Original subtitles

Good time, anytime you need a payment. Good time, anytime you need a friend.

Good time, anytime you're out and under.

Not getting hassled, not getting hustled.

Keeping your head above water.

Making a way when you can.

Temporary layoffs. Good time.

This is just the middle of the afternoon.

Hey, I was just warming up for the Super Bowl tonight.

But we won last night. That was a tie. Now we're into sudden death.

Yours or mine.

Okay, this time I'll kick it off.

Spike the ball.

We took it right into the end zone.

Well, Keith's a little tired, but there's a couple of substitutes that's

to come in, like this one.

I love you, baby.

You can't cook chicken beforehand, but frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn.

Let's see.

That was Bill Cosby, right? Right.

You see, I love your walk.

It's cool and smooth as lotion.

But I've never seen a better backfield in motion.

but you were hardly sorry.

Oh, it's all right. I know about newlyweds.

It's a beautiful feeling, isn't it? Yeah, Ma, it is beautiful. Yes, Ma, it

really is.

Where's your laundry?

Oh, it's in a box next to the bed.

Yeah, I couldn't make it to the hamper.

I'd have to have it made.

Right.

Ma, you want me to help you with the laundry?

No, no, sweetheart.

I'd like to finish today.

Let me see. Where were we? Oh, yes.

Oh, Thelma, sweetheart, love of mine.

Oh, please.

Give me one more kiss, one more sublime.

Now, why did I ever see anything like this on

Sesame Street?

watching Sesame Street?

Because Big Bird can't park her. What?

Mom, they're just messing around.

Messing around? Now, where'd you learn that?

The kids in school used it, so they went after Tay -Tay.

That's not funny.

Now, Penny, I told you not to run around with those kind of kids.

You have to pick your friends more carefully.

Hey, Wilona, lighten up.

Hi, Wilona.

Hi, Penny. Hi, Florida.

Can I help you sort the laundry?

Sure.

Come on, baby.

You take the laundry soap down to the laundry room for Mama, okay?

All righty.

You'd think you'd keep your intimate garments out of sight.

Intimate garments?

Oh, you mean... Okay, sure. I know what I mean.

Well, Anna, can I ask you a personal question?

What are you so worked up about?

Are you aware of the things that's going on around here?

Well, that's because they are newlyweds.

What do you want them to do, arm wrestle?

It's practically a Roman orgy.

Are you serious? Yes, I am.

Does this go on all the time? No, we break for lunch on Tuesdays and

Come on, let's go to our room, baby. You mean by ourselves?

Unless Wilona wants to chaperone.

Flo.

Wilona. What's going on? I'll tell you what's going on.

You know Penny's friend Tina, age 13, is pregnant.

Oh, no.

Yes, the babies are having babies now.

She had to drive by the school.

I'm worried sick about Penny.

She's going up too fast asking questions.

Last month she wanted to know about Peter Rabbit.

This month it's the rabbit test.

Well, I'm worried about Penny, too.

But I think it's time you explained to her about sex.

Oh, honey, you talking about my daughter.

I'm not going to explain that to her until she's ready.

Girl, this neighborhood is not a finishing school.

It's the ghetto.

Now, if you don't explain it to her, she's going to hear it in the street.

And she's going to hear it wrong and from the wrong people.

Remember, Wilona.

I've been a mother for over 20 years to your one.

That's all well and good. I respect you for all that.

But if it's all the same to you, I'd like to raise my daughter the way I want

to. Now, you do me one favor and mind your own business.

Well, I guess I'll sort my laundry. I'll help you.

Mama?

Flo, is the bedroom door closed?

No, no, no, please.

Mama, I just remembered.

I need some gym shorts for school.

I'll get them for you this weekend, baby. But I need them for tomorrow.

Well... Oh, it's okay. I'll borrow some for my friend, Tina.

Tina.

No, no, no.

Don't you go in there, Tina.

But, Mama, she's just my size and she's my friend. Stay away from that girl.

Maybe she's right, sweetheart.

They're having problems over there.

You see, Tina has... Stomach mumps.

Stomach mumps.

And it's very contagious.

Baby, now she's really sick.

Promise me you'll stay away from her, understand? Stay away.

Okay. Okay.

Well, Lola. Huh?

Tina is pregnant.

Shh. Lola, don't you hear that?

Hey, Lola, what's happening?

Oh, hi, JJ.

How'd your job interview turn out?

Well, Ma, there's good news and bad news.

The bad news is somebody got hired just before me.

The good news is I got myself a date with the personnel director.

So while she's going over my forms, I will be going over her forms.

That's it. That's it. Come on, baby.

Wait for Mama at home. But I'm just sitting down. That's all right, darling.

go home now, please.

Well, I... Hey.

Why can't you ever go job hunting and come back unemployed like all the other

black kids in Chicago?

