Original subtitles

[MUSIC PLAYING]

LETTER WRITER (VOICEOVER): Professor Erickson,

after considerable discussion with my colleagues

at the Vatican, we have a reluctantly decided to comply

with your request for a copy of the Banda

Manuscript of the Necrophilia Department

from the Vatican's occult archives.

Now this is perhaps the most obscure work

found on the subject of demonic conjurations.

However, treated with considerable caution,

you are dealing with the occult. Please

keep in mind that this material is authorized

or serious study only.

MISS SULLIVAN: Professor?

Hm?

I thought you needed to see me.

I do.

Just a moment.

LETTER WRITER (VOICEOVER): Remember that you were dealing

with the demon of sex and lust, and with the powers

of darkness.

So, I must warn you...

Professor, it's getting late.

What did you need to see me about.

It's about your grades, my dear.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

GRENGOL: Mistress!

Mistress!

Mistress!

Oh, what is it, Grengol?

Mistress, they released the manuscript from the Vatican.

What?

Yes!

It's true.

You're going to be conjured at any moment.

I don't believe it.

Well, it's true.

It's been five centuries since I was conjured by the Medici

to destroy that... that priest.

What's his name?

Saavan Arolla.

ISHA: Yes.

It was delicious, Grengol.

Oh, I miss the touch of mortal flesh.

Oh, we have to get you ready.

Ready?

Yes.

But Grengol, how do I look?

I'm ready.

What will we wear?

Hey, Dave, wait up.

I don't see why you can't wait till tomorrow to get

him those computer printouts.

I told you.

Erickson said he needed them today.

Besides, he says you have something

really important for me.

Yeah, but talk about lousy timing.

I mean, tonight is the night, remember?

The girls?

The concert?

The girls?

We may never get this opportunity again.

Who would've ever thought we could

get the Alphas into our frat house,

and maybe, into our beds?

Seth, believe me, I know.

But I could care less about our sex lives.

Besides, if I don't show up, he will screw up my grades.

And you know what that means?

BOTH: No Corvette.

Right.

You'd think your parents wouldn't mind getting one

B at this stage of the game.

Yeah, you'd think.

But you know my parents.

Still, it has been worth every sacrifice.

When I picture myself behind the wheels

of that precision machine...

[IMITATES SIZZLING]

[CHUCKLING]

Ah, just one more semester, and she's mine.

As long as Erickson doesn't stand in my way.

Yeah, well be careful.

I've heard he really loves to screw with students.

Yeah.

Wait here.

I shouldn't be gone too long.

You're not performing as well as you could, Miss Sullivan.

What does that mean?

It means that you'll get an F in my course

unless you do something... quick.

Something quick?

Miss Sullivan, why do you think I had you come up here?

I don't know.

I was hoping that you might be the one student who could

demonstrate to me that beauty and intelligence can

exist in the same person.

I must say, I now have my doubts.

I don't understand what you mean, professor.

I'm talking about expectations.

In order to succeed in this world,

one must live up to the expectations of those in power.

You do want to get through psychology,

don't you, Miss Sullivan?

Please don't do this.

Please, don't be a child.

I don't want to do it for a grade.

Then you do it for the hell of it, because I'm easy.

[LOUD SMACK]

That was a stupid move.

If I was going to stay in your class.

[INDISTINCT TALKING]

Then I'll transfer to another school.

And give up everything you've worked for?

You're a real jerk.

Well, it's better than being the campus slut.

Now run along.

Fuck you, asshole.

I'm going to report you.

Well, you go right ahead.

It's your word against mine.

[GROANS]

Some students... they'll try anything

to get out of an assignment.

But I know you won't fail me.

Now, get up off the floor, please.

Did you finish, uh, compiling the statistics?

Yeah, here.

That's good work, Kaufman.

That's real good work.

Well, here.

Now, um, this is your next assignment.

What's this?

These are the questionnaire answers from my latest survey.

Now I need the results compiled immediately.

Well, I think I can do that for you, sir.

Well, good.

I'll be by later tonight to pick them up around eight.

Tonight?

Yes, Kaufman.

Tonight.

I'm leaving.

I'm flying for the parapsychological conference

tomorrow, remember?

And I need time to analyze it.

That... that data could be critical

and I need time to type up the paper.

So tonight is it.

But tonight I have a...

No "buts," Kaufman.

