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Twiggy Rathbone's Daily Crucible, in the
hands of its editor, Russell Spam, and
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00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:17,139
reporter Greg Kettle, has seized on
Father Teasdale's mild protest to stop
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00:00:17,140 --> 00:00:21,719
parish church being closed down and
blown it up into a major left -wing
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00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:26,399
story, despite managing editor Harry
Stringer's desperate efforts to maintain
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00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:27,580
the paper's integrity.
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00:00:28,490 --> 00:00:32,688
Reporter Bill Titler, meanwhile, has
received an anonymous tip -off that a
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00:00:32,689 --> 00:00:36,889
former mental patient who claimed to be
Khrushchev and who died during a live
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00:00:36,890 --> 00:00:38,710
television interview was murdered.
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00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:07,620
I wouldn't wrap chips in this edition,
Ross.
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00:01:08,090 --> 00:01:11,280
Why are we going on and on about this
poor man, Father Teasdale?
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00:01:11,870 --> 00:01:14,400
Twenty things you never knew about the
Pink Padre.
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One, he was born under the same star as
Lenin.
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00:01:18,850 --> 00:01:22,790
Two, his dental records are remarkably
similar to those of Ho Chi Minh.
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00:01:23,910 --> 00:01:27,950
Three, he has never formally denied
being a member of the Baader -Meinhof
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Hard facts, Harry!
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00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:34,840
It's not for us to brush tooth under the
carpet.
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00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,450
Harold Stringer.
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00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:44,319
Now, Mr Rathbone, only I'm in the middle
of some very pressing... Yes, all
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right, in your office.
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00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:50,480
First -rate job, Harry. This edition
marks a new pinnacle in journalism.
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00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:55,319
I'm very flattered, Mr Rathbone, but I
really don't feel... Flattery is the
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00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:59,659
floating cockroach in the milk of human
kindness. I didn't come here to butter
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you up.
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00:02:01,710 --> 00:02:02,970
Take a look at this.
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00:02:05,770 --> 00:02:10,090
That's a spitting image, isn't it?
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00:02:10,370 --> 00:02:15,970
Sunday's episode. I'll just fast forward
through and stop it anywhere at random.
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00:02:18,750 --> 00:02:20,610
Ah, come in, spare.
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00:02:21,270 --> 00:02:24,150
What's our latest gimmick to boost
circulation?
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00:02:24,810 --> 00:02:30,749
Well, how about this one, your most
tricky rathbonus? From tomorrow, with
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00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:34,900
copy. Daily Crucible, you get a free
naked lady.
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00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:36,940
Naked lady.
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00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:42,020
Yes, and you just open the paper like
this, and I'll drop the real line.
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00:03:03,980 --> 00:03:08,040
give away a free naked lady.
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00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:13,680
Oh, don't break, sir. I think I'm going
to have an orgasm.
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00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,400
I'm big enough, Harry. I can take it.
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00:03:19,020 --> 00:03:22,660
It's the royal family I feel sorry for.
They can't...
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00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:36,010
That kind of savage caricature's water
off a duck's back to me, Harry.
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00:03:36,011 --> 00:03:39,779
I shan't be after the blood of those
Oxbridge rejects with that schoolboy
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humour.
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00:03:41,380 --> 00:03:42,680
I can take a joke.
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00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:45,450
Morning, Mr Rathbun.
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00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:58,180
So, you and the editor were with
Kubelski in the green room for seven.
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You broke for supper, went on the air at
nine, and it... Two minutes past, the
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00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,880
old man was dead, apparently from a
heart attack.
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00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,480
Does all this really matter now, Bill?
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00:04:08,140 --> 00:04:11,560
The Khrushchev house is ancient history.
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00:04:11,980 --> 00:04:16,039
Suppose my contact's on the level.
Suppose he didn't die a natural death.
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00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:21,458
contact? A lobotomy case who rings you
up in underground car parks and calls
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00:04:21,459 --> 00:04:22,580
himself sore throat?
