Original subtitles

Ow! Oh, oh, oh.

Who would you like to call?

Joan.

Calling.

Hello? Gross time.

I'm in labor. I just felt a sharp pain in my lower back.

Ow! It just happened again. Oh, my God, they're like every ten seconds.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay, okay, um...

Okay, I'm on my way, Tony. I'm on my way, so just breathe. Breathe.

Remember to breathe.

Okay.

Cleansing breath.

Joan.

Calling.

Sweetie, I'm coming. I'm in the car. You're doing great.

Sorry, girl. My bad.

I'm not in labor.

I just fell asleep on the remote.

Tony.

Hey, but since you're in the car anyway, swing by Quick Mart and pick me up some

cheese nips. Ooh, and a pickle.

Play me another one.

There's an homage to the dainty feet.

Come on, they're not dainty.

No, they're kind of stinky, though.

Who's that?

One of your girls?

I don't know. I'm answering it.

Yeah, I'll see you then.

I got a date. I'll see you later.

Oh, no, you won't. I mean, if you have a date, just go. Be on a date.

You can't come running back to me.

No, I'm in a rehearsal.

Oh. Yeah.

Right.

You know, I'm just curious.

We just spent two days together.

How do you have the energy to be with another woman?

Meaning?

Meaning you spend two days with someone. It just seems a little odd that you

feel the need to...

Run right off and be with somebody else.

What, we're going steady now?

That's so childish.

Unless you want to.

I knew you couldn't handle it.

Handle what?

Us.

What do you mean?

You're jealous. No, I'm not. Yes, you are. No, I'm not. I'm just saying.

I don't know how you have the energy.

I mean, I'm impressed.

Me, I need a nap.

So I'll see you at rehearsal.

Okay.

So we're good?

Yeah, he's over at Armandi's.

Jabari! Come on and get in here! Your daddy's here!

I could have did that from the car. Yeah, but you didn't.

His backpack's right there.

Oh.

Maya, Lena needs a head count for the wedding. You coming or what?

I told Jabari that I'd be there. I think it's important to show a united front,

no matter how stupid I think this whole thing is.

Okay, great. That's one more thing I can scratch off my honeydew list.

Wait a minute.

You're marrying a woman who gives you a list?

Let me see that.

Get a tuck?

Call your mama.

Get a band.

She hasn't gotten a band? What kind of wedding planning is she doing?

Well, that was on me. Actually, she thinks we have a band.

Boy, your wedding is in two days.

Well, I better get on it then.

Oh, you got a Yellow Pages up in here?

You know, Lynn's in a band.

Really? Can you hook that up for me?

I can call her.

Hey, Lynn!

What?

Hey, girl, you still in that band?

Yeah! Y 'all play when?

How much they payin'? How much you got?

Two hundred.

Please, the only thing you're saving is your ass. That extra 50's for me.

Hi.

What the hell are you doing? Stop it. I'm trying to fish my keys out of this

stupid water feature. What were you thinking when you designed this place?

Excuse me?

Well, who puts a bar across a creek?

Drunks can't walk a straight line. How are they going to hop from rock to rock?

If you have a problem with my design, why am I just hearing about it now?

Because when you designed it, I was in love with you, and I cared about your

feelings. Now, but I'm not.

I don't.

Look at it. This place is ridiculous.

Don't know whether I'm coming or going.

For God's sake, woman, if I wanted to hunch over a low table and eat some

snacks, I could do it at home in front of the TV.

We're stopping you, William.

Because my keys have been sucked into your pump.

Still cute?

Still cute?

Still cute? Still cute?

Tony, will you slow down?

Girl, we're not... What?

Nine months pregnant? See, this is how I stay cute. While you three barren

bitches are sagging as we speak.

pregnant, I'd kick her surprisingly athletic ass.

Gotta catch me first.

So anyway, Joan, what were you saying?

I was saying that William's not over the breakup, and now he's taking it out on

the restaurant.

That fool ain't done more than you yet.

I mean, for real, Joan, you ain't all that.

True that.

Anyway, he used to be comfortable talking about the restaurant, and now he

even talk about that.

Oh, well, then let's talk about me.

Now, how did I, queen of love him and leave him, get all strung in over some

guy?

I'm not in love.

I don't know why you'd want to be with one who's fucked with so many people.

That's just nasty.

Because I'm in love, you idiot. Karma.

Yeah, I guess that's true. I'm in love with a man who's marrying another woman.

Tragic.

Can I ask you guys a question? With all this drama, why are we huffing over this

part? So we can look perfect for the next man who screws us over.

Not even dilated, honey. And we need the beds, so go home. Okay, how will I know

when I'm really in labor?

It'll sound something like that.

Exactly, so go home.

