Original subtitles

Javon, I have to admit, when we first met, I never in my wildest dreams

thought that this would be us.

I mean, when you least expect it, the right person just comes along and hears

every word your heart is saying.

I know, it's so overwhelming.

If I weren't talking, I'd be speechless, too.

Tammy,

I can't find a damn thing.

Where are the Gibsons escrow files?

The Thompson sales contract?

Gibsons under T.

Thompson under D.

Oh, you're doing the alphabetical thing.

I guess we can try that.

Hello?

Yes, this is she.

Oh, my God, is she okay?

I'm on my way.

Mom collapsed at the mall. They took her to the hospital.

Oh, my God. Is she okay? I don't know. They're running some tests.

My mama came down to visit, and I've been working so much, and... This is all

fault. Tammy, this is not your fault, okay?

Or my fault for having you work all those extra hours.

Could you drop me at the Blue Line?

Okay, why don't I just take you to the hospital? Where is she?

Uh, theaters?

King Drew and what?

Girl, I think that Blue Line might be faster.

Okay. Tammy.

Tammy, of course I'll take you. Just let me go and grab Morgan, okay?

You like whipping, topping on your banana split, split, split.

I've got cherry toppings for your banana split, split, split.

Lynn, what the hell? What are you doing here?

I'm singing banana split. You started it.

Now, Lynn, what are you doing in my house?

I'm house -sitting while you went on a ski trip with your fun guy.

Lynn, you know I canceled that trip.

Yeah, you canceled the trip, but nobody canceled the house -sitting.

So, what'll it be? Western to Fomley?

Lynn, right, you've had enough protein.

Girl, you put it on him last night.

Oh, my God.

You were here all night?

Okay, you know what, bitch? Get out.

Sorry, I can't. I got fine washables on the rack. Plus, I got a fight party here

this weekend.

Lynn, I'm serious.

Come on, I'm really clicking with Javon. I don't want to screw things up.

What happened to you being a player for life?

Well, that was when I thought he didn't want me, but he's introducing me to his

parents. I just, I really think he's the one.

Oh, God, it's Derek.

Hey, Derek.

Hey, guess where I am.

I'll tell you.

I'm at your favorite breakfast spot. You want to come down and join me?

Oh.

but I'm feeling a little under the weather.

Oh, okay. Well, we'll just stay in there.

I'll get some DVDs. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I really, I don't want

you to catch what I've got, you know? And I mean, especially when you've got

this big story to do tomorrow.

Oh, look at you looking out for me.

I got me a good one.

Yes, you do.

Hey, baby.

Oh, I'm just feeling a little weak. Gotta go.

I didn't know anybody was here.

Yeah, that makes two of us.

Listen, we have to hurry up if we're going to meet my parents.

Oh, okay, you know what? I was thinking that after brunch, we could go to the

Renaissance cabinet exhibit at the Getty.

Sounds great, but I can't, babe. I got a pregame ritual, and I can't break it.

Oh, okay, of course, totally.

That's okay.

Thanks.

Wow, his pregame ritual's a lot like mine.

Screw some freak and let's play.

Uh, now look, girl, when we get there, I'll just slow down and you can just

out of the car, okay?

That'll be faster than me having to park or come to a complete stop.

I really appreciate you taking me. What?

Tammy, I know that you've been through a lot.

You know what?

I am going to come to a complete stop.

Okay, why is this? fool standing in the middle of the street oh my god he has a

gun put the car in port and get out don't you shut the hell up please my

okay look look we're getting out just take it easy we've got a baby it's okay

i'm just gonna reach in the back and get her it's okay tony just get out on your

side i'm a good person don't look at me tony

just walk to the curb

I wish I'd been there.

And what would you have done, William?

Huh? Wrestle him for the gun?

Good God, no. What, are you crazy?

No, I do have an uncanny sense of facial recall.

The key is nailing the cheekbones.

Okay.

Hey.

Oh, my God, Tony, are you okay?

How's Morgan?

Well, look what the cat drug in.

What's that supposed to mean?

I told you I was coming.

Yeah, well, your word hasn't been worth much lately.

Come on, Tony.

