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Music Applause
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How are you?
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Jack?
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Are you coming in for a coffee, mate?
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No, I don't think I will.
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It's half past eleven.
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Yeah, it's a bit late, isn't it?
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Yeah, your family's all gone to bed.
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No sign of life anyway.
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My family's no sign of life when they're awake.
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God blimey, this lot's been in bed two hours, mate.
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How can you tell?
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Listen, listen.
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God blimey.
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Takes them two hours to work up to that.
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Go on.
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They spend the first half hour tuning up.
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I'll see you tomorrow morning.
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Yeah, all right.
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Good night, mate.
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Shh.
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Oh, God blimey, this rotten thing's gone again.
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Shut up.
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What's that noise?
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What's that noise?
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What's that noise?
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Arthur!
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Arthur!
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Is Olive all right?
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Yeah, of course she's all right.
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I thought she might be having one of her funny days.
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What's the matter?
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What's it for?
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It's your brother got berserk in the toilet.
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What the hell are you doing in there?
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You're waggling me up.
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You're snoring louder than what that cistern is.
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Damn thing's gone wrong again.
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I can't stop it.
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You don't know how to do it, leave it to me.
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It needs a special sort of jerk.
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Oh, I was in a lovely sleep.
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Oh, I don't know.
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What's going on?
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What's the matter with the loo?
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Shh.
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The jerk's at work.
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He needs a delicate touch, I happen to have the knack.
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Not with everything.
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There you are, that's all right.
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All right?
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As soon as you let go, it starts again.
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Well, Stan, at least you know how to stop it.
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All you've got to do is hold the chain down.
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Oh, charming, I stand here all night holding the chain down.
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Oh, don't talk stupid, tie it down with a bit of string.
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Oh, no, if I have to come in here in the middle of the night, I can't, I'm
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tight, I'm doing knots.
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Not without any glasses, I can't.
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Which way are you going?
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It needs a good old jerk.
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Like this, a good yes.
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Oh.
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Stan, what have you done?
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I've pulled the chain off, haven't I?
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Oh, well, what are we going to do?
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I can't reach up there and I'm too old at my time of life to go standing on the
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seat.
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Well, I can fix it, I need a spanner.
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Spanner?
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We've got one in the bedroom under the bed, get it, Olive?
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You keep a spanner under the bed?
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What?
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Oh, Arthur's like that, he keeps some very peculiar things in his bedroom,
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don't you, love?
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You can say that again.
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Anyway, I need a torch and all.
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Oh, we've got one of them too.
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Eh?
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Torch and a spanner?
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I mean, there must be more to married life than I thought.
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Anyway, that old thing, I don't know how you've lived with it so long.
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No, he's right there, Ma, you know.
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Well, there's nothing wrong with that, your grandfather put that up with his
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own hands.
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Mum, he's been dead 50 years.
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Give us a hand up, give us a hand up.
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Hold it.
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What are you doing now, mate?
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Hold on, hold on.
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Hang on to it.
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Hang on a minute, I've got my foot down the pan.
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Hang me down that lid.
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Just come out of its seat, that's all that's happened to it.
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There.
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Keep going.
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Come on, Vince.
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I've got that.
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There, get that.
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That's it.
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Got it?
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Hang on, got the lid.
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That's right.
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Just come out of its seat, that's all.
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See if I can get hold of the...
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What's Dan doing?
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I'm washing me hands, you silly...
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Get the torch.
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There we are.
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Right.
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There, what can you see?
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Nothing, I've dropped the torch in it.
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You clumsy great idiot, I've just bought a new battery for that.
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Get it out.
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How can I get it out?
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I can't see it, you idiot.
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Its light's gone out.
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Well, put your hand in the water, fiddle about.
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Careful, Stan.
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I've got it ready.
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Got it?
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Oh, yeah.
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Look at that, it won't go on now.
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Well, I can't help that.
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Oh, Stan, you've dipped your rich spot in the water.
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I do in fact not a good...
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Shut your face.
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Get the spanner, get the spanner.
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I'll see if I can tighten up the nut on the bolt.
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Oh, Stan, you've cracked the basin.
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The pan was already cracked.
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Oh.
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Arthur, see if you can fish that spanner out.
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You what?
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You can't see any blue fish in there.
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Well, you...
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Oh, thank
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you very much, Jack.
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Sorry to be such a trouble.
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That's all right, it's a pleasure.
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Any time.
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See you, mate.
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Can I go over there now?
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Yeah, yeah, he's expecting you.
