Original subtitles

Evening, Sergeant Blaine.

Evening, Lindsay.

Having a bit of a party?

I couldn't just use your toilet, could I?

I don't have your business, and now's not a good time. Why are you here?

Well, there's to... Oh, that does sound like a lot of fun. It'll be like two

minutes.

Sounds like a crime, right, Sergeant? Well, where your family's concerned is

actually... I had a complaint from one of your neighbours.

They reported a lot of...

You know, loud music and women screaming their heads off. Any excuse these days.

Right, well, I'll try and keep it down.

Can you not do that? Harrison, I want a load of coffee.

Excellent.

So, you want the blonde bombshell G -string

in magenta?

And the, er, the fuck -me -nickers.

Lady of the night matching fair. The fuck -me -nickers.

Yeah. Good choice. Do you want to write down your measurements there, and then

when they're made, they'll be a perfect fit?

If you see anything you like, I'll change your numbers over there, and you

place our orders with our homework.

Chris, when you took that booking, why didn't you tell me there were a lot of

cops? Who cares?

Seriously, after it? Yeah, but how? It's a holocaust.

What on earth is that?

Oh, my question keeps asking me to spank him round the face with it. Too much

information, Chrissie. He loves the dirty things he does.

Finishes them off.

If you know what I mean.

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

So, you're Lindsay Carter.

That's me.

I know a lot about you. I believe all you've heard.

I did say that. Sounds like you've been talking about me a bit too much. I want

the French maid in satin. Of course. What's her name?

Sergeant Terry Bain.

Any relation to Sergeant Ed Bain?

Only by marriage.

Haven't heard that before.

Oh, my God.

You're Grant Wilkes.

So I am. My mum loves you on TV. She's even got your DVD, Granted with Muscle

Fever, Grant Wilkes. She has exceptional taste.

Didn't she love that documentary you did about your wife not being able to get

up the duff?

Oh, yeah, a documentary about Sandy having IVF. Yeah, and I loved you on

Celebrity Taxman.

Oh, thank you. So did I.

No, not really, but I did come across pretty well.

I can't feel my arse. I do have that effect on people.

No, it's just I'm sitting on ice.

At least, was I?

No, just a puddle.

Well, what do you say we swim for a day?

Yeah, and we drove around and we chatted for like ages. Then he gave me a lift

home. Who? Graham Wilkes, the wanker off TV.

Who's he? Don't you mean the happily married wanker off TV?

Who is this guy? All he did was give me a ride.

In a thick car?

I really love that documentary he did about his wife and the IVF. Yeah, man.

She looked hot with her legs in those stirrups.

Classy, Vin. What? When was this?

Who? Thanks very much.

You know, Casey, everything you read about me, none of it's true.

Sometimes I write nice things.

Oh, yeah. I think my publicists tell them. The rest of it's crap.

Do you know, I've never even met half the people I'm supposed to show.

God, it must be so tough, like, being in the public eye.

Oh, babes, it is.

You're just not your own person any more. Every fucking chair thinks it can

wander. Have you all got a piece of equipment? Oh, of course.

Thanks for watching.

Thank you. Stay cool.

Oh, I know people who say I bring it on myself, all those behind -the -scenes

docos my company makes. Oh, no, I know loads of people who love those, like

going to Russia and getting your triplets. That one was amazing.

Oh, bloody triplets.

What? Oh, they're ghastly. Miserable little Eastern Europeans.

Always depressed.

Make miniature check -offs, a lot of them.

And they're all turning out to look like potatoes.

Oh, they're not that bad.

Did you know the worst thing is?

They're starting to become like their mother.

Oh, I thought Zandy was... What, between Mother Teresa and Madonna? My arse.

She's a psychotic whore.

Why are you still with her?

Family.

I still believe in old -fashioned values.

Oh!

Kathy, that's wonderful.

Oh. It's Casey.

Oh.

Yes, so it is.