Lise's here now. She's trying to show her concern.

What? It took her concerned ass two hours to get here.

Tony, I came as soon as I could. I had a guy down at the J -spot working on

something.

Seems like you got a new guy working on your J -spot every other day now.

You know what, Tony?

I'm glad to hear that you're okay.

And here, I got this bear for the other baby.

I'm so sorry I'm leaving you hanging, but I really need to get my mom back

to Bakersfield.

Tammy, of course I understand. I mean, I hate to lose you, but family comes

first. And I know, I know I never really said this because I make it a policy to

motivate my employees by withholding praise, but you did a great job.

Now, I know I can't...

Make up for all the hours of unpaid labor or the fact that you saved my

life. But I hope this helps out with you and your mom.

Oh, my God.

You didn't have to do this.

Yes, I did.

Thank you, Tammy. Oh.

And, Tammy, if you ever come back to L .A., And you're looking for a paying

My door is always open.

Metaphorically. Actually, it'll be triple bolted and backed up by severely

underfed Rottweilers.

I hate when people leave their stuff in the dryer.

Oh, hey, Joan.

What are you doing here?

For about the last 20 minutes, I've been cleaning out a dirty lint trap.

Listen, Joan.

If you want to keep me as your house sitter, I'm going to need just a little

more consideration, all right? It's got to go both ways.

Okay, Lynn, you got to go, okay? Because Derek is on his way over here for me to

break up with him, and I don't need an audience.

Fine. Here.

Then how come Gertie gets to watch?

Oh, my God.

Okay, what is he doing here?

I don't know, but he better not be here trying to house sit. Okay, Lynn, go. Go

out the back.

What up, what up, what up, what up?

Curtis, I thought you were skiing.

I didn't feel right kicking it up there like that, knowing you're here long

sick. I had to come take care of my girl. Even had my mom spoke up a bowl of

famous chicken noodle.

Oh, I'm not sick.

Yeah, yeah, that's how you gotta do it. Mind over matter.

Oh, boy. Okay, um, Curtis.

Look, I'm sorry. I lied.

I'm not sick.

And the reason I canceled with you is because I've met someone else.

But I told my mama about you.

Why? Because I thought you was the one.

Why? Because we was good together.

When?

Oh, look, okay. Curtis, I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Okay.

I will be fine. I know you will.

Man up! Man up, Curtis!

Man up!

Jones! Not now. It's not a good time. It's not a good time. You're telling me.

Derek's here.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

a lot of fun.

Derek. Hey, baby.

Hey.

The article is done, so give me them germs so we can get sick together.

Yeah, about that.

Derek, I lied.

I'm not sick.

I've met someone.

And you are a really nice guy, and I've had such a great time with you, but the

truth is, I don't think it's fair to string you along if there's no future.

What do you mean you met some guy?

Joe!

What? What are you doing?

Curtis. You broke up with me for him?

Actually, I broke up with the both of you for Javon Dennis.

So you've been...

You're seeing all of us at the same time.

Eric, I'm sorry. No, no, no, no.

Joan, it's cool. Look, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be

with me.

I do.

Tony, get out of the car.

Nobody's going to hurt you all the way out here.

You don't know that.

Tony Child, nothing soothes frayed nerves like the grand opening of an

Ooh, that sounds so soothing.

Thousands of desperate poor people fighting to get last year's clothes.

Yeah, I shanked the girl to get this.

Well, I don't want to be seen shopping at an outlet mall.

The last thing I need is another trauma.

Honey, we're an hour outside of L .A., Tony. It's not like you're going to run

into anybody you know.

Except Tammy.

What? Now, Tammy's in Bakersfield. No, Tammy's over there, enjoying in a

Cinnabon.

What the?

She's with the guy who carjacked me.

Oh, my God. She hunted him down and captured him?

She's good.

Wait, girl.

Tammy.

Tony. You set me up.

What are you talking about?

Where is he?

I don't know what you're talking about. Get your hands off me.

Bitch, don't play dumb. My baby was in that car.

Tony, just calm down, girl. We'll just call the police.

And tell them what?

You can't prove anything.

So you best get out of my face.

I ain't playing with you.

