Original subtitles

Previously on Family Law.

Ow! We're done, Kelly.

This is my apartment first. If you don't get out now, I'll have the police

charge you with assault.

What possible good can come from you hanging out with Martina's boyfriend?

If we enacted on our feeling, maybe I could find a way to stay friends with

of them. Your mic is hot.

Dean Barlow called me this morning. I'll be representing him in his divorce.

His wife called me. I'll be representing her.

I guess we'll be seeing more of each other.

Harry, it's here. My 10 o 'clock.

What do you see? The entrails of an innocent man after he's had his

unjustly assassinated by a heartless she -devil. This is your second chance.

And last.

Thank you.

Don't make me regret it.

I miss that.

Me too.

What kind of idiot would risk losing this?

I have to be a pretty big one.

Which is why you're coming to a meeting with me tonight, right?

If it's about returning your chip.

It's about listening to people's tales of woe.

Can't we just skip it and come straight here instead?

We can absolutely come back here after the meeting.

Come on, they're not all downers. Pam's hilarious.

Unintentionally. Exactly.

Your father wasted no time diving back into the dating pool.

The only reason you know that is because you're also on that site.

Didn't you dump him? I don't appreciate being ganged up on by two lawyers in my

own house.

I gotta get to work.

You have a good day.

Both of you.

I'd lock that down if I were you.

Have you talked about moving in together?

What? We've only been seeing each other a few months.

What is going on with your house? Have you and Frank picked a real estate

Gabby Lipton is a top 1%. We're using someone on the West Side.

I thought you weren't talking to Gabby anymore after she bought the same dress

as you for the black and white ball.

Oh, yeah, that.

I cut over it.

We're going to Pilates together today.

What about her? She sounds like a catch.

She's been married three times. So have you.

Oh, look.

Love sailing, fine dining, and biographies. If you're looking for

you're. No apostrophe R -E.

It's a typo. It's bad grammar and lacks attention to detail.

And that's a deal breaker, is it? Oh, okay. Okay.

What's wrong with door number three?

Mensa member.

Runs her own tech firm.

Writing a book on the rise of global populism, it sounds like... Like this

conversation.

Oh, no.

Must feel great to be free, Kelly.

It is. But I keep beating myself up over it. Like, how could I have been so

stupid?

And you're not listening to me.

Oh, my God, Daniel.

You have to stop creeping on Martina. It's not her page.

It's Fodder's.

What do you think it means?

Fodder's closed.

Maybe she moved back to Montreal.

You think he stayed? They must have broken up, right?

Whatever Martina and Quinn are doing, you need to stay clear.

For your own sake, okay?

Still hooked on that podcast?

Split town.

It's amazing.

I feel like it's speaking directly to my breakup with Bowen.

I've got the cure for your loneliness.

My roommates are moving to Calgary.

Your parents?

Yeah, to be closer to my sister and her kids. They sold the house to a

developer. I really didn't think they were going to bulldoze it that quickly.

Anyway, I need to find a new place to live by the end of the week.

And since Roz won't let me jump straight from my parents' house to hers... We're

a woman.

And you're just moping around all by yourself?

Figure two birds, one stone.

I have a one -bedroom. Plus den. It's a walk -in closet. I can make it work.

You know what they say, Cecil?

Good boundaries make good friendships.

Yeah, that's what my parents said, too.

Your new client.

Thanks.

Is that?

Steps eight and nine.

Making amends. I think I'm ready. Who's at the top?

Julie Craven.

She was my best friend in college. She was always up for anything.

So funny.

We laughed a lot.

I miss that.

What happened?

She dumped me out of the blue.

I blamed her for years, but looking back, I was a pretty crappy friend.

Have you reached out to her?

Yep. I found her online and DM'd her. Can I ask why Julie is the first name on

that list?

I wanted to start with an easy one.

There's no such thing as an easy man.

Bianchi, your 9 a .m. is in the boardroom.

