All language subtitles for Royal.Pains.S02E03.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-ViSUM_track3_[eng]

- previously on royal pains...

- you let a billionaire
Hospital trustee die

To save some kid
Off the street.

- I made a judgment call.
- you made a mistake.

- this trip is gonna
Get you back on your feet.

- what trip?
- to the hamptons!

- stay in my guest cottage
For the summer.

- this thing you have,
It's genetic.

- quite fatal.

- I'd like to start making
Some calls.

Dr. Marisa casseras.

- you don't want your dad to see
How far you've come?

- when my mom got sick,
He just walked out on us.

What you did was gutless
And pitiful.

- in the last three days
I found the most wonderful man.

- hi, boys.

- you are gonna love
The new script.

We've really dimensionalized
Your character.

Fleshed out his backstory,
Given him a girlfriend.

- I have a girlfriend?

- beauty and the beast.
It's timeless.

- I'm guessing I'm not
The beauty.

- [chuckles]
Plus, the girlfriend will

Really shore up
Our female demographics.

- but I live in a landfill.
- used to.

Now you live in miami.

This isn't the minor leagues
Anymore.

- it sounds great, but I'd like
To run it by faith.

- hi. I am so sorry
I'm late.

I forgot the name
Of the restaurant.

Oh, is that
The shooting script?

- hot off the presses.

- I have a girlfriend.
- in a landfill?

- miami.

- you are going to love this.

- we'll see
When I read the script.

- [chuckles]

So how long will you be
In the hamptons?

- a week.

- oh, then you must come
To a party

That I'm having
On saturday.

- we'd love to.

- oh, great!
This is so exciting.

It's my son bowen's birthday--
He'll be 11.

He is your biggest fan.

- terrific.

- uh, okay, well,
I'll let you two

Take care
Of the business stuff.

- oh, donald, a question.

Do you travel
With your costume?

Because I'd love it
If you could come in character.

- sure. Love to.

- oh, fantastic.

Thank you, sweetheart.

[police siren burst]

[siren burst]

- license and registration,
Please.

I saw you weaving
While you were pulling out

Of the restaurant
Parking lot.

You have any drinks
While you were in there?

- just diet cola.

- you want to step out
Of the vehicle for a second?

[warning bell dinging]

And, um...
Step over to the curb.

All right, I'm gonna give you
A field sobriety test.

What I'd like you to do
Is take

Nine heel-to-toe steps
Towards me.

All right, sir,
I want you to stop.

- my legs.

- sir, I'm not gonna
Ask you again!

[electricity crackles]

- I hate having
To hitch a ride.

- why are you having lunch
With newberg anyway?

- look, if eddie's gonna
Be around

And get tangled in our lives,

I can't control it,
But I can warn her.

- so you're choosing our client
Over our dad?

- exactly.

- I just don't understand why
You have to say anything at all.

What the hell is that?

- yeah, I need backup.

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
What do you think you're doing?

- he's suffocating.
- he's a doctor.

- look, you have to
Uncuff him now.

- no, I'm not letting
Mongo loose.

- look, he's got
Positional asphyxia.

The only thing he's trying
To get at is some oxygen.

Please.

It's gonna be all right.
I got you.

Evan, help me
Roll him over now.

Let's go.

There you go.
There you go.

- oh, my god,
It's the garbage collector!

- deep breaths.
Deep breaths.

- that's the garbage
Collector.

Oh, my god!
- let's get him up.

Let's get him up.
- how?

- [grunting]

Oh, boy. Oh, boy!

There you go.
Are you okay?

- [breathes deeply]

- that's it.
Slow, deep breaths.

- oh, my god, I'm
A humongous fan of yours.

Humongous--forever.

Like, I've seen every one
Of your movies.

I read the interview
With fangoria last month--epic!

- you want a picture,
Don't you?

- I would love--
Well, I mean,

Yeah, I would love
A picture.

- all right.

- oh, my god.

Okay, here you go.
- no.

- just ple--
All right.

"Cheese" on three.

One, two, three...
Cheese!

[the blue van's independence]

*

- * my independence went away

* I didn't listen
When it said *

* rely on yourself

* trusting someone else

* is a path
For the silent ghost *

- garbage collector I
Cost, like what--

Like 100 grand?

It grossed $80 million.
80 million!

