Original subtitles

Good time, anytime you need a payment. Good time, anytime you need a bring.

Good time, anytime you're up and under.

Not getting hassled, not getting hustled.

Keeping your head up for water.

Making a way when you can.

Temporary layoffs. Good time, easy credit ripoffs.

Good time, scratching and surviving. Good time.

The buzz is last buzz. Wait, now, don't kill him.

If there's such a thing as reincarnation, there might be somebody

Thelma, who do we know that can walk upside down on the ceiling?

Hey, what is it? Hey, what's happening, Papa? What's happening?

What's happening? What's happening? Yeah.

Flows like a butterfly, stings like a bee. We comes to see JJ. Where is he?

You got it.

For the record, I would like to state that I have peramulated to the Evans

for the sole express purpose of our monthly confabulation with the eminent

Brother Jake.

Right now, JJ's still at work, but he'll be here in a minute. So, you know, just

cop a squad and relax.

That ain't like Brother Jake to be late for one of our sessions, now. Man, I

split from work.

Customer wait, too.

What do you mean a customer, man? You work at Ferguson's funeral home.

You should have put him in layaway.

Oh, summer, summer.

Girl,

where you been hiding yourself?

You got to be the foxest chick there ever was.

Just say the word and I'm yours forever.

A very slow rusher.

Well, since you rushed, go fix it.

Oh, Thelma, Thelma, baby, wait a minute.

Girl, I can't live without you.

Um, my papa's out now.

Why don't you meet me in the park?

Huh? Ten o 'clock?

You know, near the statue of Jimmy Carter? Oh, all right.

Ten o 'clock in the park.

Near the statue of Jimmy Carter.

Wait a minute, baby. There ain't no statue of Jimmy Carter in the park.

Well, when they put one in, I'll meet you there.

I'll see y 'all later. All right, Michael.

Hey, y 'all, what are we going to do tonight? We got to do something.

Oh, man, I don't know.

What do you want to do?

I don't know, man. What you want to do?

Come on, man. We've been getting together every month for the last 12

we never know what we're going to do.

Why don't we go where some ladies are? Maybe we can get lucky tonight.

Papa, you couldn't get lucky in a girl's seminary.

Did someone say cemetery?

Papa couldn't get lucky there either.

Man, if we had wheels, we could go anywhere.

Oh, now, come on, Breeze. Where are we going to find...

to hers we got followed by 20 cars and had a police escort i got a

car might be talked into selling that piece of junk that piece of junk happens

to be a classic it even has a bucket seat bookman anything you sit in is a

bucket seat

to the nitty and the gritty. How much you want for that car?

$1 ,500.

$1 ,500?

Look here, Bookman, I know I'm making a couple of dollars now, but that's a

little bit out of my league.

I've got $50.

$50? Man, I can match 50. Me too, man.

Well, 50 times 4, that's $200, Bookman.

$200? You expect me to accept that measly sum for my little pink and gray

beauty? $200.

Look here, Bookman, $200 is all we can come up with. It's a deal! All right!

What's going on in here?

Mr. Miguel, you're looking at the proud new owners of a 1954 DeSoto.

You want to run that by me again?

Du Bois here just bought my car.

You bought a used car from this man?

I'm gonna keep an eye on Penny after I go downtown.

Uh, well, Lona, how would you like a ride downtown?

Ooh, honey, I'd love it.

How you plan on carrying me, piggyback?

Or do you know somebody with a car? Hey, I do.

Lona, these four turkeys just bought Bookman's old car.

You bought a used car from this man?

Booker, I'm gonna talk to you. Excuse me, honey. You too, J .J. Hey, Popo,

Cooperies, y 'all, let's go downstairs and check out what's under that hood.

You know.

Okay, low life. A deal's a deal, Ms. Woods.

That's right. Me and Bookman shook on that thing, and I'm going to sign the

check out right now. So look out. Let me see.

Check number 274, paid to the order of Nathan Buffalo Butt Bookman.

200 big greenies. There you go.

All right, then.

No, you don't. It's a fair price.

Fair.

J .J., honey, I know you want a car, but think about the responsibility.

Gas, upkeep, repairs.

Malona, we're going to split the expenses four ways.

Four guys own a car, you're looking for trouble?

Malona, we're the awesome foursome. Can't nothing split us up.

You're being taken advantage of, J .J. The junk dealer wouldn't give Bookman no

more than 25 clams.

25 clams?

Mm -hmm.

Hey, Bookman, what do you say if I give you 100 potatoes for that car?

You done already gave me 200 smackaroonies.

I mean, a deal is a deal.

