All language subtitles for Royal.Pains.S07E02.1080p.WEB.h264-NiXON_track3_[eng]

- Previously on Royal Pains...
- Somebody needs Mama's help.

I'll be right back, okay?

You're choking on something,

and I'm gonna get it out.

Hey, what are you guys doing?
That is my daughter!

You'll have to take this up
with Child Protective Services.

Get your--
Get your hands off me!

Ma'am, you're under arrest.

What?

[upbeat music]

♪

Hello.

I'm Dr. Jeremiah Sacani.

I'm looking for
Divya Katdare.

Is that how you say it?

Yes, "Ka-dar-ee."
I'm her friend.

Your friend's
a real piece of work.

I'm here to take her home.

Sorry.
She's staying the night.

Is that necessary,
Chief Kern?

It's Officer Kern,
and yes.

May I ask why?

Well, let's see
for starters

she assaulted
a police officer.

Divya?
Are you certain?

Pretty certain,
since it was me

when I tried
to restrain her.

I'm sorry, that must have been
very difficult for you.

Why were you trying
to restrain her?

We found Ms. "Kat-dare's"
daughter left alone

in a Range Rover
on Windmill Lane

while she was
out shopping.

And to get out of it she claimed
that she had just arrived

and was a doctor
or something,

helping someone
in medical distress.

Divya's a physician
assistant.

It's a fully respected
and accredited profession.

Okay, have a good night.

Maybe you could corroborate
her time line

with the credit card record
from her parking meter.

I have someone
on that right now.

Did she call 911?

If so, I'm sure you also
checked the call logs.

If Ms. Katdare were helping
someone in medical distress,

I'm sure the call logs
would certainly

support her version
of the events.

What do you think
about "Papa"?

Oh, Evan.

Is that too Hemingway?

Then what, just "Dad"?
"Daddy"?

Everyone says "Daddy."

"Sir."
Is that too formal?

Don't you think
you're jumping the gun

just a bit?

I'm just excited.

Who knew trying
to make a baby

could be this much fun?

Well, just think about
how much more fun it'll be

when we're back
in our own place.

Why, are you not
comfortable here?

Listen, I--

I really appreciate
Hank letting us crash here.

It's just--

- What, no privacy?
- Yeah.

- Voices carry.
- Mm-hmm.

I hear you.
Hank probably can too actually.

Oh, that makes me feel
so much better.

Yeah.

Where you going?

To get a glass of water.

You can't.

What if Hank's date
hasn't left yet?

What if they're doing their own
baby making down there?

Just use the bathroom sink.

We really need to get back
to our own place.

As soon as snakes stop popping
out of our chimney!

"Pops."

[upbeat music]

♪

[groans]

Right.

Oh.

Well, good morning.

And I take it you had
a good evening as well.

Shh, not so much.

You made her sleep outside?

No, of course not.

When she finally let me
go upstairs at 4:00 a.m.,

I told her to sleep
on the couch, but...

[laughing]
Yeah, it does.

[Hank]
Everything was okay at first.

Are you gonna
finish that?

Uh, I--
No, no.

[Hank]
I've got nothing against
a hearty appetite.

But after my steak,

she polished off
two bottles of wine.

Oh.

Oh, it's still going!

[Hank]
But the topper was...

[slurring]
Dr. Delicious...

Yeah?

Can you check out
this thingy

I have on my forehead?

I just--
I want to make sure

it's not a tumor or a cyst
or something really bad.

It's--

Yeah, okay.

So it's more of a good news/
bad news situation.

You don't have a tumor,

but you do have
a tick up there.

Uh...

Knew I shouldn't have slept
in that guy's truck.

Oh.

I couldn't let her
drive home like that,

so here she is.

Yeah.

What are you boys
whispering about?

You made her sleep outside?

No, I did not make her
sleep outside, ugh.

[Evan]
Oh.

Hello.

Good morning.

Ugh!

Jeez.

Oh, my head.

Becki, this is
my brother Evan

and his wife, Paige.

I will get you some aspirin.

A dozen or two
should do the trick.

Yeah.

Hi there.
Nice to meet you.