Is it true about your Casey and Grant, Wilk? No, they're just friends.

He must be loaded.

It's always in the papers.

They were a wee bit if we keep churning these out the rate we are.

Hi. Hello.

Is the thing OK?

Mm. And you can deliver the material by tomorrow, yeah?

He said he'd try and deliver tomorrow.

Try? Crithy?

Hey, ladies.

Hey, hello.

Does this make my bum look big?

Vincent, what are you doing here?

Parole, Lindsay, is a thing of beauty. I meant here in my house.

Borrow a fiver, I'll get the eyes out of the bedroom.

Bye, ladies.

Enjoy the sex clothes.

I can't believe you took him back. He changed, Lynn.

He begged me to take him back.

It's different this time.

I think I can trust him.

You have given the money to Mr. Thing, haven't you?

He needs it.

Oh, shit!

Indeed. Don't suppose you're wearing any of that gear you've been making, eh?

I'm afraid they gave you some money.

What, the fiver? Before that, quite a lot of money.

Oh, right.

Yeah, well, I want it back. I need it back.

You can't. I invested it.

What do you mean you've invested it? Yes, only for 24 hours. Then I get it

bought. Double. No way!

No, stay top. The guy I gave it to, he'll source it. He'll make us all rich.

It's only 24 hours one day.

Well, I...

Maybe two.

Three or four days, Max. Quinton, you're going to get that money back.

Or what?

You'll go to the police.

Come on.

Taylor, I'd like you to meet someone.

Vicky Hong and her father are looking for a new law firm.

Vicky, hi.

Well, Taylor Carter.

Didn't expect to see you here. You two know each other.

Excellent. I'll leave Taylor to give you the grand tour.

Wait, no.

You know what? I don't think I'll be choosing this firm.

Why? Just because... I had sex with you while I thought you were your twin

brother.

Bert, if it makes you feel any bad, people get us mixed up all the time.

I don't care.

What do you mean, slight problem?

One of our suppliers hasn't come through. It's no big deal, but it may

delay to living your goods.

You promised them by the weekend.

That might not happen. Well, I need them by then.

We could give the supplier twice the usual advance. You paid a deposit.

Yeah, I know. Well, that's it until I get my underwear.

But if you want them by the weekend... I know who you are, Lindsay Carter.

But if you think you can pull a job on me and my colleagues, you've got another

thing coming.

I will make your life a misery.

It's usually your husband's job.

You haven't dealt with me yet.

Now... Get me the French maid's outfit by the weekend, or I'll be on your arse

24 -7.

Oh, that's new. The police are harassing me and my family.

So you just hooked yourself an egotistical wanker. Well done.

He's rich.

And he can get me a job on TV.

He's great for my career.

But you're so beautiful, Casey. You don't need to sleep with an older man's

bitch. Oh, I haven't slept with him.

I just gave him a blowjob or two.

Oh, that burns.

He'll be back for the main course.

And after that, I'll have him wrapped around my little finger. And his wife

kids, do they factor in here? Oh, don't be so naive, Liana.

I could take photos of you on my digital camera. That'd be tasteful.

Restock your sordid little wank bank? No, I don't think so.

Then you could get a proper agent. You wouldn't have to shag some old has

No.

Shagging the old has -been is going to be a lot quicker.

You're 20.

Enough. What's going on?

I was just asking Norman how the family was doing.

Cards and your interrogation technique, are they? I haven't finished yet.

So, Lindsay.

Saw you down at the station today.

Talking to Terry.

Oh, that's why you're here.

Well, thanks for coming round, Sergeant, but you can relax because I'm going to

move heaven and earth to make sure you two get your dirty weekend together.

the fuck are you talking about?

You can tell your wife and the rest of her department that they will get their

laundry on time.

Me up.

Oh, and close the door on your way out.

I thought I'd catch up with you.

I won't keep away from you, can you?

Your boss is very keen to have my father's business.

