Original subtitles

Hi. Yes, hi. My name is Carmela. I'm actually just calling to make sure that

reservation for our timeshare is set up.

Yeah?

Oh, yeah. Go ahead and take a minute to look it up.

Yes, hi.

Oh, yes. So our reservation is for three weeks from today, and there's going to

be four of us.

One second, sir. Just one second.

Hey,

what the?

Go get the vacuum and clean up. You're going to break my new headphones.

They're coming, and we need to talk about the time change. We need to talk

vacation. Wait, what?

He's coming?

Now? Hold on. One second. Just one second.

Yes. Okay? They're coming right now. Mom, I'm not doing this. I'm not doing

right now.

There's no way. Just one second, sir.

You know what? Let me give you a call back. All right?

Okay, thank you. Bye.

Mom, what?

What's the problem? I'm not going on vacation with him.

Hell no, not me.

Yes, you are. You guys have never gotten along, and I don't know why, but either

way, they're coming right now. We're going to discuss it, and I need you to

clean this up right now. Go get them. Now? Now.

Mom, what the fuck?

Let's go.

Let's go. Chopped up.

These kids are driving me insane.

Why do we have to go there? I mean, Johnny's so freaking annoying.

Well, she's my best friend, and we're going to go and spend some time. Why

you guys ever get along?

She's your best friend, not mine. Like, why do I have to get along with them?

Well, you have to learn how to get along with people later in life anyways. You

can't just act like a kid for the rest of your life because you've always been

an only child.

Oh, my God.

Johnny is an obnoxious brat.

He is not that obnoxious.

Have you seen his face?

What does it have to do with anything?

It's just annoying.

It's just annoying as fuck.

I can't. Look, you can deal with this for just a little bit of time while I

spend time with my friend.

Whatever, man.

Oh, my God.

You'll get over it.

You'll be able to... Can't you guys play, like, some games or something?

Don't you guys... You have some stuff in common, right? Like, video games. Can't

you play one of those?

I mean, like...

He cheats at everything. Even when we try to play something, when I try to get

along with him, he's always cheating or making the rules or just trying to do it

his way. I just, I can't. I can't deal with that kid.

What about talking about girls?

What about that?

Can't you guys do some kind of guy stuff if you don't like playing games with

him? Johnny doesn't know anything about girls.

Johnny doesn't know anything about girls.

Well, you know what? You're going to learn how to deal with it today. Just

few hours, okay?

Like, stop.

I don't want to hear anything else from you, and stop throwing a little temper

tantrum. Look, just deal with it, and I'll take you for ice cream or something

afterwards, okay?

Thank you.

Yes, you can have chocolate.

I said I need maid.

That's what I thought. Well, you need to squash that now, because we're going on

vacation, and I don't want to deal with the drama.

I really don't.

Okay? I need a break. I need a vacation.

So you two need to be friends. You need to get along.

clean this up, and start acting like adults. Okay, but mom, you seem to

that he sold my baseball cards and stuff, and he always took my video games

never returned them. Listen, you're not a saint either. If I remember correctly,

you broke his phone, okay? So listen, squash it. Day one of friendship begins

today. Clean this up for him and vote him out again as soon as you can.

Mom, but I don't think they... Kid's good news, like, he literally, like,

cigarettes, and, like, he stinks, and reeks, and all that stuff, like...

Carmen's my best friend, okay? I need... Are you serious?

Johnny! Johnny!

Turn the vacuum off, let me hear it.

Whose side are you on, Mom?

I don't want to go to this timeshare thing with Navy.

He's gonna bug me, and bully me, and stuff. He always... And you bug me, so

listen. I need you guys to pick this mess up and get along, okay?

You always act like I'm the younger sibling and stuff.

And, like, he's not even older than me and stuff. It's just because I'm short.

Oh, God.

Hey,

hey. Hey.

What?

You want me to clean up?

Pick it up. All of it. I want the lighter. I want everything picked up.

Everything. Okay?

God. We're going to be here in five minutes.

God, look at him pulling up with all his tattoos and stuff. He's such a thug,

Mom. Like, he has that stupid grin on his face.

Just wave and be nice, okay? Just behave on your best behavior.

There you go.

Hey!

Hi,

baby girl! How are you? Oh, you look beautiful!

Did you get the reservation? Yes, I did.

Everything's all set. We're ready to go.