[sighs]

Well, this isn't
too embarrassing.

Don't worry about it.

It's a little embarrassing,
but we can handle it.

[Evan]
How was your night?

[gasping, coughing]

Are you okay?

It's hard to--
[wheezing]

- Hey, Hank.
- Yeah?

Becki can't breathe.

Okay, okay,
take it easy.

Let's--let's sit you down.

That's it.

Has this ever
happened before?

- Never.
- Okay.

[wheezing]

Becki, do you have
any allergies?

Okay, Evan go!

Get my bag.
Get me some EpiPens.

Do you have a family history
of anaphylaxis?

[wheezes]

You seem to be having
an allergic reaction

to something.

I just--

I've heard of cases where
a bite from a certain tick

can cause
a red meat allergy.

I think you're having
a delayed reaction

to last night's steak.

I'm gonna give you an injection
which should help you breathe.

[wheezing, groaning]

- Uh, that didn't work.
- No, it didn't.

All right,
I'm gonna have to intubate.

Becki, I'm gonna
lay you down.

Easy.

That's it.

[wheezing]

Okay.

It's okay, Becki.

Okay.

Nope, anaphylaxis
is causing too much swelling.

I can't get the tube in.

- So now what?
- Another epi pen.

What if that one
doesn't work?

Then I'm gonna have to do
an emergency cricothyrotomy

to establish an airway.

[grunts]

- Damn it.
- It didn't work?

So you do
the crico thing?

Does that involve--
Oh, yeah, okay.

Oh.

[inhales deeply]

Did it work?

It worked.

- [breathes deeply]
- It worked.

[laughing]
Whoa.

You're okay.

You're okay.

Becki, let's sit you up.

[murmurs]

[sighs]
Thank you.

Good thing I didn't ruin
an otherwise perfect date.

Yeah, yeah.

Hey, how 'bout I
whip up some eggs

and get some protein
in you?

[gagging]

[retches]

Hm.

So...did you pop
the question?

- Too soon?
- Yeah, too soon.

[upbeat music]

♪

.

[upbeat music]

♪

Anyone know where
our fearless leader is?

I mean, it's five after.

It is unlike Evan
to be late for a staff meeting.

Sorry I'm late.

Evan will be
right with you.

He made it this morning.
You guys will love it.

Good morning, Angels.

Hank.
Divs.

Jeremiah.

Hello, Evan.

That's what we get for always
sitting in the same seats.

You're all looking wonderful.
And, uh...

It is a new shirt.
Thank you.

Shall we get started?

Seriously?

Divya, please stop talking.

How on Earth--

And welcome to our semi-annual
HankMed budget meeting.

Sorry I couldn't
join you guys in person.

It's just my schedule at
the hospital made it impossible.

So before you,
you will each see an agenda,

a time line and minutes
from our last budget meeting.

If you'll kindly
turn to page one--

Okay, so I'm gonna
go grab a bagel

before my 10:00.

I'm out of diapers.

Talk to you guys later.

Jeremiah.

[sighs]

I wanted to thank you again

for bailing me and Sashi out
yesterday.

I'm glad you were supposed
to pick me up

at the train station
so I could help.

I have been trying
to figure this out,

but how did you do it?

Actually,
it's very simple.

I freaked.

Well, when I did that

it just seemed to make
the policeman angrier.

No, F.R.E.A.K.
is actually an acronym

that Bob,
my new therapist,

uses to help with potentially
challenging social interactions.

Oh, I didn't know you were
seeing a new therapist.

Yes.

It's been very interesting
speaking with him.

He's unconventional.

F.R.E.A.K. for instance.

Um, F.

"Face the person
with whom you're speaking."

Yes, "Ka-dar-ee."
I'm her friend.

R, "React."

Is that necessary,
Chief Kern?

E, "Empathize."

Oh, I'm sorry, that must have
been very difficult for you.

A, "Affirm."

I'm sure you checked
the 911 logs.

And then finally K,
"Kill it."

Not literally homicide.

It's--it's a euphemism

meaning do it to the best
of your ability.

Yeah, you certainly
did kill it.

And I'm glad that
I was supposed to get you

at the train station too.

