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I know that look.
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You want to go play a little game to
bury the bone, huh?
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Well, don't let me stop you.
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Go on.
5
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Go get her.
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What's the matter?
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You're a keen -looking canine. You could
totally get a dog like that.
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Has it come to this?
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The dog emulates the master.
10
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My own inability to act on my desire for
Joan has diminished you as a man.
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Or, you know, dog.
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That whole neutering thing probably
didn't help either.
13
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But you weren't always like this.
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You know, there was a day when you would
have trotted over to that poodle and
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put the doggie back in doggie style.
16
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And now you're just like me.
17
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I finally discovered my feelings for
Joan, yet my own invisibility keeps
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me back from telling her.
19
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We are indeed a sad pair.
20
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Excuse me.
21
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Are these your balls?
22
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Would it were that simple?
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So,
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what
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is love?
26
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you tony well dr miller i'm thinking
it's a mini splendor thing it's never
27
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having to say you're sorry it's that
thing that just keeps you together and
28
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lifts you up where you belong tony okay
here's the thing
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when i say i love people because it
makes them feel good i mean if someone
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they love me i say i love you back it's
just like when someone sneezes and you
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say god bless you Do you really care if
God blesses them? I know I don't.
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Okay.
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Let's try an exercise.
34
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Oh, good, Games. I'm so good at games.
35
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You're on a deserted island for life
with one other person.
36
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Who do you want that person to be?
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Girl, that's easy. Wolfgang Puck.
38
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What? I want to be hungry. I need
someone who can whip up a meal with a
39
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and a fish.
40
00:02:37,570 --> 00:02:41,840
Tony. All right, um... Bill Gates.
41
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What? I know somebody's gonna be looking
for him.
42
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You can't get off the island. You need
to pick somebody you know.
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All right, then.
44
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Joan. Great.
45
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Tell me why.
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Because she's my best friend.
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We've been through everything else
together. We might as well be stuck on
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stupid island together. Plus, Joan would
know what to do with that coconut.
49
00:03:04,590 --> 00:03:09,509
Okay, so somebody who stays with you
through thick and thin, someone who can
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take care of you. I think we're
beginning to build your definition of
51
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Oh, my God.
52
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I do love Joan.
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I'm capable of love.
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Woo! I'm big!
55
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No, no, you just... had a breakthrough.
Now, I want you to seize that feeling
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and we'll continue to build on it in
future sessions.
57
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Then will I be fixed?
58
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Tony, therapy is a process when the...
Yeah, Tony, then you'll be fixed.
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Yes?
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Len, um, I need to ask you a favor.
61
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Oh, sure, Maya. Anything.
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Except, of course, pay for lunch.
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00:03:57,631 --> 00:04:01,089
Or let you be a couple days late on your
rent or paint Jabari's room real quick.
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00:04:01,090 --> 00:04:02,140
What do you mean?
65
00:04:04,850 --> 00:04:06,350
You think you can read my book?
66
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Tell me what you think.
67
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Oh, my God. You finished? Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes. This morning at 2 a .m.
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This is great.
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We should celebrate.
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I will buy you lunch.
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You know, someday.
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That's sweet, Lynn. Thank you.
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But do you think you could read it
tonight? I'm on a really tight deadline.
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00:04:26,020 --> 00:04:28,899
have to get it to the printers next
week. I thought you were self
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I am. But Kinko's raises their rate next
week.
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So, do you want me to prove it or you
want actual feedback?
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Feedback is, you know, it's good. But
mainly, you know, I'd like for you to
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Girl, yesterday I cried, but today I
said, Oh, hell yes!
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You know, so I could clench on the back
cover.
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I could do that.
81
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:50,900
Good. And one more thing.
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Don't tell Joan.
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Why not?
84
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:58,039
Because I'm not showing it to her, Lynn,
and I don't want her to feel left out.
85
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Why do you want Joan to read it? Because
she'll hate it. You know how she is.
