Original subtitles

I miss you so much.

I tell you, I must have jerked off to that postcard like every day this

I knew George Washington could make me so hot.

You sure know how to make a girl feel special.

Listen, I... Oh, nice.

Listen up.

Tara, I'm really glad you came over and everything, but if I don't finish

chopping up that firewood, my dad, he's going to kill me.

Don't you think we should work on your words, sir?

Besides, you can tell your dad that I was helping you with your speech for

student council.

Me first.

Good morning, Lincoln.

Featured just a few quick announcements.

The science department is missing a medical skeleton and a 50 -liter bag of

saltier acid.

If anyone has any leads on this, please contact the office.

Next Friday is the big Lincoln -Douglas game, so come out and show your support

for the Lamps.

Finally, this Friday is the last day you can file to run for student council

president. So come on, kids.

Make a difference.

Send your application to Mr. Wright or Ms. Heath as soon as possible.

That's all for today, students.

Today's topic, gases, the fusion of gases specifically.

That's what we're going to talk about this morning.

Mr. Olson, the next time you are late, I expect an egg and cheese biscuit on my

desk. Capisce?

Anyway, gases.

They have no defined shape, no defined volume.

They go to the object they're filling up. For example, the tire is round.

Basketball is rounder, but yet smaller.

It takes that shape.

Want to understand that? Any questions on that?

Okay. Gases are very springy.

They have no defined mass or volume. They just go to the place of that phase.

Basketball, round, fills the hole.

And with tire, fills the hole with tire.

You all catch that?

Is that clear?

Mr. Olson, you must be an expert in the process of diffusion.

Stand up and teach the class about Graham's Law, specifically the diffusion

gases.

Diffusion of gases is basically when a gas spreads.

I guess the best example would be a fart.

So let's say Mr. Romer rips one.

No, I'm serious.

Let's say he lets out a nasty fart. I mean, this thing would clear the room.

See, at first, you guys aren't going to smell it, because when the fart leaves

his butt, all the molecules are bunched together.

But pretty soon, all the fart molecules start bouncing off the air molecules and

spreading around the room.

And that's when the stink hits you.

And I suggest you cover your noses.

Thank you, Mr. Rawls. You may sit down.

Oh my God, Kelsey, you're going to be the best person ever. I know.

I'm awesome.

I think you should raise it.

Jenna, if I lost your opinion, I'll ask for it, okay?

Go pass out pins or something.

Good luck, Kelsey.

I'm really looking forward to this election.

May the best person win.

It can be a little bit.

Everyone thinks she's so great just because her legs don't work.

What?

And this is me with my dog, Checkers.

at the Washington Monument.

And here we are in front of the Capitol.

And that's it.

You know, Barry,

Maybe if you had a sense of civic pride, like Chelsea here, you could appreciate

government class.

With all due respect, Mr. Wright, I think I speak for the rest of the class

I say we're bored.

Then maybe you'd like to leave.

Get your books and go to the principal's office.

Now!

You know, pretty soon someone's going to realize that you're not actually going

to the principal's office.

I can only cover for you so long, Barry.

Hey, do you know anything about this new girl, Joanna?

Ooh, somebody's got a crush.

Go eat a donut.

You want to get in with this girl?

Try running for student council.

Yeah, right.

Politics? It's like two wolves and a lamb voting on lunch.

I'd get devoured out there.

Besides, there's no way I could beat Chelsea Blythe.

Who said anything about winning?

Just use it to get to know her.

Think about it. She's new in town, doesn't have any friends in school.

Even you might have a chance with her.

Thanks for the vote of confidence.

Hello, Barry.

I trust you learned your lesson?

Lesson learned, Mr. Wright.

Listen, Mr. Wright.

I was thinking about what you said today about civic pride.

I want to run for student council president.

Barry, I don't know if you can do that.

You haven't attended a single student council meeting.

You haven't even paid your dues.

It's never too late to get involved, right?

All they found was her bloody wheelchair.

She's gotta be dead.

The wheelchair is soaked in her blood.

It's too bad.

She was a nice girl.

You know, Tara Capo and Tom Sackmore haven't been in

school for a week.

What if... they're dead too?