Good-bye, Evan.

[muted speech]

[upbeat music]

♪

[groans]

[cell phone beeps]

Hey, you must be Hank!

Josh Dunlap.

Yeah, almost done.

You gonna just stand there?

All right.

You a runner?

More of a jogger.

Eh.

Just out of curiosity,

how long are we
doing this for?

I got another patient today,
and I've already showered.

Just a couple hundred
more feet.

Be 13.1 miles for me.

Wow, now I feel bad
for complaining.

Don't.

I'm training for
the Hamptons Triathlon.

Oh, yeah, isn't that Sunday?

It is, it is.

It's my last timed run.

117 minutes, 3 seconds.

Every second counts,
every step counted.

- You ever see one of these?
- Nope.

Called a RaceBand.

Automatically
detects and tracks

all my running,
cycling, swimming,

which I've been doing
a lot of lately.

Here we go.
Let's finish strong.

You got it, pal.

Hold on.

Ah.

[breathing hard]

What's up, Josh?

I--I just--

Man, I've been finishing
so weak lately.

Instead of
building stamina,

I'm just getting lightheaded
and--and fatigued.

Think I'm pushing
myself too hard?

It's a possibility.

Look, I know I'm not
exactly the poster boy

for a triathlon,

but training
for this race,

it's been the toughest thing
I've ever done.

I just--I'd rather die

than have it all
fall apart right now.

Well, how about
we try to avoid both?

Yeah, that'd be great.

[upbeat music]

♪

Morgan, how's it going, man?

Dr. Foley,
I heard your request

about Wi-Fi in the elevators
loud and clear.

- I'm working on it.
- Thanks, Evan.

Stan, I got your email.

I see how much overtime
you orderlies have been working.

I'm gonna lighten
your load.

- Thank you, Mr. Lawson.
- All right.

Margaret Redding,
head of nursing.

Hamptons Heritage employee
of 11 years.

Goes by "Maggie."

Yeah.
Who are you?

Evan R. Lawson.
I'm your new administrator.

Ah, I heard you were
interim administrator,

and you can call me
"Margaret."

Got it.

[upbeat music]

♪

You know, I've always thought
about doing a triathlon.

Well, that's not
how they get done.

Right.

It's just
the open water swimming

would just crush me.

You know, we all got
a weak event, Hank.

- Ugh, that's why you train.
- Right.

When I first started
my weak event was running.

And biking and swimming.

Oh.

Yeah, but hey,
now I can swim a whole mile.

No problem, yeah.

You know what,
I should coach you.

I got a date with the ocean
this afternoon.

You wanna come?

Ah, yeah, if my day
isn't too crazy,

I might take you up
on that.

I like that.

I'm guessing that tastes
better than it looks.

Oh, kale, celery,
organic whey, yum.

Any other
dietary changes?

You know, as the race
has gotten closer,

I started adding MCT oil,
creatine to my shakes.

Just for the extra boost.

Yeah, well, if it's supposed
to be giving you a boost,

it doesn't seem
to be working,

but it could be elevating
your blood pressure.

How about you enjoy those
smoothies without the creatine?

I'm sure they'll be
just as tasty.

Eh.

Hey, look,
you've gotten this far.

You'll do great Sunday,
even without it.

Yeah, well, it's not just
Sunday I'm worried about.

See, one of the great things
about the RaceBand

is the social aspect.

Get to share my workouts.

You know,
see how well I'm doing.

Ah, daily competition
with your training partners.

Partner.
Jane, my girlfriend.

And she's kicking my butt.

It's great that you
and your girlfriend

are training together.

Is that how you met?

Oh, no.
God, no.

We met the same place
everybody does these days.

Right.
Of course.

And where is that?

Hi.

- Hey.
- Hey, hey.

What did they think
of the video staff meeting?

Oh, they, um--
They loved it.

You didn't stay,
did you?

Oh, I needed to get ready
to meet the exterminator.

That's okay.
Are the snakes gone?

Ah, no.

Turns out "Do It All
Pest Control" doesn't.

- Huh.
- So we're back to square one.

I just want to get back home

so we can get it and us
ready for a baby.

We will, we will.

