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1
00:00:06,060 --> 00:00:07,200
Happy birthday, Joan!
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00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:08,490
Happy birthday!
3
00:00:09,980 --> 00:00:14,780
Hey! So, are you claiming to still be
26, or are you rolling it back to 25?
4
00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:18,600
24? 23?
5
00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:23,139
Look, stop me before I get to high
school, because I've seen those
6
00:00:23,140 --> 00:00:24,680
you don't want to go back there.
7
00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:30,119
I'm 30, okay? And please tell me you
came here for a reason other than to
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00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:31,820
me. Actually, I did.
9
00:00:35,790 --> 00:00:40,349
What would you think about me asking
Yvonne to sign a prenup? Well, the
10
00:00:40,350 --> 00:00:43,969
in me would be fine with it, but the
woman in me would hold you down while
11
00:00:43,970 --> 00:00:45,350
Yvonne guts and fillets you.
12
00:00:45,351 --> 00:00:50,749
Why do you women always get so emotional
whenever you hear prenup? Because it's
13
00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:53,549
totally heartless. I mean, you're
planning the divorce while she's
14
00:00:53,550 --> 00:00:56,589
wedding. I'm just trying to recognize
the reality that you don't know what's
15
00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:58,030
going to happen in the future.
16
00:00:58,031 --> 00:01:01,449
I've got to protect those assets I spent
a whole lifetime acquiring.
17
00:01:01,450 --> 00:01:04,550
Nobody wants your funky Green Hornet
comic book.
18
00:01:06,270 --> 00:01:09,710
Well, I know of a half a dozen people on
eBay who would beg to differ.
19
00:01:10,830 --> 00:01:14,969
Well, I think I speak for all women when
I say we're making our own money and we
20
00:01:14,970 --> 00:01:16,020
don't need yours.
21
00:01:17,970 --> 00:01:19,020
Yvonne does.
22
00:01:19,790 --> 00:01:21,070
I made her quit her job.
23
00:01:21,650 --> 00:01:23,210
She's got practically nothing.
24
00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:24,900
Hence my pickle.
25
00:01:26,750 --> 00:01:30,600
So if it doesn't work out, you're just
going to leave her with nothing? No, no.
26
00:01:30,601 --> 00:01:35,029
I'll give her five minutes, a big burlap
sack, whatever she can grab, she can
27
00:01:35,030 --> 00:01:36,080
keep.
28
00:02:12,810 --> 00:02:16,300
I don't realize you were going for 30
this year, Joel, but good for you.
29
00:02:17,910 --> 00:02:19,830
Light a candle every night for Jesus.
30
00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:26,720
Honey, you light a candle every night
because they turn your electricity off.
31
00:02:27,710 --> 00:02:32,030
I want to pray for you. Okay, hello,
hello, hello, hello, birthday girl here.
32
00:02:32,031 --> 00:02:33,049
It's all about me.
33
00:02:33,050 --> 00:02:34,270
Please, just blow.
34
00:02:45,450 --> 00:02:49,829
I mean, I woke up this morning with
clarity. I felt cleansed of my 20s and
35
00:02:49,830 --> 00:02:50,549
the drama.
36
00:02:50,550 --> 00:02:53,350
I love who I am and where I am.
37
00:02:54,190 --> 00:02:57,810
And that's why I wanted to celebrate
tonight with my girlfriend.
38
00:02:58,170 --> 00:03:04,089
And have a really good meal and some
good cake and hopefully open some good
39
00:03:04,090 --> 00:03:07,550
presents. And have a whole bunch of...
40
00:03:14,291 --> 00:03:16,319
You ain't got no man.
41
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:20,760
Yes, but I got my key royale. Okay. Come
on, ladies, let's drink.
42
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,240
Okay, you guys want to play I Never?
43
00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:24,610
What song ever?
44
00:03:24,780 --> 00:03:29,759
Oh, it's fun. Okay, somebody says, I
never did something, and the person who
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00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:31,520
done the dirty deed has to drink.
46
00:03:31,900 --> 00:03:35,540
Oh, okay, so that's just a clever way to
find out people's business.
47
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:36,970
I'm in.