All right, but it's on you if I pop this baby out in the backseat of Jones Camry

and my child suffers a stigma having been born in a mid -price sedan.

Come on, Tony, let's go.

This baby out.

Guys, as long as we're here, open up your pockets.

Help me load up on some gauze, pads, ointment, and Q -tips.

For what?

I need a reason?

Guys, you know what?

I was just thinking, God gave me this false alarm for a reason.

Why? So we'd have to carry a Y -low down off that mountain?

No, it just occurred to me, once the baby gets here, my life will never be

same.

And, of course, I'll have a full -time staff tied in all of you to do the hard

work. But this kid's severely going to limit my me time.

Between now and labor, I need to live it up.

I need to book me a quick trip to Maui.

You're in no condition to travel.

Who are you telling? If I want to be laying on the beach, I need to watch my

business.

Oh, good. That's Tony. Oh, she's good. She's at home resting. But I got my

on vibrate and KP gold.

Hey,

hey, hey, excuse me. What's going on over there? Some crazy pregnant lady's

there acting a fool.

What if my ex -wife recommended them? I'm telling you, they're good.

So you heard them play?

Would I book a band I ain't never heard?

Ladies and gentlemen, the gig proudly presents Dean's Number.

of Richie.

Lena.

Lena, come on.

Go to hell.

All right, I'll meet you back at the house, baby.

Traveling paradise.

Because of you.

Me? Oh, don't play dumb.

See, I know you're trying to sabotage my wedding.

What are you talking about?

You're the one who talked me into that bed.

up on the stage who's getting ready to drink the Kool -Aid.

Wait a minute, Darnell. You're the one who waited so long to buck the band,

okay? Maybe you're sabotaging your wedding. Maybe you don't want to marry

huh? What do you think about that?

You just won't be happy until you mess this up for me. You know what? Uh -uh.

But it ain't gonna work. It ain't gonna work, Maya.

Whether you like it or not, I'm marrying Lee.

Oh, yeah. And tell your friend with the band she's fired.

What's with the attitude?

No attitude.

Since all you care about is your investment, that's how your investment

doing. So good night.

What's going on up there?

Since it is business related, I have a fiduciary responsibility to tell you.

We are looking for a signature drink for the restaurant. And right now, the top

two contenders are the J Spottini and the Tapas Tini.

How about to get drunk and fall in the legacy?

You know what?

I went back, William, and I read the reviews.

Okay, the review.

Fine dimension.

But they loved the decor.

What? Come on, William, you know you have unresolved issues with the way we

ended our relationship.

It's about the fact that I've invested in a restaurant.

We'll river run through it.

No, you are using this restaurant to work out your issues and to mourn our

relationship. I'm done mourning.

And the only issue I have is why don't we have any life jackets in this half

-assed water park?

This water feature is calming, and it is aesthetically pleasing, and it is...

I think we should call it.

What?

Let's just be about the music.

What?

That's what we ought to do.

We should fill the barn up with gin, put little mixers up on the bar.

Then people can make their own martini.

You just have to get that by -the -board out.

No problem, no problem.

It's alcohol.

And alcohol kills germs on contract.

Contact.

Contact.

Contact.

Oh, my God.

Why do we have to laugh like this in so long?

Oh, I know.

I'm just having fun with you.

So... There's nothing...

deep and dark and unresolved that we need to resolve.

Probably, but who cares?

I'm glad that we're back to normal, William. And who knew that it would take

bottles of gin and one jar of olives?

You know that it's very, very important to eat when you drink.

See, John, that's why you're my friend.

Because you know things.

Useful things.

Things a person can use.

Well, that is why you are my friend. Because you use

so many things.

To friendship!

To friendship!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I'm so beautiful I don't want to cry!

Hey, Maya.

Darnell, what are you doing here at 3 o 'clock in the morning?

What are you doing here?

You should have been at my bachelor party.

Them strippers was hot.

Darnell. But not as hot as you, baby.

Darnell, go home.

What? I'm home.

I'm home.

My home is with you, girl. No, your home is with Lena.

Lena?

I don't love no Lena.

I ain't got no business with Lena.

Ooh, come here, come here, come here.

Come on, little mama.

Come snuggle up next to Big Papa.

Darnell, Leroy Wilkes.

You are drunk.

Yeah, I'm drunk.

I'm drunk with Maya.

Maya, Maya.

It's always been you, girl.

You know we belong together.

Love you, Maya.

Todd. Oh, my God. Todd, relax.

I don't even know why Joan called you. I'm fine.

Of course, I'm taking it easy.

Trust me, my feet are up.

I will.

Okay.

Love you.

Excuse me.

Yeah, look here. I'm deeply pregnant. Now, it did say it was only a three

tour. It better be.

You wouldn't believe what happened to me on the last one.