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Good morning.
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I'm in morning, Joan.
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And there's nothing good about it.
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William, that's enough wedding cake and
that's enough champagne.
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Where are my Swedish meatballs?
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They were turning green.
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And? And? That's enough. Come on,
William. It's been two weeks and... Say
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Joan. Since Yvonne left you at the
altar.
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You just had to say it, didn't you?
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Come on, William. Look at you. You're a
mess.
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You're shaking. I mean, you've got to
eat some real food.
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I paid for the cake. I'm going to eat
the cake.
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I paid for the champagne. I'm going to
drink the champagne.
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It's my honeymoon, and I'll do it every
day while I please.
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William, I've really enjoyed having you
as a guest, but maybe it's time for you
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to ease back into the real world and go
back home.
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Home, Joan?
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Yeah.
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The home I bought for her. Okay.
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It was just a suggestion.
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You're welcome to stay. I'm just a
little concerned.
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Well, thank you, Joan.
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But look at me. I'm fine.
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Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going back
to my room.
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I mean, my lanai in Maui.
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You're so late. You ready to go? Oh, no,
girl, you go ahead.
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No, it's okay. I'll wait. No, I still
have some files and things to go
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Girl, you know me. Work, work, work.
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Yeah, I do know you. And I know I don't
want you and Stan in my office.
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Stan. Stan.
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Joan, I... Look, everybody except for
Darnell knows that you're still seeing
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him. I am not still seeing him. Swear
right now to God, Maya.
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Okay, maybe I am still seeing him.
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But really, God and Joan, he is just a
friend. Yeah, whatever.
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if you want to risk ruining your life
fine that's up to you but don't do it in
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my office or on my desk
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here. What is that? Oh, you like it?
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Yeah, it's called, uh, Maya.
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Really? Yeah, yeah.
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So, um, where can I get some Maya?
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They don't sell it in the stores. It's
too expensive.
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Dan, do you think
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men and women can just be friends
instead of, well, you know, friends?
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Of course they can.
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Look at us. We're just friends instead
of, you know, friends.
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Exactly.
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Yeah, you're my boy. You're my girl.
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Sidekick. My road dog. My ace boom.
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Homie. Give me a pound.
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Girl,
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you are better than me. Depressed or not
depressed. I would have put him out
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long ago.
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Okay, the man is... Funky.
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You know, there's a theory that when a
person slips into a depression, you have
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to let them hit rock bottom before they
can work their way back up.
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William's going to be fine.
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On the other hand, he could slip into a
catatonic state.
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Then your best bet's to leave him by the
freeway.
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You guys, I really appreciate your help,
but as much as I want William out of my
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house, I don't really think we should be
talking about it while he's here.
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Oh, it's okay, Joan.
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I can barely hear you above the ocean
waves.
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Guys, sit down.
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We are sitting down. Okay, good then.
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We need to talk.
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Stan and I kissed. Oh, God, we don't
want to hear it. Wait, I do? Yeah, me
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It's either that or talk about William.
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That kiss was just...
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piece of fickle.
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Okay, okay, okay, okay. That's just
nasty.
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Kissing Stan was the worst mistake of my
life. No, getting emotionally involved
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with Stan was the worst mistake of your
life. And I know that now.
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While I was drying my face and icing my
lip, I realized that I have been
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cheating on my husband.
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Everything I've been doing with Stan was
wrong.
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I loved her now. I love my family.
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And that kiss was a light bulb that woke
me up.
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Well, I'm glad something woke you up.
Because us telling you every five
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that you were cheating was not doing the
trick.
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I never liked that guy anyway.
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You were carrying on with him for how
long? He never once sprung for a hotel
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room or whisked you away for the
weekend?
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That's no way for a real man to carry on
an affair.
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00:06:02,260 --> 00:06:05,999
You know, I need a white woman because
I've just about had it with you black
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men.
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William. No, I'm fed up.
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The whole problem with the world today
is black women.
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You say you want a good man, and then
you cheat on him.
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You say you want a good man, you leave
him at the altar.
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You say you want to help a good man, you
throw away the meatballs he paid good
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money for.
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Okay, William, we know you're hurting,
but you don't have to take your
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frustration with Yvonne out on all black
women. Oh, and this is coming from the
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black woman who lured an innocent island
boy from the warm sands of Jamaica,
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where she...