Oh, you guys say hi to each other? Yeah.

I see you're still ugly and you can't get any pussy.

Excuse my language.

You guys got that out of your system? Good.

Let's go inside.

What did I tell you about that?

Listen, today you guys are friends.

Stop. I don't want to hear friends.

Go play video games or something.

Lord knows you don't do homework. Gosh, but he's such a cheater.

You know what? I couldn't have said it better myself.

Go. Make friends.

It tastes good.

I'm glad you like it. I got the one that you had recommended.

Yeah.

It's so good.

It's amazing. It's changed my life. But let me tell you these details.

So we're going to be, we're booked for three days, four nights. Okay.

There's four rooms.

Oh, perfect.

But. I was thinking if the guys are getting along, they can do the bump -in?

Yes. That would be great. And that would give us more room to kind of spread out

and do our own thing. And we have our me time, just in case.

Yeah, exactly.

We all have our own bathrooms, right? Yes. Okay. Except they have to share a

bathroom. They would have to share. Oh, that's okay.

They're boys. Still good. Still good. Yeah.

Boys will be boys.

It's about to happen. It's a matter of time, you know?

Eventually,

they'll realize that they're more like them.

Yeah. Yeah.

They will, right?

Yeah. Last time we went on a trip, I mean, I kind of enjoyed it. You know, I

kind of enjoyed looking at your mom all day.

Bro. Fuck you, bro.

When we go on this trip, I guarantee your mom's going to be staring at my

the whole time like she always does. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, right.

You remember when we went on that cruise trip and your mom was wearing that two

-piece and she was all up on my junk?

By the jacuzzi? Nah, bro.

Yeah. What?

That's funny because your mom sucked my dick last night.

What? Shut the fuck up, dude.

If my dad fucking hears that, he'll beat your ass. My dad would fuck up your

dad. Your dad's like this short, just like you.

You know what? I have to.

Let's go. This is ridiculous.

Yeah,

well, your dad's not even present in your life anymore.

Asshole. Fucking kill you, bro. What?

I'm fucking killing you, dude. Stop talking shit about my dad and my mom,

Oh, my God. I could just grab you by the neck right now and fucking... I'm not

taking any more of this.

What? What is wrong with you? Who's talking? Who's this? What the fuck do

think is going on?

No, nothing. No.

What, you guys are speaking to each other and you can never get along?

You can't even manage to be friends. What's wrong with you guys? We're trying

go on vacation and you can't manage to get along for three fucking...

I'm sorry. You're not fine.

What the fuck?

Enough.

Here, listen. What am I going to do with you? Hey, what's enough? Who is

talking? Who's dick, huh?

I'm sick of this. I'm tired of this. You guys are going to get along.

How dare you speak to me like that? Whether you like it or not. Why would

talk like that about his mom?

No, she's like that. I had enough of this. What are we going to do with them?

I'm not canceling the trip. We're not canceling this job. You guys are going

get along.

You like it or not, you're going to get along.

They're so used to being just an only child. They're not used to sharing.

spoiled. That's what it is. You're spoiled. What about you, huh?

What about you, huh?

You just give everything your way. You don't know how to handle other people.

You can't share. You don't have friends.

You don't have other people's personalities, huh?

How are you going to function in life if you can't do those things? You're so

lame, though.

You know what?

We've got to think about this. We've got to figure out a punishment.

We've got to figure out a punishment.

Whether you like it or not, you're going to go through with this punishment.

So you stay here. Don't do anything. Just don't take away my video games or

anything. Oh, my God.

Let's go.

Yeah. I can't even deal with my dad.

I'm so sorry. The way he's acting.

It's okay.

I totally get it. My son's a little ridiculous, Johnny. He's crazy.

He's just so used to being a mom. He's great. He has no brother.

I see where my son is. He used to be an only child.

It's like they get everything they always want, and they don't know how to,

like, share it or get along with others. Same thing with Johnny. I've been

trying to get him to share since he was a child. I don't know what to do.

What are we going to do?

Well, I'm not kissing the shrimp, because that's just not a thing.

No, I'm not kissing it either. They're going to have to live with it. Yeah, but

we need a push.

What if they were talking all that shit?

What if we make them do that shit? Call them out on it. Yeah, put their money

where their mouth is.

And they'll have to learn to show off.

