Original subtitles

Tony, come on.

Get up. It's time to eat.

I don't want to eat. I want Greg.

Look, girl, my mama spent six hours cleaning these greens. Okay, now

better eat them.

Why did he leave me?

Tony,

you got to move on.

Forget your troubles.

Come on.

Get happy.

You want to chase all your cares away.

Shout hallelujah. Come on, get happy.

Get ready for the judgment day.

The sun is shining. Come on, get happy.

The Lord is waiting to take your hand.

Shout hallelujah. Come on, get happy.

We're going to the promised land.

Forget the troubles.

the judge will judge

want to kill myself, but now I want to kill you too.

Great, I thought she'd never leave. Quick, let's change the sheets. Yeah,

getting a little tart up in here.

Joan, it's not that bad, girl. Just crack a window.

It's all my fault.

What's your fault?

It's all my fault that Tony and Greg broke up.

I accidentally told him.

that she was engaged to Clay because I thought he knew. I didn't know she had

looked into her heart and gotten deep and changed her mind, and then he broke

with her, and now she's in pain, and it's all my fault because I have a big

mouth.

Did you get all of that?

You see me moving toward the door, don't you?

Don't leave me.

Help me.

Damn, Joan.

Don't criticize me. Help me.

Okay.

You know, usually I'm all about shooting straight from the hip.

But on this one, girl, you've got to take this to your grave.

No, Joan, look, if you told him by accident, the only thing you're guilty

not telling Tony what happened. If you tell her, maybe she'll snap out of this

depression. Okay, so will you tell her?

Joan, I have five college degrees, so obviously I'm not stupid.

Now, you have to tell her. No, no, no, I can't tell her. I should have told her

last week. It's too late.

You're damn straight. You tell her now, she'll cut you.

Well, Greg won't cut me.

I'm going to go to Greg and beg him to take her back.

Okay, I understand why you took my razor blades and my sleeping pills, but why

did you take my Vaseline?

I have a date later.

Oh, that was great.

Does this mean my Herculean performance persuaded you to quit the force so we

don't have to break up? No, it just means it ought to hold me for a while.

was goodbye sex, William.

Why stop at goodbye?

So long.

Farewell. Auf Wiedersehen.

Peace out. Hey, hey.

William, don't make it any harder than it has to be.

I'm still not quitting the force.

Yvonne, you've already been shot once.

Do you really want to go through that again?

Getting shot doesn't hurt nearly as much as breaking up with you. Well, then

don't break up with me. Well, don't give me an ultimatum.

I need to go home. I've got to pack.

Where are you going?

To Jamaica to the Sinbad Music Festival.

By yourself?

Yep. Oh, I had you a ticket, but I turned it in for one first -class

All my life I've been sitting in coach, just smelling those chocolate chip

cookies.

Now I get to eat them, wash them down with some champagne.

And exit first.

Boy, you really are taking this break up hard, aren't you?

Macy, it was all my fault. If I hadn't said anything, then you two would be

living happily ever after.

Was it your fault that she was cheating on me to begin with?

Well, actually, yes.

I'm her best friend, and as her best friend, perhaps I didn't do my best to

her see the error of her ways. Joan.

Do you see the words boo -boo written on my forehead?

Greg, the important thing is you are the one that Tony wants.

Look, I appreciate your concern, Joan, really, I do, but it's over, okay?

Matter of fact, tell your girl to stop calling me.

Nice work, Joan.

Now she's lost her phone privileges.

Honey, hey, thanks for letting me store my stuff in your garage.

Oh, wait a minute.

Y 'all is shacking up now?

Just until he moves to New York next week.

Well, I guess the Lord will overlook a little short -term sin.

Thank you, Sister Maya.

Um, so how'd it go with Greg?

Well, let's just say Greg's not as forgiving as the Lord.

I mean, I still say, stop torturing yourself. Come on, just tell Tony what

happened. Now, um, do you have any more packing tape?

Oh, it's next to my bed, but remember to put it back. I have a date later.

Bye, mate.

Hey. Joan, you've been to these Sinbad musical festival thingies before, right?

Yeah. Exactly how much sin is in the Sinbad musical festival?

Why? Because Yvonne's going.

I just have these images of her in my head shaking her ass, and that's a whole

lot of ass to be shaking.

Isn't that the same ass that just got shot?

Yes, which gives her the perfect opening line.

You want to see my scar?

Don't worry, William. People go down there for the concerts.

But I hear rumblings of butt floss and Speedos down there. Sounds like my kind

of party. I want to go.

I'll pay for your ticket if you go down there, keep an eye on Yvonne, and seduce

any man that comes near her.

Nah. No, if I go, I don't want to babysit anyone.

When I finally finish school, this will be my last hoorah before I have to get a

job and face the real world.

I want to get buck wild, shake my ass, show them what I'm working with.

Hi. Shoot, I'm going. I need a vacation.

I'm tired of running from my husband and faking it when he catches me. Oh, my

God. Oh, my God, that's it.

I'm going to take Tony to Jamaica. Thank you, William.

