All language subtitles for Royal.Pains.S07E07.1080p.WEB.h264-NiXON_track3_[eng]

[male announcer]
Previously on Royal Pains

[gasps]
Oops.

Raj?

We started spending time
together,

but we are not ready
for anyone to know yet.

For a man who was engaged
just a few days ago

you certainly don't
waste any time.

Cut yourself some slack.

You deserve to live
happily ever after

whether that's with a prince,
or a polo player, or a Raj.

[computer beeps]

The patient we were expecting,
his health is crucial

to the survival
of an entire culture.

[upbeat music]

♪

Good morning.

Good morning, ma'am.
Morning, Nurse Margaret.

When you work 12-hour shifts,
morning is a relative term.

[chuckles]

Oh, those are fresh bagels.

Yeah, yeah they are.

For the nurses?

Well, you know the budget.

What happened to those bagels
you had a couple days ago?

They hardened, like your heart.

Well uh, you know in China,
no one ever gets bagels.

This is the Hamptons.

[whistling]

Hey, guys.

Poch!

What's up, my man?

Give me five, Poch.

Yeah.

It's Rinpoche.

It's an honorific given to only

the most esteemed
spiritual leaders.

Yeah, Poch makes him sound
like he's an egg.

Got it.
Doesn't his surgery start soon?

Where are all the doctors?

The military cardiac team
is delayed at Walter Reed

due to the weather.

His temperature's a little high.

Should we be concerned?

Well, it could just be
a byproduct of all the travel.

Ibuprofen may do the trick,

but I'll run blood and speed him
cultures to be safe.

So since he's a Buddhist,

I asked them to make him
one with everything.

Really?

- Buddhist humor.
- Hmm.

Here you go. So this--

Sorry, he can't eat until
after the surgery.

All right. Um, you know what?

I'm going to give him his
get well gift now then.

He's the 11th reincarnation
of a holy Tibetan lama.

I don't think he wants your--

- Rawr!
- [speaking foreign language]

Seven. He's seven, Hank.
Excuse me.

Okay.

So it does say "Sammy
the snow leopard" on the tag,

but you can call him
whatever you want, okay?

[speaking foreign language]

Seems a little long, uh, but
it's your call. That's great.

All right, I need you
to spit in this. Um...

[exaggerated spitting noise]

Nothing?

Could you tell him I need
some sputum with phlegm?

That would be testing
the boundaries

of my conversational Tibetan,
but I'll try.

[speaking Tibetan]

[Rinpoche spits]

I'll need his cultures
expedited.

Yeah, of course.

I'll need a signature from one
of the attending physicians

for that.
You want me to pick one or--

Mr. Lawson.

If I'd wanted to involve the
doctors at Hamptons Heritage,

I would not have built
this entire facility.

Right. The reason
I brought it up--

Expedited without
a signature, please.

Okay, but that might
raise questions for us

which could then lead someone
to discover this facility

which I don't think you want.

What I want is someone to
provide solutions, not problems.

Surely there is
some other way then.

I can think of one.

Make me an attending.

Hey, thanks for the help
with Boris.

Yeah, don't worry about it.

So, you feel different
now that you're an attending?

Like, tied down,
committed, boxed in?

It's a formality, Evan.

Think of attending
like you think of Rinpoche.

As an honorific.

Right. But still,
it's kind of like I'm your boss.

Interim boss.

Right. Interim.

Yeah.

Thanks.

So when I left last night,

did you get the deal
on all this or what?

30 years ago, the Chinese burned
down Rinpoche's monastery.

And their old leader
barely escaped with his life.

Eight years ago,
that Rinpoche died

and is believed to have been
reincarnated as this Rinpoche,

a young boy with a heart defect.

In order to protect him, his
condition has been kept secret.

Wow.

But I meant, like,
what's the deal with Boris?

Like, what's all this to him?

Oh, no idea.

Oh, thanks.

Yeah.

[announcer on computer]
Take you down
into the nation's capital

[tapping on glass]
into DC.

Look at that storm

just whipping through town
right now.

40-mile-an-hour,
moving off to the east.

Severe thunderstorm warning,

but it's right inside
the Beltway here.

