Original subtitles

Hi, sweetie.

Hi. What are you doing here?

Well, me and my little man are out cruising for chicks.

His moms are at some invitation -only lesbian soiree.

There's a promise of pictures.

Anyway, we were in the neighborhood, and he goes, Hey, ain't that Auntie Joan's

house?

William, I know what you're doing.

You came over here because I broke up with Brock because he didn't want to

children, and you figured that a baby would share a poor child with Joan.

No.

I just don't do the poopy diapers.

hiding game again.

Where could he be?

Nope, not in the drawer.

Not in the candy jar. Somebody must have found a new hiding place.

Hello, dear.

Oh, babe, you ruined it for me. Where were you? In one of my shoe boxes?

Is that a reference to the fact that I'm short?

That your feet are so damn big.

Finally,

something that isn't a bill.

A check for $900? Now that's my kind of card.

Dear Tony, given the horrible thing I did, I understand why you didn't return

message before your wedding.

But your fiancé sounded nice.

I just wanted you to know I'm sincerely happy for you.

I also wanted to pay you back at least the financial part of what I owe you.

All the best, Greg.

What the hell is this?

A guy named Greg did call.

Six months ago.

A guy named Greg? Yeah, I'm sorry. I guess I forgot.

You forgot?

My ex -boyfriend, the love of my life, called and you forgot?

The love of your life? Don't be trying to change the subject.

Last time you saw the love of your life, he was screwing another woman right

here in your living room.

Honey, why do you care that he called anyway?

Todd, I care.

that you would keep something from me.

I care that the issue of trust keeps coming up in our marriage.

What other messages didn't I get? Huh? Did Terrell Davis call?

Did Clay Spencer call?

Who were they?

My ex -fiances, but we're not on that.

Okay, you want to know the truth?

I was afraid of losing you.

I get that. Go on.

We hadn't dated very long, and I knew that Greg was the one great love of your

life, as you keep reminding me, so...

I was afraid if he was back in the picture, I might lose you to him. And I

didn't want to lose you. I wanted to win.

But you never thought about what I needed.

Greg hurt me, Todd. And according to this, he had some regrets. I needed to

that. I still need to hear it. Why?

Because. Because why?

Because I'm adopted.

What? I don't know. It always works for land.

I'm trying to catch the baby's breath on this mirror.

He's been sleeping for an awfully long time. He even slept through his diaper

being changed. I think something could be wrong.

Oh, no. Let sleeping babies lie, Joan.

You know, the dint men are known for their sleeping skills.

Isn't that right, little buddy?

Little buddy.

That too, little buddy. That too. Oh, my God, he's in a coma.

No, no, there he is.

There he is, smiling away.

There you go, daddy.

Told you he's fine.

William, now that he's up, can I hold him?

Sure.

Rock him gently between your breasts and put him to sleep.

Or improvise with what you have.

Are you sure it's okay? Because, you know, some babies don't do well with

strangers. Oh, sure. Look.

My little Willie is the perfect pass -around baby.

He loves everybody.

Except for you.

Hey, baby.

How was practice?

It was all right.

Did you thank Armani's mom for giving you a ride home?

Yeah.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm good.

You know what, Jabari?

When something's bothering me, it always makes me feel better to just talk about

it. I'm his mom, remember?

Thanks.

You know, Jabari, baby.

When something's bothering me, it always makes me feel better.

Talk about it.

I don't want to. You better tell me what's wrong.

Everybody at school thinks you two are lesbos.

What? Tabari!

Lesbo is a derogatory term. The proper word is lesbian.

Well, everybody at school thinks you two are lesbians.

That's better.

No, it's not, Lynn.

Jabari, baby, why don't you just tell your friends that Mommy's friend is just

staying with her and sleeping in the same bed and... Oh, hell.

You know what? I want you to go in the back room and I'll explain to you later.

Daddy's picking me up. I'll just ask him right.

No, you better not say anything to him.

Get all hot and bothered for no reason.

This is crazy.

I mean, what about me says a lesbian?

Well, you did leave your husband.

And there's the bang.

What? Girl, you got bangs.

Yeah, but mine looks straight.

Shut up.

You know what? Even if I were a lesbian, what would I be doing with you?

What's that supposed to mean?

I'm just saying.