86
00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:02,640
All classes and egregious.
87
00:05:02,641 --> 00:05:05,819
I just don't want to go there. So
promise me, Lynn, that you're not going
88
00:05:05,820 --> 00:05:07,560
nothing to her. Look, mom's the word.
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00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:09,150
For 20 bucks.
90
00:05:10,180 --> 00:05:11,860
Has anybody given you 20 dollars?
91
00:05:11,861 --> 00:05:13,219
How about 10? How about a slap?
92
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How about on the ass?
93
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Todd?
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I'm in here.
95
00:05:23,151 --> 00:05:25,179
I had a breakthrough.
96
00:05:25,180 --> 00:05:27,260
What? I had a breakthrough in therapy.
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I know how to love.
98
00:05:29,380 --> 00:05:32,979
See, I wasn't sure that I knew how to
love, and then I did this exercise
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that I do know how to love.
100
00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:38,920
I know an exercise that proves we both
know how to love.
101
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:41,330
Stop being nasty when I'm trying to be
deep.
102
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Sorry.
103
00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:44,940
So tell me about your exercise.
104
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Well, my therapist said I was stuck on
this desert island for the rest of my
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life, and I had to choose only one
person to be with.
106
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So I choose Joan because I love her,
proving I am capable of love.
107
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Was your husband not an option?
108
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Huh? Was your husband not an option?
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I wasn't thinking about you.
110
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The Slavia?
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00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:09,380
That makes me feel better.
112
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:18,559
Well, if for some reason Joan is unable
to fulfill her duties as the one I
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love...
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You run her up.
115
00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:28,870
Oh, come on, Todd. You're missing the
point. No, Tony, you're missing the
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I'm always second place for you. Todd,
this exercise was about me.
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I had a breakthrough today.
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It had nothing to do with you. But it
should have. It's never about me. Just
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like when you had to go see Greg, or
when you refused to confront your mother
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about smoking in our house, or when you
bought a Valentine's Day gift for Joan
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instead of me.
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00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:52,269
This is just one more kick in the groin,
Tony, isn't it? That's not fair.
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Every time I kick you there, I ice them
up.
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Because, hello, Greg is to the curb. I
kicked my mama to the curb. And if
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unemployed much longer, she'll be
tasting pavement, too.
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00:07:04,050 --> 00:07:07,829
Oh, so Joan made it to your island just
because she has more money than your
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broke husband? Come on.
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The island is the one place where your
debt wouldn't matter.
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Okay.
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Todd, okay, fine.
131
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You want to be on the island?
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Answer one simple question.
133
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What can you whip up with a coconut and
a fish?
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Hey.
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Hey.
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00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:41,879
Wow, that was really slick. I didn't
even see that thing you just hid in your
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bag.
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What thing? There's no thing. The thing
you just put in your bag, Lynn.
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What bag?
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00:07:47,990 --> 00:07:49,040
And who's this Lynn?
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Lynn's the mooch I was gonna buy lunch
for, but since she's not here, I'll just
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go. Okay, okay.
143
00:08:00,170 --> 00:08:02,710
So there is a Lynn. There is a book bag.
144
00:08:02,970 --> 00:08:04,020
Come on, let's order.
145
00:08:11,190 --> 00:08:12,240
No?
146
00:08:12,670 --> 00:08:13,810
What's in the book bag?
147
00:08:13,811 --> 00:08:17,479
Oh, my instruction manual and my book
bag. Okay, I'm out of here. Okay, okay,
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00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:18,530
okay, okay.
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Maya's manuscript.
150
00:08:21,020 --> 00:08:22,070
Oh, my God.
151
00:08:22,180 --> 00:08:23,320
She finished her book?
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Yeah. Oh, that's so great. Let me see
it. I can't do.
153
00:08:27,391 --> 00:08:29,359
Why not?
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Because she only wants my feedback.
155
00:08:30,820 --> 00:08:31,899
Why doesn't she want my feedback?
