Original subtitles

- I'm hank. I was your typical Emergency room doctor...

Until I got fired.

- you let a billionaire Hospital trustee die

To save some kid Off the street.

- I made a judgment call. - you made a mistake.

- this is my brother.

- I'm evan r. Lawson, cpa.

- he took me away from my Troubles and to the hamptons,

And suddenly, I had a chance

To become A whole new kind of doctor.

It turns out the wealthy And not-so-wealthy out here

Could use a guy Who makes house calls,

So I got a second chance to do What I do best.

[upbeat music]

*

- * face down

* could have sworn I was talking to you *

* uh-huh

*

- come on.

I know you can run faster.

Come on! - just run slower.

- that's not the point Of exercise.

- it's the point of brotherhood, Man.

- your guilt trips don't work On me.

- you slowed down, Didn't you?

- yeah, just to say you-- Forget it.

- yeah. Okay, hold on A second. Wait. Let's talk.

- about what?

- strategic planning For hankmed.

- what's the plan?

People get sick or hurt,

I treat them, you bill them.

- yeah, this isn't the e.R., Though,

Where people just come to you.

This is concierge medicine.

It requires guerilla marketing.

- oh, really?

I skipped that class In med school.

- okay, let's start With the basics then.

The affluent are a very elusive Demo.

- well, they won't be eluding us

Because we Won't be chasing them.

- of course not. That would be crass.

Hence my strategic plan.

- okay, your strategic plan. Let's hear it.

- so I read in the new england Journal of medicine

That one in ten women between The ages of 21 and 40

Ignores a medical condition

Just to avoid going To the doctor.

- you read the new england Journal of medicine?

- yeah, who doesn't?

- so today, we are gonna meet Ten women.

They're gonna ask us What we do for a living.

We're gonna tell them And we're gonna be so charming

About it that At least one of them

Is gonna be interested In your services.

- and the other nine?

- they'll be interested In mine.

You know what? Okay, here we go.

I'm gonna illustrate it For you.

See this guy with the dogs Over there?

- yeah.

- pretend those dogs Are attractive women, okay?

- okay.

- you start by zeroing in On just one of them.

Hey, hey--

Whoa!

- ow! Chester, that's no!

- little bit late On the dog whispering, pal.

- no biting. That's bad.

- hey, can I have a look? I'm a doctor.

Let's get rid of that. - ah! Ah!

Ah!

- does any of this hurt?

- not considering A dog just bit me.

- right.

Uh, here, Get me something sharp

And a towel.

- okay. I'm sorry--sorry.

- let me see.

All right, pull this finger Back towards your nose.

- [groans] - extensors are fine. Okay.

Good capillary refill.

- you know, it really Doesn't even hurt that bad.

- it's amazing what you can do

With the words "Medical emergency."

- let me see your hand, please.

- ah! Ah!

[seethes]

- all right, come here.

Okay, there you go.

- wow, thanks, man.

Listen, how can I repay you For this?

- no, no, no. Please, please.

Don't worry about it.

Look, puncture wounds Can get infected badly.

You need to go to the hospital For a thorough cleaning.

- man, I got a lot of work To do today. I ca--

- no, no, no. You need to go.

- okay, all right.

All right, I'll find Some time to go.

- good. - thanks.

- sure. -come on, guys.

- uh, give these To your friends.

We also do cat scratches And bee stings too.

- oh.

- that was amazing.

- well, that was exhausting.

- you're never going jogging With me again.

- whoa! Bambi in the hamptons, That's kind of freaky.

Yeah, you're right. I am never Going jogging with you again.

- hey, boris. - hank!

How are the accommodations?

- excessive. - perfect.

- that's exactly how I feel.

Hi, I don't think we've actually Properly been introduced.

I'm evan r. Lawson. I'm the cfo of hankmed.

- I'm quite aware of you, Mr. Lawson.

- cool. I just wanted to Thank you for your hospitality.

Uh, but my brother, uh, he's not Being too business savvy,

If you know what I mean.

