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And the oil lasted for eight days, which
was a miracle. And so, to celebrate, we
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have the Festival of Lights.
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I thought that was called Hanukkah.
Hanukkah is Hebrew for Festival of
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Are you sure about that? No.
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But I am so excited because it's
Morgan's first holiday. And how symbolic
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that Hanukkah and Christmas fall on...
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the same day this year.
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And how moving that Tony and Todd
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have called a truth so that Morgan can
celebrate both
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Hanukkah and Christmas.
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Where?
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In my great room.
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Where all great holidays are spent.
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Okay, Joan, before you get all excited,
know that I would sacrifice a goat and
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drink its blood if it made me look good
for the judge in my custody battle.
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I knew your trifling butt was pulling a
big ol' Hanukkah scam on Todd.
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A mother's gotta do what a mother's
gotta do to keep her child.
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So can a scammer get a mazel tov? Ooh,
way ahead of you.
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Mazel tov!
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Everyone, it's sundown. Todd, darling,
could you light the candles? And I'll
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the Hanukkah gelt from my purse.
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Excuse me, Miss Bing. You can't go
cutting off a woman before she receives
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king.
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I'm sorry, Verretta, but now it's time
for my granddaughter's first Hanukkah.
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And besides, we've been celebrating
Christmas since last night.
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Oh, honey, we've been celebrating
Christmas since the star rose over
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Oh, wait!
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So, for your Hanukkah enjoyment, we've
got dreidels, we've got latkes, and
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even got a bottle of Manischewitz. A
bottle of what? I don't know, sweetie.
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ate half that thing. If you would drink,
I'm out of watsit.
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So, what happens now?
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Well, I've heard tale of more presents.
That's why I brought a big old empty day
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one Hanukkah bag.
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Tony, you stand here with Morgan so she
can watch her daddy light the pretty
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candles.
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Does anybody know what he's saying?
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He's trying to get our baby.
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For all we know, he could be chanting
some voodoo curse to send us all back to
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Africa.
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Have some respect, please.
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He is blessing the Hanukkah candles.
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Blessing candles?
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Oh, no.
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We don't worship false idols in our
church.
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Obviously, they don't teach manners at
your church.
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Oh, no, she didn't.
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Mama, please.
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Veretta, you know, Hanukkah is a very
ancient celebration, and Jesus himself
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probably lit the Hanukkah candle.
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Well, if he did, that was before Jesus
found Jesus.
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Jesus loves me.
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This I know for the Bible. And you know,
that's the whole Bible, not just that
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first part.
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That's enough.
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You know what? I have sat here. I've
listened to your carols. I've watched
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eat your ham.
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I've worried myself into an ulcer that
that fire trap you call a Christmas tree
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is going to burst into flames.
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Well, if you're so worried about a fire,
why are you up and through here
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lighting candles?
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I'm lighting candles because my
granddaughter is half Jewish.
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Well, if you don't type that on her
forehead, ain't nobody going to know
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Because in America, That's a black baby
with good hair. Praise Jesus.
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Oh, come away.
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Excuse me.
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Look,
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Tony and I have put aside our issues to
make this day special for Morgan.
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We're celebrating Christmas and
Hanukkah.
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Anyone who doesn't like it can leave.
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It's my house.
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My empty bag.
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And I, for one, am enjoying the
festivities.
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Those little tops are fun.
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00:05:05,281 --> 00:05:10,879
And, you know, Darnell and I are cool. I
mean, we're used to tension around the
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holidays. You know, Darnell's crazy
family.
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Well, my family got to be crazy.
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You don't really want me to bring up Big
Mama and the turkey leg, do you?
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The Wilkes family's cool.
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Mom?
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I stomach your wedding.
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Your brother is a cloth dresser. I am
sitting here on a hemorrhoid donut.
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When have I ever complained?
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What are y 'all eyeballing me for?
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You're going to be here on our terms, or
you're not going to be here at all?
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Well, I'm sitting here, so apparently
I'm all right.
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Okay.
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Joan. Thank you.