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00:04:24,260 --> 00:04:28,599
If we printed every story we got from
Cracks, there'd be no space left for the
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00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:29,650
real serious news.
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00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:33,700
Now, this is the one I want you to... I
want you to cover this one.
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00:04:34,060 --> 00:04:39,100
An old man in Falkirk who's got a ferret
that looks like Princess Margaret.
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Nice one, Russell.
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00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:46,220
Find some more and work it into a
feature.
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00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:50,380
The gerbil that looks like Viscount
Linley.
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00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:56,700
The natterjack toad that's a dead ring
of Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands.
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00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:02,819
Mr. Stringer did expressly say I was to
dig around in this one for a bit. Is
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00:05:02,820 --> 00:05:03,870
Andy out there?
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00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:07,939
Get him in here the moment he comes
back, will you? Now, the only people who
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00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:12,419
would get near Cabelgate were yourself,
the editor, the interviewer and the LWT
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00:05:12,420 --> 00:05:17,599
staff nurse. Do you really believe that
geriatric lunatic was murdered? Do you
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really believe nobody else would have
found out by now?
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00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:21,760
Do you believe anything?
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00:05:22,460 --> 00:05:24,140
I didn't believe he was Christian.
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00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:27,410
Ben!
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00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:30,209
What's the latest on Father Teasdale?
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00:05:30,210 --> 00:05:32,570
57 more priests on strike today,
Russell.
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00:05:32,950 --> 00:05:36,200
They see the threat to close St Ninian's
as the tip of the iceberg.
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00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:40,510
Of course, the church is denied having
any hit list, but then so did Henry
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There's a lot of priests still trying to
work normally, but being hampered by
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mass picketing.
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00:05:49,050 --> 00:05:52,829
I saw a christening today where the baby
had to be passed down a line of
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policemen like a rugby ball.
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00:05:55,560 --> 00:06:00,639
You stay with it, Greg, but whatever you
do, keep close tabs on Teasdale. He's
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the key to the whole story.
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00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,980
He looks a bit fierce, Mrs Beattie.
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00:06:05,260 --> 00:06:06,780
He doesn't bite, does he?
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00:06:07,220 --> 00:06:09,880
He's a guard dog, Father. Of course he
bites.
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00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:15,060
I didn't borrow him to run up to an
intruder and have his tummy tickled.
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00:06:17,450 --> 00:06:22,289
I'm going to give Lobo his supper.
Whatever you do, don't open the door to
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more reporters to hear me under any
circumstances.
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Come on. Of course I won't, Mrs Beattie.
Of course not.
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No.
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Goodness me.
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Oh, man.
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00:07:05,190 --> 00:07:06,240
Father,
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what are you doing? He's having a heart
attack. We must wrap him in a blanket
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and get an ambulance.
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00:07:11,630 --> 00:07:12,680
Let me in.
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You're obstructing a citizen from going
to his place of work.
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00:07:15,990 --> 00:07:20,310
I'll have your assets sequestrated for
this. Get out of this house.
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Stop it. Nothing, Father.
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Do away.
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Please go away. We don't like you. We
don't want you here.
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I'm frightfully busy. I can't possibly
talk.
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00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:07,780
No, actually, this time I came to talk
about... Mr. Kubelski, yes?
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00:08:07,781 --> 00:08:11,349
Well, I suppose someone told you I gave
him an injection before he went on the
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00:08:11,350 --> 00:08:14,030
air. All right. Yes, I did. What of it?
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00:08:14,031 --> 00:08:16,949
There's nothing sinister in that, is
there, Mr. Titler?
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Why does everyone keep hounding me?
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00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:20,890
For Christ's sake, leave me alone!
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00:08:22,370 --> 00:08:26,149
Oh, sorry to drag you from your work
again, Harry. This seems to have been
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delivered to my office completely by
mistake, not like a freelance submission
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for a TV column.
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00:08:31,290 --> 00:08:33,250
Libby Molesworth, bitch of the box.
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Freezy and biting, she comes out
fighting.
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At a glance, I'd say it was well worth
inclusion.