[dove cooing]

But all these commuters
on the roadway.

And DC, by the way,
DC is one of those voted

the world's worst

and the U.S.'s worst
traffic...

Get out of here.
Excuse me.

This is--

Sh--shoo.

Get--

Get out of here.

Look, it's prettier over there.
Go. Get. Get.

Bluh!

Get--oh, ah!

No, no.

What the hell?

[sighs]

[upbeat music]

♪

Divya!

Shh.

Shashi's sleeping.

My apologies.

It was not my intention
to startle either of you.

And what is your intention?

I thought you would appreciate
a break from the drudgery

of your paperwork

which I am pleased to see
is actual paperwork

and not fabrication meant to
spare my delicate feelings.

Ah-ha! Yes, it's real.
All too real.

Then my timing is, as usual,
impeccable.

Come.
You will have tea.

Well, I can't say no to that

partly because
it wasn't a question

and partly because I do enjoy
a good cup of British tea.

How do you feel about French?

This is Darjeeling Star

from Mariage Freres
on the Rue des Grands-Augustins.

One of my favorites.

Just the scent alone
is spectacular.

It is even better in Paris.

Where, as it happens,
I have business next weekend.

Join me.

[laughs]

That wasn't a question, either.

Well, I should hope not.

Quami, the tea is very good

but I can't go to Paris
with you.

There's work, I mean,
there's Sashi, there's--

There's the Seine.

There is the salt air.

The lights.

- The Louvre.
- Mm.

Indulge me.

Close your eyes and picture it.

[sighs]

- The cafes.
- Mm-hmm.

The cathedrals.

The kiss.

The kiss.

I refer of course
to the Rodin sculpture

in the Jardin de Tuileries.

Ah-ha, oui!
Of course.

Or did you see something else?

Well, not something else, just--

Someone else.

Hm. I--

This is a strange
and unusual feeling.

It is...

rejection?

Quami, you are the most
charming prince I have ever met.

But my Prince Charming--

he's someone else.

The other gentleman
you once spoke of to me?

Is this who
you see yourself with?

Yeah, it is.

And you are quite certain?

I am.

Finally. I am.

[upbeat music]

.

[upbeat music]

[dove coos]

I got you now.

[woman screams]

[woman yelps]

Oh, my God. What happened?
Are you okay?

No. Something just attacked me.

Flew right at my head
like I was Janet Leigh.

- No, that's Psycho,ma'am.
- Excuse me?

No, not you, the movie.

Janet Leigh was in Psycho.
Tippi Hedren was in The Birds.

And who are you,
the man who knows too much?

No, I'm Evan R. Lawson.
I'm the administrator here.

Interim administrator.

Well, what kind of cockamamie
place are you running here?

Things in the hallway
flapping at people?

It's unsanitary.

We're on it ma'am.

Stan?

Stan here is going to help you
back to your room, all right?

- Absolutely.
- Mmm.

Great.

Sorry.

[sighs]

Oh, hold on a second.
You forgot your--

[dove coos]

There you are.

Hey, birdie.

Hi, there.

No one's going to hurt you.

It's time for you to go.

Gotcha.

All right. So...

How?

[yells]

[speaking Tibetan]

Yeah, murmur.

Bounding peripheral pulse.

What do you hear?

Patent ductus arteriosus.

It's an opening
between two blood vessels

leading from the heart.

It's supposed to close after
you're born, but when it doesn't

you get this machine-like sound,
and then surgery.

I see.

I appreciate your help, Hank.

Not that you asked for it.

Well, you're not
a cardiac surgeon.

No, but you do
usually consult me.

I thought
maybe you were annoyed

I haven't taken a more
active role with the hospital.

Well, more disappointed.

However, given the
circumstances, you are forgiven.

And you're welcome.

Excuse me.

[thermometer beeps]

Yeah, he's still
running a fever.

A summer cold, perhaps?

Or something he brought
with him from Tibet.

Either way, even if
the cardiac team were here

they wouldn't move forward until
after whatever it is clears.

[mutters in German]

Complications.
Always complications.

Bring this child halfway
around the world undetected

only to be stalled
by a microorganism.

Well, we're not beat yet.