And while I was here, I thought I'd... Pop in for a friendly chat.

How long has it you been a Muslim?

You know, a couple of years.

They never mentioned anything.

Yeah, well, he's still an infidel.

So you didn't just pretend to be a Muslim to guilt trip a swanky law firm

hiring you?

Of course not.

I could make life for you here very difficult, Taylor.

Sorry.

Excuse me?

You want an apology for what happened between us? There it was.

Was it?

Yes. Sorry.

Action replay, sorry.

And it won't happen again.

Unless you want it to.

No. Are you sure?

It was pretty good both times.

No to the apology.

Hang on.

You can't refuse my apology.

That wasn't an apology, Taylor. It was someone moving their lips and saying the

word sorry.

Not an apology.

Johnny!

Yeah, check it out.

Have you seen Quinton lately?

He's come by a few times.

Right, do you know who he's doing business with? And he won't tell me, and

really important that I know. We don't talk anymore.

Bastard borrowed all my horror films and hasn't given them back.

OK, in that case, I'm going to have to ask you for a short -term loan. I'll pay

it back.

Sure could, Linz, but business isn't the same without you.

Money's tight.

Sometimes I think I'm not cut out to be a famous.

Well, look, if you do see him, tell him I'm looking for him, yeah?

Yeah, whatever.

Check it out.

Hello.

What on earth are you reading?

You know how it is.

Get up.

They let you out for a stroll.

They lock you up again.

You've got to find different ways of entertaining yourself.

They're poisoning everyone.

He'd be selling one of the best.

Anyway, might come in handy when I'm off the parole.

What can you tell me about Quentin Carroll?

Who do you do business with these days?

How do I know?

You must be able to tell me something, mate.

Oh, it's hard to keep up with every little detail.

What we're being imprisoned off.

Can we go to the bank for a loan? With our credit ratings and your criminal

records? Yeah, right.

Quentin swears he'll have the money by tomorrow.

And that's what he'll say tomorrow and next week and next month. Jesus Christ,

Chrissie, how many times have I told you to get rid of this loser?

Oh, Quentin's not a loser.

He cheeses on you four times.

Five. Not making him sound any better, Chris.

He keeps taking money off you and getting you to talk filthy to him.

He only likes to talk about bondage. We never actually do it. My family need to

eat, Chrissie, and thanks to your fucking stupidity, they're now not going

Thank you.

Mr. Hong, what are you doing here?

Wife have scan.

You have checkup, yes?

Yeah, yeah, it's fine.

They say the swelling's gone.

I reckon I might be able to come back to work.

Two more days.

But I'm fine, honest.

Rest? Yeah, but I've been resting loads already.

Two more days, then you'll come back to work.

Hey, didn't expect to see you. The mood has waited long enough, Steve. We've got

to crack on with Act Three.

But isn't your douchy head still on the wall part? Ah, but I've a new plan,

Steve.

Menstruation.

On the days that I've got all -male teachers, I pretend that I've got woman

problems, they get all embarrassed and let me off.

Honey. I know.

Get on with it.

You just wouldn't, would you, with Grant Wilkes?

You see, I really, really like you.

What's your obsession with my sister?

I'm not obsessed. Come off it, you totally fancy. Everyone does.

I don't usually do this, but... She

is hot.

She just views you. She wouldn't understand you like... Like I do.

I just... I just think that Grant guy's a dick. I can't see him together. Oh,

yeah, I think.

Oh, yeah. Who's your daddy?

Who's your daddy, baby?

Oh, yeah.

This is one of those perfect moments, isn't it?

Ooh.

Ow. I think I...

I think I've got a phone stuck up my arse.

It is so gorgeous here.

Well, you know, after I made my first million, I thought it was time.

Oh, it was either this or Picasso.

Wow.

But you know, Picasso's shit anyway.

I thought he was supposed to be, like, amazing.

No, babes, he's overrated.

