Original subtitles

Good time, anytime you need a payment. Good time, anytime you feel free.

Good time, anytime you're up and under.

Not getting hassled, not getting hustled.

Keeping your head up above water.

Making a way when you can.

Temporary layoffs. Good time, easy credit to rip off.

Good time, scratching and surviving. Good time.

Well, Thoma, I was gonna get her a Betsy Wexy doll. When I got up to the

counter, I didn't have the guts to ask for it.

Michael, what did you end up getting, Penny?

A dump truck.

Michael, come on now.

No, Thoma, I'm just kidding. I got her the doll, see?

Betsy Wexy.

Who is it?

It's me.

Oh. Oh, well, hi, Alyssa. I want to see your presents, okay? Yeah.

Um, oh, here you go. Michael!

Just Mom and I going Christmas shopping. Oh.

Looking for something?

Uh, I might have lost something when I was over here yesterday.

Oh, yeah? What'd you lose?

I'm not sure until I find it.

Uh, Penny, you wouldn't be snooping around trying to see your presents,

you? Who, me?

Yeah. Don't be silly.

Oh, I dropped my...

It won't do any good. You'll just have to wait till Christmas Eve.

I'll try, but it won't be easy.

off the street, you would have been arrested for indecent exposure.

Michael, this tree was in great shape before I got it on the bus. Got it in

of those tree fights over there.

Well, J .J., you should have brought home the winner.

Michael, this is the winner.

Well, maybe some decorations will help. Hey, I got an idea.

Hey, listen, everybody.

What do you think Mama needs for Christmas?

Hmm. What about the new album by Donna Summers?

You think she would like that?

No, but I sure would.

Hey, I just baked some cookies and I have some left over and I... No, I

we were going to get the tree a hernia.

I sure did.

Wow. Well, lay some of that cash on me. I'm busted.

Will you keep your paws off her money?

Hi, y 'all. Hi, Alana.

Okay, are you ready to go shopping, baby?

Yes, Mama.

Okay. But promise me you won't peek while I do my shopping. Child, I am too

to peek.

The Christmas rush at the boutique has been simply out of hand. Out of mind.

Honey, listen. Laser pushing and shoving and screaming and kicking and yelling

and pulling hair. And that's just in the restroom.

Excuse me, honey.

What is this?

Well, Lona, that is our Christmas tree.

I've seen mop panels with more leaves on it than that.

I stickle in her drawers.

How'd she find out? Oh, bugger!

Was there anything else I can do for you warm folks in this generous, warm

season? Uh -oh, J .J., Bookman's being nice. He must expect something.

Yeah, Bookman's expecting a green Christmas.

I'm appalled.

I mean, the thought of a Christmas bonus never entered my mind.

Oh, I'm glad, honey, because it never entered our minds either.

Hey, the word's out on the street that you guys are giving a Christmas Eve

party. That's right, Bookman.

That is spending it alone.

You see, Penny, Mrs. Bookman's going to spend Christmas with her mother. See, my

mother -in -law and I don't get along at all.

She's never forgiven me for stealing her only daughter, and I've never forgiven

her for letting me steal her.

It sounds like I'm listening to a soap opera as the booger turns.

Goodie, goodie. Come on, darling.

Okay. Oh, Mr. Bookman? Yes, Penny?

After we're gone, could you bring up the you -know -what from the you -know

-where for the you -know -who?

Thanks a lot, Scrooge.

Okay,

we can start over here.

But, Mommy, you promised to let me shop by myself.

Okay, baby.

Now, listen. We'll both do our shopping and eat back here in one hour. And if

you miss me, get a cab and come on home, okay? Here's your carpet.

Penny. Yes, Mama? I love you.

This is the happiest Christmas ever.

Me, too.

Oh, look.

Oh, look, baby. There's Santa Claus.

Hi, Santa.

My name is Penny.

Hello, Penny.

And my name is Linda.

And I got some reindeer named Donner and Bitson and Bendad.

I wish you joy and I wish you cheer.

Have a cool you and a mellow new year.

Would you like some gifts to hang in your stocking?

I take Master Charge and validate parking.

Oh, Lenny, why don't you go climb a chimney?

Look, it's been a long day.

Did you want to see something?

Yes. What?

About $10 .50 worth for the best mama in the whole world.

$10 .50 worth.

What's her size?

About this high and this wide and about this far.