That is your assignment.

Now you either do it or you... flunk the course.

You'd fail me over a bar chart?

Of course.

What else would you expect if you didn't

complete your assignment?

Now get going.

I'll be by later to pick up the results.

Yes, sir.

Oh, and Kaufman?

What?

If I ever catch you trying to listen outside my door again,

I'll have you expelled.

[DOOR SHUTS]

Heh, gee, you look real happy.

[SCOFFS]

Great.

Numbnuts wants me to compile a bunch of statistics

off all this crap.

So?

Big deal.

You don't understand.

He's flying out of town tomorrow.

He needs it before then, so the only chance I've got to do it

is tonight.

Tonight?

Are you crazy?

What about the concert?

The girls?

Especially the girls.

I gotta do it tonight or he flunks me.

Which means...

BOTH: No Corvette.

Right.

Well, look.

If anybody can do it quick, it's you.

All we got to do is get this stuff back

to the frat house real quick and enter the data in the computer.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

Let's go.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Jeff, are you OK?

Hello?

She smiled at me.

Tina, the hottest girl in Alpha-Sigma-Sigma.

[CHUCKLES]

Forget it.

She's with Mark, the dork.

Haven't you ever seen her at the house before?

I don't care.

I think I'm in love.

Oh, come on, stud.

Come on.

Tina.

TINA: Hey, Mark.

Coming to the concert at the house tonight?

Why should it matter to you if I am?

Well, I thought maybe you and I could hang out.

I told you it's over.

What do you mean it's over?

Nobody walks out on me.

I'm Mark Kelsey, remember?

Quarterback of the football team?

Yeah.

Third-string quarterback.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to be going.

[CHUCKLING]

What are you laughing at?

Give me another one.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[LOUD GUITAR STRUM]

OK.

Everything's set.

We've got munchies.

Got the beer in the fridge.

TONY: Yo!

Cleaned the place.

That's good.

Has anyone seen that twit, Theodore, around?

I think he's in the kitchen, Tony.

Yeah, he came through a little while ago.

What do you want with him anyway?

Ah, little dork stole something of mine.

Ah, he stole his "1,001 positions."

Yeah, yeah.

Laugh it up, geeks.

Least I know all 1,001 positions.

All you guys can do is maybe dream.

Besides, let's not forget his father

set this exchange up for you.

Know what I mean?

The girls, the band.

Man, once I told the Alphas that Shock-Ra was gonna play.

[SNAPS FINGERS]

All right, all right, you set up an exchange

with the top sorority in campus.

We owe you big time.

No biggie, President dude.

I just want us to be the number one house [INAUDIBLE].

And tonight, we are definitely number one.

[CHEERING]

Besides, I figured you guys would

need a little help with the ladies, and this'll do it.

Uh, what's with your outfit anyway, Tony?

The theme for the party is "heavy metal"

and not "The Playboy Channel."

Yeah.

Part of your deal was that we'd escort them over here.

You can't escort anyone dressed like that.

Hey, I set up the deal.

So let them come to me.

Yeah, but don't you want to hook up for a date?

Please, let's remember who you're

talking to here, gentlemen.

I'll have at least six lucky ladies wetting

themselves over me tonight.

Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to kill Theodore.

Much too much.

Theodore, you jerk.

Step aside, you dweebs.

Come on, you guys.

Yeah, we're here.

Come on, let's get some more beer.

Goddamn jocks, man.

Who needs them?

We do.

Without them, no prestige.

Without the techies, no GPA.

And without both of them...

BOTH: No Alpha-Sigma-Sigma.

I know what you mean.

The techs helped us with the books.

But those jocks... I mean, they're in there drinking

our beer for the party.

I mean, how are we going to relax or guests?

That's a good question.

Sorry.

Yeah, I'd hope so.

Oh, hey, Dave, Jeff, what's up?

Hey, Jason.

Hey, where's the band?

JASON: Oh, they're coming.

Uh, the techs came this afternoon

and set up their equipment so they can get right into it

when they get here.

Oh, yeah.

And that babe, Jade, singing and all

those Alpha girls right here?

You know that [INAUDIBLE] are quivering in the flesh.

BOTH: Oh!

Right.

Well, look, I'm going to be down in the basement, OK?

Excuse us, you geeks.

Hey!

Guys!

You guys remember to reserve the really

hot bitches for us, OK?