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I don't know, but don't ask her. Why
not? Because you're not supposed to
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Why not? Because.
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Because why?
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Because, damn it, Joan, your class is an
egregious.
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What?
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Her words, not mine.
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Oh.
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She's thinking about old Joan.
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New Joan is going to love the book. Let
me see it. No, Maya will be mad at me.
165
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So I won't tell her.
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00:08:54,620 --> 00:08:56,420
I don't know, Joan. Come on.
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00:08:56,940 --> 00:08:58,420
You know I'm discreet.
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00:08:58,700 --> 00:09:00,460
I'm the queen of discreet.
169
00:09:00,461 --> 00:09:02,679
Why don't you want me to read your book?
170
00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:03,780
Lynn! Joan!
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00:09:03,781 --> 00:09:07,039
What happened to the queen of discreet?
What happened to mom's the word?
172
00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:08,959
What happened to we're best friends and
we share everything?
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00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:09,939
I never said that.
174
00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:12,999
Look, look. I didn't want you to read it
because I didn't think you'd like it.
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Why? Because I'm classist and egregious?
176
00:09:16,450 --> 00:09:17,770
You told her that too?
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00:09:17,771 --> 00:09:22,569
Look, I'm sorry, but Joan and I are best
friends and we share everything.
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00:09:22,570 --> 00:09:24,010
Oh, that's where I heard that.
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00:09:24,890 --> 00:09:27,230
Maya, why don't you want my feedback?
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I am the queen of feedback.
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I've got nothing but great feedback on
my feedback.
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Joan.
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00:09:35,670 --> 00:09:37,230
We shared everything together.
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00:09:37,370 --> 00:09:41,869
I gave you your first corporate job. I
watched as you've grown and matured. And
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now here you are having written your
first book and I just... I just can't
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00:09:48,510 --> 00:09:55,429
believe that I'm not going to be able
to... That I'm not going to be able to
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00:09:55,430 --> 00:09:57,170
share in this step of your journey.
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00:10:12,810 --> 00:10:13,860
Fine, Joan.
189
00:10:14,510 --> 00:10:15,560
Read the damn book.
190
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:19,930
Okay. If you really want me to.
191
00:10:22,050 --> 00:10:28,829
I don't know why he can't see that this
is about
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00:10:28,830 --> 00:10:29,749
him, too.
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00:10:29,750 --> 00:10:32,630
If I am capable of love, then he reaps
the benefits.
194
00:10:32,890 --> 00:10:36,830
Our marriage reaps the benefits. It's
that whole trickle -down theory of love.
195
00:10:36,890 --> 00:10:37,970
Why can't he see that?
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00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:46,050
I heard you say trickle.
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00:10:46,970 --> 00:10:48,770
Which reminds me, I'll be right back.
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00:10:54,930 --> 00:10:55,980
Oh, yeah.
199
00:10:56,270 --> 00:10:57,330
That is much better.
200
00:10:58,550 --> 00:10:59,930
What were we talking about?
201
00:10:59,931 --> 00:11:03,049
Well, I was telling you about how I went
to therapy. Ah, I remember.
202
00:11:03,050 --> 00:11:04,100
Shut it up.
203
00:11:16,140 --> 00:11:17,400
is you women talk too much.
204
00:11:17,401 --> 00:11:22,179
See, it's great that you had a
breakthrough, but he didn't have to know
205
00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:23,779
it. That's what your girlfriends are
for.
206
00:11:23,780 --> 00:11:26,040
But what am I gonna do? Ah, he's your
husband.
207
00:11:26,580 --> 00:11:27,660
That should be enough.
208
00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:30,380
He said I do so you know he loves you.
209
00:11:30,900 --> 00:11:34,819
He doesn't care about your feelings or
what process you came to your feelings
210
00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:36,759
what other cockamamie breakthrough you
had.
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00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:38,720
He just wants the action of your love.
