All language subtitles for Trailer Park Boys S01E00 Piloto

Come on in, boys.

Sorry, I just woke up.

So what do you want to talk about?

Uh, whatever you...

I gotta go get
ready in here, boys.

Check that out.

That is a 350 5.7 liter tuned port
injection.

You know, you can't get better than that.

Guess what year this is.

Guess.

90?

87.

Pretty good shape, eh?

Yo.

Are you ready?

I'll be there in 10 minutes, alright?

Be waiting outside because I'm not coming
in.

Got it?

Alright.

How's Ricky?

Ricky's my partner.

This is my 9mm.

Bought one for Ricky last year for his
birthday.

Small.

Compact.

Easy loading.

Fast action.

Good little starter gun.

Go to 20 Smith.

That's where I'm gonna go pick up Ricky.

Next message.

Hey, it's me.

I am home.

You're gonna have to come get me.

You gotta get over here.

We gotta do this one more job.

That's 600 bucks and I need it for my
fucking work.

I've saved your ass.

Just a second.

Lucy, I'm using the bathroom and I'm on
the phone with a customer.

Just wait up.

I gotta get in there.

Not a problem.

I'll be out of here in a few seconds.

Just get out.

Anyway, I'm talking to a customer.

A customer?

Steve we work with.

It's not fucking Julian, Lucy.

Lucy, fuck off!

Get out of the phone!

Get out of the phone!

Look, I'm really sorry about this,
Steve.

I can't believe you're fucking fooling
this little customer.

Come pick me up in the
morning and let's fucking... Hello?

Give me the fucking phone!

Fuck you!

Who are you talking to?

I'm fucking talking to some Steve guy.

A customer.

What are you doing?

I'm talking to fucking Mr. Julian.

Come pick me up for fuck's sake,
please.

You just fucking...

End of message.

He's inside with my mom.

I don't think she likes you very much.

Yeah, well she's got problems.

Do you have a smoke?

I'm talking to a Steve guy from work that
I met.

He's a client.

Do you have a light?

I met him at work.

I thought you were trying to quit.

I am!

You know what that costs?

That costs 50 cents per year.

What are you guys doing?

We're doing a documentary about your dad
and Julian.

That's bullshit.

I'm working and that's final.

Oh!

Or Frankie, or Fred... Lucy, I tell
you, I talked to a guy named Steve.

I'm gonna be gone for three fucking hours
working for him.

That's all I know.

That's it.

So, uh, it wasn't Julian.

Where's my fucking gun, Lucy?

Holy fuck.

You're all set.

I told you 15 times I didn't talk to
Julian.

So what you're saying is Julian's
not gonna... Just show up here.

I have a fucking gun right here.

If Julian shows up, it's not fucking
because of me.

What in the fuck is going on here?

Well, I decided to hire this film crew to
document my life.

I've got a feeling something's gonna
happen to me.

You ever get that feeling?

Yeah.

So, you know, to have a bit of my life on
film... I just thought it'd be pretty cool.

I always looked up to, you know,
Clint Eastwood and people like that.

You know, different movies and...

I just thought it'd be kinda cool.

You know?

People can watch it and learn from it.

Because I'm not that bad of a guy,
really.

You know, I'm just trying to make a few
dollars.

I'm a businessman.

I don't need this shit right now.

I just need my gun and I need my
belongings.

I have to go to work to bring some goddamn
money home to this family.

Jesus!

Who the fuck are these guys?

Why is there a TV crew in my living room?

I don't know.

Why am I on fucking TV right now?

I'm just playing with your ass,
fool.

You show up here unexpectedly.

I didn't fucking call you to come here,
did I?

Tell her that.

I didn't talk to Julian all day,
did I?

Did I talk to you today?

No.

I'm taking these cigarettes because I've
got none left.

I'm taking my last smokes.

There's three here.

Here, fucking take one.

I'm only gonna go on a few hours.

I was gonna take my last smokes.

Let me see.

I don't need this shit right now.

You turn off your fucking camera and
whoever this guy is at the mic,

get these fucking guys out of here,
alright?

I don't need this shit.

I'm fucking trying to have a discussion
with my wife here.

I'm not your fucking wife!

You show up unexpectedly.

I meant fiancé.

Get the hell out.

Fiancé.

Go off with your
little fucking... Fuck!

I really need this today?

No.

This is bullshit.

What does your mom think of Julian?

She thinks he's an idiot.

Julian.

Well, Julian is Ricky's best friend from
when they were kids.

They grew up together in the trailer park.

I didn't have many friends growing up.

But Ricky kind of tagged along with me.

You know, bought a bit of weed off me.

Used to get stoned stuff and have a few
drinks.

You know, it kind of grew on me.

Since they grew up together, they got into
a lot of trouble together.

They've been in and out of prison
together.

Because of...

You know, I mean, I think
Julian... Julian's pretty smart.

He's probably the one who gets them into
the trouble.

Well, I don't really understand exactly
why it's such a problem, I must admit.

But, I mean...

Ever since Lucy met Julian a couple years
back...

I don't know, she just doesn't like us
hanging out for some reason.

Lucy...

She's a trailer park hoe.

You know, there's nothing wrong with that
if you're attracted to them.

I mean, I know Julian.

I knew Julian before I knew Ricky.

Julian and I went out for a little while,
like when I was 16 or whatever.

I mean, that's...

That was a long time ago, but...

I hate him.

Lucy hates my guts.

And I don't like her either.

And it doesn't bother me.

She put me through hell.

I'm 16 years old.

We were at this party one night.

I got pretty drunk.

I don't... It was...

You know, did you ever have
those nights where you just

totally blank out and you
wake up the next morning?

I... Well, I had
one of those nights.

And...

I woke up with her next to me in bed,
naked.

I don't know what the hell happened.

I just got out of there.

I didn't know what I was doing.

And I think that I was just sort of
attracted to his dangerous side.

But I don't... I don't need
that kind of thing anymore.

And so, you know, Ricky hooks up with her
and becomes engaged.

It was his first girlfriend.

