Original subtitles

Good time, anytime you need a payment. Good time, anytime you feel free.

Good time, anytime you're up and under.

Not getting hassled, not getting hustled.

Keeping your head up above water.

Making a way when you can.

Temporary layoffs. Good time.

Oh, shoot. I really got lucky with my fortune cookie, didn't I?

I mean, I got to have the same frame.

He who reaches out will attain passionate romance.

But remember what mine said. He who reaches out will attain fat lips.

Would you like to come in?

Well, if you're sure, we're not going to be waking anybody up.

No, we have the living room to ourselves.

Oh, great.

I'll turn on the light, okay?

Okay. Just keep talking. I'll follow the sound of your voice. Okay. Keep getting

warmer. Is this warm enough, Cupcake?

Hey, come on, now.

J .J., what are you doing here?

Who are you?

I'm Cupcake. Who are you?

What's going on here?

Who's that?

Who are you?

Oh, these are my brothers.

Thelma, I thought you told me... Oh, J .J. Michael, what are you doing out

We're not sleeping, that's for sure.

Give me, JJ. I'm getting out of here.

Hey, Michael, come back here with those blankets, man.

I feel like a naked chicken out here.

Well, chicken, here are your feathers.

JJ, you and Michael have your own room now. Why aren't you in it?

Because Penny's sleeping in there.

We're babysitting for Walona.

You could have let Penny sleep in my room.

Look here, Thelma.

Now, Penny's going through her formative years.

If the first thing she was to see in the morning was your face, the girl would

be ruined for life.

Look, maybe I just better leave, okay?

Oh, wait a minute, Paul. Don't leave. This is ridiculous.

Don't leave right now. It does my heart good to see young people in love.

Welcome to the family, brah.

What are you talking about?

I just want to make sure Paul's intentions are honorable.

This is just our first date.

Oh, so that's your plan, huh?

Take young ladies to their own apartment and love them and leave them.

Do I look like I'd do something like that to Thelma?

Oh, so Thelma's not good enough for you, huh?

Thelma. Um, uh, Paul, I think it's time for you to go. Will you call?

Look what you did. You woke Penny up. I woke her up? You're the one who started

this thing first.

And look, you're invading my privacy.

Look here, girl.

You're invading the planet with that old ugly Martian face of yours.

by some noise coming from this apartment.

They can't sleep.

So they call on me. Now I can't sleep.

And if I can't sleep, Mrs. Bookman can't sleep.

And when Mrs.

Bookman can't sleep, she gets mean.

When I say mean, I mean mean as mean Joe Green.

Mr. Bookman?

Yes, Penny?

this. Let me handle this. Now, see, Bookman is not no ordinary janitor. This

man's a scholar.

He's beyond the normal realm of human beings. This man's a janitorial

and he should be treated like one.

Butt out, right, O 'Rourke?

See, Thelma, it's not what you say, it's how you say it.

That's why Ma left me in charge. Ma didn't leave you in charge. You are

charge. That's right, because I'm the oldest.

I am the oldest.

the night we had at the store. We take an inventory, you know. We kept on

up with this extra coat. And after two and a half hours of searching, we

discovered it was mine.

Penny, what are you doing up this late at night?

Well, I was asleep.

But then Selma came home with her boyfriend and he ended up in bed with

Who he called...

Which made Thelma throw a pillow at him. Because, see, he and Michael were

supposed to sleep in her room tonight.

And then J .J. threw the boyfriend out. And that made Thelma real mad at J .J.

Because he's not her father.

And then Rhino Rock came in mad because he's married to me and Joe Green.

And that's the name of that tune.

Well, let me explain.

See, being the head of the house... As head of nothing?

J .J., I'm tired of the way you're trying to run things around here.

Me? What did I do wrong?

Well, for one thing... You're always screaming at my boyfriends, telling me

to run my life, complaining about my cooking, strutting around with some dumb

peacock, and just making it miserable for me.

Yeah, but what did I do wrong?

Here, do you know what time it is? Let us talk about this tomorrow in the

morning. JJ, you better stop bossing me around.

Look here, Thelma. I'm the oldest, and Ma left me in charge.

And if you don't like it, you know what you can do.

And that's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to do it. You ain't doing

nothing with that.

Hold it. Hold it.

Hold it.

Come on, Penny. Come on. You're going home.

Go home and get in the bed.

Here.

Yes,

you do. Turn on the television set and I'll be right home, okay? But this is

better than TV. Penny.

You go home. Out of here.

Go on.

All right?

Okay. Okay. Penny's going now, Thelma. We have some talking to do.

Well, pardon moi. I have more important things to attend to.

Okay, Thelma. Come on. Tell me what this is all about.

