All language subtitles for Family Law s04e06 Corporate Retreat

Previously on Family Law.

So walk me through what you think this
merger might look like.

It sounds like we might be working
together soon, too.

I can't believe you got your one -night
stand pregnant. If you and I are going

to co -parent this child, we need to get
along.

I take your point.

Do you want to go out sometime this
week? Get to know each other?

Unromantically? Of course you felt the
need to have that.

Fine. Let's hang out.

So, I heard the silliest gossip.
Something about a merger between us and

Peterson?

What's your nonsense? Harry wouldn't
keep something like that from me. He

have told me straight away, right?

I can't believe you told her.

I didn't tell her. Suzette from
Peterson's firm told Pearl from Vazirian

and Pearl told Jerry. So, way to keep
the news under wraps.

You were next in line, to be told. I was
simply waiting until I knew it was a

sure thing.

Cat's out of the bag, Harry.

You need to deal with it pronto.

Danny, my honor.

It has come to my attention that rumors
are starting to circulate, so we wanted

you to hear the news from us first.

We have signed a memorandum of
understanding with Marcus Peterson's

A merger.

Did you know about this?

No thanks to anyone in this office. This
is a good news story. We will all

benefit from our combined strengths,
expertise, and resources.

Are there any questions?

How will we fit more people?

Will we have to move?

Will there be layoffs? Who gets to keep
the file if there's a client conflict?

I'll let my partner field these
questions.

Will we have to share assistance?

Will we have to pay mediations back?
Okay, one at a time, please. When will

take effect?

A merger, Dad?

Why?

At some point, I'll have to step back.

I want to make sure my legacy survives.

Is that why you made Daniel partner?

Your brother is a good lawyer, but he
needs time to grow as a leader.

What about Abby? She's an excellent
lawyer, but she's also impulsive and

stubborn. And she's an alcoholic.

You can't hold that against her forever,
Dad.

Her video is still one of the first
items that pops up in a Google search.

I'm doing the best I can to protect my
children, and that includes you.

So, does that mean I get to keep my
office?

I'll make sure of it, Lucy Goosey.

A heads up would have been nice. We only
found out about the leak this morning.

And someone from your firm leaked it.

I'll make a formal announcement later
today.

How'd your people take it? Not well.

I walked by Rebecca's desk. She was
already on LinkedIn.

We need to find a way to reassure people
before the legal recruiter starts

swarming.

What if we hold a corporate retreat?

Oh, hear me out.

A buddy of mine at McMillan Russell,
Yannick Kroll. Yannick.

His firm takes everyone to Mexico for an
all -inclusive retreat each year. He

says it's a great bonding experience.

And a costly experience. Doesn't have to
be. You could do something local, but

high -end.

I like it.

Give the staff a chance to get to know
each other in a stress -free

Exactly.

Hmm. It appears the Ides have it, Harry.

I'll start exploring venue options.

You got nothing legit, uh -oh.

The gloves don't fit, uh -oh.

You got to acquit, uh -oh.

The charges won't stick, because I ain't
no sucker. Ain't your life living far,

but you can kiss my sweet, uh -huh.
Never gonna stop, never gonna stop,

gonna stop, never gonna stop. Can't
prove it, uh -oh.

I thought we were soulmates.

Then, on our 10 -year anniversary, he
announces that his soulmate is our

vacuous, surgically enhanced dog walker.

He didn't want an equal. He wanted a
pinup model.

How am I supposed to face him this
afternoon?

That's why we're having this preliminary
meeting, so you can vent all you want.

What's your end goal, Ingrid? To make
Keith's life a living hell.

Every second of every day for the rest
of his life.

I understand the sentiment.

But you have children, right?

JC and Jonah, seven and five.

And trust me when I say being vindictive
isn't going to help you or your kids.

But he's the one that blew up our
marriage.

Adultery means nothing in the eyes of
the law.

He's a still the father of your
children.

You can drag this out for months, even
years.

And in the end, you are the one who
suffers the most. You, your kids.

And your bank account.

So you suggest I just roll over? No,
absolutely not.