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Oh.
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This is ridiculous.
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Getting soaking wet every time you want to go out in the loo.
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You shouldn't have got up so late.
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It wasn't raining when I went.
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Yeah, well, I do not intend listening to the weather forecast every time I want
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to go.
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Well, it can be very embarrassing.
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I'm going to wait till I go down to the shops.
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It's nothing for it, we'll have to get a new one.
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It's going to cost a bit, you know.
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Mind you, we could use the old cistern and buy a new pan.
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Oh, no, if we're going to have a change, I want one of them low-level sweets.
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What on earth for?
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I don't want to pull it, I want to turn it.
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You're a snob, that's what you are.
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And besides, they cost a bomb.
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Well, most people in the street have got them.
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Anyway, I've got a little bit of money saved up for me high-level grill for the
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kitchen.
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Now, make up your mind, whether you want a high-level grill or a low-level loo.
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Well, most people have both these days.
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Well, you'll have to be different, won't you?
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You'll have to have a high-level loo and a low-level grill.
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Oh, welcome home.
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That was most embarrassing.
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As I walked down the street like this, the millman whistled at me.
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He most probably thought you was his horse.
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Ted!
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Don't say such things.
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Well, now, listen.
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What are we going to do about the loo?
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We'll all have to chip in.
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Chip in?
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You must be joking, mate.
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You broke it, you pay for it.
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Listen, mate.
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If you don't pay, you're wet.
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I'm going to lock it up so you can't use it.
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How childish you are.
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All right, then.
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You, me and Mum, we pay a third each.
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Oh, no, no, you.
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It's two of you, you and Olive.
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No, me and Mum will pay half, you pay half.
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You'll be lucky.
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All right, then.
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I'll lock it up so she can't use it.
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All right, I'll pay half.
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I suppose I owe it to her.
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Oh, thank you, love.
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You can have it for your birthday.
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I'll tell you what I'll do, love.
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I'll put some candles on the seat and we'll all gather round while you blow
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them out.
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Oh, boy.
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You mustn't say those things.
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Hey, listen, I just thought of something.
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There's a place on our route that have got all these toilets and baths.
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They've got them out on the pavement.
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You've seen them, haven't you?
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Do you know what?
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I reckon I can get one cheap.
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Oh, we could go and have a look.
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Oh, I want to go.
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In that case, I shall be there.
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I want to see how you're spending my money.
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Why don't we pack some grub and make a picnic of it?
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How about some sardine sandwiches?
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Oh, lovely.
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Well, here we are, Mum.
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Here.
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How about this one, then?
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What's the matter?
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Here.
220
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We don't have to choose it in the street, do we?
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Why not?
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Well, it's not very nice.
223
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Blimey, we're buying a pen.
224
00:09:55,770 --> 00:09:57,130
You're not trying on a dress, you know.
225
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Oh, come on, let's get on with it.
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There are plenty more inside.
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Oh, shut your face.
228
00:10:01,650 --> 00:10:02,630
How would I mean that?
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Oh, dear.
230
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Oh, lovely.
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Just pick out a dear one.
232
00:10:07,110 --> 00:10:07,970
That looks nice.
233
00:10:08,130 --> 00:10:08,450
I don't know.
234
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What a lovely colour.
235
00:10:10,130 --> 00:10:11,750
Ooh, I like that one.
236
00:10:12,230 --> 00:10:12,630
Ooh.
237
00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:14,210
That's not a proper one.
238
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That's plastic, isn't it?
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Look.
240
00:10:15,730 --> 00:10:16,390
Oh, no.
241
00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:17,290
I want a solid one.
242
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:18,710
I don't want them plastic ones.
243
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They catch fire.
244
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I've got you too tall.
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00:10:23,970 --> 00:10:24,890
Catch fire?
246
00:10:25,170 --> 00:10:25,370
Yeah.
247
00:10:25,570 --> 00:10:27,690
Well, if it catches fire, you just put the handle down.
248
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It puts it out, doesn't it?
249
00:10:29,590 --> 00:10:31,130
How do you open that catch fire?
250
00:10:31,290 --> 00:10:33,970
Well, you know how careless Olive is with her cigarettes.
251
00:10:34,410 --> 00:10:36,630
She burnt a big hole in the blanket the other day.
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That was in bed.
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I wouldn't fall asleep in there.
254
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You'd fall asleep anyway.
255
00:10:42,190 --> 00:10:44,510
Anyway, if it is plastic, it don't catch fire.
