Original subtitles

Good time, anytime you need a payment. Good time, anytime you feel free.

Good time, anytime you're up and under.

Not getting hassled, not getting hustled. Keeping your head up for water.

Making a way when you can.

Temporary layoffs. Good time.

Grandma, if I said hello when I came in, I wouldn't have enough strength to come

in.

Another tough day at the office, huh?

Hey, look here, gal.

I works hard at that advertising agency. Jungle out there.

Dog eat dog.

You in big trouble, because you look like a milk bone.

You got some nerve. You could be a model for Al...

just ran through here?

Either Lona or Jack LaLanne.

I guess all that hassle she's going through to adopt Penny must be really

getting to her. I sure hope she gets her.

Hey, JJ, doesn't dinner smell good? Try it.

Yeah, Thelma, this will really stick to your ribs if you can get it unstuck from

the pot.

First person who asked me how school was today is going to get a knuckle

special. Okay, 1F. It was a bummer.

I tried out for captain of JV basketball team. I didn't even make co -captain.

And they had three co -captains.

Hey, Walona, what are you doing? Jogging.

Your child is good for you.

Hey, Walona, why don't you stay in the park?

Are you jiving? The park?

I need to get mugged, hugged, or slugged.

Hey, Walona, you don't have to be knocking yourself out to get in shape.

I mean...

great shape for your old woman i'm gonna be penny's mother i'm gonna have to be

in better shape well he's just gonna raise the kid you're not gonna fight her

i'm doing this fool running around because i've ever stood still i worry

crazy wondering if i'd ever get penny or not have you heard anything about it

yet no all i heard is be cool take it easy it's too soon alona

Honey, I've been examined by psychologists, sociologists, and a mess

fancyologists.

And after all that, I still got to have a final interview.

Well, at least Penny is being taken very good care of in that foster home.

What if I don't get her?

What if I flunk my final interview?

Oh, you won't flunk. Especially if you go by my motto of life, which is always

think positive thoughts and you're bound to deliver.

And if that don't work, there's always the river.

You know, JJ, you're a really big help.

I'm going to jog to the store.

Get me some ice cream and cake. Ice cream and cake, Mama? Mm -hmm. I owe it

myself after all this exercise.

I sure hope she gets Penny. It'll be fun hearing the pat of little feet around

here. Yeah.

Especially if the little feet aren't attached to cockroaches.

Hey, Bookman, what do you want?

She'll hear us. Who'll hear us? Miss Woods, I just found out that she's a

Wilona's a spy?

Look here, Bookman, you sure you haven't been cutting off old mob heads and

smoking them?

Well, how come the CIA's asking questions about her lifestyle, whether

she throws wild parties and stuff like that?

Oh, they're doing that because Wilona's trying to become a mother.

You mean the CIA's into motherhood, too?

Well, they're into everything else.

You see, Wilona's trying to adopt Penny.

The cute little kid who used to live here? Yeah. Hey, that's terrific.

So it's probably the social workers that's asking all those questions.

Oh, listen, you know, I'd like to help Miss Woods. I mean, we don't get along

and everything, but, hey, if she wants that kid, I'm all for it. Oh, that's

of you, Bookman, but you see, it's extra hard for Walona to adopt because she's

a single person.

You mean it would be easier if she was a married couple? Much easier.

Well, she can count on me. I'm behind Miss Woods 100%. In your case, Bookman,

it's more like 400%.

It's your life.

Hello there, Mom.

What's up,

Mom? Get out of there.

You know what? You're the one who's lasting longer than most marriages.

Just a little joke there.

Mom said very little.

Yeah, when are you all coming home?

That wasn't mine. That was the motel operator. She cut us off. JJ, what was

that online about? Yeah.

Well, Miguel, it's very heavy. I think you all better sit down here.

You know, being the oldest member of the family and now the man in the house and

the eldest junior and the temporary commander -in -chief.

Are you going to tell us or not?

I was just getting to that.

Ma and Carl are fine, but they didn't think they were going to stay in Tucson

little while longer. On account of the climate, it's good for Carl's health.

much longer?

