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Mama, I want you to meet my fiancée.
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Tyra Banks, I want you to meet my mama,
who just turned into Chief Justice
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William H. Rehnquist.
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Hi, Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist.
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Okay.
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Bill.
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So, Bill, are you ready to marry me and
Tyra Banks?
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What?
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What do you mean? Of course I can marry
Tyra Banks.
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Why can't I marry Tyra Banks?
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Oh, my God, no!
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Chief Justice Bill is right.
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I'm still married to Lynn.
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You know, I could still have an affair
with Tyra Banks.
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You made the right decision.
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Excuse me?
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You made the right decision.
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Oh, the shoes?
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Yeah.
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Well, I was going to buy them in black.
Not the shoes.
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The man.
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What? There was a man in your life. You
had a decision to make.
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It was a difficult decision for you.
More difficult even than the shoes.
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But you made the right decision.
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So you're what? A psychic?
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My name is Peter, and I have been called
a great many things.
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Psychic, prophet, fortune teller.
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But those whom I have helped with my
visions refer to me as Pete.
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So you made a guess that I made a
decision about a man recently. Big deal.
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Many women, I'm sure, make decisions
about men, and it was a...
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It was a pretty safe guess.
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I'm sorry. I've got to be going.
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Suit yourself, Joan.
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How did you know that my name was Joan?
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It was amazing.
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He knew all about me and Brock and what
I've been going through. Yeah, whatever.
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What did he say about me?
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You didn't exactly come up, honey.
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Well, then he's bogus.
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A real psychic wouldn't have missed the
most important person in your life.
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Wait a minute. Come to think of it, he
did predict that at precisely 8 .43, I
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would be annoyed by an egomaniac.
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Oh, yeah?
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What, did he tell you at 8 .44 that I'd
say yo mama?
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I didn't mention that.
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Okay, you know what, Joan? You need to
stay away from this man.
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You think he's a fraud? Oh, he could be.
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Girl, he could be a flim -flam artist
trying to flim and flam you.
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How much did he take you for?
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20? 30?
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10? Oh, honey, he don't know nothing
about Fleming and Fleming.
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Well, if he's a con man, then how did he
know my name? Joan, would you wake up
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and smell the scam?
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We walk down that street all the time.
Maybe we walked past him once and didn't
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even notice him. But he heard me say to
you, what's up, Joan?
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She is loud.
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You guys, come on. He knew things about
me and Brock and about how I wanted
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things that Brock didn't want.
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And how painful it was to let him go.
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And how deep down I have been wondering
if I made the right decision. Now, how
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would he know all of that if he didn't
have a special power?
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Okay, then, let me just think.
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Who do we know who has special power?
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Oh, my dear God, I got it. The devil!
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Len.
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Something occurred to me last night.
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Something we forgot to take care of.
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You have any idea where I'm going with
this?
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No, not really.
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Really?
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You have no idea where I'm heading with
this, Mrs. Dent?
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Nope, no idea.
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Damn it, Lynn, we're still married.
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Well, duh.
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Hey, how fast go?
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Lynn, I need you to sign these annulment
papers.
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Now, why ruin a good thing?
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Lynn, if I'm married to you, how can I
ever hope to marry Tyra Banks?
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You had that dream again?
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Yes.
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Did Rehn crucifixiate? No.
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He couldn't this time because I'm
married to you.
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And his commitment to the law is so
profound that even in my dreams he
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overcome his strict constructionist
principles and overturn the bigamy laws.
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Lynn? Lynn! Oh, sorry. Sometimes it's
hard for me to realize when you stop
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talking because, you know, I'm not
listening.
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Let's see. What looks good?
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An annulment.
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Sign it.
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00:05:01,730 --> 00:05:06,589
Okay, William, I have to tell you that
your marrying Tyra Banks is not going to
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happen. Whereas me getting my impacted
wisdom teeth extracted, that's something
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that could happen. What are you talking
about?
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Darling, our comprehensive health
insurance plan.
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00:05:15,661 --> 00:05:19,409
Now, I may look healthy, but I have a
number of serious ailments that need
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immediate attention. My turf toe, my
wart, and I need my weekly massage.