Hey, so you lost your car.

Nobody got hurt.

So why don't you leave it at that?

No, I want to leave it at this.

She had the nerve to press charges against me?

She's only pressing charges because not doing so would be an admission of guilt

on her part.

She's bold, this one.

What? Well, Tony, you can't go around beating people up.

This isn't Fight Club.

Is it?

Because if it was, you couldn't tell me, could you?

William! Well, look, Tammy says that you mistakenly ID'd the carjacker and you

jumped her. This is not good, Tony.

Hell, I'm glad I whooped her ass.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

You did not whoop anyone's ass.

In your excitement to see her, you threw open your arms to give her a hug.

Accidentally knocked some of her teeth out.

Now, you get your little defense prepared, but these happens in here need

know I whooped old girl's ass.

William, you got to get me out of here. I think they smell fear through my

Chanel number 19.

It's not going to be that easy, Tony. It's Friday, and the courts are closed.

You're not going to be able to see a judge until Monday morning.

What?

I'm sorry, Tony, but it looks like you're going to have to be in here for

whole weekend.

Joan? Hey, what's up?

Hey. Everything okay?

Yes.

Everything's fine.

I just... I wanted to make sure my man got a nice home -cooked meal after being

out on the road, and...

I was thinking that I could be the dessert.

You can't just pop up on me, Joan.

It's not cool.

Oh, I just... I wanted to surprise you. Well, you should have called first.

Okay, why are you acting like this?

You didn't see the game?

No, I was...

I was working on your picnic.

Well, I played awful tonight, okay?

They needed me in the fourth quarter and I disappeared.

Well, that's okay, baby. I mean, it's not your fault. It is my fault, Joan.

And it can't happen again.

I mean, I told you, I got ten months left on this knee.

And I'm in a contract here. This is my last shot.

Okay, well...

You're obviously upset, so I'll just leave you the picnic and I'll call you

tomorrow. And oh, you should start at the bottom because there's a peach

delight. It's like a peach cobbler, but a little more cinnamony, not as soupy.

Well, you'll figure it out.

Look,

Joan, I think you're cool.

And I like spending time with you, but maybe this isn't a good time for me. I'm

sorry, you think I'm cool?

What's that?

Devon, you introduced me to your parents. So?

I introduce a lot of people to my parents.

They're my parents.

So this is it?

I mean, we could still see each other from time to time, but I can't do

serious. So you mean we can still sleep together?

Well, when you make it sound all funky like that, I guess that's not going to

work either, huh?

So, yeah.

So...

Be good.

Hey.

Hi, guys.

Beep, beep.

Hello.

You want to let Tony know that we're here?

Oh, Tony loves the store.

Right. In fact, she told us to wait here for you and watch Morgan until she gets

back. Aw.

She's so pretty. Yeah.

Aw, little little. That's okay. I mean, I'll wait. I needed to talk to her about

some preschools for Morgan. You know, the store's really far. I don't know if

you're going to wait that long.

Plus, you know how Tony is. You know, she might get locked up.

Tied up.

She might get tied up with something.

Okay, I'll call her, see how long she's going to be.

Hey, you know, why don't you let me do that? Why don't you just marinate on

those preschools?

Hey, Tony, it's Lynn.

Um, yeah, Todd is here and he wants to know what to do with Morgan.

Oh, you should just leave her here with us?

Cool. All right.

Um, I'll tell him. So see you when you get back from the store, okay?

Uh, Lynn?

That's my phone ringing.

Well, they're just going to have to leave a message because I'm busy talking

Tony, all right?

Thanks for watching, Morgan.

Where is she?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. You don't want to see her until you wash off that

prison funk.

Now, let me go and run you a bath, girl, okay?

Wait.

Where's Morgan? Oh, you know what? She's fine. She's happy. She's sleeping.

Lynn?

At Todd's.

Todd knows you were in jail. He came by and he took her.

Did you want bubbles?

are you doing now i was just finishing up a little laundry and watching a

tv oh well fine look thank you for respecting my wishes

about the fight party i've just had a really rough week of course i mean i

wouldn't have a party the day after you got dumped oh thank you good night good

night and steam

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