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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,690 --> 00:00:11,929 Multi -millionaire Terence Twiggy Rathbone has bought the Daily Crucible 2 00:00:11,930 --> 00:00:17,489 newspaper and appointed Russell Spam as its new aggressive editor, while former 3 00:00:17,490 --> 00:00:20,530 editor Harry Stringer has been rehoused in the office lift. 4 00:00:21,150 --> 00:00:25,429 Reporter Greg Kettle, meanwhile, has discovered ex -Soviet leader Nikita 5 00:00:25,430 --> 00:00:27,790 Khrushchev alive in Switzerland. 6 00:00:55,210 --> 00:00:56,890 What would you like, Mr. Rathbone? 7 00:00:57,190 --> 00:01:01,130 I think I'll have the Chattoria Maritimo. 8 00:01:01,950 --> 00:01:03,430 That's the restaurant, sir. 9 00:01:05,209 --> 00:01:06,710 Yes, that's what I'll have. 10 00:01:07,210 --> 00:01:11,170 Well... Acquisitive as ever, Adrian. 11 00:01:12,330 --> 00:01:16,709 You know, I often think it's a good thing that the government don't find out 12 00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:18,910 about your little business manoeuvres. 13 00:01:20,110 --> 00:01:21,630 Quite so, Prime Minister. 14 00:01:22,110 --> 00:01:23,930 Talking of which, Mr. Rathbone... 15 00:01:23,931 --> 00:01:27,389 There was the most extraordinary demonstrations going on down in the 16 00:01:27,390 --> 00:01:28,089 we came in. 17 00:01:28,090 --> 00:01:31,530 Something about cheap labour in your South American mind. 18 00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:35,130 Propaganda, Mrs McNamara. Left -wing crazies at work. 19 00:01:35,590 --> 00:01:40,729 Well, it says here, some of your labourers are digging the mineral out of 20 00:01:40,730 --> 00:01:42,210 rocks with their bare hands. 21 00:01:42,490 --> 00:01:45,310 I believe in a return to Victorian values. 22 00:01:45,850 --> 00:01:50,529 Yes, of course. It's just that, well, in a uranium mine... Health risks are 23 00:01:50,530 --> 00:01:52,430 minimised, Prime Minister. 24 00:01:53,070 --> 00:01:56,530 Every worker is issued with his own asbestos suit. 25 00:01:57,970 --> 00:01:59,020 Yes. 26 00:01:59,770 --> 00:02:03,310 Anyway, you've made it into Queen Street at last, I see. 27 00:02:03,311 --> 00:02:07,029 The newspapers are the cow dung in the field of communications, Mrs. McNamara, 28 00:02:07,030 --> 00:02:10,430 but they have their uses. 29 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:13,410 Unpredictable, these two. 30 00:02:13,590 --> 00:02:18,010 Take our bill next week on the restoration of capital punishment. 31 00:02:19,730 --> 00:02:22,330 Signs are it's going to be a very close thing. 32 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:26,700 All it needs is a slight nudge in public opinion. 33 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:31,280 I think I catch your drift, Franklin. 34 00:02:31,980 --> 00:02:37,760 Of course, I have no control over the Daily Crucible's political view. Oh, 35 00:02:37,780 --> 00:02:38,830 whatever. 36 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:44,259 I have no control over any inquiry into South American operations when it comes 37 00:02:44,260 --> 00:02:45,310 to that. 38 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:50,999 No, no, no, I'm quite sure that your record on human rights is utterly 39 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,050 blemish. 40 00:02:58,060 --> 00:03:00,120 What would you like to start with, Russ? 41 00:03:05,831 --> 00:03:07,319 A 42 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:13,999 good 43 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,299 journalist knows how to protect his story, Harry. There's some right 44 00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:18,500 Fleet Street these days. 45 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:21,400 I still say this is madness, Russ. 46 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:23,820 Everyone knows Khrushchev died in 1971. 47 00:03:24,220 --> 00:03:25,320 In obscurity. 48 00:03:26,239 --> 00:03:29,220 What proof did the world ever have that he was really dead? 49 00:03:29,620 --> 00:03:31,080 Oh, for God's sake, Russell. 50 00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:35,190 Why don't we say we found Trotsky and Rasputin as well at McDonald's? 51 00:03:42,340 --> 00:03:43,480 Mr. Newstead? 52 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:45,530 Is he still alive? 53 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:48,570 I'm not disgusted. It didn't seem rather personal. 54 00:03:48,660 --> 00:03:51,190 He does look a bit like Chris Chopper, doesn't he? 55 00:03:51,191 --> 00:03:53,079 But we've still got to prove it, Russell. 56 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:54,399 We've got to have hard evidence. 57 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,960 We'll have the evidence, Harry. 