Original subtitles

Monica, two trimesters down and one to go. I think we all just have one

question. Yes, it's mine.

Nobody cares if you're the daddy. We have presents to buy.

We need to know. Pink or blue? Pink or blue? Go for yellow.

Because we've chosen not to know.

Wait, why not?

Monica. What?

Statistics show that parents feel a deeper personal connection and bond more

easily if they know the baby's gender before birth.

Really? No.

But it sounds legit, huh?

Oh, Monica, quit being so cheap.

You've got that good senior partner PPO. You can tell the sex of the baby and

the IQ all for a $5 copay.

Well, I don't want to be surprised.

Besides, what if they're wrong?

Look. When my mother was pregnant with me, she was told she was having a boy.

And then I popped out.

And it's been downhill for the two of us ever since. So, no, I don't want to

know the sex of the baby.

I am trying to break the curse. Well, I don't need any high -tech futuristic

technology to tell me what I already know.

I mean, I can tell it's a girl by the way you're carrying the baby out hot.

Darnell. Yeah, ma 'am. Your wife don't know Jack.

I happen to know that the baby is going to be one of us.

Oh, man, that's great. That is great!

Well, Darnell, I'm glad you think I mixed a great drink, but you don't have

get so excited about it.

Oh, my bad, my bad.

I just really like the taste of a potent potable.

All right, man, I'm judging from the way you just made me look like a punk that

you don't want anyone to know. No, especially not Monica.

If she finds out I know the sex of the baby, she's gonna gut me like a fish.

you find out the sex of the baby if Monica doesn't know. I asked the doctor.

I've got to know what's what and who's got what.

And my little Willie is packing.

Hey, guys.

Sorry I'm late. I had to stop by the store and pick up food for the party.

So where's the food?

You got me.

To tell you the truth, I totally forgot that I volunteered to host movie night

until I pulled up and saw you guys' cars.

So, what's the movie? What?

Oops. That was on me, too.

Bitch, I'm missing my Pop Chef marathon to watch nothing, to eat nothing.

You owe $10 to the bitch, darling. Bitch, you owe $10. I paid for you last

Oh, and for keeping track, then, you owe me for that little, uh, melee at the

Chinese Donuts, don't you?

If I have to listen to y 'all haggle about that damn jar one more gin, I'm

to need one more gin.

How much money is in that jar?

Eighty dollars.

Oh. Well, that's not that bad. It's our ninth jar.

So, in other words, that jar ain't doing squat.

No. No. And you know why?

Because we've become too dependent on that word. We have lost all of our

creativity. Mm -hmm.

We've just grown lazy.

Uh -huh. We are just phoning it in.

Yeah, Joan, you're right. There was a time when we could verbally crush each

other's spirits without nary a B word.

Oh, good times.

Hey, Jason.

Hey, I just want to stop by and drop off a couple of songs.

Great. Lynn, let me introduce you to the newest artist at Dirty Girl Records.

She's a hip, amazingly hot young artist, and she is Chrisette Michelle,

Chrisette Lynn Searcy, a .k .a. Indigo Sky.

She's a hip, amazingly hot artist.

Ah, you forgot to say young.

Ooh, no, I didn't.

I'm kidding.

I kid. I'm a kidster.

No, I'm terrible at jokes, though. That's why I'm A &R.

Chrisette, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, Lynn.

Oh, I'm going to take this, girls.

You got me, girl.

Yep. Oh, yeah. I'm closing the deal as we speak. Yeah, I'm sitting here at

Spago's with him.

Can someone get another Perrier for Diddy's Park?

You get used to him. Really?

No. At least you get numb to him.

My God.

I can't believe I'm here.

I can't believe I'm looking at a real gold record.

I can't believe I found Phil Fresh off the bus. Although I did just get off the

bus. Well, it was a shuttle, actually.

From LAX.

I'll sit up now.

No. I was excited, too. I mean, I'd never actually seen a paycheck written

to me.

Okay, so, do you think you need to know about this place?

First, always use the bathroom on the executive floor because there's more

one reason.

They call this place Dirty Girl.

I'll just wait till I get home.

Any other tips?

Well, don't let the wait get to you.

Wait? You don't like these thighs, skinny girl.

No, no, no, no. I'm not talking about your weight. I'm talking about the wait

time to get in the studio.

But it'll be worth it. And Dirty Girl works with the best producers. Like

now, I'm on the list to work with Marco and Joe. They're supposed to be the next

Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis.

Well, I heard they're supposed to be the next Pharrell and Chad Hugo.

But either way, I can't wait to get in the studio and start working with them

tomorrow. Now what now? Yeah, they said they wanted to fast track my album.

Girl, pinch me.

Where are you going?

Push some damn buttons.

Look, Ward, I need a table at Spago's with Diddy.

Well, he's in the Rolodex. Check D for Diddy, then P for P. Diddy.

Yep, well, then Pup for Pup Daddy. Look, find it, Ward.

Jason! Yes, Lynn?