I suggest taking the high road. Act like
none of this fazes you.

Trust me, it'll drive you crazy.

See you this afternoon.

Everybody in the conference area, I have
an announcement.

Uh, you might want to book an MRI. You
made the announcement an hour ago.

Different announcements.

This one is entirely his.

I have more exciting news to share. The
merger's off?

Our firms are going on a joint corporate
retreat this weekend.

We'll play games, do team -building
exercises, we'll eat well. I promise

be a lot of fun. Sounds amazing!

Yeah. I can't make it. Why?

What are you doing? Absolutely nothing.

Attendance is mandatory.

Where are we going? As soon as I nail
that down, I will send out the

particulars. All right.

Back to work.

Hey,

let's, me and you, organize a boycott.

Eleanor's blowhard brother and simpering
wife are visiting me this weekend.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but
this retreat is a gift from the gods.

Have fun at your retreat.

Shut up. While you're doing icebreakers
and truss balls, I'll be partying at

Velvet. Ah, Lucy.

I'd like you to attend the retreat, too.

Me? Why?

Marcus needs to see that even though you
operate independently, you're an asset

to the firm.

Always helps to put a face to a name.

I may or may not catch you.

The trust falls.

Mr.

Peterson, wonderful to see you.

Cecil or Cecile, I answer to both.

May I take your coat?

I'll keep it, thank you. Then maybe I
can offer you a juice box or perhaps a

cheese string?

Marcus. Hello.

Abigail, nice to see you.

Feel the heat of everyone's eyes on you?
Oh, yeah.

My client is willing to agree to 50 -50
parenting time with conditions.

If you go out for the night, the kids
stay with me. Oh, for... You just don't

want them to see my girlfriend. Damn
right I don't. Let's sidebar this, shall

we? We'd like to add a clause stating
that Ms. Gunn can't disparage my client

front of the children.

I don't do that. Please. You told him I
was the reason we had to sell the house.

Well, it's not bad nothing if it's true.

Okay, you can yell at each other for the
entire hour if you want. We'll bill you

for it either way. Or we can try to make
progress.

I'd like to recommend a judicial case
conference.

What's that?

It's like a dress rehearsal for court.

The judge listens to both sides and then
offers his or her thoughts.

And it's non -binding. Meaning you don't
have to agree to any of it. But it'll

give you a pretty good picture of how
things will go if you do take this to

court. That way, you save time and
money.

Tell you what, we're heading into the
weekend. Why don't we all put our

down and take a couple of days to
reflect?

Yeah?

I feel like I've just run a marathon.

They're exhausting.

I look forward to getting to know you
better over the weekend.

White ties brownie for the roadster? Why
not?

And you get his pipe and slippers while
you're at it.

He's a smoker.

Ah, another name on the door.

Sucks for you.

Waters down your influence.

I worried about that too, but I think it
actually might water down Dad's

influence. Seriously?

He hated the idea of a corporate
retreat.

Marcus left it.

Dad was outvoted.

You headed up to Whistler?

No, everywhere was booked.

The Fina?

Also fully booked.

So, where are you headed?

Certainly well under budget.

You got your wish, Harry.

I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Who's all those available at the last
minute?

Breathe in that fresh country air.

Smells like outhouse and armpit.

Come on, Winston.

We could spend the entire weekend with
everyone we work with Monday to Friday.

What could be better?

To the right, you'll see our cozy cabins
where all the horny camp counselors

were slaughtered last year by a man in a
hockey mask.

This place has bedbugs for sure. I feel
itchy already.

Still beats my in -laws.

At least I don't have to spend the
entire weekend with my ex.

At least my ex isn't a kidnapper or a
psychopath.

What were you supposed to be doing this
weekend?

Shopping for bath towels.

Still more fun than this.

How about you?

I'm supposed to be at Mirage Hamam Spa
with Jojo and Sophia.

I know.

Ractic and outdoors are two of your
least favorite words. They are.

But I've decided to make the most of it.

It's full of all the novels I've been
meaning to read.

I'm going to ditch the activities, hole
up in my cabin, enjoy the peace and

quiet.

And that's my cue.