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Look, I said it. From Joan.
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00:06:05,470 --> 00:06:08,990
Tony and Todd had absolutely no business
getting together.
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I mean, it's right there in the Bible,
baby. Corinthians 6 .14. You've got to
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equal to yoke.
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To be with Tony, you've got to be more
than yoke. You've got to be drunk.
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You best not be, boy. I'm serious.
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You know that boy's lying. I know, but
you want to walk across the cold
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courtyard and take him away from him?
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Not when I got my own.
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Hello.
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Look, all I'm saying is marriage is hard
enough without having to deal with all
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that race and religion drama.
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We're lucky.
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We're both black and Baptist.
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00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:08,700
Well, actually, Maya, during our time
apart,
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A brother became Episcopalian.
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Episcopal what?
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You turned your back on the Baptist
church?
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00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:24,680
Maya, I love the Lord, but not for five
and a half hours every Sunday.
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And that's not even counting two hours
getting out the parking lot.
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Darnell, all I know is the Baptist
church. All Jabari is going to know is
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Baptist church.
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Well, actually, Jabari's been knowing
the Episcopal church.
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You said be ye, not unequally yoked, or
live forever in damnation. That's what
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you said.
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Maya, I'm still Christian. No, you're
Christian -like.
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Todd, all I'm saying is... Mom, you've
said enough.
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Well, I haven't said this.
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You can't be Jewish and Christian. It's
not possible.
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We're figuring it out. There's no time
to figure it out. Morgan is here now.
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Why did you have to marry Tony in the
first place? The Jewish girls were
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throwing themselves at you. You're a
doctor.
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No one was throwing themselves at me.
Well, you wouldn't have noticed if they
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were. And you know why?
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Because you're a short, insecure boy
just like your father who chased after
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unattainable, exotic beauty just like
your father. Well, you got her. And
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did it get you? And your point? My point
is, her Meshuggah mother is right about
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one thing.
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Our little Morgan will always be
perceived as African American.
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I have to accept that.
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But shouldn't part of her heritage come
from us? We're Jewish, Todd.
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Our people have been Jewish for 5 ,000
years.
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And if you don't raise her Jewish, God
forbid, then you're just completing
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Hitler's work.
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Want me to open a vein?
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I'm a little over the top, sweetheart. I
mean, I admit it. It's just that little
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pitfall of, oh, beautiful.
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She's probably the only grandchild I'm
ever going to have.
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You know your brother's on hormones.
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He has breathless now.
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Give me this one little thing. Raise
mortgage Jewish. Just let me go to my
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grave. With the guilt now.
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Guilt?
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There's no guilt.
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Who got you out of debt?
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Who helped you buy that show place in
Tarzana? I sent you a thank you card.
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you did.
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Right, you're the good one. You're the
considerate one. And that's why I know
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you are going to do the right thing and
make your mother happy.
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For your sake, you know, I did stick it
out in a miserable marriage.
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Do you know what your father did this
time? If he treats you so bad, why don't
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you just divorce him?
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Divorce a wonderful man like your
father? Aunt Monica, shame on you.
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Yeah, she nuzzled up on these big old
breasts and fell sound asleep, just like
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her granddaddy.
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You know what?
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I'm going to bed, too.
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00:10:02,380 --> 00:10:04,620
Well, before you crawl into bed...
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You might want to get down on your knees
and beg forgiveness for bringing
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Hanukkah all up and through your baby's
first Christmas.
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Mama, you know what I'm trying to do.
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00:10:15,470 --> 00:10:21,329
Tony, I know y 'all think Mama's all
jokey jokes, but I am serious about
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Christian woman.
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Now, Jesus got me sober and finally in a
good relationship with you. And Jesus
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got you through, too.
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Because if I recall, you were down and
out in Beverly Hills adjacent.
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00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:38,010
Well, Jesus is going to have to
understand.
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Exposing Morgan to both religions will
make me look better in court.
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Oh, you think you're being all
legalistic and strategic.
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But all you're doing is mixing that
child up.