Is that why he cut his ear off?

Ah, Casey.

You're so innocent, aren't you?

And you're so rich.

So I am.

It must have felt really bad if you said sorry. What were you apologising for?

What does it matter?

For being a thickweed.

A thickweed!

Yeah, right. I'd rather be like you and have no job, no prospects, and nothing

to do but hang around with shit brains.

There ain't no shit brains. Dude, he means you.

Oh, dude, that is mean.

I have prospects.

I admit the honk. What were you apologising for?

Look, what's important is I said sorry and she didn't accept it.

What? What's so funny?

Don't worry, it's not your fault.

What isn't my fault? You just can't apologise.

It's true.

Even when you were a little boy, you were bad at saying you were sorry.

That's when we knew you were going to make a good lawyer.

Thanks. I really am. You're getting a voicemail. Loosen the apron strings,

She's a big girl. I'm not happy about this. Grant Wilkes is a lot older than

her.

Huh?

What's up, dude?

Taylor.

It's right.

I'm not a shitbrain. About me, I mean.

No job, no prospects.

Like you said, bro, that ain't true. You got Mr. Hong.

But that's the problem.

Hong's all I've got.

Last couple of weeks, I've been going mental not being able to go to work.

And now, the bastards give me two days off.

Dude, you're turning into one of them. What? One of them dudes that's always

working. Next, you're going to be buying a suit and talking about paying taxes.

Working for Hong's all I've got going on in my life. You've got a holiday, man.

Stop complaining.

With no money.

Two more days of hanging around and waiting to go back to work.

When did my life get so boring?

We've got two days to sit right here and smoke some fat boys.

I'm out.

Shit, man. This is no good.

Reza, there's got to be more to life than driving me to Hong and getting

You're right.

We've got to get away from it all.

I'm going to help you reconnect with who you are the best way I know how.

Oh, of course.

Yes, yes, yes, of course.

No, no, no, no. No, the autobiography can wait.

No, I need to be there. I'll drive straight back.

Yeah, you too.

Ciao.

One of the triplets is ill.

No. Which one?

That's what I know. They all look the same.

I'm going to have to drive back.

Sorry.

It's alright.

We'll have to drive back.

Probably wants an old looker off.

Oh, shit.

So, you were driving kind of erratically there.

Casey?

Back at work already?

They gave me counselling and put me back on traffic police twice a week.

I used to stalk her.

She gave me a pants. Yeah, all right.

You just let us go now.

Oh, God!

We're just giving you a blowy. It's not like we were breaking the law.

Paparazzi. Cool.

Oh.

Not cool.

Three points on your license and you're maximally fine.

Have a nice day, sir.

What did you tell my husband?

Sorry, did I spoil the surprise?

Now every cop within a 15 -mile radius knows about it. And me and the girls

taken a lot of shit.

Some prick made a peephole brawler out of Mandy's riot gear this morning.

That's nice.

We're pissed off.

Don't blame me, blame your husband.

You promised discretion.

Come on, Terry, what's the big deal? Give us our money back.

You found your order form and we started the work.

You'll get your stuff on time.

That's a promise, OK?

Why did you promise her that?

I had no choice.

But how are we going to get all the stuff ready for the weekend? I don't

Johnny. I've tried everything. I even went to Donny. Nothing.

They won't even take my calls anymore. Why don't we break into things and deal

what we need?

No, it was us.

It would help if we knew who Quentin had given the money to.

I've told you, he won't.

Tell me. Then you'll just have to find out, won't you, Chrissie? Threaten him.

Use one of your sex toys. I don't think he actually wants me to spank him around

the face with this thing, Linz. It's a fantasy.

Think, Steve. Zombies don't speak.

I'm famous.

Here, Matt.

What? Is that bird?

That bird is my daughter.

He's just like us. He's got no idea.

It's a compliment.

Two things I thought you'd like to know. My father's decided to use your firm

after all. No, you can resist.

