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Previously on Girlfriends.
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And by the power vested in me by the
state of Nevada, as jumpsuit did I wear,
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now pronounce you man and wife again.
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Forget the reason.
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I want him to keep his room. And I want
us to end this conversation so that we
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can enjoy our honeymoon.
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Tony. Todd and I are getting a divorce
for real this time. Damn it, Tony. I am
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not getting divorced.
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Well, I am.
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So you better think about what you're
going to say when my lawyer calls.
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I have never had this problem before.
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And it's been a while, so you have to
expect some shrinkage.
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All right, here's the skinny.
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Joan's a new couch girl.
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Oh, no, those are the worst. I know.
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I thought she was going to be the one,
man.
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Don't!
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Guys? I'd like to introduce you to my
fiancé.
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Hi, I'm Jennifer.
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You
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know
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what, Darnell? I really don't feel like
watching porn.
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If we can't get it on without watching
someone else get it on, Darnell, maybe
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just shouldn't be getting it on.
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Are you going to talk through the whole
thing?
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I don't see why we can't look at houses
in Larchmont.
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Baby, they got a lot of trees.
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They got good schools.
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Oh, and Jabari is keeping his room.
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What the hell?
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Look, his ass is moving to the couch.
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And why you got to come out the bathroom
with all this drama?
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We're supposed to be here enjoying our
honeymoon.
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My idea of a honeymoon is not doing what
Darnell wants to do.
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Well, what does Maya want to do?
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Maya wants to buy a house in large
amount and let Jabari keep his room.
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Well, since then, what else does Maya
want to do?
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Let's sit here and look at you.
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What's the matter with you?
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Do you not know an SOS when you hear
one?
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What? I introduced you to my lesbian
fiancé. Did that not set off any alarms,
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bells, whistles?
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With you?
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Frankly, no.
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But you know I'm not a lesbian.
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Actually, Lynn, I really don't know what
you are.
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I'm not a lesbian.
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But you've been with women.
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I've been with vegetables. That doesn't
make me a salad.
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Being a lesbian is an emotional and
spiritual connection.
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I mean, sure, if I saw Jennifer in a bar
and I thought she was hot, I'd probably
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do her.
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But marry her? That's crazy!
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Okay, Lyndon, why are you marrying her?
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Well, see, what had happened was... I
was up in Runyon Canyon tripping on my
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breakup with Finn, and I ran into
Jennifer.
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She's one of those people who had given
up her life to take care of her
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emotionally abusive mother. And when all
had passed, she found herself alone,
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lost, with no sense of purpose in her
life. So she was gonna kill herself.
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I had no choice. I had to propose to her
to keep her alive.
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Um...
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Lynn, that's insane.
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Exactly. Why didn't you just scream stop
the madness when I trotted her up to
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that hospital room?
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I'm sorry, Lynn. I didn't know about the
whole suicidal lesbian backstory.
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Okay, you can stand here with your
freshly baked cookies and equivocate, or
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can give me one and help me.
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Okay, here.
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What do you want me to say?
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First thing you should say is, these
cookies are hot!
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Secondly, say, Lynn, you cannot marry
some stranger to keep her alive. It's
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your responsibility.
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What you need to do is get her some
professional help and get the hell away
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crazy.
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Okay.
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Lynn, you cannot just blah, blah, blah,
yada, yada, yada, get the hell away from
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crazy. Oh, thank you, John.
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Thank you for giving me some clarity.
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You know, I'm going to go over there,
and I'm going to end it with the
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But, you know, maybe I should send
Jennifer over here.
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I think you two would hit it off.
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The whole Ooch Ashley would not be a
problem with her. What?
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William!
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I think it's a disturbance in the force.
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Come on, Morgan.
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She fell asleep again.
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Why can't I do this?
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Maybe your milk's not in yet.
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Well, they're filled with something. I'm
looking all swole up like my mama.
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God, she's gonna starve.
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Something's wrong with me.
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It's gonna be okay.
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Just take a minute. Relax.
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Yeah, there you go. Okay.
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What
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am I doing?
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What?
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We can't get a divorce.
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What? Maybe I was just scared.
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Or maybe it's that postpartum thingy
like you said.
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Or maybe I'm angry that you weren't here
for the birth. Or maybe it's some weird
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delayed reaction to the fact that you're
short. I don't know.
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So now you think we should stay
together.