Hagrid? Abigail Bianchi.

So what can I do for you?

My best friend Ray has ghosted me.

We've been like this since second grade.

We had our first sleepovers together.

We bought our first bras together.

We shared every detail of our first kisses.

We spoke every day.

For 25 years. Now she ignores my calls. That must be very painful. But is there

a specific legal issue?

Yes. She stole our babies.

Raya couldn't have kids of her own. I agreed to be surrogate for her and her

husband, Tom.

Did they pay you? No, it's illegal to pay for surrogacy. So you offered to be

their surrogate purely out of friendship?

Of course. She's my best friend.

I mean, she was.

I don't know anymore.

Did you go to a clinic?

Yes, the doctor implanted three of Rhea and Tom's embryos. Two of them stuck.

You carried twins?

Two little girls.

They were both there at every ultrasound appointment, and Rhea was there for

every yoga class, for every checkup.

We were closer than ever during the whole pregnancy, right up until I gave

birth.

The twins were having some breathing issues, and they were taken away for

I never even got to see them.

Mariah and Tom took them and left.

You're kidding. You carried their kids for nine months. Every time I called

them, they had some other excuse. The babies were sick. Their in -laws were

visiting. Then they just stopped responding.

They even moved. I have no idea where they live.

I just want to make sure they're okay.

I'm really sorry this happened to you, Sigrid, but without a contract?

Oh, we have a contract.

So, what do you think? You're the firm's fertility expert.

How many times?

Fertility law expert.

All she wanted was to hold the babies after they were born and see them as

grew up. I can read.

Can you believe that?

Twins. Who the hell is that selfless? I don't even offer to drive my friends to

the airport.

What friends?

My friends.

You just don't know them.

This is a legally binding surrogacy contract. The couple is clearly in

the terms. You have my permission to draft a with prejudice letter advising

Sinclairs to comply.

I'm sorry, I have your permission.

Yes, and I will review it before you send it. Have you forgotten what Harry

about micromanaging me?

What's Frank's boss doing here?

This way. Must be a big case if the two principals are on it.

Confidential.

You don't know, do you? Yes, I do.

Seems like a massive thing to keep from an equity partner.

Hey, Cecil, I need you to track down an address for me. After he pulls the

information I asked for this morning.

Right.

I was already on that, and now I'm on this too.

Both of it. I mean, them. I mean... Yeah, you got it.

It's a subtle thing, like making snarky comments about my family, my friends.

It feels like he's trying to drive a wedge.

Have you ever shared with him how that makes you feel? When I call him out on

it, he gaslights me.

What does that look like? He says he just wants to protect me, that I'm

him away.

Has he ever hurt you physically?

No, but I read all these articles about victims of coercive control, and that's

me.

I still love him. What do I do?

We're in agreement that the family home will be sold and all proceeds divided

equally. Moving on to specific contents, given my client is a prominent public

figure, he respectfully requests possession of the family photo album.

They're part of an important archival record.

We will agree to print high -quality duplicates of all photos and to provide

USB for all digital photos and videos.

Works for us. I think that's everything.

Not quite.

My client wishes to acquit herself of all further public appearances with Mr.

Barlow. You can't do that. Well, your client is free to step away at any time,

but as she knows, it means relinquishing all spousal support, as per the terms

of the prenup. You can't expect me to keep playing loving wife.

Not forever. Just till the next election.

It's almost two years away.

Do you want to see the right -wing bullies get in? I need you by my side.

for me, but for the people.

Please, Kanika, let's finish the work we started.

See ya.

See ya.

Get out your finest of fine -tooth combs and go through Dean Barlow's financial

statements. Yes, sir.

What exactly am I combing for? A surefire way out of a prenup. Prove the

spouse was hiding assets.

Have you ever heard of an honest politician?

Um, that was a rhetorical question, Sophia.

Cecil, have you found Ray and Tom Sinclair yet?