256
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It just melts.
257
00:10:46,110 --> 00:10:47,890
Well, that can be very embarrassing, can't it?
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00:10:48,550 --> 00:10:51,290
I mean, one minute you're sitting there, the next you're floating away on a sea
259
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of red-hot molten plastic.
260
00:10:53,730 --> 00:10:54,570
Oh, no.
261
00:10:54,910 --> 00:10:56,110
Now, I want a solid...
262
00:10:56,110 --> 00:10:56,610
Ooh.
263
00:10:56,910 --> 00:10:58,390
I like that one.
264
00:10:58,430 --> 00:10:59,350
Now, that's lovely.
265
00:10:59,410 --> 00:10:59,770
That is...
266
00:10:59,770 --> 00:11:00,690
That's O'Donnell.
267
00:11:01,130 --> 00:11:01,450
Oh, no.
268
00:11:01,510 --> 00:11:01,790
It's not.
269
00:11:01,830 --> 00:11:02,430
It's green.
270
00:11:03,710 --> 00:11:05,890
Anyway, it says he's a frustrated export.
271
00:11:06,470 --> 00:11:06,870
Export?
272
00:11:06,870 --> 00:11:07,930
Oh, Stan.
273
00:11:08,150 --> 00:11:08,310
What?
274
00:11:08,630 --> 00:11:11,490
If it's made for abroad, perhaps it won't work in England.
275
00:11:12,530 --> 00:11:14,050
What are you talking about?
276
00:11:14,330 --> 00:11:15,810
Well, like the cars.
277
00:11:16,190 --> 00:11:17,090
They're not the same.
278
00:11:17,390 --> 00:11:19,370
Well, if it pleases you, I'll put a notice on the back.
279
00:11:19,450 --> 00:11:21,010
Left hand drive, no hand signals.
280
00:11:22,470 --> 00:11:25,330
Well, it might be one of them metrical ones.
281
00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:27,610
You know, all different sizes.
282
00:11:28,530 --> 00:11:30,590
We're all different sizes, aren't we?
283
00:11:31,370 --> 00:11:32,290
I mean, you take Olive.
284
00:11:32,590 --> 00:11:33,890
She's got a great big fat...
285
00:11:33,890 --> 00:11:34,890
Stan, don't you dare.
286
00:11:36,310 --> 00:11:37,610
Oh, I mean, it's like...
287
00:11:37,610 --> 00:11:39,330
It's like Continental shoes.
288
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:40,610
I mean, they're all different.
289
00:11:41,110 --> 00:11:42,270
They're too narrow for me.
290
00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:44,710
Well, I'll get you a shoe on in case you get stuck.
291
00:11:45,390 --> 00:11:46,210
For God's sake.
292
00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:46,650
What's...
293
00:11:46,650 --> 00:11:47,750
Are we going to have this one or not?
294
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:48,290
Yes, yes.
295
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:49,550
For God's sake, let's have that.
296
00:11:49,730 --> 00:11:50,450
Lovely, lovely.
297
00:11:50,630 --> 00:11:51,050
Here, mate.
298
00:11:51,950 --> 00:11:52,950
We'll have this green one.
299
00:11:53,410 --> 00:11:56,390
Well, it's £8.15. Now, would you like a nice seat to go with it?
300
00:11:56,610 --> 00:11:58,410
Oh, doesn't it come with a lit seat?
301
00:11:58,510 --> 00:11:59,790
No, they're an optional extra.
302
00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:00,210
Oh.
303
00:12:00,430 --> 00:12:01,210
Wood or plastic?
304
00:12:01,350 --> 00:12:01,950
Take your choice.
305
00:12:02,070 --> 00:12:03,630
Oh, wood, it's much nicer.
306
00:12:03,630 --> 00:12:05,370
What do you mean, nicer?
307
00:12:05,670 --> 00:12:07,170
Oh, well, your wood.
308
00:12:07,330 --> 00:12:09,550
Look, that's nice and warm, isn't it?
309
00:12:09,850 --> 00:12:12,030
I mean, your plastic's all cold.
310
00:12:12,230 --> 00:12:13,790
You can get a rash from plastic.
311
00:12:14,010 --> 00:12:15,710
Alarm, are you done half-talking a load of rubbish?
312
00:12:16,070 --> 00:12:17,670
Well, it's like these nylon shirts.
313
00:12:18,290 --> 00:12:19,350
They don't breathe.
314
00:12:19,550 --> 00:12:21,630
You have them on a couple of hours and you're all clammy.