I should draw cultures
and put him on IV antibiotics

if he's okay with that.

I will attempt to ask him.

Rinpoche.

[both speaking Tibetan]

He has consented.

That's great,
but I only need one arm.

Yeah, however,
he needs both arms.

To meditate.

Ah. Right.

[upbeat music]

♪

Knock, knock.

Hi.

I got your message.

And, uh, corn.

A guy was selling it
by the side of the road

and no one was stopping.

I felt bad for him,
so I bought a couple of bags.

You want some?

I already ate.

I meant for later.

Sure, sure.

So, what was so urgent?

Well, um, so...

I was thinking that maybe

we should discuss a getaway.

You know, just the two of us.

Maybe somewhere like the
Wheatleigh in the Berkshires,

because I called and they have
a cancellation for next weekend

so I took it.

And the part we discuss is?

You want to go?

Of course I want to go.

I just thought with us
being on the down-low

it wasn't a possibility.

I'm tired of the down-low.

So am I.

And Karen has the kids next
weekend anyway, so it's perfect.

Great. I left a message
for Nate. So, fingers crossed.

This is so exciting.

Two whole days with just you

and me and no kids.

Of course, that's next weekend.

Right now I've got to get mine

and I can take Sashi with me
if you like.

I'm sure they'd love
to play with her.

[Divya]
Oh, well, I don't know.

I think she had her heart set on
transcribing patient histories

with me.

I'll have her back
in time for dinner.

Maybe I'll get some lobster
to go with that corn.

Hmm.

[kisses]

Because you know how much
kids love lobster.

See you.

Bye, bunny.

Okay. Yep.

Hey!

Hey. Oh, hi.

What are you doing?

Huh? Oh, it's just
a safety inspection.

Someone slipped and fell earlier

so I'm just making sure
everything's good. Yeah. You?

Oh, dropping off some labs.

- Ah, labs, cool.
- Yeah.

Hey, so...ahem...is it okay

if I take next weekend off
from HankMed?

Absolutely.

- Oh, great.
- All righty then.

What's in your hand?

Nothing.

Your other hand.

Nothing. There's nothing--

[sighs]

What is this?

I accidentally
let a bird in this morning

and now I'm trying
to catch it, okay?

So now I've prepared
my emotions.

Please make fun of me now.

No, I get it given
the superstition.

Given what now?

The old saying.

A bird flies in the window,
death knocks at the door.

That's--you're making
that up.

I'm surprised
you've never heard it before.

What?
It doesn't even make sense.

I think the idea is that
the bird comes

and takes the soul to heaven.

Oh, that does make sense.

Anyway, good luck
and thank you for next weekend.

Yes. Thank you, thank you.

Wait, what's next weekend?

Yeah, I can sterilize
the OR in 30 minutes.

Okay.
Have a safe flight, Doctor.

We're very much
looking forward to your arrival.

Okay. Bye.

Good news.
The surgical team is on its...

way.

Care to join us?

Oh, uh, no.
I don't really meditate much.

We're playing Crossy Road
on your iPad.

Oh. Okay.

[iPad dings]

Oh. You've gotten several
of those messages, Hank.

Assuming you are HamptDoc17?

I hope it's not an emergency.

Oh, that.

Uh, yeah, no, it's not.

It's probably just my

Insta Tweet chat feed loop.

It's a dating website.

I, um, I signed up
a few weeks back

but I kinda thought
the well had gone dry.

Well, perhaps Rinpoche's spirit
is re-infusing it.

Uh, that'd be great,
but I have a hard time believing

his divine spirit
is affecting my online dating.

You believe all this is
a coincidence, Hank?

You seeing me in Paige's car?

My bringing you here?

Surgery delayed, all that?

Kinda, yeah.

Don't you?

Who am I to presume
such things?

Boris...are you
a Buddhist?

Lapsed Buddhist, perhaps.

And you?

I tend to be more a man
of science than of faith.

[both speaking Tibetan]

Hm.

What? What'd he say?

He said he has faith.

In you.

.

[upbeat music]

[snoring]

[dove cooing]

[snoring]

[laughs]

Ahh...checkmate.

Just hold still.

All right, just relax.