48
00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:40,340
I seek to water. Oh, okay.
49
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:42,200
Okay, I'm first.
50
00:03:46,190 --> 00:03:47,240
Patrick White.
51
00:03:49,710 --> 00:03:51,870
Come on, you guys. It was the day OJ got
off.
52
00:03:53,310 --> 00:03:55,370
Okay. Anyway, my turn.
53
00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:57,320
Okay.
54
00:03:57,470 --> 00:04:00,710
I never shoplifted.
55
00:04:08,450 --> 00:04:09,530
Forgive me, Lord.
56
00:04:09,990 --> 00:04:11,790
You and I hardly knew each other then.
57
00:04:14,911 --> 00:04:21,939
I don't recall you having a collection
of sake cups before you worked at Ame.
58
00:04:21,940 --> 00:04:24,410
No, that's stealing from work, not
shoplifting.
59
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:27,300
Fine, I'm drinking.
60
00:04:29,180 --> 00:04:33,800
In that case... Okay, okay, let's kick
it up a notch.
61
00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:37,720
I never had sex with a man whose name I
didn't know.
62
00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:39,890
What?
63
00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:42,630
He didn't know my name either. Fair,
fair.
64
00:04:42,631 --> 00:04:45,219
Okay, it's my turn, it's my turn, it's
my turn.
65
00:04:45,220 --> 00:04:47,640
I never bungee jumped.
66
00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:55,380
Okay, we're black women.
67
00:04:57,660 --> 00:04:59,040
Except for Lynn on occasion.
68
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:10,740
There's something I want to ask you, but
I don't know how to say it.
69
00:05:11,340 --> 00:05:14,960
William, I told you once we're married,
I'd think about it.
70
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:17,670
Really?
71
00:05:17,740 --> 00:05:19,120
You want to move up the date?
72
00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:23,270
No, actually, I do have an issue I want
to raise with you.
73
00:05:23,271 --> 00:05:26,489
I think we should have a prenuptial
agreement.
74
00:05:26,490 --> 00:05:29,620
Oh, of course we should. You're going to
finish your spicy tuna.
75
00:05:30,370 --> 00:05:31,420
That's it?
76
00:05:31,610 --> 00:05:34,830
You're not upset? No pouting? No
withholding sex?
77
00:05:34,831 --> 00:05:36,209
Oh, really?
78
00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:39,040
There'll be plenty of time for that
after we're married.
79
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:39,580
the initial CS. Woo -hoo!
80
00:06:41,740 --> 00:06:43,460
My own CW. Close enough.
81
00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:20,930
I'm just going to...
82
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:08,270
I'm spontaneous. I even made a left.
Look.
83
00:08:09,260 --> 00:08:12,720
All the risky things I want to do with
Form 40.
84
00:08:13,220 --> 00:08:16,140
Scuba dive, the barrier reef. Yep. Trek
through Nepal.
85
00:08:16,141 --> 00:08:17,119
Uh -huh.
86
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,820
Change, now polish color.
87
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:23,119
I haven't worn the same color for seven
years, but no more. Uh -uh. I'm sporting
88
00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:24,780
Caltrans orange now, baby.
89
00:08:25,900 --> 00:08:30,260
The only women who wear that color are
trying to match their prison jumpers.
90
00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:31,330
Okay.
91
00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:28,960
why should we hide it? Why shouldn't
we... Shut up!
92
00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:31,000
You know, Joan has a point.
93
00:09:31,300 --> 00:09:34,250
Oh, yeah? Well, let's just see what
little Jesus has to say.
94
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:35,660
Who's little Jesus?
95
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:38,980
This is little Jesus.
96
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:44,840
I take him everywhere. That way I know
our Savior is always with me. Tony.
97
00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:48,500
Tony. You keep the Lord on a keychain?
98
00:10:38,990 --> 00:10:40,040
So don't get out much.
99
00:10:40,041 --> 00:10:43,549
It's weird, though, because I thought
this was going to be a heightened sexual
100
00:10:43,550 --> 00:10:47,370
experience, and it's really just lying
around naked in the sun.
101
00:10:47,770 --> 00:10:49,670
Told you, it's not about sex at all.