Doesn't really understand That nothing in life is free.

So I'd be happy To negotiate any terms

That you may have directly,

Just you and me.

- I understand Your new practice out here

Is thriving already.

- how did you-- Never mind.

- there are two kinds Of people here

In the hamptons, hank--

Those here to seek attention

And those here Trying to escape it.

I just want you to know

That I strongly favor The latter.

- yeah. Believe me,

I have no interest In becoming a celebrity.

- tell me about them. - who?

- the boy with the damaged car.

The woman with the... Flat tire.

- sorry.

Confidentiality.

- I'm heading out For some relaxation time

On my ocean boat, But I'll be back tomorrow.

We'll catch up then?

Make yourselves comfortable.

You're guests here,

Not renters.

After all, the best things In life are free.

- [sighs] Man crush.

- you're seduced by anyone With an entourage.

- see you later. Bye.

Wait, I'm not done talking.

- I know. That's why I'm going. Can I shower?

- uh, only if being clean's more Important than being employed.

- sorry, ev, No guerilla marketing.

- okay, okay.

What are you gonna do?

You gonna sit around all day Waiting for you phone to--

[cell phone rings]

Okay, for the record, I made that happen.

Uh, okay, okay.

Answer the phone exactly like This: "Hankmed. Good morning.

And how can we make you Feel better today?

- hello. - or that. Good enough.

- uh, yeah, sure. I'll hold for the senator.

[the blue van's independence]

*

* my independence went away

* I didn't listen when it said

* rely on your yourself

* trusting someone else

* is a path For the silent ghost *

- I hope I didn't pull you away From something important.

- you know, I work for you now, hank,

And this is what's important.

- divya, look.

You're clearly qualified

To work at any big physician Group in manhattan.

What's the deal here, honestly?

- honestly, my parents insist

That I summer with them In the hamptons.

- so they don't support Your career?

- it's not What they see for me.

So I have to pursue it

Very quietly.

- they don't know About your career.

- sometimes You've got to take things

Into your own hands, hank.

- okay, okay.

- so what did The senator say exactly?

- he said it was urgent And refused to give me

Any details by phone.

- maybe it's his heart again.

- well, a failed run At the white house

Could take its toll on anyone.

- selling 100 billion Multivitamins

May not buy you the presidency,

But it will let you live Like a king.

- [chuckles]

- lucy everett.

- hank lawson.

- your reputation precedes you.

- heh, along With my phone number.

- my husband heard Some very good things.

- this is divya.

- I'm his physician assistant.

- hmm.

- so where is the senator?

- in london. Follow me.

As you may know, My son, kendrick,

Just announced his commitment To notre dame.

He will be competing To be the starting quarterback

And they need him In perfect condition,

Because usc's defensive line

Hits a lot harder Than my daughter and nephews.

- [laughs]

Look, as much As I admire the fact

That you have your own Football field,

Sports medicine isn't my area.

- this isn't About sports medicine.

It's about A communications strategy.

- that's definitely Not my area.

- his team physical Is next week.

I would like to avoid Any surprises.

- at least any in public view.

- all right, so he needs A routine checkup.

- it's anything but routine.

Without a clean bill of health, He will not be cleared for play.

- he needs An executive physical.

- yes, your top-of-the-line Executive physical.

Check him from head to toe In painstaking detail.

- yeah, we're not equipped For that.

We'd need a cardiopulmonary Stress-testing machine,

A 12-lead e.C.G.--

- here we are.

- who's your interior designer, Sanjay gupta?

- this is brand-new Hospital-grade equipment.

- yes.

Anything worth going out for These days

Is something you can Just as easily bring in.

And I don't cut corners When it comes to my family.

- sometimes You got to take things

Into your own hands, right?

- he's a concierge doctor.

- he'll check our vitals, Then book us dinner and a show?

- it means he will respect Our privacy.

- did dr. Greenwald tap Our phones?

Is this guy any good?

- he's recommended By dad's friend.

- who? - no one you know.

- how do you know who I know?

- melody, I have to focus On your brother now.