You know, one of those first girlfriend
things.

And...

I don't know.

He's engaged now.

And I don't have the heart to tell him.

Well, I mean, I used to fix cars a little
bit on the side.

I used to sell a bit of dope, too.

And she had a friend.

The car broke down.

So they called me up.

I don't know if it was to fix the car or
the dope or whatever.

But usually I've got dope on me.

So I went over to fix the car.

And Lucy was there.

I couldn't help but notice.

I mean, she's an attractive woman.

I don't think so.

You know, just one thing led to another.

We were drunk at a party.

And we've kind of just been going from
there.

And I can't understand it.

You know, he's working hard paying bills.

And she sits around the
house all day smoking

cigarettes and doing
God knows what else.

Julian's a problem.

Julian is not a problem.

And Julian is the reason that we can
afford this house.

Anyway, moving on.

Lucy!

Lucy!

Lucy!

Lucy!

I don't want to hear about it anymore,
okay?

I've got to go to work with him.

And that's the only way I have a way
around right now.

Remember I lost my license?

Jesus!

Don't slam the door in my face!

Daddy's got to go to work for a couple
hours, okay?

I'll be back.

Yeah, put that... if Mommy sees that,
you know what's going to happen.

You should go around back and smoke that.

I mean, Julian and Ricky are giving her
smokes all the time.

And how old are you now?

Six?

Five?

Six.

She's six.

And she's addicted to cigarettes.

I don't give her any cigarettes.

I don't believe in that, actually.

I think Lucy gives her the odd one.

And Julian, I guess, gives her smokes once
in a while.

Once in a while?

I'm trying to get her to stop smoking.

And, like, put this down.

I want to show them...

I want her to stop smoking, right?

So we put her on the patch.

Show them the patch.

See?

We've got her on the patch.

Now, should we try it on a cigarette?

Or, like, that nicotine stuff?

That nicotine gum?

But she got really sick off it.

Now, you know about the patch,
right, honey?

What did I tell you about the patch?

Never smoke with the patch on.

Trinity, just... Just
go in the house!

Don't burn yourself.

Don't come over here, Lucy.

Don't get in that car with him!

He's drinking!

No shit!

Who cares?

I've got to go to work.

He's drinking and driving!

He's had a couple drinks.

It's not a big deal, Lucy.

Lucy's got a real problem with me drinking
and driving.

It's none of her business what I do.

Ricky got caught drinking and driving.

And, you know, now he can't drive
anywhere.

I'd say that's Julian's fault.

People that get caught drinking and
driving are stupid.

For instance, Ricky.

They've got this limit thing.

You can't, you know, you can only be below
the limit.

It smells like liquor in here.

We were at a party and, you know,
I hung out.

I slept outside in the picnic table out
back.

Ricky decides to go home because Lucy was
going nuts, phoning him and shit.

So he had to go and lost his license.

You know, he didn't care.

So he just kept driving for, like,
a couple years.

And then he got stopped again because he
was drunk driving.

And when the cops found out that not only
was he drinking and driving, but that his

license had been taken away a while ago,
they just went ballistic.

They hook you up to this bloody computer
machine thing.

You've got to blow on a straw.

I don't even think they're reliable
because, to me, I was fine.

According to them, I'm a little over the
limit.

They fine you.

You know, they take you away.

Big hassle.

I mean, what's the big deal having a few
beers driving home, so?

So we got his license taken away.

So we don't have a way of getting around.

But since we don't live in the park
anymore, like, close to our people,

like our friends or whatever, we have to
rely on Julian.

Where are you going?

I'm going to work.

How many times do you need to tell you
that, huh?

Oh, you're going to go hire a couple of
whores?

Lucy, that was two fucking years ago.

We don't need to talk about that today
among everything else.

I fucking hate you, you asshole.

Lucy, get back here.

Get back here, Lucy, and give me a kiss.

Fucker.

I'll be back in a couple of hours.

Yeah, don't fucking bother.

Don't be doing a coke in my driveway,
you idiot.

Are we ready?

Yes.

As with the fucking guy in the camera.

Told you, I'll tell you later.

What's wrong with you today, man?

You're not yourself at all.

What the fuck's going on?

Huh?

Do you believe in psychics?

I guess so, I don't know.

Depends what you're talking about.

What's going on?

I was told I'm going to die in five days.

Are you serious?

Yeah.

Well fuck man, like that's not good.

When did this happen?

The other night, I gave him a call.

A phoned psychic.

Man, are you fucking retarded?

I don't believe in those fucking assholes.

That's not a psychic, man.

That's $5.99 a minute.

Let's go get some food.

Fuck!

Squirrel!

Fuck!

Did you get him?

No, man.

I've got a joke for you, man.

I don't want to hear it.

I might cheer your fucking sorry ass up
cause you're fucking grumpy today.

It's pissing me off.

Ricky, you're not funny.

I don't want to hear any jokes.

No, this is a good joke, I
just want to... You're not funny.

Okay, here's the deal.

You bake a loaf of bread.

Okay?

Do they call you a baker?

Are you a trucker?

No.

You're not a baker because you bake one
loaf of bread.

You drive a truck.

Let's suppose you've got to move some shit
from your old house to your new house.

You run a truck and you drive it one day.

Does that make you a trucker?

Are people going to call you a trucker?

No.

You're not going to be a fucking trucker.

However, you suck one cock.

You get it?

You get it, man?

You sucked a cock?

I didn't suck a cock.

No.

What I'm saying is...
What are you trying to say?

You sucked a cock.

It's a fucking joke.

It's a fucking joke, man.

Don't you get it?

Alright, you know, Ricky's got a bit of an
attitude.

Ever since he's left this park,
he thinks he's above everybody.

Okay, so this is the trailer here I grew
up in.

I spent all my life there until,
well, two years ago.

Finally got out of the park.

We were living with Ricky's parents.

His dad was drunk.

All the time.

He was a bad drunk.

My dad used to make homebrew when everyone
was coming by and drinking.

It was a bad scene, you know.