102
00:10:50,390 --> 00:10:53,290
It's about letting yourself go, being
free.
103
00:10:53,950 --> 00:10:57,740
Now, if you want a heightened sexual
experience, try naked square dancing.
104
00:11:59,950 --> 00:12:04,309
eyes on me running into you guys is this
a small world or what actually some
105
00:12:04,310 --> 00:12:05,390
parts are quite large
106
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:30,730
Bye girls.
107
00:12:58,381 --> 00:13:02,849
It's just what you were talking about
only on paper.
108
00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:05,749
Well, I guess I just didn't expect you
to show up here with a fully drawn
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00:13:05,750 --> 00:13:06,869
prenuptial agreement.
110
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:10,029
William, I've clicked the force for you.
Now, if things don't work out, it's
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00:13:10,030 --> 00:13:13,029
only fair that I be compensated
appropriately. I can't believe you.
112
00:13:13,030 --> 00:13:16,040
Here I am planning a wedding, and you're
planning a divorce.
113
00:13:16,590 --> 00:13:17,640
No, I'm not.
114
00:13:17,710 --> 00:13:21,389
But the way I see it, I would have made
lieutenant in two years, captain in
115
00:13:21,390 --> 00:13:24,589
five. I would have had a nice little
pension, maybe a kickback or two from
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00:13:24,590 --> 00:13:25,429
drug dealers.
117
00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:26,480
What?
118
00:13:26,570 --> 00:13:28,530
Oh, honey, you know I'm just kidding.
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00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:33,360
calculator. Wait a minute.
120
00:13:33,361 --> 00:13:36,979
There's no way you would have been a
part of a Krispy Kreme franchise.
121
00:13:36,980 --> 00:13:38,120
I'm not paying for that.
122
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:42,410
Fine, make a Starbucks, but I'm not
leaving without a small business.
123
00:13:42,411 --> 00:13:45,139
How do you expect me to marry you when
you won't trust me?
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00:13:45,140 --> 00:13:47,379
You're the one who brought up the whole
prenup talk.
125
00:13:47,380 --> 00:13:49,779
Well, maybe we should just forget the
whole thing. Are you talking about the
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00:13:49,780 --> 00:13:50,859
prenup or the marriage?
127
00:13:50,860 --> 00:13:52,939
Which one are you talking about? You
brought it up.
128
00:13:52,940 --> 00:13:56,980
Well, I'm for prenup. All those for
canceling the prenup say aye. Aye. Okay.
129
00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:58,150
Okay. All right. Fine.
130
00:13:59,580 --> 00:14:00,780
Let's shake on one thing.
131
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:04,990
Let's say you get really big and grow
facial hair and I'm forced to leave you.
132
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:09,740
My comic book collection staved intact.
133
00:14:10,860 --> 00:14:11,910
All right.
134
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:18,339
And just in case you get on my damn
nerves in general, you owe me a Krispy
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00:14:18,340 --> 00:14:21,020
franchise. I'll get you some flour and a
rolling pin.
136
00:14:22,380 --> 00:14:27,240
Fine. And I'll do a wait -and -two
-exhale on all of you. All right, okay,
137
00:14:28,540 --> 00:14:30,890
You can drive a hard - bargain, Miss
Blackwell.
138
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:33,360
So do you, Mr. Dent.
139
00:14:34,180 --> 00:14:35,230
God, I love you.
140
00:14:38,220 --> 00:14:39,270
Lynn,
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00:14:43,820 --> 00:14:45,460
I can't get this crap off my nails.
142
00:14:46,380 --> 00:14:50,480
Well, I usually just chew all mine off.
Do you want me to, uh... No.
143
00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:52,260
It was a joke, Joe.
144
00:14:52,261 --> 00:14:55,199
Yeah, well, I'm not in the mood to
laugh, okay? Or hell, go to dinner with
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00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:58,180
father. You still upset about seeing old
Bill naked?
146
00:15:00,270 --> 00:15:02,950
Just get over it. It's no big deal. Yes,
it is.
147
00:15:03,210 --> 00:15:07,010
You're right. Mom was crazy. How could
she have divorced all of that?
148
00:15:08,610 --> 00:15:09,660
Shut up, Lynn.