We'll do this later. Is that okay?

- I got to take care Of this thing.

Catch you later, dude.

- here he is.

- wow, from the game room To exam room in just 12 hours.

- [laughs]

- kendrick, say hello To dr. Lawson.

- hey. - and divya, his assistant.

- physician assistant.

- thanks for doing this.

- hey, we'll have you Back outside

Tossing touchdown passes In no time.

- yeah, as long as no time Is by noon.

- well, the exam takes As long as it takes.

- kendrick Has his nutritionist at 12:00

And his private Offensive coordinator at 1:30.

- my mandarin tutor at 3:00 And my life coach at 5:00.

And I still don't even know What a life coach is.

- the point is, the exam needs To be as long as planned.

- in case you were wondering,

Bathroom breaks Are on alternate wednesdays.

- [laughs]

[upbeat pop rock music]

*

[beep]

- barring any surprises In the lab work,

You are all systems go.

I am sure you'll have A breakout season.

- whoo. - all with 20 minutes to spare.

- I'm gonna go squeeze in some Passing drills before lunch.

Both: Don't forget to stretch.

- your dream come true. Mom times two.

[laughs]

Both: Play like a champion today.

- [laughs]

- and once the argentinean girls Were done eating out of my hand,

Three cougars showed up, And I lured them

By talking up the water's Medically proven

Rejuvenation properties.

They completely ate it up.

It was some Of my best work, actually.

- a shame the cougars Didn't eat you.

You're disgracing Our profession.

I'll be back.

I'm going to go change.

- every time She hurts my feelings,

It makes her hotter to me. Is that weird?

- you're weird. - okay.

So, yes, I am kicking ass And taking names out there,

Like literally.

- the names are finding us Just fine.

- thank you very much. - thank you.

- and p.S., we have to leverage That momentum

Before the well runs dry, okay?

So I got this girl At us weekly--

- don't even think about it. - just one blurb on tmz.

Come on, hankmed treating The senator's son?

That would be Killer publicity for us.

- their privacy Is our publicity.

[cell phone rings]

Hello?

Hey, what's wrong?

Okay, I should see you Right away, then.

Uh, meet me behind Pinch on the pier.

Okay.

- who was that?

Was that a kennedy? A rockefeller?

A jonas brother? - no, it's benny.

- who the hell is benny?

- the guy who got bit when you Tried to simulate flirtation

On his pack of dogs.

- oh, my god, that--

Are we billing him this time?

- I have a hunch He can't afford us.

Look, we treat Who needs treatment.

If they can afford To pay, great.

If not, you'll figure out a way To make it all add up.

- all right, as long As cujo's not there, I'm good.

- you clean up nice.

I just got a call.

Uh, you want to squeeze In a quick one before we go?

- oh, yes.

- he just took the words Right out of my mouth.

- you're not worth The dry cleaning, evan.

- ah. - let's go.

- hotter and hotter still.

[dogs bark]

- you know, all dog walkers Get bit at some point.

It just comes With the territory.

Please stop barking, beyonce!

- gauze and a clamp.

You said You'd go to the hospital.

- the wait there Is four hours if--ah--

I'm lucky.

Four hours times four dogs

Times ten bucks an hour Is real money.

And I'm not gonna ask my mom To help me with rent again.

- it's infected badly.

- ah! Ah.

- okay, look, we can start Draining the abscess,

But the hospital needs To finish the treatment.

- why can't We just do it all here?

- no, it needs to be debrided By a hand surgeon

Who knows Where the nerves, arteries,

And tendons are hiding.

- well, I lost my insurance Last year.

- look, it's the e.R. Of a public hospital.

They have to treat you.

- well, I can't just tell them that.

- you can, And I'll show you how.

- evan, keys.

- what? What are you doing?

- promoting you. Cfo and head dogsitter.

Come on, benny.

- those two live three blocks Down on the left,

94 cardinal drive.

And the other guys Are at 17 spring street,

Right behind the movie theater.

Okay, just make sure you get Everyone home safely.

