All language subtitles for Hot Date s02e01 Apartment Hunting

A Pop Original Series.

Moving here was the best decision we
ever made. We could just drink on the

street. Here's to going hard all night
long.

Cheers.

Okay, babe. Let's get you home.

What?

Did you forget to pay rent?

Is it the first already?

It's the 15th.

They changed the lock. Or they just
locked the door. You're not using your

You know what? It's cool. Me and the
landlord are pretty tight. Yeah, we're

chill. We text, like, every day.

This is just an ongoing thread of her
begging you to pay rent and you

with gif. She said this morning, this is
your last warning. Pay rent or you're

evicted, you absolute shitshow.

You respond, whoop, LOL, with a gif of
Kelsey Grammer falling off a stage. God

damn it, Emily!

Well, looks like we're going apartment
hunting tomorrow.

Better get a good night's sleep, right?

On the sidewalk?

Wow.

You are a shit show.

This place is such a catch. Amazing
location.

Close to the subway.

Upstairs from an accolade.

Very lively neighborhood.

This one has a totally retro kid.

And plumbing.

The neighbors are so friendly, they just
had twins.

No surprise, because they are always
doing it.

Already,

Derek? It does not make me less of a
man!

Whatever. This is the nicest place we've
seen. We'll take it.

I'm so sorry it just went off the
market.

Just now? While we were talking?

I could put in a counteroffer, but the
other couple has offered six months'

in advance.

What's your credit score?

A plus.

Get out.

A plus, Murph? What were you thinking?

A minus is much more believable.

Thanks for coming!

After two weeks of dating, you're
finally moving in with me.

My friend's calling it a midlife crisis,
but my company's going to solve aging,

so there's no such thing as midlife.
Whatever. You got rid of that weird

roommate, right?

Oh, that was my wife.

Whoever she was, she had an attitude.

Well, she did catch us in our marital
bed.

Could I get your bags?

Oh, actually, real quick, I just have a
few more things.

I'm going to assume you didn't read that
copy, The Life -Changing Power of

Tidying Up, that I gave you. Yeah, but I
got, like, halfway through the title,

and I got, like, bored.

Like, why would I throw things out?

Then I wouldn't have things.

Uh -uh. Sorry, babe. I don't do clutter.
It's one of my ten tenets of success.

My ten nets, if you will. Some of this
stuff's got to go.

But, Brycey, we have to make your home
feel like ours.

How would you feel if you left your
fiancé of two months to move in with

millionaire boyfriend of two weeks?

You'd probably need, like, a lot of
pairs of shoes, right?

That's, like, a really brave thing to
do.

Shoes are fine, Bridget. It's this other
stuff. You got, like, a picnic basket

of hangy balls, whatever those are. I
mean, do we really need an entire box of

Marilyn Monroe coffee table books?

Oh, yeah, I just, like... Super relate
to her. I, like, love all her quotes

about having an awful personality and
how people just, like, have to deal with

it. Yeah, I'm seeing a lot of quotes in
here. Quotes on pillows, quotes on

picture frames, big quotes built out of
many smaller quotes.

I'm sorry if I'm deep, Bryce.

Is that deep?

This bitch needs wine. Wine is deep.

They have it in Europe. What is this
shirt for?

Oh, my God, Bryce.

For when this bitch needs wine,
literally it's like the only item of

you don't need explained.

Do we need three boxes full of candles?
Oh, okay. Good question, Bryce. Do we

need the house to smell like Tahitian
vanilla?

Do you need a whole barrel?

Full of dream catchers. Oh, okay.

So you would just be, like, cool if I
just got, like, killed by a spirit. Wow.

There are no spirits in my luxury smart
home, Bridget. It was built in 2017.

Okay, yeah, and if you wanted to stay
that way, you'll let me hang that dream

catcher, light some incense, and do an
intention ritual with my coven.

What? It worked. I put a hex on my ex's
ex, and she got pregnant.

Can you imagine being fat?

All right, why don't we start small?

We can throw out some of these old
Halloween costumes. We've got sexy

officer.

Sexy firefighter.

Sexy volunteer firefighter. How is this
different? Okay, I'll just, like, spell

it out for you. Like, the fact that they
aren't doing it for money makes it

sexier. But does it spark joy?

Like my picture frame?

No.

Put it in your hands, okay?

Really take a moment.

How does it make you feel?

Makes me feel... Like if you threw it
out, I'd lose my shit.

I'm sorry. Are you like...

Trying to get out of helping me move
because you're, like, old? No. Because

you're acting really old. 45 is the new
25. I ran a half marathon last month. I

eat acai balls. I take concentrated yak
musk supplements. In 10 years, I'll be

ageless and living on Mars. Whatever.
It's no big. I'll just, like, text my

He's a personal trainer.