315
00:12:22,570 --> 00:12:24,590
We're not sitting on there for a couple of hours, are we?
316
00:12:25,150 --> 00:12:26,290
It has happened, mate.
317
00:12:27,290 --> 00:12:28,830
I wouldn't like a wooden one.
318
00:12:29,030 --> 00:12:31,890
I had a very unfortunate experience with a wooden one in Lowestoft.
319
00:12:31,890 --> 00:12:32,730
Do you remember, Arthur?
320
00:12:32,730 --> 00:12:33,770
Yes, yes, yes.
321
00:12:33,930 --> 00:12:35,310
I got a splinter from it.
322
00:12:35,310 --> 00:12:35,790
Do you remember?
323
00:12:35,790 --> 00:12:36,110
Yes, yes.
324
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:38,190
Now, look here.
325
00:12:38,270 --> 00:12:38,910
Let's make this...
326
00:12:38,910 --> 00:12:42,210
Now, if you really want a posh one, how about that blacken up there?
327
00:12:42,290 --> 00:12:42,930
It's got a lid on it.
328
00:12:43,170 --> 00:12:44,270
Oh, yes.
329
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:45,570
Now, that's lovely.
330
00:12:45,930 --> 00:12:46,670
Oh, yes.
331
00:12:46,870 --> 00:12:48,250
That's more discreet.
332
00:12:48,470 --> 00:12:51,690
I mean, look, this is like having your own front door, isn't it?
333
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:54,690
I'll put a knocker on it for you, shall we?
334
00:12:55,330 --> 00:12:56,790
Have you made up your minds?
335
00:12:56,870 --> 00:12:59,250
Yeah, we're going to have this greening and we'll have this blacken with the
336
00:12:59,250 --> 00:12:59,610
lid here.
337
00:13:00,430 --> 00:13:02,830
One assistant, but nothing dear, you know, a bit cheap.
338
00:13:04,070 --> 00:13:06,410
Right, you've got all the things that go with it, the pipes and all that?
339
00:13:07,190 --> 00:13:08,630
Yep, you'll find them all in there.
340
00:13:08,790 --> 00:13:10,010
Oh, that's lovely, isn't it?
341
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:10,390
Yes.
342
00:13:10,650 --> 00:13:11,770
How much is that then?
343
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:13,630
I'll tell you what I'll do.
344
00:13:13,770 --> 00:13:15,430
I'll let you have the lot for 15 quid.
345
00:13:15,590 --> 00:13:16,270
Oh, right.
346
00:13:16,510 --> 00:13:18,730
And can you send it round straight away, please?
347
00:13:18,910 --> 00:13:21,230
No, dear, we don't deliver, none of these prices.
348
00:13:21,610 --> 00:13:21,930
Eh?
349
00:13:22,730 --> 00:13:24,410
Are we going to get this home then?
350
00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:28,050
Well, I suppose I could do it for you myself, private.
351
00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:29,830
That'll cost you an extra 30 buck.
352
00:13:30,190 --> 00:13:31,890
But not for at least a week, you see.
353
00:13:31,970 --> 00:13:32,670
Oh, we can't...
354
00:13:32,670 --> 00:13:33,410
Not for a week?
355
00:13:33,810 --> 00:13:35,130
We can't wait that long.
356
00:13:35,230 --> 00:13:35,330
No.
357
00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:36,670
Here, cop your 15, nigger.
358
00:13:37,070 --> 00:13:38,290
Yes, fine, I'll take the lid.
359
00:13:38,870 --> 00:13:40,650
Now, one minute, how are we going to get this home?
360
00:13:40,670 --> 00:13:42,610
Well, I'm not forking out for a taxi, I'll tell you that.
361
00:13:42,970 --> 00:13:44,170
Oh, wait a minute, hang on.
362
00:13:44,790 --> 00:13:45,290
What's the time?
363
00:13:45,510 --> 00:13:45,730
Here.
364
00:13:46,530 --> 00:13:48,510
Oh, Jack, his bus is due in a couple of minutes.
365
00:13:48,590 --> 00:13:49,470
He'll let us get on with the lot.
366
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:50,890
Right, take the seat.
367
00:13:50,930 --> 00:13:52,430
I'll get the seat, I'll get the seat.
368
00:13:52,450 --> 00:13:53,570
I'll take that.
369
00:13:53,810 --> 00:13:54,350
Here, roll on in.
370
00:13:54,990 --> 00:13:55,310
Oh!