All right? - hank, I can give you a ride.

- I got this one, divya.

You look like You have somewhere to be.

- I have a family obligation, But I can--

- go. Enjoy it...If you can.

- walk slow because kiki Can't walk fast, all right?

- here we go.

Come on.

So, divya, we can ride With you, right?

- [laughs] Sorry.

Ugh.

Furry animals and sterile Medical equipment don't mix.

- hey, cute dogs.

- I hate this place.

- just say Exactly what we rehearsed.

You're gonna be fine.

- uh, I got bit by a dog.

It's swollen, and it hurts bad.

- fill these out And take a seat.

- but it's an emergency.

- perfect. This is an emergency room.

- he has an ascending infection Of the hand,

Into the arm, presenting like A sclerosing tenosynovitis.

- what did you do? - he just told you.

A dog bit him. - and you are?

- someone qualified to judge

That he needs treatment Immediately.

- give me the charge nurse Right away.

- yeah, so I'll see you Tomorrow, then?

Cool. Okay.

I'll see you later.

[dogs barking] Come on.

Come on, guys.

Wow, that box looks heavy.

Hey, don't I know you?

- they just don't make Pickup lines like they used to.

- I have been labeled A progressive.

- I have to get to work.

- cute dogs. - I know you.

- hey. No, I'm serious. I really know you.

Stephan, leave beyonce alone. Come here, come here.

Jackie, right?

Jackie? Ja--janice? - sorry, bud, game over.

- jill.

- how do you know my name?

[pop rock music]

*

- are you using drugs Of any kind?

- no, of course not.

- you drink anything With a kick last night?

- would red bull... Do this to me?

- no.

Do me a favor, kendrick, And tell me your address.

- [slurring] Sixty...Seven...

Hey, doc.

- yeah.

- my body is...Tingling.

- oh!

Kendrick.

- all right, push down On my hand.

- what happened? - we don't know.

- what do you mean We don't know?

- well, he was fine yesterday,

At least according To his executive physical.

- okay, labs and stress test All came back normal.

- dtrs are decreased Bilaterally.

Hypotonia, More in the lower extremities.

- guillain-barre?

- possibly, but he has no pain.

Squeeze my hands.

Squeeze. Hard!

Come on, kendrick.

- I have to play...

F-f-football.

- all right, we should get him To the hospital

For further testing. - no!

- we need this handled quietly.

- look, there are a lot Of variables right now

That we can't plan for In your home.

That's why hospitals exist.

I'd really feel More comfortable--

- I'd feel less comfortable.

Five years ago, my husband Walked into a hospital

With chest pain.

Within 20 minutes, It was leaked to the media.

The next day he lost The iowa caucus,

Because the opposition was able To smear him

As a man with a weak heart Overnight.

- turns out it was just A bad case of indigestion.

- dr. Lawson,

You were not just hired For kendrick's health.

You were also hired For his privacy

And to make sure that he plays Football at notre dame

And then goes on to lead A successful life as planned.

- [sighs]

- I will not put my family

In the hands Of the system again.

- to diagnose this properly, I'd need--

- I'll get you Whatever you need.

Or just say that You're giving up on him,

And I'll find someone else.

[heart monitor beeping]

- hank, look.

The way I see it, We have two options:

We can keep fighting her, Or we can start helping him.

- all right, well, how are we Gonna get a mobile mri?

- let me worry about that.

[cell phone rings]

- oh, god.

- wha--did you just Big-time me?

Anyway, I have two news alerts.

I ran into a friend of yours, And I did you a major solid.

Two, this car needs gas.

Circle back with me asap To discuss.

Huh.

[tires squealing]

[doorbell rings]

- hello, ms. Newberg.

Evan r. Lawson.

I'm the cfo of hankmed.

The...Hank--hank's brother.

- oh, hank! [chuckles]

Please, come in. - cool.

- so how is hank doing?

- uh, he's doing very well.

And so are you.

Uh, you look fantastic, ma'am.

- thank you, dear. - yeah.

So, uh, so naturally beautiful.

