Original subtitles

Lynn, I know, sweetie, that I haven't been the best landlord, but you have

such great care of my house, so I wanted to bring you this housewarming gift

early so that you could display it at your housewarming get -together.

Oh, Joan,

you don't need to give me anything.

I mean, come on, you're renting me this house at a reduced rate. You paid for my

new paint job.

No, I didn't.

Actually, your insurance did. What?

It's just a little fire. Lynch!

No talking while I'm opening.

Okay.

You blew me soap

bubbles and froze them?

Oh, it's a sculpture.

It's called Friendship. Isn't that perfect? It's perfect.

Perfect.

OK. You got me, Joan.

God.

You got me.

You got me a wonderful gift.

Marmaduke, when will you ever learn?

Reading the comics?

No, politics.

Senator Bill Marmaduke reintroduced that crazy wetlands bill of his.

Will you ever learn?

Oh, my God, William.

The Blankenship merger made the front page of the business section.

Really? Let me see.

Wow, this is great.

I really worked my butt off on this merger.

I know you did.

That's why it would have been nice.

if they mention your name once or twice. I'm sure it's in here somewhere.

Nope. Goldberg's name's all up and through this piece, but you're not here

anywhere. No, no, right there.

Goldberg says our whole team really came through on this one. Whole team. No,

William. You should have gotten credit.

You made this murder happen.

Well, that's just how these things go.

No, you know, I have half a mind to call my contacts at the paper and set this

straight. Hey, maybe you should call someone at Tipped Off Wives of

Black Lawyers weekly.

How about I call to stop mocking me or you ain't getting none daily?

You're saying if I stop mocking you, I can get some daily?

Look, you're making too big of a thing out of this.

Everybody at the firm knows what I did.

I'm all about the back ends and the bonuses.

You let this go.

No, William.

You said Sweetelson wasn't even involved in his picture. It's front and center

between Goldberg and Blankenship. You should have been in this picture.

Well, maybe it would have been if I didn't have to pull the car around.

My, isn't it a little early in the morning to be spying on the neighbors?

I'm not spying. I'm neighborhood watching.

Look, I know it's a little hard since they canceled the book deal.

I mean, but you got to find something else to do besides look out that window.

Darnell, please. I am doing important work here. I am the eyes and ears of all

things West Adam.

No. What is this hot mess chasing up my wall?

Look at that.

Oh, she lived down the street.

Oh, I know where she lived. Because I saw her doing her whole stroll, getting

out of some pimped -out caddy in the wee hours of the morn.

What were you doing up at the wee hours of the morn?

Coming back from the Baptist Women's Pole Dance and Retreat.

Nicole Weathers, your neighbor.

Hey, how you doing? I'm Darnell Wilkes. Nice to meet you. Come on in.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Darnell!

Oh. Are you dressed for company?

Oh. Come on in.

And you are Maya Wilkes. Oh, hell yes, girl.

I would know you anywhere. I'm your biggest fan.

Oh, Darnell, don't be so rude.

Come on in.

Uh, me, Kosta Esu, biggest fan, Kosta.

Um, can I get you some juice of some kind? Oh, no, no, girl. I'm fine. But I

loved your book.

Book.

I wrote two.

Yeah, see, the publisher did a real good job of keeping that second one a

secret. Oh, well, if there's a second book, I gotta get it. What's the name of

it? Now what now?

Now what now? Now what now?

I told you that title was a little confusing.

Listen, I don't mean to bother y 'all. I just came by on behalf of the

Neighborhood Association. You know, we all like to do our part around here to

pitch in and better the neighborhoods.

So. We would love it if you would contribute a column to our monthly

I mean, girl, it would be such a coup to have a world -famous authoress

contribute. I don't know about world -famous.

Although, oh, hell yes, was translated into Mandarin.

And it is my understanding that Ma Wan Di sold quite well along the Shandong

province.

Oh, well, listen.

Say, you'll think about it, and here's my number.

Fine, I'll have to talk to my agent.

You know, make sure that I'm not violating my exclusivity clause.

So, um, we'll let you know.

Okay, great. Well, let me know soon, because we go to print on Friday.

Pleasure meeting you.

Hi.

Okay, what the hell was that about? What?

You don't even have an agent. Okay, well, Darnell, I'm not going to let my

biggest fan know I'm on the skids.

Plus, I don't even have time to write for their little newsletter.

I think it's a good idea. It'll be good for you to start writing again. Darnell,

I have nothing left to write about, okay?

The world took everything I had to offer and then threw it out like... Like...

See? I'm all out of simile.

I'm all dried up.

I'm as dry as William Asheny.

As dry as your scalp when I forget to hit it with some grease.

It's dry as junk stuff and Aaron's been gone.

All right, people, let the party begin.

