Original subtitles

I left you four messages, why didn't you call me back?

Because you sounded upset.

I am upset.

That's why I didn't call you back.

Okay, Joan, will you sit down and stop fuming all over my virgin mojito?

Well, according to our accountant, we are missing over $15 ,000.

$15 ,000?

What?

Would you calm down?

How can you calm down? I've got to find $15 ,000.

Woman, you can see I'm in a panic. Would you please get up?

William, you're not going to find it amongst a loose change.

Well, I already found a quarter. What you got?

The way I see it, this is an inside job.

How do you know that?

Because nobody knows more about dealing from the workplace than Maya.

Don't be denigrating my character when I'm trying to help you. No, I'm just

saying that when you left the firm, some things went missing, including a new

laptop computer.

I hope police like anyone would go through the trouble of putting a laptop

between their thighs, pulling the fire alarm, and sneaking out with the crowd.

Allegedly.

I need a water.

Oh, what you need is a towel because you're smoking on my sofa.

Working out like a slave.

Hey, guys.

Hello. Look who just dropped in. And enough time to miss the workout.

Oh, I'm sorry. I kind of lost track of time. I'm in the middle of mass mailing

my press kits to record labels.

Joan, I need to use your postage meter.

Lynn, I haven't had a postage meter since I worked at the law firm.

Um.

In fact, you need to update the credit card on this account.

Oh, Joe, girl, please, let it go.

We should be proud of our men.

Acting all eager and feverish.

Do you know how hard it is to steal a postage meter from an office?

Allegedly.

So how goes the music game, girl?

It's not only hard out there for our pimps.

I must have passed out over 100 CDs at Capitol Records yesterday.

Wow.

a meeting at Capitol Records?

Nope. I got this little topless thing going on with the security guards.

Yeah, and he lets me in all the open offices, the ones with flimsy locks to

leave CDs.

It's all about networking.

Damn, Langer, you are so desperate.

Um, didn't you set up a booth on the freeway to sell Oh Hell Yes?

Excuse me? I mean, that was not desperate. That was entrepreneurial.

Honey, I got a bestseller, a booth at the African marketplace.

What you got?

Well, I got the A &R registry with all the names and addresses.

I'm doing mailings. I'm knocking on doors. I'm posting flyers. Breaking and

entering?

By any means necessary.

Look, I got a lot of irons in the fire.

I'm even up for a gig at Prometheus Underground tonight.

Isn't that a place where all those people got shot?

So you can see how it's popping.

No, it's only an open mic night, but I would love it if you guys came.

A lot of A &R guys hang out there, and I'll need you guys to scream for me when

I hit the stage.

Ooh, maybe bring some panties and throw them at me.

My panties are expensive.

I'll just use Jones.

Wow, Lynn, I've never seen you with a plan A, let alone a plan B.

Hell, I got plan A through Z.

Satisfied with everything?

Mr. Prentice Storm, Senior Vice President, Florentina Records. Did you

idea out of my glove compartment?

Well, you did get the gold package.

No streaks, no spots, no tip necessary.

Matter of fact, I'm going to tip you on the hottest new recording artist

currently shopping for a label.

Yeah, right.

Track four is going to make your mama scream!

I just have to be here and ready to rock when he calls me up. Oh, and guys, make

sure that you cheer me on because it makes A &R people think I have a fan

Okay, let's grab this table. No, what we need to grab is some disinfectant

wipes.

Everything in this place is beyond nasty.

Do you smell that?

Is somebody smoking?

What kind of place is this?

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Don't know that that is against the law.

My, my, my.

Come on, now. You're just a little... cranky because you're tired.

No, I'm cranky because I'm catching Hep A through C up in here.

Guys, I'm going to go see where I'm at on Lyft. Yeah. Please.

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. What's the hurry?

Jordan Gray, A &R, Gersh Records, U .S. And you are?

Lynn Searcy.

I've had my eye on you all night, and now that I'm this close, I don't want

to get away.

Is this card as fake as the ID you used to get in here, kiddo?

Sure,

sure. I'm young.

But that just means I find everything new and exciting, especially you.

