Original subtitles

Good time, good time, you need a payment. Good time, any time you need a

Good time, any time you're up and under.

Not getting hassled, not getting hustled. Keeping your head above water.

Making a way when you can.

Temporary layoffs. Good time, easy credit ripoffs. Good time,

scratching and surviving. Good time.

Hey, Thelma, what's for dinner?

Onions with chicken backs.

Sounds like another one of your gourmet feasts.

Michael, it's going to have to be that way from now on because we're going to

have to cut down on our household expenses.

Thelma, what could be cheaper than onions with chicken backs?

Onions without chicken backs.

Hi, y 'all.

Hey, Ramona. We finished the pillows for you.

Melana, JJ called with some bad news.

Oh, no.

He didn't get married, did he?

No,

Penny, he just lost half his job.

Lost half his job.

But how can you lose half a job?

Simple. When your boss tells you to stay home two days a week.

It's only temporary.

His ad agency lost some money on one of their accounts, so they had to cut back.

Well, that's a shame.

But three days a week is better than nothing. At least he's still the

breadwinner, even though he's only bringing home half a loaf.

Yeah, well, Lana, but I feel really awful. I went and bought a new dress

yesterday. Lana, you didn't know?

I know, but I can't even return it because they're doing alterations on it.

Well, don't worry, child. The family budget will not sink or swim because of

dress.

Yeah, well, Lana, but you should see me in that dress. I look fantastic. You

wouldn't recognize me.

Does it come with a mask?

That's funny, but not nice.

Good J .J. We'll have to cheer him up when he gets home.

Well, Penny, I think the only thing that can cheer J .J. up is Lola Falana

dancing on his navel.

I just hope she takes off her tap shoes.

foot in the door of the unemployment office to me, huh?

I'll lend you some money for my piggy bank, JJ.

Oh, that's very nice of you. Now, I'll only charge you eight and a half percent

interest.

Compounded annually.

I love this kid.

Okay, I stopped by a supermarket, you know, put an ad in the little thing up

there, the bulletin board. Told them that we had a room to rent.

It's going to be beautiful.

Told them all the details, et cetera, et cetera.

What room?

What et cetera, et cetera.

Now, J .J., you know, it's against the rules, the sublet in the project. Now,

Bookman hears about it, you'll be half out of a job and whole out of an

apartment.

Hey, look here, Bookman won't even recognize the apartment.

You know, I disguised it a smidgen.

That must be the et cetera.

J .J., what room?

Thelma, will you stop saying what room?

Not until I find out what room this board is supposed to stay in. If there's

going to be a board.

Look here, Thelma, I figured I'd question your room. Wrong!

Actually, that's wrong.

Thus, I came up with plan B.

That's where me and Michael sleep in your room, the outsider takes the ante

room, and you, Thelma, will lounge in luxurious splendor on our spanking new

comfy, cozy, contour couch.

JJ, you can take your comfy, cozy, contour couch and crash!

My man, please.

J .J., what about plan C?

I don't recall a plan C. Do you recall having your own room?

J .J., plan C means the boarder would take your room and you and Michael would

sleep on the couch.

That was plan C.

Well, I was just joking. I just wanted to test y 'all, see if y 'all was alert.

Well, the whole thing is ridiculous and it's just out of the question. Yeah,

besides. Who wants to have a strange person living in our house anyway?

Michael, we already have a strange person living in our house.

JJ, I don't like it. I don't like it at all. Hey, Wilona, I don't like it

either. But we got to make up for the green some way. Besides, you made me a

wonderful new friend.

And Brooklyn may come with a wonderful new family to move into this apartment

after he kicks you out.

Hey, Walona, if we don't do it and we don't pay the rent, we get kicked out.

we do do it and we get caught, we still get kicked out. I say, folks, let's take

a shot at it.

Well, JJ, all right. I guess I get the message.

Well, I guess we have to do it. But I know one thing. This boy better eat what

we eat because I am not cooking him anything special.