58 00:03:55,961 --> 00:03:59,419 If this checks out, it won't be dynamite, it'll be thermonuclear. 59 00:03:59,420 --> 00:04:00,679 Get it to tell us everything. 60 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:02,360 Politics, the power, the passion. 61 00:04:02,780 --> 00:04:05,840 Born again, Supremo spills sex secrets. 62 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,680 Russell Reed, black from dead red. 63 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:10,580 Lift lid on loves and lust. 64 00:04:11,260 --> 00:04:12,940 There's never been a story like it. 65 00:04:12,941 --> 00:04:17,739 I'm impressed, Russell. You've certainly done your homework on this one. 66 00:04:17,740 --> 00:04:20,510 They've been over it with a fine -toothed scalpel, sir. 67 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:23,500 Every square molecule of it. The man is crucial. 68 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,480 You're looking queasy, Harry. What's the matter? 69 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:34,679 Well, these Sovietologists certainly argue a cogent case, I agree, but I 70 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,239 pretend I don't have reservations. 71 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:39,370 Reservations are the condoms in the birth of new ideas, Harry. 72 00:04:39,371 --> 00:04:44,159 When I take over a business, I take the back seat. Right, Russell? 73 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:44,999 Right, sir. 74 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:48,459 Your policy of less affair is a beacon of inspiration to all Fleet Street. 75 00:04:48,460 --> 00:04:50,690 People are calling you the new Roy Thompson. 76 00:04:52,570 --> 00:04:59,390 I trust that man implicitly, Harry. He's young, he's new, he has a fresh view. 77 00:05:00,090 --> 00:05:03,650 He can smell a soup when he sees one. 78 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:31,600 Just to warn you, Stampede 7, the Iran -Iraq peace initiative, it's been 79 00:05:31,980 --> 00:05:33,900 Yeah, there's a replacement on its way. 80 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:36,620 Love -tug budgie and millet -dope riddle. 81 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:39,100 You know, 82 00:05:45,900 --> 00:05:50,680 I think I may have managed to convince myself, Max. 83 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:52,120 What about Khrushchev? 84 00:05:52,340 --> 00:05:54,440 After all, the most distinguished... 85 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,630 experts in the country are prepared to go on the record? 86 00:05:58,700 --> 00:06:00,100 Maybe I've misjudged Spam. 87 00:06:00,620 --> 00:06:04,760 I mean, perhaps, deep down, he's actually a... My godfathers, what are 88 00:06:04,761 --> 00:06:07,679 Artwork samples for the hanging spread. 89 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:09,680 Hanging spread? What hanging spread? 90 00:06:09,980 --> 00:06:14,579 New rush job to coincide with the Commons vote on Monday. There's the memo 91 00:06:14,580 --> 00:06:15,630 Spam. 92 00:06:17,140 --> 00:06:19,600 Should we reinstate the rope for rippers? 93 00:06:20,190 --> 00:06:24,349 or let homicidal psychopaths prowl the streets on probation, the crucible 94 00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:26,640 carefully considers both sides of the issue. 95 00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:30,150 Who's on this, as if I didn't know? 96 00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:32,960 Kettle and Bill Titler left a couple of hours ago. 97 00:06:32,961 --> 00:06:36,549 Greg says something about a brilliant new angle he wanted to chase up. You 98 00:06:36,550 --> 00:06:38,909 haven't put young Titler onto a story with Greg Kettle? 99 00:06:38,910 --> 00:06:40,730 And I had such high hopes for that boy. 100 00:06:46,631 --> 00:06:54,159 We've come here to talk to the relatives of a murder victim, is that right? Not 101 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:55,960 the relatives of a murder victim, no. 102 00:06:56,620 --> 00:06:58,120 The friend of a murder victim? 103 00:06:58,121 --> 00:07:00,379 Not exactly the friend of a murder victim, no. 104 00:07:00,380 --> 00:07:03,180 We have come here to talk to the murder victim. 105 00:07:05,020 --> 00:07:09,460 The murder victim is dead. 106 00:07:10,220 --> 00:07:12,120 A dead person talked to us. 107 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,620 Hello? Is there anybody there? 108 00:07:18,030 --> 00:07:21,700 Mrs Gladys Tate, Greg Kettle of Her Majesty's Press. We spoke on the phone. 109 00:07:21,870 --> 00:07:24,630 Everything is ready. I'm on the second floor. 110 00:07:26,370 --> 00:07:29,470 Now, remember, this woman is a very big medium. 111 00:07:29,990 --> 00:07:35,270 We are about to enter a haven of peace and transcendental reverence. 