It's all going to be over soon.

Lawson?

- What the hell are you doing?
- Shh.

I know we need the bed
but let's wait

for Mr. Edwards to go
on his own.

What?

No, I'm--there's a bird.

[Margaret]
What? Where?

It was right there.

This is so weird.

Well, you'd better find it.

Birds spread histoplasmosis,
candidiasis, cryptococcosis,

- encephalitis--
- Okay, okay.

Calm down. It's not like
it's a contagion or something.

It's just a tiny little bird

that somebody let in
by accident.

Why do I have the feeling
that that somebody is you?

I don't know, Margaret. I'm not
responsible for your feelings.

Just get the flea-bitten flying
rat out of this hospital.

Because you know what
I'm responsible for?

- What?
- My patients' health.

And I will not have that
compromised by the ineptitude

of some fancy, suit-wearing,

bird-chasing administrator.

[exhales]

[Divya]
Nate.

Hey. Sorry I'm late.

Traffic was horrendous.

Uh-oh. When was
the last time you saw Sashi?

Like an hour ago. She--

- What?
- She's with Raj.

Oh. Of course.

I don't know
what I was thinking.

Guess I'm a little off my game.

I'll say. I wasn't
expecting you till Friday.

Did you not get my voicemail?

No, I got it.

But apparently
I misunderstood it.

Is something wrong?

No, I just get
this way sometimes.

It comes, then it goes.
I'm hot, then I'm cold.

I'm like a walking
Katy Perry song.

When you say you get this way
sometimes, what do you mean?

Nothing.
Probably just tired.

Nate?

Headachy, fevery.

You want to examine me,
don't you?

Yeah, I do.

Okay.

You don't have appendicitis,

but it could be
a viral infection

or an immune deficiency.

I'd like to get some blood
and urine samples.

Is that really necessary?

Well, this is your health
we're talking about here.

And your hotel reservation.

And that.

[coughs]

He seems worse, Hank.

He is.

His cough, his shortness
of breath, his chest pain.

I'm pretty sure
it's endocarditis.

I don't know how
to translate that.

Tell him it's an infection
of the lining of the heart

and that I'm doing
everything I can.

[both speaking Tibetan]

Related to the defect?

That'd be my guess.

The patent ductus
elevates his risk for it.

[speaks Tibetan]

Boris, listen to me.

If the surgical team
doesn't make it,

we should have a backup plan.

Now, the hospital has
an entire cardiac ward that--

No. For his safety we cannot
expose him to anyone else.

Okay, but for his health
we need to at least consider

an outside cardiologist.

And what if Evan
does some checking?

You know, without
giving any specifics.

Just to vet someone
who could be discreet?

And we would trust
Evan's judgment?

Absolutely.

Excuse me, Dr. John?

Hang on.

Nice work, doctor.

Are you talking to me?

No, to me.

Mr. Lawson, I assume you're
here to look into my pants.

I'm--

The pair that were torn on one
of your conference room chairs.

I e-mailed you an invoice.

Is none of this
ringing the bell?

No, sorry,
I get a lot of e-mail.

Who doesn't? Just search for
"pants invoice." You'll find it.

Will do. So just setting aside
the pants for one second, uh,

I was hoping to talk to you

about a potential
high-profile patient.

HPPs are my specialty.

Well, unless
you count cardiology

which obviously you do.

I've done Regis, Miley, Babs.
I'm the go-to guy.

Terrific.

[machine beeping]

Aside from the name-dropping,
it's terrific.

So this HPP, we're talking
athlete? Actor? Politician?

[machine continues beeping]

You need to deal with that?

I'm on it.

Dr. John, she's tachycardic.

Yeah, she is. Hit her
with 20 mgs of diltiazem.

It's no big deal.

It is a little strange though.

She was doing fine till right
after that basket got here.

They always send fruit.

I gotta go.

Let me know when you want me.

We don't want him.

He may be a good cardiologist
but he's got all the discretion

of Julian Assange on a bender.
You want me to keep looking?

No, the surgical team's
only 30 minutes out.

- We should be okay.
- All right.

Come.

His heart rate's dropped.
He's bradycardic.

I'm going to
administer atropine.

