Original subtitles

Monica, I thought the gardeners were supposed to come today.

Monica?

Oh, come on, that hide -and -seek again.

Last time I nearly pulled a hammy trying to unwedge you out of the hamper.

Monica!

Pooh Bear?

No Pooh Bear, eh?

Sookie. Sookie now.

Ah,

at last we meet.

Me old friend.

Ah, football.

Me even older friend.

And beer.

Me even colder friend.

Surprise!

Please tell me you're holding a large pizza.

Naked. No.

I'm pregnant.

We're having a baby, baby.

I know, baby. I was speechless, too.

Yeah, Negro ain't nobody that speechless.

Hey, can we do this whole wonderful thing maybe tomorrow?

I just think I need one more day in my underwear. You know, I think.

Please don't be mad.

I'm not mad, William. No.

You take your time. Because it's a whole lot to take in, you know, today and my

skivvies, but tomorrow.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

night, sweetie.

Which is why I didn't call.

You know, I don't want to be rude, act like I ain't got no kind of home

training.

Girl, let's have some vino.

I'd love to. If it wasn't half past, go home to your husband.

Maya, come on. I'm tired.

And I'm thirsty.

So let's twist open a bottle of this stuff that you claim is good wine.

Maya, what's going on? What?

Girl, please.

all this late night crazy?

I'm pushing pause for a minute, you know?

Just hanging with my girl, having some wine.

Before Darnell realizes I'm AWOL from Miscarriage Central.

Maya. What?

Well, that's how it feels.

Sometimes, you know, the prayer circles, the condolence cards, the never -ending

phone calls from my mama, my big mama, Darnell's big mama, everybody's big

Sweetie, you should have called me.

Fine, you know, I got some air, took a walk, got to see all the scared white

folk pulling down their shades.

You know, gentrification at its finest.

Well, next time you need to get out of the house, you should come here first.

I'll make some tea and we can talk.

That's the point, John.

I'm tired of talking.

I'm fine. I'm okay.

I'm over losing a baby.

Losing a baby isn't something you just get over.

How would you know, Joan?

Have you ever lost a baby?

I have.

I know.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm just tired of having to act how everybody thinks a grieving mother is

supposed to act.

You know, like there's some script that dictates what I'm supposed to say.

I don't know, girl. I just don't know when it's okay to move on.

Everybody else seems to be so stuck in this thing.

But, you know, I knew I had fibroids. I knew the pregnancy was a risk, you know?

Maybe I just prepared myself for something because I'm okay.

I'm fine. You know, what I'm not fine about is the fact that I... Just say it,

Maya. What?

What? Maya, come on. Just say it, sweetie.

I know this isn't PC.

But the real is, I actually feel worse about losing the book

deal than I do losing the baby.

Now wait.

Before you judge, girl, I birthed those books.

Now it's all over.

And I miss my career.

Okay. Go ahead.

Now judge.

Come on, I don't judge.

Much.

Anymore. Well, certainly not out loud.

Monica?

Have you been calling me?

Because I can't hear anything up here in the guest bedroom that I hope I can

come out of.

Soon.

Shouldn't you be enjoying your last day of not being a father?

No.

Because now I've had time to process all the information, and I'm so happy.

We're having a baby.

I'm having a baby, William. I'm having a baby. Monica, I'm sorry about the way I

reacted. It was stupid.

But I was deep in the man cave, watching TV, drinking beer in my boxer shorts.

But now I'm back.

And I'm so happy. We're having a baby.

You're just saying that because you think that's what you're supposed to

But that is what I'm supposed to say. I was just too stupid to say it when I was

supposed to say it. No, you're not supposed to say anything except how you

really feel.

And by your reaction, I know how you really feel.

And so will my unborn fatherless child.

So you're just going to keep hanging on to what I did?

You know how I do.

Lynn!

claim she's half Filipina?

No. She's in denial about the baby.

What? The baby? Lynn, will you please turn that music down?

I can't. Rico needs it for inspiration.

Who the hell is Rico?

You remember Rico?

My stylist buddy. Remember last year he did me up in pink for that 5K for breast

cancer I ran?

Anyway, this time Rico's doing me up in blue.

Like a moth to a flame, I have to ask.

Why?

I just woke up with this craving for blueberry pancakes, and then it just

of snowballed. And then I thought, hello, my name is Indigo Sky. I should

blue.

I'm scared because I actually followed that train of thought to Linville.

