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Hey, William.
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Hey, baby.
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Merry Christmas.
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What's this?
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Your Christmas present. And it's exactly
what you want.
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How do you know what I want?
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Because I saw your list.
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That list was for Santa.
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There is no Santa, William.
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Good Lord, woman. Were you raised by the
Grinch and the Bergermeister?
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What ever happened to the happy holiday
woman that planned my Christmas party
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for the senior partners? You got senior
partner? Now she done?
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Well, no, you can't be done.
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We're well into our first -gen family
Christmas.
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We've got traditions to establish.
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Now, I figure we can spend Christmas
here caroling and egg -nogging and
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Santa on the NORAD site.
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That's gonna be a little hard, William,
because your present to me is...
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Christmas in Morocco.
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You bought my present to you?
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Yeah, only after I returned the ones you
had hidden around the house.
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Monica.
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Sweetie, I don't look a gift horse in
the mouth.
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I had that thing off at the pass.
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Okay.
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Girl, seriously, that's like your tenth
batch of cookies.
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All right, that's enough to feed Aaron's
platoon, the Sunnis, and the Shiites.
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Only half of these are for Aaron. The
other half is for my support group.
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Oh, girl, please do not tell me you're
in a 12 -step program with a bunch of
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other Christmas crazies.
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No, it's my support group for families
of service people in Iraq.
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Oh, right, right, right, girl. Yeah, I
remember you mentioning that. How's that
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going? Truth be told, they're kind of a
downer. I mean, they complain.
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A lot.
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Joan, they're away from their loved
ones. I know. You know, they're
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from them. Christmas is a time for
family.
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Shoot, Lord knows I spend the rest of
the year trying to avoid. Darn out,
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all up in your business, all drinking
family.
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But come Christmas time, we're frying up
that turkey.
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We're tight.
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Well, Aaron and I refused to have a
sucky Christmas. We made a decision to
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on the positive.
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Because, you know, we fell in love over
Christmas.
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So we're hanging on to that. And here
comes the wise girl, bearing gifts.
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Hi. Ho, ho, ho.
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Okay, open them.
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Open them, open them.
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Oh, my gosh.
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Forgot to poke holes in the box again?
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You know, Jabari, I still have a
nightmare about that dead parakeet that
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gave me.
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More like herpes.
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Oh, yeah.
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Oh, my God.
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Oh, my God, this really is Hermes.
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Wow, girl.
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I am impressed you have come up.
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You're actually going to open my gift
instead of handing it off to Big Mama
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Sight Unseen.
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It is really pretty.
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So, do you like it?
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trickery you have stuffed in this camera
box.
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Oh, my God.
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The trick is on me.
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It really is a camera.
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Oh, you know how I do.
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That's why I'm standing here in shock
and awe.
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Sweetie, not to question your
generosity, but this scarf isn't going
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the lot of manure, is it?
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No.
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I'm just doing really good this
Christmas, and I want to share with my
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Oh.
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And I am too shade.
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Okay, girl.
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I don't say this stuff to my husband,
okay? But I need a place
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to vent.
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This is my place.
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I need this.
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I need to stay strong. And the only way
I can stay strong is to be able to come
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here and vent.
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So I can say the nice things to him when
he calls.
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I need this.
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I have a hard time praying.
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How am I supposed to be positive, bro,
when my daughter's asking me, when's mom
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coming home? How come mom's fighting
when you teach me not to fight, dad? I'm
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teaching my daughter not to fight and my
wife is fighting. It don't make no
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sense. Well, we can fight differently.
And you can say that to her. I think you
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can say it doesn't make sense.
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There's a lot that we don't have answers
to.
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00:04:36,881 --> 00:04:39,969
And there's no way that we're going to
have them. And I think it's okay to be
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honest with our children. I really would
like to be able to have children.
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Finally find a man and he goes.
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I don't, I mean, I'm not, I'm going to
stay positive.
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He's coming home.
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I finally heard from Trey. You did?
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He's in Anbar.
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It's supposed to be safe for there. I
don't believe anything they say.
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The only place I want Damon is home.
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Like half my heart is gone.
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00:05:03,651 --> 00:05:07,289
Babe, babe, babe! Boy, get your butt
back in the kid's room.