I told him not to, actually.

And I only agreed on the proviso that you aren't to handle any of my family's

highly lucrative business.

Vicky. If I'm going to make partner... Not once they find out Taylor Carter is

as much a Muslim as I am.

What was the other thing?

This is just a slut.

Dude, can I keep it when you're finished?

Hey, that's my sister.

I know. What are you two doing reading the paper?

In my day, they put stars on the nipples.

Just there.

Were you followed?

How should I know?

Well, if someone was following you, that's how you'd know. Was someone

you? Right, don't be such an arsehole. You were the one who called me.

My life's gone to hell, Casey.

Ever since that played, they hit the shelves. I can't see you anymore.

I came in because I thought you wanted to see me. Casey, I need you to

promise... Do you know that documentary about the IVF? The one where they did

that test on your bollocks?

What?

Better do not as much as this.

It's not my fucking fault. There are people here putting those pictures on

walls. I've got to go to sleep listening to... The sound of people masturbating

over our daughter. I really don't need to hear that, thanks. Neither do I.

Deal with it.

Please.

Lindsay.

I found out where the money is. It worked. Thank God for that.

Yeah, it was beautiful.

Who has it?

Dimitri. Dimitri Mavrilov.

Dimitri Mavrilov? I think Matt dealt with him a couple of times. Where can we

find him?

Oh. You didn't ask, did you?

I know he's Greek.

Oh, great. We're looking for a Greek man.

Oh, we are.

I'm sorry.

It's just that Quentin was annoyed because I got the wax in his eye. And

gave me the name, I figured we had enough.

He could hardly speak.

Plus, I had to take off the cock ring because the balls were turning orange.

It's a nightmare.

Where are we?

We're here.

Where?

Nah, no way. I'm not sleeping in a tent.

You need to throw your head out, man.

This is the place.

Why, it's fucking horrible.

My old man used to bring me here when I was younger. Every Easter. Give me the

keys.

No. Reza, come on. I'm not sleeping in no shitty tent. Now give me the keys.

No.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing, man? Take off me! You're going to hurt

man.

That was really stupid.

You're going to thank me, my friend.

And what are we supposed to do now? Wait till they come out the other end.

Now?

We... What you said before about me apologising. It's true.

No, it's not.

You are and always have been terrible at it. I say sorry all the time.

But you never mean it.

Yes, I do.

Do you want a demonstration of how you apologise?

OK. What's the sound of one hand clapping?

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

I don't know.

Oh, God, I'm really sorry. I don't know what came over me. I'm really sorry.

Funny. You think you apologise, but you don't.

This is really helpful.

Whoever she is, you must really like her.

Right, so that zombie is slain now.

Bastard! Jesus, when did this turn into a group therapy room for the car?

He dumped me.

So I screwed this silly old bastard for no reason. And he said I can't go to the

press. So?

You want to be famous? Now's your chance.

Huh? At the moment, you're just the mystery blonde.

If you tell your story, you could be a whole lot more.

I could be your agent.

For a percentage, obviously.

See?

Peaceful, isn't it?

We got anything for dinner?

Cool.

Oh, sweet.

Just fire up the cooker and we're golden.

You did bring one, right?

Was I supposed to?

Jesus, Reza, you idiot.

I thought you said you'd been camping before with your old man.

Just chill, dude.

Enjoy the peaceful sounds of nature.

I'm bored.

Bored or incredibly relaxed?

Bored, you wanker.

Dry noodle?

Up on yourself, love.

Not short of money there, Quinton. Come with me.

I thought I might be seeing you.

Did you give that money to Dimitri Mavronos? That's all I need to know.

did. There's a big deal going down.

Can you get it back?

From Dimitri.

Not a chance.

He can't be that bad.

I value my testicles, Lindsay.

Yes, so I've heard.

Mavrolos will get us our money back. Don't sweat it. But if I go to him, piss

him off.