371
00:13:55,370 --> 00:13:56,450
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
372
00:13:56,450 --> 00:13:57,570
Oh, thanks, cop.
373
00:13:57,630 --> 00:13:58,590
Come on, mate, come on.
374
00:13:58,730 --> 00:14:00,370
Well, I hope you're satisfied now, then.
375
00:14:00,490 --> 00:14:01,690
Yes, that's lovely.
376
00:14:02,930 --> 00:14:04,390
All right, I'm coming, ain't I?
377
00:14:04,630 --> 00:14:05,730
Come on like that.
378
00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:10,530
Oh, look, Mum, there's a couple of seats down there.
379
00:14:10,690 --> 00:14:11,810
I'm all right, love.
380
00:14:12,010 --> 00:14:12,930
I've got me own.
381
00:14:14,190 --> 00:14:14,930
Hey, Jack, mate.
382
00:14:15,290 --> 00:14:16,890
You're not bringing that on this bus.
383
00:14:17,130 --> 00:14:17,370
Oi.
384
00:14:18,310 --> 00:14:18,750
Why not?
385
00:14:19,230 --> 00:14:21,910
This is a public conveyance, not a public convenience.
386
00:14:22,870 --> 00:14:24,250
I'm not having that on.
387
00:14:24,610 --> 00:14:26,750
Listen, mate, this is part of our shopping.
388
00:14:27,250 --> 00:14:28,990
Oh, no, no, I'm sorry.
389
00:14:29,490 --> 00:14:31,350
You're a right liberty taker, aren't you?
390
00:14:31,610 --> 00:14:34,330
I'll get a right rollicking from the inspector if I turn up at the depot with
391
00:14:34,330 --> 00:14:34,910
that on board.
392
00:14:35,230 --> 00:14:37,650
Look, all we wanted to do is drop you off at the bottom of our road.
393
00:14:37,670 --> 00:14:38,130
No, no.
394
00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:39,490
Why the hell didn't you have it sent?
395
00:14:39,810 --> 00:14:41,930
Because he said he'd take seven days to deliver it.
396
00:14:42,250 --> 00:14:43,650
Well, that's your hard luck, then, isn't it?
397
00:14:43,790 --> 00:14:44,730
All right, all right.
398
00:14:45,210 --> 00:14:46,130
Grab hold of that instead.
399
00:14:46,330 --> 00:14:47,070
Grab hold of it.
400
00:14:47,250 --> 00:14:49,030
If he doesn't mind, I'll just pop me round his place.
401
00:14:49,110 --> 00:14:50,670
Oh, what, for seven days?
402
00:14:51,370 --> 00:14:52,910
Blimey, I've had quite enough of that, thank you.
403
00:14:52,910 --> 00:14:55,070
Four of you queuing up and me lying fifth.
404
00:14:55,670 --> 00:14:56,990
All right, come on, then, bring it on.
405
00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:59,170
Stick it down there and I'll keep an eye on it.
406
00:14:59,250 --> 00:15:00,950
You'll have to go upstairs, we're full down here.
407
00:15:01,090 --> 00:15:01,430
It's all right.
408
00:15:01,750 --> 00:15:03,150
Hold very tight now, please.
409
00:15:35,730 --> 00:15:36,770
Oh, blimey, Hitler.
410
00:15:39,070 --> 00:15:40,950
Won't you give him a wash and brush up now, then?
411
00:15:42,710 --> 00:15:44,630
You are the attendant, I suppose, are you?
412
00:15:46,730 --> 00:15:49,030
What is this object here?
413
00:15:49,310 --> 00:15:50,630
Well, haven't you got one in your house?
414
00:15:52,430 --> 00:15:54,010
How did it get on the bus?
415
00:15:54,010 --> 00:15:56,510
Oh, well, someone must have slipped it on when I wasn't looking.
416
00:15:56,710 --> 00:15:56,890
Eh?
417
00:15:57,310 --> 00:15:57,710
Yeah.
418
00:15:58,270 --> 00:16:00,070
Or it slipped out of somebody's pocket, I suppose.
419
00:16:00,690 --> 00:16:02,390
Oh, hello, Blakey.
420
00:16:02,710 --> 00:16:03,490
Oh, yeah, this is mine.
421
00:16:03,950 --> 00:16:04,170
Butler?
422
00:16:06,270 --> 00:16:08,330
I might have guessed I'd find you behind that.
423
00:16:09,130 --> 00:16:10,930
What do you mean by bringing that object on the bus, eh?