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A good comedy show on TV is like a drop
in the ocean. Spitting image is like a
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plop in the lavatory.
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00:08:47,510 --> 00:08:51,609
The most popular TV show was a cruel and
ugly rubber dolly purporting to
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represent the fine aquiline features of
Mr. Terence Rathbone, the distinguished
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millionaire philanthropist.
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00:08:59,250 --> 00:09:04,379
Lampoon it may be, but lampoons are the
embarrassing understain on the fabric of
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society.
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He pulls my punches, Harry.
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Quiet.
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Um... We have a slight problem here, Mr
Rathbun, in that the NGA have a work to
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rule on at the moment over manning
levels.
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00:09:20,300 --> 00:09:26,579
And, um, if, heaven forbid for Ms
Molesworth turned out not to be a member
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the NUJ, I'm afraid they'd simply refuse
to set the copy.
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00:09:31,841 --> 00:09:38,789
If we did run the column, there are some
malicious -minded people who might
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00:09:38,790 --> 00:09:43,050
think we only printed it so that you
could get your own back on spitting
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00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:47,180
Finish the thought, Harry. I've no axe
to grind with that heap of excrement.
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00:09:48,610 --> 00:09:51,410
So, if that's all, sir.
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00:09:51,411 --> 00:09:55,109
Only I do seem to be spending an awful
lot of my time up here just lately when
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really I ought to be attending to
matters on the paper.
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00:09:58,230 --> 00:10:02,490
I agree, Harry. Next time, don't bother
me unless it's important. Good morning.
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00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:07,830
Supposing someone did want to bump the
old man off.
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00:10:07,831 --> 00:10:11,739
They get the studio enough to slip
something into the insulin jab, then put
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00:10:11,740 --> 00:10:13,739
frighteners on him to make sure he
doesn't talk.
132
00:10:13,740 --> 00:10:16,080
Yes, but, Howard, don't you ever stop
eating.
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00:10:17,580 --> 00:10:22,479
No disrespect, but this is just the sort
of deep scandal expose I cut my teeth
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00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:24,650
on as a cub reporter for the Osmistry
comic.
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00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:31,639
The first question you've got to answer
is, if Kubelki was poisoned, why didn't
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it show up at the post -mortem?
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00:10:33,141 --> 00:10:36,549
If only there was some way we could find
out what was in the pathologist's
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report. You could try reading it.
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00:10:40,990 --> 00:10:42,190
That's one possibility.
140
00:10:43,550 --> 00:10:44,810
How did you get hold of it?
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00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:47,150
Made down at the coroner's office.
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00:10:47,470 --> 00:10:50,110
As you can see, cause of death, heart
failure.
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00:10:50,111 --> 00:10:52,749
Maybe worth having a word with the
doctor, though.
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I thought I'd pay him a call tomorrow
morning.
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Yes.
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Right. This is very interesting, though.
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00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:02,689
That's it.
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00:11:02,690 --> 00:11:04,870
Shettles. Still out on the Teasdale
story.
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00:11:05,230 --> 00:11:07,370
I think he's found some new angle on it.
150
00:11:07,950 --> 00:11:09,090
That's what worries me.
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00:11:11,110 --> 00:11:13,290
A short history of werewolves?
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00:11:14,610 --> 00:11:16,370
The werewolf of serious studies.
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00:11:17,790 --> 00:11:21,040
Lycanthropes and man -beasts, do they
exist in modern society?
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00:11:22,710 --> 00:11:26,140
Ridiculous. Even Kettle couldn't work
these into a newspaper story.
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00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:34,460
So, in the last 25 years, that's 548
legs of lamb, 139 necks of lamb,
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274 shoulders of lamb, 141 lambs'
livers.
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00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:44,879
In other words, if we put all these
together, Father Teasdale has, to your
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00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:50,360
certain knowledge, devoured no fewer
than 137 dead sheep.
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00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:52,660
Don't mind the questions.
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00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:55,560
Out of the way, please, my dear. The
Majesty's breath.
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Can't I ever have an early night,
Russell?