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Made him live in a rat -infested garage,
and she lambasted him for buying her a
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puppy dog for Christmas.
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Hey, hey, hey, hey.
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My mama's garage does not have rats.
Rats!
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Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.
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Don't even get me started on Tony
Chlamydia Childs over here.
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I could go on, but I'm late for my hula
lesson.
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You told him I had chlamydia?
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Oh, Tony, don't be so self -absorbed.
We're talking about Maya.
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Yeah. Stupid, cheating Maya.
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Look, the important thing is that you
broke it off with Stan before he, you
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know... Tapped that ass.
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Well, here's the thing about that. He
did tap that ass?
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No. No, no. I, uh... I didn't quite
break up.
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What's that?
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Maya? Well, you guys, in my haste to get
over here and have a girlfriend's
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moment, I may have neglected to make it
clear as such that I didn't want to see
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him anymore. Maya, how could you not
break it off with him?
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Because it's hard.
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You need to be a woman about yours,
Maya, until Sloppy Lips is over.
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Listen, girl, I don't have much
experience breaking up with men. I mean,
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been with Darnell since I was in high
school.
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Well, how'd you break up with a
boyfriend before Darnell?
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At recess, I kicked him in the coconuts
and ran.
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Well, try that.
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And if that doesn't work, have Joan tell
him that you've got chlamydia.
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How's my baby doing?
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Hey.
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You know what? We need to talk about
last night.
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Listen, I know we crossed a line. I know
you're a married woman.
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And although this isn't going to be
easy, we have to face the fact that...
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We were in love with each other. That
kiss said it. I felt it. And I know you
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felt it.
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Stan, I care about you. I do. And I
value every moment that we've spent
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together. But you're scared. You're
scared. I know. I know. Look, we can
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slow. Because I cannot lose you. Do you
know what you did for me last night? You
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woke me up.
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When I left Atlanta, my world was dark.
There was nobody special in my life. And
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then I come to L .A. and bam!
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I saw the light!
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And the light was you.
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You.
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You light up my life.
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You give me hope to carry on. Stop it.
Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop
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singing. Stop it. Stop.
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I know I'm not a singer, okay?
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But you make me want to sing.
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We can't live a lie anymore.
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We've got to tell Darnell about us.
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What?
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Are you crazy? Yes, I am crazy in love.
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Now, let's just take the man out, sit
him down, and tell him tonight. Oh, my
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God, you never know.
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Maria. Maria, Darnell's not the man for
you, baby. You have made that clear.
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And you cannot deny what we have.
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Look, sweetheart, if you are too scared
to tell Darnell about us, baby, I will.
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Morning.
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00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:03,480
Hi. Hi. Stan.
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Um, listen, I'll call you later. Okay,
don't worry. Okay? We'll work this out.
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Sweet, are you okay?
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He said he's going to tell Darnell.
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Oh, God.
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I'm going to lose everything.
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Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh.
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Why
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is
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it that other people can go out and have
affairs and get away with it? You know,
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I go out and have one little affair and
he wants to go and tell my husband.
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Look, look, look, look, look. I have a
lot of experience with men and trust me.
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The guy's bluffing.
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They do that, you know.
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00:10:42,431 --> 00:10:45,889
Okay, let me just get one thing
straight.
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Did he really sing You Light Up My Life?
Yes. He knew all the lyrics?
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Yes. Oh, yeah, this guy's psycho.
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He may have some gender issues, too.
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But this is all my fault.
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Wait, where are you going? I'm supposed
to meet Stan at Army, and I'm going to
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do what I should have done. Tell the man
to leave me the hell alone. No, no, no,
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no, no. You are not going anywhere near
that man.
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You need to lay low.
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Take some vacation time.
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Maybe you should join William in Hawaii.
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00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:23,039
You know, I do know a guy who knows a
guy who could, you know, arrange for...
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00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:26,180
Nah, then I have to date him again. I
don't want to go there.
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00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:29,520
Listen, Maya, I'm going to work.
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I'll tell him.
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I've dated my share of losers, maniacs,
and perverts. Believe me, I know how to
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handle a singing sociopath.