I heard that Crescent is working with Marco and Joe tomorrow.

Yeah.

What's that about?

I signed with you way before her. I've been sitting around twiddling my thumbs

for like three months now. I know, hon, but she's on a different track.

Well, how do I get on that track?

Because if it's about waiting for producers, I don't really need them. I

in like 15 tracks that you raved about. Just go out with them.

Well... Well, what?

I mean, you say they're hot. You say, great job, and you go, Sky, what is

Oh, they are hot. They are hot, but it's not a creative issue. It's more of a

timing slash marketing issue.

Okay, well, then let me help you out. It's time to market me. And we will.

When? When we figure out a strategy.

Okay, it's me, it's my music. What's there to figure out?

Lynn, it's delicate, okay?

Well, Jason, you're looking at a world -class bush beater, so don't beat around

my bush.

You know, unless it'll speed things up.

Look, I don't even know if I should be telling you this, but... But what?

Some people around here don't know what to do with you.

What does that mean?

Well, hey, you know me. I'm a straight shooter. I don't see things in black and

white. But some people around here do, and those people don't think you're

enough.

Excuse me, but what do you mean by not black enough?

Well, take Chrisette Michelle.

She looks black.

She sounds black.

And you...

Not so much.

Okay.

What is sounding black?

Okay. You know how you're like, flowers and rainbows and kittens and puppies.

And she's more like, oh, oh, oh, shocker cow.

Oh, my God. This is so insulting.

It's reality.

We just need to find a clear identity for you.

Maybe we darken your photos.

What? Yeah, you wrote some Alicia Keys type songs. Write a song about hair

grease. Do a couple of shocker cons.

And then by your narrow -minded standards, I would be black enough.

Hey, I'm not trying to be offensive, Lynn.

But we just need to be able to market you in order to sell your albums. That's

just the way it goes.

No, that's not the way it goes. Because I'm the same color and I'm doing the

same music I was when you first signed me.

You knew what you were getting?

And since apparently you don't know how to market me, I need to talk to the

president of the label.

Lynn, who do you think this decision came from?

You got me, go.

What'd you find, Ward?

Combs?

Combs. What's his name doing under combs?

$300 a foot?

Uh -huh. Okay, yours the diddy ass has gone berserk.

Oh, really?

Uh -huh.

Well, miss sassy.

Oh, I got nothing.

Have we up and lost our piss?

I know, Maya. What's wrong with us? Are we trying too hard? Have we lost our raw

edge? Oh, girl, I got my raw edge. You're just a stuck -up old... Go with

No, go with it. I just want to say an old bitch. Yes, ma 'am.

You can't.

Well, you know, I look at you. Mm -hmm. And, old bitch, it just feels so right.

Hey.

Hey, y 'all.

Oh, what's with the long face? Some new tragedy?

Yeah. Been listening to Cher's half -breed again?

Oh, wait. I can still limp.

Would you two just shut up?

Nobody wants to hear your hateful crap.

just trying to sharpen up our quippage um lynn what's going on

well according to dirty girl records they won't let me in the studio because

not and i quote black enough and they don't know how to market me that's crazy

okay well newsflash this is america and if you're half a quarter or an eighth

You're black.

Yeah, well, it's been my whole life. I mean, it used to be I had to prove to

black people I'm black enough, and now I got white people asking me why thing

instead of thing.

I'm just sick of people trying to force me to check a box so they have a

category to put me in. And why can't there be a box for none of your damn

business? Why do you want to know?

Uh, well, because all of that won't fit on one line.

Hey, baby!

Hey!

Did you guys have fun?

If you consider getting your asses whooped by some nuns fun, then yeah, we

blast. I'd still say that was a hustle.

That one sister had an Adam's apple.

Oh, speaking of Adam's apples, Maya, we are having a ball.

Thank you. Thank you.

I thought nobody was supposed to know. It's okay if Maya knows. Good, because I

already told her.

I'm so excited I've been telling everybody.

Co -workers and a dry cleaner. That man nun.

You know who I forgot to tell?

Mama!

I'm going to text her right now.

Oh, your mom's in the texting? That's hip.

No, not really.

Her spastic esophagus makes it hard for her to talk at times. So we text.

Well, William, you better be careful who you tell if you know what Monica to

find out.

Oh! Oh, Mama and Monica don't talk.

No, not since that one Thanksgiving when we went quail hunting.

Mama wanted Monica to wear the decoy hat to draw out the quail.

Oh, no!

Oh, no! Undo!

Undo! What's wrong?

I meant to type in Mama, and we were talking about Monica, and I got all

discombobulated, and now I sent the sex of the baby to Monica.

Did she reply?

Not yet.

She's probably too busy whittling a shiv to bury in my stupid skull.

Hey, William, slow down.

You want to give her a better target? No way!

Calm down, okay? She's at the spa with Joan. She probably hasn't even gotten

text yet.

You think?

Okay, William, who are you calling? The spa.

Maybe I can save this.

William, I am in the middle of a facial.