Don't be stupid, Barbara.

They'd probably land for the border.

And you know Tara's dad was having an affair with her illegal maid.

Barry!

I heard you're running for president.

You're such a comedian.

Well good luck... loser.

Look, Barry, please don't run for president. Please. I need to win this

election, Barry. Okay, if I lose, the Naval Academy is going to reject me for

sure. Please.

You can make all the decisions. You can be the man behind the curtain.

Eddie, calm down.

I don't care about the stupid election.

I'm not even trying to win.

Look, come here.

See that girl over there?

Uh -huh.

She's the only reason I'm running.

Oh. Yeah.

So relax, man.

You got my vote.

So,

where are you from, newbie?

My dad's in the military, so we move around a lot. I just knew she was from

Delaware. Oh my god, you're a foreign exchange student?

That's so cool.

She's from Delaware, you stupid cunt.

It's in the United States.

Relax, it's an honest state.

It's a pretty small state.

Do you have any clue who you're dealing with here?

Why don't you educate me?

Listen to me, you arrogant twit.

If you don't drop out of this election, I will make you wish you never walked

through the doors of Lincoln High.

Do you understand me?

will bury you.

We here at Lincoln are thrilled to have you involved.

We will provide you with any information that you need.

I trust that coffee is piping hot.

Officer Kennedy is here to see you.

Send him in.

What's up, sir?

Officer Kennedy, this is Detective Kurtz.

He's been assigned to investigate the disappearances.

It's a nice suit.

Wish I could say the same for yours.

You can't drink here.

What are you going to do?

Call my boss and get me thrown off the case?

Where's the phone? I'll dial it.

Now, now, boys.

Play nice.

Now, considering the gravity of the situation, I have agreed to let

Kirch share your office until the two of you can get to the bottom of this.

Gentlemen, I would appreciate it if you handled this as quickly and discreetly

as possible.

The last thing we need.

It's for this place to turn into a madhouse.

Look at them.

They feed their face.

What you reading?

I should probably pick that up.

I think that's our future president.

Not if I can help it.

No offense, but do you really think you can win?

Do you really think you can?

Barry, I heard you're running for president.

I'm telling that to you, man.

Thank you.

I'll take that as a yes.

Let me introduce you to your

election advisors, Ms. Heath and Vice Principal Mackey.

Now let's go over some general rules.

Vice Principal Mackey?

You are all permitted to issue pins, pamphlets, flyers, and even small

But anything beyond that is strictly prohibited.

Favors of any kind will result in you getting disqualified and suspended.

Each candidate will be allowed to make a speech during lunch hour the Tuesday

before the election.

The election will be held that Friday, and results will be shared on afternoon

announcements.

I believe that's all. Are there any questions?

If a candidate hasn't paid his or her dues, can they be disqualified?

I warned you, newbie.

You're a dead girl walking.

You look like you just crawled out of a grave.

Really?

Thanks.

After a brief conference, we've decided a candidate does not need to pay his or

her dues in order to run.

Oh, one last thing.

It's been brought to our attention that some of you are in danger of falling

below a C average.

As you know, a candidate must maintain a C average or above...

in order to participate in this election.

If you fall under this category, we suggest you find a tutor.

Good evening.

Are you sure we have time to

eat? Relax, my parents just left.

Don't worry, baby.

My grandma lives an hour away.

Oh, is that a new one?

Yeah.

Nice. Here's something else.

So, what are we studying tonight?

Spanish again?

Anatomy of the theology.

Let me handle this.

You were nice enough to cook for me.

Hey, baby.

Are we doing American history today?

Teacher Lorraine Heath and Christian Dodler, a student at Lincoln High

were found brutally murdered over the weekend in Dodler's home.

Dollar's parents came home to find their son's body mangled beyond recognition

and his teacher's naked corpse in the kitchen. Local police believe the

homicides be connected to the disappearance of three Lincoln students

the past week.

If you recall, Lincoln student Tara Capo and boyfriend Tom...

How much do you trust me, Barry?

Sorry, Officer Kennedy.

I'm not writing out the school drug dealers.

That's more serious than that. Do you trust me?

Of course.

I mean, you help me skip class every day.

What's wrong?

