All language subtitles for Girlfriends s05e05 Maybe Baby.eng

Tony, what part of let's share the
dessert didn't you understand?

This baby is hungry.

No, your baby is Jabba the Hutt.

Don't call my baby out his name. You
don't hear me talking about your booty's

big head, do you?

Okay, first of all, Jabari does not have
a big head.

What happens is that his shoulders are
very narrow.

And you know what they say, the narrower
the shoulders, the broader the mind.

Which brings us back to that big old
head.

Okay, would you please get off of my
son's head?

Okay. It's not like you're perfect.

Is that hit on my stomach? Because
pregnant or not, I'm still skinnier than

y 'all, and I got a man.

Or sort of. I think that's nice.

Todd's coming home?

Yeah, for the baby's three -month
appointment.

Okay, and you haven't been yapping about
it all week and worrying us to death?

Tony, I am proud of you.

Well, the reason I haven't been worrying
you guys is because I've been too busy

plotting, planning, and laying traps.

I'm trying to get my life back the way
it was before.

You mean like when your man left you and
you made a fool of yourself in New

York?

No, when I was happily married and
everything was about me.

You hear that, kid? It was all about me.
Me, me, me.

Oh, God, I think I'm going to be sick.

Jeez, it's beach, I don't like ugly.

My girlfriend.

My girlfriend.

My girlfriend.

My girlfriend.

My girlfriend.

I didn't think you two could be more
fabulous.

Okay, listen, kid.

If you screw up tonight for me, I have
two words for you.

Walmart clothes.

Hello, little

big boy.

What's going on?

This is your welcome home party.

Let me unwrap.

Your gift.

Not now.

Okay.

Lights on.

Freaky.

Tony, stop.

I'm just here for the three -month
checkup. Oh, yeah. Remind me to...

that. What time did I say it was again?

I don't know, Tony. Look.

I'm going to bed. I'm exhausted.

Well, you should be exhausted working
night and day on that stupid reality

If you want reality, I'm here.

I'm real.

I'm ready to lay it on you for real.

Tony, didn't you hear me? I'm exhausted.

Well, you wouldn't be if you quit that
job and moved back home. Well, the baby

on the way. I need this job now more
than ever. No.

What you need is some of my good stuff.

No. what I need is a shower.

Oh, okay. Well, I'll just meet you in
there. Alone, Tony.

Hmm.

That's probably for the best. All those
New York bagels got you a little hippie.

Guys,

it's like 11 o 'clock at night. What the
hell are we still doing here?

We're here because we don't have live.

And I don't have a man.

Oh, and Tony is skinnier.

Yeah.

My son's head is kind of big.

Hey, guys.

Hey, what are you guys doing here?

We're just popping in for a quick drink.

We're heading over to Williams for a
midnight dip in a hot tub.

We better get going, baby.

Enjoy your little girl's night out.

I hate her.

Bet. Guys, stop. I'm overhating Monica.

Why? She's in love with your man.

Yo, man, I'm sorry, girl. I still wake
up laughing at that one.

William is not my man.

I've moved on.

Having no man.

Being fatter than a pregnant woman.

Ah, hell.

Order me a cheesecake and a side of ice
cream.

Oh, and a pie.

Waiter!

William's friend we met a few months
ago.

Oh, Blue Bar, right? Right.

So, hey.

Hey.

Yeah.

Nice seeing you. Oh, you too.

Oh, and good luck on your new
restaurant.

William told me about it the other night
at dinner.

Dinner? Oh, yeah. We went to this
fabulous restaurant.

So, you and William went to dinner?

Is that a problem? Because I thought you
two were just friends. Oh, we are. Just

friends. Nothing more. No siree. Not on
your life.

Why? Did he say something about me?

No, no, no. Nothing like that. It's
just, you know, some men can be real

Yeah. And thank God there's some good
ones out there.

Like William. Right.

Kara.

Gosh.

I couldn't forgive myself if I didn't
say something.

I mean, I'm not one to speak out of
turn, you know, be all up in people's

business, you know, open their Kool -Aid
without knowing whether it's from a

package or sweet, you know.

Look, um... William is seeing another
woman.

What? Oh, I wish it weren't so, but it
is so, so, so sorry.

Who is she?

We are in business together. I mean,
this is already getting a little messy

here. I am not saying another word. I've
already said too much.

All right.

I understand.

Oh, God, you're relentless.

Okay. God.

Her name is Monica.

And if you want to know where she lives,
I'll drive you up there. Come on.

Kind of cozy in here, huh?

Yeah, cozy is cold, sterile, and kind of
small.

Well, you should know how small turns me
on.

Tony, stop it.