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00:11:36,980 --> 00:11:38,540
Well, hey, hey, be careful.
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Don't provoke him, okay?
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Don't worry.
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I'll handle him with kid gloves.
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Maya hates your guts.
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00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:49,760
What? Don't interrupt. I got two minutes
to do this.
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00:11:49,761 --> 00:11:51,859
Maya doesn't want to see you anymore.
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00:11:51,860 --> 00:11:54,460
Well, Maya's just confused. No, you're
confused.
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00:11:54,461 --> 00:11:58,059
She tried to break up with you this
morning, but you wouldn't listen. You
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00:11:58,060 --> 00:12:00,040
break into love songs from the 70s.
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00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:04,080
Did Maya send you to tell me this? No, I
volunteered.
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00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:05,930
She's scared of you.
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00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:07,090
Scared?
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00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:11,809
All I ever did was be there for her,
give her a shoulder to cry on, the love
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00:12:11,810 --> 00:12:14,989
support that she wasn't getting at home.
So what's she got to be scared of?
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00:12:14,990 --> 00:12:17,820
Well, for starters, she's afraid you'll
try to kiss her.
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00:12:19,290 --> 00:12:21,400
Nobody could face that kind of hell
again.
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00:12:24,450 --> 00:12:25,500
She told you that?
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00:12:25,890 --> 00:12:27,230
Some other choice words.
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00:12:29,150 --> 00:12:31,260
But I can say I've already hurt you
enough.
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00:12:33,070 --> 00:12:35,930
Look, Stan, I know I'm being a little
rough on you.
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00:12:36,620 --> 00:12:40,110
But I just want to make it loud and
clear that it's over between the two.
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00:12:40,580 --> 00:12:42,800
Fine. Fine, I get the picture.
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00:12:43,460 --> 00:12:44,980
Tell Maya she's got her wish.
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00:12:45,340 --> 00:12:46,760
I'm out of her life for good.
209
00:12:48,780 --> 00:12:52,879
Well, now that you've probably lost your
appetite, could you knock back that
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00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:55,230
water? Because we could really use this
table.
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00:12:58,620 --> 00:13:02,519
Something's wrong. Lynn hasn't called
yet. Maya, don't worry. Lynn can handle
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00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,179
this. You know what? You don't know
Stan.
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00:13:04,180 --> 00:13:05,300
Do you know Stan?
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00:13:08,460 --> 00:13:10,440
and you didn't see that coming, did you?
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00:13:12,571 --> 00:13:19,739
I know you're going through some things,
but you still need to be answering my
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00:13:19,740 --> 00:13:20,790
phone.
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00:13:23,020 --> 00:13:24,160
Joan Clayton's office.
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00:13:24,161 --> 00:13:26,799
Hey, Maya, it's Lynn. Oh, girl, girl,
what happened?
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00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:30,230
Well, Missy, that little horn dog's been
roped, tied, and put to bed.
220
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,380
So you did it? Yeah, piece of cake.
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00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:34,030
How'd he take it?
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00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:37,360
He took it like a man. He's hurt, but
he'll get over it.
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00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:39,780
Oh, my God, Lynn.
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00:13:39,990 --> 00:13:43,370
Thank you. Thank you so much for giving
me my life back.
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00:13:43,610 --> 00:13:47,829
You're the best. I owe you. You think
you could get your mom to waive the rent
226
00:13:47,830 --> 00:13:48,880
next month?
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00:13:50,110 --> 00:13:51,230
Lynn, I can't do that.
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00:14:11,950 --> 00:14:13,000
How was work?
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00:14:13,410 --> 00:14:14,460
Good.
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00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:15,930
How are you doing today?
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00:14:16,610 --> 00:14:20,270
Well, I thought about going parasailing,
but it got too windy.
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00:14:22,050 --> 00:14:25,570
Look, William, you got to pull it
together.
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00:14:25,850 --> 00:14:27,900
You're going to go back to work on
Monday.
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00:14:29,450 --> 00:14:30,770
Sorry I've been such a pain.
235
00:14:31,030 --> 00:14:32,230
Oh, no.
236
00:14:33,210 --> 00:14:35,860
I understand. You're just going through
a rough time.
237
00:14:36,410 --> 00:14:39,240
I shouldn't have said those things about
black women. No.