You're not my type.

What's wrong with me?

I don't know.

I just think I could do better.

Joan, give me the baby. No, no, no. I got it. He's been wailing. for 30

Maybe he just needs a little back rub. Come on.

Okay. So maybe I need to break out my toys.

Yeah. You go pleasure yourself and I'll calm the baby.

No, I've got baby toys.

Oh, dear, Joan.

I've got some baby toys.

Okay, sweetie.

Okay, sweetie.

Oh, look, he's quieted down.

So, let me have him back.

Let me have him back.

It's okay.

Oh, my God.

He hates me.

I can't believe I gave up my enchanted love to be the object of hatred.

You know, you can always call up Brock and go, Hey, talk about irony.

All right.

Give me back the crybaby. Come on.

Leave her. You know, it's like the girl has lost her damn mind.

What are you doing to little Willie?

Nothing. He likes me.

Yeah, it must be nice to be liked.

What's your problem?

Apparently I'm not good enough to be Maya's lesbian lover.

What?

Perhaps I could be a help here.

And what the hell's going on here?

Okay, well, apparently some kids... Let me have a look.

Okay, yeah, yeah, you go. Okay, yeah, well, some kids at the school were

Jabari, telling him that he had two mommies because they thought that Lynn

were... lesbians.

And apparently she'd rather die than be a lesbian with me. I never said that!

Naya, I think you're being a tad hasty. You should give Lynn a chance and then

decide. Oh, what, so you can watch?

And then jump in if the spirit moves me, of course.

Look, you guys, you know what? I have absolutely nothing against lesbians. I

don't. I'm just not one.

Sweetie, those banks be different.

Oh!

You will not believe what he's done now.

Okay, I gotta start locking my door.

Go ahead. I have a key.

That man is nothing but a pack of secret slime.

I found out Greg called right before the wedding, and Todd never gave me the

message.

Oh!

Oh, God.

Okay, bitch.

I was so mad, I just had to get out of there. Well, damn, Tony, I wouldn't have

given you the message either.

But more importantly, we just discovered that Maya and Lynn are lesbians.

Are you interested in a threesome?

I knew something was up with you when you got those bangs.

Yeah, but mine look straight.

Tony, after everything that Greg did, why would you want anything to do with

that man?

You sound like Todd.

Nobody seems to...

closure i thought you got that when you told a little man i do oh little maya

you should be a lesbian because you don't know a thing about exacting

a man greg is gonna die when he sees me i've been at the gym all day i'm gonna

buy a new outfit a new spray mist you know so i look all fresh and dewy that

will fall to his knees and beg me to take him back but i'll coldly disregard

feelings with thinly veiled disdain and i'll toss out phrases like

I know how devastating this must be for you.

And we could never be.

And right when he's a quivering puddle of yearning and regret, I'll grind my

heel into his heart and say, good day.

And then he'll whimper, Tony, Tony.

And then I'll say, I said good day.

I must be a lesbian because I was way too much work.

You are a lesbian. Well, that makes me feel a whole lot better.

Go after her.

Todd,

I thought about everything you said.

I talked to my God and my girlfriends, and I've decided the best thing I could

do for our marriage is to not base my decisions on your insecurities.

I need closure.

So, um, I'm going to go and see him. Tony, I forbid you to go. You forbid me

go? Are you joking?

You can't keep me from going. In case you hadn't heard, slavery is over.

What, you hadn't heard?

Todd, it's foreclosure, which means to end.

If it's to end, it means it hasn't ended yet, so he's still a threat to our

relationship. You are tripping. Am I? You do the math.

Greg is better looking than I am. He's taller, more artistic, and black.

What does this being black have to do with it? Come on, honey. I hear you and

your girlfriends.

Ooh, look at that fine black man.

You never hear me say, ooh, look at that attractive white woman.

Todd, I love you.

I love you. Trust me.

You have nothing to worry about. Just let me do this. Fine.

Do it.

I'm coming with you.

No! I don't need you babysitting me.

If I don't go with you, I won't be here when you get back.

You're locked.

Bye.

Tony.

Greg.

I'm glad you came.

Did you run here? You're sweating. No, no.

I'm dewy fresh.

I've got to admit, I was a little surprised you called. But thrilled,

nonetheless.

Yeah.