Dama, he's just going to get food poisoning like the rest of us.

the couches come on penny straighten yourself up here well the rental king

will handle everything come on penny i can't bear to watch this come on

well well well you have a room for rent for you lovely lady we have a palace

i can't bear to watch it either come on baby it's a rubble

would you like to move in, lovely lady? Now, hold on, mister. Now, let me check

your place out.

Oh, go right ahead.

If there's anything you don't like, we'll gladly redecate.

Um, copy down your ad.

Where's the crystal chandelier?

Crystal chandelier?

That must be the et cetera.

Uh, crystal chandelier? Uh, we sent the crystals out to be recrystallized.

No chandelier.

Uh, your ad says...

Um, I don't see a cooling unit.

Well, yeah, see, uh, we don't have your normal bodacious big machinery around

here.

But what we do have, as you can see right here, is our own private air

That's right.

See, we have 17 floors of natural ventilation.

If we feel around here...

Nature's way is the best way.

No air conditioning.

And I don't suppose you have the microwave oven, the enclosed terrace, or

sauna either.

I just can't depend on them delivery men.

Good day, mister. Oh, wait a minute, lovely lady. If the room rent's too

perhaps we could lower it. Oh, J .D., stop. Oh, hold on. If it's finances that

are giving you a problem, I'll loan you the money personally. Look, let me out

of here. I've had enough of your foolishness.

I guess the rental king got dethroned, huh?

Yeah, and you were right about one thing, J .J.

Bookman will not recognize this place from that notice you put up there.

Crystal chandeliers. Huh.

Indeed.

Good thing she didn't ask about the swimming pool.

I'll get this. Oh, no, you won't. And this time, I'll get it, and you try to

control yourself.

Hello. Hi. Oh, we're the Dunbars.

We came to see about the room for rent.

It's for our dad.

Oh, yeah, come on in.

Oh, it looks very nice, John.

There's no chandelier.

Yeah, some dumb kid printed it in the ad.

Well, he couldn't have been too dumb.

He spelled it right.

Oh, thank you very much.

Could I see the room? Oh, sure, right here. Can you see the room right this

my lovely lady?

Dad has to move from his present apartment.

And my wife and I, well... Our place is kind of small, and he'd have to sleep on

the couch. You know how it is. Yeah, I know how it is.

Dad's never had a sick day in his life, and he's very easy to get along with.

Terrific sense of humor.

I think Dad will like it very much, John. Oh, great.

We'll take it. Good. That's a month's room and board in advance.

All right, then.

Uh, J .D., do they have any references?

Yes, they do, Thelma, Grant, Jackson, and...

Hey, how about right now? He's right outside in the hallway.

All right. This is a little quick.

You know, we didn't have time to even clean up the room or anything.

That's right. I didn't even get a chance to take a dip in the pool.

Dad, these are the people you'll be staying with.

This is my father, John Dunbar Sr.

Wow. Welcome to the Evans Hilton.

You okay?

We wouldn't let you stay here otherwise.

Well, I sure hope you know what you're doing.

I'm Thelma Evans, my brother JJ.

Damn it, Brother Michael.

Well, Dad, we got to be going.

But we're leaving you in good hands.

That's right.

You're in good hands with the Evanses.

Yeah, you're amongst friends around here.

Sure. That's what they said to Julius Caesar.

And look what his friends did for him.

Now, look, that kind of stuff may happen in Detroit.

But this here is the Windy City, Chi -town, Chicago, you know? We looks out

each other around here.

Thanks. We'll be back to visit, Dad, in a day or two. Okay. Okay. Bye -bye now.

See you later, Dad.

Okay.

Uh, Thelma, get the bags.

The DA will be relieved, Sergeant. Looks like the perfect safe house to me. No

place is perfect in a case like this.

Remember that witness we hit with that bus driver and his family?

Yeah.

Still can't figure out how that mob tracked him down. Yeah.

Well, I hope old man Dunbar is all in one piece when we come back to get him

the trial.

And that goes for his new family, too.

Looking for cockroaches?

Maybe he's trying to acclimate himself to his new strange surroundings.

Mr.

Dunbar, what are you doing with that chair?

Are you going to go tame a lion?

Look, there's no lock on that door over there.

So I figured if I propped this up under the doorknob, couldn't nobody get in.