I'm still working on it. I've been looking at their socials. Not a single

in three months.

Well, yeah, they're parents to newborn twins.

They probably haven't had time to shower. The East posts constantly about

everything. Their ex -benny, their new patio furniture.

Why aren't they posting about their newborn twins? It's the ultimate like

Good question.

I'll ask them if Cecil ever finds them.

Saw Dean Barlow in the boardroom.

He and Kanika calling it quits. Yes.

You didn't vote for that Kumbaya singing Marxist, did you? No. Good. He has a

BFA in music.

Found it. I knew that smug do -gooder was as corrupt as the rest of them.

sir. I'm still going through Barlow's financials. This is for her.

I emailed you the Sinclair's new address.

They bought a townhouse in North Van. Oh, and Daniel approved your letter.

Tom Sinclair?

Yes. Abigail Bianchi for Svensson & Svensson.

I'm here on behalf of my client, Sigrid Jensen.

How can twins look nothing alike?

Fraternal twins often look quite different.

No, this was not that. One of them was a dead ringer for Sigrid. How is that

possible? One baby is born at the same time?

Yeah, 15 minutes apart.

Superfetation.

It's rare. Only 10 publicized cases in the world.

What's superinfestation?

I'll let the fertility expert explain.

Superfetation is when a woman who is already pregnant gets pregnant with a

second baby and ends up carrying two fetuses.

There was already a baby growing in there, and then I got pregnant again.

This is Amara.

Oh, my God.

She's mine.

I got an order requiring the Sinclairs to produce their DNA.

We'll need you to provide a sample as well.

I don't believe this. With superfetation, the gestational gap

about two to four weeks, so... Ugh.

Trevor, I was seeing this guy from work on and off for years. Like it was

already going nowhere. But when I told him I was going to carry Ray's baby,

killed it dead.

If Amara is your biological child, it changes everything.

Come in.

I'm so sorry, sir, but I couldn't find a single discrepancy in Dean Barlow's

financials. There must be something.

He's squeaky clean. He even donated to the Vancouver Orphan Kitten Rescue

Association.

Disappointing. We'll have to go with a different strategy to attack the prenup.

A duplicate set of all the Barlow family photos.

Thank you, Winston. Put them on the conference table.

Cecile, run out and pick up some photo albums.

You'll need to lay out all the photos exactly as they are in the originals.

Absolutely, sir. I've just got some urgent research I need to do for Daniel.

That can wait. Let's show Marcus Peterson we run a tight ship.

So now my son's not speaking to me anymore because I called the new one

instead of Jesse. I wasn't drunk.

They all look the same.

Tattoos and piercings. And the last three have all been life coaches.

What's that about?

See? Hilarious.

She definitely doesn't disappoint.

Thank you, Pam.

Does anyone else want to share?

Hi, my name is Ben. I'm an alcoholic.

This is the last place I wanted to be tonight.

In fact, I've been avoiding this for the past three weeks because I don't like

failure, and I have failed to stay sober a few times now.

But this time, I have a powerful incentive.

Someone very important is giving me another chance.

She didn't have to.

And I know how hard this was for her, so I'm going to prove to her that she made

the right choice.

Thank you.

If you came over here to say I told you so... I didn't. I came over to say good

on Ben for coming back.

It's hard returning that chip.

Have you heard back from your old friend yet, Julie?

Not yet.

It's good to see you so happy.

You deserve it.

Hey, Julie, it's Abby again.

I don't know if you saw my DM, but I'd love to meet up whenever it works for

you. You could call me back on this number or text me or respond to my

Anyway, I'm looking forward to connecting, and I hope you are having a

day. Bye.

That was awkward.

Who are you stalking like a desperate teenager?

Remember Julie Craven?

Oh, of course. I'm trying to make amends, but she's not responding to any

messages.

You're doing amends?

Why would you start with such a hard one?

It shouldn't be that hard.

I know I wasn't...

