Original subtitles

I hate to eat and run, but I have to get to therapy.

Wait a minute. I thought you just went on Monday. You guys, I'm telling you,

Miller loves me.

She has me coming twice a week now. It's even talking about adding a third day.

Sweetie, that's not about love.

Yes, it is. She's even giving me an 80 % discount.

That 80 %?

Is your insurance kicking in? Girl, please, next you'll tell me that

gives frequent flyer miles to everybody.

Okay.

How long do you think it's going to take Tony to figure out how deeply disturbed

she truly is?

You were in therapy. How long did it take you?

I was nowhere near as crazy as Tony.

You were just as crazy, if not more.

Okay, well, whatever I was, that's all in the past.

My issue is the result.

Now that's crazy.

Maybe you ought to be back in therapy.

Or at least get on a little medication.

You know, some sort of drip.

Maybe they make a... Hatch for what you got.

What's been on your mind? Well, well, first off, first off, I bought you

What's that?

Shoes.

I figured you for one of five ten.

Thank you, Tony, but I couldn't possibly accept those.

Why not?

Well, first of all, I'm a nine and a half.

And more importantly, need I remind you that our relationship is that of doctor

and patient.

We're not girlfriends.

Then how come you always want to hang so much?

Because you spend most of our time avoiding.

These multiple sessions are designed to wear you down. Look, is it my fault I

was born the poor black child of an alcoholic mama?

No, it's not. But what are you going to do about it? I'm paying you. What are

you going to do about it?

Well, have you at least written that letter to your mother?

What letter?

The one about the issues you have with her. Oh.

I thought that was a mental exercise.

Write the letter.

So, Tony, am I to assume from this that you have no intention of writing this

letter? Well, I'm not much of a letter writer, so I just figured, why not

eliminate the middleman?

Now, go ahead and tell Mama all the things you said were wrong with her.

listen up, Mama. She's very smart.

Mrs. Childs, it's a pleasure to meet you, but I... Well, I am none too happy

meet you.

I came all the way down here on a trail ways from Fresno under false pretenses.

Tony told me she needed me to go with her to see some kind of special.

I thought somebody was dying up and through here.

And just for the record, she's the nutcase.

I don't need fixing.

I got the law.

Mama, please.

Fine, fine.

Go ahead, say your piece.

But you just remember, I'm rubber, you're glue.

Everything you say bounces off me and to you.

Sorry I'm late. I missed my bus.

Well, Donna, we'd have more time to spend together if you'd just let me

you to work.

And I told you, I don't know you like that.

What are you doing? Playing hard to get?

I'm not playing.

I am hard to get.

You guys been there?

We're ready to order.

Great. What will you have?

Uh, I'll just have a cup of coffee.

Do y 'all have thanker?

Donna, this is a date. You gotta splurge. Come on.

Well, I have always wanted to try one of those mochas.

A what?

A mocha.

You mean mocha.

No, she means mocha.

And I'll have one too, so that's two mochas.

That make mine a mocha grande.

God, I love mocha.

William, stop.

I know I said it all.

Well, there's always a chance that everybody else is saying it wrong and

the one saying it right.

Why are we even doing this?

At first I thought you were some kind of stalker. And now I think you're some

rich guy taking pity on the poor girl that rides the bus.

I'm not taking pity on you.

Then what are you doing?

I'm trying to get to know you.

Well, know this.

I have a bus to catch.

That ought to cover my mocha.

Maybe a mocha.

Tony, where's the rest of my corned beef sandwich?

Oh, um, Mama ate it.

You're going to have that for dinner.

Oh, you still have your Froot Loops in there. Oh.

Honey, next time you order that corned beef, hold the mustard.

Good night, baby.

Good night.

And don't y 'all stay up too late.

That's y 'all gonna sex each other up and make me some good -haired

Mama don't want to hear it, though.

Tony, I don't ask for much. Your mother could have my corned beef sandwich. She

could even talk about our sex life, but she's got to stop smoking in the house.

Oh, come on, Todd. It's not that big of a deal. Yes, it is. It irritates me, and

you said you were going to talk to her. Todd, look, she and I are going through

enough with this therapy.