Uh, you haven't even heard me sing.

Well, let's arrange a command performance.

My loft is right over on Vine. I've got panoramic city views, great acoustics, a

fully stocked bar, and a real passion for new talent.

Okay, that's a nice line, and it might have worked on Jody Watley, but this is

2006.

Jody who?

Okay, why don't you just try it on one of these little girls who hasn't heard

before? Because I'm not scouting for little girls.

I'm into molding and sculpting real women.

And I mean, I love the body art. This would look great on the cover of a CD.

Hey. I like to be hands -on with my clients. Yeah, I think I'd rather your

on me than your hands. Ooh, everything's a negotiation, right?

Okay, let's just say, for argument's sake, that you are legit. No need to

Tell me who you want to call.

Huh. Mark Burnett, Simon Cowell, Damon Dash.

Oh, please call anybody to punch in some numbers. Hell, I got Buckingham Palace

on mine.

I've got the real Queen of England, Elton John.

They announced your set, Lynn.

My God!

Oh, I need to fall asleep.

Okay, you know, maybe it's not too late. You guys, I know it's late.

You don't have to stay.

Okay, well, next time. And love you. Yeah, yeah, and I'll be sure to buy a

pack of pens at the swap meet.

Okay, bye.

I'm sorry, Mike. Oh, God, sorry.

Look, hey, I'm so sorry I got hung up. Do you have any more slots tonight?

Not tonight.

Not for you.

Look, come on, Mike. You know I've been coming here every night just trying to

get a chance. And you slept through your chip.

Okay, look, you've got to give me five. Just five minutes. One song.

Not my problem.

Hey, Jordan, heard you signed Deedlebug, man.

You're going to blow up. I know.

Jordan! Hey, Jordan.

I've been trying to get a hold of you.

Oh, yeah? Why?

Can't reach Buckingham Palace?

Yeah, about that.

Look, I wanted to apologize.

I'm listening.

I was thinking maybe I was being a little too hasty about saying no to a

performance for you.

So, at least you want to check out my sound?

I'm liking it already.

Where'd you say you left us again?

As

you

know, there is a large sum of money missing from the bar.

Now, we're not saying that one of you took it.

But we're not saying that one of you didn't.

William, please.

As you know, we regard everyone here at the J spot like family.

A family of thieves.

William.

Sorry, you guys.

We just really, you know, you have to excuse him. I mean, but this comes as a

really big shock to all of us. And it would just be so pleasant if whoever

have taken the money just brings it back.

You know, we won't ask any questions. We'll just turn our backs.

What? And let him rob us blind again?

Hell, look, one of you, if not the lot of you, are going to jail.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. This dumb cop, dumb cop routine is just dumb.

Maya, we are handling this. Honey, not fast enough, okay? I have to snake my

to the Antelope Valley freeway by 4, and it's 3 .50.

Now, my spidey sense tells me that the perp is lurking all...

I think you have the right to interrogate us.

Excuse me.

And what you gonna do, Curly Sue, huh?

Quit? Why? Because you have a $15 ,000 cushion? You just made my life

And I know a brother wouldn't be caught up in a scam this flimsy.

Oh,

it's good you may.

You one of them Sammy Sosa.

like you want, so don't mess with me, sugar cane. You just made my list.

Maya, this is not as productive as we thought and possibly a little bit

offensive. Excuse me.

Why, honey?

Because I have the corporate ID?

Huh? You.

Why are you fidgeting?

Guilty conscience?

Notice how we cough and sneeze every time I ask them a question.

I'm sorry. I have a cold.

Oh, you have a cold.

You also have on a new pricey watch.

This? Yeah.

I won $500 playing a scratch -off. Oh, if that's a fact, why don't you come in

here bragging? He told me. Who the hell are you?

Huh? His co -conspirator? Please, I would never steal. No, no, no. Oh, it's

over. Just go back to work, okay?

Okay, we're done.

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Yeah.

And we will be counting for it.

It is that, Jason. I will bet my life on it. I'd bet it, too, if I wasn't

missing $15 ,000.

It couldn't be Jason.

He's one of our best employees.