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How can we possibly think about a
divorce when we have a baby to raise?
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That's what I was saying.
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I guess it just finally sank in.
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Although it's funny.
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I've been sitting here thinking how much
I admire you for your honesty and for
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your courage.
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We don't belong together.
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And maybe the reason I didn't rush back
from New York after we reconciled is
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because I was trying to avoid the truth.
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Maybe it doesn't matter.
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Todd, you're home now.
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We can fix what's wrong. We could go to
therapy.
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We can go to church. We could even go to
your little temple.
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We just have to try.
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Come on, Tony. Is this what you really
want to do now?
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Is it what you want? I asked you first.
I asked you second.
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Tony, this is a prime example of how we
don't communicate.
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If we want to stay together, we have to
learn how to talk to each other.
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Fine. Now that we're back together,
we'll start communicating.
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Now that I've fixed us, let me call Mom
and tell her why Morgan's not named
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after her.
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Wait, Tony, we still need to talk. Oh, I
know, I know.
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I'll tell her that you thought the name
Veretta sounded too black.
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He hasn't changed.
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He hasn't.
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Got to be his way. Got to have the final
word. Oh, he's the final word, brother?
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I love him. I do. But I'm not going to
just roll over and play wifey. Oh, he's
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going to play wifey, brother.
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You know what the problem is?
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The problem is I married him when I was
a teenager and he still treats me like
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one. Like I don't have an opinion or my
own feelings. Like I haven't grown or
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accomplished anything.
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I mean, I'm a published author at a
book.
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But that didn't mean nothing to Darnell,
you know, because Darnell knows best.
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Darnell's got to be the man, got to be
the boss. Darnell's in charge. I mean,
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it's all about Darnell, Darnell,
Darnell, Darnell.
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Maya. Darnell.
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What are you doing?
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Nothing. No, no, no, no. You're doing
something.
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Just talking.
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Really?
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You hard -hearing dog. Is that why she
all up on you?
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It ain't like that, okay? I know she's
married.
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That don't mean nothing to her. Stop it.
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Maya. I didn't get back in this marriage
so you could cheat on me. Darnell, I
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was just talking to him. Well, you're
supposed to be talking to me.
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Oh, you can't talk to you, okay?
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Because you don't talk. You just tell
me.
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No, no, I am not 16 anymore, all right?
I'm not going to follow your every word
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like it's gospel.
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All this because I want to move Jabari
to the couch?
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No. Darnell, this is about you thinking
you control everything.
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So now that you're all grown, I'm
supposed to shut the hell up.
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Right? Is that the type of man that you
want now?
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Fine. Whatever you want, dear.
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That's not what I meant, Arnell.
Whatever, dear. Stop it!
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Whatever, dear.
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We should have never come here.
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Whatever, dear.
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And
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she
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says what?
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You know I have an epileptic cat.
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William, what the hell are you doing
here?
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Oh, please tell me he's your friend. I
found him lurking in the bushes and I
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just invited him in. I hope I didn't let
in a crazy person.
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Yeah, you let in a crazy person.
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William, you need to go home.
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Oh, I'm just welcome wagging in your
fiancé and your little family.
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Making her feel comfortable since she'll
be seeing much more of me.
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I hope to be seeing more of her.
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William, get out.
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Call me if you need anything.
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I can reach things on high shelves.
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Your friend is so nice.
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He's very excited about our wedding. Is
he gay?
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About as gay as I am.
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Okay, Jennifer, about the wedding.
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We need to talk.
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See, up on that hill, I was in a bad
place. Oh, my God, you're leaving me.
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like my mother did.
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Jennifer, you think I'm worthless, too.
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Okay, listen. No, no, no, no. I get it.
I get it. You don't want me.
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Okay, so you know what? I'm going to
take a bath.
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Can I borrow your toaster?
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Wait, wait, wait. Wait a minute. Wait a
minute. You didn't let me finish.
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What I was trying to say is up there I
was in a bad place and you were in a bad
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place, but now we're here together in a
good place.
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And you know what? I know an even better
place.
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Hawaii.
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Let's just get married in Maui.
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I've always wanted to go to Hawaii.
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My mother wouldn't let me.
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Well, then Hawaii it is.
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Mahalo, my lover.
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William.
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00:10:11,730 --> 00:10:12,780
How could you?