Let's get out of here.

GRENGOL: So which lipstick do you prefer, Mistress?

Bat's Blood Red or Skull Dust White?

White would be a bit much.

I'll take the blood.

Right.

Oh, Mistress!

Mistress!

Oh!

Grengol, what about this for Prince Medici?

He always loves me in black.

Oh, that was 500 years ago, Mistress.

Um, styles have changed.

Look at this!

Rock-and-roll... does this work?

Trust me, Mistress.

It'll work!

Good, because I must be ready for the prince when he calls.

Well, Mistress, he's dead.

Pity.

Who's conjuring me then?

GRENGOL: Perhaps a descendent.

Then I must be ready when the new prince calls.

How do I look, Grengol.

Theodore!

Theodore, you little twerp.

I know you're down here.

And if I catch you, you're going to die.

Hiya, Tony.

You looking for me?

No, it's that twit, Theodore.

He swiped one of my magazines.

Ha, I'm sure he'll return it.

It's not the magazine I'm worried about.

It's what I stuffed inside of it that matters.

I'm going to need it for tonight.

Hey, you better get ready for the exchange.

What about you?

I gotta... I gotta sort out this mess.

I gotta transfer all the data to a disk.

If it works out, I'll be up in a few minutes.

Well, what happens if it doesn't?

Then I'm screwed.

Well, think positive.

And I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Thanks.

What the heck is this?

[LOUD BANG]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[DOOR CLOSES]

Hey, Kelly.

Oh, hi.

Have you seen Dave?

In the basement.

Thank you.

It's Kelly.

Hi, Kelly.

Hi, Dave.

Kelly?

What's up?

I... I just bought this over.

I double checked your professor's data to make

sure there weren't any errors.

Oh, Kelly.

You didn't have to do that.

Oh, it's OK.

I like helping you.

It's, um, it matches the first printout,

and now everything's OK for sure.

Great.

But, I had to hand it in earlier tonight.

Oh.

What's this?

It's some new data for Erickson.

I almost got it all input.

He says he needs it tonight.

Oh, that shouldn't be any problem.

Yeah.

You want to see something strange?

Yeah.

It's something from the Vatican.

I mean, it has the Vatican stamp on it.

Wow.

"Read me by the voices of a thousand, then untold pleasure

is thine." [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

I told you it was strange.

"Voices of a thousand."

You suppose that means a thousand voices have

to say this for some reason?

Yeah, it could be.

You know, you could fake a thousand voices

on your high speed dialing system

and it'll only take a few minutes.

I wonder what would happen if I did?

Well, let's find out.

JASON: Dammit!

Those moron jocks drank half the beer.

I told you.

Jeff, you got your Jeep out front?

Yeah, what's up?

Can you drive?

We got to get to more beer before the party starts.

Yeah.

OK, but I don't want to be late for picking up the Alphas.

Is Dave still in the basement?

Him and Kelly.

-Kelly's here? -Yeah.

She brought him some computer printouts or something.

Just what he needs.

I'll be right back. -Good.

Thanks, man.

[CHANTING IN DIFFERENT LANGUAGE]

That should do it.

What?

What was that noise?

Wow, Jeff.

Hey, Kel.

That was some spell that I found with Erickson's papers.

You have to say it a thousand times to make it work.

So, uh, we faked it with overdose.

What are you doing messing around with spells?

What kind of spell?

Well, listen to this.

[GARBLED VOICES]

What do you think, Grengol?

Awesome!

Mistress!

Let's try it again.

See what happens.

[GARBLED VOICES]

What is it, Mistress?

It's a conjuration, Grengol.

It's coming.

It's coming.

I'll be coming.

I'm going.

Mistress!

Mistress, take me with you.

I want to watch you destroy the mortals with sex and lust.

Well, that's that.

Oh, my God!

Erickson's data!

Oh, no.

I bet that was the compiled data that he wanted too, huh?

Oh, man.

Erickson's going to have a fit.

Worse.

I think I just got an F. And all my computers are fried

by some freak power surge!

Dave, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Dave.

The way I look at, you got two choices.

Either you can stay here all night

and feel sorry for yourself, or you can come with me to get

some more beer for the party.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Uh, fellas, fellas.

Excuse me.

Uh, do you know where I can find David Kaufman?

Somewhere that way, dude.

Come on.

Follow us.

