Original subtitles

Good times, any time you need a payment, good times, any time you feel free,

good times, any time you're up and under, not getting hassled, not getting

hustled, keeping your head above water,

making a way when you can, temporary layoffs, good times.

finish that homework, Michael.

You promised we could play go fish.

Later, Penny.

I'm still doing my science.

Well, tell me what your lesson is and maybe I can help you. I don't think so.

We're studying the feasibility of inserting geodesic domes into space for

purpose of human colonization.

Now, did you understand that?

Every word.

It's just a part about geodesics and the gnomes. Oh, well, it just means that in

a few years from now, they're going to put 100 ,000 people into space to live.

They'll stay there for a couple of years.

Won't they have to come back down to use the bathroom?

No, they're going to go up there.

They will?

Hi, y 'all. Hi, Belona.

All

I

can say is T -G -I -F.

What does Ticketh mean?

That means, thank God it's Friday.

B -O -E -T -S day.

Oh, what's Poets Day?

Pull on everything to Mars.

What you do today? Are you a good girl? Yep. What you do? I've been helping

Michael with his science.

Well, Lona, if we all go up to live in space someday, could we live in the same

ghetto as the heavens?

Oh, honey.

If that day is ever possible, I hope there is no more ghettos to deal with.

Speaking of skeezic gnomes, look who just walked in.

Mr. Miguel, scoff if you will, but your older, smarter brother, the gumshoe of

the ghetto, has successfully been stalking the dude that Thelma's been

mysteriously dating.

You found out about Lloyd?

No, he gave me the slip for the third day in a row.

this Lloyd?

Honey, I don't know that much about him except Thelma never brings him around.

Maybe she doesn't want us to see his handicap.

Handicap? JJ, we haven't even met him yet, so how do you know he has a

Michael, any dude going out with Thelma can't be playing with a full deck.

You know what is so strange about this Lloyd?

He never sees Thelma at night, he just sees her at lunchtime.

Hmm, you know that is strange, Walona.

How could Thelma fall in love over a hamburger?

of that great poet Rodney Allen Rippey, happiness is a warm bun.

All the pickles, all the lettuce. Get the dishes at the table.

I'll start this one. I don't get it. Why are you following the Lord all over

town? Easy, Penny.

There's something strange about a dude we never see at night.

I don't like him dating my sister.

The only thing I know about this cat is that he works in a toy company.

A toy company?

Then it can't be that bad.

Dude's probably getting secrets to the Russians of Frisbee.

Worse than that, honey, he could be married.

Married? And dating my sister?

Boy, I...

piece of pie.

Huh? Oh, I'll explain to you when you get older, baby.

Oh.

It's another one of those.

Yeah, it's another one of those.

Bye, everybody.

Good.

All right, y 'all.

Where you been?

Oh, I was out shopping for a present for Lloyd.

You know, Thelma, you've been seeing a lot of this Lloyd dude lately.

What's going on between y 'all two? Hey, come on now. He's just a very nice guy.

Thelma be such a nice guy, why don't you invite him over to one of your special

home -cooked meals so we can all get to meet him? Yeah.

And if he's really a friend, you'll tell him to have dinner before he gets here.

Well, Lola, like I said, he can't come over at night because he works nights.

Yeah, I've heard that line before.

And where have you heard that line before?

From me. I use it all the time.

Lola, honey, what kind of work does Lola do at night?

Well, it's a top -secret job, and he really can't talk about it.

Maybe he is a spy.

There go the Frisbees.

Velma, honey, listen.

We'd really like to meet Lloyd. Why don't you bring him over?

Unless, of course, you're ashamed of us.

Oh, come on, Walona.

I'm proud of everybody in this room.

That's right.

Almost everybody.

Funny remarks going on around here.

All right, I get it.

Because I don't see Lloyd at night, you think that he's married, huh? Oh!

Are you kidding?

Oh, honey, that thought never entered our minds.

Yes, it did. Well, all I said... What did you say, Delana?

Well, honey, I said he sounds married.

Now, come on over here.

All right, give you a little test.

You see, there are five signs to a married man.

Okay, number one.

Does he take you out at night?

No. Okay, number two.

Does he want to meet your friends?

Well, no, he never said he didn't want to meet... Three.

Did he ever take you to his place?

No. Number four.

Did he give you his home phone number?

Well, no, he doesn't have a phone. Five.

Oh, why not five?

Does he ever ask for a second piece of pie?

I know you just help yourself to a thief.

All right, five.

Is he extra specially nice to you?

Oh, yes, Salona. He opens up doors for me and he pulls back chairs and he never

stops paying me compliments.

Uh -huh. That sucker is married for sure.

Yeah, because you see, married men are like Avis. They have to try harder.

I tell you, he is not married.

And besides, I'm a big girl now and I can take care of my own affair.

I mean relationships.

Wait a minute.

I'm having lunch with Lloyd tomorrow.

So I'll just ask him to come to dinner, okay?

And he'll come.

He'll see you come.

Velma.

Hey, love.

You hardly touch your salad.

Hey, come on, baby.

Now, if there's something on your mind, tell me.

You know, we only get to spend this time together.