112 00:07:40,370 --> 00:07:45,689 Yes, I think the spirits are receptive, Mr Kettle. Whom is it you wish to speak 113 00:07:45,690 --> 00:07:52,389 to? I'd like to call up first Mr Edward Daintree, who was hacked to death by the 114 00:07:52,390 --> 00:07:53,440 Butcher of Burns. 115 00:07:57,750 --> 00:08:00,750 He is here. Mr Daintree is with us now. 116 00:08:02,330 --> 00:08:05,590 Edward Daintree, there is one here who would speak with you. 117 00:08:05,790 --> 00:08:06,840 Will you respond? 118 00:08:08,010 --> 00:08:09,110 Go ahead, please. 119 00:08:10,250 --> 00:08:11,990 Good morning, Mr Daintree. 120 00:08:12,290 --> 00:08:13,890 Sorry to drag you down here. 121 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:19,419 We're doing a background piece on the rights and wrongs of the death penalty 122 00:08:19,420 --> 00:08:20,500 convicted murderers. 123 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:24,300 Now, you were horribly disemboweled by one of these people. 124 00:08:24,580 --> 00:08:27,650 I believe at one point your head was cut off with a bread knife. 125 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:32,678 Do you think that a ten or fifteen year prison sentence is adequate for this 126 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:33,759 sort of grisly crime? 127 00:08:36,020 --> 00:08:37,070 Uh -huh. 128 00:08:37,659 --> 00:08:38,709 Yes? 129 00:08:44,071 --> 00:08:46,059 Would you? 130 00:08:46,060 --> 00:08:47,120 I guess not. 131 00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:53,320 Right. Well, thank you very much indeed, then, Mr. Daydream. 132 00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:57,560 Was there anything you wanted to ask? 133 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:01,960 Uh, no. I think that's covered most of my points. 134 00:09:04,620 --> 00:09:06,960 Well, thank you very much, then, Mrs. Tagpa. 135 00:09:08,220 --> 00:09:14,180 Next, I wonder if you could get hold of a Mrs. Belle Elmore Crippin. 136 00:09:17,610 --> 00:09:22,990 Talk to me about sociologists, unquote, said A5 murder victim Harry Langham. 137 00:09:23,490 --> 00:09:27,510 Small intestines were found in a ditch. Point. New path. 138 00:09:27,790 --> 00:09:32,250 Quotes. They know F for Freddy dash, dash, dash. All about anything. 139 00:09:32,750 --> 00:09:35,110 More to follow later. 140 00:09:42,510 --> 00:09:46,290 Yes, it requires a special kind of skill. 141 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,050 job of the reporter. 142 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:52,960 Very similar to that of the nuclear physicist or the brain surgeon. 143 00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:57,390 I'm surprised you never went in for brain surgery, Greg. 144 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,360 Many people have suggested it over the years. 145 00:10:03,220 --> 00:10:05,000 The hand, part of the hand. 146 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:10,230 Right, this is the mock -up for Monday's front. 147 00:10:10,231 --> 00:10:14,649 We leave with Khrushchev, obviously, all the background material, substantiating 148 00:10:14,650 --> 00:10:18,269 evidence, how the Crucible scoured the world for six months to find him and so 149 00:10:18,270 --> 00:10:19,189 on. 150 00:10:19,190 --> 00:10:22,429 Gradually we set the scene for the next day's issue when we start serialising 151 00:10:22,430 --> 00:10:25,270 his official memoirs as told to Greg Kettle. 152 00:10:25,510 --> 00:10:27,650 I remember Greg not too dry. 153 00:10:28,050 --> 00:10:29,790 I want it spiced with scandal. 154 00:10:30,550 --> 00:10:34,509 What were the young men of the Kremlin like between the sheets? Was Brezhnev 155 00:10:34,510 --> 00:10:36,810 really the superstar everyone claimed? 156 00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:42,260 How did Kosygin feel about women with big breasts? 157 00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:43,670 Right. 158 00:10:43,780 --> 00:10:45,700 But don't trivialise it. 159 00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:52,299 And on the centre, we run the background spread on hanging. Time to coincide 160 00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:53,980 with the Commons vote later today. 161 00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:55,870 Yes. 162 00:10:56,300 --> 00:11:01,239 I must say that for an article that purports to offer a fair, evenly 163 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:04,939 discussion on the morality of capital punishment, the headline string the 164 00:11:04,940 --> 00:11:05,990 bastards up. 165 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:11,210 offense so far. 166 00:11:12,340 --> 00:11:14,200 What would you suggest, Harry? 167 00:11:14,900 --> 00:11:17,860 I suggest we give Bill Titler a free hand for a few days. 168 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:21,270 Left to himself, he might come up with something useful. 