Original subtitles

Narrator: Coming up...

Don't do it!

Narrator: Will murr be

forced to swallow his pride?

Why is Joe out for revenge?

I'm ready to fight dirty.

I'm ready.

You poked the wrong Italian.

Let's do this.

Narrator: And why will

tonight's big loser be extra

sorry?

Today, we are at

fairway market, clipping

balloons onto unsuspecting

shoppers.

We're going head-to-head,

tournament-style, joker versus

joker, balloon for balloon,

winner take all.

The goal is to keep attaching

balloons one at a time to

customers without getting

caught.

Whoever gets caught loses.

And here they come, best

buds.

So, it's gonna be tit for tat

down there.

Balloon for balloon.

You get caught, you lose.

Here goes murr.

Look at the guys looking.

All right! Sal, you're up!

Sal, sal, you're up.

Oh!

He gets it! You're in, murr!

Back to you, murr!

Back to you, murr.

You got to get her, murr.

You got to get her.

Oh!

She's getting away.

Hurry up.

I got caught in traffic.

You got balloon-blocked.

You're not dead yet.

It's two out of three.

Big blue, big blue, big blue.

Turn around, sal... big blue.

Oh!

Oh, he's got...

oh!

The balloon hit him in the

head, and he didn't know!

Oh, this is interesting, though,

'cause sal did not get caught.

Murr, you're up.

Sal did not get caught.

The thing is, Murray has to get

past him with the balloon and

him not notice.

Oh, here we go. Here we go.

Here we go.

You know what?

I got to prepare.

Sal's preparing.

That's the secret.

You got to be ready with one in

the hand.

It's about position.

Preparation is the key to

everything in life, Joe.

That's true.

Go, Murray.

Here he goes! Here he goes!

Now you're just sidling up next

to him.

Oh, you got caught!

Explain your way out of it!

You're caught!

That's awkward.

Look at sal!

Sal is victorious.

Sal's up.

Whoa.

Whoa!

Whoa!

Murr's in.

Both: Whoa!

Back to sal.

Both: Oh!

She's starting to look like

the house from "up."

This is amazing!

Oh!

Oh, my god!

Murr, your turn.

Murr, you're up.

She's engaged in

conversation.

That's what the secret is.

Sal's going for a double!

Sal's going for a double.

Both: Oh!

You're out.

That's a victory for murr.

There you go, murr.

If you get caught putting a

balloon on somebody's shirt...

you lose.

Joe, how about this guy with the

NASA shirt?

Oh, oh!

He's going for the shirtsleeve.

That's risky.

I think Joe thinks he lost.

You got caught.

If that's the way you want to

play, buddy, let's fight dirty.

I'm ready to fight dirty.

I'm ready.

You poked the wrong Italian.

Let's do this.

Go ahead. You're up.

You know what they say about

that.

You awoke a sleeping Italian

that's awake.

All right, guys, I'm going

way down.

Sabotaged by Joe!

Sorry about that.

Dropped that when you tried

to put the balloon on that lady.

On that nice lady.

Q got caught attempting his.

Yeah.

So, he loses. That's a loss.

Next one takes all.

Oh, my god!

She's got a balloon!

Joe, Joe!

Got a balloon.

I don't know what happened

with that, then.

You got caught, buddy.

You're holding the balloon.

I figured, you had one on

there already.

I might as well put the second

one.

What's this guy doing?

Joe!

Joe goes down!

And q moves on.

Nicely done.

All right, it's winner takes

all right here, one round.

First person to get caught

loses.

Sudden death?

Sudden death.

Oh, he's on a bag.

On a bag!

He's on a bag.

Q has got it on a bag, Murray.

And he's on, he's on, he's

on.

It's in your court.

Oh, there you go.

Two... she's in two.

She's in two.

Oh,

he's right back with a pinky.

Here... oh!

He's not caught!

Not caught!

It's up to Murray!

He's not caught.

No, it's on.

Oh!

He's still there.

Yeah, he's got one.

Murray's got it.

Oh, q answers back.

Five balloons... she's gonna

float away.

Murr, it's up to you, buddy.

You better go.

The second she walks away, it's

over.

Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

Did he get it? Did he get it?

Floated away! Floated away!

And Murray's victory floats off

into the atmosphere.

And

that's how I win!

That's how I win!

Narrator: A totally deflating

loss lands murr, sal, and Joe on

the loser board.

Who the are you?

Today, we're at Sam ash music

store, helping customers shop

for instruments.

While working on the sales

floor, we'll have to do and say

what the other guys tell us.

If you refuse to do or say

any of it, you lose.

Put your flute away.

Joe, the guy by the piano.

What's up, man?

Yeah, that's a sweet sound,

man.