You must have made a killing
Off that, right?

- evan, would you please...
- what?

- I got paid $700
For three days' work.

- what?
Are you serious?

- I didn't have any lines
In the first one.

I mean,
I wasn't complaining.

It was better than being
A bodyguard.

- arnold schwarzenegger's
Bodyguard.

Right? Arnold schwarzenegger?

- right.
- that's so cool.

By the way,
Garbage collector iv,

The last one--
By far the best one--by far.

It made garbage collector iii
Look like garbage collector I.

- what does that even mean?

- how much do I owe you,
Doc?

[camera clicks]

- I think we can
Call it even.

- [chuckles]

- mm...

I shouldn't have eaten
That cake, hank.

I should have just applied it
Directly to my thighs.

- [chuckles]

Okay...

So this is, uh...

This is a little awkward
For me.

- hank, I'm not trying
To replace your mother.

- what? No, that's--

Your father is
A wonderful man,

But we're just dating.

Though he is hard
To resist.

Did you know he's
Bringing sexy back?

- I wasn't aware
It had left.

But you should know--
- he's not after my money,

If that's what you're
Worried about.

- well, I--

- he told me all about
His financial problems.

How he borrowed money
From you,

And he was embarrassed
When he paid you back late.

- he told you all that?
- we have no secrets, hank.

Well, maybe I kept
One or two.

- yeah, he may have also.

- you know what?
My last name is reserved.

- would you excuse me
A second?

- I don't know how
I can make it clearer.

That table is reserved
For someone else.

- yes. And let me make this
Very clear.

I don't get that table,
I'm talking to your manager.

- uh, is everything
Okay here?

- yeah. Hi, hank.
- hi.

- I heard you were
Having lunch over here,

And I thought maybe I would
Join you for coffee.

I was asking for
An extra chair.

- I've got a busy day.
I'm gonna get going.

Thanks for meeting me,
Ms. Newberg.

So great to see you.

- what are you going to do
With that?

- I want to send this
To a lab in the city

To look for newly identified
Gene mutations

That could be pertinent
To your situation.

- and if they find them?

- well, then, we'll know
Which direction to head in.

There are a number of places
Doing good work in this area.

Open up, please.

U.C. San diego, berlin,
Buenos aires.

- how strangely refreshing.

- there's one study by your
Research contact in cuba,

Dr. Casseras, that seems
Particularly promising.

But I've had a difficult time
Reaching her.

- yes.

- okay, well, I'll let you know
As soon as I hear back.

- all right. Thank you,
Hank.

[knock on door]

- oh, my god, that's him.

That's crazy, he's at my house.
Okay, try not to gush.

- uh, I don't think
I will.

- I was talking
To myself.

This is awesome.
This is awesome.

- hi.

- hello.

- just as you described.

- uh, evan r. Lawson.

I'm the cfo of hankmed, llc.

- oh. Faith n. Green, esquire.

Ceo of garbage collector
Productions, llp.

- wow. Welcome.

- I believe you've met
Donald?

- yes, we have met.

Hello, sir. How are you?

- how you doing, man?
- welcome.

- hey, donald,
Good to see you again.

- hey, doc.

- this is divya katdare,
My physician assistant.

- ma'am.
- so how can I help you?

- well, his knees and lower legs
Have been feeling weak,

He gets a tingly feeling
In his feet,

And his balance is
Occasionally off.

I'll shut up now.

- how long has this
Been going on?

- two to three months,
Give or take.

I mean,
It comes and goes.

- yeah. Thank god
He has

An insurance physical
In two weeks,

Otherwise he'd never agree
To see a doctor.

That's absolutely the last thing
I'll say.

- faith, why don't you and I
Step outside for a sec?

- sure.
- just for a sec.

- I think that's
A good idea.

Why don't you come
Into my office.

- whoa.

He's gonna be fine.

Okay?
I promise you.

He's in really good hands
With my brother.

- thanks. God. There's just
So much going on right now.

He's under such stress.
We both are.

- well, the hamptons
Is a pretty good place

To reduce stress.

- is it?
I've never been here.

- really?

- maybe you'd be willing
To show me the sights.

- willing and able.

- great.
I mean, if my brother's okay,

And our schedule is clear.
- what's that?

- donald is my big brother.

You knew that, right?

