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My girlfriend.
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For anything.
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My girlfriend.
4
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I'm sorry. Is William here?
5
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Is this her?
6
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Is this the bitch they're leaving me
for? Trina, I told you there's no one
7
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I just don't want you.
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You were all over me when I bought you
that fancy night on a burgdorf. I'm
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sorry. I think I have the wrong woman.
Oh, don't try to slink away. Stop it. I
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don't know her.
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You lying lipstick.
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I'm pregnant.
13
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Tony, you're not pregnant.
14
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Todd, I'm standing here telling you that
I'm pregnant and... Right, right,
15
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right. Tony, who won't sweat out her
hair for anybody, is pregnant?
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Yes. Then you won't have any trouble
taking a test. In fact, we could go get
17
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right now. I'm not taking no damn test.
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How dare you, Todd? I'm your wife.
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I am pregnant. I don't have to prove it
to you. Yes, you do. Because the sad
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fact is, I don't believe a word you say.
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We're over.
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Look, little man.
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We are married and we're having a baby.
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Okay? You need to get home, so I suggest
you say these little bye -byes to
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Natalie. I will be on the 240 to L .A.
tomorrow. You better be on that plane.
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Taxi!
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The Royale, and step on it, buddy.
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Ma 'am, this is the Royale.
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Then take me to the plaza. You're
ruining my exit.
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rooftop, I realized it was a sign that I
should let William go.
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I was spared from something.
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Hello!
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We're talking about me?
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I saw you went to the wrong floor and
got caught up in some lesbian drama.
35
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Who has them?
36
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We're talking about the sense of life.
Of my life.
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And I was right there in front of me and
I couldn't say a word.
38
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Why didn't you just tell me you were his
daughter?
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Because I
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It took money to abandon me. Maybe we
were both spared something.
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I mean, when I was hiding in the baby
grand in the lounge, I decided the
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universe cut me a break.
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Maybe we could just count our blessings
and get the hell back to L .A.
44
00:02:52,330 --> 00:02:53,630
Oh, please, Joan.
45
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I use universe excuse all the time, and
it's a bunch of crap.
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You know why it's a bunch of crap?
47
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Because I use it to run away from
everything in the universe, just like I
48
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tonight.
49
00:03:05,190 --> 00:03:08,410
Lynn, what are you so afraid of?
Everything!
50
00:03:09,130 --> 00:03:10,180
And then nothing.
51
00:03:10,470 --> 00:03:11,610
And then everything.
52
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But mostly, I'm afraid that an evil
clown will kill me in my sleep.
53
00:03:18,730 --> 00:03:20,110
Okay, I'm afraid of that too.
54
00:03:21,470 --> 00:03:28,389
Anyway, when I sober up, I just think
I'm going to be more afraid that
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I realize that William's the man of my
dreams.
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And I've blown it.
57
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Okay, let's look at that.
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In the morning, I'm going to tell
William how I feel, and you are going to
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your birth father who you are.
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00:03:45,241 --> 00:03:49,319
Wait a minute. What? William's in the
hotel. Why don't you just tell him now?
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Because I've got blisters on my feet and
a lesbian on my ass.
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00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:59,420
Annette, you want some eggs with that
bacon?
63
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:02,150
Sweet Jesus!
64
00:04:03,860 --> 00:04:05,160
What are you doing here?
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00:04:06,220 --> 00:04:07,270
I'm your daughter.
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00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:14,210
FYI, you might not want to have a doggy
door that big.
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00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:18,640
I don't smell that bacon cooking that we
got to be in church in a half an hour.
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Oh, heck, what did the dog drag in this
time?
69
00:04:28,860 --> 00:04:33,460
Well, William, this certainly was
serendipitous.
70
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,440
And hot, too.
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00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,260
That's one thing we always said, huh?
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More reasons than you'll ever know, your
timing was perfect.
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I'm glad we had this chance to
reconnect, because now when we look
74
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always have New York.
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And rope runs.
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00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:54,100
Maybe I'll call when I'm back in L .A.
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Maybe I'll answer.
78
00:05:01,460 --> 00:05:06,139
I'm telling you, I'm telling your
manager, and I'm telling Mayor Bloomberg
79
00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:07,600
himself, okay, sweetie?
80
00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:12,120
Ain't nobody had and ain't nobody going
to pay for a $20 Kit Kat.
81
00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:17,210
Oh, William.
82
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,460
Oh, excuse me. Excuse me.
83
00:05:22,540 --> 00:05:24,460
I'm so glad I ran into you. I'm sorry.