So what's up with Maya?

I just saw her yesterday, and she said she was fine.

Hello. She was practically screaming, I'm in pain, help me.

She said she's over losing the baby.

Uh, well, here's a thought. Maybe she's over losing the baby.

Sometimes the way people act and what they say isn't what they really feel.

You have to dig a little deeper. And sometimes you have to let people deal

things their own way.

If she needs this, she'll come to us. No!

Maya needs an emotional enema.

We should take her shopping.

What? It's a form of therapy. Tony taught it to me back in the 80s, and

Saturday I was unblocked with a fly new pair of shoes and a whole array of

really cool parachute pants.

Joan, parachute pants were never cool.

Shut up, Lynn. I'm going to pick you up in about an hour.

Oh, I can't. This is really important. Why not?

Because Rico's whip -stitching my ass.

Maya, isn't this place cute? Everything's vintage. Yesterday, I got

YSL Reeve Gauche blouse made of polished black cotton with ruffles and ruching.

Oh, my God!

Joe, why are you all up in here speaking in tongues?

Maya, come on.

Relax.

Spend. It's a good release.

Joe.

Rina! Hi!

I was going to call you. We just got in a beautifully constructed midnight

chiffon dress.

Perfect on you. Oh, my God, I need to try it on. And these, too. Great, I'll

a room started for you. Thank you. Nothing yet?

Just looking.

Oh, a looker.

Hey, Rina, this one, too. Oh, great. Thank you. Isn't she just the sweetest

little sweetie?

What's your damn year paying her a mortgage buying all these damn youth

Maya, this will be fabulous on you.

Yeah, I mean, it's cute, I guess. Cute?

Maya, it's vintage Gucci inspired.

I don't know, my girl.

$500. I'm inspired to slap you, silly. And it could stay right here in this

store, okay?

Girl, you know, I can't afford that. I don't have a career, remember?

No, but... I'm gonna look at this color on you.

I'm gonna get it for you. It's gonna make you feel better.

Oh, really?

About what? About my book?

Because the only thing that'll make me feel better is for my ex -publisher to

hit by a runaway bookmobile that I'm driving.

No, Maya, not about your book. About other things.

I told you I'm fine about other things.

I know.

But if you're not fine about other things and you want to talk about...

things, then Rina and I are here and we can get your dressing room started.

Will you please stop trying to stir things up?

I'm just trying to help. I told you I don't need your help. That's it, Maya.

mad. Get a dress. It's called retail therapy. You're just in serious denial

about the PB.

And I just want you to comfort yourself by...

By buying a damn shirt and supporting a black -owned business. Okay.

Excuse me?

Everything I patronize is owned by Magic Johnson.

Especially if you buy something for Ronnie Salon. So I don't need some

-ass therapy techniques, okay? So leave it alone. I told you.

I'm fine.

Fine, Maya. Be fine. But I know why we're here. And I believe in the value

retail therapy.

So if you're not going to shop and heal, then I'm going to shop and heal for

you. Because I know there's some stuff here that you need.

Why are you up in here acting all supermarket sweet?

Because I believe that culottes are coming back. And, girl, you're made for

culotte. Honey, don't nobody want no damn culotte. Listen, I don't want

anything, okay? That's because you're in denial, Maya, okay? You're stuck

emotionally. You don't know what you want. You don't know how to release it.

Ooh, you would look so Ola Ray and Thriller in this.

Okay, Jeanette, let's go.

No, I don't want to go, okay? We haven't done the tip end of this rack.

Okay, it's fine if you don't stay, but I'm going. Do the car keys. I'm going to

go. No, I can't be up in here anymore.

Ooh, Vera Wang!

Jackpot, baby!

What the hell?

Why are you walking around with the stuffing still in your bag unless you're

in here trying to...

Helicopter

crash in Baghdad.

Four soldiers die in Iraqi attack.

Joan.

Hello?

I'm down at this little store in Ventura. We got a code six.

Your credit card was declined?

No, that's a code eight. I said code six, distressed shopper.

Oh, God. Joan said you were in denial. Are you okay?

Oh, honey, I'm not the one in denial, okay?

Joan is. What happened?

Okay, listen.

Joan's been walking around with a vintage bag full of newspaper clippings

Iraq, all right? Like she's some Baghdad bag lady.

Now she's holed up in the dressing room trying to stuff her ass into couture

pants two sizes too small, mumbling something about Aaron, a military vet.