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Len, my insurance is not going to pay
for your massage.
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They do if you call it dialysis.
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But what about me? I mean, what if I
really met someone?
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You mean while you're awake?
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You know what? You're right.
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Look at my life.
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Yvonne, Monica, and Sharon. One disaster
after the next. You know what? Stay
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married to me.
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Abuse my insurance. What difference does
it make?
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It's hopeless.
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I'm destined to be alone.
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There you go, William. That's the
spirit.
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What?
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Okay.
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William, are those mittens?
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Don't be crazy.
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Mittens are for children and naughty
kittens.
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These are mantens.
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What's the difference between mittens
and mantens?
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Well, mantens are for men.
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If you'll excuse me, I've got to go have
a word with an unscrupulous
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haberdasher.
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Mantens. You'd think he'd learn his
lesson after the Pajamana scarf.
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As talented as he is, you've got to
wonder if he's ever going to find
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As much as I'd love to help the lonely
and the lovelorn, you know I do, Joan.
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I have bigger fish to fry. Where's this
Nostradamus of yours?
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I have some questions to ask him.
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I don't know.
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I saw him on the street.
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I don't know what his regular office
hours are. Well, maybe I just need to
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summon him up.
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Oh, witch!
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Present yourself.
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I guess I'm inspired.
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But I guess I have some sort of power
because, look, I just conjured up Brock.
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What?
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Sweetie, call me, okay?
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Brock?
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Joan. Hi.
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Oh, hi.
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Who's this?
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My beautiful niece, Katie.
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Katie, this is Joan.
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Hi, Katie.
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Nice to meet you, Katie.
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What do you say?
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Hi. Hi.
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She's a little shy.
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Wow.
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How are you?
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I'm good.
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I mean, it's been hard.
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Sometimes I really...
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I'm good.
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How are you?
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Not over you.
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Rock, we... I know, I know, I know.
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Come on.
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I promised her some ice cream, so...
Nice seeing you.
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Yeah, you too.
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We better go.
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Come on, sweetie.
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Say bye.
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Bye. Bye.
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She's right in front of you.
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Excuse me?
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You're talking to me?
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The woman you seek.
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She's right in front of you.
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Really?
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What do you know about what I seek?
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I know a great many things.
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00:09:01,100 --> 00:09:02,150
Yeah?
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You ever heard of man -tens?
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I still love him.
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And he still loves me. Anyone could see
it. What happened to you being at peace
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with your decision?
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Because some guy on the street said I
made the right decision?
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What does he know?
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When I saw Brock today, it just... It
felt so right.
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Joan, I think you should get back with
Brock. You should always do the opposite
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of whatever the devil tells you to do.
Like when you wouldn't let me go work
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William at first, and the devil told me
to kill you.
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Well, I did the opposite, and I didn't
kill you. Well, you see how great that's
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worked out.
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The devil told you to kill me?
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But on the other hand... Girl, what
about Brock not wanting kids?
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00:09:46,910 --> 00:09:49,140
Maybe it's enough to be married with no
kids.
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00:09:49,141 --> 00:09:53,369
I mean, Brock always said that we would
have kids in our lives, and you should
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have seen him with his niece today.
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God, they were... They were the perfect
picture.
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The only thing missing was me.
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Oh.
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00:10:04,910 --> 00:10:06,190
Why didn't I kill you?
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Maybe we should just be together for a
while and see what happens. I mean, I'm
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still young.
192
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I don't have to worry about having kids
right now.
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I mean, yeah.
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00:10:19,550 --> 00:10:24,489
On the one hand, the psychic said I made
the right decision, but yet on the
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other hand, fate led me to run into
Brock.
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Fate jumped psychic, right?
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00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:43,780
Brock, hey, it's Joan.
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I was wondering if you wanted to go to
lunch.
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00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:48,750
Call me.
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Bye.
201
00:11:00,820 --> 00:11:05,379
Lynn, have you ever considered the
possibility that what you seek is right
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00:11:05,380 --> 00:11:06,119
front of you?