84
00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:29,659
I'm not gay. And I'm in a really big
hurry. I just wanted to apologize for
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00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:33,260
night. My girlfriend, my ex -girlfriend.
Well, she's just.
86
00:05:34,180 --> 00:05:36,680
Crazy. Which is why I broke up with her.
Really?
87
00:05:36,940 --> 00:05:40,960
It's no big deal. I had a big meal, and
Chase helped me work it off, okay?
88
00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:43,320
I'm in a really big hurry. Okay.
89
00:05:44,220 --> 00:05:45,270
Oh, no.
90
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:48,120
You can just flaunt her in front of me.
Oh, hell.
91
00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:52,440
Excuse me. Excuse me. Wait, wait, wait.
92
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:54,810
Wait a second.
93
00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:57,550
Okay.
94
00:06:01,260 --> 00:06:03,730
I'm telling you, Todd is going to be on
this plane.
95
00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:07,559
Well, Tony, what if he's not? He will
be. Girl, take your negative energy on
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00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:10,210
back to roll 98 of where the hell you
are. Go. Bye. See you.
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00:06:11,340 --> 00:06:12,920
Oh, Maya.
98
00:06:13,420 --> 00:06:15,160
You couldn't wait to board with us?
99
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:19,699
And miss my opportunity to laugh at you
coach losing tracking vibe with your
100
00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:20,379
snack pack?
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00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,430
I don't think so.
102
00:06:22,540 --> 00:06:23,590
Cow.
103
00:06:25,940 --> 00:06:28,890
Cow's about to knock back another free
glass of champagne.
104
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,700
Oh, goodness. I'm so sorry. Excuse me.
105
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Hand me the Cheetos right there.
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I've got to eat for the next six hours.
107
00:06:38,470 --> 00:06:39,520
Oh, William.
108
00:06:40,130 --> 00:06:42,240
Oh, hey, Joan. You're on this flight,
too?
109
00:06:42,530 --> 00:06:44,870
Yeah. Well, excuse me. I'm sorry.
110
00:06:44,871 --> 00:06:48,329
I want to talk to my friend. Excuse me,
ma 'am. We have a full flight. It's just
111
00:06:48,330 --> 00:06:51,589
going to take a second. No, ma 'am.
Please. I need you to take your seat.
112
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Okay.
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William, I'll talk to you later.
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Okay. Oh, my apple.
115
00:06:59,370 --> 00:07:02,270
Anyway, as I was saying, it's a self -
116
00:07:02,271 --> 00:07:08,799
He talks about turning it into a
screenplay. And in the role of me, I was
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00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:10,240
actually thinking of Vivica.
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Vivica Fox.
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Here it is.
120
00:07:16,820 --> 00:07:18,640
Excuse me.
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That's my seat.
122
00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:26,579
Don't get up. I'll just... I can just
squeeze in here. You know what? I'll pop
123
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over. Why don't I just get up?
124
00:07:28,660 --> 00:07:30,040
Thank you. That's a good idea.
125
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:34,520
You know, you can keep the windows open
if you'd like.
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00:07:36,190 --> 00:07:37,240
I like the aisle.
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00:07:37,630 --> 00:07:42,589
You know what? I only offered because
the man I love is in first class, and I
128
00:07:42,590 --> 00:07:45,109
was thinking that once we get up in the
air, I'm probably going to want to go up
129
00:07:45,110 --> 00:07:46,160
there and walk to him.
130
00:07:46,710 --> 00:07:49,900
She's one of those who likes to get up
and down during the flight.
131
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:54,669
Yes, exactly, and I didn't want to
disturb you. Then don't, because I'm
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taking the aisle.
133
00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:58,410
I said no. Ma 'am, please.
134
00:07:59,030 --> 00:08:02,880
We cannot pull back from the gate until
you sit down and buckle your seatbelt.
135
00:08:02,881 --> 00:08:05,809
That's the point. We're not going
anywhere until my husband's on this
136
00:08:05,810 --> 00:08:07,610
-oh, there he comes now. Honey, honey.
137
00:08:08,710 --> 00:08:09,810
Oh, my bad.
138
00:08:10,650 --> 00:08:13,840
That's not him, but keep your eyes open.
He's around that height.
139
00:08:13,841 --> 00:08:18,129
You know what? I'm sorry. I cannot just
sit here the whole flight and not tell
140
00:08:18,130 --> 00:08:19,029
him how I feel.
141
00:08:19,030 --> 00:08:20,290
I'll be right back, okay?