Come on.

Hey, Professor Erickson just pulled up.

Oh, shit.

Look, I'm going to disappear.

If he asks, tell him the computer broke and I

went to look for some parts.

You better disappear fast.

In here!

[GROANS]

Professor!

What can we do for you?

Uh, yes.

I'm looking for David Kaufman.

He... he had a problem with his computer

so I think he went to get something to fix it.

Yeah.

Where is his computer?

Right back there, down in the basement.

It's clear.

[COUGHING]

Let's get out of here fast.

Holy shit.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't a real mortal.

A mortal?

Where's Kaufman?

Who are you?

Who am I?

Come to me.

[BOINGING]

Flesh.

Flesh.

Flesh.

How did... how did... how did you do that?

I'm a demon, you fool.

[GROANS]

Such things are easy for me.

What?

A demon?

[GASPS]

God has nothing to do with this.

Bah!

Wimp!

Theodore?

Theodore, you geek!

Where's my rubbers?

Are you going to be all right?

I think so.

I just never got an F and lost a Corvette in the same night.

The computer screwed up.

You can't blame me for that.

Yeah, it happens to everybody.

You two don't know Erickson.

I need this course for my degree, too.

It's all over.

Look on the bright side.

At least you can drown your sorrows at the party tonight.

Oh, sure.

I'm such a party animal.

The way I feel tonight, I wouldn't even be

comfortable in my regular car.

JEFF: Well, what about you Kelly?

You coming to the exchange tonight?

KELLY: I'm not very much good at parties, either.

JEFF: I'm sure one of those guys in there [INAUDIBLE].

It's the way those guys work.

So, do you guys want to pick up the beer

first or drop Kelly off?

TONY: Goddamn.

Are you an Alpha?

No, I'm a demon.

What sorority is that?

Sorority?

Uh, you gotta be with the band.

Wow, didn't think you guys would be this hot.

Oh, you like?

You think I need a little lift after 4,000 years?

Lady, get rid of the clothes you got, and I'll give you

the lift you'll never forget.

Very well.

But I only have time for a quick one.

Yeah, sure, babe.

How about right here?

As you wish.

My God.

Oh, yes!

[CHUCKLING]

So, Dave, are you going to the party tonight?

Maybe I'll stop by.

But don't wait for me.

[CAR STARTS]

More?

TONY: (MUMBLING) More.

More?

More?

[WINCING]

Try not to speak.

Ah, it's been centuries.

[MOANS]

Sh!

More?

More?

Oh!

[GIGGLES]

Sharon, you really think Erickson would flunk you?

I don't know, but it's a shame I'm the first one

to call his bluff.

Funny.

You didn't call Mark Kelsey's bluff.

Look, I told you.

I had too much to drink and Mark took advantage of that.

I didn't sleep with him.

Not while you were.

As far as I'm concerned, you both made a big mistake.

Any member of the Sigma Epsilon Chi

is nothing more than an animal.

That's not true.

Sure it is.

They're totally tasteless.

I mean, the house is full of geeks and jocks...

Who try to bully them around.

Personally, I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact

that we agreed to go to this exchange at all.

That's not true.

Sure it is.

They're totally tasteless.

I mean, the house is full of geeks and jocks...

Who try to bully them around.

Personally, I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact

that we agreed to go to this exchange at all.

Oh, but it's worth it to see Shock-Ra.

You know that Tony?

He's the one who got Shock-Ra to come here.

Well, here's the joke.

I heard that he expects us all to pay him back.

Are they charging admission tonight?

No, silly.

She means they expect us to sleep with them.

Oh, no.

They're not all like that.

Well, one of us is.

I've had enough.

Kelly, are you going to the exchange?

Things didn't work out the way I wanted them to.

Hey, look.

We plan on making this an early night.

No one here is going with the Sigma guys.

And besides, I've made arrangements for us to split

once the concert's over.

Are you going to be all right with Mark there?

I already told the moron to back off.

I'm sorry I ever laid eyes on him.

But there is this other cute guy at the house

that I want to meet.

Oh, but he's different than the other ones.

He's kind of shy.

Dave?

Oh, I don't know his name.

We better finish getting dressed.

The guys are going to be here any minute.

I may have overdone it a bit with you, mortal.

I get carried away with virgins.

[GROANS]

Thanks for everything.

I'll be in touch.

