Original subtitles

That was your last clue.

Okay, um, Michael Jackson.

Okay, he's from Gary, Indiana.

Gary, Indiana.

The town that knew me when. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the music man.

Oh, damn, you got it. Well played, my lady.

How you doing?

What are you guys doing?

Oh, nothing.

Just having a little fun.

Are you playing Name That Musical again? I'm playing. I don't know what

William's doing.

Oh.

In that case, you're going down.

Oh, really?

I'm sorry I missed it. I've been working on some.

I've come up with a few I think can stump you.

Really? Why?

You and Joan are always having fun, so why can't I be fun, too?

Oh, baby, you don't have to be Joan fun.

Yeah. You're smart, sophisticated, and beautiful.

Wait, what?

Yo, Mama.

I'm thinking about renaming it, Oh, Hell No, Don't You Dare Have a Teenager.

What's going on with Jabari? Oh, he's getting on my damn nerve.

At this point, I don't even know if I want to have another baby.

Oh, wait, Lord, I didn't mean that. Just don't let my next baby turn out to be a

back -talking teenager.

Or a beggar like Lynn.

Maya, why are you taking some random gratuitous hit on Lynn? Because she's

there begging on the street.

All right, I can already tell this is going to hold me up.

Keep me from getting the chilies.

Hey. Hey.

What are you doing?

I'm singing.

How long have you been out here?

A couple hours.

Lynn, this is insane.

Do you even have a permit?

This is not insane. I'm working on my music.

Lynn, how is singing on the street?

Possibly helping your music career.

Hey, Tracy Chapman was discovered on the street doing exactly the same thing.

Sweetie, that was one person. And she had a fast car. What you got?

I got three new chords and a voice.

I'm just looking for some audience feedback.

How's this for feedback?

You look like a homeless guitar -storming fool.

You know what? That's it. Come on. Come on, come on. No, mine yet? What are you?

Are you sitting in gum?

I mean, that was just crazy.

Okay, what's crazy is y 'all hogging up my box seat.

Now, either lay down some cash or step back to the mezzanine. Thank you.

Goodbye, Lynn. Whatever.

Get up, William.

Hmm? What?

Monica, what are you doing? I thought we could sneak in a quick hula hoop

contest before we open.

Why? Because it's fun.

Why? Because I'm a fun girl who wants to have fun with a fun man. Now, get the

hell up.

Monica, I... I've got to go back to work. Oh, are you scared?

I am starting to get a little scared.

You should be scared, because I was the next queen in boarding school.

Okay,

okay. That was a long time ago, but I still got the hips.

I know I can do the ankles.

Let me take off these heels. Monica, stop, stop, stop, stop. Look, look,

I have got to go back to work.

And you've got to lay off the coffee.

Oh, oh, oh.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, Len.

Hi. So?

What's so urgent?

Well, um, I'm kind of in a bind.

Ooh, sex toy question.

No, freak.

Jabari's birthday's coming up. Ah, so you need a party stripper.

No, freak.

Jabari's going to be 15, okay? And I was thinking that, you know, music would be

great at his birthday party. You know, like some live music. And you could

perform. And we would pay you.

Isn't that a great idea?

Lynn, think about the networking possibility.

I mean, the kids, they would see you play, and then they would tell their

friends. I mean, and these birthday parties could be like a regular gig.

Oh, well, okay.

My fee's $500.

$500? But we were thinking about, like, $25, a slice of pizza, and some dignity.

Okay.

What?

Don't nick one time. Do you want to pay her $500? No, okay.

Lynn, it would be a coup.

for us to get you to play here at the J -Spot. But this is fourth bar, and we

just, we don't, you know, we don't have music.

We don't have live music.

Okay,

you guys really suck at this.

Whatever do you mean?

I, myself, am perplexed.

Okay, guys, you know what?

I know what you're trying to do, and it's very sweet.

But, you know, I don't need you to offer any handouts. My music career is going

just fine.

The hell?

You're singing on the street like some wandering, mistral, kamikaze rigmarole.

Lynn, we're just trying to help you find some place to sing that doesn't smell

like hobo pee.

Okay. I wasn't going to tell you guys until I got settled in, but there's

nothing to be so worried about me.

I have a paying gig.

Oh. Yeah, you should come down tonight and check it out.

We would love to.

Okay, well, there's a cover.

Does that mean a charge or a roof?

No, you need to ask. What's wrong? You just don't know.

So I get home, and hey, this is nice.

And Monica is jumping up on a trampoline.

Normally I love women on trampolines. No, but there's a time and a place.

Exactly, and that is certainly not Monopoly Monday.

I feel you.

Where's her guitar?

Yo, VIP, let's kick it.

Oh, wait a minute.

Are we?

Ice, ice, baby.

Is she?

Is this?

All right, stop.

Collaborate and listen. Ice is back from a brand new invention. Something grabs

a hold of me tightly. Flows like a hot room baby and nightly.

I know what you guys were thinking.

I got a little pitchy on my second eyesight.

No, I was thinking this isn't a gig.

Lynn, this is karaoke.

Well, technically it's a gig because I work here. Oh.

I get the crowd ripped and ready. Guess you could say I'm a karaoke fluffer.

Well, not to ask the obvious question, but why?

Because everybody knows that a lull in a karaoke bar is death.

No, everybody knows that karaoke is death to a serious music career.

Come on, guys, give me some credit here. I know what I'm doing.

It's good practice for my stage performance.

Lynn, you're not even singing your own music. So?

Lynn, you need to come up with something that doesn't involve daily humiliation.

You need a real plan.

This is a real plan.

No, Lynn, this is crazy.

Okay, look.

Okay, I can't take this anymore.