Well, Luna, J .J. is just impossible.

Oh, now, Thelma, you know J .J. He's hard on the outside, but he's like a

mushy paper inside.

You know that.

He always said that about his brain.

J .J.

Hurricane Thelma blown over Indiana.

You can get back in the bed now.

Where is Grams? You get out of my bed!

Doesn't anybody get any sleep around here?

Thelma, you're upset, JJ. You're not helping Madison. Can we talk about it in

the morning, okay?

Okay. I'll go to sleep and we'll talk about it in the morning. Good.

And then...

Where's Thelma? She's still sleeping.

This late?

Don't wake up, Wilona. I'm trying to eat breakfast here.

She may want to come in here and cook.

Thelma!

That's strange. She's not in there. She's not? Oh, Wilona, she probably just

went for a walk. She'll be back.

Thelma, where were you, honey?

Oh, I was out thinking about what happened last night.

I was thinking about it, too.

And I'm thinking that perhaps your moving out is a good idea.

You do?

Mm -hmm. But on the other hand, you are young. You got your whole future. Right.

Then again, on the other hand, kids do grow up quicker these days.

Exactly. But then again, you do have some kind of family obligation, you

Yeah, yeah.

Then again, on the other hand, Thelma needs the space and the freedom to grow.

Amen. But on the other hand... You got more hands than that dude who came up...

think that you are ready and dependable and capable enough to make your own

decisions, and if you feel in your heart you need a place of your own, then,

honey, God bless.

Oh, thank you, Bologna.

But on the other hand... Come on, Bologna.

Come on, help me find a partner.

Bologna, I already found one.

Hold on there, girl.

It's executive chief of this family. I got to veto that vote.

On the grounds that unleashing you upon mankind in Americana would constitute

cruel and unusual punishment.

Overruled.

Hey, Thelma, what's your place look like?

Oh, Michael, it's perfect. It's right near campus so I can walk to school. And

one of my roommates is a girl in my dance class. And do you know, my share

the rent is only $55.

Hey, that's reasonable.

When are you planning on moving? The first of the month?

Uh, not exactly, but...

What do you mean, not exactly Wallona?

I'm moving in today.

Today? What?

Well, Wallona, this is it. What do you think?

Well, it reminds me of home. The elevator's broken and it's dirty.

Oh, Wallona.

What do you see inside?

Hi. Oh, I'm sorry. We must have the wrong apartment.

Oh, hi. This is Alvin.

Oh, hi, Alvin. We still got the wrong apartment. No, no, no.

Of your roommates?

Uh -huh.

Alvin,

I'd like you to meet Wilona Woods. She's a friend of the family's.

Hello.

Hello.

I hope you're going jogging.

Huh?

Jogging. Wilona, you

didn't mention that one of your roommates was a man.

Well, Lona, I grew up in the same house with two brothers. What's the

difference? There's a big difference, honey.

Oh, Karen, I'd like you to meet... Don't tell me.

Don't tell me. You must be Mrs.

Evans.

Marvelous to see you.

You know, you look just like your daughter.

Karen, this is my friend, Lona.

Whatever.

This is my roommate, Karen Clay.

How are you, Karen?

boxes, yeah? You want me?

Well, well, well.

You can tell me the apartment came with built -in dialectables.

The clarinet with feet is my brother, JJ. This is Karen.

Enchante, señorita.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, Malona, come on, let me show you around the place. Okay.

Uh, take the long route. Go.

I guess by now Thelma told you that I'm an artiste.

Painting is my game.

Do you have your own studio?

No, I gave up my big three -block studio down in the loop for high -paying

listeners and advertising executives.

Thelma, I bet you enjoy duping the masses into buying worthless garbage

can't even use.

It's people like you that should be put up against a wall and shot.

I just draw pictures.

What do you think? How do you like my place? Well, it's full of stuff in

I guess you'd say it was cozy.

Honey, listen now. If Kukawai sleeps in one room and you, Bubbly Bird, sleep in

the other room, where does Bas sleep?

Anywhere.

Hey, would you like to meet Thor, my tarantula? I

think

I'll wait for you downstairs.

You mean to tell me the big advertising genius is afraid of a little bitty

spider?

The only thing I want to see with eight legs are the pointer sisters.

I got to go home, too, honey. Okay. Listen, you take care of yourself. Do

homework. Eat well, and if you need anything, call me. You know where I'll

You know alone that you sound like a mother.

Do I? Ain't that terrible?

Wait a minute.

I am Bernie's mother, and us mothers got a strong union.

I love you, too, honey.

Take care, y 'all.

everybody gone.

You mean to tell me we ain't got nothing to eat in this house?

Ooh, hey.