I didn't mind it, but my friends calling
Lucy a trailer park hoe and all this stuff.

You know, you can't have that with a
little girl around.

So...

Anyway, here we are.

We're a lot happier now.

I won't be doing this
much longer, and then

we'll just have time to
spend with my family.

Ricky started growing some pot.

And he made a whack of money doing it.

And, uh, I mean, it's with all that money
that he got this place.

And so we thought, well, hell,
why not move out, have a farm,

kind of, you know, like, urban farmer kind
of thing.

I mean, at least it's normal.

You know, fine.

You have to leave the park because you
want to have a baby, get married,

and, you know, have a
good little white picket fence,

garage, you know, backyard,
basement-type dwelling.

That's fine.

But... You are from the park.

You will always be from the park.

And if you think you are better than me
because you don't live in the park,

you know, I don't have time for you.

If it was up to me, I'd probably still be
here.

I like it here.

People are great.

Lots to do here.

Always a party going on.

But, you know, I got a kid with Lucy now
to look after.

And Lucy wanted to get the hell out of the
park, so...

I saved up some money and got us a house
in suburbia.

If I could live in a nice house,
if I wanted to, because I've got money.

I'm a hard-working guy, but I like where I
live.

And there's nothing wrong with that.

I don't know, man.

I think you got a bit of an attitude going
towards me, you know.

Well, it's really bothering me lately.

Well, lately, you're a little fucked up.

I mean, I don't do as much coke and stuff
as you do.

We're not on the same wavelength,
you know what I'm saying?

And if I want to drink, if I
want to do a bit of coke,

smoke some weed, sell some
drugs, drive around in my vet...

I'll do it, because that's who I am.

A lot of people can't understand me.

I've got a family now, buddy.

I've got responsibilities.

I can't be fucking drinking every day,
doing coke every day.

I mean, I still do a little bit,
but that's different.

I've got responsibilities now.

Basically, family, to me, is all that
matters.

You know, when you've got a family,
life changes.

You can't always be drunk all the time.

You can't be doing drugs.

You can't be selling drugs.

You can't be driving around like a
friggin' maniac.

You know, your wife asks you to do stuff,
you do it.

That's what family is to me.

I go to work for as short amount of time
as possible.

I don't do drugs anymore.

I hardly ever drink, apart from the odd
beer with my friends.

I smoke a joint here and there,
but I mean, I'm not doing coke and heroin

and everything else you do in the park
once in a while.

I didn't want to be there.

I mean, I knew that there was something
better.

And so here we are, you know, in this
great place.

Anyway, I'm happy where I'm at.

You're happy here.

That's fine.

Everybody's different.

I've got a family you don't.

I've got a little kid you don't.

You've got an attitude I don't.

I live in the park you don't.

You think you're better than me,
but you're not.

Listen, buddy.

Once a trailer park boy, always a trailer
park boy.

Remember that.

That's what it's all about.

I mean, I live here anymore, but I'm still
from here.

No, we can do it, no problem.

We're going to have to meet.

Just one second.

Just one second.

I've got a call.

Hello?

Lucy?

Lucy?

Just a second.

Just a second.

Listen, I've got to go.

I've got a customer on the other line.

Two o'clock.

Dairy Queen parking lot.

$350.

Tens and twenties.

Yep.

All right, bye.

Lucy!

What did I fucking tell you?

Don't call me on this fucking phone.

Oh, for fuck's sakes.

Lucy, I've got to go.

I've got to go.

There's some fucking jackasses here.

I'll call you right back.

Hey, man.

What's up?

What in the fuck are you guys doing here?

What are you guys doing here?

We're wondering if we could get some
stuff.

Did you see the fucking TV crew here?

You're just going to pull up and
interrupt?

You guys don't even know what's going on
here, do you?

You don't have a fucking clue.

Can we get some stuff?

What time is it?

I don't know.

Twelve o'clock.

All right.

When do I open?

Hey, punk.

Twelve o'clock.

What time do I open?

I miss, I miss, you know, hanging out with
those guys.

It was like me and Cory, then Ricky,
then Jack.

Julian, we were, you know, we were always
kicking it.

We used to rock this place.

All over the place.

We own this park.

We used to go, we used to rock the
schoolyard, man.

We used to go there early in the morning
and wait for the kids to get off the bus

and kick the shit out of them just for
looking at us funny.

You know what I mean?

Just for, like, wearing park clothes and
shit.

Don't come around me until 9.

Alright?

Leave.

Boys, what are you doing?

I just wanted to get some stuff.

Every day you show up
here in the middle of the

afternoon, he never
sells to you until 9 o'clock.

And every fucking day you come here.

What's going on?

When we were growing up in the park,
they were always saying that, that Rick,

that his parents were brother and sister
and stuff.

And I don't know if any of that's true,
but...

The guy, he's just, he's fucking nuts.

He's a prick.

Like, I don't know.

I hate that guy.

Yeah, is it?

I mean, I don't hate him.

Yeah, I don't hate him.

I just, like, you know what I mean?

Like, I mean... You hate him.

Well, no, I don't hate him.

It's just, it's cause the camera,
you know?

People just fucking say it.

They're not gonna see this shit.

Did you not notice we have a little TV
crew here?

Now you guys are on film, trying to buy
some dope.

What?

I don't know what to say.

Get out of here.

They call you punk when you're walking
away and shit.

That's the thing, man.

I mean, don't get me wrong.

All I wanted to do was say it to my face.

If he thinks I'm a dick, say it to my
face.

He's never said it to my face.

He tells these guys that we're dicks.

They use our money.

Say it to my face, buddy.

Knock, knock, boys.

What?

Knock, knock.

Who's that?

Two fucking dumb idiots that
drive a big piece of shit from

the trailer park that don't know
when to come buy fucking dope.

Now get the fuck out of here.

Leave.

Jesus, dude.

You're not even fucking dick and shit,
man.

I'm not being a dick.

You guys are just fucking driving me nuts.

If this is a biography, like,
one of those guys, probably

Rick, sit there and tell you
how he, like, stole a car.

