Original subtitles

A Pop Original Series.

Moving here was the best decision we ever made. We could just drink on the

street. Here's to going hard all night long.

Cheers.

Okay, babe. Let's get you home.

What?

Did you forget to pay rent?

Is it the first already?

It's the 15th.

They changed the lock. Or they just locked the door. You're not using your

You know what? It's cool. Me and the landlord are pretty tight. Yeah, we're

chill. We text, like, every day.

This is just an ongoing thread of her begging you to pay rent and you

with gif. She said this morning, this is your last warning. Pay rent or you're

evicted, you absolute shitshow.

You respond, whoop, LOL, with a gif of Kelsey Grammer falling off a stage. God

damn it, Emily!

Well, looks like we're going apartment hunting tomorrow.

Better get a good night's sleep, right?

On the sidewalk?

Wow.

You are a shit show.

This place is such a catch. Amazing location.

Close to the subway.

Upstairs from an accolade.

Very lively neighborhood.

This one has a totally retro kid.

And plumbing.

The neighbors are so friendly, they just had twins.

No surprise, because they are always doing it.

Already,

Derek? It does not make me less of a man!

Whatever. This is the nicest place we've seen. We'll take it.

I'm so sorry it just went off the market.

Just now? While we were talking?

I could put in a counteroffer, but the other couple has offered six months'

in advance.

What's your credit score?

A plus.

Get out.

A plus, Murph? What were you thinking?

A minus is much more believable.

Thanks for coming!

After two weeks of dating, you're finally moving in with me.

My friend's calling it a midlife crisis, but my company's going to solve aging,

so there's no such thing as midlife. Whatever. You got rid of that weird

roommate, right?

Oh, that was my wife.

Whoever she was, she had an attitude.

Well, she did catch us in our marital bed.

Could I get your bags?

Oh, actually, real quick, I just have a few more things.

I'm going to assume you didn't read that copy, The Life -Changing Power of

Tidying Up, that I gave you. Yeah, but I got, like, halfway through the title,

and I got, like, bored.

Like, why would I throw things out?

Then I wouldn't have things.

Uh -uh. Sorry, babe. I don't do clutter. It's one of my ten tenets of success.

My ten nets, if you will. Some of this stuff's got to go.

But, Brycey, we have to make your home feel like ours.

How would you feel if you left your fiancé of two months to move in with

millionaire boyfriend of two weeks?

You'd probably need, like, a lot of pairs of shoes, right?

That's, like, a really brave thing to do.

Shoes are fine, Bridget. It's this other stuff. You got, like, a picnic basket

of hangy balls, whatever those are. I mean, do we really need an entire box of

Marilyn Monroe coffee table books?

Oh, yeah, I just, like... Super relate to her. I, like, love all her quotes

about having an awful personality and how people just, like, have to deal with

it. Yeah, I'm seeing a lot of quotes in here. Quotes on pillows, quotes on

picture frames, big quotes built out of many smaller quotes.

I'm sorry if I'm deep, Bryce.

Is that deep?

This bitch needs wine. Wine is deep.

They have it in Europe. What is this shirt for?

Oh, my God, Bryce.

For when this bitch needs wine, literally it's like the only item of

you don't need explained.

Do we need three boxes full of candles? Oh, okay. Good question, Bryce. Do we

need the house to smell like Tahitian vanilla?

Do you need a whole barrel?

Full of dream catchers. Oh, okay.

So you would just be, like, cool if I just got, like, killed by a spirit. Wow.

There are no spirits in my luxury smart home, Bridget. It was built in 2017.

Okay, yeah, and if you wanted to stay that way, you'll let me hang that dream

catcher, light some incense, and do an intention ritual with my coven.

What? It worked. I put a hex on my ex's ex, and she got pregnant.

Can you imagine being fat?

All right, why don't we start small?

We can throw out some of these old Halloween costumes. We've got sexy

officer.

Sexy firefighter.

Sexy volunteer firefighter. How is this different? Okay, I'll just, like, spell

it out for you. Like, the fact that they aren't doing it for money makes it

sexier. But does it spark joy?

Like my picture frame?

No.

Put it in your hands, okay?

Really take a moment.

How does it make you feel?

Makes me feel... Like if you threw it out, I'd lose my shit.

I'm sorry. Are you like...

Trying to get out of helping me move because you're, like, old? No. Because

you're acting really old. 45 is the new 25. I ran a half marathon last month. I

eat acai balls. I take concentrated yak musk supplements. In 10 years, I'll be

ageless and living on Mars. Whatever. It's no big. I'll just, like, text my

He's a personal trainer.