Like he's on crack or something. The guy's crazy.

Christ, all you men are fucking useless.

I'll do it myself.

Ah, yeah. You're joking, right?

Right?

Doctor do many tests. Is she healthy?

Better than healthy.

Pregnant!

Pete!

What? What's with the snuggling?

We're warm. It's so cold.

Yeah, well, we wouldn't be cold if you brought some proper blankets.

Chill out, man. Let's go for a walk. Get back to nature.

No. No way. Let's see.

Where are you going?

Home. You put your arse in the nearest road. I don't care. I'll walk.

Dude, I'm only trying to help.

I thought we could hang out, have some fun.

Yeah? Well, you've fallen wrong.

I'm going back to work.

I loved him, and I thought he loved me.

Yeah, yeah, that's perfect.

Photographer wants me to do something with my boobs out.

No, Casey, this is about you reclaiming your dignity.

Right.

You all right?

Yes. Right.

How about the cover line?

I'm not the slut that everyone thinks I am.

Celebrity homewrecker speaks out.

There's your cover.

Sir, have you sorted Katie out? I've got more important things to worry about.

More important things? And our daughter appearing naked in a local rag?

Yeah, like owing money to a load of female cops.

Bain's wife, her mother.

Bain's wife? What, he's married?

Yeah, he is.

God, what kind of bird would marry him?

An uptight one who will hunt me down unless I return her money.

Or give her some incredibly sexy underwear.

I need to find Dimitri Mavrilov.

Dimitri? Yeah.

What's wrong with him?

He's the one who got my money.

That would make me tired.

Never again.

Do you know where to find him? Yeah, I know where he is. I'm not going to tell

you. Matt, I need the money.

He's not the kind of guy you reason with.

Why, don't you?

He answers.

You couldn't hold this, could you?

Oh, what is that? That is disgusting.

Oh, dear.

You do realise that littering is an arrestable offence?

Who are you?

Terry or Mum.

Terry Baines sends her regards.

This caution will be processed unless the delivery is made.

You're evil.

I'm just doing my job.

So is Gerring.

Five minutes. That's all I want.

I've realised what a problem is here.

Have you?

My inability to apologise.

See, I'm not sorry.

Not sorry at all. Not in the slightest.

Is there a novel approach?

Vicky Hong, you would not believe how not sorry I am I slept with you.

And why should I be?

It was the best sex I've had in my life.

Bar none.

And here's the thing.

I'd lie to you all over again if I got the chance to be with you once more.

Sorry?

Not a fucking chance.

So that's it for the apology?

Pretty much, yeah.

I'm proud.

It's here!

I have got proper modelling agencies interested in me.

Of course you actually are the slut that everyone thinks you are.

I'm officially hot.

Don't forget my 20 % of your heat. Uh, yeah, of the magazine sales, not of my

modelling career.

You're only hot because of an article that I set up. Yeah? So?

So none of the words in this article are yours.

No one reads the words anymore, Leanna.

Why do you need to read words when you can look at these?

So you did the topless one, then. It's quite tasteful.

I think you're a backstabbing cow.

Yeah, well, I'm a star now, so I don't need you anymore, do I?

And kiss your money goodbye.

What? You're parked illegally.

No, I'm not.

You're Vin Carter, yes?

Yes. Then you're parked illegally.

But my boss will be back in a minute. He makes me pay that shit myself.

Oh, I'll cry myself to sleep about that tonight.

But you're a police officer, not a traffic warden. You can't legally give

ticket, can you?

I haven't done anything.

I mean, I break the law a lot.

Well... Not a lot, just a bit, and not so much as break but bend, and probably

not illegally.

What's your point? This time I'm innocent. It's like iconic or something.

You can thank your mum and tell her Terry Bain wants her money.

What are you doing?

Cutting out my best sheets to make erotic underwear.

Right.

Why? A bit more than plumbing because I'm kind of busy.