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Well, that may be.
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But at least she'll be mixed up living
with me.
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Tony, I want Morgan to live with you in
this life, too.
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But I got to think about our next life.
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I don't want my pretty little grandbaby
waving to me from the wrong side of the
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pearly gates.
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00:11:08,230 --> 00:11:13,749
Mama, with all due respect, what makes
you think you're going to be on the
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side of the pearly gates?
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Oh, because I tie 11%. Practically paid
for the
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pearly gates.
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I know I'm going to have me a key card.
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Gated community, my ass.
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00:11:46,569 --> 00:11:47,619
Hey, Tony.
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Morgan is still sleeping. Do you want to
come in and wait?
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Is your mother around?
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00:11:53,730 --> 00:11:56,800
No, she's down at the mall returning the
sweater you gave her.
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Good luck.
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From the hospital lost and found.
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Excuse me. Sorry.
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Hey, look.
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I need to talk to you about something,
and I guess now's as good a time as any.
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What?
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00:12:14,290 --> 00:12:15,730
I want to raise Morgan Jewish.
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00:12:15,731 --> 00:12:19,559
And I want you to stop hogging that pot
of gold at the end of the rainbow. Your
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turn.
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00:12:20,611 --> 00:12:25,419
Tony, everyone can see you in her. I
want there to be something of me in her.
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00:12:25,420 --> 00:12:27,979
She's got your hair. See, now you're
getting greedy.
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00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:32,079
I admit my religion has never been very
important to me, but it's more than just
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religion. It's my heritage. And now that
I have a child, I want to pass that
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heritage on.
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00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:38,480
I want her to be raised Jewish.
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00:12:40,780 --> 00:12:42,220
Is this your mother talking?
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She brought it up, but it got me
thinking.
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This is important to me.
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00:12:47,570 --> 00:12:52,010
We should have talked about this before,
but we didn't, so here we are.
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00:12:52,011 --> 00:12:55,169
Well, I'm not just going to kick my
religion to the curb, Todd.
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00:12:55,170 --> 00:12:58,929
My faith is important to me, too. Come
on, Tony, half the time you're praising
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Jesus, you're talking about Jesus the
maintenance man.
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00:13:02,590 --> 00:13:04,530
Todd, this is not negotiable.
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00:13:05,070 --> 00:13:08,970
I don't want to bring down the wrath of
God or, worse, my mother.
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00:13:13,610 --> 00:13:16,260
Even if I agree to drop my petition for
full custody?
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00:13:26,850 --> 00:13:28,570
Hey! Hey!
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00:13:31,130 --> 00:13:33,330
Okay, what's all this?
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00:13:33,850 --> 00:13:36,260
Well, Joan's shoving Kwanzaa down our
throats.
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So open up.
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00:13:38,550 --> 00:13:42,130
What? So Joan, when did you start acting
black?
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If you can act like somebody's mama,
then I can act black.
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00:13:49,950 --> 00:13:51,000
Touché.
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00:13:51,001 --> 00:13:52,089
Where's Morgan?
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00:13:52,090 --> 00:13:53,140
Where's your child?
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00:13:53,270 --> 00:13:54,320
Touché.
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00:13:54,321 --> 00:13:59,289
No, for real, Tony, where's Itty Bitty?
I thought you were going to bring her.
220
00:13:59,290 --> 00:14:02,780
Oh, Todd has her. He probably took her
to felt -a -fishing or something.
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00:14:04,690 --> 00:14:05,740
What?
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00:14:05,910 --> 00:14:06,960
Oh, yeah.
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00:14:07,530 --> 00:14:08,850
Right, you guys don't know.
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00:14:09,310 --> 00:14:11,960
We're converting Morgan so she can be
raised Jewish.
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00:14:12,030 --> 00:14:13,080
Now, what now?
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00:14:13,081 --> 00:14:17,239
If we're going to dip her in the mix,
we'll make her Jewish real quick.
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00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:19,410
You going to do what to the who now and
when?