Play right over his shoulder.

Right over his shoulder, Joe,

like you're giving him the

heimlich.

Come on, Joe.

Get your arms around him.

Keep playing. Keep playing.

Play right over him.

Yeah, I hear the difference.

Dance behind him.

I never use it.

Now it's got the funk.

That's it.

Joe, start pointing to your

crotch.

I'll pick on that.

Right.

That's good.

Joe, get eye level with him.

You got four of these guys.

Just look at him and say,

"you want to see a dead body?"

You... real quick, though...

You want to see a dead body?

You want to scope out a dead

body?

How can I help you out, sir?

You'd like to start playing the

harmonica.

Murr, there's a harmonica on

the table.

Look him in the eye...

Say, "watch this."

Watch this.

Put the whole harmonica in

your mouth.

Now give it to him to play.

Go ahead. Try.

Try it. It's not as hard as you

think.

Try it.

Try it. See how it feels.

It was just in his mouth.

God!

Oh, my god.

Now tell him, "welcome to the

world of hepatitis."

Yeah! Say it! Say it!

I would like to welcome you

to the world of hepatitis.

You look the most like a

musician out of the four of us.

Right.

You are killing that slide

whistle right now, man.

I just want someone to slip

on a banana peel so I can be

like...

Q, go up to someone with that

rain stick from behind.

Poke them to see if they need

help, with the rain stick.

Got this girl on the left in

white.

Do you need help with

anything?

I'm fine. Thank you.

If you need anything...

You're the guy to see?

I'm the guy to see.

Yep, yeah.

I'll keep it in mind.

Keep it in mind.

Q, the guy with the bongos.

Oh, you do music?

Oh, you do music?

Yeah.

Cool, bro. I do music.

Mostly all of them.

I dabble a little bit in a

little bit of everything.

Q, mispronounce every

instrument.

"Piamo."

I play a lot of piamo.

Real good with the "saxobone."

I like to play "bass" every once

in a while.

You know...

Let's jam out some bass.

There he is.

Nice shoes, dude.

Nice earring.

What's that?

I'm establishing credibility.

What?!

As what?

Yeah, I'm a musician.

You know, I'm eccentric like

that.

Oh, my god!

What are you doing?

Over there... the guy talking

at the pianos.

He's at the pianos.

We brought in our friend

Casey.

Yeah.

Who's gonna be assisting sal

out on the floor.

Unbeknownst to sal.

Right.

He's gonna b be giving him a...

Confidence booster.

There's no pedal.

You know why fish don't make

good musicians?

Do you know why fish don't

play piano?

I give up.

'Cause you can't "tuna fish."

'Cause you can't "tuna fish."

All right, sal, did you hear

about that musician that got

arrested?

Did you hear about that

musician that got arrested?

She got in "treble."

She got in "treble."

Cowboy hat, cowboy hat.

How are you, sir?

Welcome to the drum section.

I'm gonna tell you to beat it.

You can hang out in the drums

for a little while longer, but

after that, I got to tell you to

beat it.

I saw this girl in here

earlier.

She was really "saxy."

This girl in here earlier...

She was so "saxy."

She gave me a "tromboner."

She gave me a "tromboner."

I don't work hard at it.

Trust me.

What's better than roses on

your piano?

What's better than roses on

your piano?

"Tulips" on your organ.

"Tulips" on your organ.

You guys are "guitar-Ted."

Narrator: All the jokers hit

the right notes.

So, murr, sal, and Joe are tied

on the loser board.

Do you guys remember our

music teacher, who used to play

records backwards?

I specifically remember it.

He played a record backwards,

and it said, "Satan is good."

Yeah.

Did it?

Yeah.

It was a stretch.

It was like...

Satan is

good!

Today, we're playing dress-up

out here in the park.

And we picked out a very

specific item of clothing for

each other to wear.

The goal is to get a

compliment on that item without

directly asking for it.

If you can't get a

compliment, you lose.

Wear your Sunday best, boys.

Joker vs. Joker challenge.

All: Oh!

Oh, snap!

And there they are... these

boots.

Yeah, look good, man.

Look at this guy.

Stretching out... stretching

out the leather?

Stretching out that leather!

Yeah, peacock, baby.

Feeling great.

You're rocking those boots,

bro!

The red ponytail.

Eyes to boot... just made

contact.

Eyes to boot.

That's so weird.

It's so hot today.

I wasn't expecting it to be this

warm.

She's looking at your boots,

though.

She's looking at your boots.

I would have dressed

differently.

Uh-huh.

Those must be hot.

They must be what?

Containing a lot of your body

heat.

Heat, yeah.

I like the style, but it's

definitely not for this type of

weather.