Hey, Mr. Dunbar, you don't have to do that. You're amongst friends around

Well, you can never be too careful.

You smoke, sonny?

Oh, no, Mr. Dunbar. What thanks for asking?

Oh, I wasn't going to give you one.

I just didn't want you tampering with my cigar.

Uh -oh, it's Booger.

Oh, my God, save me. I'm way ahead of you.

Mr. Dunbar, make sure you stay back here. Don't make a sound, because we

want anyone to know that you're back here.

You can say that again. We don't want...

to know that you're back here.

Go.

Hey, Bookman, what you doing here? We didn't call for the good year blimp.

Hey,

I came up to tell you guys that we're cutting the hot water off. They're

the boiler tonight.

Again?

That boiler's been fixed more times than the Friday night wrestling.

Hey, who's smoking cigars around here?

I am.

I always like a good cigar after a hard day's work.

And this must be your first cigar in months.

Well, come on, clown. What are you going to do, wave it around or smoke it?

Uh,

uh, it just so happens, uh, I don't have a match.

Well, the bookman do.

Be careful, man.

You're going to have to get a fire extinguisher and put your face out.

That is so funny. I got something funny for you, too. What's that? Put your face

out the door.

Boy, this cigar must be made from dead rats.

All clear, Mr. Dunbar. You can come out. That jive janitor's gone.

That was a janitor?

Are you sure?

Well, we're not proud of it, but we're sure.

Mr. Dunbar.

Why are you so jumpy?

Jumpy? I'm not jumpy.

What'd you do with my cigar?

Now, you smashed up a perfectly good 15 -cent cigar.

Uh, Mr. Dunbar, you've had an exciting day. Why don't you, uh, take a little

walk around the block?

I'm not going out of the house.

Well, maybe not now, but later when you want to go out and stretch yourself. I'm

never going out of the house.

Hey, y 'all, this dude said he ain't never going out of the house.

Well, you know, Mr. Dunbar, people do need fresh air. You could just sit by

window. Uh -huh. I don't sit by no windows.

People can see you when you're sitting there.

Mr. Dunbar, we're 17 flights up.

But they could be very tall.

Mama, I think we done got ourselves a fruitcake.

Yeah, I got to run, you know.

I got to take my daughter to the ice skating lesson.

I'll see you later, Mr. Dunbar. I sure hope so.

Trouble.

Well, I'll go get some rest. Wait up for me, Thumb. I want you to help me out

with my homework.

Hey, wait a minute.

What y 'all doing leaving me alone here with this cuckoo clock?

He's yours.

We sit down here and have a little talk.

I never sit with my back to the door or my head near the window.

Mr. Dunbar, you in some kind of trouble or something?

Well, now, I don't know if I can trust you.

Oh, Mr. Dunbar, you can trust me.

Honest, just look at this face.

Got to be honest.

But you got to promise me something.

You got it.

Promise me you won't throw me out when I tell you.

Okay, uh, you got my word.

Now, you been reading about that big real estate swindle?

You know, where all those people lost their life savings?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Uh, that was, uh, those people got ripped off. That dude, uh, Frazee. Yeah,

was a terrible scene.

Yeah, well, I was Frazee's bookkeeper.

You were?

Then you're the one who could put Frazee in the pokey.

That's right.

That's why the police are hiding me here in your house until the trial comes up.

Well, you'll certainly be safe here.

Sure. Until Frazee finds out where I am, then it lights out.

Let's hope for your sake he doesn't find you.

For your sake, too.

Because if it lights out for me...

It's lights out for us all.

Now what do we do?

I mean, we can't even call the police. They're the ones who put him here.

Hey, Michael, don't talk so loud.

Dumbar hears you. He come running out here like a scared chicken.

Well, JJ, you know Dumbar is right. You can't hit a moving target.

Michael, don't say the word hit.

JJ, why don't you give him a... money back and send him on his way? Oh, Thelma

can't do that. I gave the man my word. I wouldn't kick him out.

Who is that?

Somebody knocking at the door.

At this hour? I mean... I guess head men don't just work from nine to five. Go

ahead, Thelma. See what's happening.