After Tara, Tom, and Maxine went missing, the first thing I did was check

lockers.

I found these.

Jason and Missy were found murdered last night.

So this morning, I went and checked Christian's locker.

It's on this.

It's not my handwriting, Barry.

So turn them in.

Anyone could have slipped these into the locker.

If I turn those in now, I'll be crucified.

I'll lose my job even though I'm innocent.

I don't know if it's the killer.

Or just someone that wants to see me get fired.

Someone is trying to pin these murders on me.

Any leads?

I think it had something to do with the election.

They were all involved with it in some way or another.

I don't know if it's a teacher or a staff member or a student.

I don't even know who's running other than you.

Look, just tell me what you need me to do.

See if you can find out if anyone has a secret vendetta against me.

Start with the janitor.

He's a nutbag, but he knows everything that goes on in this building.

Then move on to the other student council candidates.

I'll see what I can do.

Mr. Janitor?

Hey.

Have you seen anything suspicious lately?

Like students slipping notes in the lockers?

Do you recognize this handwriting?

It's all I got.

You gotta work with me, man.

I've seen him.

Ghost of Abraham Lincoln.

Yeah, I heard.

You said he stole acid from the lab.

I know we're all deeply upset over the passing of our friends, Ms. Heath and

Christian.

So, I'd like you to take this opportunity to express your grief

Let's use this class as free studio time.

Use the facilities to get past your sadness, your anger.

Art is catharsis.

Very nice, Eddie.

Nice color.

You know I'm rooting for you.

You're such a good student. You're exactly what this school needs.

Good luck.

Hey, Dennis.

Hi. I was wondering if you could maybe help me out with my student council

speech. Me?

Sure, I guess.

Meet me in the gym after the game if you help me with my speech. I'll help you

with your routine.

Janet, big fan, man.

I was wondering if I could get your autograph.

Sure, sure.

I sign all my fans.

There you go. Good job, bud. Students, please pardon this interruption.

There will be a meeting this afternoon for all of the student council

in Mr. Wright's room.

We've called this meeting for two reasons.

First and most importantly, because we want to remember Miss Heath and

Christian.

So could you all join us in prayer for a moment?

What?

No, no. It's illegal to make us pray in public school.

Will the murders have any effect on the election?

Absolutely not.

As far as we can tell, nothing about the elections will change.

However, we are asking you all to keep a close eye on your fellow students and

report any suspicious activities to Officer Kennedy.

So you are all still required to make your speeches in front of the school

assembly next week.

We hope you've been practicing your speeches.

It's time to get serious, folks.

My name is Billie Roscoe. Some of you might recognize me from cheerleading or

yearbook. But today, today I'm here to talk to you

about being your student body president.

It's magic time.

Hey, pal.

Hey!

I was...

Just practicing. Sorry.

Time to pack up, Lamb Chop.

Game ended two hours ago.

I gotta lock up.

All right, all right, all right.

Why'd you do that?

My mom spent good money on that.

Who are you anyway?

It's the Lincoln Lambs, you doofus, not the Lincoln Lincolns.

Can I come up?

Sure, but leave the rock down there.

So check this out.

I conducted a survey about the election, and surprise, surprise, I don't stand a

chance.

But you and Chelsea are neck and neck.

That's great, but I don't care.

I'm dropping out.

I'm not trying to get killed. Are you?

You can't let that uber bitch win.

This election could be the springboard for her entire political career. What's

next? Governor Chelsea.

Senator Chelsea. President Chelsea.

What's the matter?

Are you afraid to have a girl on your bed?

What? No.

Look. You can't tell anyone.

I don't even know what I'm looking at here.

Officer Kennedy found these in the missing student's locker.

That's not his handwriting.

Someone's trying to frame him.

I got autographs from all the candidates to see if the handwriting matched up.

I had them write inspirational messages.

How'd you get Chelsea to sign it?

I told her I was dropping out.

You can't drop out.

Barry, I came here to tell you that I'm dropping out to join your campaign.

Chelsea Blythe must be stopped.

I can't beat her, but you can.

You've got electability.

Look, I'll keep running, but only if you help me with this.

We have evidence that no one else knows about.

We could actually catch this guy.