He loves doing me favors because he
knows I'm, like, super appreciative.

That won't be necessary. Let me text my
personal assistant.

So, it's really over then, huh?

I guess so.

I can't believe you're leaving.

Oh, uh, I thought you were leaving.

No, I thought you were leaving.

Are you kidding me? I'm not walking away
from this sweet apartment. Neither

would I. This is the best place I've
ever lived. There's a fucking closet

Hannah, I can't let you be trapped in
this home that we shared. Let this 2

square foot rent -controlled apartment
be my burden to bear.

So selfless, but Brennan, after
everything I did, you should be the one

out, meet new people.

Like a realtor.

He'll help you find a new place.

Just go, Hannah!

It hurts for me to see you here and take
our memories with you.

They're cheesy as fuck and they ruin the
decor.

That's fine.

I'm fine with that. I'm okay with things
being a little out of place.

You're the neat freak.

How will you deal with the nasty wine
stain on the rug?

What wine stain?

I can replace it.

I cheated on you.

There, in the bedroom we once shared.

You sick bitch. I'll have to burn the
mattress, because I'm not leaving. It

actually on the floor.

Our passion was too great, and we made
love on this gorgeous, reclaimed wood

flooring. God, I love these boys.

You're killing me, Hannah.

Because I hate talking on the phone, and
now I'm going to have to call the

landlord to get the floors refinished.

That's who I cheated on you with. Do you
really want to write a check every

month to the...

Yeah, that's fine. I'll write him a
check.

Get the fuck out of my super fucking
cool apartment! I'm not leaving this

apartment! It's too sick! The place
isn't my name! My mom co -signed! Okay,

fine!

We're both adults.

We'll just cohabitate until one of us
finds another place.

Or I bring a guy home and make you so
jealous with our super loud lovemaking

that you just leave on your own accord.

You're not loud.

Maybe not with you.

This place is so big.

$800 a month? This old bag has no idea
what she's got.

We love the place.

Oh, thank you. You know, my daughter and
son -in -law bought their first home,

so I was feeling a little lonesome. I
don't need the money.

Really, I don't. I'm just looking at
taking a sweet young couple that would

to save up for their first home. Aw,
that's so nice.

I shouldn't have called the old bag an
old bag.

We should jump on this before someone
else scoops it.

Hi. Oh, hi.

I'm Grant. I'm John. I hope you don't
mind we brought flour.

Oh, isn't that lovely? Oh, my goodness.
This place is beautiful. The kitchen is

gorgeous. We love to cook. Oh, ain't
that something? So do I.

We will have to trade recipes. Yes. Let
me show you the rest of the house. And

that's Grant and... John. John. Come on.

Did he just stunt on me? Oh my God, he
stunted on you. I think this is what

stunting is.

Well, it's getting to be this old bag's
bad time.

I'll review the applications in the
morning, my darling.

What did you put for our current
landlord?

I put my brother's number.

Remind me to text him a heads up later.

Angela, would you mind if we took one
more look at your veranda? Yeah, we

to measure it for our herb garden.

Oh, an herb garden. I used to have an
herb garden. Of course, because I'm a

gardener. We also had an herb garden.

God damn it, they're perfect. Why did I
waste my good curse upon this

application? Oh, it isn't over yet.

I secretly photographed their
application.

Look, we have all their info.

Let's go dig up some dirt.

Oh, Brennan, you're here.

Shoot, I just got back with my romantic
partner.

I understand this must be really hard
for you to see. I'll try to be as quiet

I can.

Wow,

you're evil.

I totally understand if this makes you
want to move out.

Nope, this is all okay, so long as you
don't mind sharing a bed with me.

Because I'm not going anywhere.

Whoa, okay, okay. So, you told me you
had an exotic pet lizard to show me.

There's no zard in a mouth.

Fizz. Harder than I thought it would be.

Yeah.

I can't move on while I still have
feelings for this apartment.

Should we give it another try?

I can't get past all the damage I've
done.

To the living room, I trashed it to piss
you off, but now I don't want to live

here.

Well, ha ha! You played yourself!

Because there's still a gorgeous... open
floor plan under all this crap.

Wait.

Is there actual crap in here somewhere?

It smells terrible.

You need to tilt it, Bryce.

Ah, Aaron. There you are, bud.

Bridget, this is my son Aaron.

Aaron, this is the young hot woman that
I left your mother for when my company

went public.

Cool. Whatever.

Tracy, when you said you had a son, I
assumed he was like 12.

So he's like young and rich.

Really appreciate you helping out your
dad there, bud.

Should he give me a thousand bucks?

Where's my thousand bucks?

Libertarian just like his old man.

Uh, bud, you mind grabbing the other
side of that?