Now you see what I'm talking about. Oh, Galona, you know how J .J. is.

Yeah, just like everybody else these days.

Like the two kids on the bus this morning. Couldn't have been no older

Penny. And would you believe, they were sitting in the back seat, hugging and

kissing so fast and furious, the bus driver could have stopped the bus and

coasted all the way across town on pure friction.

Well, if parents would take time to teach their children about sex, they

wouldn't have to cheapen it on a bus.

What are you talking about the parents?

They teach sex in school now?

They do.

Hey, I'm going back for my extra credit.

I'm just joking, Mom.

Hi, everybody.

Hey, Michael.

Hey, J .J., what's going on around here?

Well, they're talking about sex.

Is Mama for it?

Well, we're here to figure it out.

Look, whatever they teach in school, it's still the parents' final

responsibility. It's your duty to make sure that Penny knows all there is to

know about sex.

Now, wait just one minute.

I'll let her read the newspaper, look at television.

I buy those little fancy T -shirts with the names across the front. Yeah, but

all they have is a picture of Leon Spinks on them, saying, look, Ma, no

cavities.

You know, she's going to learn everything you're trying to shield her

out of this newspaper.

All she's going to learn from that is how to make doilies.

Oh, I make an objectionable article from time to time, but what is wrong with

that? I'll tell you what's wrong with that.

You're avoiding your responsibilities, and you're blaming it on society and the

schools. That's right. All the schools taught me was how to dissect frogs.

Yeah, and that don't come in handy unless your old lady's got a thing for

pads.

She is just 13 years old.

So Thelma was only 11 when I told her all about it, and Michael was even

than that. Oh, it was J .J. Well, Michael, now you're getting to an

case.

Me and Ma sat down and had our first little conflab when I was at the tender

of six and a half.

Six and a half? You don't call that early.

Yeah, but Ma was always a good learner.

Michael. Yeah, Ma?

Don't you have some studying to do?

Oh, yeah, you're right. I got to go to the library and do some research. Lady,

uh... J .J., I thought you had a date.

Oh, yeah, I do, Ma, with Boom Boom Belinda.

We're going over to the frog pond.

I'm going to teach her different croaks for different folks.

Disgusting.

Oh, I am getting sick and tired of this. sudden Puritan attitude.

I seem to recall, Miss Woods, that angels never sang when you crossed the

either. What are you talking about? I'm talking about high school.

Oh, high school.

Yeah. You wore your sweater so tight you had to lift it up to inhale.

What about you? And Kinky Curly, the football player.

I also knew about real love when I met James.

And that's what you should be telling Penny about.

The difference between the two.

Oh, Florida.

I'm getting sick and tired of you telling me how to raise my daughter.

That goes with the light thing. Now you're mixing the light with the dark.

Florida, don't you understand? I don't want Penny to end up pregnant like Tina.

Since when does knowing about sex mean getting pregnant?

It's not knowing that does it.

Penny is my daughter, and I'm going to raise her properly. I don't care how you

raised your kids.

Are you saying that I raised my kids wrong? I'm saying this house is a

bad influence on my daughter, and she may not come back in here no more.

This is my laundry.

That's right. It's your laundry.

Take your laundry.

back in this house again. If your teeth was gone, your last name was Carter.

Goodbye, Mother Goose.

Little lady who lives in a shoe.

Got one child...

Okay, Michael, give me another ten pounds. All right, Keith.

Hey, man, aren't you finished with that resume yet?

Look, Keith, in today's world of business, a man's resume is his

to the galaxy of opportunity.

His first base in the diamond of success.

His training bra in the Dolly Parton of employment.

What position are you applying for?

Lifeguard.

Lifeguards. Lifeguards.

That's right.

Lifeguards. You all heard it the first time.

Those girls will go mad when they see my body unclad.

Listen, Stick, every time you go in the water, you'll be lucky if a dog don't

bring you back between his teeth.

Hey, what now, folks?

Hey, let's show us... fight your mama had with Miss Woods.

Hey, wait a minute, Bookman. Nobody else was supposed to know about that, so how

did you find out?

Well, you know, as they say, the walls have ears.

Yeah, and you're the wall that knows.

Are you saying that I listen to what goes on in here, lifeguard?

Bookman, what'd you come up here to do us out of?

Oh, I'll pay him about $13 .50.

What? That's your share of the repainting cost.

Ms. Wood says she wants all the graffiti on the walls and the elevator cleaned

up. No graffiti on the elevator?

Hold on, Bookman. What are we going to read on a two -hour trip it takes to get

up here?

Hey, look, Bookman, you can't erase that graffiti. Some of that stuff is

classic. What's so classic about a naked woman eating grits?

Hey, come on. I was only 12 years old when I painted that.

I didn't even know I draw clothes then.

me $13 .50.