Who says the killer's a guy?

As many of you know by now, three members of our school family were found

murdered last night.

Today, in their remembrance, will be a half day. I encourage all students to

attend their funeral services and mourn our collective loss.

Also, student council speeches will be canceled temporarily.

Confirmed dead.

Missing.

Potential suspects.

Suspects, huh?

Might as well highlight all of them.

I'm done dicking around, kiddo.

It's time I got to know the student body.

Let's start with that front runner.

Do you know anyone that had it out for Miss Heath or Kristen Dobler?

No, officer.

But I know she was, well, you know.

I'm sorry, Miss Blake. We don't know.

An S -L -U -T?

I mean, I don't know for sure.

I'm not like that.

Why are you running for student council president?

Honestly, it's research.

I'm writing an expose for the paper on the candidates.

And by the way, I need cops.

Me too.

Let's cut to the chase.

Why are you running for student council president?

I want to get involved in student government.

Is that okay?

Look, Joanna, we understand how it is. You're new in school.

It's hard to make friends.

Look, I'm just saying, I run for student council, and all of a sudden I'm a

murder suspect?

Some of your classmates told us you've been conducting your own investigation.

So, Nancy Drew, here to elaborate?

Hey, I'm no closer to the truth than you guys are.

And how close are we?

Well, you guys must not be very close to be questioning all the students.

All right, smartass, what else are you hiding?

Hey, I told you everything I know.

I can't believe you're helping Barry.

It's losers like him that give our school a bad name.

I cannot wait to see the look on your face when I wipe the floor with him.

makes you so sure you'll win?

The best thing about this election is that it's not about politics.

It's about popularity.

And I am the most popular, most influential student in school.

The student body could care less what I plan to do when I'm elected.

They're a bunch of worthless, pathetic losers.

When they leave this school, they'll all be forgotten.

But I will be remembered forever.

Because I'm better than them. And they know it.

And that is why I'm going to win.

In the bag, bitches.

You're right, Chelsea.

They'll probably erect a... statue in your honor, and it'll read, Chelsea

Blythe, the biggest bit to ever grace the halls of Lincoln High.

We will continue this conversation later.

Why have you been grilling me so hard?

You want to tell me why there's rumors going around that I'm the killer?

Look, man, I'm sorry.

This isn't a school project, Barry.

If I'm implicated in any way, these murders will follow me around for the

of my life.

I just took photocopies of the letters to see if anybody recognized the

handwriting. I blacked out your name at the bottom. I swear.

And look, I collected handwriting samples from all the candidates.

Judge for yourself.

But I don't think it's any one of them.

Does anyone else know where you got the copies? Does anybody know that I have

those letters?

No.

So what do you want me to do next?

Any leads?

Leads? No.

But... Mr. Wright is missing.

And so is Eddie Mills.

I knew about Eddie.

But Mr. Wright?

I just thought he was sick.

No one's supposed to know.

School got worried after they didn't hear from him for two days.

Mr. Wright hasn't missed a day of work in 18 years.

So Kurtz went over there to check it out.

He found the door wide open.

He looked around inside, found signs of a struggle, broken shit everywhere.

The worst thing?

They found his dog, Checkers, mutilated on the kitchen floor.

God, that's disgusting.

He loved that dog.

He talked about it every day.

Come on, there's gotta be a key. Everyone hide the key.

Not where I'm from.

I think I beat the crowbar.

It's broad daylight, Barry.

Found it.

Barry,

get out of there now.

What's wrong?

Detective Kurtz just pulled up.

Barry, he's getting out of the car.

I'm not doing it you expect me to believe that someone is killing students

because of a high school election

It's a different time, Principal Huck.

Kids these days, they're crazy.

They'd shoot you for a cell phone.

Shutting down the election could aggravate the killer. We could have a

on our hands.

Newsflash, kiddo. We already have a massacre on our hands.

Teachers and students, please pardon this interruption.

This is Principal Huck.

In light of recent events, I have no choice but to cancel the student council

elections.

Students, if you have trash, please put it in the wastebasket. If I

make a mess of this place, the janitor will have my head.

Uh, the janitor's dead, Ms. Frederica.

Really?