- I hope
You're messing with me.

Because,
Short of a white snake reunion,

That might be
The most frightening news

I've ever heard.

- oh. Is everything okay?
- yeah.

They just ran some tests.

- yeah, I'll let you know

As soon as we have the results.

In the meantime,
No mayhem,

No killing bad guys
Or whatever.

- no, we have no mayhem.
We have nothing on our schedule.

In fact, evan was going
To show me the hampton sites.

- yeah.
She asked me.

Just because you guys...
Oh.

- I think you should take her
To a nice restaurant.

- yeah.
- where a gentleman

Would take a lady.
[cracking]

- we have a lot in common,
You know.

We both work
For our brothers.

We both have
Professional degrees

In fields we're not using.

And we both think
You're cute.

- true, true,
And true.

- oh, well, last year,
You know,

Between being on location

And personal appearances

And donald can't say no
To anyone,

We were on the road
For 39 weeks.

- whoa.
- I know.

- you must get exhausted
With all the flying.

But you're getting points,
Though, so that's good.

- oh, no, we drive
Everywhere.

- what? No wonder you're
On the road for 39 weeks.

- well, flying is not too comfy
For donald.

When he's in row 21,
His feet are in row 19.

- you know what, I'm gonna
Make you a hankmed travel kit.

It's something
I throw together

For clients
Who are always on the go.

- that is so sweet.

- it's just a bag
Full of trinkets.

Are you okay?

- oh, yeah.
Sorry, I'm fine.

I'm just so used
To being the caretaker

That, when someone
Does something for me...

- well, I'll tell you what,
Faith,

If it makes you feel
Any better,

You can pay for dinner.

You can pay
For the whole thing.

- you know,
Traveling so much,

You rarely meet good guys,
And when you do,

It's--you're off
To the next town.

- hmm.

- oh, they're just vitamins.

Being on the road
As much as we are,

You do what you can
To stay healthy.

- yeah.
Of course.

Big ones.

- so I'm really out of practice
With this whole dating thing,

But you want to get
Out of here?

- now?

We just got our dinner.
- oh.

- you haven't
Even touched yours yet.

- yeah, well,
I recently lost some weight,

And I feel so much better,

And I just plan
On keeping it off.

- okay.
Okay.

- this is nice,
Isn't it?

- yeah, it is.

[cell phone beeps]
- oh.

I'm sorry.
I have to get this.

- yeah, yes.
Of course.

Henry, mayday,
Mayday.

You need to call me
In five minutes

And pretend
That it's an emergency.

Yes, I'm completely serious.

Call me in five--
Henry?

- [sighs]
I'm so sorry.

- no, it's okay.

- where were we?
- where were we?

- things have really changed for
Donald and me this last year.

Do you know how many weeks
I was on the road for?

- 39?

- yes, exactly.
- it was lonely too.

You rarely meet any good guys,
And when you do...

- [laughs]

- what?

- we just had
This conversation, right?

We just had
This exact conversation.

You don't remember that?

- [laughs]

- sorry about the shoe thing.

Arnold's letting me use
His house for the week,

And he's really finicky
About that sort of thing.

- hey, don't want
To make arnold mad.

- right.

- so all your tests
Came back negative.

Except you're slightly anemic.

- is that causing
The weakness in my legs?

- oh, not by itself.

You don't have
An iron deficiency anemia,

And your sodium
And potassium levels are fine.

Donald!

- what?

- hi.
- hey. What's up?

- I was in the area,
Thought I'd stop by

And say hi
To my friend jill.

- and?

- does there have
To be an and?

And do you know
Where there's an mri machine

Big enough
For a seven-foot-tall,

500-pound patient?

- wait. The garbage collector's
Your patient?

- yeah. How--

- hank, I love
The garbage collector.

I have the entire dvd box set.

- so do you know where
There's a large mri machine

I can use?

- uh, well, it's a bit
Unorthodox, but, yeah.

- do you want to tell me?

- I don't.
But I'll show you.

I saw the first trash collector
At fear fest.

I had nightmares
For six months.

- thank you.
- and in one, I dreamt

That I went
To the orthodontist,

And he gave me trash teeth.

How do you even talk
With those?

- I have ten different sets
Of teeth.

Some for long shots,
Some for closeups,

And then some
For talking.

So it's a horse mri.