169 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:28,890 Father Teasdale. 170 00:11:29,220 --> 00:11:30,880 Bill Titler, Daily Crucible. 171 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:35,180 You can start by taking that crate into the hall. 172 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:45,420 I'm afraid everything's rather a muddle. 173 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:51,680 They're closing the church down, you see. I really... Oh, don't worry. 174 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:53,900 I'll get the brownies to move it later. 175 00:11:56,560 --> 00:12:01,299 Actually, I wondered if I might have a word about your late brother, Mr Trevor 176 00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:02,700 Teasdale. Trevor? 177 00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:04,210 Oh, yes. 178 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:05,600 Sweet, charming fellow. 179 00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:08,699 Well, what did you want to know? Well, I understand he was assistant chief 180 00:12:08,700 --> 00:12:09,960 hangman of Great Britain. 181 00:12:09,961 --> 00:12:14,759 I don't want to talk about that, I'm afraid. No, I never talk about it. No, 182 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:18,199 sorry. Fine, fine, fine. Point taken. It's not my job to pry, I understand. 183 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:19,250 A bit sensitive. 184 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:24,100 So you, uh, say you've got to pack up and move out, then? 185 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:25,570 Certainly, yes. 186 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:29,560 How much to do until the... Oh, no, no. 187 00:12:29,940 --> 00:12:31,480 Not in the sun, please. 188 00:12:33,060 --> 00:12:34,110 Use the toilet roll. 189 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:42,339 You see, Prime Minister, the crucible spread on hanging is pretty well sewn up 190 00:12:42,340 --> 00:12:43,399 for tomorrow's edition. 191 00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:47,119 I'd be a rogue and a rapscallion if I tried to interfere with that coffee now. 192 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:51,680 Oh, absolutely, Twiggy. Well, the crucible must print. The crucible must 193 00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:58,460 Cigar. Oh, what's that? Some notes of mine? 194 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:07,000 It appears to be a short list for the Queen's birthday honours, Prime 195 00:13:08,490 --> 00:13:10,070 Lord Rathbone of Higerton. 196 00:13:10,530 --> 00:13:12,210 Sir Russell Spam. 197 00:13:12,950 --> 00:13:14,890 Harold Stringer, CBE. 198 00:13:15,150 --> 00:13:18,290 Oh, how careless are we, Twiggy? This is highly confidential. 199 00:13:19,250 --> 00:13:22,140 Of course, none of these has actually been confirmed yet. 200 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:24,970 Names can still be removed. 201 00:13:27,650 --> 00:13:32,809 With all due respect, sir, I feel it morally wrong and totally indefensible 202 00:13:32,810 --> 00:13:36,890 three honours should be bestowed on a single newspaper. 203 00:13:38,540 --> 00:13:40,240 Strike off, Harry Stringer. 204 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:46,420 And the attendances never did pick up, so down came the Episcopal decree. 205 00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:49,000 The church has got to go. 206 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:51,620 It's very sad, Father. 207 00:13:52,180 --> 00:13:54,860 Still, I suppose I'd better be off. 208 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,390 Thanks very much for the tea and sandwiches. 209 00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:58,650 Bye now. 210 00:13:59,660 --> 00:14:04,299 Oh, sorry. There was just one small detail I wanted to check before I go 211 00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:05,350 your brother. 212 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:09,020 He died on March the 4th, 1973, is that right? 213 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:10,890 Quinn Quagesma. 214 00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:16,279 Yes, that's right, because I remember actually being at home at the time with 215 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:21,899 parents, all celebrating Quinn Quagesma. I remember them saying on the news that 216 00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:26,299 the Home Secretary had just granted a pardon to Raymond Evans, the man your 217 00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,140 brother had hanged 17 years before. 