It's okay.
It's going to be fine.

Hang in there, buddy.
Okay, Poch?

Okay.

He's not responding.

He needs a pacemaker, now.

Can you do that?

[Evan]
Yeah, of course he can.
He's Hank.

He's done it a million times.
Right?

First time for everything, and
unfortunately this can't wait.

[chanting]

Will that distract you?

I'll take all the help I can
get, natural and supernatural.

.

[upbeat music]

- Nate?
- Hi.

Sorry to bug you again.
I've been feeling a lot worse.

I ache all over
and it hurts to breathe.

Okay. Let's see what's going on.

[thermometer beeps]

Odd.

Your preliminary cultures
all came back negative,

but you're still
running a fever.

Why is that odd?

Well, usually
a high temperature means

that you have an infection
of some sort.

Have you taken antibiotics
when this has happened before?

No.

Like I said, it usually
just goes away on its own.

My dad, he used to take
cold baths for it.

[accented] "I will
drown it out," he'd say.

In a vampire voice?

No, in a Greek accent.
He's Greek.

Greek, of course.

Of course what?

Familial Mediterranean fever.

It's an inherited disorder
that presents

with recurring fever
and inflammation.

That's what this is?

I don't know, but we'll do
a genetic test to find out.

Sit up for me?

Ah.

- Got it?
- Yeah.

Deep breath.

It can also cause fluid
to build up in your lungs

which is the crackling sound
that I am hearing.

I'm taking you
to the hospital.

[monk chanting]

Okay. Here we go.

Next time you build
a secret operating room,

I'd like to
request fluoroscopy.

Because?

Because I'm flying blind here.

The only way I'll know when
the wire's in the right spot

is to watch the EKG.

Hi.

[dove coos]

[monk chants]

Okay. I need to maintain
a sterile field

so you need to be
my second set of hands.

Hold up that V2 lead

so I can attach
this alligator clip to it.

Okay, good.
I'm in the right atrium.

[dove coos]

I'm at the apex
of the right ventricle.

And...

we have capture.

Now I need you to attach
the leads to the pacer box

which is right there.

If you can grab that.

Good.

All right.

Plug the one marked "distal"
into the negative lead

and the other into the positive,
just like jump-starting a car.

You've never
jump-started a car.

Of course I have.

It's just...

been awhile.

[sighs]

[dove coos]

[sighs]

Okay.

Good.

Nice work.

[monk chanting]

.

The surgeon does not
even touch her patient.

[Hank]
Yep.

And the robotic arms
are so precise,

Rinpoche will barely
have a scar.

Used to be for a procedure
like this,

you'd have to crack open
the entire ribcage.

Will it work, Hank?

It should.
It should.

When I was 18,

with far too much money
and not enough sense,

I went off to Tibet
in search of a...

searching.

I'd heard of a hidden monastery
that had escaped China's purges.

I was possessed with
the romantic idea of...

finding it, and...

And then eventually,
I did find it.

But my money
had attracted attention.

A month after I left,

the monastery was burned
to the ground.

My self-centered escapade
was the cause

of their near destruction,

and left me
with a profound debt

I thought I'd never
be able to repay.

Who knew a robot might be able
to repair a piece of his heart

and a piece of your karma
at the same time?

No. Okay. It's--listen.

It's two dark roast, one flat
white, three double caps,

six assorted doughnuts,

and two gluten-free cranberry
almond scones. You got it?

- Got it.
- Okay.

Small black coffee, two sugars.

And that.

Still got it?

Yes. Maybe.

You can do this, okay?

I believe in you,
"Philistia."

It's Felicia.

You really didn't have to
get me that.

Well, at this rate I'll be
surprised if I get anything.

Oh, so, Margaret,
you'll be happy to know

that it is bye bye birdie.

Hamptons Heritage is
once again a no-fly zone.

Somewhere out there,
the eagle has landed.

- I got it.
- Right.

Listen, I really want
to apologize

for my outburst yesterday.

My bird-hate
is not your problem.

Wow. Thank you.

Yeah, it's fine.

Animals affect everyone
differently.

I didn't used to hate birds.

Oh, really? What happened?