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Babe! If you need a break, you can drop
him off at my house.
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He can wear out that new puppy we got
just before my boyfriend got caught up.
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Hey, can somebody swing by my house and
do my daughter's hair?
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You bring her by. I saw those jacked -up
ponytails.
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00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:24,220
So did everybody else.
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That's how she took her school pictures.
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Oh.
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I couldn't afford to get her hair done.
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Well, how about we talk about it? I have
to have a yard sale just to pay my
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phone bill.
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Eight to four, Saturday, please come.
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Come with what?
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Something to swap? Nobody here got
money.
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I'd come and help out, but I had a
chance to work at Double Shift that day.
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Chase keeps begging me about some crazy
robot toy.
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Have you seen how much those toys cost?
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Toy? My kids are getting fed. Merry
Christmas to them.
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You guys, listen, listen.
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I know, I know this is a hard time for
everyone, but it's Christmas.
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And I just think Christmas is a time
of... Christmas, you know?
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00:06:06,380 --> 00:06:08,550
You know what would be a really great
idea?
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We should have a Christmas party.
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For all of us, and for the kids, you
guys.
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I don't know about that, Joan.
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There's too much going on to spend time
and money on something like that.
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Truthfully, with Damon not here, I just
want to do a little something for Chase
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and just hurry up and get past
Christmas.
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No, listen, you guys, it's Christmas.
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We need to have a party. We could
totally have a potluck and it'll keep
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down. So, come on, you guys, let's see a
show of hands, all right?
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Who wants to be on the decorating
committee?
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Huh?
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No problem. I love decorating.
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So, who wants to be on the food
committee? You? No?
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Anyone?
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No? Well, it's no problem.
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I have a restaurant and I am a cookie
baking fool.
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Well, so that just leaves ice.
139
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Which I can absolutely pick up.
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I'm wrong, but isn't this the ghetto?
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Oh, no. Uh -uh. We got whites on one
side, gays on the other. We are
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gentrified.
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Okay. What are you doing?
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Oh, gosh.
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I'm organizing. Look at you.
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Not only do I have a support group party
to plan, but Mr. Sweetleson called me
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out of the blue and said that the firm's
Christmas parties have been a snooze
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since I left.
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He practically begged me to plan this
year's party.
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Well, it wasn't exactly out of the blue,
Joan.
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What? Well, I was roped into planning it
first.
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I didn't want to do it.
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00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:06,480
So I told Sweetison to talk to you and
lay it on thick.
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Girl, you so desperate for a compliment,
you sign up for anything.
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00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:17,839
Well, really? Do you know that I happen
to love working like a dog for no -pay
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planning parties? So, yeah.
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Joke's on you.
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Yeah, you right, Joan.
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No, I'm jealous and put in my place.
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Anyway, the first party is easy to plan.
This is liquor and more liquor. But the
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porker party?
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They're real talent. I don't know.
They're just so un -Christmassy.
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I'm just hoping this party will cheer
them up. I don't know.
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Take their mind off their money
problems.
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The only thing that takes people's minds
off their money problems.
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It's my name.
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Oh, Joan.
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Cute bag.
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What? Oh, cute bag, girl.
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Where'd you get this?
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I got it on sale at Vardy's.
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It had been $2 ,500, but it was marked
down to $1 ,250.
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Oh, Joan, do they have any more?
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00:09:04,450 --> 00:09:05,790
Well, there were two.
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I got them both.
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I just couldn't decide which color.
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Oh, God. Mary, ho, ho, ho to me.
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00:09:13,030 --> 00:09:17,189
Well, you better not take either of
these bags to the meeting because
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liable to stuff you in it.
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Just a bag like this could actually pay
someone's rent for like two months
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Which gives me an idea
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come up with this old bag auction last
year.
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00:10:27,140 --> 00:10:31,060
I've got a couple of ex -wives who have
fetched at least five bucks.
184
00:11:07,020 --> 00:11:09,070
I donated the bag. Why would I buy it
back?
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00:11:10,980 --> 00:11:12,400
Okay, we'll just move on.
186
00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:17,540
You are not going to be able to resist
this very cute little clutch.
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I'm just trying to save you with the
embarrassment.
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Search by day.
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00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:32,600
Everybody needs a bag, William. Okay,
which means, oh, you didn't piano.