424
00:16:11,710 --> 00:16:12,570
Well, what's the objection?
425
00:16:13,290 --> 00:16:13,690
Objection?
426
00:16:14,370 --> 00:16:16,370
You do know what it is, I suppose, don't you?
427
00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:18,330
Yeah, it's a large egg cup.
428
00:16:20,550 --> 00:16:21,210
Egg cup.
429
00:16:22,630 --> 00:16:24,670
I'd like to see the bird that could fill an egg with that.
430
00:16:25,510 --> 00:16:27,750
So would I, but I'd hate to be around when it was flying.
431
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:31,450
Get it off, come on.
432
00:16:32,290 --> 00:16:34,290
Anyway, listen, Jack let me on with it anyway.
433
00:16:34,670 --> 00:16:35,770
Well, he had no right to.
434
00:16:35,830 --> 00:16:36,390
Hang about.
435
00:16:36,490 --> 00:16:37,270
I know my rights.
436
00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:41,470
Rule 62, a conductor is allowed to use his discretion to let things on the bus.
437
00:16:41,630 --> 00:16:44,270
Yes, and an inspector can use his discretion to order them off.
438
00:16:44,490 --> 00:16:45,450
Get it off, come on.
439
00:16:45,710 --> 00:16:46,970
You had no right to put it on there.
440
00:16:47,770 --> 00:16:48,470
It's unhealthy.
441
00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:51,530
Look, mate, you're a bus inspector, not a sanitary inspector.
442
00:16:52,650 --> 00:16:55,170
Blimey, the way you were talking, anybody would think it was connected up.
443
00:16:56,050 --> 00:16:57,210
You heard what I said.
444
00:16:57,290 --> 00:16:58,250
Get it off there.
445
00:16:58,430 --> 00:16:59,770
You had no right to put it on there at all.
446
00:16:59,830 --> 00:17:01,090
It's obstructing the platform.
447
00:17:01,310 --> 00:17:02,110
Ah, ah.
448
00:17:02,790 --> 00:17:05,869
Rule 81, nothing will be carried which obstructs the platform.
449
00:17:06,369 --> 00:17:07,150
What's the order?
450
00:17:07,450 --> 00:17:08,609
Oh, it's him, Blakey.
451
00:17:08,890 --> 00:17:09,869
What's the matter now?
452
00:17:10,109 --> 00:17:12,950
This bus is not moving off until that closet's taken off.
453
00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:14,510
Oh, come on, come on, come on.
454
00:17:14,589 --> 00:17:15,470
Well, find some other way.
455
00:17:15,930 --> 00:17:16,690
Go on.
456
00:17:17,790 --> 00:17:18,849
You're enjoying this, aren't you?
457
00:17:19,050 --> 00:17:19,270
Yeah.
458
00:17:21,690 --> 00:17:23,450
I thought it was going to be a rotten day and all.
459
00:17:26,250 --> 00:17:27,550
Here, can we go now?
460
00:17:27,770 --> 00:17:28,470
No, hang about.
461
00:17:28,850 --> 00:17:30,510
I'm going to have a word with your driver, he's running late.
462
00:17:38,150 --> 00:17:39,150
I said he's gone.
463
00:17:39,330 --> 00:17:39,530
So?
464
00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:41,230
Well, let's stick it in the back of the bus.
465
00:17:41,330 --> 00:17:41,490
Aye.
466
00:17:41,710 --> 00:17:43,270
Stick it in the back of the bus.
467
00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:43,870
Oh, what happened?
468
00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:50,320
Here, come on.
469
00:18:04,370 --> 00:18:04,810
Hi.
470
00:18:05,350 --> 00:18:05,930
How are you?
471
00:18:07,290 --> 00:18:08,170
Here we are, then.
472
00:18:09,010 --> 00:18:09,630
Oh, yeah.
473
00:18:09,790 --> 00:18:10,310
Thanks very much.
474
00:18:10,450 --> 00:18:11,070
Thank you.
475
00:18:11,130 --> 00:18:11,710
That's all right.
476
00:18:11,970 --> 00:18:12,270
Bye, Marty.
477
00:18:12,910 --> 00:18:13,610
Give me another.
478
00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:19,450
There.
479
00:18:19,690 --> 00:18:20,090
Marty.
480
00:18:20,090 --> 00:18:20,830
Thank you very much.
481
00:18:20,870 --> 00:18:21,170
Thank you.
482
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:33,720
That's it.
483
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:34,180
Done it.
