Original subtitles

Good times, any time you feel free.

Good times, any time you're up and under.

Not getting hassled, not getting hustled. Keeping your head up for water.

Making a way when you can.

Temporary layoffs. Good times, easy credit ripoffs. Good times.

What's happening?

Yeah. A party Friday night?

Hey, man.

Just invite some fine chicks this time.

That was a fox wearing that necklace?

I thought she was wearing a flea collar.

Hey, look here, bro. All I'm saying is invite some foxes, man.

gruesome gooses.

Hey, all right, man.

I'll ask her.

Casey Rock.

Hey, Thelma.

Papa's having a party Friday night and he's inviting you, which must mean the

guest list reads like who's who at the zoo.

Well, I don't want to go to no party. Well, I tell him you elected to stay in

your cage.

Why don't you go zip your face in your pants?

Hey, girl, I'm just relaying a message. Ain't you got no gratitude?

It's obvious.

But you definitely don't have our dinner on your mind.

You're treating that chicken like Jack the Ripper.

You want to cut it? Oh, no. Ma told you. All right, then leave me alone.

What's wrong with her?

I think Thelma's getting stoned on chicken fat.

Thelma always asks to kill you when it has something to do with love.

Ah, love.

Well, let the doctor of love diagnose the case.

Drunken jaws.

Drooping lips.

Flipped up eyelids.

Either she's in love or has a ruptured face.

You know, I've been reading a lot on Africa lately, and I read that African

are very aggressive in romance.

Ah, so eBay wants to get into a little hanky -panky. He wants to get into a lot

of hanky -panky.

Watch it, you knock it off. You don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, wow.

Sounds like this could be serious.

Hey, Thelma, if you got a problem, you can tell us. Maybe we can help.

eBay and I are in love.

What else is new?

Well, he asked me to move in with him, and I said yes.

Well, I've heard of foreign aid, but this is ridiculous.

Thelma, how can we help you with that?

Show me how to tell Ma.

The best way to tell Ma is to call her from St. Louis.

I disagree here. You know, Ma made me mad at first, but she is reasonable

understanding. And the one good thing about Ma is that she will listen when

got something to say.

Oh!

Well, welcome home, Mother dear, after a long, hard day at work.

And a hearty greeting from your warm and loving family. JJ, shut up.

Didn't I tell you to have this chicken cut and seasoned when I got home? Now,

why isn't it? Well, because... Oh, that's a likely story. Now, get busy.

Michael? Yeah?

Didn't I tell you to dust when you got home from school?

Oh, well, unlike the children, Mother dear, I have fulfilled my obligation.

La man.

La junk.

Ma, is it safe to assume that you're in a bad mood?

It is safe to assume I'm in a rotten mood.

Walmart, if there's anything we can do, let us know, and we'll get it.

You can start with a new pair of feet.

Hey, I'll check the Sears catalog.

Just a little humor, Ma.

Very little.

Oh, kids, I'm sorry, but I had a rough day at work.

And if I seem irritable, it's just because I'm pooped. Hey, don't worry,

understand. Well, Thelma, now's the perfect time to tell her. She's in a

mood and she can't get any rotten up.

You sure? You sure? Thelma, go talk to her. Oh, it feels good to rest.

You know, Ma, there's one thing they say about feeling rotten.

It's the lowest you can feel.

Right. You know what I mean? Like, nothing you see or hear could possibly

you feel any worse.

Wrong.

What's up? Who did what and why?

JJ?

Oh, Ma, I resent that.

I have been most cool.

Yeah, Ma, and I have been even cooler.

Oh, Ma, maybe we should talk about it after you had a chance to rest. Oh,

I just finished resting.

Now what is it you want to talk about?

Oh, Ma, I could wait. You know, I could wait. Oh, Ma, what is it you want to

talk about?

Uh... Well, um... I want to hear what you got to say, and I want to hear it

Well, Ma... Ma, you know how you always said you wanted us to leave the ghetto?

Well, I'm leaving.

Where you going?

Well, you see, I got this apartment.

Apartment?