Who is it?

Bookman!

That's the one who'll kick him out. I get Bookman to kick him out, and that

way...

Wait a minute, J .J. Then Bookman will put us out in the cold.

Michael, better be chill than kill.

Hey, man, about the hot water, the cold is going to be turned off tonight, too.

Come on in here, Bookman.

Yeah, come on in here.

That's terrific.

I must be in the wrong apartment. You know that rule you all have about taking

in borders?

Well, we took in a border.

We took in a border.

heartless dude you take me for.

I mean the words all over the street that your bony brother got cut back at

office. I know you need the bread.

You mean you're not going to kick him out? No.

Not until I find out you're working full time again.

And everybody says Bookman likes to kick a man when he's down.

I do.

But J .J.'s down so much that it's boring.

It's the most unreliable horrible janitor in the world.

When you need him to be a rat, he never is.

Oh, hi, Mr. Dunbar. Did you get a nice little nap?

Nap? You mean nightmare.

I dreamed Frazee found me, and he had a knife, a rope, and a gun.

He gonna kill you multiple choice, huh?

That's Frazee.

I'd know his knock anywhere.

Wait a minute. Hold on. What's everybody so scared about?

We're in the confines of our own home. You know what I mean?

You don't have to be worried about no hoodlum coming in here.

I'll handle this. The man of steel.

Yeah, what do you want?

Package for Evans.

Oh, yeah?

There you go. Very simple.

See that?

Pagans forever.

We act as though a hitman's gonna be here any minute.

You get the door, J .J. Yeah, you get the door. You live the longest.

And I just maintain cool.

Y 'all getting upset over nothing.

This is the Fig Newton of your imagination.

I'll tell this guy where it's at.

playing down the street.

I said Dunbar, not Goodbar.

Oh,

hello, Dunbar.

It wasn't easy, but I found you.

Don't shoot!

We just washed the floor!

I have something for you, Dunbar.

$25 ,000.

I want you to go to Mexico and forget about testifying against me.

$25 ,000? Shut up, toothpick. This is between Dunbar and me.

What do you say, Dunbar? How about it, pal?

You know, I don't like the idea of you offering my man Dunbar here a bribe.

is a man of honesty, integrity, bravery, and courage.

Matter of fact, I think I can safely state from my position that rather than

take your dirty money, Dunbar here would rather have you... Shoot him.

Hey, I'll speak for myself.

Go ahead, Dunbar.

Tell me about all those people you're going to get their money back. Tell me

about all those people you're going to give the day in court to.

Go ahead, tell me about all those poor people that did all those things and

you're going to get their money back. Go ahead, Dunbar. Tell him.

You're right, J .J. I shouldn't take that money. That's right. But I am.

Look, I'm sorry, but this is more money than I've ever seen in my life.

Come on, Dunbar, get your things and get out of here.

I'm putting you on the plane to Mexico.

Hope you get down to Mexico just in time for the KO Pet Tape Festival.

JJ, I love you so much for what you did last night. I'm giving you two helpings

of pancakes.

Thelma, if you love me at all, you wouldn't give me any. Oh.

You know, I'm just sorry that Mr. Dunbar got away.

Thelma, he didn't get away.

Matter of fact, when he was leaving, I slipped two of your cookies into his

pocket. So that means that when he got to the airport, they must have arrested

him for concealing a deadly weapon.

Oh, dang it.

Hello.

Oh, hello there, Mr. Gilbreath.

Yeah, nice to hear from your boss.

Huh?

What? You're giving my five days a week back?

Well, you know there, Mr. Gilbreath, I was thinking about quitting that job.

Hello, Mr.

Gilbert. He'll be back. And thank you very much. Okay, bye -bye.

Hey, Thumbel, what'd you do that for? We don't need that job.

All we gotta do is reel in a customer for next month. And then after that, we

can rent some more apartments.

Then after that, we can rent some more. And some more.

And it gets bigger and bigger.

Until one day, your own...

Good time. Good time.

Keeping your head above water.

Making a wave when you can.

Temporary layoffs. Good time.

Good times is videotape in front of a studio audience.

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