149
00:15:10,090 --> 00:15:13,210
I'm not upset because my dad was naked.
I'm really not.
150
00:15:13,790 --> 00:15:17,949
It's just I see the man maybe once a
year, and he came into town, and he
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00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:20,030
even pick up the phone to call me.
152
00:15:20,430 --> 00:15:23,320
Well, sweetie, where would you have kept
the cell phone?
153
00:15:24,650 --> 00:15:26,850
Get off the naked jokes, okay?
154
00:15:26,851 --> 00:15:31,399
Okay. Right, he should have called you.
But, look, my parents haven't called me
155
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:33,080
once since I moved into the garage.
156
00:15:33,081 --> 00:15:34,679
It's because you don't have a phone.
157
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:35,730
Oh, sure.
158
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:36,850
Side with them.
159
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:40,210
Okay, this is when you should be
leaving. Get out.
160
00:15:40,460 --> 00:15:41,720
All right, I'm going.
161
00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:43,530
Bye.
162
00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:45,580
Try to make the best of dinner tonight.
163
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,950
And thanks for letting me wash my
clothes.
164
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:49,290
And eat dinner.
165
00:15:49,900 --> 00:15:52,070
And make all my long -distance phone
calls.
166
00:15:52,820 --> 00:15:54,260
It's like you never moved out.
167
00:16:03,020 --> 00:16:04,700
Head to 17 or I'll miss my transfer.
168
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,160
So, are you already, baby girl?
169
00:16:09,540 --> 00:16:13,339
Don't call me baby girl, okay? If I was
truly your baby girl, then you would
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00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:14,390
have called me.
171
00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:18,379
Oh, hell, I was hoping we'd get through
dessert and on to the cognac before you
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00:16:18,380 --> 00:16:19,880
launched into the heavy stuff.
173
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:23,800
Dad, how could you come into town and
not even call me?
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00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:25,980
Especially on my birthday weekend.
175
00:16:25,981 --> 00:16:29,139
I'm trying to take you to dinner for
your birthday, but all you're doing is
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00:16:29,140 --> 00:16:30,190
fussing.
177
00:16:30,191 --> 00:16:33,589
You still mad at me about the nudist
jamboree?
178
00:16:33,590 --> 00:16:38,289
No, I'm mad at you because a good father
is supposed to call his daughter when
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00:16:38,290 --> 00:16:39,340
he comes into town.
180
00:16:39,370 --> 00:16:40,420
No, no.
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00:16:40,450 --> 00:16:43,470
I'm supposed to teach you right from
wrong. I did that.
182
00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:47,000
I'm supposed to get you through college
and law school. I did that.
183
00:16:47,330 --> 00:16:50,710
I'm supposed to give you unconditional
love, baby, and I do that.
184
00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:56,250
Oh, yeah, and I'm supposed to, uh, take
away those knucklehead boys.
185
00:16:56,670 --> 00:16:59,680
Well, you can stop doing that because
I'm still not married.
186
00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:02,840
Come on, let's go eat.
187
00:17:03,060 --> 00:17:06,130
No, we're not going anywhere. You didn't
win that. I'm not done.
188
00:17:06,339 --> 00:17:09,920
Oh, you better flash back to your crazy
-ass, big -footed mama.
189
00:17:12,339 --> 00:17:13,539
How's she doing anyway?
190
00:17:13,740 --> 00:17:14,790
She's fine.
191
00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:17,440
Now, stop, okay?
192
00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:23,299
Next time you come to town for whatever,
you need to call me a week ahead of
193
00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:28,380
time. Fax me an itinerary, send a smoke
signal, give me some sort of warning.
194
00:17:28,740 --> 00:17:29,790
Joan?
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00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:35,299
I left my mama's house at 16. I left
your mama's house at 37. I'm not doing
196
00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:36,520
again. I won't do it again.
197
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:40,760
I'm sorry. I love you to death, but I
don't follow anybody's rules but my own.
198
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:44,580
Fine. Then I'm not calling you next time
I come to D .C. You don't have to.
199
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:45,930
Yes, I do.
200
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,260
By whose rules? The rules.