I don't need to jam her up with something trivial like this. Oh, so your

husband's feelings are trivial.

You know what I'm saying. One thing, Tony. Honey, just one thing for me.

Oh, that.

All right. We'll have to hold you till your birthday.

No, no.

Okay.

The woman said mocha.

She's got a GED. She empties bedpans for a living.

I can barely get any of her time because she's always on that damn bus.

Everything in me is screaming, let it go.

But I can't. Why?

My guess, the bootay.

No, no, no.

I mean, all right, she has a brick house, but... It's not about the sex.

I mean, if it was just about the sex, I could get that.

From who?

Please. This town is full of women who accept American Express.

Okay, you know what, William?

Obviously, you like this girl. Okay, so why don't you go out and find out why

and stop boring us to death?

That woman said mocha.

Yeah, and you voted for George W. Bush.

See? Y 'all belong together.

Both of you are as dumb as a box of rock. Mm -hmm.

Look alive, Clayton.

You're not paid to sit there.

Do you think I need to go back to therapy?

Yes. Next time, ask me something hard.

Hello, Dr.

Bales, this is Joan Clayton calling. I was a patient of yours for a couple of

months about a year or so ago, and I thought that maybe I could make an

appointment for a tune -up.

Yeah, so if you could call me on my home phone, that would be great.

Thank you.

Bye.

Hi, Dr.

Bales, it's Joan Clayton again.

You know what?

Disregard that last message. The fact is, I'm fine.

I don't even know why I called you in the first place. So, goodbye.

Dr.

Bales, hi, Joan again.

You know what? I'm sure after listening to those last few messages, I must sound

so conflicted, but the fact is, I'm not. I am fine.

Goodbye now.

Hi, Dr. Bales, Joan Clayton calling.

You know, I'm so serious right now. I do not want you to call my house.

And I don't want to hear in your voice that you think I'm having a nervous

breakdown because I'm not.

I'm really fine.

I'm in a good place, so I'm just going to continue to thrive, to flourish.

And I hope that you do the same.

Dr. Bale, please let me know your first available opening. Thank you.

Shalom.

Hey.

Y 'all keep bad trades around here.

At the motel down the street.

What?

Excuse me?

I said I don't know.

Oh, that's not what you said.

I heard your smart mouth.

I hear everything.

Let me tell you something.

Mama don't stay at unsanitary motels with questionable sheets and towels.

Mama stays with family.

And since we're family, you got something to say to me, then say it.

I have nothing to say.

Mm -hmm.

Except the fact you don't want me smoking in your house.

Except for that, yes.

Yeah, but here's the gotcha.

This ain't your house.

My daughter bought this house with her money. Because the way I hear it, you

broke.

So see, I'm going to keep on huffing and puffing because blood is thicker than

no money.

Is that the same blood that's driving Tony to a therapist?

Little boy, is that all you got?

I'm an old elf.

My skin is thick.

You're going to have to come harder than that.

You want hard?

All right, Veretta. The reason your kids can't stand you is because you were

never there when they needed you.

Where the hell were you, huh?

Were you liquored up in some bar?

No.

I was ten seconds from knocking you the hell out.

Hey, I've got bagels and lunch and ham hock. Something for everybody.

What's going on?

What's going on is there's not room for both of us in this family.

Now, you got a choice to make, little girl, him or me. For once, I'm in

agreement with your mother. So who's it going to be?

cream cheese.

Okay, Donna.

Let's admit that we got off to a really bad start.

But let's also admit that tonight is an opportunity for a brand new beginning.

So, you let your defenses down, and I'll keep my hands where you can see them.

Oh, what is that, a laugh?

Is that the first official laugh I've ever gotten from you?

I'm not even using my best stuff.

You know what?

You're corny.

Corny as Kansas. But what's more important is that you get me.

Two laughs in a minute.

Let's get married.

I was kidding on that one. I'm really glad you

called me.

Because I would hate to be sitting around wondering if I missed out on a

one. Well, I am a good one.

As a matter of fact, I'm the best one.

Why don't you let me find out?

Good doggy.

All right.

Nice doggy.

