Original subtitles

Hey, you!

I'm on to you. I know all about you.

I'm sick to death with people talking about me behind my back.

I'm going to write to the Home Secretary about this.

Lock up! Lock up!

He feels going down all the time. Every day.

Every night.

What's the facts with you?

Put that bastard on the wing and I'll kill him.

Put it down!

Now!

I ought to prove a drugs. Uh, are you going to play Tarzan or not?

Go save.

I won't let you go.

No,

no, no. Give me a chance.

Give me a chance.

I've been brought down here. You stated you were in possession of Semtex. Yes.

I'm going to put a lot of you to smithereens. Now piss off.

Eugene Buffy has got Semtex. Then he should not be in the block. He should be

the FSU.

It's the big boys, then, am I?

It's fine, Semtex, then.

They've all got the ammo. The machine guns.

It's fine, then.

Eugene Buffy reclassified prisoner from Seawing for admittance. Why, Buffy, move

it. The president of Samoa's got an Uzi up his jump back. You're going to

reclassify him, sir?

I've written to Lord Longford, you know, and Judge Tumor, the Home Office, and

the prison services.

I've written to everyone.

I've written to Home Secretary, you know. We're being discussed right now in

corridors of power.

Right, take it easy, go on.

Take it, you ate my arm, man.

Stand there, Buffy.

Eugene, Buffy, transfer him to the wing.

The metal detector?

Only I've got, like, a metal plate in the edge, you know.

Buffy, stand four.

Get stripped, stand by your bunk.

I'd rather prick with the femtech.

Just get on with your business, Mickey.

Oh, well, I'd better keep out of my face.

Hey, as we've not had any rehearsals for some time, I think it would be best

for all... Excuse me! Listen up, settle down.

I think it would be best for all concerned if we had a bit of a...

and Mr Richard Hannam of the local Amateur Operatic Society join us.

When are we getting the women?

Yes, thank you.

Miss Purvis has kindly agreed to continue playing the piano for us, and

be assisted by Miss Samuel. So, when everyone's ready. Now, remember,

there's an intro, so don't come in until Wilfred puts his hand up.

That's yours, Terry.

Proper this time.

I tell you,

maybe this musical could be a... Governor.

Yes. It's the ladies from the operating society.

Ah, hello.

I'm Helen Hewitt, I'm the governor. Hello, I'm Carol Baker, and this is

Sharp. Hello.

Mrs Ellison and Mr Hallam are already here, they're in my office, so if you'd

like to go through, I'll take you into the chapel in a moment.

Officer Brent. This way, please, ladies.

Thank you.

Oh, God, it's been so long.

I didn't think they'd be quite so, um... Attractive?

Well... There'll be some pushing and shoving in the chorus to get close to,

well, at least to the blonde.

Do you need me before I get back to Pavarotti?

Yes.

I know Eugene Buffett's reclassified, but I don't think he's going to fit in

with the heavy mob in the SSU.

I cannot take lightly any inmate threatening to use or have in his

explosives.

want to tell me stays between you and me?

There's nothing, William, me.

Did you miss your pal, Eugene Buffy?

No, I don't.

What are you trying to say?

I'm not a nun.

Well, I'm not okay.

I want to go back to my cell now.

Brian, what are you getting so het up about, man?

I'm not a nun.

I've got three more years.

and I don't want nobody calling me a f***ing nonce. On a tree by a river, a

little pond... What's your language?

If we can't hear what you're saying, and that goes for everyone... What we want

is enunciation.

Right, Miss Purvis? Absolutely, Jumbo. Clear and sharp.

Tick -willow, tick -willow... Tick -willow, tick -willow...

I'd like to introduce Mrs. Ellison, Mr. Hallam, Ms. Baker, I'm sorry, Carol.

Gentlemen, and Meryl.

As from now, as from now, they will be leading the rehearsal.

No, thanks. Well, I am getting tickets for the front row to the purport. There

needs a bit of a laugh around here. They want tickets for the show. That's the

good news. The bad news is they want... Thank you. They want a detailed report

on the tape recording made by Eugene Buffy and Brian Samora.

I'll put the Jason and Harley for finding trouble.

Excuse me, ma 'am.

See what's going on next at Donny's Yard? I can get all the young lads from

Freewind working out.

How is he working out? Darling, yeah. He's signed up for every single

program. Guitar classes, fitness, computers.

You're telling about me again, are you? No, we're just discussing Tarzan. He's

very intelligent, you know. Thank you.

He's got the hang of the word process and he's writing very good short

He's through to the last round of the Kirsten writing competition.

Tarzan? Are you pulling my leg?

Excellent. Our family has been successful.