Have fun.

Okay.

Excuse me.

Gathering. This way.

That's why I'm going that way.

You must be Abigail.

Come on.

Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for
joining us.

We had a choice. I'm Samantha, Sam for
short, and I'm your facilitator for the

weekend. Now, I see the skeptical looks
on some of your faces, but I promise

you, if you put in even minimal effort,
you'll take away maximum benefits.

Marcus?

This is a chance to get to know each
other in a relaxed environment.

I know change can be scary, but I also
know that our two firms share similar

goals and values.

Harry, would you like to say a few
words?

Oh, thank you, but as this retreat was
Daniel's idea...

I'll let him do the talking.

The motto of this weekend is stronger
together.

Come on, y 'all. Let's all say it
together. One, two, three.

Stronger together.

Okay, Sam.

Thank you.

All righty.

You have a few minutes to get settled
into your cabins before our first event,

orienteering. Meet back here in ten and
pair up with someone from the other

firm.

And we will be doing a head count.

Oh, so sorry to miss out on the fun,
important client.

Excuse me. Yeah, it's me.

Yeah.

I want to send my wife a photo of these
quaint cabins. How do you do a panorama?

Do you mind? Oh, please.

Okay. So first you're going to swipe to
pano. Oh.

Then you're going to press here.

Move your phone like this.

Press again, and voila.

Wow. Oh, and if you use this filter, it
goes from murder cabin to cabin porn.

Wow.

Bless you, young man.

Jerry Rifkin, office manager of Svensson
& Svensson.

Troy Batista, office manager at
Peterson.

Well, a wellness plan for everyone.

Free gym memberships, wellness apps.
Yes, there's an upfront cost, but I

it's a long -term savings.

More productivity, fewer sick days.
Yeah, forward thinking. I like it.

That makes two of us. Two out of three
is all we need.

You're a paralegal, too? No way. Yes
way.

What's your favorite food?

Corn dog. Mine too.

Favorite and sweet.

Favorite ice cream?

Tiger tail.

Okay, here's a trickier one.

Star Wars or Star Trek?

Star Trek.

You could be my twin.

I have a twin. I have a twin too.

Well, I did.

Until I ate him in utero.

How's the house hunt going?

Awful. I keep losing out in bidding
wars.

Sorry to hear that.

You and Isabel settling into your new
place?

Yeah, mostly.

It's way too quiet without Sophia and
Nico.

Hmm.

What makes you feel any better? I barely
see Sophia.

She's joined every extracurricular so
she can pad her college admissions

application.

Have you talked to Nico recently?

Not since his classmates fell into the
sin.

I've got a video call with him this
afternoon, though.

Oh, that's great.

Say bonjour for me.

You can join if you like.

You sure?

Yeah, sure.

Oh, and I also built our messaging
system.

It reduces our staff workload by 10%,
and it's completely unhackable. Oh, you

don't say.

Yeah, it cuts down on a lot of paperwork
and allows for interfacing on both the

macro and micro level.

Oh, macro and micro.

Oh, interesting.

Yeah, what systems do you use?

Oh, emails, inter -office memos.

Oh,

I love it. So retro.

I understand you'll be taking over the
floor below us. Is that right?

Yeah, that's what I've heard.

Will you be subdividing to make room for
all your people? No. Marcus says

there's going to be enough room for
everyone once the merger's complete.

Jerome is a mean thing.

He's what my cool would have been like
if I hadn't, you know.

We need to talk.

Can I invite Jerome? No.

I happen to know that between their
floor and ours, there are 30 office

Troy told me they had no plans to
subdivide. By my count, there are 40

employees. Is this one of those brain
teasers? Like what goes around the wood

but never into the wood? No. It means
redundancies.

Like a lot of redundancies.

They'd never do that. They did say once
already, Cecil.

Dollars to donuts will get rid of the
highest earners on the support staff

first. I know how much everyone at our
firm makes.

Which means Troy must know how much
everyone at Peterson makes.

You do a lot of these. I do.

How do you keep up your energy?

I'm like a wind -up doll.