- sorry about this.

- don't be, jill.

I've had to live
With being big

My entire life.

As a kid,
I was growing so fast,

For entertainment,
My parents used to stand me

In the middle of the room
And just watch me grow.

- [laughs]

- okay.
I guess we should go in.

- come on, let's go.

[cell phone rings]

- okay, so it's not baseball.

Remember?
Just tap it.

Just get it over the net.

[cell phone rings]

- are you gonna
Finally answer that?

- no.
I already know who it is.

[voice mail chime]

It's this girl.
She's really cute, actually.

She likes me.
But she has a brother

Who's the size
Of trump tower,

And I suspect
He wants to kill me.

- well, you know,
That's the lawson curse.

- oh, yeah?
- when you're wildly desirable

To women,
That's the cross you gotta bear.

- lawson curse.
- all right.

Coming at you.
- [exhales]

So it's good.
It's a homerun.

Yeah.
- hey, pal, can you help me out?

The guy at the gate
Said make a left at the topiary.

What the hell is a topiary?

- a topiary,
That's a shrub or a tree

Trimmed into decorative shapes.

- look, I just gotta drop off
Some medical supplies

And get on with my route.

- oh, yeah, that's my son,
The doctor.

I'll sign that.

Thank you.

- what's the name?
- eddie.

- hi, evan.

Oh!
Oh, no, evan.

- hey, faith.
So you're--you're alone.

Um, how--
What are you doing here?

- oh, donald has
An appointment.

- oh.
He has another appointment?

- another?
- yeah, he was here yesterday.

Friday, right?

- [exclaims]

Oh, no, it's saturday.
The party.

Okay, I have to get
To further lane.

Do you know where that is?
- uh.

[chatter]

- [laughs]

- it's mature.

Maybe let
Some of the other kids go.

- it was my turn.
What's with the 910 text?

What does that even mean?

- it's not quite
A 911 emergency,

But it's close.

- so that's why you got me here?
- yeah.

Hank, please, you need
To run interference with faith.

Okay? She keeps conveniently
Forgetting things

To get what she wants,
Which happens to be me.

Hey!
- oh, hi.

- hey, faith.
- yeah, she's crazier

Than glenn close on easter.

Okay, I'm s--
Talk to her.

See for yourself.
- okay, are you--

Are you familiar
With the hubble telescope?

- yeah.
- it's the most powerful

Telescope in the world,
Right.

I mean, it can actually see
Into distant galaxies.

- yeah.
- if I were using

That telescope right now,

I still wouldn't be able
To discover

How little I care
About your problem.

- okay.
I'm begging you here.

Please. Please.
Her brother's here.

- donald's here?
- yeah, he's in the cabana.

He's doing something
For the kid's birthday.

- oh.
- I just--look.

I'll prove it to you.

Okay, I will prove it
To you.

Give me five minutes
To make the clock go cuckoo,

We're out of here.

- five minutes.

- five minutes,
We're out of here.

Don't forget to get
A gift bag on your way out.

- hey, hank,
Did you know

That your brother
Is the sweetest person

In the world?

- well...
- I get so lost around here,

And he offered
To drive me.

He is my knight
In shining armor.

- that's nice.
Nice to see you, faith.

You guys look cute
Together.

- did you tell him to say that?
- [laughs]

- uh, donald?

Hey.
- hey.

I've never had
A groupie before.

- uh, yeah, no,
I'm actually here

Because my brother sent me
A 910 text.

Don't ask.

How's the hand?

- not bad.

All things considered.

- yeah.
Looking good.

Is all this supposed
To scare the kids?

- yeah.
Why?

- I don't know.

The kids out here,
They're, you know,

They've kind of seen it all,
So...

- [sighs]
That doesn't bode well for me.

- no.

- unless...

- unless?

- okay, everybody.

Pay attention.
Hands up.

Put your hands up.
- okay.

- okay, kids, gather round
All over here.

Gather round.
Hands up.

Okay, good job.
Good job.

Now is everybody
Ready for the big show?

All: yes.

- are you excited?

All: yes.

- ready!

- [roars]

[roars]

[roars]

- yeah, this is not going
So well for him.

- no.

- you threw that recyclable

In the wrong container.

- uh, yeah,
I guess I did.

- it's people like you

That are ruining
This planet.