Or Julian will tell you how he did it.

But you know what happened?

Like, when they were,
like, 13 years old, like, I think

it was, I don't even know
if it was Julian or Rick.

I don't know who it was.

But one of the guys, like, got in the car
and got in trouble and spanked and shit

for taking their father's car and backing
in and out of the driveway.

And that's how they stole the car.

And then they walk around, like, two years
later saying they stole a car and shit.

But all they did was back in and out of
the driveway.

And they didn't even go around the block
and shit.

He just backed in and out of the drop.

Anybody can do that.

His father spanked him in front of
everyone in the park.

Spanked him.

And called him home.

He got his bare ass slapped right in front
of all the kids.

Skagnita, Rogerina, all the ladies were
there.

It's just, oh man.

You can't have that happen.

You know what I'm saying?

Oh shit, it's going all over your sacrum,
man.

Another diss at us.

What time should we come back at?

Don't come back.

Nine o'clock.

What time should we come back at?

Nine o'clock.

Nine o'clock?

What time is it now?

Twelve o'clock.

Twelve o'clock.

For the third time, you fucking dumbass.

Jesus Christ.

What a piece of shit.

Man, how can you sell dope to dicks like
that?

You're fucked.

Call me fucked.

Man, you gotta choose your customers,
cause that's fucked up.

Oh, I'm gonna eat.

I'm gonna get Mr. Rogers in buying coke
for me.

Yeah, see you later, you fucking dicks.

Christ, man.

I fucking come to the trailer park once a
week and I gotta deal with that shit?

Let's just go fucking take care of this
job.

Fuck.

I take care of people's problems.

They give me a call, I take care of it.

I don't like what I do.

But, you know, somebody's gotta do it.

Well, we've got clients
that we have to perform

services for, you know,
something like that.

I love that.

Clients.

I started up my business five years ago.

You know, it took a long time to get a
good client base, but, you know,

after five years you're pretty well in
there.

You'd be surprised.

I mean, when I started
it, I said, you know, how

many people are gonna
want this kind of service?

But, like, our phone rings non-stop.

It's fucking nuts.

I don't know exactly what
it is that he does, but he's

getting out of it and he's
gonna get a different job.

People call us up and they pay us to,
uh, just to do odd jobs, basically.

Are you fucking dicks almost ready?

There's people around here we wanna get
this over with.

You guys gotta keep up.

You gotta keep up.

I don't mind you following us around,
but fucking keep up.

Ricky, keep the swearing down,
alright?

Step aside.

Step aside.

I'm kicking the door in.

I've got a screwdriver.

Fuck the screwdriver.

I've got a screwdriver, man.

Just, no.

Ricky.

You wanna screw this up?

Just hurry the fuck up.

You gotta make sure the timing's right.

And the timing is a key thing.

If you do a job and
the timing isn't at the

right time, then you're
gonna fuck everything up.

And that's not what I do.

I'm a professional.

Hello?

It's, uh, Mr. Peterson from XJour.

Just checking the pipes.

Okay, we're clear.

Okay, uh, we're looking for a black cat
here.

It's about eight to ten months old.

It's been, uh, fucking the neighbor
around.

I guess he's got a bird feeder.

And the cat's been fucking around eating
all the birds, so...

Actually, there's a fucking little fucker
right there.

Fuck.

I'll scare him out the other side.

Okay.

Make a hissing noise.

Got him?

Fuck, I had him.

Fuck!

Ah, you little fucker!

See, this is the kind of shit we gotta put
up with.

I mean, sometimes little cats fuck us
around.

That's why I don't like to do cats.

There's so much shit under this bed,
it's impossible to see, you little bastard.

You don't want to fuck the place up too
much, because...

You know, people come home and see everything
fucked up, and the cops are here, and.

..

He's right over here.

Fuck.

We're not doing cats anymore, Ricky.

Come on, let's play.

You little fucker.

Okay, I got him over here.

I got him.

I got him.

I got him!

Let me see him.

You little fuckface.

Just...

Take him out.

Fucking us around, are ya?

Yeah.

Give me some of that.

That's right.

Well, basically, I guess you can say we're
kind of like, uh...

Like, uh... pest control.

Not really a dog catcher or anything like
that, but, like...

Basically, if someone's
got a problem with their

pets and no one else
will take care of it, like...

Because it costs a lot of money.

If you had to go to the SPCA, say,
and have something performed like we do,

it would cost you, like, an arm and a leg,
so...

You know, that's where we come in.

Give me some of that.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing?

I'm having a sip of your drink.

Let go of my drink.

What are you talking about?

Let go of my drink.

Let go.

Give me a drink.

I'm paying for this.

You got three bucks?

I don't have a cent.

You know that until you pay me today.

Well, let go of my drink.

Give me a sip.

Let go.

Let go.

Ricky.

My God.

Get out.

Cover up front.

Hurry up.

That's the subject right there.

Anyway, you guys just wait back here.

I don't want you seeing this.

And I'll give you in a couple of seconds.

Just wait back there by the chimney there.

Ricky, stop fucking around, will you?

Dogs especially can really fuck you
around.

And even cats.

I mean, people bother
them thinking they're

going to be the greatest
pets in the world.

But no, it's not the case.

And once you got them, you got a pet.

I mean, what the fuck are you supposed to
do?

You can't just get rid of it, you know?

No one's going to come and take it.

No one's going to help you out.

So you call us up, and we'll take care of
the problem.

And I'd say we're very reasonably priced,
too, for what we do.

Fuckers.

Three o'clock at the ferry terminal.

And don't be late,
because right now we're

waiting on two other
dicks, and they're very late.

Tens and twenties.

Peace.

Man, there's a fucking guy right there.

You guys the guys?

Yeah, we're them.

Well, you're late.

Couldn't be helped.

What the fuck's going on, guys?

I said one o'clock.

It's almost ten after.

Hey, chill, man.

Had to wait for the old lady to split.

Quit fucking telling me to chill,
man.

Let's get it done.

That's not a problem.

So it's a little poodle.

It's at your house.