Take what anymore?

Oh, the fact that I'm not following your master plan?

Am I embarrassing you or something? You know what, Lynn? Yeah. Frankly, yes, you

are. Okay? You are a grown -ass woman down here in Koreatown singing karaoke

calling it a gig.

Okay? You were singing on the street without a permit.

Whitney, look, you're stalling. Again.

So you need to get over your fear of failure or your fear of success or

the hell it is and get out there and do it.

For real this time.

What happened to all that other stuff you were doing?

Passing out flyers, passing out your CDs, going to open mic night.

I mean, girl, I know, I know that it doesn't pay, but it's better than this.

I'm still doing all that stuff.

None of it has worked yet, okay?

So instead of sitting home and feeling depressed and angry and waiting for a

call that never comes, I decided to get out there and do something.

Nobody wants to hear it. William, will you please let me in here? No can do. I

gotta get my name on that list before somebody steals my theme song.

You know what?

I get enough rejection from the music industry. I really don't need it from my

friends, too, okay?

Lynn, we're just trying to help.

No.

is me standing with you in traffic trying to sell your book or offering to

my painting to save your restaurant. That's the help.

This is you trying to fix me before I embarrass you. What?

You know what the sick part is? You've got to get off on it. What are you

talking about? Yeah, you need me to be the loser in this friendship so that you

can feel better about yourself. Okay.

Excuse me.

Which is more fun, Jack's or Crazy Eight?

Oh, I need some backstory.

What's the occasion? How many players?

What are the prizes?

See, right there, that's what I'm missing.

It's not organic for me to come up with parlor games and childish amusements.

Well, that's obvious, but... Does this have to do with William?

Yeah. William loves fun and hijinks.

All I ever give him is emotional support and mind -blowing sex.

What's wrong with me?

Where's my fun bone?

Monica, I think you mean funny bone.

See, Joan?

Will you teach me how to have fun with William like you do?

Monica, William and I have known each other for years. It took us a long time

develop the crazy, easy -going, sophomoric, slightly brain -damaged

that we have.

Give it some time. You'll come up with your own goofy relationship.

Oh, Joan, I got goofy with a hula hoop. And last night I chipped my tooth trying

to do the electric slide.

Wow. You committed, huh? No, I made a fool of myself.

Yay!

Monica, you're halfway there.

Making a fool of yourself is part of having fun.

Okay? Thanks, Joan.

you must be having the time of your life.

the neighborhood and i thought i'd come by and uh all right i caught the karaoke

fever you can call me one karaoke kamikaze rigamarole by the

way you really found your voice last night and i'm proud of you william

nobody cares what i sound like as long as i don't spit on anyone i'm sure what

i'm talking about i'm talking about the way you sit up to those bossy heifers

Maybe they're right. Maybe I'm just wasting my time.

Oh, Bill.

What do they know?

There's no single definition of success.

But let me ask you something.

Are you happy when you're making your music?

Yeah. So you're happy.

You're loving what you do.

You haven't borrowed money in two days.

To my mind, that's success.

I mean, think about it. You wanted to make music and you are.

You're stuck with something. You should be proud of yourself, man.

Damn bossy heifers.

And I've never been more in love.

Unbelievable.

Damn heifers.

I'm going through his underwear drawer.

I'm reading his e -mails. I'm editing his blog.

You know, the Wilkes business does not need to be on the World Wide Web.

Um, Maya, when do you have time to do all that? I mean, you're always sitting

here in my house.

Well, I can't catch him in the act if I don't give him time to do some stuff.

Well, got your little messages, and I must say you hit an all -time low.

What? Three messages on my cell phone about how I've been discovered. How far

are you guys going to take this?

Well, then what are you talking about? Oh, so you don't remember this, huh?

Hi, this is Adele. I'm Big Boy's manager. Uh, no, it's Joan, delete.

Hi, it's Adele again. Big Boy's manager. No, it's still Joan. Uh, delete.

Watch, this comes mine. Here comes mine. Hello, this is Big Boy's assistant,

Bridget Thompson.

Could you do him a favor and give the call back?

Delete. Okay, Lynn, you must think I'm really stupid to fall for this whole...

Hey!

And who did I delete?

Your future.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. What do I do? What do I do?

Don't hang up the phone, okay?

Don't hang up the phone, and we can retrieve those lost messages. Okay, how?

Go back to the main menu. I don't know how. I never read the manual. That's why

I was telling you to read the manual, Liz. I didn't read the manual. I bought

at a yard sale. Oh, my God.

Lizzie. Jersey.

Okay. Do what I tell you to do when I tell you to do it, and we will bring

messages home safely.

But you just need to trust me. Oh, would you give me the damn phone?

Be careful. Please. Okay, I'm a mother of a 14 -year -old with the MySpace

All right? I can talk into the CIA mainframe if I need to.

Recovering these messages, nothing.

Okay. All right? Okay.

I know. Let me see. Okay.

Give her a minute.

I don't know. It works on my phone.

Man,

what the hell is this?

Another demo.

These people really want to work with you.

I mean, who don't?

Next.

the last one.

Anybody found no girl yet?

Actually, she's right here.

Big boy, Lynn Felty.

Nice to meet you, Lynn.

Nice to meet you, big boy. I mean, Mr. Big.

Mr. Boy.

I mean, hey, what's up, Antoine?

That's right.

You're a hard lady to find.

Yeah, well, you know, I had some trouble retrieving my messages.

Well, I listened to your demo. I was feeling it, and I think it might be a

idea of me and you get together and do some music.

All right, I'm going to have JoJo contact your people for the details.

Okay. All right.

I have two questions.

Who's JoJo, and where do I get some people?