And by party, of course, I mean devising a legal strategy for the foster case.

Very good joke, Charles.

So the foster case, what have we got?

Well, I think the best course of action is to advise the client to feign low

salience. Play a little rope -a -dope.

Let them tire themselves out until they give up and go away.

Very good idea, clerk.

No, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. There's still the option to

petition to court how the lead bank in the consortium declared a co -defendant.

Look, William, the banks are looking for a fall guy.

You think?

I'm just saying, let's make our client a hard target, and they'll go pick on

somebody else. What you're doing is legal, but it's underhanded.

It's like a 60 -year -old man going out with an 18 -year -old girl. Sure, she's

of age.

I think we can all agree it's a little... Choose your words carefully,

No, I wasn't meaning to. No, that's okay.

My girlfriend's 42.

Just thought I'd yank your chain.

Very good yank, Charles.

Come on, William.

We're in this to win it. I'm in it to win it, too.

If those bastards at the bank want to play rough, let's show them we can play

just as rough. It's not about playing rough. It's about playing smart.

Stop acting like such a boy scout. Look, having the bank declare to co

-defendant disperses liability and it limits our client's exposure.

And I'm not a boy scout.

I'm an Eagle Scout.

Get it right.

Whoa, William, back off.

No need to get so aggressive.

Sorry about that. I guess I got a little too passionate.

Excuse the tone.

Speaking of passionate, my other girlfriend is 18.

Bow chicka bow bow.

Where's friendship?

Oh, well, it's all around, Joe.

Hey, don't forget. Did everybody try the hummus?

Um, no, I mean friendship the sculpture I gave you.

Oh.

Well, in the spirit of friendship, I passed it on to Maya.

Oh.

And in the spirit of, oh, hell no, I passed it on to Monica.

And in the spirit of, girl, you funny.

I'm giving this piece of crap back.

Lynn?

You don't like this sculpture?

They didn't like it either.

Yeah, but I didn't get it for them. I got it for you.

Well, it's not my taste.

Well, fine.

I mean, you should have said so.

You don't have to pawn it off.

Pawn? I can't even give this thing away.

ended up in such different places than we might have even thought a few years

ago, you know?

I mean, Lynn's a musical sensation and has her own place.

Joan finally has a man and is holding it down while he's in Iraq.

You know, and William and Monica finally married and have a beautiful, beautiful

baby on the way. And my baby has his garage back.

And then there's me.

Famous authoress.

Toast to Beijing.

Reduced to sitting on my ass, writing a column for my neighborhood newsletter.

Now what now, West Adams?

But, you know, who cares? Who cares? My ambitions and career dreams have just

crashed and burned.

I'm okay about that.

It's good.

Everything's fine. I'm sorry, where were we? Yes, to Lynn!

To Lynn.

Yeah, to Lynn. To Lynn.

So has anything happened to anybody else that my man missed?

Well, an interesting thing happened to William at work the other day. Good

morning.

Okay.

Look, I'm arguing a point with one of the partners on how best to advise one

our clients.

And I'm kind of passionate, you know, about my position.

And then one of the partners tells me to back off because I'm too aggressive.

Is that what he said, aggressive?

Yeah, I was arguing my point no differently than the other lawyer.

Damn. See, they're scared of you because you're a black man.

I don't know who he meant.

Maybe it was just a slip of the tongue.

He might have meant to say passionate instead of aggressive.

Yeah. I know some people do that sometimes, you know.

Yeah, they say one thing, like, thank you for the gift, when they actually

the exact opposite.

Well, how do you know that wasn't the first incident?

Just the other day, you didn't get any credit for a murder. You spearheaded it.

And it's just one thing after another.

Like we sit up there in that conference room, and someone tells a joke, and

Marsha yucks it up like she's on Hee Haw.

And I say something truly hilarious, because you all know I can generate a

guffaw.

And she just gives me the scared white woman look, like I don't understand your

urban sense of humor.

You urban?

Exactly.

I'm Urbane.

See right there, that's why you're not urban.

I don't know, man. You play the game, you climb the ladder, and then this

happens. That's because you need to go back in there and stand up for yourself.

Otherwise, they're not going to respect you, William. And they will continue to

take your contributions for granted.

And say what?

I'm going to come in there five days after the fact, I'm going to look like

oversensitive black guy with a chip on his shoulder.

Either that or a petty teenage girl.

But it's like whatever.

I feel you, William.

A couple weeks back I had a customer come in and compliment me on how honest

was. And I know he meant to say for a black man.

He could have meant for a mechanic.

I know what he meant, Lynn, and so do you. We've all been there.

I used to be an important author.

And you think you were put to die because you're black?

What?

I'm about to leave.

Okay, sweetie.

Have a good one.

Oh, and Monica.

I'm going to take your advice and stand up for myself today at work.