Uh, keys, please.

Well, you're stuck with that car, but there ain't no way I'm gonna let you

that ancient chariot around town without insurance.

Now, either you prove to me that you are a responsible driver, or I will have to

confiscate the car in the name of my best friend, your mama.

Now, wait a minute, Miss Woods. Don't worry. It just so happens my brother -in

-law happens to be an insurance salesman. I'd be glad to take the fellas

personally. I'm sure you would, booger.

JJ. Man, you know you should check that car out. It's a pure lemon.

Well, it's your lemon now. Deal's a deal.

Yeah, J .J. gave him big greenies. But we'll notice that a junk dealer wouldn't

give him clams.

So J .J. got the potatoes.

But it was too late.

Bookman already had the smackaroonies.

you'll be driving a car. I will.

Oh, I didn't realize.

Are any of you under 25?

I am.

All under 25.

That's too bad.

That means your insurance policy will be high.

What kind of car will you be driving? A classic, my man. A classic.

A 1954 pink and gray DeSoto.

makes personal liability, I can give you a ballpark. They give about $1 ,000.

$1 ,000?

And look here, my man, you got a ballpark a little smaller than that?

Look, Harry, I promised the boys you'd do all right by him. That's what you

promised my sister 20 years ago when you married her, and she's still waiting.

I'd like to help you fellas, but one of the reasons you'd be paying so much is

because you live in a ghetto.

Mr. Taylor, you mean that rich people pay less? That's not fair.

Sorry, I don't make the rules.

Yeah, see, he don't make the rules. I don't need your help.

Look here, $1 ,000, that's five times more than we paid for the car.

Oh, no problem. You can pay it off in 12 monthly installments of $83 .34.

Now, you can afford that split four ways.

Yeah, I guess we can handle that, right? Yeah, that's cool.

Well,

then, you're now insured by Lucky Motoring.

The insurance company for those who are not quite good enough to be in good

hands.

Well, if you'll excuse me, I'll go out and draw this up.

Nathan, stay the hell out of my chair.

Jay, lay those keys on me, man.

What for?

I want to show off my wheels.

You can show off the wheels, but I get the car tonight because I got a heavy

date. Dig Jay the keys, please.

Hey, hey, wait a second. You get the car. Says I get the car because I put up

the first $50. You don't like it, you can jump off my chair.

Hold on, man. Hold on here. Take it easy. Hey, take it easy.

I knew something like this was going to come up, so that's how come I made up a

little schedule, see?

So I am the man here with the plan.

Now, here.

Now, there's four of us, right?

Seven days in a week.

which figures out exactly to a day and three quarters each, which is 42 hours.

Well, who gets the car first?

I do. You do?

Yeah, right here on the schedule, see? He's right.

Yeah, yeah, no wonder you get it, because you made it up. I want the car

I got five women. I got five women.

Hey,

hey, hey, man, hold it, hold it, hold it.

My brother -in -law don't like all this noise in his office. You see how testy

he can get?

Yeah, but when I come, you and your brother -in -law don't get along.

Well, way back when we were struggling, Harry and I bought a car together.

And all this car did was get us into fights, man. I mean, the car was one big

jinx. Who ended up with the car?

You did. You just bought it.

Last of three to stay, J .J.

Well, Thelma's cookies are good for something.

They make great poker chips.

They're unbreakable.

Well, Poppo, my man, it's up to you. In or out.

Poppo!

Oh, man, I'm sorry. I can't seem to concentrate.

I'm worried about Breeze. What do you mean you're worried about that car?

what you mean. You're calling me a liar, man. You take that backhand and step

outside. I'm calling you a liar and your little sister a liar.

Leave it yourself.

Oh, man.

Just because Breeze is three hours late and he's cutting into my 42 hours.

There ain't no reason to get excited.

Where is he?

Hey, you guys. I thought we were playing cards. I'm in. I'm in.

I bet mama cookies. All right.

Well, little lady, I think you made a mistake this time.

Two pairs.

Kings and queens.

Beat me.

I'm out. I got two pairs too, JJ.

Yeah?

Fourth.

Four times four is 16.

Well, thanks for the game, guys. I really appreciate it. It was really fun,

know?

Yeah, uh -huh, yeah.

You know, I really like you guys because you're so easy to beat.

Oh, it's good to know.

Yeah, Penny, it's fun.

Yeah, anytime, Penny, anytime. Then we're going to change your name to Penny

Greek.

Well, so long, sucker.

at or something, man? Oh, man, I hope not, because the spare's got a hole in

too.

That don't make no difference. There ain't no jack.