- oh, yeah?

Well, what are you gonna do
About it?

- [laughs]

What am I gonna do
About it?

All: trash him! Trash him!

Trash him!
Trash him!

Trash him! Trash him!

Trash him!
Trash him!

- oh--okay.
All: trash him. Trash him.

Trash him.
Trash him.

Trash him.
- hello.

You're not gonna even try
To help?

- hey, are you familiar

With the hubble telescope?

- it's time to take out
The trash!

[laughs]

- oh. Oh.

Uh...

Donald?

[groaning]
Oh!

Weren't you supposed
To gently place me

In the trash can?

- hank, I can't feel
My legs.

- [groans]

I think I'm suffering from
Post-traumatic donald disorder.

Okay, what are you doing?

I'm putting together
A hankmed travel kit for faith.

- she gets a bobblehead?

You either really like her
Or really don't.

- [laughs]

I'm trapped.

I can't do anything with faith
Because of donald.

And I can't not do anything
With her

Because, well,
Because of her.

It's just--it's your classic
Existential dilemma.

- yeah, I don't think
You know what existential means.

- no, I know what it means.
- I don't think you do.

- I've been thinking
About pulling a will together.

Um, I leave everything
To you,

But since
I don't actually own anything,

You just get the will,

So does that interest you
At all?

- no, it doesn't.

Where'd these come from?

- well, you see,
When a mama box

And a papa box--
- really?

- delivery guy brought it.

- I didn't order
Broad-spectrum antibiotics,

And if I did,
I wouldn't use this many

In a year.

They're from germany,

Addressed to boris.

- [shouts]

[shouts]

[shouts]

[shouts in german]

- sorry to interrupt.

Both: [speaking german]

- hank, what can we do
For you?

- well, I was a little surprised
To find

Costco-sized boxes of cefixime,
Doxycycline,

And azithromycin
In my living room.

- oh, yeah, I imagine
You would be

Since they weren't meant
For you.

[shouts]

- someone give you a heads up
On the apocalypse?

Can you tell me

Why you had those medications
Sent to your home?

- they're not
For my personal use, hank.

So they shouldn't concern you.

What should concern you
Is that an edward r. Lawson,

Your father,

Seems to be making himself
At home in my home.

And apparently
He particularly enjoys

The shadow pond tennis courts.

Since that's where he signed
For the medications himself.

- he signed for them?
- yeah, as simply "Eddie."

It would seem the lawson is
Now implied around here, yeah?

- it won't happen again.

- I consider myself
A hospitable man, hank,

But my hospitality
Has its limits.

- I said
It won't happen again.

I'm your doctor.

My personal life
Doesn't concern you,

Especially not my father,
So, please, stay out of it.

- remind me again.

What do we know
About edward lawson?

- hey.
- hi.

- these are for you.

They're freshly baked.

- oh.
- they're tate's.

Local delicacy.

- yeah, freshly baked there.

- would you mind hiding them?

I don't want faith
To see them.

- why?
Is she a diabetic?

- no, she went on a serious diet
A few months ago.

I'm really proud of her,

But I try not to leave around
Food that might tempt her.

- okay, well, I would never want
To do anything to tempt her,

So I'm just gonna go and find
A place to stick these.

- I could think of a place.

I'll go check on faith.
- okay.

So your spinal tap
Came back negative

For encephalitis
And multiple sclerosis,

Which is great,
But now I'm stumped.

- isn't there, like, a no-stump
Clause in your contract?

- well, that's
Why there's specialists.

I have some calls out.
I can set it up with faith.

- I just hope
The word specialist

Doesn't freak out faith
Too much.

- well, if it does, there are
Specialists for that too.

- evan, something happened
Today,

And I really need
To tell someone.

- oh, um, maybe you should tell
Your brother.

- oh, I can't.

- okay, well,
If you can't tell him,

Then, by all means,
Don't tell me.

- I got offered a job.

- do you not hear anything
I say?

- it's at this great
Environmental law firm

Back in our hometown.

- faith,
If you're a lawyer,

Why aren't you
Practicing law?

- oh, well,
I finished law school,

Passed the bar,
But before I could get a job

At a firm,
Donald asked me to work for him,

You know,
And I couldn't say no.

- yeah, I have that same problem
With him.

- when we were young,
He was so sensitive

About his size.