484
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:34,840
Lovely.
485
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:36,300
Hey, Mum!
486
00:18:36,540 --> 00:18:37,420
You can come and have a look.
487
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:38,260
I've finished it.
488
00:18:40,300 --> 00:18:41,140
Do you mind?
489
00:18:41,260 --> 00:18:41,880
I was here first.
490
00:18:41,940 --> 00:18:42,500
You get in the queue.
491
00:18:42,740 --> 00:18:44,260
Well, I was only just enquiring.
492
00:18:44,460 --> 00:18:44,880
Yeah, well, then.
493
00:18:45,580 --> 00:18:46,980
Are you sure you made the connections all right?
494
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:48,160
Don't be daft.
495
00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:50,040
Now, if you don't fancy it, mate, go elsewhere.
496
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:50,740
That's all.
497
00:18:50,740 --> 00:18:51,500
Listen, Mum.
498
00:18:51,860 --> 00:18:54,100
I've put this one in, and it's one of them nice, quiet ones.
499
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:55,380
You can hardly hear a sound.
500
00:18:55,700 --> 00:18:56,320
Do you come and listen?
501
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:56,800
Come and listen.
502
00:18:57,620 --> 00:18:57,880
All right.
503
00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:04,320
Why don't you keep quiet just when Stan's going to demonstrate?
504
00:19:04,940 --> 00:19:06,340
It's not a symphony concert.
505
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:07,360
We're not the Albert Hall.
506
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:10,300
Well, keep quiet while he does it.
507
00:19:18,460 --> 00:19:19,180
You ready?
508
00:19:19,180 --> 00:19:20,700
Who do you think you are?
509
00:19:20,780 --> 00:19:21,460
Are you Udi Menuhin?
510
00:19:22,220 --> 00:19:23,600
Will you be quiet?
511
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:24,460
Shh!
512
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:28,760
Is that it?
513
00:19:30,820 --> 00:19:32,620
No, that was me shushing him.
514
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:34,080
I haven't done it yet.
515
00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:34,800
I'm going to do it now.
516
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:35,180
Now, listen.
517
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:35,960
Here we go.
518
00:19:45,060 --> 00:19:46,420
Is it finished?
519
00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:49,260
Of course it's finished.
520
00:19:49,420 --> 00:19:50,060
That was it.
521
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:51,760
Oh, wasn't it lovely?
522
00:19:52,260 --> 00:19:54,820
Oh, and doesn't the seat look nice?
523
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,600
I'm glad we got that solid one.
524
00:19:56,900 --> 00:19:58,920
Oh, I've got a lovely little doily.
525
00:19:59,120 --> 00:19:59,920
Oh, no.
526
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:03,040
Very nice.
527
00:20:03,340 --> 00:20:04,480
Just finish it off.
528
00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:05,420
There, now.
529
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,740
Why don't you put the vase of flowers on it?
530
00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:11,460
And that picture of Dad in the silver frame, you know?
531
00:20:11,540 --> 00:20:13,160
Oh, Stan, how could you?
532
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:15,120
Well, it's a bit stupid, isn't it?
533
00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:18,320
I mean, the doily's going to fall off every time you lift a...
534
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,300
You're a great twit.
535
00:20:21,340 --> 00:20:22,240
You can't lift a seat.
536
00:20:23,060 --> 00:20:25,460
Oh, that could be very awkward, Stan.
537
00:20:25,620 --> 00:20:27,360
Well, you're going to need to be an acrobat, aren't you?
538
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:28,480
I ain't done it wrong.
539
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:29,840
It's a bit stiff, that's all.
540
00:20:30,260 --> 00:20:31,720
Maybe I'll go...
541
00:20:32,620 --> 00:20:33,340
Take it off.
542
00:20:33,420 --> 00:20:34,600
That's if we're ever going to use it.
543
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,380
Either that or put the doily and the flowers on.
544
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:37,540
We'll all go round the jacks.
545
00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:39,800
Oh, stop being funny.
546
00:20:40,180 --> 00:20:41,460
There's no need to take it off.
547
00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:44,240
Look, I've left a space here so an assistant can go back for it.
548
00:20:44,260 --> 00:20:44,960
That's all it is.
549
00:20:45,100 --> 00:20:46,580
I'll give it a push and that's it.
550
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:47,480
There we go, then.
551
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:48,040
Right.
552
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:48,260
Go on.
553
00:20:48,260 --> 00:20:48,360
Right.
554
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:48,460
Boom.
