Original subtitles

Good times, any time you need a payment. Good times, any time you need a free.

Good times, any time you're out and under.

Not getting hassled, not getting hustled. Keeping your head up for water.

Making a way when you can.

Temporary.

Pancakes are good.

Girl, you sure you made them?

Sure. Mmm.

Yeah, Thelma, these pancakes are really good. Next time, try to remember what

you did wrong.

I just had more time to practice since Mom's been away visiting.

Boy, before when you used to make pancakes, they were so bad, Aunt Jemima

blindfold on them.

JJ1, Thelma, 11 to 7.

And besides, Keith loves pancakes. Maybe this will cheer him up.

Yeah, Thelma, you know your husband's been pretty down lately.

As a matter of fact, last night he went to sleep on the Miss Black Universe

pageant. That's not down, that's deceased.

Come on, now, try to understand, Keith. He's been working hard lately.

I mean, driving that cab part -time and then spending his days off job hunting

with you, Mr. Hardcore Unemployment of the Year.

Hey, brother -in -law, why don't you cop a squat, man? The food is edible for a

change. Bad.

Don't feed him pancakes. Throw him raw meat.

I'm not hungry.

Oh, come on, Keith. You have to eat something.

Oh,

later?

Okay, you're going to eat later, right?

He's going to eat later.

Well,

Thelma, that's enough pancakes for me. I'm full.

Tell you, them pancakes go right to my hips.

And then they evaporate.

Well, hey, Keith, I feel lucky today.

Boy, the first stop we're going to make to is that little accounting agency. You

know, where they have that foxy little personnel director with no liabilities

and plenty of assets.

I can feel it. Keith, I feel lucky. I had a dream last night that she hired

of us. Boy, I know something's gonna happen today. I can't wait to hit them

streets. I'm not going.

Say what?

Try and read my lips, totem pole. I said I'm not going.

Oh, Keith, why not?

Yeah, man, it's better than sitting around here all day. Look, every day off

the past three weeks, I've been out looking for a job, right?

And all I got to show for it are tired feet, scuffed shoes, and enough uncut

jive to sell it wholesale.

You know, Keith, I know it's tough, man, but they say the unemployment rate in

the ghetto is over 50%. Yeah, and the other 50 % are out looking for work.

The answer is through education.

Speaking of that, I better hurry up before I'm late. Later, y 'all.

Might as well be late. You ain't gonna find no job when you graduate anyway.

Well, maybe not, but at least I know how to read the one ads, brother.

I don't know what you're feeling so down about. At least you did get one job

offer. Oh, Keith, you got a job offer? JJ, I told you not to bring that up.

Man, I swear, if your mouth was any bigger, you'd swallow your own head.

Come on, Keith, tell me about it. All right.

They wanted me to go door -to -door selling Howard Cosell piggy banks.

What? That's right, Howard Cosell piggy banks.

Oh, and when you put the money in his mouth, he starts talking, right?

No, you put money in his mouth to make him shut up.

J .J., if you want to keep on going out there, you go on ahead.

But I've got too much pride to keep on spending my time listening to a bunch of

garbage from all those people.

Too much pride.

Keith, where are you going?

I'm going to the bathroom. There are some things I'm still pretty good at,

know.

Keith. I mean, he used to be so level -headed, so cool, so suave.

And all of a sudden, he lost it. You know, with a little more training, he

have been another me.

Hi, y 'all. Hey, Wilona.

Velma, here's the blueberry muffins I made for Keith. Honey, there's only one

thing on Earth sweeter and more tender than these little darlings.

What's that, Wilona? I don't know. I ain't met him yet.

Blueberry muffins for Keith, huh? Mm -hmm.

I'll tell you, boy, the only thing he's been sinking his teeth into around here

has been us.

Wait a minute, honey. You must be jiving. After all the work I went

staying up all night long, starting from scratch, you going to tell me he's...

Yeah, y 'all.

Well, no, no.

Oh, wee. It's a wonder you ain't in jail, because you certainly are dressed

kill this morning.

Sinking his teeth into you, huh?

No, no, no, no. Don't tell me. Don't tell me. No, it can't be. Not my

Not those delicious blueberry muffins.

Uh -huh. Yay!

Lord have mercy. Good looking and good cooking.

Now, what you trying to do? Throw Betty Crocker out on her buns?

Mm. Either he's got a twin in that bathroom, or we're in the Twilight Zone.

Yeah, yeah. These will be great degrees on while me and JJ go job hunting.