And even though he was playing
Varsity football

In the sixth grade,
I wanted him to feel

Like he was
Still a normal kid.

I spent my life
Taking care of him.

- you may find this
Hard to believe,

But not too long ago,

My life was parties,
Women, and cash--

Parties I couldn't get into,
Women I could never date,

And cash I never had,
But, yeah, it was bad.

I was lost evan.

I didn't know it
At the time,

But I was.

And then hank's career went down
Like the hindenburg,

And things started looking up.

We moved out here,
And everything changed.

- no more lost evan?

- yeah,
But I didn't find myself

And attain evan r. Lawson,
Cfo of hankmed status

Until I moved in
With my brother, okay?

I feel like
You're not gonna find yourself

Until you leave yours.

Tell donald.

I don't want to be there
When you do.

- [laughs]

- but tell him.

- [sighs]

Wait here.

I forgot
To take my vitamins.

- yeah.

- um,
And for the record,

I really like found evan.

- hey.
- hey.

- what are you doing here?

- donny invited me.
- donny?

You call him donny?

- he told me
To call him donny.

- so you guys are just
On a donny basis now?

- [laughs]
Wait, are you jealous?

- no--I don't know.
I don't know.

Maybe I don't like seeing
Other guys make you laugh.

- ah.

- especially not ginormous ones
Like that guy.

- so only you
Can make me laugh?

- yes.
- [laughs]

- I rest my case.
- okay.

Look, I get it.

I am sure I wouldn't enjoy

Watching another woman
Make you laugh.

And I wouldn't want to see you
Laugh with another woman.

- or call her donny.

- [laughs]
That really bothers you.

- yeah, a little bit.
A little bit.

- I'm sure you can call him
Donny too.

All you have to do is ask.

- yeah.
Excuse me one minute.

- well, I didn't mean now.

- hey, you want me
To man the grill?

- that's kind of a personal
Question, don't you think?

- well, I just thought--
- I'm fine.

- that grill won't give you
The same gentle, pillowy cushion

That my torso did.

- if you wanna help,
Here.

Dinner's done.
Carry this to the table.

- you have any food
For us?

- [laughs]
Wise guy.

Hi, jill.
- hey.

- thanks for coming.
- hey.

Thanks for having me,
Donny.

- anybody see faith?

- yeah, she--

She went
To get some vitamins.

- faith?

Hey, faith,
Food's ready!

Fai--faith!

- [gags]

- what's happening?
- my chest.

- yeah, your esophagus
Is obstructed.

We have to clear
Her airway.

Okay, thank you.
- the emts are on their way.

- what are you gonna do
With that?

- get what's in there out.
Okay, hold that.

Thank you.

Okay, here we go.

- hank, that's not helping.
What are you doing?

- I just lowered
The deflated balloon

Into faith's esophagus.

Okay, thank you.

Now I'm gonna inflate it...

- [gags and screams]
- okay.

Okay, good.

Now I'm gonna lift it

And hopefully it will pick up

What's stuck
And pull it out.

Divya.

There's something in there.

Okay.
There we go.

Whoo.
- what is that?

- I'm not sure.

Pills of some sort.

Faith, come here.

Have you been taking anything?

- yes, vitamins.
- yeah, big, horse-sized ones.

- because--
For my diet.

- why don't we give them

Some doctor-patient
Confidential time, hmm?

- but I want evan to stay.

- no, no, no,
She's delirious.

She meant donald, right?

You meant donald.

- she meant you.

Stay.
- okay, I'll stay.

- yeah.

- don mentioned that you
Lost some weight recently?

Did you have a gastric bypass?

- how did you know that?

- a guess based on the
Concretion I just pulled out,

And I have been wondering

Why you've been wearing
Long-sleeved shirts in july.

- well, m-my body
Lost the weight

But forgot to lose
The excess skin.

- and I'm guessing you didn't
Follow the strict diet

That goes along
With that surgery.

- I was, but then all this
Stuff happened with donald,

And I just...
I got so worried that...

I kinda went off my diet.

- which led
To the acid reflux,

Which narrowed your esophagus

And didn't allow much
To get down.

- can a gastric bypass
Cause memory loss?

- yeah, you mentioned
Faith had memory issues once?

Did that happen again?
- yeah.

And again.
And again.