Does not like them.

She's doing the big nods but

still doesn't like them.

But it's almost like some

days when I get dressed, it's

like not even me putting the

stuff on myself.

Who's putting them on?

Sometimes you get influenced

by friends and their styles and

stuff.

The buckle's here, and you can

kind of cinch it tighter if you

want.

All good... still don't like

them.

So, these are my boots!

Good for you.

Good for me?

Yeah.

Well, I mean, I like them.

And that's the blankest look

I've ever seen anybody give

anybody in my entire life.

They're, uh...

You seem to be insecure about

them.

You seem to be fishing for a

compliment.

I mean, do you enjoy wearing

them?

I do. I do.

Then...

Yeah. I like them.

You know?

I like them.

Does someone not like them?

I don't know.

I would not wear them.

My boots should get walking.

Your boots should get

walking.

Yeah.

There he is.

It's "Murray the kid."

Why am I wearing two things?

Don't worry, bud.

You only need a compliment on

the buckle.

You know what?

If Murray gets a compliment,

this is the kind of thing that

that'll become his new look.

He's like, "well, people liked

it, boys."

So, this guy right here on your

right?

It's a hell of a day, huh?

Yeah, it's nice.

You from these parts?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Queens?

Oh, yeah.

I love how Murray's trying to

talk like a cowboy.

He's seen one cowboy movie

ten years ago.

"Toy story."

What are you doing?

I just like to get a little

rhythm going, you know?

Mm-hmm. What do you play?

What's that?

What do you play?

You know, mostly this.

They got some nice belt

buckles in there.

Oh, yeah?

Over there they got them?

Big ones.

Big ones.

Nice ones.

Like mine?

Yeah, bigger than that.

Bigger than this?

Mm-hmm.

'Cause that's kind of my

thing.

Your buckle's nice.

My buckle's nice?

Yeah.

All: Aw!

Take care, my man.

You, too, brother.

Narrator: Sal gets the boot.

So, he's tonight's big loser.

Sal is our big loser and the

most apologetic out of all of

us.

So, today we're putting him

to the test with the...

All: "No apology" gauntlet!

You, my friend, are gonna

have to run the gauntlet,

stopping at these signs, where

you'll find the awful tasks that

you have to do to people.

You can say anything you

want, except "I'm sorry."

I'm sorry I ever met you

guys.

Let the gauntlet commence!

♪ Da da da da

ready?

No apologies.

Here we go.

That's something you

apologize for.

"Oh, sorry.

I'm so sorry."

Of course you apologize.

This is america.

This is extremely hard,

specifically for sal.

Yes.

He apologizes for everything

in his life, just 'cause it's

such a mess.

Here he goes.

How do you feel inside right

now?

Nervous, very, shaky at best.

All right. Stop number two.

Okay.

Oh, my god. Oh, my god!

Woof at a baby.

Woof!

Waah!

Woof!

Which is to say that their

baby is less than

stellar-looking.

That's number two?

We stepped it up.

It's a "no apology" gauntlet.

Oh, my god.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

He's getting it out now,

getting it all out.

You're gonna need it for

this.

This one, buddy.

You're welcome.

Here we go.

Woof, woof!

I can't.

You can't do it?

Come on. You have to do it.

Guys, I can't.

Sal, honestly, if you're

having this much problems, I

don't know how you're gonna get

through the rest of the

gauntlet.

There you go.

Oh. Hey!

Woof.

God!

Oh, my god.

Yeah, that's it, man... woof.

"No apology" gauntlet continues.

"Sneeze"...oh, god.

Guys.

How do you sneeze on someone and

not say you're sorry?

You got to do it.

You got to do it.

Ah-choo!

Wow!

I can't do any more.

You're doing all right.

You only got two more.

"Blow an airhorn..."

Right under the sign there,

there's an airhorn.

Me.

I'm gonna get punched in the

face.

I hope so.

Here he goes.

Get it. Get it.

Oh, my god.

You

wow!

He's not sorry.

Evil idiot!

All right, man.

Only one more stop on the train,

buddy.

Here we go. Here we go.

"Give an old woman the mid..."

Oh, my god!

You know what?

You guys are

they deserve middle fingers,

too.

Just 'cause they're old?

What am I gonna do?

I'll show you, buddy.

Look. It's this.

That's it.

There you go.

You got it? Okay.

Ooh, man.

I got the chills right now.

You get through this last

one, you're done!

That's it, man.

Here she comes! Here she comes!

Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

You got to do it.

You got to do it.

Aaaahhhhh!

Oh, man!

You did it!

You won, buddy.

Oh, my god!

Not even I would do that!

That's somebody's grandmother,

you dope.

You don't give an old woman

the middle finger.