How do we get in?

You got to break in and make it look like
you're breaking in a dog got in the way.

Well, if we're breaking in, it's an extra
hundred bucks.

Not a problem.

Not a problem.

I hate to fucking die.

Shut the fuck up, Blanton.

Okay.

Let's do it, then.

Where's the money?

Right here.

So with the extra hundred, it makes three.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What's this shit?

What in the fuck is that?

It's a checkbook, man.

Come on.

Did you say money?

Did you say money?

I don't take fucking checks.

Okay, then fine.

We'll go to a fucking bank machine.

No, no.

Chill.

Let's go to a bank machine.

We'll get it done right now.

Let's fucking go right now.

This is bullshit.

It's about me, man.

Fucking Enrico Suave here.

Fuck.

About me.

I only got four cigarettes left.

Give me a fucking smoke.

You got a checkbook right here.

Come on.

Buy a pack.

Now.

Now.

Now.

You want a little nicer?

I'm sick of this shit.

Get inside.

I'll make sure everything's cool out here.

And I'll meet you inside.

So I'm breaking in again.

Just like the last ten fucking times.

Yes.

You are breaking in again.

And who pays the bills?

Me.

I am responsible for your family,
buddy.

Not you.

Here.

Another one.

You're getting soft, man.

No.

I'm not.

Get in there.

Break in and enter?

That's fucking grade ten shit.

And I'm fucking sick of it.

Fucking alarm system.

Go upstairs.

Take care of the dog.

I'm going to get something in the kitchen.

All right?

I'm fucking pissed off.

Go upstairs.

I am pissed off.

I don't need this shit.

Go upstairs.

I don't need this shit.

Oh man.

I cannot shoot this little dog.

Look at this guy.

Shoot him.

I'm not shooting this dog.

You shoot him.

No.

You shoot him.

You're fucking getting soft.

Who's the boss here?

I don't give a shit.

Who is the boss?

I am the boss.

I shot the last two dogs.

I broke into the house.

I'm not shooting this little dog.

I paid you money at the end of the day to
shoot dogs.

Now shoot the dog.

I'm not shooting this dog.

Yes you are.

I'll be in the car.

Take it.

Do you want to get paid today?

Man.

This is bullshit.

You think I need to pay rent because my
wife won't work?

For fuck's sake.

Nothing personal, all right?

Fuck.

You know, through this business,
we've been doing this for a while now.

I mean, Julie's been
doing it a lot longer than me,

but it seems that every
case is pretty straightforward.

You get a call, you get
the money, you go and take

care of it that day or
the next day at the latest.

And for some reason, Patrick
Lewis and this goddamn dog of his

have been fucking us around
now for, you know, three months.

Yeah.

Right now, the expenses are up to $300.

We're only getting paid $600 for the job.

But right now, it's principal.

I mean, this guy, this guy really pisses
me off.

Okay, we're rolling.

Okay, we're basically looking for him.

He's on his lunch hour.

Hopefully he's...

Oh, my fuck.

He's right over there.

That's him.

Who the hell are you guys?

Ah, fuck.

You're an asshole.

Give us a dog.

Come on, dog.

I'm sick of this shit.

Give us your dog right now.

Give us a dog.

Leave me alone, you dick.

Give me your fucking dog.

Get over here.

Get over here.

Both of you, guys.

Give us a dog.

Can you see this?

Do you fucking see that?

Do you want to get shot?

I'll shoot you and your fucking dog right
here, right now.

Give us a dog.

Put it in the trunk.

Fuck you.

Fuck your trunk.

Put the fucking dog in the trunk.

Fuck, suckers.

Caesar's great.

Awesome.

Awesome dog.

He'll come down and play catch.

He will play it every day.

He's relentless.

He's always going.

Lots of energy.

You're a good boy, aren't you,
Caesar?

Yes, you are.

I'd say we've tried 15 times to fucking
kill that dog and we can't get him.

He fucks us around.

He's always in public places.

He changes his schedule of walking his dog
every day.

We've met up with him a
few times already and he starts

mouthing off at us and stuff,
saying he's not afraid of us.

That's a whole part of the job.

You want to inflict a little bit of terror
into the people that you're after.

Well, there are these two trailer park
dicks who are trying to kill us.

They're trying to kill my dog.

I know that sounds crazy, but they are.

They're trying to kill my dog.

Grab the dog, Ricky.

Listen, buddy.

This is my dog.

Don't.

Ricky, come on.

Officers, these guys, they're trying to
kill my dog.

This man is drunk and he's soliciting us
for prostitution.

That's a lie, buddy.

You're drunk.

This guy comes up to our window soliciting
us.

He's a prostitute.

And he's drunk.

If you check him, I guarantee you'll find
some alcohol.

I don't need this shit.

He's lying.

He's lying, guys.

We don't need this stuff.

We're fucking coming along
here with a camera crew

trying to make a nice video
for some friends of ours.

I don't need this bullshit.

Well, I'll be straight up with you.

I've got a bit of a drinking problem,
okay?

Yeah, exactly.

Check them.

They've got stuff, too.

I think it's probably better that you guys
leave.

But we've got to go anyway.

So if that's okay with you guys,
we're just going to take off.

Officer.

Leave me alone, you dicks.

Can you take care of my hat, sir,
please?

Yeah.

It popped open.

Thanks a lot, officer.

These guys are crass, harassing me.

Hey, I've got a knock-knock joke for you.

Knock-knock.

Who's there, dick?

A fucking drunk idiot that's going to
jail.

Come on, guys.

Okay, guys.

Let's go.

All right.

Thank you.

Search them before they leave.

You fucking asshole.

You fucking dick.

Get out of here.

Stay away from me.

Pay attention here.

What do you got going on here?

Just having a few drinks.

I'm not in the afternoon.

Yeah?

That's what I do, guys.

Well, we're going to take you downtown so
you're going to cool off downtown.

Take me downtown?

Yeah.

We're going to talk about this downtown.

Why?

I mean, I've got a little bit of a history
of, you know, drinking in a public place.

Are you walking or are you drinking?