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00:14:19,411 --> 00:14:24,079
Todd offered to drop his custody
petition in exchange for Morgan being
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Jewish. So I've agreed to take her down
to some religious hot tub and dunk her
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00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:31,720
in converter. And I don't want to hear
boo about it.
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00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,320
Oh, you're about to hear some boo, boo.
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00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:39,000
No, Maya, we are going to respect Tony's
decision.
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00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:43,939
Because I'm sure that she's thought a
lot about it and prayed on it and sat
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00:14:43,940 --> 00:14:47,739
it, and she's decided that this is the
best thing for her daughter. And what's
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best for my daughter is being with me.
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I love that little girl.
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00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:55,519
I mean, you guys, Morgan is my life, and
I would do anything if it meant more
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00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:56,570
time with her.
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00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:59,680
Then it's done. Oh, no, it ain't. No, uh
-uh.
240
00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:04,519
I don't want to be flagged and pulled to
the side on Judgment Day because I
241
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:06,320
didn't stand up for Jesus on this day.
242
00:15:06,321 --> 00:15:10,539
Morgan is not going to get to heaven
because the Bible says you've got to
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00:15:10,540 --> 00:15:12,339
in with the Father before you can get to
the Son.
244
00:15:12,340 --> 00:15:15,660
Now, I may be paraphrasing, but, you
know, you get my point.
245
00:15:15,661 --> 00:15:19,959
You know, I believe all Jesus was trying
to say was to follow his way if you
246
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,100
want to get to paradise.
247
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,860
Clothe the naked, feed the hungry.
248
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,720
Says the woman who wants to be clothed
and fed.
249
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:30,930
That's right. So if you want to get in,
you best step up.
250
00:15:33,060 --> 00:15:34,110
You know what, Tony?
251
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:35,560
You do whatever you want.
252
00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:39,899
But honestly, I don't understand how you
can raise your daughter in a religion
253
00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:42,680
that denied the word when it was all
fresh and new.
254
00:15:42,681 --> 00:15:45,919
Shoot, honey, they heard it straight
from his mouth. Wasn't no he said, she
255
00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:46,970
said, girl.
256
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:48,690
You're right, Maya.
257
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:54,339
I need to do what I want, and this is
what I want. So then you know what? Do
258
00:15:54,340 --> 00:15:56,820
you, because guess what? I'm done. I'm
done.
259
00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:58,350
I'm done.
260
00:15:59,420 --> 00:16:00,470
No, I ain't.
261
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,400
Morgan is black.
262
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:06,520
Black people are Christian.
263
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:07,770
End of story.
264
00:16:07,771 --> 00:16:11,999
Actually, Maya, the majority of black
people in the world are Muslim.
265
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:15,190
Well, you know what? I don't really know
nothing about all that.
266
00:16:15,191 --> 00:16:19,039
I don't know nothing about that either,
but I know there's a lot of them.
267
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:22,359
Look, you know what, Tony? I'm talking
about black people in America.
268
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:25,739
Let me be specific for you. I'm talking
about black people in L .A., Atlanta,
269
00:16:25,740 --> 00:16:26,790
and Houston.
270
00:16:28,380 --> 00:16:31,690
Okay? They don't have all those big old
mega churches for nothing.
271
00:16:34,030 --> 00:16:37,250
Morgan is part of a proud legacy of
black folk.
272
00:16:37,950 --> 00:16:42,790
Okay, girl? And she needs to know that
the church is our rock, our strength.
273
00:16:43,290 --> 00:16:47,289
It got us through slavery. It got us
through Jim Crow. Girl, I am praying
274
00:16:47,290 --> 00:16:48,610
get us through George Bush.
275
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:51,360
Amen.
276
00:16:51,810 --> 00:16:52,860
Look,
277
00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:57,350
Tony, for what it's worth, I think you
guys had it right to begin with.
278
00:16:57,930 --> 00:17:02,229
Expose Morgan to both religions because
ultimately it's her choice to make
279
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:03,280
anyway.
280
00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:06,819
And you know what? Maybe she'll decide
that there is no choice to make.