You

know,

we have a meet at lunchtime.

And all I know about you is that you like your hamburgers.

Medium rare.

With no male.

Well, a woman should know how her man likes his lunch.

Yeah, and a woman should also know where her man spends his night.

Thelma.

Hey. Hey, did I ever tell you how much I love your eyes?

Yeah,

you told me that. I do.

But I want to ask you something. What? A little something.

What little something, my lady?

Are you married?

Married? Who would ever put an idea like that into your head?

I know it sounded silly and everything, but you know our neighbor, Bologna? Oh,

yeah. She has this test.

The five sure signs of a married man.

And I pass.

With honor.

I believe you.

Hey, why don't you come over for dinner tonight?

Please.

Thelma, your happiness means everything to me.

And if it'll make you happy, then I'll try and come to dinner tonight, okay?

Oh, boy, thank you.

yet, Mr. Bogart?

Oh, no, come on, come on. I don't have all day, you know.

Then, uh, just bring me a cup of coffee, sweetheart.

Ah, Mr. Big Spender, huh?

Look, it says here, $1 .25 minimum per person.

Then, uh, bring me five cups of coffee.

Sorry, I need a food order.

I can't let you sit here without an order.

Now I want an order, you hear?

All right, you want an order?

Leave me alone.

Here you go, lover. Thank you. Mm -hmm.

Hey, where you going, Mr. Big Spender?

Uh, I'm in a hurry. Could you give me the check? You trying to stiff me or

something? Oh, no, my dear. Could you just write out the check? Okay, hold on

your shirt, Diamond Jim.

Can we hurry up there? Here you go, sport. That's a dollar.

$1 .32.

You think you can handle it?

Here you go.

$1 .35.

Thank you. Keep the change.

Taxi!

Three cents.

And I didn't think he would be a big tipper.

Well, Lorna, are you sure Lloyd is coming to dinner tonight?

Well, Thelma said he was, and he's better after all this work I have done.

Ooh, la, la.

The medallions of the beef.

With the fresh spring carrots and the small pearl onions and the whole baby

potatoes.

It is a meal fit for a king.

Whoa, Wilona, you know that really sounds fancy. What do you call it? Stew.

Oh, don't tell me.

Don't tell me. You lost him again.

Not this time, Wilona. This time I had the knack of Kojak and I was better than

Beretta.

Well, I got good news for y 'all.

At the end of a working day, Lloyd Williams does not go home to a wife.

goodness. But I did find out where he does go home to. Where?

The slammer.

Lloyd's in jail.

In jail?

J .J., is this another one of your jokes?

No, Lona. The man's in prison.

Hold on. You mean he's a guard?

No, Michael, he's wearing stripes.

And he's not a zebra.

I can't believe it. Lloyd in prison?

That's impossible, J .J. Now, if the man is in jail, how is he meeting Thelma?

Maybe he breaks out for lunch.

He doesn't have to. They let him out.

Just to see film.

That's part of his punishment.

The man's in a halfway house.

A halfway house?

Yeah, well, and I know what that is. It's a place halfway between being free

being in prison. They send a guy there whose sentence is almost up. That way he

can work in the daytime.

Oh, then he can adjust to the outside world.

Dating thumb isn't an adjustment. That's shock treatment.

You know, I wonder what he was in for.

Maybe he was a murderer.

Oh, wait a minute now.

Do they put murderers in the halfway house?

Uh -uh.

Most of the time, they put them back on the street.

If he's in the halfway house, he must be in there for a white -collar offense.

Hmm, like strangling a priest.

Well, if y 'all finish playing What's My Crime, I'll tell y 'all what Lloyd's in

for. You mean you found out, J .J.? What is it?

Well, y 'all...

What I found out is that Lloyd was married before.

J .J., they can't put you in jail for that.

To two women.

J .J., they can't put you in jail for that either.

At the same time?

Not that they can put you in jail for.

Good Lord.

Someone's going out with a bigamist.

Uh -oh.

If you keep talking about things you don't want me to hear, I'll be the

kid in class.

Oh,

Gramps, do me a favor. Yeah? Keep Penny company for a little while. Oh, sure,

Wilona. Hey, Wilona, are you going to tell Thelma? Honey, I don't know. You

know, it's so strange. The woman is always the last one to know.

No, she isn't.

I am.

Come on.

J .J., maybe we'll be lucky and Lloyd won't show up after all.

Yeah, maybe he won't be able to give the bloodhounds a slip.

J .J., how are we going to tell Thelma she's involved with a bigamist?

I mean, how are we going to tell her that?

Well, it's simple, Wilona.

We'll get them the towels for their wedding. We'll just have monogrammed on

there, his, hers, and hers.

J .J., I'm worried about Thelma.

Yeah, so am I, Wilona.

I guess we're just going to have to tell her. J .J., you don't understand.

Thelma's in love.

And when a woman's in love, everything is different.

Take it from me, honey.

If you tell her the truth about Lloyd now...

You'll break a heart.

Hi, everybody.

I'd like you to meet Lloyd.

Oh, hello, Lloyd. How are you? I heard a lot about you. Well, hello. I've heard

a lot about you, too. But now that I see you, I can see that Thelma's praise was

much too modest.