OK, I'm back to the grind. Is this the, um, Mercado festival? Yeah.

I ran for more and made it up on the graphics program.

There's only one play in Mercado.

The others ain't together.

Samora says there's nothing wrong with him. Well, not medically.

There's just nothing in class, I think.

Yeah, well, I'll have another look at him, but if something is bothering him,

doesn't want to talk about it.

Plus, one of the psychologists could have a word.

A ballad song to snatches. And treat me lullaby.

And treat me lullaby.

Lullaby. No, no, no, no. Look, we've been through this three times.

Can you... It's still sounding throttles. Look, just open your throat

the sound come out, eh? Look, come over here and open your arms wide. Splinter.

That's it, that's it. A wandering

minstrel I, a thing of shreds and patches, of ballad songs and snatches,

and tree...

tight shut.

You want it so powdered, don't you? Yeah, take it.

You're in it now, sunshine, and I'll be watching you. Every move you make, every

breath you take, I'll be watching you.

Who can't you see?

Get the shooter out of the soap powder, you stupid git.

Before I found him.

If you've been sent in here to blab, I'll cut your fucking tongue out of your

khaki flaccid, please. Okay.

You go to her semtex.

What? You find the semtex. I don't know what you're talking about, man. It was

just a joke. If you want to sleep and wake up, you don't see or hear nothing.

All right? Okay.

Oh.

Oh,

two minutes, maybe.

And, um... Could you make me a salad for lunch?

I've got on pounds with your sandwiches.

OK. Have you been to a doctor?

No, no, I'm fine. It just comes and goes. I'm really addicted to this stuff.

All the time, or just in the mornings?

It's just you said you've been putting on weight, and, well, you couldn't be,

you know, could you? Morning sickness, dizzy.

Couldn't be what, Mavis?

Pregnant.

Do you honestly think I wouldn't know?

Besides, I've had a period every month.

Well, then you should see your doctor. This has been going on for a week.

Thank you for seeing me.

Is it about the rehearsal?

No, it isn't.

About a prisoner.

Wilfred Samuels.

I don't know his number.

I know Mr Samuels.

We want to get married.

I couldn't believe it. Just like that, she says, we want to get married. Do

What?

Want to get married.

Oh, my God, you're on the Range Rover back.

Can you stop joking just for a minute? I'm serious.

Do I want to get married?

To you?

Well, not exactly a charring cross, Helen.

Well, maybe I expect you to be asking a more romantic occasion.

My bedroom, our bedroom, we are living together.

You use my car more than I do.

See? You do want the ringer over my back.

You don't want to marry me.

No.

No, I love you, I really do, but... Well, why can't we just keep things the

they are?

Or when I go one step further?

Because I can't.

Not right now.

Okay.

On a recall.

I get these flabby, unhealthy bastards fit.

Keep moving! Look, you exercise, you do it in the yard. Get in your cell now!

Are you stopping me? Yes, I am stopping you.

I'm up for the Coins of the Writers Award. That's got nothing to do with me.

What you do on this wing has got to do with me. And right now, you're going up

everybody's nose is charging round.

It's exercise!

Then exercise in the yard and not on association.

Now get back to your cell.

Get back to your cell, Tarzan. Any more of this and you're going to want to

report.

Don't you ever threaten me.

Let's go.

Bastards.

Smith, I told you, you're still there!

Hey, Brian, should any of these girls sing?

Never mind them.

Cos I'm doing a duet with one of them, and cos I'm playing a woman, I can get

hands on her. What do you think?

Tits willow, tits willow, tits willow.

Get out!

Eric, would you get out!

Eric!

What's the matter with you, Brian?

I know.

Missing your bosom buddy, are you?

Eugene, I hope he thinks he's a big shot cos he's in the SSU.

Oh, shit!

You all right, son?

Yes, Mr Jackson.

Not like you to stay in your cell like this.

I'm all confused,

Mr Jackson.

I've lost my confidence.

Why, has somebody been messing with you?

All right, Brian.

No.

No -one's been messing with me.

If they did, I'd beat them up.

Look, Brian, if you need to talk to anyone, You used to have to say the

Why don't you want to go down to education today?

Is it Tarzan?

When's Eugene coming back on the wing?

I don't know, son.

It was

my

decision to put Tarzan back on the wing.

And he's showing great improvement.

In fact, today I was told he'd got through to the final of the Kessler

Committee. Oh.

Is this his wing?

B and C wing, yes. They're exposed together.

I'd like to congratulate him.

Morning.

Morning. Morning. Can you call Tarzan over? Do you know how many tickets he's

going to leave for the show?

Tarzan! Morning.