We just need
to stay patient, okay?

Listen, Evan,
I've got to run.

I've got a client meeting
with Russell.

Hey, we're gonna
figure all this out.

Okay.

I will try
to stay patient.

And yet, I can't help
but feel crazed and crazy

because it's all so new
and exciting.

I mean, Evan, we've never
been parents before.

I know.

[giggles]

I know.

Okay, I gotta go.

Bye.

Hi there.

I, um...

Hypothetically
if someone made a donation

about 13 or so years ago,

is there any way
to find out if it...

turned into people?

.

[upbeat music]

You don't like 'em,
you don't like 'em.

She doesn't like 'em.

Your shirt's nice.

Thank you.

Okay, the poses are
a little...forced.

I think Hank looks winning.

Very accurate skin tones.

Did you take these pictures,
Jeremiah?

I did, yes.

Look, I don't know how I've
avoided online dating so far,

but I think I'm gonna be
pretty terrible at it.

I mean, there are more
dating websites and apps

than there are dates.

You got your Tinder,
your Snapchat,

Coffee Meet Bagel,
Grindr.

I don't think
you want Grindr.

I'm not sure I want to swipe
and tap and double tap and like.

It just kinda makes me long
for the simpler times, you know?

I mean, whatever happened
to meeting someone face-to-face?

So then why
are you doing it?

I guess after what happened
with my last date,

I need to be open
to anything.

Not to mention it is where
everyone meets these days.

- It is?
- Mm-hmm.

Hank, why don't you read her
the profile you wrote?

Yeah, great idea.
I'd love a woman's opinion.

Okay, um--
[clears throat]

Hey, sorry I'm late.

Oh, Evan, um, Hank was about to
read Divya his dating profile.

I helped him write it.
Would you give us your advice?

Oh, yes, yes.

You did say you'd love
a woman's opinion.

[chuckles]

Yeah, happy to help.

Okay, um...

"I'm Hank.

I'm a single doctor
who was raised in New Jersey."

[child laughs]

"Eventually I found
my way to Brooklyn,

"where I was an ER doctor
for a while.

Then I was..."
[fades out]

"Mahjong, street dance,
fluent Spanish."

So what do you think?

Ev?

Home run.

[cell phone beeps]

Hello?

Okay, we'll be right there.

New patient.
It's an emergency.

Um, I'll go.

Maybe you should stay
and work on our profile.

I mean your profile.

Yeah, okay. Thank you.

Are you okay?

Yeah. Why?

No, just you seem
a touch distracted.

And I can't believe
I'm saying this,

but I could really use
your input.

I told you, it's great.

It's--
Really, it's perfect.

Yeah?

Tell me one thing I said.

Okay, I'm sorry.

It's just--

I have to tell you something.

When I moved to Brooklyn
after college,

I--I needed some money.

And, well,
there was a sperm bank.

Of course there was.

So I made a donation.

Of course you did.

So I called them to see
what happened with it.

Like, if they hit
their mark

and how many marks
they may have hit,

but they wouldn't say
over the phone.

So...

So what's Paige
gonna think

about the fact
that I might have more kids

than an NBA player?

Why 13 years later are you
suddenly worried about this?

Because I totally
forgot about it.

Then Paige got pregnant.
It just hit me.

Paige is pregnant?

No, she was pregnant.
Now she's not.

That's not the point.

The point is we're trying,
and Paige doesn't know

that our baby,
whenever it comes,

might have hundreds
and hundreds of siblings.

Okay, okay,
it doesn't work like that.

Would you please fill me in
on Paige's pregnancy?

She was pregnant.

And then she wasn't.

That's really helpful.
Thank you.

After it ended,
did she go see her doctor?

How is she?

Her doctor is out of town
for the week.

Didn't seem like waiting
was a big deal.

Why, is waiting
a big deal?

No, no,
I'm sure she's fine.

But you okay
if I give her a call?

- Of course.
- Okay.

One more thing,

donating your sperm?

What were you thinking?

There are easier ways
to make money.

Name one.

That's a fair point.

Oh, thank you for coming
so quickly.

Come on, Gretl, up.

I'm Caroline Koch.

