saw him,
he truly wasn't himself.

He feels terrible about the way
he handled things,

and he hopes you'll meet
with him again soon.

- Okay,
so about Stony Brook--

- I'm ready.

Everyone, please gather
around the movie screen.

- Oh. Later?
- Yeah.

- Okay.

Shall we?
- Yes.

- Divya, I asked Jeremiah,
and he very kindly agreed

to make a special movie
for the shower.

- Yes. There were
some technical challenges

which I won't belabor,

although maybe you'd enjoy
hearing how I shot on Super 8

and digitized to an mpeg video
file for post production

and then did a kinescope
transfer back to Super 8

for projection.
Just kidding.

Excessive detail.

- Good one, Jeremiah.
- Thanks.

But seriously, Raj, Divya,
this is for you.

- Here we go.

[clicking]

- All the king's horses
and all the king's men

couldn't put Humpty
together again.

I wonder if Mr. Humpty ever
had four children under three?

- Diddle, diddle, dumpling.

My son John went to bed
with his pants still on.

- This is how you read it?
You didn't do the voice.

- "Diddle, diddle dum--"

I think
I might have screwed that up.

[laughter]
- ♪ Out came the sun

♪ And dried up all the rain

♪ And the itsy bitsy spider

♪ Climbed up that spout again

- Yeah!
- Whoo!

- Hickory dickory dock.

The mouse ran up the c--
I can't do this.

I really wanted to do
"Diddle, Diddle, Dumpling."

I can't--
- Aw.

- If there's any mom who can
raise a son to be as sweet...

- Son? You're having a boy?
- I was just--

I was just
talking out loud.

I don't know what
I was saying.

As my sweet husband
it's you, Divya.

- Hello, sibling of Sashi.

This is your Uncle Hank.

You will come to know me
as the smart one,

the fun one,
the cool one.

- No, no, no. Listen.
I am your favorite.

I am Uncle Evan, okay?

AKA your mother's favorite
person in the universe.

She loves me so much--

- What?
- Hold on a second.

"In the universe."

I just had an idea.

This is called dancing.

To one of the classics.

['90s house music]

♪

- We are all so proud
of your mother.

[falsetto] "Who graduated first in her class at Johns Hopkins."

"Stony Brook."

"Johns Hopkins."
"Stony Brook."

"Einstein...
Johns Hopkins."

- We cannot wait to meet you.

- We love you already.

- That's "Evan."

Evan. E-V-A--

- Hi, Mommy and the new baby.

- Hi, Mommy.

- Whoo!
- Yeah.

- Awesome, awesome.

- Please.
It is a work in progress.

- And I loved it.

Wow.

This is going to be much
more difficult than I thought.

For the first time
I think I'm realizing

that this baby
won't be growing up

surrounded by you guys every day
the way Sashi has.

Okay. I am not going
to think about it, though,

because if I do,
I'm going to start crying,

and I probably
won't be able to stop.

So, um...thank you, Raj.

And thank you, Jeremiah.

Thank you all.

I hope you all know
how much I love you.

Yes, even you, Evan.

- Thank you.

- So, uh...I am not going
to Stony Brook.

- You're going to Johns Hopkins!

- Oh, my--you got in?
That's amazing!

- I knew you would be accepted.

- No, uh...
I'm still waitlisted.

I decided on the way here,
and Raj agrees,

that if I don't get
into my first choice,

then I'll try again next year.

When it comes to this dream,
I do not want to settle.

And I won't.

- Good for you, Divs.

- I know you'll get in.
- Thank you.

- Divya, really,
I'm so happy for you.

I'm just--
I'm a little surprised.

I mean...it's kind of
a big risk, no?

Are you sure?

- Yes. I've already called
Stony Brook,

and someone on their waitlist
will be accepted in my place.

- Oh.
- You can always do research

with me here during the winter.

- And work at HankMed.
This is gonna be awesome.

- Thank you.

Oh!

[mellow folk tune]

♪

- Really?

♪

Are you kidding me?

Yeah.

[mellow tune continues]

♪