555
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:49,280
Oh.
556
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:49,880
Oh.
557
00:20:50,020 --> 00:20:50,340
Oh.
558
00:20:50,340 --> 00:20:50,520
Oh.
559
00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:50,800
Oh.
560
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:50,900
Oh.
561
00:20:50,900 --> 00:20:51,000
Oh.
562
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:54,920
Oh.
563
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:58,820
Turn it off.
564
00:21:01,700 --> 00:21:02,580
A feather.
565
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:07,420
The big one.
566
00:21:07,940 --> 00:21:08,380
The big one.
567
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:10,100
This is the one.
568
00:21:10,460 --> 00:21:11,040
Lift, lift.
569
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:12,440
I'll hold it, give it a twist.
570
00:21:13,020 --> 00:21:13,440
Oh!
571
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:17,920
No, put it out of the water, love, put it out of the water.
572
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:19,940
Oh, it's too late, I'll turn it off.
573
00:21:22,820 --> 00:21:24,520
Give us that spanner, I'll fix it.
574
00:21:24,540 --> 00:21:27,160
There's no water, I was just about to rinse my hair in the water.
575
00:21:28,660 --> 00:21:30,120
I'll turn it off, you'll have to wait.
576
00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:32,480
I can't, the shampoo's got dye in it.
577
00:21:32,540 --> 00:21:34,600
If I don't rinse my hair now, I'll be overdone.
578
00:21:35,020 --> 00:21:36,340
I didn't know you dyed your hair.
579
00:21:36,620 --> 00:21:37,340
I do.
580
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:38,680
I thought it was natural, Mouse.
581
00:21:38,980 --> 00:21:41,860
I don't know why.
582
00:21:42,020 --> 00:21:43,440
I know, it won't really fall out.
583
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,860
If it just does love, you can have a hairstyle like he's got.
584
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:49,700
Now go and turn it on, I'll fix it.
585
00:21:49,700 --> 00:21:49,920
I'll do it.
586
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:51,740
It's all done now, love.
587
00:21:51,740 --> 00:21:55,520
Now, Mum, it's all done, and I must say, ready for use.
588
00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:57,360
Oh, isn't it lovely?
589
00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:00,460
I've waited 25 years for this.
590
00:22:01,020 --> 00:22:01,440
Have you really?
591
00:22:01,700 --> 00:22:02,100
Yes.
592
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:03,280
Well, in that case, you'd better go first.
593
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:03,860
Oh, no.
594
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:06,940
I live for me low-level sweets.
595
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:07,600
Oh, yeah.
596
00:22:07,740 --> 00:22:11,140
Well, if it's all working now for you two, don't mind, I was here first.
597
00:22:11,300 --> 00:22:11,800
Oh, right.
598
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:13,340
Do you mind if I pick up me tools?
599
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:13,860
Yes, have a go.
600
00:22:14,020 --> 00:22:15,160
There you are, lovely boy.
601
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:16,280
There we are.
602
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:16,700
Right.
603
00:22:17,940 --> 00:22:19,280
Just be my guest.
604
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:19,740
Thank you.
605
00:22:20,460 --> 00:22:20,860
Lovely.
606
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:22,260
Excuse me.
607
00:22:22,540 --> 00:22:22,820
Right.
608
00:22:26,820 --> 00:22:29,280
You stupid fool, you can't shut the door.
609
00:22:30,820 --> 00:22:32,400
That's you, you low-level loo.
610
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:35,200
It makes the pan stick out so far, I can't shut the door.
611
00:22:35,260 --> 00:22:36,960
Well, can't you shove it in a bit more?
612
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:39,080
Not unless you want the other half in the street.
613
00:22:39,340 --> 00:22:40,440
Look, it's no good.
614
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:43,080
You'll never get a new one like the old one up there.
615
00:22:43,140 --> 00:22:44,420
Well, what are we going to do with this one?
616
00:22:44,460 --> 00:22:45,760
We've only just bought it.
617
00:22:46,180 --> 00:22:47,220
Advertise it, that's what I'll do.
618
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:48,380
I'll stick an advert in the paper.
619
00:22:48,380 --> 00:22:50,800
One owner, never been used, brand new.
620
00:22:51,900 --> 00:22:52,900
Well, think of something.
621
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:55,800
Yeah, well, meanwhile, we've got to make some arrangements for tomorrow
622
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:56,540
morning, haven't we?
623
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:10,760
Come on!
624
00:23:37,390 --> 00:23:37,910
Come on!
39466
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