You park under a pigeon coop
or something?

No.

Well, what?

You can't just dangle "I didn't
used to hate birds" out there.

Come on, what happened?

My husband Troy repaired
power lines for the town.

And birds are always
landing on those.

That is incredibly annoying.

That's not the story.

Troy had a broken ankle,
and not for the first time.

It was that kind of job.

He was home recuperating,
and I was taking care of him,

and this jay flew into the den.

I chased that damn thing
for an hour

until I finally got it
out the kitchen door.

When I got back, Troy was gone.

He had an embolism.

Oh, my God.

I'm so sorry.

It was six years ago,
but still now,

when I see birds
flapping, or cheeping,

or sitting on a wire with their
beady little eyes, I just--

I know it's stupid
but I just can't stand them.

Someone gave me
tapioca pudding,

uh, when, uh,
when my mom died,

like to make me feel better.

And even still just
the sight of that stuff

gives me a knot
in my stomach, you know?

Not that I liked it
very much to begin with,

but...you know.

I never liked it either.

How is it that you always appear
at exactly the right moment?

Hi, thank you for
keeping her last night.

Of course.

How's Nate?

Oh, okay. He should be out
by tomorrow.

Are you okay?

I didn't get much sleep.

Did she keep you up?
[gasps]

Did you keep Raj up?

It wasn't her.

It was Karen.

Karen.

What do you mean?

When I picked up the twins
yesterday, she wanted to talk.

She said she'd been
thinking, and that, uh,

she wants to try
couples' therapy.

Something I suggested
long ago.

So what did she say?

I said I'd think about it,

which is what I was doing
all last night.

And I think I have to
at least give it a try.

For the kids' sake.

The first session is Saturday.

I feel awful.

Don't.

You said it yourself. It's--

You have to give it a try.

I'm so sorry, Divya, but I--

But nothing.

It's the right thing to do.

I'll keep in touch.

.

[all speaking Tibetan]

What? What did he say?

He says he'd like me
to accompany him

back to the monastery,

and he would like
to bless you.

Oh. Okay.

[speaks Tibetan]

[speaking Tibetan]

You want my iPad?
You want my iPad?

Uh...

He only wants to
bless it, Hank.

Oh.

His heart has been repaired.

He says yours should be as well.

You told him about
my dating thing?

Don't be so embarrassed.
He's seven.

Right.

Um, okay.

[iPad beeps]

Just no crazy ones, please.

[upbeat music]

♪

What are you doing?

What?

- That's not how you eat corn.
- What are you talking about?

You're going round and around

like it's a sideways
barber pole.

You're supposed to go back and
forth like it's a typewriter,

like normal people do,
like this. [nibbling]

Okay, you're insane.

- Oh, I'm insane, really?
- Yeah.

What do you think?

Well, I think Hank should
have something other than

beer and corn on hand
for his guests.

Oh, I'm sorry,
I meant to get to the market

but I was stuck
in a secret operating room.

As was I.

However, my kitchen
lacks for nothing.

I assume.

Well, you're still in attending
at the hospital

which means
I'm still your boss,

which means that I can tell you
to stop eating your corn

like a weirdo.

You're my interim boss,
it's a technicality,

and how I eat corn
is way above your pay grade.

I'd like to be considered
as permanent administrator.

I'm not sure that's
the optimal way

to resolve
these corn differences.

No, not because of that.

I mean, seriously.

Because I like the job,
because I care about it,

and because I think
I'm pretty good at it.

Indeed.

Well, I would be foolish not to
consider you for the position.

Well done, Lawson brothers.

I thank you.

Your combined efforts
were a most welcome asset.

As I trust
they will be again.

Um, do you mean
that in general,

or because you have
something in mind?

All in good time, Hank.

Is that my corn?

What, this was yours?

Sorry, it was just sitting out
on the counter.

Fine. Please, sit.

Okay. You want some?

And if you do,
how do you eat it?

No thank you,
I'm not really hungry.

But I definitely
will take a beer.

Yeah, you got it.

You okay?

It's a long story.

Do you want to talk about it?

- No.
- Okay.

Like a typewriter, like this.

Ev.

What?

You got something
in your hair.

Huh.