How are you going to take care of an apartment when you don't have a job to

the rent?

Oh, well, I...

Ma, she don't have to pay any rent. She's going to be what we call live -in

help.

She's going to be washing, cooking, cleaning, etc.

Especially, etc.

Hold it, hold it.

Now, I get the feeling that somebody is trying to tell me something.

All right, Thelma.

In plain, simple English, what is it?

Okay, Ma.

You know, we've discussed this before.

No speeches.

Just the facts.

Okay, Ma.

eBay and I are in love.

And we're going to live together.

Is that what all the beating around the bush was for?

You mean you're not upset?

No. Not even a teeny bit? No.

You mean you're going to let her move in with eBay? Hell no.

Mom, I have the final word on this. I'm moving in with eBay and you have nothing

to say about it.

Hi, y 'all. What's happening?

Hey, what's the good word?

Thelma has just informed me that she's moving in with eBay.

Oh, Lord have mercy. Moving in?

Last time we talked, you were just dating and having fun? Well, now they're

going to be having more fun than ever.

Thelma, I just can't let you go live with that man. I wasn't brought up that

way. And I didn't think I had brought you up that way.

Ma, we're deeply in love.

Sure you are, this week.

And I remember when you were deeply in love with Clarence and Roger and John

then... No, Ma, that was kid stuff. Well, then the kid must have grown up in

last month.

Thelma, listen, honey, the point your mother's making is very valid.

At 19, Mr. Wright is like a detergent.

Looks like it's new and crude and goes right on down the drain.

Won't anybody give me credit for knowing when I'm experiencing true love?

Well, if it is true love, why don't you get married?

Ma, this is the 70s. People live together first.

That's the only way to find out if a marriage is going to work. The only way

you're going to find out if a marriage works is to get married.

Ma, nobody buys a pair of shoes without trying them on.

And nobody's going to buy used shoes either.

Honey, she is telling you the gospel truth.

Living together, man gets all the benefits of marriage and none of the

responsibility. Marrying eBay might not be the right thing for Thelma anyhow.

I read that it's an African custom for a man to have as many wives as he can

afford. I don't care about the African customs.

I care about here and now and my grown -up daughter making a juvenile decision.

Ma, it's not a juvenile decision. We're in love and we want to spend our lives

together. Then do it right and get married.

Ma! ready to get married. Well, there is no way I'm going to let you go play

house.

eBay!

No use in having a fish fry without the fish. Come on in.

Hello,

Ilona. Hi. This is Evan.

You're both looking beautiful, as usual.

Don't be peddling that sugar to me.

I just told Ma about us living together and she's a little upset, but she'll get

over it. Yeah, as soon as Harlem turns white.

I'm afraid there's been a change of plans.

Change of plans?

Yes, my father called me a short time ago from Nigeria.

And when I informed him that I was suspended from the university, he asked

come home.

Come home?

Thank heavens.

Thelma, I want very much to stay.

But I have no money and I can't get a job without losing my student's visa.

Yeah, but what about us?

Thelma, I want you to come back with me and be my wife.

Your wife?

Marry me, Thelma, and we'll have the biggest, happiest wedding my country has

ever seen.

Oh, eBay, I don't know what to say.

Say you want a 10 -carat diamond ring.

Thelma, you must give me an answer. There isn't much time. Thelma, there's

of time.

Let eBay go home.

And then if he still thinks he is in love with you, he can always come back.

And if you don't, you'll have a 10 -carat diamond ring.

you to take your time. It was you who said you weren't ready to get married.

I know.

Boy, I need a little time.

I'm going to take all the time you want.

There's no use rushing halfway across the world with a man you hardly know. We

know each other very well, Mrs. Evans, and our souls are in perfect harmony.

Afraid that won't get it, eBay.

Mine in the soul music.

eBay, I admit that living in Nigeria sounds... Sounds romantic, but Africa

America by a long shot.

It's a different world and a different place in time, and I'm afraid that

just won't be able to handle it. Well, Thelma's intelligent. She can adapt.

Yeah, if she can survive 19 years in a ghetto, she can survive anyway.