Look, Tony, obviously... Look, look, look, look, look.

I know you're desperately clinging to the hope that you can convince me to get

back together with you, but I've moved on.

You mean nothing to me now. I mean, I'm a married woman.

That's good, Tony.

I just thought that we could move past the hurtful stuff. Hurtful? Ain't nobody

hurt.

I'm happy, Craig.

Blissfully happy.

Well, I just wanted you to know, then, how sorry... Look, I know how

this must be for you.

But I love Todd. We could never be.

Tony, I'm getting married.

Say what?

I wanted to tell you that...

I was really happy for you because I know now what a wonderful thing it is to

find the right person.

There's no drama.

There's no hurting each other.

I found my soulmate.

That's great, Greg.

I'm happy for you.

Good day.

Tony! I said good day.

Once more, good day.

God, what a joke.

What a joke.

Okay, baby.

I break up with a guy because he doesn't want children in him. I find out that

children don't want me.

John, sweetie, maybe you're just trying too hard.

Maybe I'm not meant to be a mother.

John.

Oh, my God.

I'm gonna be a good mother.

Just pull back the blanket so you don't smother it.

Oh, you guys.

Todd left me.

Oh, girl, please tell me you did not go and see Greg.

Where were you when I was over here telling you all that I was going to see

Greg? I didn't think he was serious.

Well, I was and I did and my husband's gone. You getting it now?

What happens to me? As beautiful as I am, they always leave me.

Come on, Tony.

You know he loves you.

Maybe he's just blowing off some steam.

What did he say when he left?

I didn't see him. He was gone when I got home.

Maybe he just went out to get a sandwich or something.

You know you don't cook.

Or maybe he went out to a strip club.

You know you don't cook.

I'm telling you he's gone.

Guys, I'm getting a divorce.

And I just got a new check.

Tony, sweetie, before you go talking about lawyers and crying about getting a

divorce, you need to go home.

Come on, sweetie.

Go home.

Yeah.

Well, can't you guys come with me?

No.

You got to do this one by yourself, Tony.

Go on.

But if you get there and you find out he is really gone, call me.

Because I know what it feels like to be rejected.

Logic!

If you're leaving, you might as well get your stuff now.

No use dragging this out.

No, I already got my stuff. I just came in for a couple of things.

I'll give you your key.

Oh, hell no!

Are you really trying to leave me?

Yeah, Tony, I am.

If it's not Greg, you're going to leave me for someone else one day.

What am I sticking around here for, the short jokes?

See? I knew you were going to leave me.

You're just looking for an excuse.

You're just like all the others.

Oh, you mean your other fiancés?

We're not on that right now.

We're on the fact that you knew you married a shallow woman.

You know I come with a lot of baggage. I'm a lot of work.

But you said I was worth it. No, Tony. You said you were worth it. But you

didn't disagree.

You're supposed to stick around.

After you go see the love of your life?

Tony, I don't understand you.

Why would you intentionally try to hurt me?

Why would you push me away?

To test you.

Well, pass or fail, I'm out of here.

No, no, no. What are you doing? Don't leave me. Get down.

Don't leave me. Get down.

Todd, don't leave me.

I can't survive that.

I don't think I can survive you.

Okay, okay, here's the truth. Here's the truth.

The worst part of me.

Needed to see Greg for revenge.

But the best part of me is about to walk out that door.

I know Greg is the love of my life.

Because he hurt me worse than...

Tony, we made a commitment for better for worse.

Had enough of the worse.

Can we please just start over?

I think it's too late to start over.

But...

We could keep

working on making it better. Owen!

How can we make it with her?

Well, I could start by giving you that message from Terrell Davis.

Lynn, how long are you going to give me this silent treatment?

Okay, Maya.

I just want to know why you don't want me. I mean, what about me is so yucky

that you can't get with me? Is it my tattoos, my face, my body?

You into chocolate, honey?

I think you're beautiful.

I do.

And if it were just about look, I'd get with you in a second.

Really?

So what's all this been about?

I just wouldn't want a long -term relationship with some leeching loser

still trying to find herself.

I mean, I got a son to think about.

So, if you saw me in a club and you just wanted a one -night stand, you'd do me?

Yeah. I'd tap it.

You thinking what I'm thinking?

You better go to sleep.