Job hunting? But you said that we were going to not. Come on, man. There's a

whole new world out there for us. What the?

And one day, Scarlet, all this will be yours.

Tara, the plantation, the river, the dam.

No, wait.

Frankly, Scarlet, I won't give a damn.

Oh, oh, yes, he is. One minute. Keith?

Hey, I told Donna Summer not to call me here.

Hello?

Malona, if you had been here ten minutes ago, you'd have seen that Keith had all

the charm of a shark with root canal work.

Could you all excuse me a minute? This is kind of private.

Oh, come outside and tell me what's going on.

Well, I'll go start the dishes.

Hello, Joe.

Hey, what's happening, man?

When did you get in?

Oh, me? I can't complain.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, man.

Just give me a couple more months. My leg will be better.

I'll be out there again.

Hey, look, why don't you give me your phone number, ma 'am?

Uh -huh.

Oh, Keith, why don't you invite him? No, no, no, I got to go. See you later,

Joe. Got to split.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, that's all right, babe. That was Joe Stanton, an old college teammate of

mine. He's going to be in town for a couple of days. I told him I'd drop by

got the chance.

Oh, you must really like him. He sure cheered you up. You kidding?

Me and Joe, we were so tight in college, if he got dandruff, I had to shampoo.

Playing for the Miami Dolphins.

Signed up for a second year.

I gotta go, babe.

Bye -bye. Bye.

Bye -bye.

Greetings,

unemployment fans.

Hey, where's Keith?

He'll be up in a minute. He's downstairs arguing with Bookman.

Bookman? What did Bookman do this time?

Nothing, but he's not doing it the way Keith wants him to.

Say, as far as Keith's concerned, old Fang Face is back.

Bad day, huh?

Well, let me put it to you this way. It's the kind of day Donnie would punch

Marie.

I don't know. That Keith is something.

It's those crazy, unpredictable moods of his. It's like pounding the pavement

with the Incredible Hulk.

Hey, that's not fair, now. You're making it sound like Keith has an emotional

problem.

and I'm going to prove it to you.

Hello, sweetheart.

I have a surprise for you. Who cares?

Like putty in your hand.

Hey, brother -in -law, what's wrong, man? The employers turn you down?

Yeah, white employers, black employers, Chicano employers, Eskimo employers.

I'm an equal opportunity reject.

And you know, Keith, you just can't go around threatening personnel directors.

I didn't threaten nobody.

Oh, yeah? What do you call putting a man's tie in an electric pencil

Man, then you had it all the way up to the knot till I stopped you.

Uh, Keaton, I want you to sit down over here and relax yourself, and let me tell

you about this problem, okay? Are you pregnant?

No. Then I don't want to hear about it.

Well, it's about your friend Joe Stennett. I invited him for dinner

Here? Yeah. You invited Joe here without asking me? Are you crazy?

I don't care what you thought. If I wanted him over here, I'd have asked him

here myself.

Now call him and cancel.

Oh, Keith, come on now. I already cooked dinner.

Then warn him and he'll call and cancel.

Keith, he'll be here in a few minutes, Tina.

Damn it, Thelma, you had no right butting into my business like that.

Oh, Keith. Get out of my way.

I guess I showed him.

Okay, where is he, huh? Where is he?

Hey there, Bookman. Don't Bookman me. Look, Thelma, I got a bone to pick with

your husband.

Well, if you're involved, that's the only thing that's left.

Am I laughing?

Is there joy on this sensitive face?

No. And you want to know why?

Because all I did was ask that nut who he likes in the Super Bowl. You know

he said?

She won't be able to fit in the Super Bowl.

Bookman, look here. Let me explain.

Let me explain.

See, Keith has gone cuckoo.

See, what happened is that Keith's been under a lot of tension and strain

lately, you understand?

Yo -Yo City, Bookman. Yo -Yo City.

So on behalf of the family and everybody involved, We wish our sincere

apologies. And we will talk to Keith about this and promise you that this

never happen again.

And my apologies also to your big fat mama.

Hey!

T .T., I heard what you said. And I didn't like it one bit.

Keith is not a nut.

Oh, yeah? Well, if he's a tree, I wouldn't want to stand under him.

I think he's thick.

Physically, that is.

You can call me Ray, and you can call me Dave.

Michael, the only time he seems to be happy is when he comes out of that

bathroom.

And I got a hunch on where he's getting his medicine.

Michael, let's check in here while Keith is changing his clothes.