She loves the festival, and she always comes back for the boyfriend.

So what, you're going to take her down there and pimp her to someone else in

hope that she forgets about Greg?

Well, it sounds horrible and insensitive when you put it that way, but yeah.

What? It's just for the weekend.

Yeah, but it's my last weekend in town.

Look, this is something I need to do for my friend, okay?

So what do you expect me to do alone in your house while you're gone? Water the

plants? Could you?

Not funny.

Why do you need to take Tony to Jamaica anyway? Because nothing I've done in L

.A. has worked.

And somehow it's going to work to a reggae beat?

I'm not funny.

You really need to stop trying to solve other people's problems. Oh, you mean

like storing people's stuff in my garage while they run off to New York?

You know what?

I'm going to ignore that because I really need a place to keep my stuff.

So it's okay for me to solve your problem, but I can't help my best friend

hers. Not when you can avoid the whole mess by just telling her. I can't. Why?

Because she might not ever forgive me, and I can't afford to lose her. Can you

afford to lose me?

This is Tony's screw -up, not yours. I'm going, Sean.

Fine, go.

Well, are you going to drive me to the airport?

Take the damn pillow.

Well, get your crap out of my garage!

Welcome to paradise, ladies.

Oh!

Joan, thank you.

Oh, Tim's on the big bed.

Oh! Oh, my gosh, you guys. Okay, the pool is full of black folks. I got to

out there before all the water wings are gone.

Oh, my gosh.

Tony, isn't this place great?

They say this is the best suite on the island.

Okay, not the whole island, but the greater Montego Bay area. Look, look,

look, look. They have 600 thread -count sheets.

600.

And you get to keep your robe.

Do they have a phone?

I'm going to call Greg.

Lynn, I had a good deal with Tony. Can you take care of him?

And by take care of him, I mean give him the money.

Don't let her tell you what to do.

Okay.

Here. Thank you.

And if you need anything, just call me.

I'm Bosco. I'm the best. All the other guys, they're lazy.

Oh, you know, there's one question, Bosco.

Where's the party?

The party is here.

It's a thing called the Sinbad Music Festival.

No, I could have stayed in L .A. if I wanted that. I want to party with the

locals, you know, like Ziggy and Beanie and Shaggy. Me too. Do you know them?

Okay, let's turn the clocks forward.

It's 5 .30. You're off work. Where are you going?

Delivering luggage to someone else's room because I don't get up until 9.

Okay, then it's 9.

Where are you going?

Somewhere with you.

Okay. Then I'll meet you here at nine.

All right. You can buy me a drink later.

Bye, pretty lady.

Bye.

Okay, if anyone asks, these phones were pulled out of the wall before we got

here. Okay, that keeps Tony from calling Greg, but what if Sean tries to call

you? I'm not worried about Sean.

Right now, I'm worried about Tony.

Okay, I will see you all later.

Okay, okay, you can't go out like that.

What, it doesn't fit?

Not over everything.

Your bikini line's a little over the line.

Oh, well, Darnell likes it, so... Yeah, well, Darnell ain't here.

Look, I think you should go down to the hotel salon and get yourself a bikini

wax. You guys, I had enough pain with the surgery.

I'm not getting waxed, it hurts.

So do the stares of strangers.

Okay, there she is.

That's the girl I was telling you about.

Yeah, but how exactly do I know you?

Are you kidding? I told you.

I'm Joan Clayton. I've been to two of your festivals, right?

And in Aruba.

Go on. I was in the fourth row. I waved twice.

Aruba Joan.

Aruba.

Okay, now back to my friend.

She's going through a really rough time.

And, you know, you're a funny guy and you're single.

So I was thinking you could cheer her up and or...

I suppose I could do that. Just gotta be careful at these festivals.

A lot of nutty people come down, especially in Aruba.

Tony,

this is my very good friend Sinbad.

Greg loves Sinbad.

Who's Greg?

Okay, I'm gonna leave you two crazy kids alone.

Don't go far.

So...

How are you doing?

Oh, what a day.

All righty then, you know.

When you do that, I'm going to be the last one seen with you, okay?

Wait, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, where are you going? I'm getting

out of here.

There was time to end these festivals when all the crazy folks started showing

up. No, no, I'm kidding.

Oh, hey, what?

Hey, how you doing?

I'm doing fine.

What are you doing here? You already have a man. Yeah, and so do you.

Oh, no. I've almost fallen on my vacation. I'm trying to keep my mind off

you. Oh, Yvonne.

Come on. William really loves you.

To love me is to love all of me, including my nine -millimeter.

Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for Yvonne to get her groove back. Pinnacle

out of place.

Oh, my.

Joan. Yeah?

How long do we have to stay here? Until you start having some fun, Tony. But I

don't want to have fun. I want Greg. Greg with fun. Tony.

Greg is gone, okay? You gotta move on now.

Greg used to like to move on.

Is there anything Greg didn't like to do?

Be with me.

Tommy, please.

Come on, okay?

We're in Jamaica.

There's umbrellas in our...

Please try and enjoy yourself.

Joan, I'm so sorry. You've gone to all of this trouble for me.