The best friend to her. You convinced her to go to that party on Pender Island

and then refused to get up the next morning to drop her off at the ferry. I

probably still drunk.

She missed the boat.

Missed her shift.

Lost her job.

How do you remember any of this stuff? It was 20 years ago.

Because I really liked Julie.

And you haven't had a close girlfriend since.

My client is entitled to her fair share of spousal support. To tie it to her

performance as Mr. Barlow's smiling puppet amounts at best to indentured

servitude, at worst, extortion.

Thank you, Mr. Svensson.

Mr. Peterson, do you have anything to add?

Your Honor, the contract speaks for itself, but my client is willing to

this clause as of midnight on the day of the next election.

Your Honor, that's 22 months away.

I find no compelling reason to remove Term 6.

In my considered opinion, the prenup stands.

Thank you, Marcus.

Between you and me, it's a travesty he let that stand. If we'd drawn any

judgment, Pennyfeather, you'd have had this one.

I have no doubt.

Are you game to continue our conversation on the other matter?

Looking forward to it. Come by the office tomorrow evening.

I've still got a few drams left of the good stuff.

Not important.

We can appeal the decision, Kanika, but it will take time.

No.

I'm done fighting.

I'll just have to resign myself to my fate. If it helps you, the thing of it,

rest assured, we will fight for a very generous settlement package.

Thank you.

Hello? Hi, Harry. It's Gabby Lipton.

Gabby?

Is everything all right? Is Joanne... I know it's short notice, but are you free

for dinner tonight?

Just so happens I am.

Dr. Benson, you know that podcast I've been listening to?

Split Town? They're always looking for guest therapists. And a couple of weeks

ago, I put your name forward.

They just called. They want you.

Isn't that amazing?

No. No, it's not amazing.

Listen, you should have asked me first. Call them back and tell them I can't do

it.

Where have you been?

It's almost noon.

If you must know, ding it, I was looking at a house.

Oh, really?

What did you think?

Needed too much work.

Yeah, it's a tough market.

But I think we can help each other out. You get a place with a suite, preferably

above ground, but I'm not picky.

And I'll rent it.

Win -win.

Exactly. No.

The DNA test results just came in for Sigrid and the Sinclair twins.

Winston, please call Sigrid Jensen and have her come in as soon as she can.

I'm sorry to drop a second bombshell on you, but the DNA results came in. She's

not mine.

She is.

You are Amara's biological mother.

But the biological father of both babies is Tom.

I was feeling lonely and emotional.

He was so grateful I was going to be carrying their baby.

We both regretted it after, and it never happened again. Neither of us wanted to

hurt Raya.

Is there any way she doesn't have to know about this?

Yeah, I think she might have guessed.

Her and Tom.

It would explain why they ghosted you.

Here are the affidavits you asked for.

Oh, and Otter has not relocated. It's permanently closed.

Apparently the chef's moving to Montreal.

What file should I bill that to? Don't worry about it. Craig needs to go for

pee. Oh, yeah.

No problem.

I love this little guy.

But you know, having a dog is a big responsibility.

I'm sure there's days you wish you had a roommate who could feed him, take him

for walks.

Maybe you want to catch a movie after work sometime.

Nice trying.

Hard no.

She was sleeping with Tom but got knocked out by Trevor.

Other way around. Trevor's the co -worker with benefits.

Gotcha. So Tom got her pregnant twice, once the easy way and once with his

wife's egg.

Yes.

Better than any telenovela.

I should probably get back.

The next episode's about to start in our boardroom in half an hour and features

my ex -husband as opposing counsel.

Well, before you go, do you have plans tomorrow night? I scored a couple

tickets, and it's not a school band recital like you tried to rope me into.

I love Florence and the Machine.

That's why I got them.

I'll pick you up at Joanne's tomorrow night, 7 p .m.

Can't wait.

Yeah.

Hi.

Your client's here?

Not yet.

I'm early.

How are things?

Good. Did you see the email from a realtor?