I can keep going until 3 p .m. tomorrow.
Everyone leaves, then I just... It

must be exhausting.

It's nothing like being a therapist. I
can't imagine having to listen to

people's woes all day. I have a bag of
tricks for when I feel myself drifting.

Just cock my head to the side, furrow my
brows, say, tell me more, scribble

notes.

Can I get a margarita with two shots of
tequila? Thanks.

Don't judge.

Let's have a wild night at Velvet.

It's a bar in the West End. I know
Velvet.

And trust me, you're not missing
anything.

The trick people have ruined it.

To be clear, no one is asking you to do
this.

To be clear, I'm dying to do this.

Go get them, Tiger.

Enjoying yourself?

Enjoy would be an overstatement.

Offering up a judicial case conference
to our clients was the right call. Yeah,

well, going through your own divorce
puts things in perspective.

My divorce did the same for me.

He likes my wellness program idea.

So good. Honestly, Lucy, I think this
merger could be a good thing for me.

Jude, what's up?

I'm not sure.

Probably nothing.

What's probably nothing?

I'm having cramps.

I'm sure it's just the deep -fried
pickles I eat.

You eat deep -fried pickles?

Oh, I just had another one.

I'm going to order you a cab. Okay, go
to St. Paul's. I can be there in an

What's wrong? Is Jude okay? She's
cramping. What?

I have to go.

Can you make an excuse for that?

I have two competing thoughts.

One is that I'm dying to get out of
here.

Two is that I'm starving.

I think I have a solution for both.

I'll steal the sweets you steal with
favorites.

Meet you outside in 10.

What are you doing?

Making the best out of a bad situation.
What are you doing?

It's making the best out of a bad
situation.

Lucy, have you seen your brother?

A close friend of his had a medical
emergency.

He said he'll be back as soon as he can.

Okay, everyone.

It's time for limbo!

Come closer, don't be shy. Form a line.

Come on, Dad. You can have fun.

Not on your life.

I think you could lose Nelson from your
team. No

one would miss him.

Agreed.

Then there's an obvious cut on your side
as well. We'll only need one office

manager.

Oh,

she's not my wife.

Okay, but can we at least agree ketchup
chips aren't a vegetable?

Oh my God.

He looks like a tiny Benjamin Button.

He?

I've got

to

hand

it to you. I held it together with Nico
earlier.

Did you think I was going to burst into
tears?

No, I thought you were going to burst
out laughing.

Did you see that beret?

If he wears that back to Canada,
Sophia's going to eat him alive. Oh,

He's having the time of his life.

Is it awful that I kind of wish he was
homesick?

I was thinking the same thing.

But this proves we did okay.

We're supposed to give our children
wings.

Right now, I wish we'd clip them.

Isabel.

She found a bath towel.

Hallelujah.

You think she's going to want children
of her own?

Well, I know she does.

It's a bone of contention at the moment.

I'm not sure I can do it all over again.

Be different this time.

She's a lot younger than you.

Thanks for the reminder.

No, I just mean... She has a lot more
energy. She'd do more than her share of

the work.

And bonus, she's not an alcoholic.

You're a good mother, Abby.

I wasn't all the time.

And I really wasn't a good wife.

Hey, I had a glimpse into what it's like
to be in a relationship with an

alcoholic and, oh wow, it sucked.

I'll always regret that I didn't listen
to you sooner.

I didn't get help sooner.

You didn't deserve what I put you
through.

I mean it when I say I'm glad you have
someone who knows how amazing

you are.

See? Right there. It looks like a little
penis.

It could also be a finger.

I'm just going to say it.

I was grateful for your type A
personality tonight.

We type A's have our uses.

Well, I guess I should head back to the
retreat.

Can I make you another chamomile tea
before I go?

No, I already have to get up and pee
twice in the night.

I'll check in in the morning.

Yeah.

Or I could sleep here on the couch, just
to be safe.

What about your retreat?

It'll be there in the morning.

Well, uh, if you insist.

I'll go get you some sheets.

Clean ones, right?

And the rat stays locked in his cage.

No promises.

Listen, you put your career on hold so
your wife can focus on hers. You deserve

a higher percentage of the assets,
Keith.