Tarzan!

Mr. Tarzan, I'm the area manager of Barfield.

I'm telling you, he picked them up and threw them. I mean, not like that. Like

that!

Hi, Eugene.

You don't fancy some fresh air, Eugene?

No, I want to make a phone call. Sorry, pal, not from here, you can't.

I want to see the governor. You know the rules. Put it on a request form. I hope

you do know the rules, Eugene.

Vernon. What about you, Terry? You're not exercising tonight.

You know, if I write a note down, you see it gets delivered.

Depends, Eugene.

It's just too late to mine on Seawing.

Brian Samore.

I don't want to stay here.

Come on into the yard, Eugene.

I'm playing handball.

I don't want to play handball.

Don't you want to eat lunch, Brian?

Trolley's on the way.

I'm not hungry.

Look, if it makes you feel any better, we'll move in Tarzan now.

I've got to speak to Eugene.

Give me a note.

I'll see you later.

Okay.

Mr. Jackson, hurry it up, will you? I want you down here.

On your way, boss.

Get your nose out of it.

It's only you.

Good luck, Mr. Jackson.

You know that the kids are going to be in court tomorrow. Van will be at

reception early. Got a long way to travel. Now.

We need to clear Tarzan's position to get him to sign for them. You've quite a

lot of gear. We'll fully short -stay with those.

Right. He's probably nipped off. No.

Actually,

he's not got a lot for 27 years, has he?

Here, boss.

Read some of that.

Good stuff.

Library.

Library. See?

Filtered after this from Arthur Nick's libraries.

Not a second.

Eugene Buffy.

That's not a music tape.

A little bastard said they'd got it stashed in a safe place.

Rope's finished.

We've got the poles ready and we're all set.

One call and we'll get transport standing by.

Saddy, isn't it? Be with a wife for the weekend.

Watch this prick.

I think he's here to inform on us.

Lunch is up, lads.

That's okay, Vernon.

I'm having steak today.

Oh.

You hungry, Eugene?

What do you fancy?

Slab of fillet?

Or a piece of chicken breast?

Eugene.

Are you all right?

Hey, Smitty, I'm talking to you, Smitty.

Shut it, you wanker.

Stop talking and keep walking.

Good night, Brian.

Get off the show now.

First night. Nerves. Big day tomorrow.

Are you coming to the show, Mr. Brown? Of course I am, yeah. Hey, Mr. Jackson!

If Buffy's not coming back on the link, then I won't get with Brian.

Jack Vinson's a nervous, stinking thing.

All

right,

Cap 1.

You are going to the showers tomorrow.

Found a second type in Tarzan's cell. Really up in Scar's shit.

Pull out?

Yeah, got the tap lined up. Scar's at the wound up.

Well, the word is, him and his cellmate recorded this. I forget.

Asking them to beat up some con who've been giving them a hard time.

Right.

Looks like Officer Hully is going to trial. And if he gets sent down, can't

him.

Bast. Who wants some chicken?

Cooked up too much? No, thanks.

Got me sandwiches.

You sure?

Money go away.

No take -out?

Take in the shower.

Mind that chicken bone you're taking on. The people choked to death on the

chicken bone.

Mickey! You're still in the showers. Come on.

We thought him out, Mickey. It's getting too close for cock -ups.

What are we going to do?

We're going to deal with it.

We've got two days.

I'm off.

Don't forget your appointment with the doctor tomorrow at four.

What? I thought it'd be okay as you'd be going home to change for the show.

Oh, yeah.

Mavis, could you organise some flowers for Miss Purvis and the operatic ladies?

Will do. See you tomorrow.

Yep. Night.

Too young to

die.

And through all to tell I couldn't help you,

couldn't help me, my friend.

But without you, my friend, I'd be terrified.

You OK, Eugene?

Look, I think it's good.

To Brian Samora.

On Sea Wing. I can't remember his number.

All right.

Well, this is against regulations, you know.

I know.

But I'm not one of these bastards.

I'm a real cat, eh?

I lied about the Semtex. I lied. It was a joke.

Good night, Eugene.

Good night.

Well, Terry, it's been stood in front of that mirror for ten minutes. Still

doing his hair. Getting all ponced up for the dress wear that's on. Hey,

be doing a bit of real cream in an hour.

Percent will be sent to you, Mr Jackson.

Like Old Spice, do you? Yeah.

Three, four, six, where's Brian? Hey.

You're all right, Terry.

Good night, Mr Jackson.

Come on, Brian.

Thanks.

What do you think it's going to look like? What's with the musicals?

Wait,

stop this!

We've arranged a transfer for you, Mr. Knooper.

