Original subtitles

Good times, anytime you need a payment. Good times, anytime you need a break.

Good times, anytime you're up and under.

Not getting hassled, not getting hustled.

Keeping your head up for water.

Making a way when you can.

Temporary layoffs. Good times, easy credit ripoffs. Good times,

scratching and surviving. Good times.

else that comes now.

Hey JJ, what is that stuff?

It's a stomach's perfume.

What smell?

You know what I smell? Something smoky.

Smoky and sweet.

Like somebody's barbecuing an Avon lady.

That's supposed to be a joke.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Something funny's going on around here.

Hey, y 'all, why don't we go down to Lake Michigan and watch the ice crack?

Hold it right there, every one of you.

Something is going on, and ain't nobody leaving this room until I do. get to the

bottom of this.

What happened to the couch?

Well,

see, Wilona, there's nothing.

Matter of fact, I don't even want to bore you with the details.

Honey, bore me with the details. What happened? Well, Wilona, we just had a

little itty -bitsy.

happened and i want to know right now hold it hold it one minute

now we're gonna go one at a time you first what happened well alana you're

coming to the right person because i'm gonna tell you exactly what happened

you know after you dropped penny off jj came over with this fine girl her name

is mandy oh she's bad but anyway i thought i was working on my chemistry

experiment right and while i was doing that the four minutes that i was michael

will you play house with me sure penny just as soon as i'm finished with this

chemistry experiment

Sure. Hey, Michael, would you come taste this soup for me, please?

Excuse me, Penny.

Thelma, dear, nothing would give me more pleasure than to taste your delightful

soup.

is just too kind.

But Mandy, I am your humble servant.

Why don't you say we leave the Ebony Einstein over here by herself and me and

you go genius on the couch.

Just for a minute.

I mean, I find your brother so compelling.

But Mandy, see, I'm a...

a one to ten, you a minus two.

Is that Fahrenheit or Celsius?

Oh, allow me.

Michael, would you flick my beck?

Mandy, not only will I flick your beck, but my heels.

Constitution is ready to adjust to your unique style of cooking.

Oh, she can't anyway. She has to go home and change, because see, me and Mandy

are going dancing tonight. Dancing? Well, if Michael will be here, I might

here.

I'm going to wash up.

He's so understanding.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Reggie.

Did your sister use the recipe I gave her?

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

This month he's taking from me.

Hey, Michael.

Yeah,

Michael. Every time I bring a girl home, she winds up wanting to be with you. I

just wanted to know one thing.

What's your secret?

That really started it. Michael, that is not true.

That couldn't have started the fire because I never put the plate in the

So the plate was cold.

It was?

I didn't know that, Thelma.

I guess I was wrong.

And that wasn't the only thing you were wrong about.

Mandy wanting to go out with you.

You must have been sniffing too much couch, brother.

You're making my usual, magnificent, fantastic dinner, right? And Michael is

coming here.

Michael, will you play house with me? Not right now, Penny. I'm busy. Can't

see? Well, excuse...

is responsible for this magnificent physique, my sister, Thelma.

Nice to meet you, Mandy.

Ooh, girl, what is that delicious smell coming from the kitchen? Looks like a

magnificent casserole to me.

Well, it's nothing much. You know, nothing much. It's just a little

threw together with my, um, secret ingredient.

Well, you can tell me.

What's your secret ingredient?

Um...

by herself and me and you kind of grease on over to the couch well

well just for a minute i mean your sister's so interesting yeah but see

uh mandy i'm uh interesting too on a scale

of one to ten use a zero

Yeah, because, you see, me and Mandy are going dancing tonight. And she's got to

go home and change.

Yeah, I forgot.

This is the last time I answer a Lonely Hearts ad in the newspaper.

I wish I was as popular as my sister Thelma.

Don't be silly, J .J.

What would you do with all those hands?

couch that started that fire oh yeah platypus face

well then

how do you explain this cold match in the ashtray oh

there's a match in the ashtray oh i'm sorry guess that was wrong i

still want to know how the fire got started

but the truth. The gospel according to Brother Jay.