Yeah. Who's Terry Bain? Is she Bain as in, you know, Bain? Yeah, how come?

Bitch gave me a parking ticket and I didn't even do anything.

Said to thank you for it. I owe her either a load of money or a load of

underwear, hence... So where's the money now, then?

Chrissie lent it to her loser boyfriend who then gave it all to some bloke

called Dimitri Mavrolos.

Dimitri Mavrolos? Yeah.

Well, let's just go ask him.

It's quite simple as that, then.

Well, we can go and see him now if you like.

Why, do you know him?

Yeah, I used to go to school with him and he owns a place I got to pick up my

weed. Come on.

Look, do you want to go or not?

I'm not sure about this, Vin. Your dad said he was bad news. Look, I know him a

lot better than Dad.

The guy talks crazy, but he's a big softy. He went to university.

How bad can he be?

Besides, I could do with getting out of the house.

And picking up a quarter while you're at it, no doubt.

Dimitri.

Hey. Vincent Carter.

Who is he?

She's my mum, Lindsay.

Oh, yeah.

Vincent Carter is a beautiful man.

Please, take a seat.

Martin is not here, Vincent.

So if you and your mother have come for weed, I'm afraid you're out of luck.

Actually, I came to see you.

Forgive me.

Would you like some?

No, we're fine, thanks.

The reason we're here is that Quentin Carroll gave you some money and, um...

Well, it wasn't actually his to give.

It's mine.

Do you know the best thing about owning a place?

Here I can do what I want.

Drugs. Oh,

Jesus!

I want to know.

What do you think you're doing? There's plenty of officers outside watching that

case that you've been talking to. Why?

You'd be fucking hell if you didn't hold it real, Lindsay.

You mean it's dangerous?

Yeah, incredibly.

What about then?

of her boyfriend two grand. He gave it to Dimitri. I'm trying to get it back.

Well, you're a very determined lady, put it that way, Lindsay.

This business of yours is pretty racy stuff.

Well, don't get too excited, because after today, you're never going to get

experience it.

Experience what?

If I don't get that money back, I'm screwed.

Which means no French -made fantasy for you, and I get your bitch wife on my

family's back for the rest of my life. Ex -wife.

In fact, it's soon to be ex -wife, and we're separated.

Are you right about the bitch thing?

No, the French maid outfit's actually for a big cheese at, you know, Scotland

Yard that she's banging at the moment.

Anyway, what do you care, right?

Your business has just gone down the toilet.

That's that of my day.

My name is Detective Sergeant Ed Vane. I'm arresting you on suspicion of

possession of a Class A narcotic with intent to supply.

Okay? Come on! All right, party's over!

I don't usually do this.

What?

Sleep with men, I hardly know.

You pretended to be someone else when you first slept with me.

You pretend to be a mudlin to get your job.

So, who are you, truthfully?

I really want to say Batman.

You're not getting away with it that easily, Taylor.

If that is your real name.

Look, things just spiralled out of control.

You realise you're mine now.

I know all your little secrets.

All your lies.

You have to do as I please.

So, get naked, Batman.

Robin's ready to go again.

I think we should nip this wrong play in the bud.

Holy moly, Batman.

That's actually my line.

I need your help.

Already? There's got to be some sort of record.

So, I was at home and there was this knock on the door.

Katie!

Why are you telling me this? Because it's all your fucking fault, that's why.

Paige, I read what you said about me.

I had no idea you felt that way. But I meant that much to you.

It's not funny. It actually is. Well, it gets worse.

I've moved out of the house.

Well, actually, Sandy kicked me out, but that's good.

Good, because I've got space. Space to really think and... God, I love you,

Casey.

No. Yeah.

Come with me.

We'll live in the forest.

Like wood folk, feasting off the land and making love all day.

He's probably still waiting for me outside.

So what do I do?

Remember when you screwed me out my 20 %?

Deanna, I'll give you 50, please. I don't think so. I hope you and Grant are

very happy together as wood folk.