I'm Dr. Sacani.

This is Divya.
You said it was an emergency?

My tongue died.

Oh, uh,
is it feeling numb

or painful?

So much worse than that.

And the scariest thing is
I know why it happened.

Oh, you do?

Yeah.

While Gunther and I
don't have children,

we do have our babies,

and like any good mama
I love my babies.

And I show them this love
with lots of kisses and cuddles.

But yesterday
after I kissed Gretl,

I realized she had dragged
a dead squirrel into the house.

Actually, it was half
a squirrel, the wrong half.

You look so familiar.

Anyway, after I noticed
the dead rodent,

I immediately became nauseous
because I realized

that whatever poison
this vermin passed on

to sweet Gretl,
Gretl then passed on to me.

How long do I have?

Uh, may we see your tongue?

Mrs. Koch,
you're not going to die.

Uh, well, eventually
obviously.

But did you take
Pepto-Bismol

when you became nauseous?

How did you know that?

Your discolored tongue
is called by bismuth,

and ingredient
in Pepto-Bismol.

The bismuth can combine
with sulfur in one's saliva

to produce that type
of discoloration,

but that is all it is,
an ugly tongue.

And the discoloration
will go away on its own.

Ah, thank you.

Imagine the irony
if Gunther outlived me.

His tongue died years ago,
but that's not a problem.

Okay, nice to meet you.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Don't go just yet.

There is something else
that is killing me.

Divya, where do
I know you from?

Blackstone?
Watermill Spa?

Oh, you are "Socialite Mom
Who Abandoned Baby."

You attacked
that police officer.

That's not what happened.

How could you know that?

Oh, honey, you are splashed
all over DansPapers.com.

- Hey, excuse me.
- Sorry, ma'am.

You'll have to take this up
with Child Protective Services.

Child Protect--what?

Hey, just--
Hey, get--

Get your hands off of me!

Ma'am,
you're under arrest.

[sighs]

More than half
of all first pregnancies

result in miscarriages
soon after conception.

Usually the mother never
knows she was pregnant.

But since at-home tests detect
pregnancy earlier than ever,

women are finding out
that they're pregnant

before the miscarriage
occurs,

which is what
I think happened.

Do you think
it'll happen again?

I don't know.

But your ultrasound
looks fine.

Okay.

Hey.

Are you okay?

I am sad.

And I'm scared

that I might not be able
to have a baby.

I don't know anything about
my birth mother or father

or their medical history.

I can see why that would
make you anxious.

You know, you could get
genetic testing.

I mean, it may help answer

whether or not
you can have a baby.

The thing is,

I think I'm afraid
to find out.

So you ready for this?

Well, I'm not sure
about that.

I thought we'd start off
with a mile.

What?

Joking.

No, we'll take it slow.

- Okay.
- Ish.

[grunts]

Oh!

I got you a present.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

It's got my app on it.

Yeah, now we can be
training partners.

Nice.

You start slacking off,

I'm gonna be texting you
to get back to work.

Thank you, I think.

[chuckles]

So what are the chances

your app can help me
with online dating?

[laughs]

I don't know, man.

I mean, you're
the success story.

Maybe you can give an old man
like me some advice.

Oh, yeah, single, successful,
handsome doctor.

Yeah, must be agony
for you.

No, seriously,
I don't get it.

I can't even
pick my photo.

- Seriously?
- Seriously.

Well, you know what?

You should try
the site I used.

Yeah, don't need
a picture to start.

It's all about connecting you
to people based on who you are,

not what you look like.

That sounds more my style.

And then, you know,

after you find a personality
match for your profile,

then you can
trade pictures.

Yeah, I don't have
a profile yet either.

- Really?
- Really.

You are really
not good at this.

Not good, no.

Okay.

So there are
certain attributes

you can use
on your profile

that are gonna attract
a high volume of women.

Okay.

Like say,
you play guitar.

Or you watch Homeland.

Or you have tattoos.

You--
you do all that?

Well, I've seen Homeland.

Like, a couple times.

Ah.

So what did Jane say
when she discovered

you don't play guitar
or have any tattoos?

I'll let you know
when she finds out.