Nice doggy, my ass. You gonna get up here?

So, even though I know I'm fine, because you guys are my good friends,

I listen to you.

And William.

And my mother.

And I called him.

Who? Rock.

Dr. Bell.

Who's that?

My therapist.

What'd you call him for?

Because you half as told me to.

When? The other day at Skia.

Remember that?

Girl, I ain't got time for John.

I'm trying to figure out Jabari's lunches for the week.

Were we serious?

Yes, you were serious.

Don't you remember?

left to go to therapy, and you guys suggested that I should go back to

and I explained to you that I'm stable and happy.

And you guys acted like I was delusional and crazy, and so I called him, and now

I'm back in therapy.

Girl, you sound kind of kissable. Maybe you should be back in therapy.

Or at least get on some kind of medication.

Or some sort of drip.

Maybe they'll make a patch of what you got.

It's officially hit the fan.

Mom and Todd went at it.

What? They asked me to choose between them. Oh.

Oh, man.

How'd your mom take it? She didn't have to.

She's at my house.

Stupid. You kicked Todd out? No.

I left them both there with any luck. One of them will kill the other, and

that'll make my choice a whole lot easier.

Tony. Look, guys, I can't kick my mama out.

Not now.

We're finally getting through to each other. I'm telling you guys, this

is working for us.

I don't want to lose her, just when I finally got her. And Todd?

Well, I haven't known him as long.

It's a nice night.

Hey, is that a shooting star?

No, that's a searchlight from a police helicopter.

Why on earth do you live down here?

I used to live in Malibu, but I'm tired of the commute.

I'm not an idiot. I know you have financial limitations, but there are

neighborhoods with affordable housing, aren't there?

Yeah, in Omaha.

But in L .A., there's only so much serving jello and wiping old people's

behinds will get you.

If you could do anything else, what would it be?

Besides getting off this car?

Work at a post office?

Nah, better.

A meter maid.

My girl Chanel is making like $16 an hour.

But if money weren't a factor.

Where do you come from where money isn't a factor? I'm just saying. If you

followed your dreams, where would they lead you?

To my own beauty salon.

I could be my own boss.

Set my own hours.

Get some celebrity clients.

Get the hell out of here.

That's a nice dream.

What are your dreams?

I think I already got everything I want.

Except for the woman to share it with.

So? So?

So you called me. Have you made your choice? Oh, yes.

You and I will stay here at Joan's. The hell?

Just until Mama goes home. Once again, the hell?

Fine!

I have another plan.

No more plans. No, no, no, this is a good one. Okay, you lay low for a couple

days. I'll tell Mama that Daddy mistook the badge of silver for Pepsodent and

needs her back in Fresno.

She'll go running back to him, and you can come running back to me. Oh, I see.

So just because your dad needs her, she goes running back?

Of course, he's her husband.

And I'm your husband.

He ain't lying. I was at the wedding.

So you choosing some husband over your flesh and blood?

It's not about that.

It's about the fact... Yes, I'm choosing Todd.

You're choosing Todd?

Yes.

Mama, I'm sorry if I hurt you. Oh, girl, ain't nobody hurt.

This has all been my plan.

My whole M .O. My raison d 'etre.

Huh?

Girl, you were all discombobulated and going off half -cocked and acting all

crazy and going to a therapist and whatnot. I thought you was going to do

something stupid like end your marriage.

I picked a fight with Todd to force you to choose.

You know, there's never been a divorce in the child's family.

Uh -uh. We make it work. We stick it out.

What about Aunt Freda and Uncle George?

In divorce him, she shot him.

And even then, she nursed him back to health and loved him to the end.

I think you owe me a thank you for coming down here and helping you through

little crisis.

But Mama, you are my crisis. I mean, you were my crisis, which made my life a

crisis.

And that's just it.

It's my life.

And I need to start getting it together.

And the one thing I feel I've done right in my whole life, Mama, is marry Todd.

And if he doesn't want you smoking in our house, then you need to honor that.

Or go home.

Well, let me light a cigarette and think about it.

I'm glad we found something up here we like to do.

Because it looks like we're going to be up here for a long while.