Dude, you don't have to knock.

What do you want? I want to apologise for what happened this morning.

Next time you want to apologize, you might want to come to my place rather

dragging me out here. Dude, some bad shit went down today.

Dimitri got pinched. No way.

Yeah.

Turns out he's a bad, bad motherfucker.

Makes you realize who your friends really are.

I promise I won't let Mr. Hong take over my life anymore.

So what do you want to do? I've got the rest of the day off.

Actually, I kind of need to go home and lie down. Come on, Richard, don't be

lame, man.

Have you ever crapped out a car key?

You don't know what it's like.

Where are you off to, slutty? I've got a job.

Apparently my bone structure's, like, perfect for the new Big Biggie T by

Video. Big Biggie?

Yeah, he's a new rapper.

Apparently he's going to be, like, really big.

Biggie's getting bigger.

Yeah, I told you I was hot.

When did they call?

An hour ago.

You're so hot they gave you an hour's notice for a job.

Sounds to me like you're not exactly number one on the list, Kate.

You're just jealous of the supple contours on my body, Rihanna. That's my

from the interview. You can't quote me back at me.

Watch me, bitch.

I'm here for the music video.

Do you know what the T stands for in the big, big, duddy T -bone?

Casey.

Thanks for coming.

Oh, my God.

You're... The woman whose husband you shagged, yes.

Look, if you've got me here to beat me up, then I think I should warn you. I

know judo.

I underestimated you when I chose you.

Chose me?

For what?

Mermaid cake.

I found your internet page.

I knew you'd be perfect.

I don't understand.

I know how Grant likes them.

Wait.

You wanted me to show him.

Intelligence as well as judo skills. Look, if this is some weird swingers

thing... Oh, don't be ridiculous.

much nicer on TV.

Yeah, I am.

Which is the point, Casey. I'm meant to be the knife following the magazines and

on the television, not you. And certainly not Grant.

He gets caught shagging some brainless tart. I get lots of sympathy. And you

screw it all up. I'm so confused.

No closer, bitch.

I chose you to shag my husband to make me look good.

It was meant to be a tacky sex fest.

And then I get divorced and launch my baby clothing range.

And get to keep the lifestyle to which I've become accustomed.

You turned it into something romantic.

The public love you and they love Grant and they love the two of you together

and that wasn't... That wasn't supposed to happen.

Look, I'm sorry.

If it makes me feel any better, it was a tacky sex fest.

Not even a very good one.

Wait, so you don't love him?

No. I only said that stuff to help my career.

What if I helped you with your career?

How? I could get you a job on TV.

Wait, why should I trust you any more than I trust him?

Casey, I want to humiliate him in the most public way possible.

Now, it will mean you taking Grant back into your life.

But you'll get your reward.

Trust me.

Yeah, you need to double -check this.

All of it?

Yeah, well, the cash tape doesn't match up. You overcount it.

Really? But I checked it twice.

Harrison, check it again.

It's your money.

How did you end up with it?

I didn't end up with it. You just ended up with it. How?

Bloody hell, Lizzie, do you want it back or not? Yeah, of course I do. I just

want to know how you ended up with it. It doesn't really matter, does it? I

mean, you know, it's your money. You just got it back.

Just leave it at that.

This is where you say to me, thank you very much.

No, this is where I say why.

This is what cops are supposed to do, isn't it?

Look out for hard -working, honest people.

Lindsay, it's your money.

I'm just returning it to you.

Thank you.

Your pleasure.

Did you just call me honest?

It's been a very long day.

Actually, there is one condition, Lindsay.

What?

Well... When you're making my soon -to -be ex -wife's knickers, could you make

them a size too small, please, so she thinks she's getting fat?

No, that would be against our company ethics.

Ethics? I think you're going a bit too far with this honest thing. But then

again, accidents have been known to happen, so... Good, good, good.

See you.

See you later.