Hey, Blood, sorry I'm late.

Had to fill the tank with gas. You guys owe me two bucks apiece.

Why should we pay for your gas?

One for all and all for one.

Okay, if that's the way you want it, then cop up your share for this here

parking ticket. Come on, man, get down. Relax,

you guys.

United we stand.

Oh, shut up.

I asked you for your share of the quarter I just put in the pocket meter.

I'm not cheap. Cheap? Cheap? Who you calling cheap, chump? How would you like

become a customer down there at Ferguson's? Come on now, man.

Take it easy, man. Take it easy, man.

With tightness and pantyhose, two sizes small.

Who needs you?

Hey, freeze.

Come on back here. Let him go. Let him go. Who needs him?

It's your fault, J .J.

My fault? Sure, big -time art director. You just had to buy that car.

Now the foursome is no moresome.

Yeah, man, you messed up the schedule by needing the car to go to your

grandmother's funeral.

Two days in a row.

How come we went for that? It's your fault. You better be cool. You're the

who lost the hubcap, so I don't want to hear nothing.

The hubcap, the hubcap. I haven't had it up to here with this chicken outfit.

Well, get on, Gizzo.

I never thought I'd see the day when the awesome foursome gets down to the

gruesome twosome.

And it's your fault, J .J.

Hasta la vista.

Now the awesome foursome is down to the lonesome mesome.

You think J .J.'s gonna let me borrow the car tonight?

Yeah, as soon as the bionic dog marries Mars the cat.

I didn't think he'd lend it to me either.

Hi, J .J.

Uh,

how was work today?

Did the boys call?

Uh, not since I was here.

Ah, sorry, J .J.

Uh, J .J., are you gonna use the car tonight?

I could borrow it?

Sure, Thelma.

Here are the keys.

I guess the Bionda dog is in trouble. Wait up, Thelma. I'm going. Drop me off

the gym. Yeah, okay. Hurry up. Let me borrow the car.

Honey,

I know you don't feel good.

I never had so many troubles in all my life.

I don't know about that car, Bionda.

I don't know whether to take it to an auto mechanic.

a priest.

J .J., it can't be all that bad.

I guess you're right, Walona. I mean, what can you say about a car that gets a

half a mile to the gallon?

I did drive it down to the supermarket and back, though, and I only stalled

times. Well, look, that's not too bad. I mean, considering the supermarket is a

good two blocks away.

Yeah, and then there was a little accident I had yesterday.

You report to the insurance company?

Yeah, but that was a mistake.

They canceled the policy.

Oh, that's terrible.

J .J., Thelma's driving a car with no insurance?

It's all right, Walona. The battery's dead.

Oh, boy. You know, Walona, I used to have friends and no car.

Now I got a car and no friends.

Oh, you mean the guys still aren't talking?

Walona, I never knew a 54 DeSoto could bust up a friendship.

No wonder they stopped making them.

Honey, it could have been a brand new Rolls Royce that wouldn't have made no

difference. Friendships last forever.

Cars don't.

I'll get it for you.

Collision?

You didn't have to make up a lie like that. I know.

But it was the only way I could think of to get Papo Head and Cool Breeze to

come over.

You're all best friends, and best friends shouldn't fight.

She's absolutely right about that.

But, honey, listen.

You shouldn't have told a fib like that.

I know.

But they wouldn't have believed that JJ was eaten by a shark.

on Collision. We'd be together by now. Come on, let's get it.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, Joe. Hold on, man.

I mean, since y 'all got over here so quick, it's obvious that y 'all care.

Now, I got a confession to make.

Without you guys for the last few days, it's been nowhere.

Yeah, I hear you. Same here, man. Me too.

What about that car? Hey, forget that car. Hey,

man, your car's blocking the garbage cans. You better move it. Chuck will be

here soon. Good. Let him haul it away with the rest of the trash.

the matter? You don't like the car anymore?

No, Bookman. It's not that we don't like the car. We love the car. It's just

that we're having a little financial trouble.

You wouldn't consider buying the car back, would you? That piece of junk?

Well, seeing as though you're in a bind, I'll buy it back from you for $100.

$100? You charged us twice that much.

Bookman, you said the car was a classic.

Of course, if you don't want the money.

Keys, please.

That's the easiest $100 I ever made. I should be on Wall Street.

Bookman, you're white enough to be Wall Street.

It's a pleasure doing business with you, fellas.

Looking out of the window Watching the asphalt grow

Thinking how it all looks And it dies Good times

Keeping your head above water Making a wave

when you can

Good times is videotaped in front of a studio audience.