We have a motivated buyer coming to see the house tonight.

Really? Us?

Fingers crossed.

Isabelle and I put a conditional offer in on a place in Mount Pleasant.

Already?

I've been looking, but there's really not that much out there.

My clients are here.

I know this is an extremely difficult situation for everyone, but the DNA

results are indisputable. My client is Amara's biological mother.

And she wants full parenting.

That's out of the question.

Mr. Sinclair is Amara's biological father. And given the infants are far

young to separate... Your clients can't reasonably expect Ms. Jensen to have

nothing to do with her own child. Your client made it very clear in writing

she had no desire to ever be a parent. Well, that was before.

But Amara is my daughter, and I want to be her mom. You are her mom. The fact

is, your client signed a surrogacy contract that, as you laid out, so...

eloquently in a rather nasty letter to my clients, is legally binding.

It's invalid, based on a mutual mistake of material fact.

And this mistake is no tiny whoop. The whole thing rests on the origin of the

embryos. My client supplied the egg to one of those embryos herself. I don't

care what the DNA tests say.

I am their mother.

Maria. I am so sorry. Haven't you done enough?

Just leave me alone and let me raise my kid. Maria. No.

You don't get to say anything.

You will never be part of our daughter's life.

That's not up to you.

Thank you.

I've been texting her, calling her, nothing.

She's completely ignoring me. Should I keep trying or is that too stalkery?

I don't know.

What do you mean you don't know?

You love giving me relationship advice and I'm also ignoring it. I'm the last

person that should be giving advice on any relationship.

Isn't that kind of bad for business?

Yes.

I just feel like a total fraud.

I have a client who's stuck in a toxic relationship, and I just sat there

thinking, what makes me any kind of authority when I ignored all the warning

signs in my own? It is ironic.

Even Daniel and I noticed the red flags.

You know how many times I've walked into a courtroom feeling like this is the

day everyone figures out I'm a total fraud?

I've seen you in court many times. There's zero fraud complex there.

What about the dozens of divorce cases I did when I was going through a knock

-down, drag -out one myself?

That must have been brutal.

Yeah, it was.

But I think it made me a better lawyer.

It definitely gave me more compassion for my client.

I know it sucks right now, but maybe surviving the whole Kelly thing will

you relate to your clients more.

Thank you.

So what do you think? Should I call Julie again or just give up?

What?

Gabby.

Oh, I am so glad we were able to make this happen.

Me too.

I mean, we hardly had a chance to catch up at that fundraiser. Wasn't Barlow a

bore?

I mean, how do such frivolous people get elected?

I was surprised to see Joanne there. Is she doing well? Oh, yeah, she's fine.

But we don't need to talk about her, do we?

I assume that was why you... At long last, we both find ourselves single.

I think I may have given you the wrong impression somehow.

Harry, don't be so coy. We have always had this undeniable will -they -won't

-they vibe.

Yoga hotties, three o 'clock.

Oh, yeah, it's on.

God, good to have my wingman back.

Okay, okay.

Maybe lay off the tequila tonight, huh?

Bitches, not a good look on you, bro.

Can you order me another pint? I'll be right back.

Dude, now?

You're the bladder of an old woman.

Quinn.

Why'd you want to be friends?

Because it seemed like you really wanted to be my friend. I did.

Was it just so you could get close to Martina?

Well, that too.

But if things had been different... You agreed to be our MC.

That's messed up, man. How could you sleep with my girlfriend and keep lying

my face? It happened when you were a theory, a name, before I knew you.

I swear, the minute I met you, it was over.

I know.

Martina told me everything.

I was working out of town. She got lonely.

She knows I did too.

But now we're putting all that in the past. We're moving back to Montreal.

That's great.

I'm happy for you. Our relationship is strong, Daniel.

And we agreed you're the weak link.

You're like this friendly -looking cancer cell that needs to get cut out.

I feel sorry for you, man.