I'm sorry I asked.

Oh, wait a minute.

This little heart in the tank, can I see that?

Oh, this is our last... one.

It's beautiful.

How much is it? You're in luck. Ten dollars.

She'll love it. I'll take it. Okay.

Oh, excuse me.

That'll be ten dollars and fifty cents.

You want a gift wrap? No, I'll do it myself.

Okay.

Well, maybe somebody did take it. You know, at Christmas time, the pickpockets

come out of the woodwork.

Oh, my money was in there. What am I going to do?

I'm sorry, honey.

Really, I am.

You got that bike together yet?

All together, Michael. All together.

Yes, sir.

Hey,

J .J., look at that bike.

Michael, what's wrong with it?

What's wrong with it? Are you sure you didn't get it from the same place you

that tree?

Come on, put this bike away. Hurry up.

And fix the seat right here.

Oh, sure.

How are your corns?

You don't ask people about their corns.

Oh, that's all right.

Actually, they're much better.

Now they only hurt when I walk.

Um, you're here to see Wilona and Penny, right?

Yes. The probationary period is nearly up, and now the department is

the final adoption.

Oh, Wilona is a great mother.

So you can make the adoption final right now.

Well, I do have to make out my report, K .K.

Uh,

that's J .J.

Well, it's only one letter away.

Oh, I certainly hope that Miss Woods gets home early. I have a meeting

Corn sufferers anonymous.

Earth Anonymous.

Yes, it's a club I belong to, and if any member gets a corn attack, they call

other members, and then they all come over, and we try on each other's shoes

until the pain goes away.

Well, I'll make you some coffee, okay? Thank you.

Hi.

Oh, Miss Dawes, what are you doing here?

Well, I just... thought it was time to make an honest woman of you, Ms. Woods.

Oh, well, not that you're not honest.

I mean, it's time to make Penny legitimate.

Not that she's not legitimate.

I mean, it's final adoption time.

Final adoption time! Out of sight!

Where's Penny?

Well, Anna, we thought she was with you.

Well, she was, but I told her we got mixed up in the department store to come

home. She should be here by now.

Oh, that's probably hard now. Let me get on over there as soon as I can.

I was waiting for you.

Sorry I couldn't meet you.

Oh, hi, Mr. Duff. Hello, sweetheart.

Can I help you? Are you the little girl's mother? Yes, I am.

Well, I'm sorry to tell you this, but this young lady's been picked up for

shoplifting.

I won't do it again, Mama. I promise.

I just wanted to get you that present more than anything.

Oh, Penny.

There'll be no more excuses.

You did a very wrong thing. It's a good thing the department store left it in my

hand. I'm sorry.

Go home and wait for me. I have a lot of talking to do to you when I get there.

I'm just glad I don't have to spend Christmas in the slammer.

Kids, I want to talk to Miss Dobbs alone. Do you mind? Oh, of course not,

We've got to put Penny's bike together anyway.

Forget about the bike for now. She's not getting it for Christmas.

What? I've got to learn how to read all those instructions in Japanese?

JJ, it's important I talk to Miss Dobbs. All right, all right.

Siren hour.

Miss Dobbs, I hope you don't think I'm being too rough on her, but she has to

punished. Well, I'm afraid the problem is more serious than that.

What do you mean?

The child is stealing.

But I'm punishing her for it. I told you I was punishing her for it. Well,

that's good. That's very good.

Parental discipline is very important.

Miss Woods, may I call you Wilona?

I feel that with my dropping in here twice a month, we've become very good

friends. Yeah, call me Wilona.

Wilona, I feel that this is the wrong environment for Penny.

Miss Dobbs, how can you pop in here twice a month and tell me you think this

the wrong environment for Penny? There is nothing wrong with this environment.

Well, maybe things have gotten a little bit out of control.

Things have gotten out of control!

I'm sorry.

It's the first time anything has ever happened. Penny has never stolen before.

She won't do it again. I promise you that. Well, I'm sorry too, Walona, but

got my instructions.

I'm afraid this puts a different light on the adoption.

Miss Dobbs, please don't say that.

Well, I'm afraid that the department will want to investigate further before

can recommend final adoption.

Miss Dobbs, look, why don't you do this? Why don't you come to our Christmas Eve

party? Then you can see for yourself what a warm and loving environment this

really is, okay?