And then the playing field is even. Everything, everyone's... So, if... I

you permission if you want to do my stuff. Yeah. And then I'll go for yours.

yeah. That's okay. Yeah. Deal?

Deal. Hmm.

Boys!

We finally came up with your punishment.

Yeah, and I think you're going to like it this time.

What? What is it?

It's a lesson in sharing.

Yeah. Mm -hmm.

We work that up punishment.

Here, make some room.

Or rather, say, solution.

Since you guys are having such a hard time sharing, what better way than to,

hmm, have you guys share up?

Mm -hmm. What?

What the fuck? You guys were talking shit? Yeah. So, you were saying, you

I sucked your dick and...

She sucked yours, and now you guys are going to have to actually put your money

where your mouth is.

Mom, what are you doing touching his lap?

What the fuck, dude?

This way, everyone has an even playing field, and we can go on vacation and

enjoy it. And you guys are going to shake on it. And agree to this

You're going to learn to share.

Johnny, shake his hand now.

Give me your hand.

You're going to shake on this. Shake.

I fucking hate you, dude.

Look, you finally get to lose your virginity, maybe.

Fuck you. Mom, you're fucking lying, right? You're kidding?

Oh, we're not lying. We're not lying.

We're not kidding either. Here. Why don't you touch?

Come here. Oh, my God.

Oh, don't be shy.

Doesn't that feel good?

Yeah. You've probably never touched a woman before, have you?

Yeah, plenty.

You don't have to pretend, bro.

Whatever. I like how they feel.

I think you're just so stressed out. We have to just alleviate all that stress

and get it out of you. Isn't that right?

Get all that stress out of you.

Yeah, you do.

You guys just have to learn how to share each other.

Come on.

Why don't you kiss these?

You know what?

I want them to take out their dicks.

Oh, that's a good idea. Take out your dicks. Come on. Show it.

What's your choice? You won't be able to talk shit anymore.

Take it out.

Take it out.

Take it out.

Bro, you better not look.

Weirdo.

He looks just like his father.

Oh, shit. Yeah, he does take after his dad.

Let's do the captor.

That's so well.

Why don't you trick it off for us? Come on. Yeah, let me see.

I love what you see. See how hard you can get it for me. You like that?

Get it nice and hard. I'm going to see your feet. Rub.

Don't be shy.

Dad might not like that.

I like this.

Let me touch this just to help you wallow.

Give you a little help here.

You ever had a culture you lost before?

All the time.

Yeah, is that true?

Yeah. Okay.

Well, don't come too fast, okay?

Okay. Is this what you've been thinking about every time you come over? Mm -hmm.

Yeah? Yeah.

That's all you're going to want to share today.

Better not be looking over here weirdo too busy. We can't your mommy Okay

I suck at it.

Of course.

Mind if I, uh... Oh, of course.

The mouse mouth is so wet now.

Look! Look!

I feel so good.

It's so good, honey.

Oh, you like that, huh?

Oh,

that pincher thing, girl.

You know

what?

I think it's time.

Maybe they can feel it inside.

You ready for that?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh,

come on. Take off your cup.

Take these off.

Yeah.

You're getting all confident now, huh?

Why don't you take off all your...

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

That's a good boy.

Okay. Sit down. Sit down.

Oh, yes.

Are you okay?

Yeah, fuck that pussy, guys.

Are you going to show me your fucking man? Yeah.

You're not going to fucking share?

No, I'm not.

Holy shit.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, God.

Holy shit.

Just like that, huh?

Oh, your tear feels good.

Your tear feels so fucking good.

Yes.

Yes.

Just say it.

Your stomach is so fucking hard.

Oh, you like that pussy, huh? Come on, tell me you like that pussy. Tell me.

Yeah? Oh, fuck.

Yes. Oh, fuck.

I want to feel him. I want to fucking smack him in that pussy.

Mom, why are you going so deep on his dick like that?

Yes!

Holy shit.

Here, get the fuck up. Get some sleep.

Yes.

Thank you.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Rrrrrr!

Stop moving!

I mean, I, I, I. Truth.

You guys friends now?

I guess it's the truth.

Let's bump it up. Just stop stealing my video games.

Bro. Just don't break my phone again, man.

Look.

Sharing is caring. I think we've learned that today.

Are we going to have fun on this family vacation?

Yeah. Maybe we can even share rooms.

Yeah.