You're seriously damaged.

You've gone so long, I drank your beer. This is Olivia, and this is Cameron.

Hi. We just ordered another round.

Sorry, I've got an early meeting tomorrow.

What? Hey, come on, you can stay for one drink.

She will accompany Mr. Barlow to political engagements as per the terms

prenup. However, we want it in writing. There will be no kissing between them.

I would never put you in a non -consensual situation.

No kissing.

However, my client may require brief, occasional hand -holding when arriving

or leaving public appearances.

She can't look like that. She has to smile, be joyful, excited.

Your client can't look like she's been taken hostage at these events. And yet,

that's exactly how she feels.

So, sorry to interrupt, Mr. Spencer.

It's urgent.

We've been putting the duplicate photos in albums so the bar loads will each

have an identical set. Yes, cool, sir. What's your version?

Check this out, sir.

Apologies. It seems we finished duplicating all of your family photos.

Please pass along our sincere thanks to your hardworking staff. There is one

image I feel compelled to share with you before we continue.

Now?

Now.

Couldn't quite believe my eyes at first because it's so incongruous with your

virtue signaling, Mr. Barlow. In fact, I seem to recall you publicly shamed a

member of the opposition for wearing a sombrero back in the office. But that is

you, is it not? I imagine your constituents, particularly those of

descent, would find this image deeply different and in stark contrast to your

woke public persona.

My client is open to negotiating for the destruction of this image before anyone

outside this room sees it.

Ms. Jensen has been robbed of crucial bonding time with her daughter.

Three months of Miss Nursing's cuddles, that first smile.

She gave the Sinclairs a healthy baby in a purely selfless act of love.

All she asks for now is that her own child be returned.

These twins... Objection. They're not twins.

Sustained.

Apologies, Your Honor.

These half -siblings grew in the womb together for 36 weeks, and they've been

together every moment of their lives since birth.

They are deeply bonded, and it would be psychologically damaging to separate

them. Objection. Opinion evidence. Is counsel a child psychiatrist?

Sustained.

The fact is, Tom Sinclair is the biological parent to both infants.

Primary parenting must remain with him and his spouse to ensure a continued

healthy, loving, and stable environment for both children.

Give me a minute.

Uh, yeah, my next client's in ten.

Do you think I'm damaged?

I know I didn't have the greatest role model in Dad, but I thought I was

Better how?

More mature or something.

At least I wasn't knocking on my mistress's. Hey. I was talking about my

much as yours.

When I look back, I realize I...

Blew up every long -term relationship I ever had before it could go bad.

And the whole Martina thing, well, of course that was never gonna work, but...

Maybe that was the point.

I might be seriously incapable of any kind of real, lasting relationship.

Me too.

I had something good with Maggie, and I sabotaged it.

Only to rebound with Kelly.

Now I can't trust myself romantically or professionally.

I always thought you were so together, but you really are messed up.

Make you feel better?

Really, yeah.

Oh, and our older sister.

Definitely the most messed up.

She seems to be doing all right with Ben.

Maybe there's still hope for us.

As Mr. Sinclair is the biological father of both children, and the infants are

clearly thriving together in their present environment, I order primary

parenting to remain with the Sinclairs.

However, Miss Jensen is entitled to visits with her biological child every

day. I will review this arrangement in three months' time.

Nicely argued.

Thought you'd win this one.

I feel like everyone lost in this case.

25 years of friendship.

Destroyed. And speaking of which, guess who I'm seeing tonight?

Julie Craven.

I remember her.

Didn't she look after you when you got your wisdom teeth pulled? She did.

I'm going to try to make amends with her.

You're drinking that bottle of champagne she was saving?

The one her parents bought when she was born.

Wasn't she saving it for after her PhD defense?

I'll add it to the list.

Amara!

Amara's missing! She took my baby!

I just want to get started. I know.

I never thought I wanted kids.