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Look, I just made a few inquiries to see
how much we could get if we liquidated
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the complaint.
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00:10:18,090 --> 00:10:19,140
What?
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Nothing. What are you talking about?
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00:10:23,150 --> 00:10:27,530
How could you tell Lynn about our most
private moment?
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I was just so giddy about Lynn being a
lesbian, I was practically speaking in
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00:10:39,250 --> 00:10:43,589
tongues. Yeah, well, now the whole world
is going to know me as the O 'Jack
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girl. I said I was sorry.
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00:10:45,950 --> 00:10:49,490
No, I don't accept your apology,
William, okay?
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And there's only one way to clear my
name.
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You have to give me a second chance.
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00:10:58,630 --> 00:11:02,050
Oh, I do not have that kind of time.
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go out like this. Please, Joan, just...
I would rather just preserve the last
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00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,680
shred of respect I have for you.
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00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:16,160
Last shred of respect?
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00:11:17,620 --> 00:11:18,900
Last shred... What?
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00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:20,210
Oh, what?
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00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:22,380
So this is all on me now?
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00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,280
Wait a minute. I let you down?
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00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:31,440
Did it ever occur to you that maybe our
failure to connect was all your fault?
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00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:33,200
That you just couldn't turn me on?
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00:11:33,201 --> 00:11:39,039
just didn't have the moves. Huh? Maybe
he didn't have the manhood, the prowess
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00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:40,540
to get Joan Clayton to the big O.
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00:11:40,541 --> 00:11:45,419
You know what, William? You don't get to
the World Series just because you got a
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00:11:45,420 --> 00:11:46,159
big bath.
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00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:48,880
You need technique, buddy. You need
skills.
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00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:52,260
No, Joan, with you, I would need the
jaws of life.
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00:11:53,700 --> 00:11:55,480
You wouldn't go wet in the shower.
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00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,810
Kiss my ass, William. I tried that. It
didn't work.
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00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:04,370
I don't know how you voted for Bush
because you don't know anything about...
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00:12:04,910 --> 00:12:07,080
My Lord, if one knows how to screw
somebody.
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00:12:14,230 --> 00:12:17,190
I'm sorry. That was a good one. Yeah,
that was a good one.
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00:12:22,250 --> 00:12:26,030
Look, I'm sorry, Joan. I'm sorry about
that.
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00:12:27,850 --> 00:12:28,900
William,
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I'm just... I'm really sorry we didn't
work out.
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00:12:33,550 --> 00:12:34,610
Well, we work out.
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00:12:35,950 --> 00:12:37,000
We're friends.
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00:12:38,170 --> 00:12:40,880
Maybe we don't have the right to ask for
anything more.
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00:12:41,410 --> 00:12:48,329
But... I was just... I was
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00:12:48,330 --> 00:12:50,070
really hoping that you were the one.
241
00:12:50,930 --> 00:12:53,510
Because I don't want to go back out
there.
242
00:12:54,130 --> 00:12:55,180
I'm tired.
243
00:12:56,470 --> 00:12:57,520
Me too.
244
00:12:58,270 --> 00:12:59,320
And depressed.
245
00:13:00,510 --> 00:13:02,800
It's kind of banking on you being my
soulmate.
246
00:13:02,801 --> 00:13:07,499
If you're not going to be my soulmate,
then maybe one doesn't exist for me.
247
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:08,700
William, don't say that.
248
00:13:09,780 --> 00:13:12,680
Don't. Come on, your soulmate is out
there and so is mine.
249
00:13:14,540 --> 00:13:17,520
Oh, God.
250
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,860
What if they're out there doing each
other?
251
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:29,410
Those bastards.
252
00:13:42,090 --> 00:13:43,140
You too.
253
00:13:43,430 --> 00:13:45,050
Here's your little miracle.
254
00:13:45,870 --> 00:13:47,550
The jaundice is all cleared up.
255
00:13:47,810 --> 00:13:48,860
She's all yours.
256
00:13:48,950 --> 00:13:50,000
Thank you.
257
00:13:50,190 --> 00:13:51,240
Hey,
258
00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:53,340
sweetie.
259
00:13:53,970 --> 00:13:57,210
This is the yummiest baby that's not
yellow anymore.
260
00:13:57,970 --> 00:14:02,569
Tony without prejudice and no ego
involved. Oh, she is the prettiest baby
261
00:14:02,570 --> 00:14:03,620
born.