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00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:37,679
Okay, what about this one? This one is
really cute. You know what? This could
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00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:39,360
double as a diaper bag.
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00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:41,360
Oh, oh, Mr. Lee.
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Mr. Lee, this bag is perfect for you
because we all know about your problem.
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00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:51,150
Joan. Why?
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00:12:51,220 --> 00:12:52,600
I have still got to work here.
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such a yapper.
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00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:16,200
Never drinking again.
198
00:14:16,380 --> 00:14:19,270
Well, don't worry, because you won't
have money to drink.
199
00:14:20,420 --> 00:14:21,470
What do you mean?
200
00:14:21,471 --> 00:14:24,059
Joan, I still have friends down at the
law firm, okay?
201
00:14:24,060 --> 00:14:27,159
And they've been blowing up my phone all
morning, tossing out words like
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00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,500
slander, defamation, restraining order.
203
00:14:30,820 --> 00:14:32,700
Girl, if you're going to go in and...
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00:14:45,390 --> 00:14:46,650
Sweetie, not so screechy.
205
00:14:47,130 --> 00:14:49,410
And that's for all time, not just today.
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00:14:50,550 --> 00:14:51,600
Shut up, Maya.
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00:14:51,610 --> 00:14:53,050
Oh, girl.
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00:14:54,150 --> 00:14:59,510
Are you hungover, humiliated, horrified
by your behavior? Yes.
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00:15:00,590 --> 00:15:03,180
That's what you get for acting a fool at
my man's job.
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00:15:03,830 --> 00:15:06,910
But you're going to feel better when you
see what's in my bag.
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00:15:07,310 --> 00:15:08,750
Please tell me it's a shotgun.
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00:15:08,751 --> 00:15:11,889
Girl, if it was, I would have offed you
last night after you mooned everybody
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00:15:11,890 --> 00:15:13,150
and said, bag this.
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00:15:14,860 --> 00:15:18,540
What I do have is a check from the firm
for $25 ,000.
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00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:22,780
What? All you got to do is moon them to
get paid?
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00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:26,840
Well, how come I didn't get a check on
my last day?
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00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:31,390
It's a check for her support group,
Maya, to help them celebrate Christmas.
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00:15:31,420 --> 00:15:33,160
Everybody in the firm contributed.
219
00:15:33,220 --> 00:15:36,020
You guilted them and kind of scared them
into helping.
220
00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:38,780
That is so sweet. You do.
221
00:15:39,660 --> 00:15:41,440
That's so beautiful.
222
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:44,040
And I feel awful.
223
00:15:45,870 --> 00:15:46,920
You got your money.
224
00:15:48,770 --> 00:15:55,249
No, because the truth is, you guys, I'm
probably more like the people at the
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00:15:55,250 --> 00:15:56,630
firm than the support group.
226
00:15:57,670 --> 00:16:02,749
I mean, in some twisted way, me laughing
out at them, I was probably laughing
227
00:16:02,750 --> 00:16:03,800
out at myself.
228
00:16:05,510 --> 00:16:06,560
What?
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00:16:07,010 --> 00:16:10,410
Clarity comes the day after four
martinis. Mm -mm, five.
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00:16:11,190 --> 00:16:12,240
All right, seven.
231
00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:13,980
I heard nine.
232
00:16:23,630 --> 00:16:24,950
I love all things Japanese.
233
00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:28,149
I know exactly where I'm going to put
it. Okay, we'll be very, very careful,
234
00:16:28,150 --> 00:16:32,180
Lynn, okay? And read the instructions
because bonsais are very, very delicate.
235
00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:33,300
And expensive.
236
00:16:33,301 --> 00:16:38,549
Well, since we're exchanging gifts, I
actually have a couple more things I
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00:16:38,550 --> 00:16:39,249
to give you guys.
238
00:16:39,250 --> 00:16:42,090
Oh, well, Lynn, you've already given us
the camera.
239
00:16:42,370 --> 00:16:43,710
Yeah, so we done.
240
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:47,529
Oh, no, well, these are just a couple
more things that I thought you guys
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00:16:47,530 --> 00:16:49,929
like. You don't have to open them. You
can just put them under the tree. Okay,
242
00:16:49,930 --> 00:16:51,370
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
243
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,480
You know, her, uh... Maya!