238
00:14:39,770 --> 00:14:40,820
I was just hurt.
239
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:42,720
I love black women.
240
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:45,300
You know, my mother's a black woman.
241
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,880
Tyra Banks is a black woman. God knows I
love Tyra Banks.
242
00:14:50,881 --> 00:14:55,819
The flirtatious young lady who delivered
my pizza today was a black woman. You
243
00:14:55,820 --> 00:14:56,859
had pizza today?
244
00:14:56,860 --> 00:14:57,910
Well, that's great.
245
00:14:58,240 --> 00:14:59,290
That's a step.
246
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:04,820
You know, John, I love you, and you're a
black woman. Oh, I love you, too.
247
00:15:05,940 --> 00:15:08,920
But please, God, please take a shower.
248
00:15:32,630 --> 00:15:36,529
Hi, how you doing? How you doing? How
you doing? I was just, uh, schooling my
249
00:15:36,530 --> 00:15:39,230
boy Stan here in a little game of
Madden.
250
00:15:39,630 --> 00:15:41,690
Stan, this is my wife, Mud. Hi.
251
00:15:42,070 --> 00:15:43,120
Nice to meet you.
252
00:15:43,750 --> 00:15:44,890
Oh, what? Nice watch.
253
00:15:47,910 --> 00:15:49,960
We met down at the Y playing ball
tonight.
254
00:15:50,170 --> 00:15:53,000
Yeah, I took the ball to the hole. Your
husband laid me out.
255
00:15:53,001 --> 00:15:57,269
I did try to take the man's head off, so
I figured the least I could do is get
256
00:15:57,270 --> 00:15:58,320
him a beer, you know?
257
00:15:58,730 --> 00:16:00,050
You ready for another one?
258
00:16:00,051 --> 00:16:01,169
Yes, please.
259
00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:02,019
Right on.
260
00:16:02,020 --> 00:16:03,700
Stan just moved here from Atlanta.
261
00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:06,659
Oh, yeah? So I told him that me and
Peanut on the crew would take him out,
262
00:16:06,660 --> 00:16:08,280
introduce him to some of them L .A.
263
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:11,220
honeys. Yeah, man, I can't wait to meet
Peanut.
264
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:17,660
And then... Hey, Maya, check this out.
265
00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:20,460
Guess where Stan works?
266
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:22,720
Where, honey? In your building.
267
00:16:23,140 --> 00:16:25,250
Like, a floor above you. Isn't that
crazy?
268
00:16:25,260 --> 00:16:26,310
Yeah.
269
00:16:26,380 --> 00:16:27,430
It's nice.
270
00:16:27,431 --> 00:16:30,479
I'm surprised you two haven't bumped
into each other. I mean, come on, ain't
271
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:33,610
about what likes. Six black folks
working the entire building.
272
00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:35,330
Seven now.
273
00:16:35,340 --> 00:16:36,390
Seven now.
274
00:16:37,140 --> 00:16:39,260
Baby, so what's for dinner?
275
00:16:40,460 --> 00:16:41,800
Meatloaf. Oh, my favorite.
276
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:47,320
Stan, you a meatloaf man? I love
meatloaf. Loves meatloaf.
277
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:52,239
You know what I'm saying? Man after my
own heart. And yo, bruh, mine's meatloaf
278
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,040
is banging. Oh, baby, come on now. It
ain't that.
279
00:16:55,460 --> 00:16:56,510
Yes, it is.
280
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:59,210
Girl, I'm trying to act all new in front
of company.
281
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:04,960
Stan, she know her stuff is good. Yeah,
I'm quite sure it is.
282
00:17:06,260 --> 00:17:07,310
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
283
00:17:07,540 --> 00:17:09,040
You got a steak for dinner, man.
284
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:11,970
Oh, sure, it's cool. If it's okay with
Maya, yeah.
285
00:17:12,020 --> 00:17:13,319
No problem.
286
00:17:14,220 --> 00:17:15,270
Cool, cool.
287
00:17:15,271 --> 00:17:19,318
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm about to
bust if I don't get to that man I'm mad
288
00:17:19,319 --> 00:17:20,369
about now.
289
00:17:21,220 --> 00:17:22,270
Thanks.