Even when I was pregnant, I never saw myself as a mom. They were Reyes, but

now... Now can she show me all this life?

What made you volunteer to be her surrogate in the first place?

She always wanted kids.

Tom was against adoption.

It was a no -brainer.

Sometimes friendships are uneven.

One person is more giving, maybe a better friend.

That was never us.

She was always there for me as much as I was for her.

So, being able to help her have a baby felt like the most natural thing in the

world to you?

Yeah.

I knew this was her one shot.

And when I found out I was having twins, my heart practically burst with joy to

be able to do it for her.

I know you'd do anything to take back that one mistake, but the result

is that little girl.

Cerise has sister.

You two have entered so much together.

All the sacrifices you've made.

This is when you need each other the most.

Can we have a minute?

Frank and I hammered out an agreement.

Singerton and Sinclair will share parenting of both kids so the twins can

together. And before you freak out about all the lost court hours... No, it's

good.

He pulled off some kind of miracle.

I don't know how she gets past her best friend and husband sleeping together.

I don't think she has. I think she's just chosen to do what's best for the

Abigail, I need to see you in my office.

Now.

I

did

not go on a date.

with Gabby Lipton last night.

Okay. I was bamboozled.

I don't need to know. I assumed when Gabby called she was on a fishing

expedition for your mother, but it turns out she was casting a net of her own.

So wait, you said yes to a date with Gabby Lipton because you thought she was

Joanne's proxy?

It was not a date.

And it's vital you make that very clear to your mother because...

If she thinks I'm the kind of man who would date her best friend... You mean

like Daniel's mom?

Will you please ensure the message gets through?

Fine.

I'll tell her tonight.

Thank you.

It must be mighty lonely for you and Eleanor.

All your kids out of the nest, living in that big old house all by yourself.

You know, it's amazing how fast all three bedrooms filled up.

Winston,

I'm sorry I barked at you the other day. It was really sweet of you to suggest

me for that podcast.

It's fine.

No, it's not.

I'm still processing my own breakup, and I took it out on you.

Don't even worry about it.

How was your train wreck after Bowen?

I'm going to call them back and tell them I'll do it. You are?

Yeah.

Maybe telling my story will help someone break free from their toxic

relationship. Well, you're going to help so many people.

Julie?

Hi. You look great.

Are we waiting for a table?

We won't be here that long.

What is it you want to say?

I was a bad friend.

I dragged you to parties you didn't want to go to, took it for granted you'd

look after me, which you always did.

I'm sorry I drew a mustache on you the night before oral exams.

I'm sorry I stranded you on Pender Island and you lost your job.

And for drinking that bottle of champagne you were saving.

That was a really crappy thing to do.

You were my best friend, Julie, and I messed it all up.

That's it?

You're not even going to mention the final nail in the coffin.

Wasn't the champagne?

You slept with my boyfriend.

What? No, come on, seriously. In my bed, New Year's Eve.

I would never. We went to see Mary in a trench at the Commodore. I went to grab

her coat, and you jumped in a cab with him.

The wannabe country singer with the snakeskin boots.

This foot odor was a biohazard.

You deserve so much better. I did you a favor.

You're my husband.

Oh, you're not.

I'm so sorry.

It's on her.

Julie, please, can we just rewind? I really am sorry.

Please don't contact me.

After much soul -searching, Kanika and I have made the conscious decision to

uncouple.

I have nothing but the deepest love and respect for this virtuous, brilliant,

and compassionate man who has dedicated his life to public service.

She's sticking to this script word for word. She's a pro.

Equity.

That's enough peace, love, and granola for me.

So walk me through what you think this merger might look like.

Copying my dress is one thing. Making moves on my man is not on.

Harry isn't your man.

For the millionth time, you broke up with him.

Gabby knows he's off limits. She broke the friend code. She is dead to me.

If you're this upset about it, why don't you just call Harry and tell him you

want him back?

Ben's an hour early. No, that'll be my date right on time.

Of course it is.