244
00:16:56,980 --> 00:16:58,160
All of your other gifts.
245
00:16:58,161 --> 00:17:02,359
There you go, Cindy. Oh, my God. Yeah,
that's all for you. Lynn, Lynn, could
246
00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:07,359
excuse us for a second? We forgot to put
out the eggnog. Oh, well, none for me.
247
00:17:07,380 --> 00:17:08,430
I don't eat eggs.
248
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,470
Then we'll give you a double shot of
nod.
249
00:17:10,471 --> 00:17:14,818
Maya, why are you giving her all our
presents? Because I'm invested in the
250
00:17:14,819 --> 00:17:17,589
dynamic of Lynn being the loser. Every
group has a loser.
251
00:17:18,060 --> 00:17:20,040
And if Lynn's the winner, you know what?
252
00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:21,940
I'm next to mine as loser.
253
00:17:24,589 --> 00:17:26,150
and step up and claim the crown.
254
00:18:16,951 --> 00:18:19,129
But you were right, Joe.
255
00:18:19,130 --> 00:18:20,750
This was really good for the kids.
256
00:18:21,010 --> 00:18:25,590
Yeah, this was good for all of us. I'm
so glad you guys are enjoying it.
257
00:18:25,591 --> 00:18:28,989
Bill can't get over that check from the
rocker. I mean, I don't know how they
258
00:18:28,990 --> 00:18:33,669
found us, but God bless them. Well, you
know, sometimes we think we're alone in
259
00:18:33,670 --> 00:18:35,590
this, but people are thinking about us.
260
00:18:36,210 --> 00:18:38,210
Mom, come on in. Let's go see my toy
truck.
261
00:18:38,630 --> 00:18:39,680
Okay, baby.
262
00:18:40,930 --> 00:18:41,980
Oh, gosh.
263
00:18:42,390 --> 00:18:43,440
You know,
264
00:18:43,850 --> 00:18:47,190
I go with that law firm, and I know
someone who used to work there.
265
00:18:51,310 --> 00:18:52,750
Really? That's interesting.
266
00:18:54,790 --> 00:18:56,470
Maybe I should help with that food.
267
00:18:57,990 --> 00:18:59,040
That's a good idea.
268
00:19:14,170 --> 00:19:15,370
Well, well, well.
269
00:19:16,150 --> 00:19:17,830
If it isn't my little antichrist.
270
00:19:18,590 --> 00:19:20,090
Don't be so dramatic, William.
271
00:19:20,310 --> 00:19:21,570
I'm not being dramatic.
272
00:19:22,350 --> 00:19:23,590
I just love Christmas.
273
00:19:25,090 --> 00:19:27,570
Mom always made it seem so special and
magical.
274
00:19:28,610 --> 00:19:30,720
Even though Dad said it was a bunch of
bunk.
275
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:34,870
But I swore when I had my own family, I
wouldn't be like him.
276
00:19:35,650 --> 00:19:38,120
And I would celebrate every moment of
Christmas.
277
00:19:39,250 --> 00:19:41,070
And I want my family to join me.
278
00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:43,420
Especially now that we have a baby
coming.
279
00:19:43,810 --> 00:19:44,860
Hurry, William.
280
00:19:44,861 --> 00:19:49,019
have a lot of Christmas traditions
growing up.
281
00:19:49,020 --> 00:19:53,320
We were always skiing in Switzerland or
scuba diving the Caribbean.
282
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,000
Christmas was just a day to tip the
help.
283
00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:03,280
Okay, okay, William, I am gonna try for
us. Yes? For the dance! For the dance?
284
00:20:03,460 --> 00:20:04,510
Yes!
285
00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:05,680
So what can I do?
286
00:20:05,681 --> 00:20:08,019
Can you name all the Santa's reindeer?
287
00:20:08,020 --> 00:20:09,070
Hell no.
288
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:11,640
Can you bake a Dickensian plum pudding?
289
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:13,090
Negro, please.
290
00:20:15,050 --> 00:20:16,790
I suppose you have a Mrs. Claus suit.
291
00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:21,530
I do have a red thong with fake fur.
292
00:20:22,790 --> 00:20:24,830
Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas.
293
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:29,430
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