290
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:29,040
What kind of thick and twisted game are
you playing?
291
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:30,370
What game?
292
00:17:31,020 --> 00:17:33,010
There's no game, baby. This is your
life.
293
00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:36,099
You can't run around and play with
people's feelings because you don't know
294
00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:40,260
you want. Yeah, I know what I want. I
want my family. Oh, so Lynn tells me.
295
00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:41,900
That among other things.
296
00:17:41,901 --> 00:17:45,599
And you really lucked up, baby, because
I had every intention of telling Darnell
297
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,100
everything down at the Y today.
298
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,250
Why didn't you?
299
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:53,400
Well, because I guess I don't make it a
practice to bad kiss and tell, Maya.
300
00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:55,500
Something you should learn.
301
00:17:55,501 --> 00:17:58,919
Besides, why ruin his day? He's not the
one out there creeping around, now is
302
00:17:58,920 --> 00:17:59,970
he?
303
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:10,279
I'm sorry. I know I hurt you, and I know
that I've driven you to this, but
304
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:11,330
that's crazy.
305
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:16,020
You know what's crazy? What's crazy is
you giving yourself so much credit.
306
00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:17,800
You've driven me to this.
307
00:18:18,500 --> 00:18:22,639
You know, believe it or not, I can
actually live with the fact that you
308
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:23,559
want me.
309
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:28,440
I just hope that you can live with me
hanging out with my new best bud,
310
00:18:30,060 --> 00:18:32,290
You're just going to tell Donnell about
us?
311
00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:34,080
Maybe I will, maybe I won't.
312
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:38,440
I'm going to have a lot of fun watching
you squirm.
313
00:18:40,740 --> 00:18:44,340
All right.
314
00:18:44,660 --> 00:18:48,560
I've emptied the tank. Now it's time to
get spanked. I thought you fell in.
315
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:51,660
I did. And while I was down there, I
found your gang.
316
00:18:53,140 --> 00:18:54,190
Funny.
317
00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:56,580
Yeah. You ready to redeem yourself?
318
00:18:56,940 --> 00:18:57,990
Let's do this.
319
00:19:09,950 --> 00:19:11,510
That's the song you're humming.
320
00:19:11,511 --> 00:19:15,769
It's just something I heard on the radio
in the car. It's kind of stuck in my
321
00:19:15,770 --> 00:19:16,820
head.
322
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:31,229
You light up my life. Oh,
323
00:19:31,230 --> 00:19:32,970
you remember that?
324
00:19:33,670 --> 00:19:36,350
That used to be your mama's jam back in
the day.
325
00:19:56,590 --> 00:19:58,700
Taking a day trip to the big island
today?
326
00:20:00,370 --> 00:20:02,290
No, Joan, I'm going home.
327
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:04,620
Are you sure?
328
00:20:04,790 --> 00:20:10,069
Yeah. Gave myself two weeks to get over
Yvonne. Those two weeks are up, so I
329
00:20:10,070 --> 00:20:11,329
guess I'm ready to move on.
330
00:20:11,330 --> 00:20:13,800
Well, it's really good to have you back,
William.
331
00:20:13,910 --> 00:20:14,960
It's good to be back.
332
00:20:16,330 --> 00:20:19,410
Oh, oh, and you took a shower.
333
00:20:20,270 --> 00:20:21,320
Two.
334
00:20:22,510 --> 00:20:24,620
Will you stay and have breakfast with
me?
335
00:20:24,970 --> 00:20:26,020
No.
336
00:20:26,510 --> 00:20:27,560
for me to shove off.
337
00:20:27,890 --> 00:20:29,690
It's a beautiful day out there, Joan.
338
00:20:30,590 --> 00:20:31,710
The sun is shining.
339
00:20:32,670 --> 00:20:33,720
Birds are singing.
340
00:20:34,810 --> 00:20:37,070
It's a nice thin layer of L .A. smog.
341
00:20:38,650 --> 00:20:40,910
Oh, look, it's a perfect little cloud,
Joan.
342
00:20:42,530 --> 00:20:43,830
Looks just like Yvonne.
343
00:20:47,870 --> 00:20:50,710
I think I'm gonna need another day.
344
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:55,310
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