203
00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:07,580
Well, let me see.
204
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,940
Yep, there it is, right in front of me.
205
00:11:10,941 --> 00:11:15,879
Look, I know we got married for all the
wrong reasons, but what if on some level
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00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:17,600
we got married for a right reason?
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00:11:17,820 --> 00:11:21,779
You're damn right we did. The doctor I
saw this morning removed enough wax from
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my ears to make a candle.
209
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:28,339
As much as I'd like to focus in on that
delightful image, I was referring to the
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00:11:28,340 --> 00:11:29,920
part... What are you doing?
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00:11:29,921 --> 00:11:32,479
I got a little piece of cherry stuck in
my teeth.
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00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:33,659
I'm sorry, you were saying?
213
00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:37,659
Oh, um, well, I was saying this man
stopped me on the street today, and he
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00:11:37,660 --> 00:11:38,710
the strangest thing.
215
00:11:39,420 --> 00:11:40,640
He said that I should...
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00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:52,240
He said that I... What he said was...
You know what?
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00:11:52,300 --> 00:11:53,350
Never mind.
218
00:11:56,811 --> 00:12:02,459
All right, my hands are still a little
cold. Oh, whoa, whoa.
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00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:03,510
You weren't kidding.
220
00:12:05,540 --> 00:12:08,020
So, you're still happy with the birth
control?
221
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:12,060
God, not really, considering my current
method's not getting any.
222
00:12:13,780 --> 00:12:14,830
Although, um...
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00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:19,339
I think I'll be getting back together
with my ex. Oh, good. I'm glad to hear
224
00:12:19,340 --> 00:12:21,020
that, because I know you want kids.
225
00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:25,419
Not to put any pressure on you or
anything, but you did make me promise to
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00:12:25,420 --> 00:12:29,060
that talk with you when the time came.
No, Dr. Myers, not the talk.
227
00:12:29,580 --> 00:12:30,630
Yes.
228
00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:31,970
Time for the talk.
229
00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:33,810
Right, right.
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00:12:35,540 --> 00:12:36,780
But I'm only 32.
231
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,690
I mean, I have plenty of time to have
kids.
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00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:44,519
The fact is, Joan, when a woman gets
pregnant after 35, the risk of having a
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00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:49,480
baby with chromosomal abnormalities such
as Down syndrome, Turner syndrome,
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00:12:49,481 --> 00:12:53,659
greatly increases. And that's assuming
the baby is even born, because then the
235
00:12:53,660 --> 00:12:58,639
risk of miscarriage also greatly
increases. And that's assuming that
236
00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:02,670
able to conceive, because then the rate
of infertility also greatly increases.
237
00:13:02,820 --> 00:13:05,220
But... But,
238
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,600
Dr. Myers, I'm only 32.
239
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:14,800
Yes. I know you all think you've got all
the time in the world.
240
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:21,719
And yes, there are many women in their
late 30s and their 40s who have healthy
241
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:28,259
babies. But I can't tell you how many
patients I have who wait to get pregnant
242
00:13:28,260 --> 00:13:33,299
and think that it's not going to be an
issue and then there's a problem. And
243
00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:35,740
they say to me, why didn't somebody tell
me?
244
00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:37,180
So I'm telling you.
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00:13:39,140 --> 00:13:44,419
If you want to have kids, it's time to
start on a path of getting pregnant in
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00:13:44,420 --> 00:13:45,470
the next few years.
247
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:47,130
Okay.
248
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:51,180
Everything looks good so far. You ready
for that rectal?
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00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:53,830
At this point, wouldn't that be
redundant?
250
00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:57,460
He told you to give it to Lynn.
251
00:13:57,461 --> 00:13:58,759
That's crazy.
252
00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:01,959
Well, at the time, there seemed to be a
logic to pursuing it, you know?
253
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:02,739
Oh, look.
254
00:14:02,740 --> 00:14:03,790
Look, look, look.
255
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:05,810
There he is. Oh, so that's the devil
man.
256
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,590
Well, I don't know if I call him the
devil man, but...