201
00:17:47,740 --> 00:17:51,380
They're just out there, you know? They
don't belong to any one person.
202
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:58,960
How did the daughter of a...
203
00:18:06,370 --> 00:18:07,420
I don't know.
204
00:18:07,770 --> 00:18:08,820
I do.
205
00:18:09,230 --> 00:18:13,570
If you and my big -footed mama just
stayed together, I wouldn't be so messed
206
00:18:14,750 --> 00:18:15,930
Oh, baby girl.
207
00:18:19,851 --> 00:18:23,309
So, Joan, how'd it go with your dad?
208
00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:25,110
You know what? Actually, it was nice.
209
00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:29,999
I made him drop a small fortune on
dinner for not calling me. And then I
210
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,600
to stop fighting it and accept him for
who he really is.
211
00:18:34,340 --> 00:18:35,560
A bad father.
212
00:18:37,020 --> 00:18:38,280
Now, I'm just playing.
213
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,320
I love my naked daddy.
214
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:42,660
Good for you, Joan.
215
00:18:42,661 --> 00:18:47,019
Accepting your father's a big step for
you. I told you I was going to rethink
216
00:18:47,020 --> 00:18:48,700
30s. Okay, now, wait a minute.
217
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:53,939
You can accept your father for who he
is, but you can't accept yourself for
218
00:18:53,940 --> 00:18:54,779
you are.
219
00:18:54,780 --> 00:19:00,240
Huh? Joan, you don't have to go around
pinning your nails. Cal, trans, orange,
220
00:19:00,380 --> 00:19:04,779
baby. They're going to nude beaches
because that's just not who you are. And
221
00:19:04,780 --> 00:19:09,260
you weren't who you are, these two
thieving drunks couldn't be here.
222
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:12,860
Judge not lest ye be judged.
223
00:19:13,260 --> 00:19:15,820
Okay, I don't need anybody to help me be
me.
224
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,960
But I am glad that I can be me.
225
00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:21,310
With you.
226
00:19:21,311 --> 00:19:25,039
Yeah. And you're also glad she signs
your timesheets every Friday, so stop
227
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,090
slugging up.
228
00:19:26,860 --> 00:19:29,040
No, ask Kissing Maya's right, Joan.
229
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:34,060
Love you just like you are.
230
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:38,959
And you're the one that's always there
for us. The one that keeps us all
231
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,010
together.
232
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:43,780
Look at you. You know, you are a great
lawyer.
233
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,400
And you're a great best friend.
234
00:19:47,140 --> 00:19:50,390
You could be a better Christian, but I'm
not going to nitpick now.
235
00:19:51,770 --> 00:19:55,620
And maybe the only risky thing you're
looking for is just being friends with
236
00:19:55,870 --> 00:19:56,920
Aw.
237
00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:58,330
Thanks, cute guy.
238
00:19:59,090 --> 00:20:00,140
Group hug?
239
00:20:00,430 --> 00:20:01,950
Group hug. Group hug.
240
00:20:02,210 --> 00:20:03,310
Okay, okay, okay.
241
00:20:06,850 --> 00:20:09,370
Is this your Tony?
242
00:20:09,710 --> 00:20:11,730
Mm -hmm. I'm salary bitch.
243
00:20:23,050 --> 00:20:26,669
don't think he's in my laundry room. I
scoured that beach. He has to be in
244
00:20:26,670 --> 00:20:27,720
beach towns.
245
00:20:28,010 --> 00:20:30,590
Tony, you need to let go of little
Jesus.
246
00:20:31,170 --> 00:20:32,430
It was a keychain.
247
00:20:32,710 --> 00:20:34,110
It was made in Mexico.
248
00:20:35,830 --> 00:20:37,570
I know that, Lynn.
249
00:20:38,510 --> 00:20:41,250
But I just needed something to hold on
to.
250
00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:43,210
It gave me comfort.
251
00:20:43,990 --> 00:20:45,870
Tony, just hold on to your faith.
252
00:20:46,190 --> 00:20:50,129
Do you realize how hard it is to go from
sinner to saved without the Christian
253
00:20:50,130 --> 00:20:51,179
accessories?
254
00:20:51,180 --> 00:20:55,730
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