And splendidly symmetrical.

- yes, I know.

How can I help you?

- oh, no, miss newberg, It's how I can help you.

- may I offer you A vitamin-infused gin rickey?

- yep.

- esperanza?

- perfect.

Oh, that'll be great.

Okay.

All right, Talk to you soon. Bye.

Okay, I tracked it down. It's there.

You just need to ask for it.

- good work, divya.

Melody.

- I think maybe I did this to him.

Please don't tell my mom.

- tell me what you mean.

- when I tackled him This weekend

During a game with our cousins,

His head hit the ground Really hard.

And he didn't get up For a few seconds.

- no, his symptoms Aren't consistent with trauma.

You didn't do this To him, melody.

Look, what you're feeling Isn't guilt.

It's just love and concern.

No mom could ever blame you For that.

- oh, you don't know my mom.

Kendrick's future is her life.

Notre dame's just The first step,

And then it's off To a top five law school,

The justice department, Congress,

And ultimately achieving What my father couldn't.

If I did anything To jeopardize all that,

She'd say That I ruined his life.

She'd say I ruined her plan.

- what's the catch?

- there's no fine print here, Ms. Newberg.

- well, it sounds like A very interesting proposal.

- I thought You'd feel that way.

- do you have any literature?

- funny you should ask.

Hot off the press.

Oh, thanks.

- oh.

Well, I'll pass this on To my advisors.

And if they approve, Then I'm in.

- hank would be so thrilled

- hank, our savior.

[chuckles]

God bless him. - amen to that.

- and you seem Very competent too.

- mm-hmm.

- you must meet My little granddaughter.

- uh, thank you, ms. Newberg. You know, I--

- she's spending the summer With me.

- I'm--I'm really not Very good with kids.

- emma, come here, sweetie.

- it's just not--

Hi.

- this gentleman works With the doctor

Who saved me last week.

- ah, your faux nichons.

- she's been studying in paris.

- oh, that is too funny,

Because this very afternoon I'm actually hosting

A reception to celebrate

The european Architectural influences

At my home, shadow pond.

Isn't that so weird?

You should come. - shadow pond?

That sounds like An assisted living facility.

- yeah, you know--

Yeah, you're probably Not interested

In getting culture During your break from school.

- probably not? - she needs culture.

- nana, please, Don't micromanage.

- I promised your mom

You would not spend The entire summer

Watching the mountains

And gossiping about it On headbook.

- it's the hills, And it's facebook.

- go to this nice man's Reception,

Bring your friends.

Or there's no salt scrubs At the maidstone for a week.

- how many friends exactly?

- excuse me, I'm looking for--ah.

Hey.

- hey.

- oh, nice.

- yeah, mock disaster drill.

No crossing guard jokes, Please.

- no, I was just gonna ask If you were missing a lifeboat.

Look, uh, I know we just met,

But I need a favor, And it's a big one.

- how big?

- the size of a truck.

- I'm sorry, but I can't say.

- you can't say who.

- no, I can't say anything.

- well, that doesn't give me Much to go on

During our busiest weekend Of the summer.

- I know, I know.

- why don't you try the hospital In riverhead?

They have an mri truck And one-tenth our caseload.

- no, I-I can't. Time really is a factor here.

- so you want me to lend My mri truck

To someone who doesn't feel Like dealing with the traffic?

- no, no--no.

I wouldn't ask for it If that were the case.

- you're A concierge doctor, hank.

I have patients. You have clients.

And I can't move a mountain Every time a ceo sneezes.

- it's not a ceo.

It's a teenage boy with acute Neurological deficits,

And we both know That can kill you,

Regardless of how big Your trust fund is.

This boy needs help.

He needs it fast.

And I'm not asking you To move a mountain,

Just a truck.

- [sighs]

- looks like we don't need The mri for the next two hours.

- okay. - I'm paging a tech right now.

- great. Great.

Thank you, really.

You know, despite my freakishly Calm demeanor,

It wasn't easy for me To come here

And ask you For something like this.