America's got you so brainwashed, you think our white brains aren't gonna

your money?

Haven't you ever heard of Enron?

Look, I'm not gonna incriminate him based on one of your little hunches. Oh,

honey, what else do you have besides some missing money, a bartender with

watch, and...

A brand new pair of Ferragamo loafers.

Mike, Mike, look, I know I flaked before, but trust me, you are going to

make sure I get a prime spot tonight.

Don't me. Tell me why.

I had a great meeting with Jordan Gray the other night.

The A &R guy?

Right. Now he's going to be pushing my CD up the food chain over at Gersh. You

know, this could be your last chance to say that you discovered me.

I'll see what I can do.

Cool. I'm looking for your name with a special thanks from my CD guy.

Oh, there's Jordan right now.

I better go give him some attention before my set. Please, go do that. Okay,

cool.

Yeah, I'm 24 and I go, obviously your hips do lie.

Looks like I'm going to get a pretty good spot tonight.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to break up your little party. I just... That's all right.

Maybe we can talk after my set tonight.

Maybe.

I'm Jordan Gray, and you are?

You're kidding, right?

About what?

Lynn, I don't get it.

You've had one -night stands before. Why are you so shaken up?

Because sleeping my way to the top was going to be my last resort. It was going

to be my ace in the hole.

I was going to save that for Clive Davis.

Instead, I ended up sleeping my way to the bottom.

Oh, God, I'm just so frustrated.

I'm doing everything that I should be doing, but I just can't catch a break.

Don't be so hard on yourself, girl.

I mean, look at everything I went through to make, oh, hell yes, a

Please, one week on the freeway and you were on your way to New York, first

class to sign your contract.

Excuse me.

Okay, that week on the freeway was the hardest and the most dangerous week of

and my child's life.

Joan, you wouldn't even have a restaurant if William hadn't written you

Whoa, incoming.

Well, I'm just saying that everything seems to always come together for you

and never come together for me.

You don't know how hard it is to be the unsuccessful friend.

Sweetie, come on.

Len, you're just going through a tough time right now.

Yeah. It's called my life.

Lynn, where are you going?

Where I always go.

Lynn, do not reopen the falafel wagon.

Oh, let her go off and make the pita.

Oh, Joan.

It's like I wrote...

I know. It's as profound today as the day I wrote it.

No, I found the money.

What? It was at the bottom of the hamper, the $15 ,000.

I must have forgot to deposit it.

After you fired that poor, poor man.

Look, it's a dog. You just kicked him out of the street.

After you told me to.

Yeah, that may be.

But you're the one who's going to sue for lawful termination.

You need to pray.

Joan Carol Clayton, you have stooped to a new low.

What do you mean?

Oh, come off it, sister. I know you found the $15 ,000.

And like the sniveling, cowardly woman you are, you planted the money in my

That is ridiculous.

How'd you know?

Because I buried it in your hamper yesterday.

You what?

I must have forgot to make the deposit. And then I didn't find the bag until

after you fired Jason.

Me?

Me? You're the one that gave him the finger when he got on the bus.

Well, excuse me. I thought I was the victim of a hate crime.

A hate crime?

I hate losing money.

William, be serious. Come on. What are we going to do?

We've got to make this right. No, it is right. It is right. Look, we got the

money back. We're good to go.

I'm talking about Jason. We ruined his life.

No, no. Look, if his life was being a bartender, it's already ruined.

Still acting like you don't remember me?

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Come on.

It was one night.

Let go.

You're right.

Now I can let it go.

Hey, Mike.

Yeah. So what time do you think I'll be able to get on tonight?

I don't know if I can squeeze you in tonight, but I'll have a good idea

two.

All right, I'll be here.

Jason.

JJ.

We feel terrible.

Oh, my God.

Now, of course, you have your job back.

With a raise. Yes, and dental.

With a raise.

And we insist that you take $5 ,000 for your

pain and suffering.

And lifelong silence.

No.

10

,000.

I hear you recently came into 15.

Oh, no way, J .J.

I'll get more on a lawsuit.

20 ,000 are not a penny more.

Have a nice day off.