JJ, I don't even know what we're looking for, man.

Anything happy, Michael. Anything happy.

Now, what kind of clue is that?

Michael, right now, that's the best clue that I got.

Don't just stand there. Are you going to help me? I'm helping.

Boy, let's just pray that I'm wrong this time.

But any man that can get happy that fast can't be doing it alone.

Wait a minute, JJ. How do we know that Keith is doing...

Wait a minute. Now, who be stupid enough to hide?

Yeah.

Either this is Keith's joy juice or the tidy bowl man has a new boat.

Vodka? Yes, vodka.

The Russian revenge.

No wonder Keith's been acting crazy lately, man. He done killed this bottle,

too. Yeah.

No wonder he thinks he's a king.

His throne is 90 proof.

And then the coach held up this size 40 double D cup bra and said, what you call

this, Janet?

Dolly Parton knee pads?

And speaking of holidays, did you know this is National Take a Limit at Lunch

Week?

Oh, that's right.

So let's get rid of these booze and let's break out the lemonade. The

This good 20 -year -old scotch go to waste.

Come on. Joe brought this by to help keep things lively, didn't you, Joe?

on, Keefe.

Yo, man.

Remember that, Keefe?

Yeah, yeah. Hold on a second. Who used to call me that? It was... That girl.

That girl, right. What was her name?

Annette. Annette!

until you've seen Annette, ugliest girl on campus.

That's the bottom.

Scotch.

Thelma, that girl was so ugly, we were going to make her the team mascot and

change the name of the team to the orangutan.

half a year now.

Don't we, Joe?

Helps keep things lively, huh?

Keith, a little toast first. A little toast. All right. I'll drink to that.

All right.

Here's to Keith and Thelma. And may they always have happiness and health. Amen.

And may prosperity be just down the road. All right.

And may they always have the respect of their friends and relatives.

brick road to their future.

We're all little lambs that have lost our way.

Bah, ha, bah, ha, bah.

We're all little lambs that have lost enough, enough, enough.

And as Jackie Gleeson would say,

I think you've had enough. Hey, hey, hey. Come on now. Enough.

Well, excuse me. I didn't know my daddy played for the Dolphins.

Let go of the bottle, Keith.

I smell dessert.

Is there anything else I can do for you, brother?

Like wash your car?

Shine your shoes?

You know, we poor folk, we supposed to be able to do that pretty good, you

Keith, please.

No, no, Thelma, it's cool.

Stennett, you ain't fooling nobody.

The only reason you came by here tonight was the hope of seeing me on crutches.

Oh, wow, man, you have it all. Yeah, you just switched it with last year, so

then you would have been the one up for the Heisman Trophy, right?

Right? You were jealous of me then, and you're still jealous, you jive sucker.

Look.

Get it.

I think I better go.

No, Joe, don't go nowhere, man. We still got stories to tell, man.

Like how about that Ohio State game?

Look, man, I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, I didn't think you

would, so let me fresh your memory.

J .J., get out there.

Oh, Keith, I thought I was staying here. I said get out there.

Keith, you're embarrassing everybody.

Would you shut up?

Now, it was our ball, third down.

in Long Yardage. It was me over here and Joe was over here.

Now hike the ball, J .J.

What ball?

Hike the ball!

Please stop it. Would you let me finish?

You're drunk!

I said shut up!

J .J., I swear, man.

Oh, man.

Hey,

Michael. I don't want to hear it.

Yeah, you better have a good excuse for this one, Keith.

Otherwise, I'm going to put you in every shot glass across Chicago.

Hey, hey, everybody.

Hey, I'm sorry.

Hey, Joe, man.

Oh, who are you going to tell, man?

Me?

or your wife.

Tell me, would it help at least if I said I'm sorry?

Come on, babe, I know you're upset, but running away won't solve anything.

You sure got that right.

Because I live here.

These things are yours.

I should have known that.

Can't we at least talk about it, babe?

Talk? Talk about what?

Just who the hell do you think you are?

Do I look like a punching bag to you?

Now I understand.

No, you don't understand, babe.

Do you know what it's like to be one of the best running backs in the world and

have your leg and your life snap out from under you and end up driving cab

-time? Babe, you can't begin to understand.

And this understands, right?

A bottle of fermented potatoes understand.

Don't you know I love you?

I'm only 24 years old.

Since when has life ended 24?

You want to play...

We're going to start all over again, right?

Right.

Everything even between us?

Right.

Then I owe you something.

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