Could be a year.

A year?

What about us?

Well, Ma wants us to come out there.

Oh, good.

That'll be good.

Um, J .D., what'd you tell her?

Nothing. That's when you're not ready to cut us off.

Hello.

Is this the Evans department?

Yes, it is.

Oh. I'm Mrs.

Dobbs from the Department of Children and Family Services.

Oh, well, Lola's a beautiful person. Come on in now. She'd be the best mother

that little girl could ever have. She's exactly what Penny needs.

Well, my goodness.

I haven't even asked any questions yet, and you have all the answers.

Well, Mrs. Dobbs, she'll be a very good mother because she's very responsible.

Very. Yeah, she practically brought me up, and look at me.

Oh, dear.

I'd better go interview Miss Woods now. Oh, she's not home right now, but she'll

be right back. You can wait here if you like.

Oh, I'm certainly tempted to.

My feet are killing me.

Corns, you know.

I wore orthopedic shoes for years. Then I found out they were a size and a half

too small.

Uh, why don't you wait in Walona's apartment over here?

That way you'll be sure not to miss her.

Well, thank you very much.

You know, I could come back tomorrow, but I'm planning to soak my feet in

bicarb.

Hey, J .J., about Arizona, are we really going?

Well, if Mom wants the family there, I guess you and Thelma are going to have

go. No.

Hold on, me and Thelma? What about you, J .J.? Yeah, aren't you part of the

family? Sure, but I've reached the age of maturity.

Better fool me.

Hey, look here, gal. I got a good job now, and I'm not leaving it. Yeah, but

said you were tired of working so hard.

Well, that my hard work is not only the key to success, it's also the key to the

executive powder room.

I agree with you, J .J.

You know, bro, I'm really going to miss you.

Yeah, J.

I'm going to be so miserable without you.

It'll be just like you were there.

Oh, say.

If you've come to see Miss Woods, she's not home yet. I'm waiting to see her

myself.

You wouldn't by any chance be the adoption social worker? Oh, why, yes, I

I'm Mrs. Dobbs. Oh, it's a pleasure to meet a social worker who does such good

social work.

I enjoy the work.

Now, may I have my hand back?

But, you know, it's awfully hard on the feet.

The work is, that is.

Corns, you know.

Well, why don't you come inside where it's more comfy? Allow me.

Thank you.

Hey, do you have a key to that apartment?

I mean, who has a better right?

Oh, you're a friend of Miss Wood.

Friend is hardly the word.

I'm Miss Wood's husband.

Oh.

All right.

Oh, well, I, I, well, I don't understand.

How could you be her husband?

I was under the impression that she was a single person.

This is very confusing, Mr. Woods.

No, no, no, no. I'm not Mr. Woods. I'm Mr. Bookman.

You're Bookman and she's Woods and you're married?

That's even more confusing.

You see, I'm married to a very liberated woman.

She uses her maiden name, Ms. Woods.

Oh, well, I approve of that. I'm liberated myself.

But I'm not quite that brave.

Besides, my maiden name is Suds.

We've been married 12 glorious years.

Oh, that's so refreshing to hear.

Do you know that one out of every two marriages today ends up in divorce?

Oh, that could never happen with us. I wouldn't dream of breaking up with my

little kissy face.

That's my pet name for her, kissy face. Oh, I like that.

Hey, what are you doing in my house? Recklessly awaiting you, my little kissy

face.

Get out of here. Go along with me, go along with me. Get out of here.

Little game we play every day.

I envy you.

Who are you?

Oh, I'm Mrs. Dobb from the Department of Children and Family Services.

Oh, my.

Excuse my appearance. Oh, you look ravishing, my little kissy face.

What in the world is going on?

What's with this kissy face?

That's all right.

You just pretend I'm not here.

Do you have a pet name for Mr. Bookman? Uh -huh.

Buffalo Butt.

Strange, but endearing.

Now, Miss Wood, the department wants to know where your head is at.

You see, in order to be an adoptive parent, one must be self -confident,

dedicated, flexible, understanding, and patient. Oh, that lady's all that.