I just can't keep up with all these killings.

Miss Frederica, please pardon this interruption.

Could you please send Chelsea and Barry to the principal's office?

Look, guys.

I'd like to make this as painless as possible.

We're worried about your safety.

With the murders and disappearances, we'd like to pull the two of you out of

school.

First you canceled the election.

Now you're trying to take me out of school?

You're ruining my life!

Ms. Blythe, please sit down.

I've already contacted your parents.

We've arranged for home tutors.

What if the killer moves on to other students?

Why can't you just shut down the entire school?

It would be a logistical nightmare, Barry.

There's only two other high schools in the area.

And they're both already over capacity.

Besides, there's a chance.

The killer's a student.

Who wants a killer transferring to their school?

I can't believe this.

This is outrageous.

Ms. Blythe.

Fine. Take me out of school.

Ruin my chances at valedictorian.

I don't care. I'll sue.

I'll sue the education system.

If you plan on signing my petition, I suggest you leave.

Petition for what?

To reinstate the election.

I thought the principal told you and Mary to leave.

You're putting everyone in danger by being here.

Seriously, Chelsea, did you hear how Billy died?

The killer burned her face with a hair straightener.

Look, until someone discovers a monster that's going to give me this and make me

gain ten pounds, I'm not going anywhere.

Come on, girl.

We have signatures together.

So the only legitimate suspect we have right now is Mr. Romer.

He quit right after people started turning up dead.

People were dropping like flies at my job. I'd quit too.

Yeah, but he has a reason to pin this on me.

Last year I caught him masturbating in his classroom after school.

And they almost fired him.

Joanna and I could go check out his house if you want.

No.

I don't want you doing anything with that girl, Barry.

Look. I know you have the hots for her and everything, but she is not who you

think she is.

That's everything you don't want to know about Joanna Boland.

Look, I could get in a lot of shit for giving you that, so don't tell anybody

where you got it, and please just trust me on this, okay? I appreciate

everything you've done so far, but I need you to stop.

It's just too dangerous.

Stay out of school and take the principal's offer.

It's for your own protection.

Madeline, I need a refill.

Madeline, what am I paying you for?

Madeline, where's my coffee?

Where were you?

What are you, my father?

The jig is up, Joanna.

You were arrested for assaulting a teacher?

Where did you get this?

Don't worry about it.

You backstabbing prick.

You don't trust me now.

Why'd you do it?

Fine, you wanna know? I had a teacher threaten to flunk me if I didn't fuck

So I broke his nose and threatened to cut his balls off.

Joanna, I'm sorry.

Joanna, wait.

Fuck off.

What are you doing in my house?

You'd like to hunt, Barry?

You see, I'm a hunter myself when I'm not teaching.

The trick is, you kill your prey with just one shot. One shot!

And this baby blows a hole in the thighs of Texas.

Don't worry, it's not loaded.

Pretty soon, there won't be anybody left.

Well, if it's a student, she's our girl.

Come on, Kurt. She's a nice girl.

With a criminal record.

I just... I wish we had something more substantial.

More physical evidence.

We do.

What?

I found these in all the victims' lockers.

It's not my handwriting.

How fucking long were you going to keep me in the dark about this?

I didn't want you to think I was the killer.

Killers are everywhere.

There's one in every church, in every school, in every neighborhood.

You want to catch one of these fuckers, you've got to think like one. You've got

to act like one.

You've got to be one.

And you, Cupcake, are no killer.

Do us both a favor. Leave the detective work to me.

That was Vice Pri - Sorry.

Principal Mackey. The county just okayed us to install the surveillance system.

About fuckin' done.

What do you want?

The girls and I found out about your little... incident.

Don't you just love the internet?

I took the liberty of sharing this little Kodak moment with the student

Some of them are even saying you're the killer.

Imagine that!

Jesus, Barry, what the hell are you doing?

I went to Romer last night.

Why?

What, did you think you were going to find the killer?

I didn't find him.

He found me.

And he killed him.

He killed Romer right in front of me. What?

Who was it, Barry? Who killed Romer?

The janitor was right. He did the eight blinking.

Only it wasn't a ghost. It was some fucking nut in a costume.

And the janitor said he lived here.