I need you to get down here real quick. Bring the smelling salts so we can wake

her up after we knock her out and drag her ass to the car.

But I'm blue.

Fuck your bipolar mood swings, okay? We have a serious case of crazy to reckon

with. Okay? Okay.

Mmm.

Something smells good.

What's cooking, good -looking?

Oh, my $1 ,700 touchscreen universal remote.

Tasty.

Look, Monica, I'm sorry.

No, William, is this what it's going to be like?

Like the wedding? I think we're good, and I find out you're on a different

Now, you said you wanted children.

I do. Then why don't you react that way?

My reaction was all about me.

I was being a jerk, and I'm scared about being a dad.

You know, I guess you could say that I was kind of a jerk chicken.

Look, I have all these thoughts going through my head. Am I ready to be a

father?

Is this really a surprise?

And then... No, no, no. Wait a minute. Back up.

What do you mean, is this really a surprise?

Monica, you know I love you, but come on.

With you, nothing just happens.

Like we just happen to meet.

Then your whole plan for me to become senior partner.

And then surprise!

You're pregnant after we planned to wait a year? Well, your penis didn't decide

to wait a year.

You know, little Willie never pays me no never mind.

Monica, come on. It was just a fleeting thought.

You know how you always go to the truck thing with me while I occasionally

revisit how you swoop down on me like a bird of prey.

We got a lot to work out. So what?

I figure we have a lot of time to do it.

Till death do us part.

I love you, baby, and I can't wait to see you all pregnant and glowing.

mad at you.

I always dreamed about how I would tell you I was pregnant and you ruined it.

Now every time I tell that story, it paints it.

Well, nobody else knows, right?

So every time we tell someone, you can relive your special moment.

Okay. So let's tell somebody.

What should we tell?

We can tell Mama, right?

Mama will never let us down.

Guess what? We're pregnant.

Me and Monica.

What? What did she say? What did she say? Oh, Mama, don't cry.

She's crying.

No. No, no, wait.

Mama's dog, Fluffy, just died.

But... Oh, sweetie, I should really be with Mama.

That's it. Let it all out. I'm here.

Maya, I'm here. Where is she? She's over here.

No, wait a minute.

What the hell?

You know what? Never mind. Come on.

No.

What the hell?

Excuse me, ma 'am, you can't come in here.

Why not?

Because you're a blue weirdo.

Oh, I see.

So if I was a white weirdo, would you let me in?

Something to think about, huh?

Listen,

she's in a very, very fragile state. We have to be calm.

Okay, then... I got it, I got it.

Easy, okay?

Joan, sweetie, it's Nan.

the crack of Latin.

Maya says you have hundreds of newspaper clippings and emails from Aaron in your

purse. And? And bitch, that's crazy.

Sweetie, I think we need to talk about Aaron and how you're doing.

That's funny.

See, she's cracking up.

Aaron's gone and so is her mind.

Just play along like we're eating a joke.

It's like college you want to watch.

What is so funny? You tell us.

I'm laughing because now y 'all want to talk about Aaron. That is funny.

We want to talk because we're worried about you.

I don't think you're dealing with Aaron and how you're feeling.

Which is why you're shopping like this. I'm not dealing with it. I deal with it

every day. You guys don't deal with it. You never even ask about Aaron. He left,

and you never bring him up.

Joan, that's not true. We talk about Aaron all the time.

No. No, you don't. You make joke.

about how I send too many care packages or about how his head is so shiny that

he could guide ships through fog.

Is that one of yours?

Well, to be fair, Darnell came up with that. I mean, I... You guys don't even

ask how he's doing.

How I'm doing.

Maya, you said you're tired of the grieving mother script. I wish I was

a script. I just wish that somebody would give a damn about me.

Joan, we don't... Talk about him because we don't want to remind you that he's

over there.

And Joan, sweetie, I just don't know what to say.

Say anything.

Blue, too.

But we're going to get through this.

What about you, Maya?

What about me?

Well, what have you been holding in?

Because I've got another shoulder primed and ready.

Yeah, Maya, you should release.

Listen, I've told you, okay? I'm fine about the baby, all right?

Maya will accept to spell it out.

Hello? Really?

Oh, my God.

Monica and William are having a baby.

Oh, no.

That bitch stole my baby!

Oh, your mom... cared about was her damn dog.

Hey, your father didn't even know who the hell we were.

And what's with Joe, Mai, and Lynn?

You know how they are sometimes.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0