He loves doing me favors because he knows I'm, like, super appreciative.

That won't be necessary. Let me text my personal assistant.

So, it's really over then, huh?

I guess so.

I can't believe you're leaving.

Oh, uh, I thought you were leaving.

No, I thought you were leaving.

Are you kidding me? I'm not walking away from this sweet apartment. Neither

would I. This is the best place I've ever lived. There's a fucking closet

Hannah, I can't let you be trapped in this home that we shared. Let this 2

square foot rent -controlled apartment be my burden to bear.

So selfless, but Brennan, after everything I did, you should be the one

out, meet new people.

Like a realtor.

He'll help you find a new place.

Just go, Hannah!

It hurts for me to see you here and take our memories with you.

They're cheesy as fuck and they ruin the decor.

That's fine.

I'm fine with that. I'm okay with things being a little out of place.

You're the neat freak.

How will you deal with the nasty wine stain on the rug?

What wine stain?

I can replace it.

I cheated on you.

There, in the bedroom we once shared.

You sick bitch. I'll have to burn the mattress, because I'm not leaving. It

actually on the floor.

Our passion was too great, and we made love on this gorgeous, reclaimed wood

flooring. God, I love these boys.

You're killing me, Hannah.

Because I hate talking on the phone, and now I'm going to have to call the

landlord to get the floors refinished.

That's who I cheated on you with. Do you really want to write a check every

month to the...

Yeah, that's fine. I'll write him a check.

Get the fuck out of my super fucking cool apartment! I'm not leaving this

apartment! It's too sick! The place isn't my name! My mom co -signed! Okay,

fine!

We're both adults.

We'll just cohabitate until one of us finds another place.

Or I bring a guy home and make you so jealous with our super loud lovemaking

that you just leave on your own accord.

You're not loud.

Maybe not with you.

This place is so big.

$800 a month? This old bag has no idea what she's got.

We love the place.

Oh, thank you. You know, my daughter and son -in -law bought their first home,

so I was feeling a little lonesome. I don't need the money.

Really, I don't. I'm just looking at taking a sweet young couple that would

to save up for their first home. Aw, that's so nice.

I shouldn't have called the old bag an old bag.

We should jump on this before someone else scoops it.

Hi. Oh, hi.

I'm Grant. I'm John. I hope you don't mind we brought flour.

Oh, isn't that lovely? Oh, my goodness. This place is beautiful. The kitchen is

gorgeous. We love to cook. Oh, ain't that something? So do I.

We will have to trade recipes. Yes. Let me show you the rest of the house. And

that's Grant and... John. John. Come on.

Did he just stunt on me? Oh my God, he stunted on you. I think this is what

stunting is.

Well, it's getting to be this old bag's bad time.

I'll review the applications in the morning, my darling.

What did you put for our current landlord?

I put my brother's number.

Remind me to text him a heads up later.

Angela, would you mind if we took one more look at your veranda? Yeah, we

to measure it for our herb garden.

Oh, an herb garden. I used to have an herb garden. Of course, because I'm a

gardener. We also had an herb garden.

God damn it, they're perfect. Why did I waste my good curse upon this

application? Oh, it isn't over yet.

I secretly photographed their application.

Look, we have all their info.

Let's go dig up some dirt.

Oh, Brennan, you're here.

Shoot, I just got back with my romantic partner.

I understand this must be really hard for you to see. I'll try to be as quiet

I can.

Wow,

you're evil.

I totally understand if this makes you want to move out.

Nope, this is all okay, so long as you don't mind sharing a bed with me.

Because I'm not going anywhere.

Whoa, okay, okay. So, you told me you had an exotic pet lizard to show me.

There's no zard in a mouth.

Fizz. Harder than I thought it would be.

Yeah.

I can't move on while I still have feelings for this apartment.

Should we give it another try?

I can't get past all the damage I've done.

To the living room, I trashed it to piss you off, but now I don't want to live

here.

Well, ha ha! You played yourself!

Because there's still a gorgeous... open floor plan under all this crap.

Wait.

Is there actual crap in here somewhere?

It smells terrible.

You need to tilt it, Bryce.

Ah, Aaron. There you are, bud.

Bridget, this is my son Aaron.

Aaron, this is the young hot woman that I left your mother for when my company

went public.

Cool. Whatever.

Tracy, when you said you had a son, I assumed he was like 12.

So he's like young and rich.

Really appreciate you helping out your dad there, bud.

Should he give me a thousand bucks?

Where's my thousand bucks?

Libertarian just like his old man.

Uh, bud, you mind grabbing the other side of that?