212
00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:40,820
So you can't say?
213
00:11:43,020 --> 00:11:44,820
You know, that is so stereotypical.
214
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,340
We men are about a lot more than just
sex.
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00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:54,180
There's food, sport, toys, war, and
dogs.
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00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:55,940
That's man's best friend.
217
00:11:55,941 --> 00:11:57,879
Oh, yeah.
218
00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:00,760
I want him to know that my intentions
were good.
219
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,050
Then show him.
220
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:06,540
Through food, sex, war, toys, sports,
and dogs.
221
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,330
Is there anything that encompasses all
those things?
222
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:11,970
God, I wish.
223
00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:20,290
I am Tony Charles Garrett. I placed an
order for a picnic basket.
224
00:12:20,700 --> 00:12:22,020
Woman, what are you doing?
225
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:27,799
I'm taking your advice. You said men
like food, so I'm giving my husband a
226
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:28,850
surprise picnic.
227
00:12:28,851 --> 00:12:32,099
After everything I schooled you on, all
you could come up with was a picnic?
228
00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:36,839
Well, afterwards I thought we'd go home
and play naked battleship and the winner
229
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:37,890
wins linker ticket.
230
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:40,650
And a puppy.
231
00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:43,700
You learn well, grasshopper.
232
00:12:45,930 --> 00:12:46,980
Oh, thank you.
233
00:13:01,790 --> 00:13:02,840
Tony!
234
00:13:02,930 --> 00:13:04,370
Hey, what are you doing here?
235
00:13:04,371 --> 00:13:05,889
Surprised to see me, are you?
236
00:13:05,890 --> 00:13:08,729
Tony, this is Natalie, a colleague of
mine from the hospital.
237
00:13:08,730 --> 00:13:11,909
Natalie, this is Tony. It is so nice to
meet you. I have heard so much about
238
00:13:11,910 --> 00:13:12,889
you, Tony.
239
00:13:12,890 --> 00:13:14,930
Please, call me Mrs. Todd Garrett.
240
00:13:16,069 --> 00:13:18,179
Nice little table you two picked out
here.
241
00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:19,670
Intimate, tucked away.
242
00:13:20,270 --> 00:13:21,650
Hidden, some might even say.
243
00:13:23,330 --> 00:13:25,800
You know what? I'm just going to get
some takeout.
244
00:13:25,890 --> 00:13:27,030
Here, have a picnic.
245
00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:29,640
No, thank you.
246
00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:31,450
Really, I'm not that hungry.
247
00:13:34,930 --> 00:13:35,980
Okay.
248
00:13:36,410 --> 00:13:38,330
I'll see you back at the hospital, Todd.
249
00:13:38,490 --> 00:13:40,900
It was very nice to meet you. This is
Todd Garrett.
250
00:13:45,710 --> 00:13:49,710
What the hell was that? What the hell
was this? This was a work lunch.
251
00:13:49,711 --> 00:13:51,109
What's going on, Todd?
252
00:13:51,110 --> 00:13:53,949
Is your little tryst with the Barbie
knockoff some sort of payback for my
253
00:13:53,950 --> 00:13:55,000
breakthrough?
254
00:13:55,490 --> 00:13:57,170
Tell me this wasn't about revenge.
255
00:13:57,410 --> 00:13:59,390
No, Tony, that's something you would do.
256
00:14:00,950 --> 00:14:04,070
Who is she? I told you, she is a
colleague.
257
00:14:04,071 --> 00:14:06,269
A colleague you're having an affair
with?
258
00:14:06,270 --> 00:14:08,010
Why do you have to jump to an affair?
259
00:14:08,011 --> 00:14:11,369
I'm not the one who's confused about who
I love.
260
00:14:11,370 --> 00:14:14,490
I didn't marry Joan. No, but you put her
on your little island.
261
00:14:14,491 --> 00:14:16,509
Who should be on the island, Todd?