This looks, like, super heavy, and I'm
pretty worried about you, so I should

probably spot you.

Oh, my God. Dad, your weird girlfriend's
getting in the way.

Uh, Bridge, you mind, babe?

Oh, I'm sorry, Bryce. Earlier, you were
like, oh, babe, could you get me a

water? I'm feeling lightheaded, and now
suddenly you don't want my help. Um,

Mitchos, apologies, Bryce, but this
bitch is independent. Okay, everyone,

lifting on three, two, one.

Oh, my God.

Bridge.

It's like feet that I ran into you.
Could you, like, help me with this? I

my tits are getting in the way.

Yeah, sure. Thank you so much.

All right.

I see what's going on here.

Aaron wants you at home, bud. I get to
get from here.

Whatever.

Oh, my God, Chris.

I'm a tech guy who ignores the
impoverished and uses his excessive

to colonize Mars.

And even I couldn't do this, though.

Gracie, wait!

It wasn't actually trying to get with
your son of a bitch!

Did he get the address of a fast food
joint? Okay, I'm getting to the bottom

this.

Ball Bars, Ball Boys, how can we spice
up your evening?

Those scam artists!

We gotta tell the whole bag.

Stop running. I'm walking.

What are you doing here?

We're here to tell Angela all about you,
you fraud.

No, you're the fraud.

But just out of curiosity, how do you
know we're frauds? We took a picture of

your application and called your
landlord.

Hey, that's our move.

Well, we have proof. And here it is.

Oh, no.

You got the wrong number. I'm not his
landlord. I'm his brother. Although,

technically, he doesn't even have a
landlord because he just got evicted.

The crazy thing is I did text him. He
just doesn't like me very much. Well, we

got some dirt on you, too.

Feast your ears on that.

And when a hero comes among... Whoops,
wrong voice memo. I mean this.

Ball Bars, Ball Boys, how can we spice
up your evening?

Bribing a fast food joint to pretend to
be your landlord.

That's low.

Err. I'm bribing your brother. Jesus, we
didn't bribe anyone that is our

landlord. We live above Pawpaw's Po
'boy. Why do you think we're so keen to

move? Hmm, because we smell like fried
seafood and Cajun seasoning all the

That sounds... delicious.

Garlic, paprika, spicy remoulade.

I'm a walking po -boy scented Yankee
candle. So lucky. The guy knows it's a

spot, too, so he tries to sweeten the
deal with free beignets and jambalaya.

Yeah, he gives us this big container and
says we can just fill it up at the soda

fountain as if we drink soda. Do they
have Mr. Pip?

Oh, yeah. Sometimes there are kids'
parties there, and the clowns will want

stay after and hang out with us.

So cool. One time the kitchen was on
fire, and the owner paid us cash not to

anything to the insurance company. So
awesome.

I'm pretty sure it's a front. They have
Ukrainian guys in suits going in and out

all day with duffel bags. You, like,
live in the movie Die Hard. We love Die

Hard. We love it. It was supposed to be
something temporary until we found the

perfect place.

A place we could save up for our first
home.

You know, it's really beautiful stuff,
which is why I'm going to go ahead and

just... I'm going to do it. Okay.

I don't get it. You just deleted a file
that says Emily sings Mariah.

Damn it! Really?

That was a really good one.

You worked really hard on that one. Oh,
God. Okay. All right. Well, okay, but

I'm actually going to do this, though.

Plate's clean.

The apartment's yours, guys.

No. Really?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Thank you.

Hey, um...

I just want to say that I'm, like,
really sorry about what happened back

But you know what? Like, maybe I'm
actually not.

Because maybe that's what I needed to
realize.

That.

You.

Spark joy.

You read it?

I, like, watched it. But, yeah, I didn't
have time to read it. But, look.

What we have is, like, real.

I'm, like. The hot grimes to your Elon
Musk. And sure, there will be, like,

young, hot guys with money who, like,
don't have

weird facial hair.

But old, ugly guys like you have even
more money.

Plus, you have, like, stocks and shit,
so you won't ever be poor.

Oh, Bridget.

Oh, right.

Real quick, though, do you want to
finish moving me in?

It's supposed to start raining and my
crystals are climate sensitive.

Murph, is that you?

Oh my gosh.

Isn't that your nightmare ex
-girlfriend?

What are you doing in my new
neighborhood?

Have fun with the apartment, guys.

Yeah, we'll see you at the housewarming.
Bye.

That is so weird. That is my ex.

Like he never moved on.

Is he looking at me?

So, do you guys have any exotic pets?

Nope. Aw.

Is the clown here tonight?

Yeah. Yeah. Just be careful, because
that guy likes to drink a lot.

So cool.

Sounds awesome.

Sounds awesome.