- yeah.
- well, see...

If the body doesn't absorb
Enough vitamin b1,

You can suffer
Short-term memory loss.

It's called korsakoff syndrome.

- korsakoff syndrome.

Please tell me that
That sounds worse than it is.

- it's very treatable
When caught early

And if you stick
To your diet.

- please keep this
Between us.

- I'll go tell them
You're okay.

- [humming shrilly]

*

- hey, eddie van mcenroe,

Could you please
Take off the headband?

- I didn't even know this,

But by stringing
Your racket right,

It completely
Changes your game.

- you need to have game first.

All right, look, no more
Headbands, no more rackets,

No more tennis.

- what? I signed
Two whales on a golf course.

I can't even play golf.

Can you imagine
The possibilities of this?

The possibili--
- boris and I had a...Thing.

- okay. A thing.
What kind of a thing?

- I kinda snapped at him.

- all right, so...
He's our golden goose, okay?

You can't snap at the goose.

You gotta be nice to the goose.
You gotta pet the goose.

- just pet--
- stop saying pet.

- and you can't
Piss off the goose,

'cause the goose
Could get mad.

Do you know how easy
It would be

For him to kick us out of
The lake or the swamp--

Wherever geese live?
- as easy as it was

For eddie to sign
For boris's packages?

- okay. So this isn't
About boris at all.

This is about dad.
- look, eddie shows up,

And so does trouble.
- no, no, no, no.

Eddie shows up,
And suddenly you're weird.

Suddenly, you're the un-hank.
- what?

The...Un-hank?

- yeah.
You're moody hank.

You're--you're...
You're hank light.

You're too much of the henry,
Not enough of the hank.

- all right, first of all,
I'm not a diet cola.

And if I have been
Acting differently,

Which I'm not saying I have,

It's just because
It's what he does to me.

- then why don't you
Just deal with it?

He's not satan. Talk to him!
[cell phone rings]

- hold on.

Yeah?

Jill, what's up?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll be right there.

- he didn't want me
To call you,

But he was having trouble
Breathing.

- I'm okay.
I'm fine.

It's nothing.

- what were you doing?
- carrying those boxes.

- yeah, donny's donating
A bunch of his stuff

For the hospital to auction off
For the children's ward.

- and he got pale and sweaty.

- you try carrying around
485 pounds in july.

- when I cleaned
Your forehead on the road,

I didn't see this
White in your beard.

Your skin looks very dry.

Those are signs
That your copper level

Is dangerously low.

- why is it so low?

- wait. Those are...
- trash teeth.

- dentures.

Faith, can you grab
Donald's denture cream?

- lost my teeth doing security.

- some idiot tried to take
A swing at schwarzenegger.

- I intercepted his fist
With my mouth.

- thank you.

How much of this stuff
Do you go through per month,

Like how many tubes?

- if I'm shooting or promoting
One of the movies...

Tube a day.

- more if you have
A lot of scenes.

- yeah.

- this adhesive
Has high levels of zinc.

Your body's been absorbing it,
Too much of it,

Which is what I think
Has been causing

Your lack of balance,
Your muscle weakness,

And your numbness.

- but what about
The white in his beard?

- zinc toxicity causes
Low levels of copper.

I mean, I never would have
Thought to ask

A guy your age
About dentures,

But you can't use
This adhesive anymore.

- okay.
- you can keep your teeth.

You just need to use
Better-fitting dentures

And adhesive cream without zinc.
- fine.

- then you'll be back
To trashing those bad guys

In no time.

Garbage collector's
A good guy, right?

- okay.

Now you're just
Embarrassing yourself.

- hey.
- hi.

- we really can't
Thank you guys enough,

Even though, as far as
Dysfunctional siblings go,

You give us a run
For our money.

- anytime you guys wanna
Drop by the set,

Just let me know.

- with the landfill?
- yeah.

- oh, my god, that's like
A dream come true.

- yeah. Or a nightmare,
In the best possible way.

Yeah, we'll call faith.
- actually...

I'm in the market
For a new faith.

- really? Have you
Considered judaism?

'cause we could use
Someone your size.

I'll tell you what.
- we could.

- donald and I talked,

And we decided
It would be best

To dissolve
Our professional relationship

And keep it strictly siblings.

- apparently,
It's better for both of us.