And the licorice stick with the ears.

So,

this is J .J., huh?

Well, I've heard that you're quite a dude with the ladies, huh, man?

Yeah, I thought I was, but I guess I'm nothing compared to some other people I

know.

Well, let me take your coat and sit down. Everybody sit down. I'll check on

dinner. Hey, where are Michael and Penny? Well, Penny was sentenced to do

homework, and Michael is guarding her.

Michael, that's your other brother, right?

Well, I understand he's going to become a lawyer?

Yeah, he's going to work for the legal reform.

Well, we sure could use it.

Yeah, some of us need it more than others.

Lawyer, would you care for a chicken wing?

Why, thank you very much.

If I had the wings of a chicken...

JJ, what are you doing? Oh, Thelma, honey, come on, you know... JJ, he's

always saying weird things.

Sometimes I could just lock him up and throw him in a cell and throw away the

keys.

Well, uh, Malona, I think I'll go put the bread and water, I mean,

bread and butter on the table.

I could tell something weird is going on around here, but I don't know what's

happening, and I apologize for it, Lord. You don't have to apologize, Thelma.

You may not know what's going on around here, but he does.

I do?

I do.

Doesn't that sound a little familiar, Lord?

I do, I do.

Listen, Mr. Two -timer, you better go on and hurry up and tell Thelma, otherwise

I will.

Come here, baby.

See, Thelma, there is something that I should have told you from the start.

I, uh, well, I'm doing time.

What? Well, there is no mysterious, you know, government night job and all that.

Have to take a bus after I leave the job at the toy store and go to a halfway

house.

Oh, my God.

I had to get special permission just to come here tonight.

I'm sorry, Prentice.

Well,

I wanted to tell you from the start, but I was afraid that I would lose you.

Okay, Lloyd, that's very nice of you to confess and everything, but you have to

do that on account of me and Malona. I mean, this is between you and Thelma,

know? Tell her the rest.

Uh, I don't want to hear any more, okay?

I don't want to hear any more of this. I think, uh, you'll want to hear this.

Tell her, Lloyd.

Uh, Malona, it really doesn't matter, you know what I mean?

Uh, I think Lloyd's got one or two more things to tell you.

You heard the lady.

She's not interested.

Thelma, honey, I know this is hurting you a little bit, but it's best you know

the whole truth now so you can end it. End it?

Who said anything about ending it? Thelma, you've been lying till you ever

it. Lying?

Come on, he lied to me because he loves me.

And whatever else he's done, he's paying for it right now.

Come on, we're going to give the man a chance.

Hey, Thelma, baby, you don't know what it means for me to hear you say that.

Ask him what he was in jail for.

Look, I don't care.

I mean, Rolanda, we were brought up to forgive and forget.

To love a person for what he is, not for what he was, but what we want him to

be.

Lloyd, I mean, it doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter to me what you

okay?

Because I have faith in you.

Oh, Thelma, baby.

You're one hell of a lady.

I love you.

Well, if you love her, why don't you tell her the truth?

All right.

All right.

I will.

Oh, come on. Stop it now. Stop it.

I don't want to hear it. I don't need to hear it. Selma.

Unless... Unless the Lord really wants to tell me.

Selma.

You see, uh... I was, uh...

Convicted for embezzlement.

Ow!

I took some money. I took some money that didn't belong to me legally, you

Brother, that ain't all you talk that wasn't legally yours, you know?

Are you satisfied now or want to tell me the truth? Now get off my case!

Come on, Malona. I got to tell her now. No, JJ, you can't. She'll hate you for

it. I'm her brother, Malona. She'll love me forever.

Lloyd and I have decided to eat out.

Yeah, well, good night.

Can't say it wasn't a pleasure.

Thelma, Lloyd's a bigamist.

That's right.

He's married to two women at the same time.

And if you marry him, that'll make him a trigamist.

He's just trying to save you.

Lord is not what you said.

For one thing, I know he loves me.

I know that.

And he is not what you said he is. Now you take that back.

I wish I could, Thelma, but I can't.

Baby, it's true.

I mean, it was true.

But it's not that way anymore.

Now that I've known you, I can be a different person.

Oh, yeah?

A different person? One that lies and says he embezzled money? No, I was

confused. I was mixed up. I didn't know what I was saying. Well, it's something

I just can't believe you. I don't know whether to believe you or not.

Thelma, let me suggest that we go... May I suggest that, uh...

You move your butt on out of here.

That's right. Why you still got a butt to move?

No, that should make you feel a little better.

Yeah? Should have made me feel better, huh?

Why do I feel so bad, huh?

Oh, baby, I've been there. I know what you're feeling.

But you'll be all right. What? Let me see.

Well, I guess I'll be leaving.

JJ?

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to say I hate you.

be such a fool it's all right dumber on rare occasions i've been known to

make a fool out of myself too

Just looking out of the window, watching the asphalt grow,

thinking how it all looks and it dies.

Good times, good times, keeping your head above water, making a

wave when you can, temporary layoffs, good times.

Good times is videotaped in front of a studio audience.