142
00:08:20,430 --> 00:08:21,480
I'll be right back.
143
00:08:24,230 --> 00:08:25,950
Do I have to call security?
144
00:08:25,951 --> 00:08:28,209
Only if you think they're holding my
husband.
145
00:08:28,210 --> 00:08:29,530
We have one more passenger.
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That would be my husband.
147
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:36,059
I'm gone, Becky. Prepare for takeoff.
148
00:08:41,780 --> 00:08:42,830
Monica?
149
00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:44,370
Monica?
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00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:47,520
Monica? Becky?
151
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,840
Got some popsicles up and through.
152
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:01,770
Excuse me.
153
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:14,800
What the hell?
154
00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:17,490
Look,
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I'm not going to stop you, but I'm not
paying for this. I'm sorry.
156
00:09:20,901 --> 00:09:24,719
Oh, my God, I didn't mean to disturb
you. Look, if you don't want to disturb
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00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:27,420
may I make a suggestion? Yes. Sit your
ass down.
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00:09:33,821 --> 00:09:39,149
I've been looking for the man of my
dreams my whole life.
159
00:09:39,150 --> 00:09:42,129
And now he's right up there in first
class, only he doesn't know how I feel
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00:09:42,130 --> 00:09:45,169
because I went to the wrong door in the
middle of the night and got chased by
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00:09:45,170 --> 00:09:46,550
some psychopathic lesbian.
162
00:09:46,790 --> 00:09:50,649
Now he's sitting up there with his
conniving black widow ex -girlfriend
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00:09:50,650 --> 00:09:54,449
going to seduce him and steal him away
from me, and he's going to be lost to me
164
00:09:54,450 --> 00:09:57,950
forever, all because you won't pry
yourself out of your damn seat.
165
00:09:59,470 --> 00:10:03,429
I don't even know the guy, but I have a
feeling I'd be doing him a favor if I
166
00:10:03,430 --> 00:10:04,480
just sat here.
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00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:09,459
I don't mean you any disrespect, but I
hate you. And when I die alone, I'm
168
00:10:09,460 --> 00:10:11,360
to come back and haunt your fat ass.
169
00:10:12,940 --> 00:10:17,499
We are an hour and a half out of New
York. Your husband cannot get on this
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00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:20,930
plane. He could if we landed in
Cleveland and he caught a bullet train.
171
00:10:20,931 --> 00:10:23,259
I'm going to have to ask you to take
your seat.
172
00:10:23,260 --> 00:10:26,199
Okay, look, I just need to know if he
showed up at all. Can't you just call
173
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:29,479
gate and see if there's some swarthy
short man wandering around with some
174
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:33,779
I told you, everyone on the manifest
boarded. Why are you trying to hijack my
175
00:10:33,780 --> 00:10:34,920
happiness? Hi, Jack.
176
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,000
What's this? Do we have a situation?
177
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:39,160
No, no, no, no. We're fine. We're fine.
178
00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:44,719
Ma 'am, you can't be standing when the
seatbelt light is on. But here's the
179
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,520
gotcha. It ain't on.
180
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:48,210
It is now.
181
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:50,130
What?
182
00:10:56,580 --> 00:11:00,599
So, William, now that we're back
together... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow
183
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,600
roll. It was just one night.
184
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:04,750
Nobody said we're back together.
185
00:11:04,870 --> 00:11:08,490
Mr. Dent, you've gotten cocky now that
you've seen your partner.
186
00:11:08,491 --> 00:11:11,889
How did you know I made seeing your
partner?
187
00:11:11,890 --> 00:11:13,390
Because you told me last night.
188
00:11:13,550 --> 00:11:14,600
No, I didn't.
189
00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:19,370
Okay, so I kept tabs on you.
190
00:11:19,590 --> 00:11:23,349
But when we ran into each other
yesterday... No, we didn't just run into
191
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,150
other. Monica, I know how you operate.
192
00:11:25,230 --> 00:11:28,410
You spin your web, you mate, you kill.
193
00:11:28,890 --> 00:11:32,270
William, I swear, it really was a
coincidence this time.
194
00:11:32,670 --> 00:11:33,720
It doesn't matter.
195
00:11:33,990 --> 00:11:36,130
Let's just keep it light and be friends.
196
00:11:38,110 --> 00:11:40,160
What we did last night, friends don't
do.
197
00:11:40,510 --> 00:11:41,570
Oh, come on, Monica.
198
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:43,890
Friends have sleepovers all the time.