257
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,240
Yeah, that's a devil man.
258
00:14:10,241 --> 00:14:12,219
All right, William, hold my purse.
259
00:14:12,220 --> 00:14:14,270
I'm about to go over there and rebuke
him.
260
00:14:14,940 --> 00:14:17,590
Let's go slow, Maya. Let's not fight
crazy with crazy.
261
00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:22,550
Hi.
262
00:14:22,551 --> 00:14:25,579
You're the one going around telling
people all kinds of bull. They don't
263
00:14:25,580 --> 00:14:26,630
be here.
264
00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:29,350
You're full of a great deal of
negativity.
265
00:14:29,780 --> 00:14:30,920
Oh, hell no.
266
00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:32,820
See what I'm saying? Excuse me.
267
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:33,970
You,
268
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:35,780
sir, are charlatan.
269
00:14:36,170 --> 00:14:38,510
A mountebank, a scoundrel, and a knave.
270
00:14:40,890 --> 00:14:43,120
Sorry I had to use that harsh language
on you.
271
00:14:43,130 --> 00:14:44,180
But you hurt me.
272
00:14:44,970 --> 00:14:47,290
You won't know real hurt until 2006.
273
00:14:48,030 --> 00:14:51,520
But I digress. Wait a minute. What
happens in 2006? Relax. It'll be quick.
274
00:14:51,750 --> 00:14:53,430
Now, what are you bitching about?
275
00:14:54,090 --> 00:14:57,510
Oh, well, don't you know, Mr. Devil
Psychic Man?
276
00:14:58,250 --> 00:14:59,630
Is that how you get off, huh?
277
00:14:59,870 --> 00:15:03,170
By going around preying on lonely,
obviously desperate men?
278
00:15:03,890 --> 00:15:05,270
Sending us running to Lynn?
279
00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:09,099
I have a good mind to call the psychic
hotline and register a complaint.
280
00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:10,150
No, you're good.
281
00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:11,950
But you won't.
282
00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:13,950
Damn, you're good!
283
00:15:13,951 --> 00:15:16,539
Clearly there's been a misunderstanding.
284
00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:20,319
Usually when I impart my visions, I try
to make them sound a little mysterious.
285
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,520
It enhances the effect.
286
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:26,010
But I can see that I'm going to have to
be absolutely clear in this case.
287
00:15:26,620 --> 00:15:28,580
I did not send you running to live.
288
00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:32,320
When I said, she's right in front of
you.
289
00:15:36,420 --> 00:15:37,740
She's right in front of you.
290
00:15:37,741 --> 00:15:41,999
Just so we're absolutely clear, we're
talking about the woman in the green
291
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,260
about to turn the corner?
292
00:15:43,580 --> 00:15:44,630
That's right.
293
00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:46,570
She's cute.
294
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:48,410
Okay, thanks.
295
00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:54,870
You're just making this all up as you go
along, aren't you?
296
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:55,930
30 years from now?
297
00:15:57,820 --> 00:15:59,200
Don't get on the hovercraft.
298
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:11,770
Mind if I sit here?
299
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,160
Sure. Thank you. Thank you.
300
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:18,130
It's a nice day, huh?
301
00:16:19,140 --> 00:16:20,190
Mm -hmm.
302
00:16:21,140 --> 00:16:22,190
Nice day.
303
00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:25,910
I'm William.
304
00:16:27,780 --> 00:16:29,700
Look, I don't talk to strangers, okay?
305
00:16:30,260 --> 00:16:31,310
That's a wise policy.
306
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:36,999
Although it's a bit of a catch -22. I
mean, the only way for someone not to be
307
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,500
stranger is to get to know them.
308
00:16:38,501 --> 00:16:42,069
Yet if you never talk to strangers, how
can you ever get to know anyone?
309
00:16:42,070 --> 00:16:43,069
Yeah, whatever.
310
00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:44,120
Ah, good point.
311
00:16:44,510 --> 00:16:46,500
I can see you have a keen mind for
debate.
312
00:16:48,830 --> 00:16:49,880
Sorry.