- that doesn't surprise me Coming from a guy

Who can't even ask me out Himself.

Anyway, I just found out That I have to work tonight.

- uh, tonight? You have to work ton--

[stammers] What are we talking about?

- that's when your brother said That you wanted--

- my brother?

My brother, evan?

Ev--evan, my brother. How did you meet evan?

- uh, randomly in town.

He asked me out to dinner, You know, on your behalf.

- he did, did he? How helpful of him.

He's a good guy.

Not that he, um,

Totally misrepresented me.

I mean, it's possible That at some point, I would--

- ms. Casey, we're ready For the mock evacuation drill.

- got to go.

You better bring my truck back Washed and waxed.

- oh, washed, waxed,

With the pine-tree thing hang--

Hang--

- so, uh, Where's everybody else?

- um, well, you've got me.

You've got allie and maxine.

And you've got about two dozen Of the world's most exotic fish.

I mean, who else do you need?

- you said This was a reception.

- yeah, everyone else apparently Had scheduling conflicts.

- yeah, or self-respect.

Hey, guys, Maybe we should bail.

- maybe after a quick dip?

- couldn't hurt, right?

[machine whirs]

[whirring intensifies]

- nancy, I need you.

- so do any of you girls read

The new england journal Of medicine?

- uh, no.

- oh, all right.

Allie, you are really beautiful.

Sorry, I just had to say it, You know?

You probably come From beautiful parents too, huh?

Are they alive and well?

- uh, yeah.

- that's good. No hereditary Conditions or anything?

- just divorce.

- oh. Eesh.

Feels pretty magical, huh?

There are a few things It won't cure,

Like, uh, osteoarthritis.

Right?

Or gingivitis

Or a severe gluten allergy.

- excuse me.

What are you talking about?

- what am I talking About, emma?

I'm talking about Restless leg syndrome.

Does that strike Any chords, emma?

Restless leg syndrome?

- sir.

- hey, dieter! What's up, man?

Hey, you know what? Why don't you jump in here?

I could use a wingman.

- no, thank you.

- would you grab my phone For a second

And just take Some pictures of us,

Because people tend not To believe things--

- the marine spa has not been Serviced properly in some time.

- you know what? Neither have I, man.

But this is official Hankmed business.

Dieter, old chum,

Is the pool bar fully stocked?

- this place is pretty ridic.

- yeah, Some might even say, "Ludic."

- you know, I'm particularly impressed

By the european Architectural influences.

- yeah, Would you like to discuss

The history Of the turkish bath?

- or we could just do Some shots.

- yeah.

You know, I-I should really Get you home half sober,

'cause I really need Your nana to like me.

- oh, yeah? Why is that?

- 'cause she might be The one in ten.

One in ten-- It's a business term.

Yeah, don't worry about it.

Just, uh, put in a good word For me, okay?

- well, I'm spending the summer Stuck at my grandmother's house,

So why don't we start

With those shots I requested?

- yeah. - body shots.

- no, we're not doing--

- girls! Body shots.

- no, we're not doing-- - whoo!

- no, we're not doing Body shots. No, no, no.

Look, okay, for-- Just to be sociable.

Let's do, like, six.

Let's do, like, six. You first.

And then you...

- ew! What is this?

- wow.

- oh, my god! I have it too!

- aah! What the hell?

- mine is itching!

- mine is burning!

- mine is spreading!

- what the hell?

- [sighs] What is taking so long?

- telemedicine moves At its own pace.

[computer chimes]

- what did the radiologist say?

- mri's totally normal.

- okay, let's do this.

Spinal needle.

Okay.

It's clear.

No gross blood, No xanthochromia.

[sighs]

All right, get a cell count On tubes 1 and 4.

C and s on 3, protein on 2.

Cryptococcus antigen On number four.

I'll update his mother.

- it's for the best, Do you understand that?

It's done with.

- okay, uh, let me bring you Up to speed

On what we've ruled out so far.

It's not guillain-barre,

Myasthenia gravis, botulism,

Or a structural lesion.