Why should you be forced to pay an
asshole tax just because you met the

your dreams?

A judicial case conference is a waste of
time.

You need to get in front of a judge who
will make binding decisions or your

hysterical ex and her ball -busting
lawyer are going to drag this thing out

forever.

Thanks for agreeing to meet on a Sunday,
Ingrid.

I thought we'd agreed to take a cooling
off period this weekend.

Yes, well, I've discovered your ex and
his lawyer have violated that agreement.

Seriously? Is it true Keith put his
career on hold for you? Oh, please.

He was fired from three jobs in a row
because he's impossible to work with. I

had to support that prick for years.

Sorry, I...

I really am trying to work on taking the
high road.

Actually, Ingrid, I've been having a
rethink about all that.

Someone had fun last night.

Someone did.

Does Sam bring the same enthusiasm to
the bedroom as she does to her job?

What do you think, Anne?

I spoke to him for a nanosecond and I
was already drunk.

I think he's a wolf in wickable
clothing.

Did you go home for the night?

You didn't honestly think I'd spend the
night here, did you?

How's your friend? Is he feeling better?

She is fine.

Her name is Jude.

Ah, more than a friend, perhaps.

It's complicated.

She's pregnant.

And I'm the father.

But you're not in a relationship.

It was short -lived. Well, if you didn't
protect yourself in the obvious way,

please tell me you protected yourself
legally.

I have not.

I want to be a part of my child's life,
Dad.

Well, then.

Congratulations. Thank you.

Then me and Jerome quizzed each other on
Stargate trivia.

Then we played Battleship to the wee
hours and we didn't even sink any boats.

Oh, here he comes.

Wow.

I did it. I had my slut phase.

But... Don't you need to sleep with more
than one person before it's late? Let

me have this. Did you find anything
useful?

I certainly did.

I hacked into his supposedly unhackable
system when he went to the outhouse.

I'm on par with their receptionist
salary -wise.

He still makes less than Peterson's
paralegals, so I'm thinking you're safe.

Wait. Jerome makes more than me?

About six grand more.

What about Troy?

You're obviously much more highly valued
by Svensson and Svensson.

No way, same breakfast.

Keep it moving, troll.

is here. Work emergency.

Plus I draw the line at Mud Pits.

Hey, there's something else I've been
meaning to tell you.

Um, I've applied to have my surname
changed back.

Oh.

Well, I suppose that makes sense.

I love you, Abby.

I love you too.

And if you and Isabel do have a baby, my
kid's going to be spectacular.

Okay, let's go. Team Peterson, you got
this. Let's go.

That's not... No, no, no, no, no, no.

Good

morning,

everyone.

Thank you for making the weekend such a
success.

Our T -shirts weren't ready for the
retreat, but I have them now.

I think we can all agree they are pretty
terrific, huh?

Luce! Luce!

Here you go.

Thanks.

You go. See you soon, my man.

There you go.

Oh, polyester blend shirt. That's what I
always wanted.

Jerry, take an extra for Eleanor.

You go.

You want to see me?

Sit.

Marcus enjoyed meeting you this weekend.

Well, that's good. I barely said two
words to the guy.

We want you to come in -house, Lucy.

Put you on salary.

Why? It's Marcus's condition for you to
keep your current office.

Space is going to be at a premium.

Yeah, but it's my office.

Which I pay for.

We want everything to be under the
firm's umbrella.

What about my radio segment?

It's great for us. Free advertising.

We can even feed you topics on occasion.

That's my job.

And I don't know how the station would
feel about it. We'll work out the

details.

Picture her loosey -goosey.

You'll be well paid. You'll have great
benefits.

You'll work regular office hours, which
means more time with Harmony.

You'll be well taken care of.

Abby, good morning.

Marcus.

Sorry to throw you for a loop like this,
but there was no reasoning with my

client.

I'm impressed.

With what?

With the way the lies just roll off your
tongue.

Word of advice, next time you're in the
shitter at a corporate retreat, you

might want to keep your voice down.

Now excuse me while I go and bust a few
balls.