The least I can do is try to feel as good as I look.

Hallelujah, come on, get happy.

We're going to chase all our cares away.

I love you.

Okay,

watch it now. There's a lot of people out there looking for that fantasy.

I don't know why they came, but I know why I'm here.

You had to run away from your problems with Darnell.

No, no, no. That's what I thought. Turns out I was actually running to the

answer. I mean, it's fate.

If I hadn't come here, I wouldn't have worn the bikini. If I hadn't worn the

bikini, I wouldn't have had the bikini wax. And that bikini wax has led me back

to that which I thought I had lost.

Oh, I'm horny.

What kind of bikini wax did you have, Maya? Brazilian. Oh, no.

Which explains the carnival going around in my pants.

Why? Because I promised you a wild and crazy time.

For me, falling in love in four hours is wild and crazy.

It is so amazing how something so simple can bring you back from the break. No,

no, it's so amazing how something simple can keep you talking for an hour.

I think I just need to get back home to my husband before I get myself into

trouble. Oh, my goodness, girl. There goes Terrell Davis.

Now, I know you can't see it, but the brother has a butt on him.

Who's Terrell Davis?

He plays in the Denver Broncos.

They won the Super Bowl twice.

It's in those soup commercials with his mama.

Oh, I know who that is.

I am going back to the room and...

It's none of your business.

Hi, girl. Well, have fun.

I'm fine. Just walking.

Excuse me. What's in there?

No.

Well, since you two are being shy, I'll just go ahead and introduce you.

Terrell David.

This is Tony Child.

Tony, Terrell.

How you doing?

Hi.

Tony, did you know that Terrell plays for the Denver Broncos?

And he won the Super Bowl twice.

Terrell, Tony's from L .A.

Thank you.

What do you do in L .A.? She's a real estate agent. Do you need a house in L

.A.? No.

Do you mind if I talk to her?

Do you want to dance?

Should I move your arms and legs for you? No, no, come on.

Oh, sit back. Hey, hey, hey.

I gotta get packing so I can get to the airport.

Do you really have to go?

Joan, I bumped the arm of the circle last night and fell in love. Oh, yeah,

yeah, yeah. Go.

Please, go.

The water is great. You guys gotta take a dip.

Maya's going home to her husband.

Oh, really?

Maya, go get him! Viva la orgasm!

What'd you do last night? A Jamaican man.

I had to ask.

Where's Tony?

She didn't come home last night.

She didn't come home last night. I told you Jamaica was all she needed.

Good morning. Good morning, everyone.

You're awfully cheery.

Woo, gal, let's cheer back.

That's not what you were wearing last night.

Terrell took me shopping.

Oh, damn, you are good.

I knew if I brought you here, you'd forget your troubles and get happy.

not sing, or I will slide right back down there.

Hey, you guys want to hang out today?

I'm kind of busy.

Where are you going?

To Negril.

Get married.

Just call me Tony Childs Davis.

No hyphen.

You're kidding, right?

Nope. You can't marry him.

He's the rebound guy.

Nobody marries the rebound guy, no matter how many yards he's rushed for.

You can't, but I can.

Tony, do you love him? Of course not.

I'm not marrying for love. I love Greg. You see where that got me?

Well, so you're married to him for the wrong reasons, Tony.

So? So you're going to be a trophy wife.

With my trophy house.

driving my trophy car tony you can't just go around accepting wedding

all willy -nilly if i can't marry the man of my dreams i can marry the man of

dream bank account tony what the hell is wrong with you did you not learn

anything from that whole mess with clay you know what joan you act like you're

the only one who wants to get married

There's a lot of men out there who want me for my personality.

So if this one thinks he's ready to settle down, now that he has two Super

rings, I am jumping, okay? And there is nothing you can say to stop me. Okay,

Tony, wait. There might be one little thing. What?

He's not starting next season?

Tony. I mean, what you got? I mean, I got a free robe to pack. Listen.

Greg didn't break up with you for no reason.

I slipped up.

And I told him that you were going to marry Clay before you had a chance to

to him.

Remember, that's what you said you were going to do.

It was just a classic breakdown in communication.

Now do you see why you can't marry Terrell?

I, for one, feel so much better if that's all out in the open.

You bitch!

What?

Look, I know it might not seem like it now, but you did the right thing.

And everything will be okay in time.

I just want to get home to Sean.

You ready?

Um, hey.

Joan, I'm not coming back to L .A.

I'm staying here.

I thought you all revved up to start a real life and get a job.

I got a job.

I'm going to be renting out jet skis with Bosco on the beach.

We're in love.

Okay, I can't deal with this today.

Yvonne?

William? What are you doing here?

You might want to find yourself another dance partner.

Partner?

William, you can't just snatch me off the dance floor.

Look, Yvonne.

You said you wouldn't quit the force for your boy.

So tell me, would you?

Would you do it for your husband?

Oh, baby, I'm glad you're still here.

Wow.

That was amazing, Oscar.

I didn't even know the hotel had a contraption like this.

Oh, they don't. I brought that from home.

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