262
00:14:16,510 --> 00:14:19,280
Huh? You and Natalie? You have your
little threesome?
263
00:14:19,810 --> 00:14:23,360
Threesome? Oh, you think I'm going to
leave you alone with that bitch?
264
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:48,650
I hated it. What?
265
00:14:49,660 --> 00:14:51,420
Really? What am I going to do?
266
00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:54,010
She's going to want to know what I
thought.
267
00:14:54,140 --> 00:14:55,280
Do I tell her the truth?
268
00:14:55,281 --> 00:14:58,559
Okay, maybe it's not that bad. Maybe you
can frame it in a constructive way.
269
00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:00,480
What exactly didn't you like about it?
270
00:15:00,580 --> 00:15:03,080
Okay, um... Okay, like here.
271
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,250
This chapter.
272
00:15:05,580 --> 00:15:07,300
Don't be a stupid bitch girl.
273
00:15:09,380 --> 00:15:10,920
It's just too on the nose.
274
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:13,460
I don't know, I like straight talk.
275
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:17,739
I thought I did an excellent job of
explaining how, as women, we often only
276
00:15:17,740 --> 00:15:19,739
what we want to see about the men in our
lives.
277
00:15:19,740 --> 00:15:24,439
See, I can't absorb that kind of
information when someone's calling me a
278
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:25,490
bitch.
279
00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:29,179
You know what? You don't have to think
of yourself as being critical.
280
00:15:29,180 --> 00:15:31,039
You and Maya just have different tastes.
281
00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:34,170
Okay. Your suits are Stella McCartney.
Hers are Miss Dixie. Yeah.
282
00:15:34,420 --> 00:15:36,880
You like Coco Vaughn. She likes Coco
Puffs.
283
00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:41,690
She listens to Ludacris. And I think
that kind of music is ludicrous.
284
00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:44,330
Oh, my God.
285
00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:46,540
I am classless and egregious.
286
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:48,430
You know what?
287
00:15:48,431 --> 00:15:51,959
What? Just, I'm going to tell her that I
love the book, so don't say a word
288
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:53,160
about any of this, okay?
289
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:55,070
Joan hates your book.
290
00:15:55,260 --> 00:15:56,310
Joan! Lynn!
291
00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:57,550
Quiet! What?
292
00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,910
I don't know. I just seem to be headed
there.
293
00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:04,719
So you think I'm a bad writer?
294
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:10,859
No, I think you're a great writer. I
just had absolutely no interest in what
295
00:16:10,860 --> 00:16:11,910
wrote about.
296
00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:21,740
It's too bad you already went to sleep.
297
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:26,800
It's too bad because you're going to
miss the show.
298
00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:32,150
That's okay.
299
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:34,840
I'll just bring the show to you.
300
00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:41,340
Good idea. We'll just phone.
301
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,120
Where are you going to go now?
302
00:16:50,790 --> 00:16:52,850
Damn it, Todd. Talk to me.
303
00:16:55,010 --> 00:16:57,420
Who's calling you this late? You're not
on call.
304
00:16:57,890 --> 00:17:00,410
Hello? I know you're not answering it.
Oh, hey.
305
00:17:00,670 --> 00:17:02,430
I know you're not perking up. Yeah.
306
00:17:03,350 --> 00:17:05,369
I am doing it right now.
307
00:17:06,710 --> 00:17:07,760
Yeah.
308
00:17:07,810 --> 00:17:09,710
Oh, no, that's okay. I was still awake.
309
00:17:10,569 --> 00:17:11,619
Right?
310
00:17:12,069 --> 00:17:13,119
Yeah.
311
00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:15,210
Okay. I'll see you tomorrow.
312
00:17:15,670 --> 00:17:16,720
Bye.
313
00:17:22,990 --> 00:17:26,120
I know you're not getting back in bed
without some explaining.
314
00:17:26,121 --> 00:17:29,909
That was Natalie. She wanted to read an
article from last month's New England
315
00:17:29,910 --> 00:17:30,960
Journal of Medicine.