But we want the names of the men you know to be dealing.

The baron, the runner, and the prisoners you know are being threatened.

What protection do I get?

You'll be out of here.

But first we want the information.

And we'll check it out.

And how are you going to do that, man?

If I give you names and you start docking and diving about, then he's

know that we have a grasp.

You could also give us any name you pulled out of a hat.

You don't get what you want from my information.

You're in charge here, right?

You mean to tell me you can't get me back inside yet?

I wouldn't screw you.

The deal is a deal, right?

You're my kid's life.

Two kids' life.

You've got to get me off this wing beforehand, man, because them men out

will look upon me and they will know, right?

And that'll be me dead or me up until somebody, right?

You understand me?

Please.

Easy. Please.

Gough, can I see you for a second?

You better not be messing us about, Snoopy.

I wouldn't do that to you, man.

What?

Names. Barons. Dealers. Users.

Silly little bastards.

Are you all right?

I'll give him mouth -to -mouth, Cuddy.

We were dead when I cut him down.

Hey, hey.

I'll wait till the police get you.

They found him in the end cubicle.

Does anybody know why, and does it have anything to do with us finding that

bloody tape?

I don't know. Governor Sion said he thought maybe Tarzan was having a go at

but no note, nothing.

I'd better wait for the coroner's report, I suppose. In the meantime, I'd

contact his family.

Sorry, but do you want to cancel the dress rehearsal? Only Mrs Ellison and

everyone at reception. No. Was he in the show? No.

Let it go on.

Better they have something to take their mind off it.

Well, they don't know yet. They were all out of the shower before Jackson found

him. One of the FSU officers brought this. It's from Eugene Buffy.

Say, Brian, I'm being got at in here and they won't let me out. You've got to

write to the Home Office.

Somebody had better tell him before he starts on the grapevine.

Coming, Mum.

Why do all of these curtains still up?

I guess instructions are going to be taken down.

You must have visibility and... Mum, I said it was an invasion of their

Just like they did with the security lights.

Is it? Well, that is a workroom. It is not a sauna. Get them taken down today.

Yes, ma 'am. Eugene!

Could you turn that TV off, please?

Quickly, please.

I'm afraid I have some bad news for you, Eugene.

And I wanted to tell you personally.

I've been expecting it. You know, you've found me with the tape, haven't you?

You're not going to do anything about that, bent screw.

You're all bent, the lawyer.

Eugene, this isn't about the tape.

And the officer involved is going to be charged over that.

I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this.

Brian Zamora committed suicide this morning.

No!

I know he was your friend and your cellmate.

No.

No.

Would you like a cup of tea or something? No, no.

If you'd like, Dr Williams...

No, no.

Keep an eye on him.

Yes, ma 'am.

Good day, ma 'am.

Don't laugh at me.

OK, I'm going now. See you later.

Art department made him up. Correct spelling this time.

Might have to do more than one performance, not got a C left.

God forbid.

Oswald Snooper's on his way, and we've got Keith Smith back for 12 years.

I know. Took the jury less than ten minutes.

I'll see you later.

Where's she going?

Could you put these up in the chapel and take the ones down that are spelled

wrong? Have you booked a ticket?

Are you kidding?

The lads have got three rows.

Oh! And could you take these flowers over that... Leave them at the side of

page. Yeah, well, maybe.

Look.

Right. My ball.

Stick on to yourself, use it.

Yeah.

Now when I talk to you... Oh, yeah, just like that, eh?

Pick off.

I know you're planning going over the wall on Saturday.

He's a nutter. I might.

It's that it should be tonight.

They're putting on a big show.

All the comms and screws will be busy.

What do you want, UG?

You want this stuff down your throat?

No. I want to come with you.

To the matter that you mention, I have given some attention.

And you need more eye makeup, don't you?

It's Roddy, Carol, Roddy.

I'm so sorry, Roddy.

I'll do your eyes and lips.

And Meryl is doing yours, Eric.

Carol, do I need any more makeup?

Uh, no.

But ask Mr. Hallam. He's doing most of the make -up.

Yes. Now then, those of you who are still unsure... It'll all soon be over.

I can't think about it.

I get so upset.

Then don't, because it isn't over for us.

I must run through some of the songs with you.

You're a little bit late turning the pages.

This here is stage right, and this is stage

left. If you're not on stage but waiting in the wings, no talking.

And if you have any quick changes, rehearse them now, because it's your

chance.

Oh, and listen up.

Monsieur, it's gone to get ready for tonight, so I'll get cracking.

This ruddy show.

I've not had time for lunch.

Do you know how many officers are required just for security?

You'll need a hell of a lot more for this.