- Ah.
- Yeah.

Jane and I have
actually never met.

She's from Sydney.

We do everything online.

Okay, see,
I don't get that.

How is that--

We know each other
better than most couples.

I mean, I'm able to follow
her training regimen,

her heart rate, diet.

So when does she get here?

Tomorrow.
[chuckles]

You know any good
tattoo parlors?

Kidding.
Kinda.

Honestly, if I could
do it all over again,

I'd be fully aboveboard.

- Yeah?
- My only advice to you is

I'd just be yourself.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, you ready for this?

Absolutely.

Let's do this.

Yep.

Whoo!

[energetic music]

♪

All right, pace yourself.

Hank, I'm coming for ya!

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

Hank, wait up!

Nice, easy strokes.

Need me to slow down?

[suspenseful music]

Josh?

Josh!

Josh!

.

[tense music]

♪

[gasping]

[groaning]

Excuse me!

Call 911 now, please!

♪

Damn it.

Breathe, Josh.

Come on.

[panting]

Damn it!

Come on, Josh!

You can do it.

Come on!

That's it.
That's it.

Okay, okay, easy breaths.
Easy breaths.

You're okay.

I think so.

Okay, do you remember
what happened?

I was gonna ask you.

Okay.

We'll get you
to the hospital,

and we'll find out.

You're gonna be okay, bud.

Hi there.
Hi, I'm Evan R. Lawson.

I'm the new administrator.

I just wanted to tell you guys
a little bit about my plan

to streamline the--

You know, stream--

Daddy!

Hi there,
I'm Evan R. Lawson.

I'm the new administrator.
Nice to meet you.

Yeah, we met
this morning.

Oh, we did?

Sure.

Don't you remember?

Of course, yeah, yeah.
You are, uh...

Uh...

Starts with an M.

Margaret.

Right, yes!

Uh, here for 11 years.
Hates when I call her "Maggie."

You're gonna
fit in great here.

Hey.

What's happening?

You sounded freaked out.
Now I'm freaked out.

I'm glad you're here.

Here.

When I was young,
I made a terrible mistake.

Okay, before I met you,
way before.

Just I wasn't thinking
about the consequences

for my future,
for our future.

You have a child.

I may have more than one.

You were married before?

No, of course not.

[whispers]
I--I needed money.

You were a male prostitute.

What?
No, I--

Look, I donated sperm
to a sperm bank.

I called them earlier

to see if they would
tell me more about it,

but they wouldn't do it
over the phone,

so I'm gonna
go in there tomorrow.

No, no, no.

We'll both go.

Great.

So you really think
I coulda been a male prostitute?

[laughs]
Sorry.

You don't seem to have
any abnormalities on your EKG,

and your MRI results
were also clean.

So what do you
think happened?

I'm not sure,
but to be safe

I want you to stay here until
we get your blood tests back.

Is there any chance it could
be from anxiety?

Yeah, sure.

I mean, a first triathlon
could make anyone anxious.

Ah, no, it's not
just the race.

Um, do you remember
how I said

that Jane and I were sharing
all of our training stats?

Uh-huh.

Well, what I didn't say

was that I actually
invented RaceBand.

So I can go in and tweak
the data a little bit.

Aha.

So you've been improving
your results.

Yeah.

Ugh.

It's just
training together,

it just made us
so close.

You know,
we bonded on this race.

Then...

you know, when my times stopped
improving, I got scared.

You know, I was like,
what if she stops liking me?

Gah, I just--
I really like this girl, Hank.

I mean, she's special.

I just want to be the guy
that Jane thinks I am.

[gentle music]

♪

You've got to be kidding me.

Well, that's absolutely
ridiculous!

What's ridiculous?

They're calling me
a rich bitch,

a liar and
a terrible mother.

They watch this and they think
they know what really happened,

but they have no idea
what really happened,

and then they're just
assuming the worst.

I don't think you should
get yourself invested

in these people.

One of them spelled
"physician" with an F.

[sighs]

I saved a life that day.

But no one believes it

because it's not
on some website video.

People who write these kinds
of comments are bullies.

The only thing worse
than physical bullying

is cyber bullying.