262
00:14:03,621 --> 00:14:08,769
Let's face it. Besides that one night we
kicked ass in charades and working is
263
00:14:08,770 --> 00:14:10,630
the best thing we'll ever do together.
264
00:14:17,780 --> 00:14:18,830
Say it, Todd.
265
00:14:18,831 --> 00:14:19,999
You were right.
266
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,050
I know.
267
00:14:22,060 --> 00:14:24,240
And it's hard to admit.
268
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:30,610
I don't want to be married to you. You
don't want to be married to me.
269
00:14:31,420 --> 00:14:37,000
I was just holding on to you because I
didn't want to miss out on her.
270
00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:39,290
You won't.
271
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:41,430
You're her day.
272
00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:44,620
It's hard to say the words.
273
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,200
Why don't we say them together?
274
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,450
On three?
275
00:14:57,520 --> 00:14:58,570
One.
276
00:14:59,220 --> 00:15:00,380
Two. It's over.
277
00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:05,350
What happened on three? I can't have
people thinking that you left me.
278
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:09,880
I'm going to miss you, Tony.
279
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:11,780
I'm going to miss you, too.
280
00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:22,690
You?
281
00:15:23,980 --> 00:15:25,030
Yeah.
282
00:15:26,260 --> 00:15:27,310
Oh.
283
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:59,820
And it's me saying that never does the
things you want me to do.
284
00:15:59,980 --> 00:16:04,420
And I scream you're not the man that
said.
285
00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:19,560
You gave me the same note in 11th grade.
286
00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:23,740
And look how we ended up.
287
00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:27,870
That's because a week after you got that
note, you was pregnant.
288
00:17:30,620 --> 00:17:33,030
We never did get to be boyfriend and
girlfriend.
289
00:17:34,380 --> 00:17:35,430
What are you saying?
290
00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:37,500
Saying we should start over.
291
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:40,400
Get to know each other again.
292
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,060
I'm thinking we should date.
293
00:17:45,290 --> 00:17:48,600
Ain't that going backwards, saying that
we're already married?
294
00:17:48,870 --> 00:17:50,550
Yeah, and I want us to stay that way.
295
00:17:52,210 --> 00:17:54,560
Can't survive another divorce from you,
Maya.
296
00:17:55,070 --> 00:17:59,070
Now, hey, I'm not trying to tell you how
it has to be.
297
00:18:00,810 --> 00:18:05,210
I just think we owe it to ourselves to
do whatever we can to make this work.
298
00:18:06,730 --> 00:18:07,780
I love you, baby.
299
00:18:12,190 --> 00:18:13,370
I know you love me.
300
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:19,070
We're the type of people who are always
going to love each other.
301
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:26,420
Okay, now, what I need, what we need,
okay,
302
00:18:26,460 --> 00:18:32,799
maybe what we need is to promise each
other
303
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,260
that we're going to make this work.
304
00:18:36,260 --> 00:18:38,660
Okay? What do you think?
305
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:40,300
I can do that.
306
00:18:40,580 --> 00:18:43,380
Well, could a brother get that in
writing?
307
00:18:45,740 --> 00:18:47,120
Will you be my girlfriend?
308
00:18:48,020 --> 00:18:49,070
Yes?
309
00:18:49,540 --> 00:18:50,590
No?
310
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,050
No, maybe.
311
00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:58,130
Maybe.
312
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:06,740
I was too easy last time. I'm not making
that mistake again.
313
00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:20,509
Let me get this straight.
314
00:19:20,510 --> 00:19:24,770
Uh, Tony, you are still married to Todd.
315
00:19:24,970 --> 00:19:26,710
Yes, but we're getting a divorce.
316
00:19:27,850 --> 00:19:33,749
And Lynn, you are in a committed
relationship with a lesbian. No,
317
00:19:33,750 --> 00:19:36,760
in a relationship with a lesbian that
needs to be committed.
318
00:19:36,930 --> 00:19:40,590
And Maya, you married Darnell again.
319
00:19:40,910 --> 00:19:42,590
Yeah, yeah, but we're only dating.
320
00:19:43,270 --> 00:19:47,730
Right, so as screwed up as all of your
relationships are, you...
321
00:19:47,731 --> 00:19:49,619
Still have more than me.
322
00:19:49,620 --> 00:19:54,170
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