William! Good!

Oh, better than good.

I'm going to quit.

What do you mean you're going to quit?

Well, I was thinking about what you said.

About standing up for myself.

And I played it out in my head.

I go in there and I say, hey, you know what? The other day when you called me

aggressive, I found that offensive.

You wouldn't have said that to a white lawyer.

And they'll go, oh, William, you're being oversensitive.

And I'll say, no, I'm not being oversensitive. And frankly, I resent you

dismissing my thoughts so offhandedly.

And then they'll go, oh, he's going to hit me.

And then I'll go, Dent, you're fired.

I really don't think that's likely, William. My point is, no matter what I

the situation's not going to change.

I'm never going to be heard over at their table.

I need my own table.

I'm going to start my own farm.

But you quit once before, William.

And your only client was an organ grinder with a monkey you had to meet at

lunch counter.

Well, a lot has changed since then.

The lunch counter's gone.

That monkey's dead.

Being your partner now, coming off a big case?

I've got clients that are going to follow me.

Look, if I'm going to do this, now's the time.

You're also going to be a father.

Yeah, well, I want my son or daughter to know that he or she has a father that's

going to stand up for himself.

If I don't do this now, then when?

I don't know.

I just... I just don't want to stand by and watch you become Will Smith in

pursuit of happiness.

If I do, are you going to leave me? Of course not.

I'd kill myself from the shame.

Thank goodness. For a minute there, I thought you were going to leave me.

Oh, my God.

Joan!

You did not have to get me a new gift.

I didn't. It's the same one.

I just rewrapped it. And you're going to keep it and display it proudly.

Because that's the right thing to do. We display the crappy gifts that our

friends give us. Like that stupid fertility statue that you gave me. I

thing out for years.

Dumb thing didn't even work.

Wait a minute, Joan. You haven't even been trying to get pregnant. You don't

know that.

Okay, you know what, Joan?

You're right.

Obviously, you went through a lot of trouble to get me this present.

And you wrapped it so beautifully.

As a matter of fact, it's so beautiful.

I'm going to display it just like that.

Y 'all party?

They always stir up some mess.

Monica, what happened?

William is quitting his job.

I just wanted him to stand up, not walk out.

Monica, I'm sure it's going to be fine.

I mean, William wouldn't do something like that if he hadn't thought it

Seriously, you have such a good man, okay?

Believe in him.

Cry every time Darnell went off half -cocked and quit his job to pursue some

crazy -ass dreams?

No, actually, I'm pretty sure you did cry. Yeah, that's how I remember it.

All right, have a seat.

I guess I'm just scared because we have a baby coming.

And I don't have a safety net anymore, so if my mother cut me off... And I

that maybe after all those years I spent being materialistic and only caring

about getting ahead, that maybe the universe is going to teach me a lesson

William's expense.

Or maybe the universe wants William to quit so he can find something better for

both of you.

Monica, you do have a safety net.

William is your safety net now.

And Lynn, if you are going to display this gift I gave you, then the least

that you can do is put it someplace where everyone can

see it.

Oh, no friendship soap bubbles.

Hey, we're about to get started here. I just want to tell you I love you.

And I will support you on whatever you decide to do.

And if you end up living in the men's room like Will Smith, I'll be there in

ladies' room right next door.

Don't worry, I'm sure we can find a unisex bathroom so we can be together.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Okay, people, let's get the party started.

And by party, I mean, of course, resolving our strategic impasse

foster case.

Very good joke, Charles.

So, the foster case, where are we?

Well, I still feel... I'd like to make an important statement to begin with, if

I may.

Uh -oh.

Back up.

Dent's gonna bring it.

Bring it.

Love it, Clark.

Look, there's times in life when one's gotta make a decision.

And making a decision can be rough.

It'd be nice if that decision could be all about oneself.

But sometimes there's others that we're responsible for whose, uh... whose

interests have to be placed first.

I'm talking, of course, about our clients whose interests we represent.

And as uncomfortable as it may make me, I do believe that Clark's approach would

best serve those interests.

William, it's very big of you.

And very articulate.

Very good decision, William.

No, Marsha, I wouldn't say that was good.

I'm pretty sure that it's right.

So then, we'll go with Clark's approach.

Okay, then next up, Marsha, where do we stand on the Kozak matter?

The deposition is... Maya!

What the hell?

So, you read my first installment of that what now, West Adam?

Oh, this is nothing but tawdry gossip and innuendo about the neighborhood.

So you got what I was going for.

You called my house a crack house. No, no, no.

Looking house.

You practically called me a crack hoe. No, no, no. I said in those gardening

shorts with that powdered donut mouth, you gave the appearance of a crack -ish

looking hoe.

Where's Maya Wilkes? She's about to catch a beatdown for all this libel

spreading.