313
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,060
I'm not interested.
314
00:16:54,370 --> 00:16:55,670
But I'm a nice guy.
315
00:16:57,170 --> 00:16:58,220
Says you.
316
00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:01,990
You could be crazy or abusive or
married.
317
00:17:02,530 --> 00:17:07,750
I give you my word, I am not crazy or
abusive or crazy.
318
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:11,090
All right, then.
319
00:17:11,260 --> 00:17:12,460
It's nice talking to you.
320
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:14,169
See you around.
321
00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:21,040
Lynn, I need you to sign me the moment,
Peter.
322
00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:23,579
Oh, my God, William.
323
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,500
When do you wear glasses?
324
00:17:26,501 --> 00:17:30,179
I went to the doctor to find out why my
left hand's been getting all blurry.
325
00:17:30,180 --> 00:17:33,140
Turns out the problem isn't my left
hand. It's my left eye.
326
00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:35,320
Isn't modern medicine amazing?
327
00:17:35,331 --> 00:17:37,399
That's great.
328
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,200
But I can't be married to you anymore.
329
00:17:39,201 --> 00:17:40,759
What? It's because there were glasses?
330
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,620
Jesus, I get LASIK next week.
331
00:17:43,580 --> 00:17:45,680
My insurance is not going to cover
LASIK.
332
00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:47,540
Maybe if you call a brain surgeon.
333
00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,640
Whatever, Lynn. I met somebody.
334
00:17:51,060 --> 00:17:52,740
What? You've been cheating on me?
335
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:53,970
Lynn.
336
00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:55,170
Okay.
337
00:17:55,420 --> 00:17:57,040
Fine. You met someone.
338
00:17:57,580 --> 00:17:58,630
What's her name?
339
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:00,530
I don't know.
340
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,320
But aren't you dating her?
341
00:18:02,620 --> 00:18:05,210
Well, not exactly. I freaked her out and
she ran away.
342
00:18:05,260 --> 00:18:06,960
But I intend on finding her.
343
00:18:07,350 --> 00:18:08,400
And trying again.
344
00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:12,540
And even if she's not the one, I have
renewed faith that I will find the one.
345
00:18:12,910 --> 00:18:15,200
And if I'm going to do that, I can't be
married.
346
00:18:15,830 --> 00:18:18,060
Especially to some toothpick and four
eyes.
347
00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:20,950
Okay, I can respect that.
348
00:18:20,951 --> 00:18:24,069
But I'm not going to bow out without
protecting myself.
349
00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:26,349
What's the name of that guy you
mentioned to me, supposed to be like the
350
00:18:26,350 --> 00:18:29,310
cutthroat divorce attorney in L .A.? Leo
Postranet.
351
00:18:29,311 --> 00:18:31,649
When did I ever mention him to you? Just
now.
352
00:18:31,650 --> 00:18:33,070
You're going down, buddy.
353
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:05,730
It's me.
354
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:07,700
You're not coming, are you?
355
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:10,210
I'm sorry.
356
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:12,700
Joan, it's just lunch.
357
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:14,090
No.
358
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:16,200
It's not just lunch.
359
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:19,090
Brock.
360
00:19:20,060 --> 00:19:23,610
My gynecologist told me that I have to
start thinking about the future.
361
00:19:25,820 --> 00:19:27,100
I have to move on.
362
00:19:27,780 --> 00:19:31,640
Wait. Your gynecologist told you not to
see me.
363
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:36,310
She was validating what my psychic said.
364
00:19:37,070 --> 00:19:38,490
Are you kidding me?
365
00:19:39,070 --> 00:19:42,030
Well, I mean, he's not just my psychic.
366
00:19:46,090 --> 00:19:47,140
Okay.
367
00:19:47,550 --> 00:19:48,600
Goodbye.
368
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:09,900
You made the right decision.
369
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,180
You made the right decision.
370
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,620
You made the right decision.
371
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:19,680
She's right in front of you.
372
00:20:19,821 --> 00:20:22,549
You made the right decision.
373
00:20:22,550 --> 00:20:27,100
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