316
00:17:30,961 --> 00:17:33,529
Told her to call me and remind me to put
it in my bag.
317
00:17:33,530 --> 00:17:36,180
Did she also remind you to put your
penis in your bag?
318
00:17:37,950 --> 00:17:41,870
Oh, God, you're killing me. There is
nothing going on.
319
00:17:41,871 --> 00:17:45,229
Why are you all up in arms, Todd? There
must be something going on.
320
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:48,909
You know what? I don't want to talk
about this anymore, Tony. I am not
321
00:17:48,910 --> 00:17:50,610
affair. Well, she wants you.
322
00:17:50,810 --> 00:17:52,130
Nice to know somebody does.
323
00:17:52,270 --> 00:17:53,560
Oh! Come on.
324
00:17:54,060 --> 00:17:57,679
You know I love you. Oh, is that
starting yesterday? Because the day
325
00:17:57,680 --> 00:17:59,680
that, you just figured out what love is.
326
00:17:59,681 --> 00:18:01,279
Why can't you get off the damn island?
327
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:04,360
How can I get off of it? You never put
me on it.
328
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:10,170
Well, it's because of that attitude
right there, Buster.
329
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:13,610
Tony.
330
00:18:14,740 --> 00:18:20,699
The deserted island exercise was
designed for you to get to the root of
331
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:21,960
deepest feelings.
332
00:18:22,570 --> 00:18:25,990
Not to be a singing telegram to deliver
to your husband.
333
00:18:26,430 --> 00:18:31,129
Now you tell me. Because of your
negligence? My husband's on the verge of
334
00:18:31,130 --> 00:18:31,969
an affair.
335
00:18:31,970 --> 00:18:35,690
Yeah. If I lose my husband, I'm suing
you for malpractice.
336
00:18:37,110 --> 00:18:43,329
Tony, my job is to help you explore your
feelings and gain new insights
337
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:47,550
so that you know how best to address the
issues in your relationship.
338
00:18:47,770 --> 00:18:48,820
Okay?
339
00:18:49,630 --> 00:18:50,680
Okay.
340
00:18:51,590 --> 00:18:54,870
And next time, will you please come at
your scheduled time?
341
00:18:58,241 --> 00:19:04,909
Sorry to be cutting in on your time,
girl, but I can save you a lot of money
342
00:19:04,910 --> 00:19:07,789
you just fix that unibrow, do something
about that hair, and correct that
343
00:19:07,790 --> 00:19:11,410
posture. Ugh, it's just screaming I
don't love myself. Why should you?
344
00:19:26,330 --> 00:19:28,070
Now, about your posture.
345
00:19:38,610 --> 00:19:40,910
Oh, there she goes.
346
00:19:41,550 --> 00:19:43,090
The poodle of your dreams.
347
00:19:43,590 --> 00:19:44,930
You gonna go for it today?
348
00:19:48,090 --> 00:19:49,650
Like owner, like pooch.
349
00:19:50,870 --> 00:19:53,280
But you know what? You control your own
destiny.
350
00:19:54,140 --> 00:19:55,760
Well, to the extent that I let you.
351
00:19:56,300 --> 00:19:57,350
Sit.
352
00:19:58,620 --> 00:19:59,670
There's my rebel.
353
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:03,350
Now you take that same moxie and you go
over there and you get that bitch.
354
00:20:03,351 --> 00:20:07,679
And if you succeed, I'll take it as a
sign that I should declare my feelings
355
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:08,679
Joan.
356
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:09,730
So go on.
357
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,010
Go tap that boy.
358
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:12,700
Tap it for the both of us.
359
00:20:18,220 --> 00:20:20,780
No! No, Vasco! You're supposed to be on
top.
360
00:20:20,781 --> 00:20:22,689
Whatever you're into.
361
00:20:22,690 --> 00:20:27,240
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