- you taking
That environmental law job?

- yeah.
- she is.

Evan. Come here.

- okay.

- little closer.

Little closer.

- uh--whoa, whoa.

- thank you for being
A gentleman.

Hank.

Thanks for helping faith
And me.

- oh, my--my pleasure,
Donald.

- call me donny.

- really?
- yeah.

- all right, donny.

- okay, we gotta run.
- okay.

- see you guys. Bye.

Hey.

- [grunts]

I--
- it's okay.

He's a big guy.
- yeah.

- he's a big guy.
- he is a big guy.

- I love you.
- you've gained a little weight.

- wow. Henry,
You look fantastic.

- thanks for meeting me.
- are you kidding?

Ha.
It is my pleasure.

How 'bout this?
Best table in the house, huh?

- it's a great table.

- I was so thrilled
When I got your message.

- so I wanted us to talk.

I'll assume you came here
To the hamptons

Back into our lives
With the best intentions.

But I think
You should leave now.

- sorry?

- you should go.

- that's not what evan wants.

- it's what I want.
For both of us.

- yeah, but you're not
The father--I am.

- [laughs]

- excuse me.

Hank.

When you were little,
These hands...

Changed your diapers.

When you couldn't sleep,
These arms rocked you

Until you went back down.

I am the same man
Who got up every weekend,

Rain or shine,
At the crack of dawn,

To take you
To your soccer games.

And you know what?

That was my favorite
Part of the week.

We would talk...

Tell stories.

Remember?
We tried to see

Who could make each other
Laugh hardest?

We were best friends.

Look in my eyes.

Please.
It's still me.

Look. It's still me.

- just out of curiosity...

Those feet?

Are they the same ones
That walked out on us?

- you listen to me,
Dr. Smartass,

And you listen good.

I came here with my tail
Between my legs,

But apology time is over.

You don't tell me
Where to live.

You don't tell me
Who to talk to.

Oh, and by the way,

Who the hell are you
To talk to my girlfriend

Behind my back...
To warn her about me?

And just for the record,

I'm not going anywhere.

I might have lost one son,

But I sure as hell am not
Gonna lose another one.

- it's time...
To take out...

The trash!

[roars]

Man: aah!
[thudding]

- yeah, take that,
Tattoo guy!

Oh...Oh!

I mean...Awesome!

- that was so superior
To garbage collector iii.

- every time I-I--
[stammers] I'm speechless.

[remote control clatters]

- maybe because you've been
Talking to the screen

For the last 90 minutes.

- yeah. Or yelling at it.
- what about you?

- well, you know, I gotta
Admit, it was good, you know?

It was repulsive
Yet riveting.

- oh, yeah.
It's the citizen kane

Of environmentally correct
Slasher films

Is what I like to say.

Um, so should I give boris
The garbage collector figurine,

Our should I give him
The garbage truck?

- what?
- well, you know,

I'm sure he already
Owns both.

- and boris is fine.
Don't worry.

- where you going?
- for a run.

- oh, yeah?
- yeah.

- well, you can't run away
From your problems, hank.

- no, evan, but you can't
Fault him for trying.

[tires screech]

- are you okay?

- uh, yeah, yeah.

I'm sorry for sneaking up
On you like that.

And given your taste
For speed,

Maybe a jet would be

A more appropriate
Mode of transportation?

- I am so sorry.
- that's fine.

- I hate being late--
I've got a meeting

With mr. Kuester
Von jurgens-ratenicz.

- ooh, "A" for pronunciation.

- they don't give a-pluses
Here?

- well, it's a tough castle.
- oh.

- so listen, you can park
There or there...Or there.

- okay, okay, yeah.
I think I go tit.

- you got it?

- uh-huh.
- okay.

Try to keep it
To under 55, huh?

- will do.

- well, you come very
Highly recommended.

Very impressive.
Top of your class.

In...Every class.

- [laughs] Yes. I'm a bit
Of a perfectionist.

It's a blessing
And a curse.

So do you have
Any other questions?

- I think not.

If you wouldn't mind
Just reviewing and signing

The nondisclosure agreement.

- absolutely.

- you don't care to read it.

- I'll be discreet

Not because of a piece of paper
I've signed

But because it's good business.

- very good.

I have a feeling
You're going to make

An excellent concierge doctor.

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