281
00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:09,530
Don't all these paths lead to God
anyway?
282
00:17:19,599 --> 00:17:26,459
Why we got
283
00:17:26,460 --> 00:17:27,510
to be in the back?
284
00:17:27,579 --> 00:17:28,839
Because we're not Jewish.
285
00:17:29,580 --> 00:17:32,220
Oh, I see. This is our Rosa Parks
moment.
286
00:17:32,570 --> 00:17:34,970
We got to sit in the back seat of the
mid -bush.
287
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:43,630
Now, Todd, blow in Morgan's face and
dunk her quickly.
288
00:17:44,110 --> 00:17:45,290
Just blow and dunk?
289
00:17:46,070 --> 00:17:47,120
Blow and dunk.
290
00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:49,770
Stop. Wait a minute.
291
00:17:50,550 --> 00:17:51,600
Hold up.
292
00:17:52,730 --> 00:17:57,169
All of this is wonderful and beautiful,
and I'm not really sure what you were
293
00:17:57,170 --> 00:18:01,510
saying, but I know it's all good, and I
want Morgan to know all of it.
294
00:18:02,730 --> 00:18:04,050
But I can't consent to this.
295
00:18:04,051 --> 00:18:05,629
Not now.
296
00:18:05,630 --> 00:18:07,550
Todd, blow and dunk. Blow and dunk.
297
00:18:08,390 --> 00:18:11,130
Tony, what are you doing? We agreed to
this.
298
00:18:11,950 --> 00:18:17,970
Todd, I'm sorry that I let it get this
far, but this was a knee -jerk decision.
299
00:18:19,070 --> 00:18:24,009
All my life, I've made knee -jerk
decisions. I mean, come on, Todd. Our
300
00:18:24,010 --> 00:18:25,090
was knee -jerk.
301
00:18:27,590 --> 00:18:29,850
But raising Morgan is too important.
302
00:18:29,851 --> 00:18:34,689
I can't have her race in this faith and
deny the other part of her religious
303
00:18:34,690 --> 00:18:36,550
heritage, which has been so good to me.
304
00:18:36,970 --> 00:18:38,590
Tony, I'm not doing this lightly.
305
00:18:39,130 --> 00:18:40,270
And neither am I.
306
00:18:41,130 --> 00:18:42,690
Well, you know what this means?
307
00:18:42,790 --> 00:18:45,350
The custody battle is back on.
308
00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:48,910
Oh, bring it on.
309
00:18:52,670 --> 00:18:57,350
Come on, Maya.
310
00:18:58,730 --> 00:18:59,970
Look, we got to decide.
311
00:19:00,770 --> 00:19:05,270
Which church are we going to go to? The
church where God dwelleth, Darnell.
312
00:19:05,910 --> 00:19:07,690
Mount Moriah Bethany Baptist.
313
00:19:08,810 --> 00:19:10,790
God dwelleth at St.
314
00:19:10,990 --> 00:19:12,370
Matthew's Episcopal, too.
315
00:19:12,970 --> 00:19:14,020
Okay, you know what?
316
00:19:14,590 --> 00:19:16,030
Jabari, it's all on you.
317
00:19:16,670 --> 00:19:22,249
Which church are we going to go to? Now,
keep in mind, you can spend all day at
318
00:19:22,250 --> 00:19:25,910
your mama's church, or you can hit it
and quit it at mine.
319
00:19:26,150 --> 00:19:28,110
But over there, Jabari.
320
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:31,970
You can't get Sister Willetta's peach
delight at the potluck.
321
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:36,240
Why y 'all fartin'? Can't we just do
what we usually do?
322
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:45,840
Lord, thank you so much, and bless this
day.
323
00:19:47,140 --> 00:19:48,190
Amen.
324
00:19:48,191 --> 00:19:52,299
So, Ross goes chicken and waffles? Yeah,
let's get there real quick before it
325
00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:53,349
gets all kind of a church vote.
326
00:19:53,350 --> 00:19:57,900
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