Maybe we can get together again.

[GROANS]

But now, I must find he who brought me here.

[LOUD MUSIC PLAYING, INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Ladies, your escorts have arrived.

[WOOING]

OK, boys.

Quiet down.

You don't mind if we drive you back to your house in our cars?

I mean, we'd hate to have to walk all

the way back in these heels.

GROUP MEMBER: We'll ride with you anywhere you want, baby.

[CAT CALLING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Oh, man.

Looks like Erickson is still here.

Oh, joy.

You think Tina will show up tonight?

Mark will make sure of that.

What?

Just once I'd like to beat out a jock.

I thought women were supposed to like the sensitive type.

So when you and Kelly getting together?

Me and Kelly?

Yeah.

She really likes you, man.

No way.

For real.

You must be blind to miss that one.

She's not my type.

I mean, you know.

Like you even know what your type is.

Sure I do.

Something hot.

Really hot.

That ain't Kelly.

Look who's talking.

Since when are you "Mr. Outstanding Cool Dude."

Hey.

Hey, deep down inside this modest facade

beats the heart of a rare sex machine.

So how do you know Kelly is, eh, different?

You've seen way too many movies.

Come on, let's get the beer inside.

[COUGHING]

Holy shit.

What?

Tony!

Tony.

Tony, are you OK?

No more.

He must be sick.

You think you can get him in his bedroom?

[MUTTERING]

Yeah, I'll handle him.

You better go check on Erickson.

OK.

Oh, my God.

Professor Erickson?

Kaufman?

What happened?

I must have passed out.

This... this... it was unbelievable.

What was?

[GASPING]

A demon.

There was a demon here.

My God.

But how in the hell did she get here?

I... I did try a spell or something

that I found in your papers.

My... my papers?

The papers I gave you?

Let me see those papers.

Well, here's what's left of them.

They, uh, they kind of got burnt.

Isha.

You did it.

You conjured the demon of sex and lust.

DAVE: Demon of sex and lust?

I'll be famous.

"University Professor Conjures Demon."

Papers, books, film rights.

We've got to find her, and bring her back.

Keep that over there.

[MUTTERING]

TONY: No more.

Please.

Where the hell are the horses?

JADE: Wow!

Guys, check that out.

Whoa, they don't make house mothers like they used to, huh?

I love your outfit.

Thanks.

Ah.

Hey, are you in a band?

A band?

JADE: That's a great outfit for a heavy metal band.

She fits it nice.

Yeah.

Try this on.

See what this looks like.

Killer.

What do you think?

It's cool.

Yeah.

With all this stuff from the Vatican mixed in here,

there's got to be something in here on how to control...

I mean, how to send her back.

Let's just hope you didn't burn it.

But what if there isn't?

We'll be prepared with backup measures.

Like what?

They don't exactly have, um, demon extermination

services in the Yellow Pages.

Rituals.

Rituals, David.

Rituals and symbols.

They respond to both.

I got a doctorate in parapsychology, you know?

I do know something about this.

JADE: Yo!

Hey, how you doing?

Is that where we're supposed to set up?

Over there? -Uh, yeah.

Cool.

All right, well we'll be ready to rock

and roll in about 10 minutes.

Sound good to you?

Great.

All right.

Ralphie, come on!

We gotta get going.

Wow.

Jade!

These Xerox's are the only information we have on her.

Yes.

But, there are other measures.

Like if we could make a cross.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, that might work.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[HOWLING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Right this way.

Act cool.

Excuse me.

Where's Jade?

Yeah, is she really coming?

Yeah, they're going to be here in just a little while.

Trust us.

Look, we got the set up.

They're coming, right?

Yeah, absolutely.

They'll be there.

Ah, man.

That was my headset.

JADE: Robbie!

Ralph!

-Here. -Oh, great.

Thanks, hun. Appreciate it.

Ralphie.

Hey, watch it.

Band members coming through.

Whoa, Jade!

Get all this [INAUDIBLE].

Get up there.

All right, uh, let's see.

Now I need an announcer and, uh, you're it.

Yeah!

That is the woman for me.

What do you think?

That's fine.

That'll work.

Just hold it together somehow.

There's got to be some string or something around here.

Um, Professor, what happens if this doesn't work?

Oh, don't be absurd.

With the right spell and with that cross,

she doesn't have a chance.

Yeah.