All right, well, here's the truth. Now, me being a designated breadwinner in the

family, the number one in the church, a general man about town.

Uh, J .J., could you get on with it?

You know? Okay.

See, I came home with this fine feathered fox, and everybody... is

because they didn't think I could pull her in the first place.

Gang, I'm home.

Everyone, I want y 'all to meet my adorable woman, Mandy.

And adorable woman Mandy, this is everyone.

And over there is my sister Thelma, the wicked witch of the kitsch.

house man can you help me out with this chemistry experiment uh sure michael

whether it be chemistry or biology uh just call on dr jj

phd

little sideline hobby of mine.

And, uh, please, Mama, no teeth there.

JJ, would you come and test my soup and see if it needs anything?

Oh, the sacrifices one must make for one's family.

She doesn't have any blue cross.

Besides, Manny has to go home and change.

We're going dancing tonight.

First time.

Would you rock it to...

That's what set the couch on fire.

I rest my case.

No, you won't. It's overruled, J .J. Now, that alcohol burner hasn't been any

closer to the couch than it is right now.

Hey, wait a minute.

Maybe it was Mandy.

Yeah, you know, she was smoking a cigarette. She sure was. That girl was

back, boy. She was like a snake.

Hold it.

Hold it.

Mama, I didn't tell my story. Aw, pity. That's okay.

Isn't that sweet? She wants to tell a little story, too.

No wild stories, because I've had enough of the wild stories for the evening,

okay?

It's the truth.

I promise.

Okay. Well, after you dropped me off, I was playing with my doll, and Michael

was experimenting.

Michael, will you play house with me? In a little while, Penny. Right now, I'm

busy with this chemistry experiment.

Your water turned green. I know.

It's supposed to turn red.

Well,

back to the drawing board.

Do you want to play house with me?

Well, I'd love to, Penny, but I have to finish making this soup.

Would you like to taste it?

No, thanks.

I have a perfect attendance record at school, and I don't want to spoil it.

Thank you.

And, uh, my old ugly sister over there, Thelma.

And our little neighbor, Penny.

JJ, will you play house with me?

Uh, play house with you? Penny, you see, you're just a little itty -bitty type.

Mandy over here is a big girl. I'd rather play house with her.

Why don't you say we go over here and sit down on the couch, my dear?

Okay, for a minute. I do need a cigarette.

Well, allow me.

scale of 1 to 10, you are a 250?

Constantly, J .J.

Mandy, would you like to stay for dinner?

Oh, no, thank you, Thelma. I've got to go home and change.

J .J. and I are going dancing tonight, believe it or not.

Yeah, so, uh...

dinner okay sure thoma call me when it's over

JJ, did you ever tell me I was a 250?

Constantly.

Okay, I'll talk to y 'all later, man.

Behave yourself.

All right, Penny, I'm back. I'm ready to play house.

JJ, do you like Mandy better than me?

I'm not going dancing with her. I just broke our date.

I hate women that smoke.

Now you tell me.

Hey, Penny, what's wrong?

You look sort of humdrum.

Hey, between me and you, did you have any thermos soup?

I'm a soup on it.

Oh, Penny.

What you're really saying is that you started the fire.

I'm sorry, Mama.

Those stupid cigarettes.

They'll kill you one way or they'll kill you another.

Penny, do you know how serious this could have been?

The whole building could have burned down. Everybody could have been burned

death. Do you realize that?

Yeah. Have you learned a lesson, honey?

Oh, I did. I promise I won't do it again.

Penny, why would you want to do something silly like smoking a cigarette

I wanted to be like Mandy.

I thought JJ would like me better.

Penny, I do like you when you're not burning up our furniture.

I just wanted to be glamorous.

Penny, smoking isn't glamorous. Look at me. I don't smoke.

Thelma, don't confuse the child.

I'm sorry, everybody.

That's all right, baby.

I'll take care of it.

That's all right, Wilona. We need a new couch anyway.

One good thing did come out of all this, though. What?

We got a chance to get rid of Thelma's suit.

Just looking out of the window, watching the asphalt road,

thinking how it all looks and it dies. Good times, good times,

keeping your head above water, making a wave when you can.

of a studio audience.

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