This looks, like, super heavy, and I'm pretty worried about you, so I should

probably spot you.

Oh, my God. Dad, your weird girlfriend's getting in the way.

Uh, Bridge, you mind, babe?

Oh, I'm sorry, Bryce. Earlier, you were like, oh, babe, could you get me a

water? I'm feeling lightheaded, and now suddenly you don't want my help. Um,

Mitchos, apologies, Bryce, but this bitch is independent. Okay, everyone,

lifting on three, two, one.

Oh, my God.

Bridge.

It's like feet that I ran into you. Could you, like, help me with this? I

my tits are getting in the way.

Yeah, sure. Thank you so much.

All right.

I see what's going on here.

Aaron wants you at home, bud. I get to get from here.

Whatever.

Oh, my God, Chris.

I'm a tech guy who ignores the impoverished and uses his excessive

to colonize Mars.

And even I couldn't do this, though.

Gracie, wait!

It wasn't actually trying to get with your son of a bitch!

Did he get the address of a fast food joint? Okay, I'm getting to the bottom

this.

Ball Bars, Ball Boys, how can we spice up your evening?

Those scam artists!

We gotta tell the whole bag.

Stop running. I'm walking.

What are you doing here?

We're here to tell Angela all about you, you fraud.

No, you're the fraud.

But just out of curiosity, how do you know we're frauds? We took a picture of

your application and called your landlord.

Hey, that's our move.

Well, we have proof. And here it is.

Oh, no.

You got the wrong number. I'm not his landlord. I'm his brother. Although,

technically, he doesn't even have a landlord because he just got evicted.

The crazy thing is I did text him. He just doesn't like me very much. Well, we

got some dirt on you, too.

Feast your ears on that.

And when a hero comes among... Whoops, wrong voice memo. I mean this.

Ball Bars, Ball Boys, how can we spice up your evening?

Bribing a fast food joint to pretend to be your landlord.

That's low.

Err. I'm bribing your brother. Jesus, we didn't bribe anyone that is our

landlord. We live above Pawpaw's Po 'boy. Why do you think we're so keen to

move? Hmm, because we smell like fried seafood and Cajun seasoning all the

That sounds... delicious.

Garlic, paprika, spicy remoulade.

I'm a walking po -boy scented Yankee candle. So lucky. The guy knows it's a

spot, too, so he tries to sweeten the deal with free beignets and jambalaya.

Yeah, he gives us this big container and says we can just fill it up at the soda

fountain as if we drink soda. Do they have Mr. Pip?

Oh, yeah. Sometimes there are kids' parties there, and the clowns will want

stay after and hang out with us.

So cool. One time the kitchen was on fire, and the owner paid us cash not to

anything to the insurance company. So awesome.

I'm pretty sure it's a front. They have Ukrainian guys in suits going in and out

all day with duffel bags. You, like, live in the movie Die Hard. We love Die

Hard. We love it. It was supposed to be something temporary until we found the

perfect place.

A place we could save up for our first home.

You know, it's really beautiful stuff, which is why I'm going to go ahead and

just... I'm going to do it. Okay.

I don't get it. You just deleted a file that says Emily sings Mariah.

Damn it! Really?

That was a really good one.

You worked really hard on that one. Oh, God. Okay. All right. Well, okay, but

I'm actually going to do this, though.

Plate's clean.

The apartment's yours, guys.

No. Really?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Thank you.

Hey, um...

I just want to say that I'm, like, really sorry about what happened back

But you know what? Like, maybe I'm actually not.

Because maybe that's what I needed to realize.

That.

You.

Spark joy.

You read it?

I, like, watched it. But, yeah, I didn't have time to read it. But, look.

What we have is, like, real.

I'm, like. The hot grimes to your Elon Musk. And sure, there will be, like,

young, hot guys with money who, like, don't have

weird facial hair.

But old, ugly guys like you have even more money.

Plus, you have, like, stocks and shit, so you won't ever be poor.

Oh, Bridget.

Oh, right.

Real quick, though, do you want to finish moving me in?

It's supposed to start raining and my crystals are climate sensitive.

Murph, is that you?

Oh my gosh.

Isn't that your nightmare ex -girlfriend?

What are you doing in my new neighborhood?

Have fun with the apartment, guys.

Yeah, we'll see you at the housewarming. Bye.

That is so weird. That is my ex.

Like he never moved on.

Is he looking at me?

So, do you guys have any exotic pets?

Nope. Aw.

Is the clown here tonight?

Yeah. Yeah. Just be careful, because that guy likes to drink a lot.

So cool.

Sounds awesome.

Sounds awesome.