Look at those shoes. They gave you
slippers.

You're right.

I've been naughty.

Spank me.

What are you doing?

Trying to play horny doctor and naughty
Latina.

Hi, puppy.

Tony. Whoa, get a room. Preferably not
this one.

See, that kind of nookie's what got you
in here in the first place.

Hi, doctor.

This is my husband. See, I told you I
had one. Hi, Garrett.

Dr. Couch.

So, anything new to report? Any problems
with your pregnancy?

Oh, the only problem I've been having is
being so lonely from missing my baby

daddy, but I found a cure.

Isn't that right, lover?

Well, your heart rate seems to be okay.
Your temperature's right on target.

Apparently, your hormones are having a
bizarre effect on your behavior. Well,

maybe you should check my temperature
again, because I've been very hot.

For my husband.

Stop. This is embarrassing. Now, now,
Dr. Garrett, you better get it while you

can. In a few months, it's going to be
like trying to make rain in the Sahara.

Rain in the Sahara.

All righty, then. Let's get to the main
event.

Okay? Tony, would you mind laying back,
please?

I'm going to have to put a little of
this gel on your abdomen. It may be a

little cold.

Oh. Okay?

Here we go.

Oh, there it is.

There's a heartbeat.

Todd, do you hear it?

Todd, do you hear it? That's your baby.
Todd, Todd, do you hear it? That's your

baby. No, it's just screaming in my ear.

Dr. Couch, Dr. Frisco is on line one.
All right, I'm going to have to take

You'll have to excuse me.

Doctor? Thank you.

Wow.

I'm going to be a father.

Todd, I knew it.

All you had to do was hear it, then
you'd know we belong together.

We're a family.

I know, I know it's going to take us
some time to get back on track, but at

least now we're both on the same page.
Stop it.

Stop acting like this baby is a magic
wand that's going to fix everything.

But you just hugged me. It was a reflex.

Reflex?

Tony, this is hard for me.

You still love me. Yes, I do.

Then what's the problem?

Let's work it out, Todd.

I don't want to talk about this now.
Then when?

When? I'm sick and tired of not knowing.

It's real simple, Todd. Either you want
me or you don't. All right, Tony.

I didn't want to talk about this now,
but I do want to be a father to this

but I don't want to be your husband.

I've already consulted an attorney, and
he's drawing up separation papers.

I want a divorce.

How did it go?

Did you hear the heartbeat? That stupid
little schmuck. Tony, stop talking about

the baby. That way they can hear
everything.

Todd, your daddy's a stupid little
schmuck.

Tony, what happened?

Todd has the nerve to say, our marriage
is over.

Has he been saying that for months now?

But now he's saying it to an attorney.

Guys, he wants a divorce.

Oh, gosh.

Tony, what are you going to do?

I'm going to fight fire with fire.

I'm going to make it so hard for him
every step of the way, I'm going to get

nastiest damn divorce attorney in
Beverly Hills. Whatever he throws at me,

throw it right back at him twice as
hard. I'm going to put him through the

wringer and take every penny that he
doesn't have. At the end of the day,

come crawling back, begging me for
mercy, and then we will live happily

after.

Girl, you've got to be realistic about
this, okay?

If Todd has already contacted a lawyer,

there may not be any happily ever after.

The hell?

There will be some happiness all up and
through.

Todd wants a divorce.

You are pregnant.

Face reality.

I mean, you may be a single mother and
you need to prepare for that.

But Todd is excited about being a
father. That doesn't mean he wants to be

you.

I hate to be the one to say this to you,
but I mean, you need to stop looking at

this baby as a means to an end.

Maybe it's time to refocus and figure
out what it's going to be like to raise

this baby alone.

Girl, come on. You're not going to be
totally alone, okay?

You got us.

Yeah, but don't count on me, because I'm
kind of going through something right

now.

Lynn?

What's going on? I'm fighting the
suspension of my mortuary cosmetology

What?

Okay, let me ask you.

Wouldn't it make for a happier funeral
if the deceased looked like a clown?

Carol.

William.

Monica.

Start. Speak now.

Double.

Look, before you two start in on what a
no good brother I am. And don't forget

trifling. Dan, sorry. I was honest with
the both of you from the beginning.

No strings, no commitments, no cuddling
after. That's where I am in my life

right now.

But if you two aren't interested, then I
can respect that. But no apologies.

He is honest.

And so damn sexy when he's taking
control of the situation.

But still, I don't share no man.

I mean, look at me.

Look at me.

Oh, you're doing a pinch, but I'll be
damned if I'm going to back off and let

you have her. Oh, please.

I'll take care of him so well he won't
have a need for you. Now, I know this

Amazon did not just this.