Hush up, woman. I need your help.

Look, I accidentally sent Monica a text telling her the sex of our baby.

I thought you guys didn't know.

I know.

But I know.

And she doesn't know that I know.

But if she knows that I know, and I let her know that I know, well, that's going

to be, you know... A no -no?

No, my funeral, fool!

William, let me get this straight.

You want me to cut my facial short, bust into your wife's massage session, steal

her locker key, break into her locker, and erase your fool message all without

her being the wiser?

Too much.

Oh, no.

Can you hit my spot?

You know how I like it, Jean -Luc.

Mon dieu.

Are you going to rub my earlobes or what?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, that's good.

Oh, yeah. Wait a second. Let me take off this key. Yeah. All right, go ahead.

Oh, that's nice.

I'm sorry.

You're going to have to stop. Something in here smells like my friend Joan's

perfume.

Every time I smell that thing, it makes me want to puke.

Hey, I get lots of compliments on that, missy.

Joan!

Joan, what the hell are you doing in here?

I was wondering what you're doing in my 515 slot.

What? I don't know.

Okay, Joan, does this in any way look like my I'm playing face?

Fine.

William accidentally sent you a text revealing the sex of the baby, and I was

supposed to go in and delete it so that you wouldn't find out.

Where are you going?

To Little Shiz.

Lynn, what are you doing here? I'm here to speak to the president of the label.

Someone won't be down until later, and we've already talked about this. That's

why I need to speak to the president of the label.

Hey, Lynn, I didn't know you were coming down.

Hey.

Just wanted to come down, show some support, you know, see firsthand, well,

secondhand, what it's like to be black in the studio.

Black in the studio? I mean back in the studio.

Hey, Marco, Joe, and Cersei, the one that you don't know what to do with.

Yeah, that's great. I don't care.

Grisette, what you did was so great. Can I run a few thoughts with you?

Just one second. Go on. Do you.

When you hit the measure, can we try to sing it on the upbeat?

Okay, like this.

It's perfect.

It's perfect. That's great. It's very black.

And when we get to the cadence, if you could try to sing in an octave higher.

You got it. It's perfect.

Yeah, bossy.

I don't know. Kind of muddies it up a bit. Those notes were very white. You

might want to pick some black notes.

Okay, you can't say that. Let's go. What? I'm just trying to make sure she's

black enough for you.

You know what, Jason?

I'll handle this.

What the hell is your problem?

What? I'm just trying to help you out. Well, you're disrupting my studio time.

What's going on?

You know what?

Everybody take five.

I cannot do that.

Everybody, let's get out of here. Come on.

Five. Give him a minute.

A minute.

Look, I know you're tripping because I got studio time before you, but that's

not my fault, so take all that somewhere else.

You know what? I was just trying to make a point to Jason.

And what point is that? That you're rude and obnoxious?

I don't have time for this.

Look, okay, all right. I'm sorry that I got you all up in my drama.

It's just that, I mean...

I've been at this label for over three months now, and all of a sudden, I'm not

black enough?

Girl, that's messed up.

But everybody's got something.

Even me.

Yeah, you got studio time.

Oh, listen.

Last night, I saw about a photo shoot,

and they pull out a rack of size twos.

Now, do I look like a size two?

You got a photo shoot?

Yeah, but they photographed me in a man's big and tall shirt.

And.

Could you buy me a day in your life?

When I'm wearing the clothes that you wear.

Could you give me your dimes for a day?

And just for one day, take my place.

See, Mama said that I am beautiful.

Yeah. And I am lovely the way that I am.

But if I am so sweet, oh, I want life. Just give me what you have, what you

have, what you have.

Or could I get away being you for a day? Oh, I wonder if I can.

Put me in a box for a little while. Tomorrow take me out.

Am I already as lovely as you? Are you in my window pane?

Looking back at me saying, here I am.

Girl, you're beautiful.

Listen, the way I see it, we got one of two choices.

We can give up and leave, or we can stay in the game and change the game.

I plan to stay in the game and win.

The game.

Damn.

I guess this is really hard for us black women.

Hold up, girl. You black?

Oh, my God, yes!

Damn, girl, lighten up.

Lighten up.

I don't care who you are. I just want it done. Who are you? Are you new?

I gotta go.

Um, hey, Miss Duncan.

I've been looking for you. My name is Lynn Searcy. I'm one of the musicians.

Yes, Lynn, I know who you are.

Look, I know that you guys have been having problems figuring out a way to

market me because I'm biracial.

And I know that you want me to make some changes.

I get that.

The way I see it is I have two choices.

Stay in the game and move on.

But I'm not 23, so I don't have time to wait around for you to figure out that

I'm good because I'm damn good.

But I need to sing my song for my life.

So I guess the long and short of it is, I'm choosing to move on.

Actually, Lynn, you don't have two choices.

You have one.

And that's to fulfill the terms of the contract you signed with us.

So the long and short of it really is, for the next two years, we own you.

Whether you want to do anything to advance your career, that's on you.

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