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00:11:58,391 --> 00:12:01,699
Can't I ever leave this building before
the press is rolled without you
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committing this sort of front -page
atrocity?
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00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:07,860
I agree, Harry, the layout's an
abortion. We were pushed for time.
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00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:12,299
I'm not talking about the layout,
Russell. As you well know, I'm talking
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00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:15,580
this. Ted the Red in Wolfman Riddle.
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00:12:17,290 --> 00:12:21,290
Grey Kettle probes the ghastly goings
-on in St Ninian's churchyard.
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00:12:21,291 --> 00:12:26,089
Speculation was growing today that
militant left -wing clergyman Father
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00:12:26,090 --> 00:12:28,170
may be hiding a grim and grisly secret.
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00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:32,889
I offer no rational explanation for the
macabre events that transpired when I
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called on him two nights ago. Let
readers judge for themselves.
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Fact.
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00:12:39,390 --> 00:12:43,709
Seconds after Teasdale had disappeared
from view, a hideous wolf -like beast
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materialised in the hallway...
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savage me to death.
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00:12:48,730 --> 00:12:52,869
Fact. Teasdale and the wolf -like
creature were never seen together at the
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time.
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00:12:54,210 --> 00:12:59,869
Fact. It was a night with a full moon.
Fact. The wolf was still wearing a dog
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collar.
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00:13:03,490 --> 00:13:05,970
The word flimsy seems woefully
inadequate.
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00:13:07,270 --> 00:13:08,320
I agree, Harry.
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00:13:08,950 --> 00:13:11,590
But sensationalism for sensationalism's
sake.
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00:13:12,310 --> 00:13:18,259
The crucible's duty is to give fair
on... highest coverage to all citizens,
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00:13:18,260 --> 00:13:20,910
they rich or poor, black or white, human
or werewolf.
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00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,300
Precisely. That's why he is not a
werewolf.
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00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:28,499
There's no such thing as werewolves. I
want a full retraction on this in
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00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:29,379
tomorrow's paper.
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00:13:29,380 --> 00:13:30,430
And no arguments.
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You see?
190
00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:33,750
Look at this.
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00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:36,010
Letters of complaint flooding in
already.
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00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:39,750
I was appalled by such callous treatment
of such an innocent man.
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00:13:39,940 --> 00:13:44,120
A spiteful attack that charted new
dimensions of bad taste.
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00:13:44,121 --> 00:13:47,619
I refer, of course, to the hideous
puppet of Mr Terence Frathbone that
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00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:48,670
the nation's TV.
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00:13:49,740 --> 00:13:52,080
Are all these letters about spitting
image?
197
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:54,790
Came in this morning. Three shackfuls of
them.
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00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:57,290
They all seem to be in the same
handwriting.
199
00:13:58,820 --> 00:14:00,240
I'm no expert, Harry.
200
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,240
And there's no address on any of them.
201
00:14:03,620 --> 00:14:05,040
You know our rule, Russell.
202
00:14:05,700 --> 00:14:08,820
If we can't check them out, we don't
publish them.
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00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:11,520
Are you sure you don't spike them?
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00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:13,890
Greg?
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00:14:14,570 --> 00:14:15,620
I want a word.
206
00:14:18,690 --> 00:14:21,050
So, you examined Mr.
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00:14:21,290 --> 00:14:22,550
Kabelsky's body, Doctor.
208
00:14:23,290 --> 00:14:25,270
What exactly did you come up with, then?
209
00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:26,750
Come up with?
210
00:14:27,110 --> 00:14:30,050
It was a post -mortem, Mr. Titler, not a
lucky dip.
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00:14:32,370 --> 00:14:34,210
One follows a precise procedure.
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00:14:34,810 --> 00:14:41,030
First, you fold back the skin and
muscles, expose the thoracic cavity.
213
00:14:42,010 --> 00:14:43,370
Then you look at the heart.
214
00:14:44,060 --> 00:14:46,890
As you can see, this is a perfectly
sound and healthy one.
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00:14:46,980 --> 00:14:48,240
That's lucky there, Nick.