218 00:14:28,940 --> 00:14:34,380 That was quite a coincidence, I suppose, your brother dying that very same day. 219 00:14:35,150 --> 00:14:38,870 I told you I didn't want to talk about that. Oh, no, no, I wouldn't want you 220 00:14:40,290 --> 00:14:43,750 I've never said a word to anybody about it in 13 years. 221 00:14:43,751 --> 00:14:47,209 Right. Well, you know what the press would do with a story like that. 222 00:14:47,210 --> 00:14:50,580 And I don't want to talk about it ever again, don't you understand? 223 00:14:51,370 --> 00:14:58,269 How I went to his house that day and... ..found him there, hanging from 224 00:14:58,270 --> 00:14:59,320 the banisters. 225 00:15:00,870 --> 00:15:03,710 The rope all taut and rigid round his neck. 226 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:08,500 He always could tie a good knot, Trevor. 227 00:15:11,380 --> 00:15:16,460 Your brother, a former hangman, hanged himself. He couldn't bear it, you see, 228 00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:19,390 knowing that he'd taken an innocent man's life like that. 229 00:15:20,540 --> 00:15:24,580 Well, I think you're absolutely right not to talk about it, Father. 230 00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:29,040 Now, when you first found him hanging... 231 00:15:29,041 --> 00:15:33,889 Change of plan, everyone. The BBC's check has bounced. The breakfast time 232 00:15:33,890 --> 00:15:35,150 appearance is cancelled. 233 00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:40,490 It's time to deal with a special live interview with ITV at nine tonight. 234 00:15:44,850 --> 00:15:46,610 OK, careful with him, boys. 235 00:15:46,930 --> 00:15:47,980 He's exclusive. 236 00:15:49,090 --> 00:15:50,390 This is terrific, Will. 237 00:15:50,790 --> 00:15:53,680 Just what the spread needs to put some sanity back into it. 238 00:15:53,681 --> 00:15:58,779 Bill Tickler's just come back with a good one for the spread, Max. 239 00:15:58,780 --> 00:16:02,450 A hangman who hanged himself when he found he'd executed an innocent man. 240 00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:05,450 The whole spread was moulded ten minutes ago, Harry. Sorry. 241 00:16:05,540 --> 00:16:06,590 Bugger it. 242 00:16:06,620 --> 00:16:08,560 Where's Spam, then? TV studio. 243 00:16:08,940 --> 00:16:11,110 Live Christoph interview in five minutes. 244 00:16:11,111 --> 00:16:13,199 Well, can't we run this on page three at all? 245 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:16,079 There's a piece about Princess Diana being anorexic again. 246 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:17,130 What? 247 00:16:19,780 --> 00:16:23,700 Died shock -flat tight. Spark slim -plagued scare. 248 00:16:24,740 --> 00:16:27,980 Weight loss, health theory of a royal knee wrinkle. 249 00:16:28,350 --> 00:16:29,400 What does this mean? 250 00:16:29,770 --> 00:16:33,570 Oh, it's a scene last night at the theatre. One leg of a tight, slightly 251 00:16:34,570 --> 00:16:37,940 Do you think she's lost weight, Annie? Look, this is her yesterday. 252 00:16:38,310 --> 00:16:40,250 This is her the same day last year. 253 00:16:41,070 --> 00:16:44,440 Oh, who the hell gives a toss about Princess Diana's bloody tight? 254 00:16:44,990 --> 00:16:47,650 That's the death of, oh, my God. 255 00:16:48,290 --> 00:16:49,340 Oh. 256 00:16:51,660 --> 00:16:56,559 And here on LWT in a moment, a change of program, we present a special live 257 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:59,660 interview with former Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev. 258 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:09,570 Yes, 259 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,520 rather fat and almost completely bald. 260 00:17:15,140 --> 00:17:16,280 How do you spell that? 261 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:17,770 Yes. 262 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:19,770 Mr. 263 00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:21,550 Donald... 264 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:24,960 Oh, yeah. 265 00:17:26,180 --> 00:17:28,480 Chronic schizophrenia. 266 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:37,280 And what happened after he was discharged? Did he... I see. 267 00:17:38,540 --> 00:17:39,590 Stay with friends. 268 00:17:39,671 --> 00:17:41,319 Good 269 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:50,800 evening. 270 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,680 Tonight... A rare moment in history. 271 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:59,819 Former Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev, ousted from power in 1964 and believed 272 00:17:59,820 --> 00:18:05,859 to have died in 1971, was last week found alive by a reporter working for 273 00:18:05,860 --> 00:18:07,180 Daily Crucible newspaper. 