We may have to repeat The spinal tap--

- she's airlifting him To cornell.

- what? - they have the top specialists.

I've arranged A john doe admission,

Completely off the grid. - no, no, no.

He's no longer in any condition For transfer.

- they'll figure out What's happening to him.

- they'll run The same tests I did.

Look, it'll waste time He doesn't have.

He's deteriorating.

- and who let that happen?

- you did, mom!

You should've taken him To the hospital before.

- the doctor and I Will handle this.

Is that okay?

- ma'am, look. I know this is hard.

You have dreams You want to protect.

You expect-- - people said

I had the good plan Of marrying into a fortune.

Truth is, my husband Had the good fortune

Of marrying Into a plan, my plan.

I took ed From obscure entrepreneur

To federal reserve director To united states senator.

And that's as far As the race took him.

Kendrick is going to have The whole package

Without any missteps.

I have a plan for that boy,

Not as a dreamer, But as a mother.

- I know you love your son.

But you need to stop fixating On his destiny

And start worrying About his life,

Because he can't be president If he's dead.

- hank! He's in respiratory arrest.

- all right, I'm ready.

Tube, please.

It's in.

Okay, go ahead.

Okay, bag him.

Okay, his breathing is stable.

Monitor him carefully

For any signs Of cerebral edema.

- come talk to me. - if he goes...

- hypertensive and bradycardic,

We hit him with a mannitol And then the lasix,

And we hyperventilate him.

- exactly.

- just give him More time, mom.

- no, instead of getting better, He's just getting worse.

- mrs. Everett, The chopper is here.

- tell it to go away, nancy.

The doctor said It's already too late.

- excuse me. I am in charge.

Is that okay? - no, it's not okay.

Kendrick Doesn't want your help,

And he doesn't want your plan.

He doesn't even want To be president.

He just wants to play football,

But he didn't want To disappoint you,

So he went along with it.

Now, just let The doctor do his job.

- did kendrick Really tell you that?

- he tried to tell You too, mom.

You would know that if you Stopped for a sec to listen,

But you're always too busy Doing the talking,

Whispering in his ear,

Putting all your stuff In there.

- you're never going jogging With me again.

- [laughing]

Yes!

- melody.

When you tackled kendrick This weekend,

His head hit the grass.

- yeah, why? - kendrick hit his head?

Why didn't you tell me?

- you said That I didn't do this.

- I think all you've done To your brother,

Melody, is save him.

Alligator forceps And mineral oil.

- what are you doing?

- I'm neutralizing The parasite.

- forceps.

- what parasite in the hamptons Could cause all this?

- a very, very small one.

Deer tick.

Once this little guy managed To crawl right into his ear,

It fed on his blood To make eggs.

It's salivary gland Secreted a neurotoxin

Which caused a rapidly Ascending paralysis.

- oh, my god. - is he gonna be okay?

- well, with the tick removed,

The poison will dissipate Just as rapidly.

[chuckles]

He's gonna be fine.

- bro, serious trouble Back at the bat cave.

I need you and divya

And all your little gadgets And ointments back here stat.

[breathes heavily]

- there he is.

Welcome back, buddy. You're gonna be fine.

- [coughs, laughs]

- rest.

I am glad That we brought you both

To keep this private.

Thank you.

- I'm glad to have you back. - sure.

- yeah, right.

- melody has never stood up To me like that before.

- well, she was protecting Her brother.

- she was asserting herself...

Showing signs of leadership.

- thank you. - thank you.

[cell phone beeping]

- why do I have 11 voice mails?

[cell phone rings]

- I think I know why.

What is it, evan?

- ah. - he's been busy,

Very busy.

Okay, relax. Just tell me the problem.

- he sent me 23 pictures too.

- wait, stop. - ew, ew.

- you were in a jacuzzi.

- hot tub folliculitis.

- the filtration system Is broken.

Just soak some hot towels In household vinegar.

Apply the compress For 20 minutes

Two to four times a day.

- you'll all be fine By next week,

Although you'll still be An idiot.