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00:14:49,700 --> 00:14:53,600
No problem with the pumping action here.
Now just you give that a squeeze.
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00:15:14,220 --> 00:15:15,270
if I recall.
218
00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:18,660
His heart was more like a deep frozen
pizza.
219
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:21,720
Hard and emaciated.
220
00:15:23,140 --> 00:15:24,460
You all right, Mr. Titler?
221
00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:27,130
Yes, I'm fine.
222
00:15:29,540 --> 00:15:31,580
I'm supposing someone had been poisoned.
223
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:33,280
How would you find that out?
224
00:15:33,281 --> 00:15:36,899
Send some blood samples down to the PATH
lab. They'd run various tests.
225
00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:38,599
You did that with Kabelsky, did you?
226
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:42,719
I've already told you, Mr. Titler. One
look at his heart was enough to tell me
227
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:43,770
what he died of.
228
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:45,970
so it wasn't necessary to make blood
tests.
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00:15:45,971 --> 00:15:49,519
Besides, one can tell a great deal about
the state of the blood from a liver
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00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:54,679
biopsy. Now, if I just take a big
slice...
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00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:59,879
First
232
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:05,760
time you've examined a dead body, I take
it.
233
00:16:06,140 --> 00:16:08,500
Well, I did once interview Selina Scott.
234
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,240
I've answered all your questions.
235
00:16:17,540 --> 00:16:19,770
Yes, thanks very much for your help,
Doctor.
236
00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:22,080
Oh, sorry, there was just one thing.
237
00:16:22,081 --> 00:16:26,439
Kabelsky was, of course, a diabetic.
That has nothing at all to do with his
238
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:29,120
death. You know, lack of, um, whatever
it is, insulin.
239
00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:30,579
You're certain about that?
240
00:16:30,580 --> 00:16:33,779
Perfectly certain. There was no evidence
of insulin deficiency at all.
241
00:16:33,780 --> 00:16:36,310
How do you know if he didn't carry out a
blood test?
242
00:16:36,311 --> 00:16:39,999
Oh, of course, the studio knows. She'd
only just given him a fresh dose half an
243
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,470
hour before, hadn't she? Yes, yes,
that's right.
244
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:44,660
How you stick this job beats me, Doctor.
245
00:16:44,661 --> 00:16:48,139
You know, half an hour I've been here
and it's already affecting my brain. Do
246
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:51,450
you know, a minute ago, I thought I saw
that corpse over there move.
247
00:16:52,820 --> 00:16:53,870
Pathetic, isn't it?
248
00:16:53,871 --> 00:16:55,199
Anyway, bye.
249
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:56,250
Thanks again.
250
00:17:04,500 --> 00:17:06,800
You asked us to print a retraction,
Harry.
251
00:17:07,380 --> 00:17:09,910
It took me four and a half hours to find
it, Russell.
252
00:17:11,660 --> 00:17:12,710
Three across.
253
00:17:13,069 --> 00:17:15,050
He is not really a werewolf.
254
00:17:18,910 --> 00:17:21,829
I agree, Harry. Shab is not the word for
it.
255
00:17:22,470 --> 00:17:28,249
Shabs must have misheard my
instructions. I said, print it on page
256
00:17:28,250 --> 00:17:29,300
three columns.
257
00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:32,790
They must have thought I said, make it
into a crossword clue.
258
00:17:35,110 --> 00:17:38,370
Have you any idea what it's like, Mr.
Stringer?
259
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:42,380
To get threatening phone calls from
sheep farmers in Inverary.
260
00:17:43,060 --> 00:17:47,899
Mrs. Beattie, I really am... To wake up
in the middle of the night and find the
261
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:52,560
local Tory party agent trying to fire a
silver bullet through the window.
262
00:17:54,680 --> 00:18:00,580
He's a frightened man, Mr. Stringer. He
just sits here all day long,
263
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:04,260
convinced he can see the hair growing on
his hands.