Believe me, she is. This lady's a saint. Saint kissy face.

Buffalo butt.

Can I talk to you a minute, please?

Excuse us.

Would you check the bathroom? I think there's a leaky faucet.

Your every wish is my command.

But I'll miss you every second I'm away.

Au revoir.

Well, I don't know what got into that man.

Well, continuing with the requirements for parenting, one must be able to give

freely of oneself. Oh, I'm very generous.

Would you like some cake?

Oh, some cake and ice cream. Ice cream and cake, you know.

Well, um, well, no, thank you.

I'm trying to watch my figure.

Since no one else seems to be.

Well, moving along, one should have a very healthy attitude toward the

sex. Oh, one does.

One does.

Yes, I know. Mr.

Bookman confided in me.

He did.

And what does he know about it?

Well, I should think he knows a great deal about it.

Not about my personal life, he don't.

Oh, you have a wonderful sense of humor.

And that's very important.

Oh.

Now then, what else can you tell me about Buffalo Butt?

much to tell. You know, whenever I need him, he's never around.

And when he is around, he does a lousy job.

There's that sense of humor again.

Hi, Wilona.

Oh, Miss Dobbs, you still here? Well, yes. I had a few more questions, but I

think this house is full of love and would be an ideal environment for a

Oh, thank you.

And may I add that you have a wonderful, affectionate husband.

Wilona's not married.

Not married.

You're not married?

Oh, well, then. That explains everything.

How dare you deceive the department?

I didn't deceive anyone.

Oh, Miss Woods, you had a good thing going for you as a single person.

I don't know why you found it necessary to bring up a phony husband. This will

weigh very heavily against you. Goodbye, Miss Woods.

Well, Lana, what is she talking about? What phony husband?

I got a pretty good idea.

Oh, first kissy face, anything else I can do for you? Yeah.

Oh, still.

Come on, we're going to cheer up now. I'm sure Bookman didn't mean any harm.

See, he heard us. said that it was hard for a single person to adopt.

So he thought he was helping.

Maybe he tried to help them, but he ruined everything.

I'll never get Penny now.

I think things are going to work out all right.

You two for so long.

Oh, we had the bus depot getting your tickets to Arizona.

Well, you didn't have to go to Arizona to get them.

You got two bus tickets.

One for me and one for you.

Hey, Michael, you know, I've been doing a lot of thinking.

Yeah?

What I've been thinking is, well, I think I don't want to go to Arizona.

What? Well, um, you see, JJ needs somebody to clean the house and cook.

What?

Well, the truth is, Michael, I don't want to transfer colleges now.

Because, see, I don't want to lose my scholarship.

That means I have to go to Arizona by myself.

Oh, you can handle a bus ride.

And you know Ma will be glad to see you.

Yeah, I know.

Thelma, are you sure?

Michael, this is hard for me, too, you know?

And I'm going to miss Ma, but I'm sure.

Wilona, what do you think about this?

Well, Gramps, you know I'm going to miss you.

But you can make it on your own.

Yeah. Well, Wilona, just in case you don't get Penny and someone else does,

sure they'll find a good home for her.

Yeah.

But it won't be mine.

Yeah, and this is all Bookman's fault.

Boy, just wait till I get my hands on that Bookman.

Yeah, if you'll accept petty thoughts.

Now, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Before you say anything, I

came to apologize.

Oh, no, Bookman, no apologies, no excuses.

This is the final straw. You done done it now.

Throw them up. Come on, I don't want to hurt you, J .J. Uh -huh, karate.

Oh,

boy. Look, I was only trying to help.

You know that, Bookman, but you did it the wrong way. That's right, Bookman.

This time you have to pay the heavy price.

Miss Woods, look, I came up to your apartment to ask you to make believe I

your husband.

You weren't there, and then I ran into Miss Dobbs, and I sort of took off on my

own. Look, I'm sorry.

I accept your apology. Now get out.

All right, I'll go.

Crawling out with your tail between your legs, huh?

You might like to know the reason why I was trying to help. It doesn't matter.

Well, I'm going to tell you anyway.