Well, let's just hope you're right.

I always am, Kaufman.

I always am.

Finish that, quick.

[INAUDIBLE]

Whoa, look at the tits on that blonde goddess.

Oh, my God.

Hey, why don't you go hang over there for a little while?

Oh, you know, I never did get your name.

Isha.

JADE: Isha? What is that?

Middle Eastern?

Middle Ages.

Wow.

Hey, have you ever sung before?

Not for a long time.

Why don't you do a song with us, then?

[CHEERING]

OK.

[INAUDIBLE].

Really?

Really. [INAUDIBLE].

Buffy, we ready to go?

All right.

Hey!

Over there.

Come here.

Yeah, the announcer.

All right, you guys.

All right, you guys.

That's right.

They're here, they're waiting to rock you all night long.

Here is Shock-Ra!

[CHEERING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Sounds like the band made it.

The girls, too.

Tina.

Man, you think they'll get pissed at us

for bringing some of the other players?

Hey, fuck 'em.

Who rules around here anyway, right?

Come on.

Hey!

Hey, boys.

Get out of here.

Get out of my way.

Hey, what's in the cup?

How could that dude afford scotch?

Nah, it's beer, man.

Beer?

How can he afford beer, that lowlife bum.

Yeah, let's get some chicks.

Do the right thing now.

Where's the ladies?

BUM: Goodbye!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Hi.

Hi.

Great band, huh?

Yeah.

I... I got their first two CDs.

Yeah?

Me too.

Tina.

Jeff.

We seem to run into each other a lot, don't we?

Yeah.

I kind of like that.

You do?

All right.

[MUFFLED MUSIC]

(YELLING) Uh, Professor?

Sounds like the concert's starting.

[REGULAR MUSIC]

-Hey! -What?

It's Tina, man.

She's talking to one of the nerds.

What are you gonna do?

Gonna rearrange his fucking face, that's what.

Come on!

JADE: Hey!

Hey, hey!

What's going on here?

It's this damn jock, Jade.

Fuck you, man.

Get out of here!

MARK: Hey!

Think you can take me, geek?

Huh? -Mark!

Huh, huh?

Leave him alone, jerk!

There's no fighting in my concert.

Piss off!

Piss off?

Hey, you stupid bitch.

Somebody's gotta help them.

Hide over there.

You put on a hell of a punch there, you bitch.

Yeah, but I'll bet she couldn't take us both on.

Not with your clothes on, anyways.

Both at the same time?

Now that sounds interesting.

All right.

Back off, assholes.

It's OK, mortal.

I've got it under control.

[LOUD GROANING, SHRIEKING]

It's shrinking!

What did you do?

I just massaged their egos a little bit.

JASON: Elizabeth!

Wait!

Wait, look, look.

You can't leave.

[SCOFFS]

Wanna bet?

We came here for a concert, not a riot.

OK, we can stop it.

How?

Look, it's those moron jocks.

We'll just toss them out.

The steroid-popping [INAUDIBLE] are bigger than us.

Yeah, but there's more of us than them.

We can do it.

We can do it.

Wait here.

Let's go.

Oh, God.

What a joke. -What a joke.

Yeah, unbelievable.

Come on!

[YELLING]

[CHEERING]

Yeah!

Read my lips, assholes!

You guys are out of this house forever!

And if you ever come back, we'll call the police!

Woo!

I can't believe we won.

The jocks are actually running away.

Oh, did you hear Kevin and Eric?

Man, they were talking so weird.

I know.

Where's Mark the dork anyway?

The chicken just probably ran away

when he saw we were winning.

[CHEERING]

Say good riddance to them!

All right!

Hey, everybody.

Back to the concert.

[CHEERING]

Well, what do you say we finish this concert?

Yeah!

[CHEERING]

Professor!

I found it.

What?

The spell we need.

We'll attack it once.

Isha.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

ALL (CHANTING): Shock-Ra!

Shock-Ra!

Shock-Ra!

Shock-Ra!

Shock-Ra!

Shock-Ra!

Shock-Ra!

Shock-Ra!

Shock-Ra!

Shock-Ra!

Shock-Ra!

Shock-Ra!

Shock-Ra!

Shock-Ra!

Shock-Ra!

(FAINTS) Shock-Ra!

Shock-Ra!

Shock-Ra!

Shock-Ra!

Shock-Ra!