264
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:11,209
We will be making full reparations. I am
personally writing a long and detailed
265
00:18:11,210 --> 00:18:14,829
apology, which will appear prominently
right across tomorrow's front page.
266
00:18:14,830 --> 00:18:19,350
At this time, I assure you, the Daily
Crucible will emerge with honour.
267
00:18:20,050 --> 00:18:22,950
There must be some reason for this, Mr
Rathburn.
268
00:18:23,690 --> 00:18:27,969
I mean, if our advertising rates are too
high, we could... Is there something
269
00:18:27,970 --> 00:18:29,029
wrong with your hand?
270
00:18:29,030 --> 00:18:31,950
Just a touch of writer's cramp. Anyway,
my mind's...
271
00:18:33,310 --> 00:18:37,649
This week I shall be cancelling all our
peak -time TV commercials for the
272
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:41,070
following products. Rat bite dairy
assortment.
273
00:18:41,470 --> 00:18:43,530
Rat cake Yorkshire bitter.
274
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:49,390
Rat race sports cycles oil of rat baby
lotion. Rat American airways.
275
00:18:50,490 --> 00:18:51,750
Rat 69.
276
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:58,650
Two cyber -rich rat brand breakfast
flakes. You see, to be frank, Mr.
277
00:18:58,790 --> 00:19:01,210
I'm worried about our brand image.
278
00:19:02,110 --> 00:19:03,160
Brand image.
279
00:19:03,161 --> 00:19:06,169
The name of Rat House is a byword for
quality and integrity.
280
00:19:06,170 --> 00:19:11,249
Attributes not currently shared, I'm
afraid, by the programs put out from
281
00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:12,229
TV station.
282
00:19:12,230 --> 00:19:16,209
Programs? I'm not thinking out any one
show in particular. You've only got to
283
00:19:16,210 --> 00:19:22,989
open the TV Times any day of the week to
see the sort of garbage I'm talking
284
00:19:22,990 --> 00:19:24,040
about.
285
00:19:26,350 --> 00:19:27,400
Ah.
286
00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:32,020
Champagne!
287
00:19:36,501 --> 00:19:42,009
Don't blame yourself, Harry. It could
happen to anyone.
288
00:19:42,010 --> 00:19:43,749
How could they do this to me, Russell?
289
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:44,890
What does it look like?
290
00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:50,049
Recent articles in the Crucible have
suggested that Father Edward Teasdale
291
00:19:50,050 --> 00:19:51,790
be preyed for supernatural forces.
292
00:19:52,190 --> 00:19:57,210
Today, executive managing editor Harold
Stringer sets out the fact in Mr.
293
00:19:57,290 --> 00:19:58,340
Teasdale's defense.
294
00:19:59,630 --> 00:20:01,110
Nothing! A complete lie!
295
00:20:02,319 --> 00:20:06,289
They all think it's a gimmick that we're
refusing to apologise. It's a disaster.
296
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:12,000
You weren't to know, Harry, that your
NUJ membership had just expired.
297
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,260
By three days, Russell.
298
00:20:15,900 --> 00:20:17,820
If they'd told me, I could have renewed.
299
00:20:17,821 --> 00:20:20,579
When comps worked to rule, they worked
to rule. The copy was black. There was
300
00:20:20,580 --> 00:20:22,020
nothing I could do about it.
301
00:20:22,620 --> 00:20:25,570
I often wonder if I should have died
while I was still young.
302
00:20:27,940 --> 00:20:28,990
Spam?
303
00:20:28,991 --> 00:20:30,719
Oh, yes.
304
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,640
He's right here, Mr Rathbone.
305
00:20:34,620 --> 00:20:38,539
Oh, for goodness sake, sir, if I hear
one more syllable about spitting image,
306
00:20:38,540 --> 00:20:40,539
won't be responsible for my... Spitting
image?
307
00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:42,400
I'm over that one now, Harry.
308
00:20:43,220 --> 00:20:44,860
I'm just being an old fellow.
309
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,620
Where are we if we can't laugh at
ourselves?