Is Thelma ever coming home?

Well, Penny, right now Thelma's happy where she is.

Yeah, she has her own friends and her own life, baby.

She's been gone for three weeks now, and I wish I could tell her I miss her.

Oh, sugar, we all miss her.

But it's important that we don't let her know.

Why not?

Well, Penny, because we don't want Thelma to think that we miss her.

Why not?

Well, Because it would make her unhappy.

Mm -hmm. I don't understand.

That's because you're not a grown -up.

Boy, life is a lot more simple when you're a kid.

Let's get back to the cooking.

What's next?

A quarter teaspoon of pepper.

Quarter teaspoon of pepper.

Quarter teaspoon... That's about a quarter teaspoon.

Yeah. Okay.

A dash of hot sauce.

You put the dash in, honey. Okay.

And what do I do now?

Stir and till.

Okay, stir and till.

Until what?

Stir and till continues on page six. Well, turn to page six.

Find page six, honey. There is no page six.

Then what do we do now?

What do you mean, we, Betty Crocker?

without me, huh? Hey, sure.

What Penny really means is that we've been so busy, honey, we haven't had a

chance to even realize or notice you was gone.

Yeah. Tell me, you know, it's the first time in my life I've ever had a bed all

to myself.

Uh,

well, I see you guys are getting ready to eat.

Maybe I came at the wrong time.

Uh, uh, no, honey, come on. I cooked. You got plenty. You can have some.

That's all right.

Uh, I got dinner waiting for me at home, see, so what I'll do is just go get my

things, you know?

Okay, Penny. Serve up the stuff. Get the chili bowls. I don't want that.

Get out of here. What have you done to my room?

Give me something that's never had before, Thelma.

Class.

JJ, you call Lola Flama on the ceiling class?

And what's that old fake girl doing up there on the wall?

Thelma, I'll have you know that is 100 % genuine imitation zebra skin.

That's right, because it was cluttering up my room.

What do you mean, your room?

Well, I guess it is your room now.

Well, I got to run.

Thelma, you sure you won't stay and have some dinner, honey?

No, I'll be okay.

I'll call.

Okay, you take care of yourself, dear.

Come on, baby, let's eat.

Oh, boy.

We missed them and we didn't even tell her.

I bet she missed us and she didn't tell us.

Are you sure you grown -ups know what you're doing?

Well, I'm home.

Oh, girl, you missed a great dinner, but we saved you some.

Oh, good, because I am starving.

Where is it? The bed.

Your share for this week's grocery bill comes to $15 .90.

For what?

I ain't eating nothing.

Look, we all take our chances with the bear.

Your share for this month's phone bill comes to $23.

Oh, now, come on. Now, that's ridiculous.

I didn't make no calls to no bully Oklahoma or anywhere else long distance.

Look, we split all bills equally four ways.

Who's shouting?

Bear, get off that bathroom now.

Oh.

Hi, Thelma.

Hi, Paul.

How you doing? Okay, okay.

Come on in.

Hey, I really like your new place, Thelma.

I think.

Look,

I brought you a little housewarming gift.

Walk with the cherries.

Walk with the cherries.

I don't mind if I do.

What are you doing? Will you stop it?

Get out of here.

What?

Thelma, you didn't tell me we were having company.

But you look familiar.

Did you bring them just for me?

Uh, no. No, we didn't.

Now, if you don't get out of here, I'll have something just for you.

Well, time to go.

Oh, don't go.

All right. All right.

Door's gone. Has anybody seen my tarantula?

I'll call you.

I'll call you. I'll call you as soon as I can.

You know something?

He's kind of cute.

we share everything well then good maybe you'd like to

share some chocolate

of the stuff from the basement. You're lucky. The rats only ate half of it.

Oh, J .J.

Thelma, now I know I have this uncanny effect on women, but you're my sister.

There, there, Thelma. Tell Brother J. what the problem is.

Oh, J .J., I'm a failure.

Thelma, how can you say that?

I guess I was wrong.

I just wasn't ready to try my wings.

I left two people I really love to move in with three cuckoos.

I still can't find my tarantula.

shirts go into the laundry by itself.

Thelma, I never thought I would say this, but I finally found somebody's

who's worse than yours.

Rolona's.

Thelma, will you come home?

JJ, you don't want me. You're just saying that.

No, Thelma, I really mean it. Will you come home?

I can't.

Pretty please?

What about you trying to run my life?

All right, Thelma, I promise I won't ever try to run your life again.

Good. Now get this.

Just looking out of the window, watching the asphalt road,

thinking how it all looks when you die.

Good times, good times, keeping your head above water,

making a wave when you can, temporary layoffs, good times.

Good times is videotape in front of a studio audience.