- you'd make A great older brother.

- hmm.

- quite a thing We just pulled off.

- well, who needs hospitals After all?

- [laughs]

So I guess we need to figure out Your compensation,

Stuff like that. - whatever you think is fair.

- and your title.

- well, what's wrong With physician assistant?

- yeah, people seem to only hear The second half of it.

I was thinking...

Associate.

- [laughs]

- ugh.

Did you not get my calls?

- I turned my phone off.

- you did what? Never do that.

- I heard about Your hot tub mishap.

Nice. - "Mishap"?

"Mishap"? It was a disaster, henry!

I spent all day trying To convince these girls

I wasn't a douche bag,

And they left smelling Like vinegar and water.

- what was going Through your head?

- nothing But our strategic plan.

- your strategic plan.

- no, our pla--the plan--

To turn ten women Into one patient.

But then only three showed up, And I--

- you turned them all Into patients.

- I di--

It made much more sense On paper, okay?

- look, if we're gonna do This together,

You need to take it seriously

And really pitch in, Like a grown-up.

- what's this?

- it's just me pitching in.

You are looking at our very First summer retainer.

- who retained us?

- one ms. "New parts" newberg,

Who now has 24-7 access to you By phone or by house call

And guaranteed Same-day appointments,

Including all lab work And specialty referrals.

- 24-7? That woman will drive me crazy.

- and that's what It's gonna cost her...

Per month.

- you're gonna be fine, benny.

- I told him not To take this job.

Tu nunca me escucha.

- please, ma, not now.

- you were supposed to be a vet, Not a dog walker.

This is like being a busboy Instead of a chef.

- how is that the same?

- you're right. Busboys get tips.

- mami, please, You're making my hand hurt.

Hank, you got a cure for this?

- look, you're in great shape, Benny, all right?

If you have Any problems, just--

You just call me. - thank you, doctor.

- jill.

- hi. - hi.

I was just visiting A friend.

- I heard all about it.

Want to grab a bite? - oh, I thought--

- I have a few minutes,

And I know a great place Right near here.

- okay.

- best I could do On such short notice.

- hey, I love carousel cuisine.

I got my eye On a 2007 chocolate milk

That I've heard Very good things about.

So I-I guess we have evan To thank for this.

- yeah, yeah.

So you and your brother Seem pretty different.

- on a good day, Very different.

I don't know.

I guess even In your own family,

It's rare to find a person You really connect with.

- then you meet someone At a party.

- but you wonder if they see The world in the same way.

- you do?

- yeah, I do.

I mean... Who are you, hank?

Are you the guy who Is lining up $2 million magnets

For people who can afford To buy their own,

Or are you the guy

Who's making sure That the local dog walker

Doesn't lose his hand because He can't afford to save it?

- well, why do I have to choose One over the other?

I mean, they both need my help.

- but concierge doctors Help rich people.

Isn't that the idea?

- well, I may have A slightly different idea.

- I really hope your New business succeeds, hank,

But... [sighs]

It has to succeed Without my favors.

My job is to help people Who come to the hospital,

Not people who won't.

- yeah, I'm sorry if I put you

In an uncomfortable position.

- in a way, I'm glad you did.

- yeah, why's that?

- I think it's cute That we had our first fight

Before our first date.

- [laughs]

Yeah, me too.

Mmm, this pizza Is oddly refreshing.

- that's because It's a lemon strudel.

- oh, yeah, that makes sense. - [laughing]

- ms. Casey, They need you in oncology.

- okay. I'm sorry.

I've gotta go put out a fire.

- uh, can I walk you To your fire?

- have a good night, hank.

- how were the high seas?

- so quiet, No disturbances at all.

[speaking german]

- so, how are The everetts doing?

Lucy still have everything On, uh, track over there?

- I'm glad you enjoyed Your outing.

- ha!

I'm sure mrs. Everett Will appreciate

Your respect For confidentiality.

- hey, boris. - yes?

- thanks for the referral.

- don't mention it.

I've got plans for you, hank.

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