310
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:51,779
This show's a real tonic. All good,
clean harm is fine. I can't wait to see
311
00:20:51,780 --> 00:20:53,100
tomorrow night's episode.
312
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:54,250
This is...
313
00:21:04,270 --> 00:21:05,590
Dog was in here, that one.
314
00:21:06,490 --> 00:21:09,090
You spent for me your constant arrest,
miss.
315
00:21:09,350 --> 00:21:11,640
Let me massage your buttocks with my
tonsils.
316
00:21:11,930 --> 00:21:13,470
Tom, you grubby little hack.
317
00:21:14,670 --> 00:21:19,070
What do you mean by filling my paper
with these outrageous whoppers?
318
00:21:19,690 --> 00:21:22,580
They are a bit lumpy round the nipples,
aren't they, sir?
319
00:21:22,930 --> 00:21:28,810
What are these whoppers? Labour Party
rocked by new vampire scandal.
320
00:21:29,090 --> 00:21:33,050
Leader of the opposition admits I sucked
the blood out of babies.
321
00:21:33,370 --> 00:21:34,420
Yum, yum.
322
00:21:36,010 --> 00:21:41,569
The UC's general secretary is a Martian.
New report says the busts are the
323
00:21:41,570 --> 00:21:43,350
people's chests at dinner parties.
324
00:21:43,650 --> 00:21:47,629
How can you ever forgive me your
ineffableness? I'll just slice my head
325
00:21:47,630 --> 00:21:49,920
a chainsaw. Don't make fun about it,
Stringer.
326
00:22:15,659 --> 00:22:16,979
Approximately bugger all.
327
00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:20,790
The nurse who gave the old boy the
injection is too scared to open her
328
00:22:20,791 --> 00:22:24,479
And the pathologist who examined the
body almost certainly faked a report to
329
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:26,019
make it look like a natural death.
330
00:22:26,020 --> 00:22:28,070
It's a bloody brick wall everywhere I
go.
331
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:32,299
And quite frankly, I'm getting a bit
pissed off lurking around here in the
332
00:22:32,300 --> 00:22:34,710
of night like something out of Smiley's
People.
333
00:22:35,500 --> 00:22:37,610
I wouldn't mind answer to a few
questions.
334
00:22:37,611 --> 00:22:42,139
Like, who's the bloke with the shoes who
keeps getting to everyone before I do
335
00:22:42,140 --> 00:22:43,190
and nobbling them?
336
00:22:57,080 --> 00:23:04,039
Terrific. Can't you see it yet, Mr
Titler, how big
337
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,320
this is?
338
00:23:06,140 --> 00:23:13,020
Ask yourself, who would have this many
people in his pocket?
339
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:18,960
Who is there with the power, the
influence,
340
00:23:19,360 --> 00:23:21,020
the money?
341
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:22,530
All right.
342
00:23:22,700 --> 00:23:25,240
How about the answer to this one?
343
00:23:25,930 --> 00:23:26,980
Who are you?
344
00:23:27,090 --> 00:23:29,680
And how come you know so much about all
this anyway?
345
00:23:29,890 --> 00:23:31,110
And... Hello?
346
00:23:31,950 --> 00:23:33,000
Hello?
347
00:23:34,910 --> 00:23:36,450
So off -throat is it now?
348
00:23:36,451 --> 00:23:41,009
Now don't tell me you've been discussing
our little affairs with the newspaper.
349
00:23:41,010 --> 00:23:43,370
I wasn't awfully sensible of you, was
it?
350
00:23:45,070 --> 00:23:47,030
Stay away from me, Keith.
351
00:23:50,090 --> 00:23:51,650
Stay away from me.
352
00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:29,249
Don't do that, Kate. you'll find
disaster, servant killing of his master,
353
00:24:29,250 --> 00:24:31,270
story with some sordid sex to steal.
354
00:24:32,350 --> 00:24:35,900
Someone's secrets we have grabbed,
famous facts that we have stabbed.
355
00:24:36,090 --> 00:24:37,170
Now you know what...
356
00:24:37,220 --> 00:24:41,770
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