Hey, come on, but you should be paying me.

One day I'll be as famous as Michelangelo.

People be coming from miles around to see the ceilings of J .J.'s Sistine

Laundry Room.

Look, I'm just doing a favor for Miss Woods.

It's my good deed for the day.

Hey, you know something?

I used to be a Cub Scout.

More like a...

Tub Scout.

One more insult like that and I'll walk right out of that door.

All right, give me a second. I'll think of one.

That's it.

How do you think you would have felt about Jelly Belly?

He wouldn't have liked it.

My kids, it's time to go jogging.

Hey, JJ, hold on to these.

You know, JJ, We got to do something to get Mama and Walona back together again.

I mean, they've been friends for too long to let a silly little argument

them up.

Maybe we can get them to meet at the drugstore.

What would they be doing there?

Buying me a truss for my double hernia.

Michael, watch a real diplomat in action.

isn't it uh would you like to sit down here maybe you'd like to have some

tea milk maybe some pre -washed corn flakes

uh well it's about that little spat you had with alone yesterday

uh y 'all been friends for years and years and years short years though

very very short mama what i think jj is trying to say is that you and Malone

have been friends for too long to let this come between you. I don't want to

hear any more about that woman.

Doesn't she know that each year a million teenage girls get pregnant in

country? Imagine how many get pregnant in the city.

J .J., out of that million, over 13 ,000 are 14 and

under.

Now, it's a sad state of affairs when kids have to guess about sex because

parents are too scared to face facts.

It just isn't right.

Hi.

Penny, what are you doing here?

Now, you know you shouldn't be here.

Well, I just came over to Boston Makes.

I thought it would be okay if I didn't talk or look at anyone.

Then I guess it's all right. Penny, how many eggs do you want?

I'll take a whole carton if you've got it. Mama gave me enough money to pay for

them. Then how come you just didn't go to the store and buy some?

I tried, but I couldn't go in because Tina was there.

Penny, what did Tina have to do with this?

Mama didn't tell you?

You see, Tina's real sick, and I'm not supposed to be around her or else I can

catch her.

Did your mother tell you that?

Uh -huh.

And it's real contagious, too, if you don't get your stomach lump shot.

She's getting real puffy right here.

To me, it looks like she's pregnant.

What did you say, Penny?

I said it looks like she's pregnant.

You know about being pregnant?

Sure. Not much, though. Just what I hear the girls giggling about in school.

Sometimes I want to ask them, but then I feel sort of dumb about it.

Penny, baby, you come over here and sit down.

Aunt Flo want to tell you something.

You see, Penny, it's... So you're here.

I told you I didn't want you to come in here anymore.

But I was just talking to Aunt Flo. That's okay, baby. Let's go home.

Okay.

Can I tell you that it's no fun being alone every day?

Sometimes I wish I had a baby.

You told her to say that.

I did not.

And for your information, Penny already knows more than you give her credit for,

Wilona Woods.

What are you saying, Florida Evans?

I am saying, Wilona Woods, that your little fairy princess is waking up to

real world while you are still having babies with stomach mumps.

Mrs. Evans, you don't tell a child.

That her friend is pregnant. It could cause her to have a trauma.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

It would sure give me one.

You don't mean you told her?

No, I didn't. Penny told me.

She said Tina's puffy stomach made her look pregnant.

But she still doesn't know what she should. And you was going to tell her

everything, huh? Yes, I was, because evidently you weren't. I told you I

tell her when she was ready. And I... decide when she's ready. Me, not you.

Ladies, ladies, please.

Allow the Henry Kissinger of the ghetto to intervene.

Shut up, JJ.

See,

Michael, I told you I'd get him to agree on one thing.

Come on, JJ, let's get out of here and let Mother and Walona talk about this

thing. Oh, when she's ready, I will sit her down and talk to her.

She's ready.

Well, Arnold, you can't gain anything by letting a girl Penny's age run around

Chicago thinking that booster shots will keep her stomach down.

How do I know that she won't get into the same problem that Tina's in if I

her what to do?

You're not telling her what to do.

You're explaining a very natural thing to her.

But if you keep on this way, she'll be scared to death.

She'll... never know that it can also be beautiful.

Oh, I don't know.

I love my daughter. I care what happens.

For God's sakes, prepare her.

Don't just let her think her best friend has got a six -pound, seven -ounce

virus in her belly.

Oh, baby.

Don't cry.

Don't cry. But why did he try to do that?

just a baby child no she's a developing young woman

and it's about time you give her all the information you can now she's had a

terrible experience but you can't let her think that's all there is to sex in

heaven's name wilona take her home and talk to her now but i gotta

i'll call the police

Just looking out of the window, watching the asphalt road,

thinking how it all looks and it dies.

Good times, good times.

Good times is videotape before studio audience.

Making a way when you can.