What are you doing here?

I'm walking.

I'm having a couple drinks.

You're embarrassing yourself in front of
your neighbors.

You're embarrassing yourself in front of
your neighbors?

I was doing nothing until
those two dickheads came up

and friggin' tried to shoot
him and you're doing nothing.

We're going to take you downtown.

We're going to take you downtown.

We're going to talk, we're
going to talk about... Hey, no!

Give me him back!

Come on, take him, take him.

I got him, I got him, I got him,
I got him.

Jesus!

Alright.

You cocksuckers!

Let me go!

Calm down!

You're going to make this worse for
yourself.

I got him, I got him, I got him.

Let me go!

Grab my cuffs.

Alright.

Fuck!

You guys are dicks!

Shut your mouth!

I'm a taxpayer!

And you're saying, gee, Patrick,
that sounds pretty strange.

Why would anyone want to have your dog
killed?

Well, I let him be his natural self,
you know?

This is a $600 job.

That's a big job in this business.

Like, one of the biggest.

Normally it's $150, $200.

So $600 is a lot of money.

All the neighbors chipped in.

I mean, this dog is pooping and peeing on
everyone's lawn.

So I think there's like six
or seven neighbors now that

have all chipped in money,
and they want this job done.

So not only has he been fucking us around
for, you know, three months, we're getting

calls every day from these neighbors
saying, you know, we paid you the money.

This dog is still pooping and peeing on
our lawn.

Poop is biodegradable.

You know, it goes back into the earth.

Helps things grow.

I mean, farmers let their cows poop
anywhere they want to.

So I don't see what's
wrong with me letting

my dog go out and poop
wherever he wants to.

It's kind of like playing on a sports
team.

He's like the team you can never beat.

So, you know, I've bought this.

I've got this now.

And I don't want to use it, but I will.

If I need to, to protect my dog and
myself, I will use it.

Fuck.

I'm fucking tired of this shit,
man.

I can't do this anymore.

That was good fucking ice cream,
man.

No.

Pick that up.

What?

Pick that up.

I'm just fucking putting it there for now.

Don't throw things around in my car.

Put it in your pocket.

Jesus Christ.

What the fuck is wrong with you today?

Huh?

I leave my house in the middle of a heated
discussion with my fucking fiance.

Have to leave my kid there again.

I'm told I'll be gone for two or three
hours.

We both know that's fucking a load of
shit.

I'm going to be gone all fucking day and
night probably as usual.

And now I've got to put up with you and a
fucking bitch.

Bitchy mood.

I'm tired of it.

Why are you bitchy again today?

Do some fucking coke or something,
please.

Fuck.

I'll tell you what you need is a fucking
cigarette.

Here.

Maybe you'll stop being so fucking cranky,
Mr. Quitter.

Light it up for me.

I've just got a few things I've got to
deal with.

Okay, Ricky?

They're kind of personal and I don't want
to get into it right now.

What are you thinking about the little
psychic?

Man, that's a load of shit.

And I'm not saying I don't believe in
psychics because I fucking believe in them.

But a phone psychic?

That's fucking stupid.

Like if you actually went to a shop and
you paid your 50 bucks and you sat down,

they pull out a deck of cards and they
tell you some shit then.

Then that's different.

But a phone psychic?

Come on.

My God, man.

What's wrong with you?

Why would someone tell another person that
they're going to die in five days?

Now...

The call cost me $150 all together.

To me, that is a good psychic.

No.

All right?

It's all about the money.

To me, that's fucking
someone that keeps you on

the phone to fucking
take your money from you.

He wasn't keeping me on the phone.

You're stupid.

I was the one talking to him.

Whatever.

All I'm saying, if it is true, then I've
got some things I've got to deal with.

All right?

Well... And you're
not helping me out any.

Could I have your car?

Would you die in a couple of days?

Don't even start thinking about shit like
that.

Well, if you're going to die, you're not
going to need your car, are you?

Give it to me.

And that's all you want, is my car.

I'm just trying to make a
point that you're fucking stupid

if you listen to a psychic on
the goddamn phone for $150.

You're going to die and you want my car.

Don't even start talking about shit like
this, Ricky.

I'm making a fucking point.

You're not making a point.

You know what?

Don't you have any sensitivity in you at
all, man?

Listen, I fucking love you like a brother,
all right?

Now, don't get into this love shit,
man.

I fucking love you like a brother.

No.

I'm not saying I love you.

Don't get into this.

But I love you like a fucking brother.

And I don't want to see you die.

My wish is that if something does happen
to me, you know, maybe you guys can take

this film and show
it at high schools or

something and, you know,
teach people a lesson.

You know, this is real.

My life is real.

I still like coming down here and hanging
out.

I mean, this is where I
grew up, this is my roots,

but it ain't the same,
that's for damn sure.

I've been gone friggin' two years and
everything's gone to hell.

Do I look like fuckin' Ravine?

Yeah, come on down here, you little
bastard, I'll fuckin' Ravine ya.

Apparently people think I
look like this man they call

Ravine, or I don't even
know who the fuck Ravine is.

Apparently he's this ventriloquist or
psychic or some guy.

And I look like him, which is kinda cool,
people think I look like a famous person.

And that's kinda neat, I
guess, but I don't like all

these little fuckers running
around calling me Ravine.

Ravine.

I mean, I call him Ravine too,
but he calls me dick, so I'm justified,

you know what I'm saying?

I'd rather be called a dick than Ravine.

Me too, man.

Serious.

Not hypnotic, that's for sure.

Hey, look everybody, it's fuckin' Ravine!

Fuck.

What is this Ravine shit, man?

I'm losing it.

Don't worry.

Ricky.

Ravine lives!

It's fuckin' Ravine!

Keep calm.

Keep calm.

Ravine!

Shut up!

Stop fuckin' calling me Ravine!

Ricky, Ricky, Ricky!

Ricky!

He was like 15 years old when he started
growing sideburns and shit.

Everyone called him L as in N.

He looked like Ravine because he tried to
grow this thing here.