You see, because my parents were the nicest folks in the world.

Come on, Bookman, not now.

I mean, they put me through school when I was sick, they nursed me, and they

brought me up to be what I am today.

I thought you said they were nice people.

Nathan Bookman.

Guy with a good heart who did a dumb thing.

Hey, I told you it was all right, didn't I? Why don't you go on home, man?

But I only did a dumb thing because I was remembering my folks.

You see, they didn't have me in the beginning. They adopted me.

Oh, yeah, I was like Penny. I had a mother and a father, but I never had

parents. Not until I moved in with the Bookmans.

You know, I know I messed up all your plans, but, Miss Woods, I'm really

I'm sorry I hit you in the face with the cake.

All right, sorry.

Butterscotch is my favorite.

Oh, by the way, listen, I went to see Miss Dobbs. I explained everything to

and she said they would take everything into consideration.

Take everything into consideration?

That's just a highfalutin' way of saying you've blown it, sister.

But she said to let you know that a decision would be made soon, and she'll

you one way or the other.

Probably the other.

Well, you try.

Hey.

Thanks, booger.

Yeah, sweet mama. You know you are the only one for me.

Now, I could even never think of anybody else.

No, you are everything to me.

Who is this?

Ah, Judy Ann.

Of course, my little black eyed pea.

You know, why don't you say you and me... J .J., I told you you can't tie up

phone. Honey, Miss Dawes might be calling me over here.

Well, hold on.

We've got to put a cease and desist to this phone business.

You're putting a cramp in my love life.

J .J., I'm sorry.

Do you know what it feels like to want something so bad and be kept waiting and

not knowing whether you're going to get it or not?

Sounds like my love life, all right.

Is Graham's ready to go?

Almost.

I'd take him down to the depot, but I've got to stay with this phone.

We know.

Michael,

don't forget these now. These are some cookies I baked for the road.

Thelma, those cookies are hard enough to be the road.

Well, Grams, you going to say goodbye or what?

Take care of yourself, yeah?

You let me know about Penny. You know I will.

Well, Summer, let's get on out of here.

The bags.

Oh, J .J.

I don't care, Thelma. I think I want to stay here with everybody else.

You know, Ma and Carl have each other now.

And at the beginning of a new marriage, they should be alone.

Miguel!

Are you ready?

No, JJ, I've decided to stay here and finish out the school year. Oh!

Michael, I thought you were unhappy about the basketball team.

Thelma, you know, I think if I hang in there, I might make captain next year.

I wish you had told me about this before you had me wrestle with all these heavy

bags. Oh, what heavy bags?

But instead of asking me what I think, I think somebody better call your mama

and ask her what she thinks.

You mean we're going to get a chance to use our own phone for a change, Melona?

Mm -hmm.

Doesn't make any difference now because it's after office hours. They won't call

me again.

Who am I kidding?

It's been a week now, right?

Now, if I was going to get Penny, I would have heard something by now.

Well, no news is bad news.

I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

Maybe the people down at the department figure a single person has to have a

double dose of everything good.

And Walona Wood just did not measure up.

Maybe I wanted too much, you know, wanting to be a mother, wanting someone

love. I knew it was a long shot from the beginning.

Walona?

Penny?

I'm not crying, Michael.

It just occurred to me, though, now that you're not leaving, I'm going to have

to eat Thomas cookies.

I had almost given up hope.

Well, you know, in the past, Ms. Woods, it was very difficult for single parents

to adopt.

But laws have changed and times have changed. And there are so many older

children waiting for a good home.

And anyway, we got such glowing reports about you.

especially for Mr. Bookman, that, well, we decided that one could give just as

much love as two.

Thank you.

Penny, I know we have so much to learn about each other, but I promise you,

I'll love you more than any mother's ever loved a little girl.

Oh, Mama.

Just looking out of the window, watching the asphalt grow,

thinking how it all looks when we die.

Good times, good times, keeping your head above water, making a

wave when you can.

Temporary layoffs, good times, easy credit ripoffs, good times.

Good times is videotape in front of a studio audience.