Shock-Ra!

[DOOR HANDLE CLICKS]

Are you a virgin, too?

[GRUNTS]

Not for long.

[WHIMPERS]

I've got to step out for a second.

Are you leaving?

Restroom.

Oh.

It's right through here.

It's down the hall.

Thanks.

Faster!

Faster!

Oh, you're so good.

[WHIMPERS]

[MOANING]

Dave!

Where have you been all night?

What's with all this stuff?

I can't explain right now.

We've got to find her.

We're looking for a woman.

Uh, skimpy outfit.

[INAUDIBLE]

High-heeled boots.

A little horn.

-Jane's friend. -Yeah.

She's here?

She was right up there.

Well, she was.

Well, maybe she went to... to fix her makeup.

The bathroom!

Oh!

Right there.

Oh, faster.

Faster!

Oh!

You're so good.

[MOANING]

You're really good.

You are.

You're really good.

Theodore...

Hm?

You're not no virgin no more.

[GIGGLES]

Do you like it?

Uh...

Do you like it, Theodore?

-I don't know. -Do you like it?

No!

Yes, you do!

So, uh, what do we do?

I'll handle it.

All right, stand back.

[SCREAMING]

[SMACK]

[TOILET FLUSHES]

Pervert.

[SCOFFS]

Professor Erickson, are you OK?

[CHEERING]

All right, all right.

I got a big surprise for you in just one second.

Isha?

Isha, where are you, ma'am?

Uh, I gotta go find her.

OK, uh, keep 'em warm.

[STICKS CLAPPING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

You know, maybe you should have knocked first.

Boy, she throws a mean right cross.

ISHA: Wait!

I want more!

You're gifted.

You have so much to offer.

Mortal, come back here!

You think that's enough?

In centuries, I haven't seen such loin power!

No!

Doors!

[DOORS SLAM]

What was...

What are we going to do now, Professor?

How far up are we?

From the ground?

Hold on.

A couple stories.

Well, if one were to hang by their hand before jumping...

We might only break an ankle.

It wasn't me I was talking about, Kaufman.

Isha.

You called me?

Where the fuck have you been?

You're on.

[INAUDIBLE]

Kelly!

Kelly.

KELLY: Dave?

What are you doing up there?

No time to explain.

Just get up here and get me out of this bathroom.

[CHEERING]

OK, people.

The surprise you've been waiting for.

My friend, Isha, is a rock-and-roller.

What song should I tell 'em to play?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Are you all right?

TINA: I just noticed something.

What?

How sexy you are.

What?

Kiss me!

There she is.

Kelly, where'd you get that?

The what?

What you mean "that what?"

Those clothes.

Oh.

[INAUDIBLE]

I mean, you weren't even wearing them even a minute ago.

I've never seen you look that way before.

You like them?

Well, yeah.

I mean, yeah.

Yes, I do.

Are you OK?

Sure.

I feel a little dizzy.

I feel a little warm, Dave.

Dave.

Dave, we have to talk.

Talk? Now?

Uh, I hate to interrupt Kaufman,

but we got something to do, remember?

Uh, Professor Kelly?

Oh, take me.

Wait.

For what?

For this.

Oh, Jesus, Kelly.

Take me... take me this instance.

It's never this easy for me.

Kelly.

I... Kelly...

Now, Dave.

Well, take her, Kaufman.

Take her or I will.

Take me!

Uh, ma'am, couldn't this wait a little... no, I guess not.

[DOOR SLAMS]

TONY: Hey, short stuff.

Get me out of here.

What happened to you?

Uh, it's kind of hard to explain.

Yeah, I'll bet.

[INAUDIBLE].

Well, tell me about it.

I'm going to get some coffee.

Well, good luck.

There's a party in the way.

I'll just slip through the kitchen.

God, if I ever meet another sexually

impressive woman again...

I've been watching you from the first day I saw you.

I want you right now.

God, no.

[INAUDIBLE]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

No.

Oh, no.

No.

You are dead, shithead.

[POWER-UP SOUND]

[FLAT PUNCH]

Shit.

[FLAT PUNCH]

[LOUD PUNCH]

Wow!

[CLAPPING]

Damn, chick!

You are good.

That was incredible.

Yeah.

But why did we do it anyway?

Not that I'm complaining.

It just seemed like the right thing to do.

Like I just had to do it.