He looks like the Wolverine.

He looks like a comic book girl.

It's like Ravine or Wolfman or Jack.

It's the same guy.

Fuck.

Even the kids here call him Ravine and
shit.

I mean, that's how bad it is.

I mean, I understand you're gonna get
bitter and shit, but you know what I mean?

Take it out on the kids and all that.

Ravine is not a bad guy, alright?

Don't worry about it.

Who's likely your father, dipshit?

Hey, Ravine!

Don't fuck it, Ricky.

Get the fuck in here!

Get out here and deal with this,
man!

Close the fucking door!

Close the door!

Close the fucking door!

You fuckin' assholes!

Ricky, shut up!

Alright.

Fuck!

This is a little test, alright?

Oh, I failed.

Are you ready?

Are you ready?

I'm ready to fucking kill those little
fuckers.

You wanna pass this test?

I'm gonna kill those little fucks.

No, see, this is the problem at home.

It has nothing to do with me.

You've got a lot of anger built up inside
of you, alright?

Hey, Patrick Swayze!

See, how does that feel?

How the fuck does that feel?

Yeah, that's a bad one.

Don't worry about it.

It's Patrick Swayze and Ravine!

Did they just call me Patrick Swayze?

Yeah, they did.

It's fucking Patrick Swayze and Ravine!

You little fuckers.

Hey, Dirty Dancing!

Oh, man.

Alright, okay, alright.

He's fucking me around.

Five shots is a little fucking tough,
man.

Hey, man, what's up?

What time is it?

Come on in.

Don't worry about the camera, boys.

Come on in.

I'll pay for it.

What's up, dude?

What's up?

You guys are looking for something.

Hello.

Yeah, we're just... Hey, baby.

We're gonna head out to a party.

No, I'm not.

I told you, I'm not doing that shit
tonight.

I had a couple drinks.

That's it.

No, I'm coming home.

I already called the cab.

Yeah, it's on its way.

Yes, I know that.

Players, light, and milk.

Yeah, I'll be...

Bitch.

What do you guys keep forgetting every
time you come over here?

The time.

The time.

It's nine o'clock.

No.

Money.

Man, I've been trying
to find... No, no, no, no.

Shut up.

Trevor.

If he answers your
phone when I call... Trevor.

Shut up.

So this is the deal, boys.

Car wash.

Lawn mowed.

Tomorrow.

Sir.

Help yourself.

Thanks.

Thanks, man.

Thanks.

Wee.

Thanks, man.

I think your cab's here.

What time you picking me up tomorrow?

First thing.

Be ready.

Two smokes.

Peace, boys.

Peace.

Fucking dick.

The perfect example of Rick and how uncool
he is.

You know, you talk about Halen and he's
like, I like the new Halen.

I like Sammy.

I like the ballads.

And just, you know, I don't think he's
ever even heard Eruption.

I don't think he's heard the first four
Van Halen records.

And that, you know, I'm just not down with
a guy that's like that.

You know, he got a... when they were good
with David Lee Roth.

You guys want a drink?

Yeah.

They think it's cool or something.

I don't know.

They're alcoholics.

They're always drunk and driving.

It's all they do is sit and drink.

It's true.

It's all they do.

Attitudes.

Everybody around here has an attitude.

You go inside the park, people are looking
at me, staring at me, seeing me drinking,

you know.

It's my problem.

I'll deal with it.

And I don't find it is a problem,
so it's not a problem.

Okay?

Don't look at me.

They were always just doing shitty things
to us in the park.

Hanging me off doorknobs
and stuff, giving me wedgies and

chocolate swirlies and
sticking my head in the toilet.

You know, it wasn't even funny.

It was just ridiculous.

They've always been like that.

And I mean, they were losers.

They had kids half their size punching
them in the face, knocking their teeth out.

Kids were selling their teeth in the park.

And it was just... that's the way they
are, though.

Tim Hager is not David Lee Roth.

I love David Lee Roth.

I can't get enough of that guy.

The old Van Halen, that's the stuff that
rocks.

When they were dragging Chit around on the
road with him, in the trailer,

setting up the stage show, blowing
up a concert... Shut up, Trevor.

I've got a story for you.

It's about a five-year-old boy who had a
puppy dog.

His dad comes home drunk one night.

Slips in some dog pee.

Cracks his head on a table.

He goes into his bedroom and takes out his
revolver.

Puts it in his pocket.

Puts it in the boy's hand.

Made him shoot him.

Away it goes.

You guys want a drink?

Actually, I think we're gonna... we're
gonna split.

Yeah, man.

No.

Take off.

Do you want a drink?

Yeah, sure.

Let's go, buddy.

Help me out, man.

I want to see you.

Help me out.

Come here.

I can't play.

I'm done.

You know what, Cees?

Yeah.

I know.

We're gonna come out here again.

Tomorrow night.

We're gonna drink and play catch.

And there's nothing wrong with that,
Cees.

And anyone that doesn't like
that... They can fuck right off!

Trevor.

Trevor, get up.

Corey.

Get up, man.

You guys gotta get out of here.

Get up!

Hey!

Get up.

You guys better be outta here.

Okay, I just want this on film that,
uh.

You see, this is my last day doing this
stuff.

I promise you that I will not be going out
with Julian anymore.

Working.

I'm back and I start a new job on money
and construction, okay?

Like, this is it.

I'm gonna be with you and Trinity.

That's all I want.

You know that's all I want.

Yeah.

Things are gonna be better now.

I promise you that.

When I come back...

Will you please shut the fuck up for one
minute here?!

Jesus Christ!

Anyway, I just, like I said, just one more
day and that's it.

It's gonna bring home enough money to keep
us going until we get things rolling here.

Alright, baby?

Okay.

I love you.

I'll be back in a few hours.

I love you.

Came to a decision last night.

I talked it over with Lucy and this is my
last day, basically.

I'm gonna go do this one last job because,
you know, Julian does need my help on it.

But after today, like, that's it.

I'm done.

I'm not gonna be drinking
anymore and I'm not gonna

do cocaine, like, ever
again and that's it for me.