274 00:18:07,540 --> 00:18:12,339 The Crucible's editor, Mr. Russell Spam, is with me tonight with Mr. Khrushchev 275 00:18:12,340 --> 00:18:17,760 himself, now 93 years old, but still, I understand, alert and articulate. 276 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:22,399 Mr. Khrushchev, can I start by asking you, How does it feel to have been dead 277 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,450 for 15 years? 278 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,980 Mr. Christophe, did you hear my question? 279 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:35,610 Mr. Christophe? 280 00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:38,550 Mr. Christophe? 281 00:18:44,531 --> 00:18:51,339 We're going to move on now to tomorrow's debate in the Commons on capital 282 00:18:51,340 --> 00:18:55,619 punishment. All the polls show that the outcome is still very much in the 283 00:18:55,620 --> 00:18:59,819 balance. Earlier this evening, the Prime Minister told me why he believed the 284 00:18:59,820 --> 00:19:02,240 death sentence was an effective deterrent. 285 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:10,810 What's the verdict? 286 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:14,130 Serious? 287 00:19:32,460 --> 00:19:33,860 Things are a mess, Russell. 288 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,960 Not only did this man die on live television. 289 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:41,619 Now, you tell me it wasn't Khrushchev at all, but some fruitcake from a loopy 290 00:19:41,620 --> 00:19:42,579 bin. 291 00:19:42,580 --> 00:19:44,580 What can I say, Mr. 292 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:47,220 Rathbone? I've had enough, Russell. 293 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:48,490 You're fired. 294 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:51,920 I quite understand, sir. 295 00:19:54,540 --> 00:19:57,940 You were going for a moment there, didn't I? 296 00:19:58,300 --> 00:19:59,350 What? 297 00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:06,460 Excellent front page. Wait till Harry sees it. He'll be pleased as punch. 298 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,460 TV death blow spikes Fool's Day gag. 299 00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:16,219 The tragic death of a 75 -year -old man on live TV last night sadly scuppered 300 00:20:16,220 --> 00:20:19,300 Britain's biggest ever National April Fool's Day spoof. 301 00:20:19,940 --> 00:20:24,579 A father -loving crucible had put up geriatric joker Mr Donald Kubelski to 302 00:20:24,580 --> 00:20:29,340 hopes role of Mr Khrushchev as part of a special all -Fool's Day prank. 303 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,810 Tell Spam I want to feed him here in my office immediately. 304 00:20:34,980 --> 00:20:38,600 Hey! You just don't get to say the front page is a cracker. 305 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:43,859 How you have the effrontery, Russell, to pass off this fiat. Oh, incidentally, 306 00:20:43,860 --> 00:20:47,780 I've just read this hangman piece of young Titler's first -rate job. 307 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:51,020 Duke -ridden noose -boss in string -up shock. 308 00:20:52,100 --> 00:20:55,240 Rope chief's brother tells of heartache, lynch grief. 309 00:20:55,690 --> 00:20:58,160 It's a story that swings hanging debates, Harry. 310 00:20:58,161 --> 00:21:01,589 Shame it missed the paper. Oh, the word down from the Chief Whip's office is 311 00:21:01,590 --> 00:21:05,470 that the bill should cruise through this afternoon by seven votes. 312 00:21:05,471 --> 00:21:09,489 Thanks in no small measure to our Chamber of Horrors contribution, I dare 313 00:21:09,490 --> 00:21:11,290 Well, it's not good enough, Russell. 314 00:21:12,210 --> 00:21:13,260 I agree, Harry. 315 00:21:14,010 --> 00:21:16,950 We've put on half a million readers, but we need more. 316 00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:21,990 We need a stronger image, a campaigning paper, a paper with a conscience. 317 00:21:23,130 --> 00:21:27,269 How's this going for a new long... running moral crusade. The Crucible 318 00:21:27,270 --> 00:21:29,190 war on an enemy of society. 319 00:21:29,530 --> 00:21:33,369 An evil power -crazed maniac, a rabid lunatic who makes Hitler look like 320 00:21:33,370 --> 00:21:34,209 Paddington Bear. 321 00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:36,500 And only the Crucible dares to stand up to him. 322 00:21:36,810 --> 00:21:38,150 Well, who is this person? 323 00:21:38,870 --> 00:21:40,610 We haven't found him yet, but... 324 00:22:11,020 --> 00:22:16,819 off his master and a story with some sordid sex appeal someone's secrets we 325 00:22:16,820 --> 00:22:18,989 grabbed famous facts that we have stabbed 326 00:22:18,990 --> 00:22:23,540 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 27514

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