Oswald Snooper.

I have a list here and you won't believe it.

35 known dealers, five barons, numerous inmates who are under pressure to bring

in cocaine, heroin and crack. Go, go.

Russell Morgan is in with Mavis.

She wants to know if the flowers are in water.

Tell her yes, yes, yes.

Now, can we just get back to this?

If you look at the names, you'll see there's also listed eight offices.

A bit of a panic all round today. We've got this musical.

I can always come back, Mavis.

No, no, no. Gary Marsh look a banana as if he knew you'd been in and not seen

him. Excuse me.

Mrs O 'Connell.

Yes, I'll hold.

You're looking very well, Russell.

How's Nora?

Oh, it's been tough on her.

Maybe even more than me.

Have a fight for a job with the security company.

Oh, that's good.

Yeah.

Edward Stratton, yeah.

It's the photographer I sent you with particulars.

It's to photograph the cat.

for the prison magazine and... Miss Hewitt will be back any minute now.

OK?

I'm in the way.

I just wanted to say thanks for this Simon Lennox.

Very positive. He's a good chap.

Reckons I might get some compensation, so add that to the payout and I might be

OK.

Look who's there.

Hello, Melissa.

It's good to see you.

You look to be very sharp.

How are you doing?

Is she back yet? I'm maybe going to work for a security company.

Well, the service will always have your back, wouldn't they?

Maybe she's cutting it a bit fine. No, Gary, not when my medical record is.

They got me down this fruit and nut. Hey, we maybe have a drink or something,

yeah? No, come on. Hang on, hang on. Let's go up to the lounge.

Some of the lads are up there. We're getting a big dance, my child.

Come on. Would you hold on a moment?

Gary? Yeah? Can you take this? It's something about Tarzan.

What time is she coming back, Mavis?

Yeah, Marshall.

I'm just going to change, Gail.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Right, I'll pass it on.

I don't believe that.

Tarzan has just got second in the Kessler Writing Prize.

What do you want?

Where's the governor? We need more officers to bring in the audience.

How do I know?

She's having her hair done, I suppose.

I've had it all up to here.

We need this like a ruddy hole in the head.

How many months?

Four.

I don't believe it myself. I thought it was food poisoning.

Oh, my God, Helen, all that stuff you've been taking, it won't... I mean, it

can't harm it, can it?

The doctor said it shouldn't, and he says I'm very fit.

I didn't know. I still don't know how I feel.

Shocked? I know I do.

Well, I have to have it. It's over four months.

I just... I feel stupid.

I should have known.

Well, now you do know.

You both know.

So I'm going to try again.

I now formally ask all one and almost a half of you to marry me.

I love you.

I was scared that you... I don't want you to feel, you know, that you...

I want you, Alan.

And I want our baby.

So... no time lucky.

You're free for dinner tonight, Miss Hewitt.

Oh, my God, what time is it? Oh, my God, I have to go. What?

No, I'm serious. It's the show. It's the Mikado. I can't be late.

You want me to drive you? No, no, I'll be fine. It'll be finished by eight and

then I'll come straight back.

One good thing about putting on a show on the Knicks, you've got a captive

audience. Where's the governor? I'm trying to track him down.

Well, you'll have to start it off if you're not here.

But we can't keep them waiting.

I know, I know. Let's get over there.

Bloody me, I'm out there.

I'm going to fall out of that show now.

I've got a hit ring going at me.

Not today, soft lad.

I'm speaking worse here.

Come on.

Is

she

here? No, she's caught in the traffic.

It's all going on over Michelle, yeah?

All right.

Our musical director.

The ninth performance, as requested by everyone

on Seawing, is dedicated to Brian...

Good evening, lads. All right, Bernard.

Lights on or off, Billy?

Ah, go on, then. It's a beautiful bit so very nice. Like you are.

Like you lads have tidied up in here.

Very interesting.

Not this cup again, please.

God, we've seen it six times.

How are you going, Liam?

You all right?

Come on, cheer up.

Yes, mate.

I'm John.

See you, Sam. We'll just walk you along.

Do you have a fella not working out with you? I think it's that workout they

showed me today.

Well, they're flying Pam Anderson in for me tonight, so I'll be all right,

kiddo. Pam Anderson? Well, if she comes along, I might just join you. Well,

there you go. Catch.

Yeah, one down, two to go. Go!

Won't have to wait very long, they said.

Three little maids from school.

Wait! Eugene!

You know what to do, right? I'm going to shoot you. You're the big man, Eugene.

You're the main man, Eugene.

To make the punishment fit the crime, the punishment fit the crime.

to make the punishment fit, the crime, the punishment fit.

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