You know, I'm gonna find a legitimate job
somewhere.

Yeah.

So, Ricky did the right thing.

You know, he got us this place.

But he's still hanging out with Julian.

I really do like the guy.

He's a great guy.

Well, I mean, he's kind of an asshole,
I guess.

And Lucy thinks he's an asshole and he's a
drug addict and a drunk and all that stuff.

But despite all that stuff, I mean,
the guy, one thing I'll say about him,

he's got a mind that it's just,
it's clear.

Like, it works really good.

Like, sometimes I get all messed up and
stuff and people are giving me lists or

they're giving me instructions or whatever
and it doesn't really make sense.

But he's just got this
way, like, he looks at

it in, like, a different
kind of way than I do.

And it just, when he
tells it to me, it's just,

everything's clear and it
makes a lot more sense.

You know, people could learn from me.

All I know is if I go
back to jail again,

like, I think Lucy's
gonna fucking leave me.

And that's fucked.

You know, me and Ricky and Trinity have a
good thing here.

I am not gonna do this again.

Why don't you go to jail?

I am not gonna do this again.

I am not gonna do this again.

I am not gonna do this again.

I am not gonna do this again.

I am not gonna do this again.

I am not gonna do this again.

I am not gonna do this again.

I am not gonna do this again.

I am not gonna do this again.

I am not gonna do this again.

I am not gonna do this again.

I am not gonna do this again.

I am not gonna do this again.

I am not gonna do this again.

I am not gonna do this again.

I am not gonna do this again.

I am not gonna do this again.

I am not gonna do this again.

I am not gonna do this again.

I am not gonna do this again.

I am not gonna do this again.

Don't call me scared.

Don't call me scared.

Well, let's see you fucking shoot
something then, huh?

You wanna see me shoot something?

Alright.

Patrick Lewis.

You wanna see me kill this dog?

Well, you know, considering this is my
last job, it would be nice to fucking

finish off my career with you killing the
fucking dog for a change, like old times.

Well, why don't you fucking go through it,
you pussy?

There's nothing coming!

Oh, for fuck's sake.

What?

What?

Why is everyone fucking with me today?

Huh?

Oh, you little fuck.

You fucking asshole.

I'll fuck with you.

You fucking asshole.

What the fuck are you saying?

Problem here, guys?

You got a fucking problem with us?

You got a fucking problem with fucking
Ravine?

Oh, you fucking cocksucker.

Fuck you.

Oh, man.

Oh, my fuck.

Look who it is, man.

Is that him?

Is that him?

Put your gun away.

There's people everywhere.

Put your fucking gun away.

Put your gun down.

You guys, leave us alone.

Leave him there.

Release the dog, asshole.

Release the dog.

Put the fucking gun down.

Put it down.

Put it down.

Put the fucking gun down.

Where is he?

I don't fucking know.

He's in his fucking tires somewhere.

Do you want to go or do you want me to go?

Fucking go, man.

Cover me.

Cover me.

You all ready?

Fucking shot, man.

Fuck.

Where you at?

Put the gun down.

Somebody's hurt here.

You fucking asshole.

You shot me.

Cocksucker.

Fuck you.

I got to go to the hospital, man.

Six hundred bucks, Ricky.

I'm going to get him.

Get the fuck out of here.

Go.

Go.

Come on out.

Come on out.

Didn't have to go this way.

Get out of here.

You dog, asshole.

Fuck.

Sorry, buddy.

Julie, I need some help, man.

I'm fucked up over here.

You fucking dick.

You fucking shot me.

Fuck.

I can't fucking do it.

Shoot the fucking dog.

Fuck.

What in the fuck?

Jesus Christ.

I've been fucking shot.

Fuck.

You fucking dog.

You fucking shot me.

You know I'm fucked.

So I'm in jail.

Been here for two and a half years.

I can handle it.

It's not that tough.

But I thought I should finish off my
documentary with me being in jail just to,

you know, let people know this is what
happens to you if you really, you know,

if you want to take the path that I have
taken in my life.

And first thing I want to say is I'm
really glad Julian did this documentary.

He got this out in the public for people
to see.

Because I think that's important.

People can learn from this.

But, you know, they played this in the
courtroom.

That basically was our downfall.

If it hadn't been for this documentary we
probably would have only got a year or two.

And that's unfortunate.

It kind of pisses me off, to be honest.

No offense to you guys.

I can't fucking wait to drink.

Through counseling I was told that, you
know, there's nothing really wrong with me.

Counselor says I have a definite problem.

Says that I use alcohol as a vent.

A way that I lose myself.

Well, you know what, I think the
counselor's right.

Basically, if it wasn't for Julian I
wouldn't be here right now.

He's the one that got me into all this
shit.

He was force feeding me cocaine.

And, you know, I guess
my counselors say that

the only person I can
really blame is myself.

I also realized that this
whole psychic thing that I

have, that, you know, I
thought I was going to die.

And that's what the psychic told me.

But what I've come to realize is that I'm
not really going to die yet.

I'm just, my life has just ended for a
little while.

It's been put on pause.

Well, I've taken a couple courses.

I took a, I learned how to tint windows
for cars.

So I could either, you know, start a
business with that or get a job somewhere.

I've only been in prison twice and that's
not that bad.

I mean, most people are in prison a lot
more than that.

So I should be able to get a job.

I've got to stay clean.

Because I don't want to end up back in
here.

Even though it's not that bad.

But, but it is, it's not good.

Julian feels no remorse whatsoever.

I think that if he got out of here
tomorrow, he'd probably go pick up a gun

somewhere and start killing dogs and cats
for money again.

I've made a lot of mistakes in my life.

And I'm paying the price for it right now.

And I, you know, I'm not upset I'm in jail
because I know I did a lot of bad things.

And, you know, I'm not upset I'm in jail
and I broke the law every day.

And I'm paying for it.

Deep down I really believe that this is
all his fault.

And I will never associate with Julian
again.

But, you know, I've really got my shit
together now.

And I think that I will be...

Okay.