199
00:11:45,730 --> 00:11:47,570
We do play well together, don't we?
200
00:11:48,310 --> 00:11:50,110
I do love to share my toys.
201
00:11:51,510 --> 00:11:53,850
And I have a toy box you can store them
in.
202
00:11:54,890 --> 00:11:58,800
All right, unless this is heading toward
a playground, I think we better stop.
203
00:12:09,361 --> 00:12:11,229
I got you some nuts.
204
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:12,169
There you go.
205
00:12:12,170 --> 00:12:15,170
Sorry they're not hot, but it's the long
walk back here.
206
00:12:15,670 --> 00:12:19,589
Siberia. Maya, I don't care about the
nuts. I just want to know what's going
207
00:12:19,590 --> 00:12:20,709
with William and Monica.
208
00:12:20,710 --> 00:12:21,910
Why is she on this plane?
209
00:12:21,911 --> 00:12:25,029
I mean, is it a coincidence or did they
hook up in New York?
210
00:12:25,030 --> 00:12:28,170
Pretty, we have something in first class
called boundaries.
211
00:12:28,490 --> 00:12:29,540
Maya!
212
00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:33,249
Look, all I know is they're talking
about playing in each other's sandboxes,
213
00:12:33,250 --> 00:12:35,660
which I'm sure is just code for
something nasty.
214
00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:38,970
Speaking of which, I, uh...
215
00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:41,400
I need to get back to my seat.
216
00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:44,220
Something back here is making me itch.
217
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,740
Sounds like you better get up there.
218
00:12:48,860 --> 00:12:50,660
So are you finally going to let me up?
219
00:12:51,580 --> 00:12:52,630
I would.
220
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,360
But I can't lift my fat ass.
221
00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:04,360
This is so weird.
222
00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:06,460
I can't believe I have a sister.
223
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,270
Have, sister baby.
224
00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:10,000
Now pass me on the short ribs.
225
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:11,720
Oh, no, thank you.
226
00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:13,130
Ham roller?
227
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,860
Oh, no, I'm good.
228
00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:18,519
I'm beginning to think you don't like my
cooking.
229
00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:20,140
No, it's because I don't eat meat.
230
00:13:20,141 --> 00:13:24,859
Well, then you're going to go hungry
because Dad's a butcher.
231
00:13:24,860 --> 00:13:25,910
Meat's all we get.
232
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,640
Yeah. And why didn't you say something?
233
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,100
I didn't want to be rude.
234
00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:32,550
Oh, I see.
235
00:13:33,260 --> 00:13:37,419
You can barge in our doggy door and drop
a bombshell on my husband about being
236
00:13:37,420 --> 00:13:40,910
the child that he gave up, but you can't
tell us that you don't eat meat.
237
00:13:41,580 --> 00:13:43,980
Annette. Well, I'm sorry.
238
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:45,920
Here, have some mashed potatoes.
239
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:47,600
There's hot dogs in them.
240
00:13:47,820 --> 00:13:49,930
Well, they were going bad. I had to use
them.
241
00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:54,490
Eat around.
242
00:13:55,820 --> 00:13:56,870
I can't.
243
00:13:57,720 --> 00:13:59,890
I'm very strict about what I eat. I'm a
vegan.
244
00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:01,170
Really?
245
00:14:01,171 --> 00:14:05,089
You know, I thought about being a vegan.
Boy, you thought about a lot of things.
246
00:14:05,090 --> 00:14:08,730
You need to settle down, choose one
thing, and focus.
247
00:14:09,070 --> 00:14:13,390
Oh, I tried to focus on ballet, but
someone refused to pay for my unitard.
248
00:14:13,610 --> 00:14:17,400
Now, you know how that sister talk gets
your father's blood pressure going.
249
00:14:18,230 --> 00:14:19,310
Plenty of poor causes.
250
00:14:19,810 --> 00:14:23,890
Liz, do you think a guy who's interested
in ballet is gay?
251
00:14:24,770 --> 00:14:26,850
Uh, yeah, most of the time.
252
00:14:27,930 --> 00:14:31,040
But for those who aren't... It's a
ballerina banquet.
253
00:14:31,041 --> 00:14:37,099
I mean, the point I'm trying to make is
life's meant to be explored.
254
00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:41,440
Yeah, well, he needs to explore life on
his own dime after he graduates.
255
00:14:41,441 --> 00:14:45,199
This boy has been dropping in and out of
junior college since he finished high
256
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:49,259
school, and don't get me started on the
Jersey Philharmonic. What's wrong with
257
00:14:49,260 --> 00:14:50,310
the piccolo?