Perhaps we should take this someplace
where it's safer to wrestle.

You know what, William?

Keep seeing this hustle.

It'll just make me look better.

Enjoy your dinner, Kara. And, William,
see you for dessert.

Now that I know all about this mess, I
can clean it up.

And I need to thank your friend, Joan,
for giving me the heads up.

Joan!

Come on in.

Well, Joan, your little plan has
backfired.

What little plan?

The one where you try and throw salt in
my game.

William, the day you have game is the
day I want to marry you and have a

of your corny ass, damn collecting,
Republican -loving, ashy -kneed little

Oh, my God.

It finally makes sense to me.

You're trying to sabotage my
relationships, your constant bickering,

looked at my butt the other day.

You want me.

Me? Want you?

You must be crazy.

And about your butt, I was looking. But,
hint, they sell low -carb now.

Avoidance. Classic Joan Clayton. For
once, be honest with yourself.

I've just been so scared to tell you.

I can't hide it anymore.

We belong together.

I don't know why it took me so long to
admit it. I love you.

And I want you.

Not!

You

thought

I was serious.

every time I see you.

Face it, you're jealous.

Of what, cuckoo man?

The fact that I have women waiting by
the phone and you're waiting for the

train to Old Maidsville.

What women, huh? Your mama?

Or that gross woman who waxes your back?
Or Nada?

Who's Nada?

Nada, chance in hell you got women
waiting by the phone.

Get ready to pick your face up off the
floor.

Hello? Hey, Monica.

Hey, sweetie.

So I'm going to see you later for
dessert?

I'll be waiting.

So, what does that mean?

Huh? Shh, woman.

Hello? Hey, Carol.

Hey, William.

Am I going to see you tomorrow for
breakfast?

got options baby what have you got oh
please you think you're the only one

that's got options william i've got so
many options that my options have

that have other options optioning and
then just give me this uh

uh put it on speakerphone

Next stop, Old Maidsville.

Continuing on to Bittertown and
Barrenwood.

Hey, guys.

Hey.

Where have you been all day? I called
you.

I've been doing what you said. You know,
thinking about my future and about the

pregnancy, about being a single mom, and
I've made some decisions.

Don't be.

That's great.

I'm not having the baby.

What? Todd's not coming back.

I need to move on, get my life back on
track. You guys are right.

Look, Tony, that is not what we meant.

Yeah, we just wanted you to get excited
about the baby for the right reason.

Okay, listen.

The only reason I was going through with
the whole thing was because of Todd.

If Todd's not in the picture, what's the
point? I never wanted to be a mother,

and I still have some time to do
something about it. Tony, come on. Look,

there's other options.

Like what?

Adoption. Yes.

What if my mother thought that about me?

Okay, you know, Tony, you might not want
to be a mother, but somebody out there

does. Why would I want to ruin my
fabulous body for somebody I don't even

Then you need to rethink the single mom
thing.

Okay, girl, your life doesn't stop just
because you're a single mother.

Yeah, look at Maya.

She's never with her kids.

What about Todd?

This is his baby, too. You can't make a
decision about something like this all

by yourself. Why not?

He decided that this marriage is over. I
figure it's my turn to make some

decisions.

No, no, no.

No, she's right.

I am selfish.

I'm a selfish bitch. I know it, and so
do you guys.

That's why I screwed up being a wife,
and that is why I will screw up being a

mother. Okay, so I'm just going to go
back to being selfish, fabulous, solo

Tony. As a matter of fact, let's toast
to it.

Hey! Can I get a gin and tonic? Tony,
stop it.

You're just acting.

Don't tell me what I'm doing, Joan.

You're just mad because you don't like
my decision. If you guys can't respect

it, too bad. Sit here and cry about it.

I'll have my drink someplace else. Tony.
Leave me alone. Tony, wait a minute.

Shut up and leave me alone. Tony.

Tony.

Oh, my God. Tony.

Tony, are you okay?

Are you okay?

Hey, Tony.

Hey, girl.

Hey. The minute I fell.

I didn't think about my shoes, or my
nails, or even Todd.

All I thought about was my baby. Oh, my
God.

Please, get me to a hospital.

Okay, come on.

Go slow.

Hey, sweetie.

Gave Mom a little scare.

Well, the doctor said you're going to be
all right.

Now, I know you heard it.

Daddy's trying to divorce me, but don't
worry.

Men don't always get what they want,
like on prom night.

We'll discuss that a little later.

Oh, sweetness.

I just want you to know that I love you
so much.

And I can't wait to meet you.

But look here.

I'm a petite little thing. Don't be
popping out with no big old bobblehead.

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