Well, maybe I could do that. Oh, thanks. Hey, by the way, what is your first

name?

Hortense.

But don't tell anybody.

Not even my husband.

You mean your husband doesn't even know your first name? I told him it was

Carlotta.

Our marriage needs all the romance it can get.

Well... Merry Christmas.

Yeah.

Merry Christmas.

Could I have another cup of that delicious eggnog? All right, sure, Miss

Here you go.

Fresh one. Hey, you better watch out. Don't let that eggnog sneak up on you.

Sneak up? I think it's passing me.

Would you believe that my mother wanted me to be a ballerina?

You know, in our school play...

I was the only sugar plum fairy wearing Dr.

Scholl's.

Well, peace on earth, goodwill toward feet.

Well, looks like Mrs. Dobbins is having a lot of fun. What does it matter?

Tomorrow when her head clears up, she'll remember about the adoption.

I might even lose Penny.

that much time. I gotta get back to the North Pole. My elves are waiting for me.

Grumpy, Sneezy, and Leroy.

Those are dwarves.

Dwarves, elves, whatever. All I know is they keep biting me on the knee.

Ho, ho, ho.

Ho, ho, ho.

What a great looking tree you got here.

Woo, hoo, hoo. I couldn't have picked out a better tree myself.

It's an honor leaving presents under this tree. Ho, ho, ho.

You're a lucky little girl to have Santa Claus come to your party. It's really

JJ's. Oh.

Ho, ho, ho!

Merry Christmas, Vinnie!

Merry Christmas, Santa. I came all the way from the North Pole and I'm hungry.

Do you have any food for me and my reindeer?

Do your reindeers eat clam dip?

No.

Santa came to your party after all. It's really Mr.

Buffalo Bats. Oh.

Is there no enchantment left in children?

Hey, Santa, can I ask you a favor?

Yeah, sure. What is it? You know, when I was a little kid, my mother never took

me to see Santa Claus. And I've always had this secret longing.

Can I sit in your lap?

And me end up with a fractured lap?

Miss Dobbs, I talk to you now.

Merry Christmas.

Fill her up.

Unleaded.

This is the most delicious eggnog.

Eggnog. Eggnog.

One hell of a drink you're serving here.

Well, I'm glad you like it there, Miss Dobbs.

Oh, call me Carla.

having such a wonderful time.

I feel like singing.

Well, go ahead. Be my guest.

I am your guest.

Unless I'm at the wrong party.

Attention, everyone.

Carlotto would like to sing a little song here.

Do you have a piano?

No, we sent ours out to be dry clean.

Well, I'll just have to sing Acapulco.

On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me a partridge in a pear

tree.

On the second day of Christmas, my true love sent to me two turtlenecks and

a partridge in a pear tree.

On the twelfth day...

Wait a minute.

I would never eat a turtle.

Come on, let's have a little private talk. A little talk? What about?

About Penny.

Oh, what about Penny?

You've seen her environment, right? It's full of love and fun and good vibes.

Are you going to let me keep her?

Well, I don't know.

One Christmas party does not an adoption make.

I see.

Tell me something, Miss Dobbs.

Do the people down at the family and children's services know that you can

really...

Oh, good heavens, no.

Oh, no, that department is so, oh, how can I say it? Conservative?

No, stuffy.

They frown on any kind of frivolity.

Oh, do they?

What would you say if I told you I had a tape recorder going?

A tape recorder? The tape thing?

Yes.

Oh, you wouldn't.

Oh, yes, I would. Every supervisor in your department.

Shall I play it back for you now so you can see what it's going to sound like to

them?

Too turtled up, my love, too turtled up.

Since I couldn't get you a Christmas present, well, I made you something.

What?

Oh, thank you.

It's the same as the one I was going to buy you, only it's made out of paper.

Oh, Penny, it's priceless.

Just what I wanted, baby.

Chance, can I talk to you a minute?

Look, I got something I got to tell you.

There's no tape recorder.

I couldn't have played anything for the department.

And even if I could, I couldn't stoop to anything that underhanded. It's not my

style. Oh, I see.

Well, Walona, there's something that I want to tell you, too.

After being here tonight and seeing all the fun and the love and the good vibes,

well, I've already made up my mind to recommend the final adoption.

What can I do to thank you?

You can get off my corn.

Merry Christmas, everybody!

Good times is videotaped in front of a studio audience.