Had to do it?

Isha.

Who?

She's a demon?

Your experiment?

That's what the spell is all about.

She appeared right after we left.

Oh, my God!

Yeah.

And now, Erickson's all alone against her.

She could be dangerous.

Well, aren't you going to try and help him?

Hell no.

Hope he gets his butt kicked. Heh.

I just want to watch.

ISHA: Well, well.

If it isn't our intellectual.

What is going on?

He thinks he can send me back.

Well, you're wrong there, demon.

Get away from her, miss.

She's a spawn of the devil.

A thing of hell!

Clear a path!

JADE: Hold on.

All freeze.

It all stops!

So, kinky one, what is it you're going to do to me?

KELLY: It's her!

Jesus!

He has nothing to do with you.

Stay out of this, Kaufman.

It's all under control.

Just stay out of the way.

Hear me!

[CHANTING IN DIFFERENT LANGUAGE]

By all things dark and unholy.

By blood and souls, I command thee, demon,

obey may every command!

Now, heel... heel before me, hell spawn.

Grovel before your master.

[BOINGING]

Oops.

Oh, crap.

What's all that stuff about slaves?

I thought you were supposed to send her back?

Fool!

Can't you see?

Can't you feel it?

Sex is all that ultimately matters,

and she's the most powerful being in the universe.

Why should I send her back when she could be my slave forever?

But Professor...

But nothing!

Get out of my way.

Behold this symbol, demon, and all that it means.

[CHUCKLING]

That's it.

That's it.

Now, kneel.

Kneel before me.

I'm an atheist, dummy.

Uh-oh.

Shit.

All right, there was always a possibility

that this might not work.

OK, now what are we going to do?

Use an escape option.

OK, what's that? You!

[GRUNTS]

Dave!

ERICKSON: [INAUDIBLE].

Freeze!

Now turn around, slave.

Good.

Now stay there.

Heh.

So at last we meet, my commodore.

Pleased to meet ya, I'm sure.

Now tell me, why is it you brought me here?

Riches?

Power?

Sex?

No, no, no.

I just wanted to see what happened.

I didn't mean to do it.

Well, if you don't have a use for me,

maybe I have one for you.

Perhaps not.

You look a little tired, mortal.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm real tired.

I'm real incompetent, too.

You on the other hand.

Out of everyone here, he is the only one who

wants to have sex all the time.

That's why he does it with his students.

What are you going to do to him?

The price for conjuring a demon is a soul,

and I claim this one.

You can't do that!

I can do anything I want.

I'm the demon.

And besides, with his disregard for authority and morality,

we would have had him eventually anyway.

Well, wait.

Are you trying to tell me that you'd try to save one who would

send you to hell in his place?

Yeah.

Yeah, I am.

Well, I'm glad you brought me here.

I had fun.

And to show my appreciation, there.

Now the school records show that you get an A in parapsychology.

And you get the Corvette.

And all memory of him is gone forever, except for the people

in this room.

How can you do that?

I'm a demon, silly.

It's easy.

No, thanks.

Think I'll pass.

Have it your way, mortal.

[WHIP SOUND]

[RUMBLING, BANGING]

Thank God it's over.

No, it's only just beginning.

Hey, look what I found.

Heh.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Geez, it suits me.

Hey, Dave.

Want to get a brewski?

[CHUCKLING]

Yeah, let's get out of here.

Come on.

[INAUDIBLE].

Hey, yo.

Bitch!

Oh, right on cue.

[CRASHING]

The concert's over.

Enjoying yourself, Grengol?

Mm, I haven't had a break in centuries, Mistress.

I thought you'd enjoy it.

Mistress, now that the mortals have the stuff for conjuration,

does that mean you'll be leaving again soon?

I doubt it.

They didn't seem eager to have me back.

I wonder why.

Beats me.

More champagne.

No, thank you, Mistress.

I think I've had enough.

[GIGGLES]

Me too.

Time for more entertainment.

Again?

Uh, of course. Again.

Again.

Silly me.

Slave!

(WEAKLY) Yes.

Yeah, you rang, Mistress?

Yes.

I need more servicing.

And get rid of that.

But... but Mistress, we've already done it 20 times today.

It's never enough.

You always wanted more sex.

Get it up, mortal.

It's time to use it or lose it.

[GRUNTING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

MAN: Damn!

What the hell was that?