258
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,960
Sometimes it takes time to find
yourself.
259
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:58,539
Yeah, well, his time is up. Do you know
when I was this boy's age, I had already
260
00:14:58,540 --> 00:14:59,680
opened my own business.
261
00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:03,010
That's easy to do when you take paid
money for giving up a child.
262
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:06,200
I knew it.
263
00:15:06,660 --> 00:15:07,710
She wants money.
264
00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:09,560
No, I don't want money.
265
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,060
No, I don't want anything.
266
00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:17,559
As a matter of fact, I'm out of here.
Okay, okay, okay. I messed up. I should
267
00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:21,859
have fought for you. Yeah, but you
didn't. No, I didn't. No. And I beat
268
00:15:21,860 --> 00:15:22,910
up every day.
269
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:28,020
I don't know. Now that you're here,
maybe you can give me a second chance.
270
00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:33,090
I'm glad you found me.
271
00:15:36,650 --> 00:15:37,700
Me too.
272
00:15:37,790 --> 00:15:40,910
I can't believe I've got a daughter this
beautiful.
273
00:15:43,490 --> 00:15:46,150
Now, you know that we are one big happy
family.
274
00:15:46,830 --> 00:15:49,630
Can you tell him that ice dancing is not
gay?
275
00:15:51,330 --> 00:15:52,450
I wish I could.
276
00:16:04,650 --> 00:16:05,700
I smell coach.
277
00:16:10,650 --> 00:16:13,070
Tony, it's me, John. Oh, girl.
278
00:16:13,650 --> 00:16:16,120
I'm sorry. I was just dreaming about my
little man.
279
00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:18,170
How'd you get out of coach?
280
00:16:18,330 --> 00:16:21,820
Fat or thin, they get out of your way
when you stab them in the arm with a
281
00:16:24,370 --> 00:16:25,930
There she is, Becky, right here.
282
00:16:26,370 --> 00:16:27,990
Cast away from coach, right here.
283
00:16:30,230 --> 00:16:31,280
Maya?
284
00:16:31,281 --> 00:16:34,889
This cabin is for first -class
passengers only.
285
00:16:34,890 --> 00:16:36,270
Please, return to your seat.
286
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:38,270
Handle your business, Becky.
287
00:16:40,110 --> 00:16:42,820
Becky, I'm sorry. I really don't mean to
be any trouble.
288
00:16:43,030 --> 00:16:47,929
It's just that my friend here is going
through a really hard time, and I was
289
00:16:47,930 --> 00:16:49,370
just trying to be here for her.
290
00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:50,600
She's your friend?
291
00:16:50,930 --> 00:16:53,830
Yes. And you can keep her occupied and
out of my galley?
292
00:16:54,670 --> 00:16:57,330
Yes. Then consider yourself upgraded.
293
00:16:58,570 --> 00:17:00,750
Thank you, Becky. Thank you.
294
00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:11,099
I'm really sorry that Todd didn't get on
the flight.
295
00:17:14,380 --> 00:17:16,610
But I'm sure wherever he is, it's
wonderful.
296
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,440
William? Hey, Joan. Hey.
297
00:17:21,700 --> 00:17:24,839
I really need to talk to you.
298
00:17:25,300 --> 00:17:27,240
And I can't wait until we get back to L
.A.
299
00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:28,640
Sure, what's up?
300
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:33,280
Well, I just... Hold that thought.
301
00:17:33,940 --> 00:17:36,080
William, I just... William, shut up.
302
00:17:52,460 --> 00:17:57,359
you're never gonna tell why i am would
you i mean one minute he claims to be in
303
00:17:57,360 --> 00:18:01,419
love with me and next thing you know
he's in the mile high club with monica
304
00:18:01,420 --> 00:18:05,399
so glad i never said anything i mean i
don't need him or that kind of drama in
305
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:12,239
my life girl here oh my god it's you do
you remember me from new
306
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:19,219
york oh my god hi hi we never actually
met i'm anya i'm
307
00:18:19,220 --> 00:18:20,270
joe
308
00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:26,740
I knew something was going on.
309
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:30,220
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
310
00:18:30,660 --> 00:18:32,520
Not the shoes again.
311
00:18:32,860 --> 00:18:33,910
No.
312
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:36,240
Mace, bitch.
313
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:40,850
Facial mitt.
314
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,080
Aw, damn.
315
00:18:42,211 --> 00:18:44,309
Okay.
316
00:18:44,310 --> 00:18:48,860
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