Except for the punching
and the bleeding.

And the having to hide
from them in the bathroom.

Well, maybe physical
bullying is worse,

but cyber bullies can't do
anything but bluster.

They don't know you.

And they don't matter.

And by dinner they'll
find something else

to get self-righteous about.

What matters is that
you saved a life.

Sashi knows
you're a good mother.

Yeah.

[sighs]

Okay, nice, easy strokes.

Nice, easy strokes.

[cell phone rings]

Yeah, this is Hank.

Hank, hey, um, I fell,

and I went to take my pulse
to check my heart rate--

Josh, Josh,
you should call a nurse.

They can help faster.

I can't.
I left the hospital.

You what?
Why?

[Josh]
A doctor told me
my blood work was fine,

so I took off.

I went biking, and I must have
passed out again,

because the next thing I know,
I'm on the ground.

Twice in two days.

Where are you?

I don't know.

But wherever I am,
I don't have a pulse.

.

Hey.

Hey, how'd you find me?

Your RaceBand app.

911's on the way.

Let me take a look.

I'm--I'm pretty banged up.

[murmuring]

Ah, see, that hurts.

- What does?
- My arm.

Yeah? Like, over here
by the elbow?

No, no, it's like
it's inside of it.

Huh.

Am I having
a heart attack?

Uh, I don't think so, no.

Well, is it cardiac tamponade
or ventricular fibrillation?

Or aortic dissection?

How do you--

Oh, I was Googling
my symptoms.

There's nothing else to do
except wait here to die.

Turns out everything
leads to death.

Yeah, never Google
your symptoms.

Well, I don't think
it's any of those,

and I don't think it's
constrictive pericarditis.

You know what,
I think it's--

Takayasu's arteritis?

Yeah.
Actually, that may be it.

Let me just check something.

No brachial.

You don't have a pulse
in your left arm,

but the one in your right
seems fine.

Combine that with
the lightheadedness,

joint pain, and shortness
of breath you've had,

and Takayasu's makes sense.

Well, now that I know
how to pronounce it,

what does that mean?

Ah, it's an inflammatory
disorder that can cause

a constriction
of the aortic arch,

such that when you exercise

your vessels can't get
enough blood to your head.

That would--that would
explain why I'm passing out.

Which means as soon as
this ambulance gets here,

you're going back
to the hospital,

and this time
you're gonna stay there

until I tell you
you can leave.

Yeah.

No, no, Josh,
I'm serious.

Well, not in that tri suit
you're not.

[both laugh]

Ah.

[upbeat music]

♪

Your old neighborhood
is pretty chic.

Pssh, not when I lived here.

Nicest place on the block
was a building full of garbage.

Must have been so hard
starting out on your own,

under a mountain full
of student loan debt.

Trying to get
your first job.

Yeah, yeah.

I get why you had to donate
sperm to make ends meet.

Yeah.

Actually, funny story.

I did it for a sandwich.

I'm sorry, a what?

Defonte's.

The best subs
in the world.

Like, my mouth
is watering right now

thinking about the Big Daddy
12-inch with extra pickles.

Ooh!

Anyway, Defonte's
is cash only.

But I didn't have any
that day.

But I needed a Big Daddy,

so I was like,
what am I gonna do?

And then,
there it was.

Right across the street.

I thought it was
the perfect solution.

Until I found out
after I made a donation

that they don't pay you
for the first specimen.

Pfft, you believe that?

You did it
for a sandwich?

[seethes]

What could possibly
be taking this long?

You think I have dozens
of files or something?

That would mean I have
dozens of children.

Or it means
it's been so long

that she can't find
your file.

[sighs]

But if you do
have children out there

and they want
to know their father,

they will be family.

Our family.

Evan R. Lawson.

Shh, hi.

Yep, we're right here.

Where you told us to wait,
remember?

I found your record.

Your sample was definitely
never used.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God!

Definitely?

Yeah, why definitely?

Mmm.

I'd donate my sperm
for this sandwich.

I get why you did
what you did.

Come on, eat.
You'll feel better.

I have no motility.

Not no motility.
Low motility.