My client selflessly stepped back from
his own career so his ex -wife could

focus on hers. He lost years of earning
potential, which is why he's entitled to

a larger share of the assets.

I have nothing further.

Ms. Bianchi?

Your Honor, I submit a series of
affidavits from four of Mr. Gunn's

employers. Each one states that he was
let go because he was impossible to work

with. He's described as argumentative
and obstreperous, a man who never got

work done on time, and when he did, it
was sloppy.

This man didn't selflessly put his
career on hold for his wife. He was

unemployed and unemployable, and my
client supported him for years.

Mr. Peterson, these affidavits are
damning. Would you like to reconsider

position?

We would, Your Honor. We're willing to
concede to my colleague's original offer

and split the assets and parenting time
50 -50.

That seems reasonable.

Ms. Bianchi?

Actually, we've had a rethink. We want
the children to be with their mother

during the week.

Your Honor, this is a blatant attempt by
my colleague to push my client beneath

the threshold of 40 % parenting time,
meaning he would get no child support.

My client is only thinking of the
children. Her daughter suffers from

which has been exacerbated by the
separation.

She feels safest when she gets to sleep
in her own bed.

Mr. Gunn has also moved out of the
catchment area, which means a long

for the children on school days.

Objection. A long commute is not a
reason for the children to be cut off

their father.

They'll still get to spend quality time
with him every other weekend.

I'm not trying to impose a... What's the
crude slang I'm looking for?

An asshole tax.

We're only thinking of the best
interests of the children.

We did it. You did it.

The look on Keith's face. Oh, it's so
much more fun than taking the high road.

Hey, that could be your new motto. When
they go low, we go lower.

And that expression you use, an asshole
duck.

I'm still going to tell that one to my
book club.

Oh, my God. You should come to my book
club.

We never talk about the book anyway.

That way you can give them a play
button.

Is it just me, or does morale seem low
around here today?

Well, your corporate retreat didn't have
the desired effect.

People are scared.

There's no need for that. Harry, it's
me. Cut the crap.

I know the writing's on the wall.

I can assure you I am going to do
everything I can to keep you.

I'm looking for other concessions, other
cuts. I can't imagine a scenario where

I don't have you by my side. Your wife
is young. You're tech -savvy.

He also gets paid half what I do.

You're a great businessman, Harry, and
this is business.

I'm not sure he'll die on.

If that's a resignation letter, I'm not
opening it. I'm not an idiot.

If I resign, I don't get a severance
package.

And I expect a great severance package.

It was court today. You were up against
Marcus, were you not?

I was.

Can I speak to you privately?

Of course.

Speak privately about what?

If I told you, it wouldn't be private.

Is it about the merger?

It is.

I'm a partner. I should be there, too.

So, you're saying he did a sneaky thing
behind your back?

A thing that could have meant a big win
for his client if you hadn't overheard

and used that information against him,
for which I commend you, by the way.

Sounds like he took a page straight out
of your playbook.

Excellent lawyering on both sides. He
called my client hysterical, and he

me a ballbuster. It's the not -so
-thinly -veiled language of a

never heard him say anything like that.
He's very progressive.

The guy is a chameleon, Daniel.

He says what people want to hear, and I
heard him say it.

Surely that's enough?

Abigail, we appreciate you bringing your
concerns to us.

But this merger is going ahead.

And now they're going to live
acrimoniously ever after. All because I

Peterson's level.

He brought out the worst in me.

You really don't like the guy, huh? I
really don't.

I'm also not sure I'm going to like
this.

Oh, you're going to love it.

So, Dad told me the only way I can keep
my office is to be the firm's in -house

therapist.

Wow. How do you feel about that?

Well, security would be nice.

But I don't think the radio station will
want me if I'm not independent.

You love doing your show.

Yeah, I do.

Hey, maybe this is a kick in the butt I
need to get my own office space.

What if I fall in?

You get what?

Place has great bones.

Needs a facelift, but that's why it's
priced a little lower than some of the

others.

So you could subdivide the space into
offices or keep it open concept.

What line of work did you say you were
in?

Family law.