Come on, man.

We know what he looked like.

We know where he lived.

Open the door.

I know you have a key.

Not to this place.

I don't even know if there is a key.

Put the crowbar down, Barry.

Look, come with me back to my office.

I'll get a statement from you, then I'll check out rumors.

Promise.

You don't believe me?

Fine. If anyone else dies, the blood is on your hand, not mine.

tip that George Romer was killed in his home. You want to check it out?

Yeah.

Yeah, just let me know what you find.

George Romer?

Police!

George Romer?

George Romer?

A shocking end to a horror too terrible to describe.

Late last night, an anonymous tip led local law officials to the home of

Lincoln High School teacher George Romer.

What they found was Romer's body hanged from the ceiling and the bodies of the

missing Lincoln High School students and faculty.

Beneath Romer's body was a suicide note confessing his guilt for the murders.

Most of the bodies were burnt beyond recognition by a vat of sulfuric acid

stolen from the Lincoln High Science Department.

Our sources tell us that beloved teacher Leonard Wright and honor student Eddie

Mills had to be identified using only dental records.

And now for an on -the -scene report from our Lincoln High alumnus, Class of

Lisa Rose.

Sorry about that.

As you can see, we're having some... Can somebody get that?

Staffing issues.

I know the last few weeks have been tough for both of you. They've been

for all of us.

But the worst is over now.

How come everybody's so sure they caught this guy?

What if the cops were wrong?

Mr. Romer left a confession, Xenia.

The evidence was indisputable. Yeah? What if the evidence lied?

I know you're upset, Barry.

But we're safe now. And with that in mind, I'm reinstating the election.

I will inform your classmates over announcements, and the ballots will be

out during homeroom.

Today?

This morning?

I need more time.

What about our speeches?

You've been campaigning for weeks, my dear. I'm sure the students know who

they're going to vote for.

Now, you two get going. You have some last -minute campaigning to do.

Don't you know?

Never won.

principal nap

about this election is that it's not about politics. It's about popularity.

And I am the most popular, most influential student in school.

The student body could care less what I plan to do when I'm elected.

They're a bunch of worthless, pathetic losers.

When they leave this school, they'll all be forgotten.

But I will be remembered forever because I'm better than them and they know it.

And that is why I'm I'm going to win.

Where do you think you're going, young lady?

What the fuck are you doing outside?

Watch your mouth, Ms. Blythe, or I can have you thrown out of the election.

Students and teachers, we've tallied the votes and we're ready to announce our

new student council president.

Ladies and gentlemen, our new Lincoln High student council president is

Chelsea Blythe.

Is there anything else I can do for you?

Mr. President.

Chelsea won. That was awesome.

You guys really...

Hello? Principal Mackey?

Officer Kennedy?

Our sources tell us beloved teacher Leonard Wright had to be identified

only dental records.

Congratulations,

Madam President.

Best student in all of my time here at Lincoln.

I admire you, Chelsea.

When someone stands in your way, you strike them down into submission.

It's those cutthroat instincts that make you a natural board leader.

Who is that?

She's a gift.

Retribution.

girl, Chelsea.

What are you doing?

You killed all those people.

I killed them for you, Chelsea.

Out of the goodness of my heart.

You're a fucking maniac.

Don't say that, please.

Get away from me, you fucking monster!

Who's down there?

Don't make me shoot you!

You?

You killed all those people.

You killed your dog.

You loved that dog. Every war has its casualties.

We weren't supposed to be present.

Breaking a week -long silence, police have revealed the details surrounding

gruesome end to the Lincoln High School murders, and it's a story too

unbelievable to believe.

After faking his own death, Lincoln High School teacher Leonard Wright was found

responsible for the recent plague of homicides.

But the bizarre coincidence is... Don't end there.

Earlier this week, two Lincoln High School students confronted by Wright

retaliated and killed him, bringing this inconceivable story to a shocking end.

The students, whose names have not been...

And lastly, I

would not be standing here today if it wasn't for the support of the students

who voted for me.

My debt to you is beyond measure.

I know the student body is diminished, and I promise to honor the memory of the

friends we have lost.

We may never be able to go back to normal, but together, we can redefine

normal is.