Low isn't no.
It's just--

Slow, right?

Slow sperm.

That's right,
I have sluggish, lazy,

lackluster sperm.

I have sperm who roll over
and play dead.

I have unmotivated
loser sperm.

I have loser sperm.

Can you keep it down,
the sperm talk?

This is a family restaurant.

- Of course.
- We're really sorry.

Say whatever you want
about your slow swimmers.

One of them crossed
the channel last week.

That's true.

We were pregnant.

Yeah.

And we don't know why
it didn't last.

Maybe I have
genetic challenges.

You are not
blaming yourself.

No, no,
there's no blame.

Just the facts
of my DNA and yours.

And we're gonna learn
what we can.

Maybe it's gonna be harder
to get pregnant than we thought,

but at least
we'll be informed.

And Hank's a doctor.
He can help us.

No, Paige, we are
not telling my brother

about my sorry
and inadequate sperm, okay?

Yes, you're imperfect.

And I'm imperfect.

And we are gonna try
to have a baby,

which will also
be imperfect.

But when we have
our little baby,

we will be the most perfect
imperfect family.

I can't wait.

I really want to be a pops.

I know.

Eat up, Big Daddy.

You're gonna need
your strength.

[chuckles]

.

So they're gonna put
a mesh tube inside your aorta

to hold it open,

which means you will be
the proud owner

of a stent graft.

While that sounds like
a ton of fun,

I'm gonna have
to miss the race?

Yeah, I'm afraid so.

And while there's no cure
for Takayasu's,

with annual check-ups
you should return to normal.

Which means you'll
make next year's race.

Although by then,
I may be out-swimming you.

Ah.

You know, I am
a pretty good coach.

More than you know.

I have a date tonight,

thanks to your advice.

Nice.

She a fan of Homeland?

She's a fan
of the New York Mets.

MetsFan86.

We are gonna listen to the game
tonight against the Phillies.

Her idea.

- Man, that's old-school.
- Yeah.

Good taste
in baseball teams.

That could be love.

Speaking of which,

how'd it go with Jane?

She's on her way
right now.

Uh, I don't know if I should be
more excited or terrified.

Maybe both.

Eh, that's a good point.

Hey, when she gets here,

you think I should,
like, play it cool

or maybe, uh, open up,
show her I'm vulnerable?

How 'bout you just
be yourself?

Eh.

And if that doesn't work,

maybe get some guitar lessons
and a tattoo.

[chuckles]
Yeah.

Good advice.

Oh.

You're HamptDoc17?

You're MetsFan86?

It's fate.

Yeah.

How are you feeling?

A million times better,
thanks to HamptDoc17.

Imagine if I ended up
with HamptDoc12.

Yeah, I was just thinking
the same thing.

Look, I know I didn't exactly
impress the other night.

I'm sorry

and a little mortified.

And the worst part is
you're a really nice guy.

Can you give me
a second chance?

Yeah.

Sure, I can.

Great.

Nice spread.

Yeah.

My God, what a
beautiful night, huh?

Ah, it is.

So have you always been
a Mets fan or...

Oh, pssh.

No, I don't
really follow baseball.

My roommate told me
to put that in there

'cause she said
I'd get a lot of hits.

Oh.

And here I am.

Shot?

[chuckles]

Yeah, sure.

Whoo!

Yeah, there were some wonderful
candidates in Philadelphia.

I winnowed out
the ones I like less,

but hopefully we can get

the Center for Rare
and Orphan Diseases--

um, the lab fully staffed
by the end of the month.

That's great.

Yes, and with
more manpower,

we'll be able to genetically
engineer new models,

from construct creation
to microinjection,

to evaluation
and characterization.

[cell phone beeps]

Thank you.

I'll be right back.

This is very important,
Sashi.

Because when only
a small population

is afflicted by a disease,
the funding can be limited.

But we'll be able to accelerate
research and development

of new treatments by building
preclinical models,

not only for ourselves
but for global entities as well.

[softly] Come here.
Come here.

What's the matter?

That was my attorney.

Rafa's lawyers, they saw
that video of me online.

They pulled
the custody agreement.

They think they have
a case against me

as an unfit mother.