I wish I knew what to do with Thelma, honey. Listen, now this is the big step.

If you really love eBay the way you say you do, a decision is easy to make,

honey. Well, Lona, I do.

Thelma.

You know, you're like a precious jewel.

I could never find another like you in three lifetimes.

I love you more than anything else on this earth.

Please say you'll marry me. Thelma.

Oh, Thelma, getting married at 19 is hardly the kind of future your daddy and

worked so hard for you to have.

Stay here, finish school, and become the woman we wanted you to be.

I'm sorry, Ma.

I'm sorry.

But I have to be the woman I want to be.

And that's why I'm going with eBay.

Oh, Calma, you make me the happiest man in the world.

Oliver, the first thing we've got to do is to have a feast. A feast?

I'll prepare an authentic Nigerian dinner for all of you at my apartment

tomorrow night. Oh, out of sight. A real African meal. Woo, honey. Oh, Thelma,

Thelma, I've got so much to do since we're leaving so soon.

Listen, you must apply for your passport and leave the first thing in the

morning. Okay, I will. I'll see you all tomorrow at my place at six. Okay.

Goodbye, my love. Until the feast.

Bye. Bye -bye. See you tomorrow.

Okay.

Oh, Thelma, honey.

Oh, I'm so happy for you.

I'm going to miss you, little girl.

I'm going to miss you too, Thelma.

I don't mind you getting married.

Do you have to go so far away?

Oh, Thelma.

You know, I know I've made fun of your cooking, your face,

your smarts.

Encourage me that. I'm not going to be losing a sister.

I'm going to be losing an upset stomach.

Well, Thelma, that's my way of saying I'm going to miss you too.

Hey, I bet you that party tomorrow night is going to be something we'll never

forget. Yeah.

Hey, Flo, what are you going to wear tomorrow for the party? Nothing.

Nothing? This is going to be a party to remember.

I'm not going to the party. Flo. You've got to come. This is a celebration.

There's no reason for me to celebrate. I'm against you leaving.

How are you going to be happy with a man who can have as many wives as he wants?

Oh, yeah.

I can see the headlines now.

Gorgeous ghetto girl becomes happy harem honey.

Come on now, I'm not going to be part of a harem. Those African customs

Michael's been reading about, they don't all apply to eBay.

How can you be sure?

Did you ask him? I don't have to. Young, educated Africans are just not into

that stuff. I don't. I don't care what they're into. I am still against you

leaving. Ma, you... Thelma, Thelma.

Kids, why don't you go in the back and find some clothes for tomorrow night?

right, come on.

No, no, no, Thelma, please.

Thelma, please trust me.

Ooh, child, I got some news for you that's just too juicy.

Well, all our gossip is the furthest thing from my mind right now. All you

to hear about this, honey, is about a chick that lives in this building.

Sweetest, kindest woman you ever want to meet, but she got a problem.

Don't we all?

You see, she's invited to a dinner party to celebrate her daughter's wedding,

and you know what? She ain't going.

I mean, she don't care that she's going to break her daughter's heart by not

showing up.

How do you know she doesn't care?

Because if she did, she would have to admit that kids do grow up, and they do

leave home.

And they don't always leave at the right time or for the right reason.

Anyway, I think she ought to be in her daughter's corner.

Because right now her baby girl needs all the love and understanding and

she can get from her mama.

I guess I have been a little selfish, huh? You're damn right you have.

Milana? Yeah?

Oh, no, thank you.

eBay, this pad is too bad. It's lovely.

Mmm.

It looks sort of like a do -it -yourself museum.

Voila!

JJ, take off that mask.

What mask?

I just wanted to show you what Thelma's going to look like in the morning

without any makeup on.

By the way, bro, when are we going to eat?

We'll eat in a moment. But first, I have some gifts for my prospective family.

Oh.

Mrs. Evans.

Oh.

This is cloth from my country.

And whatever you choose to make from it, it'll be heightened by your own

elegance. Oh, eBay is be...

It's really going to be the envy of the neighborhood.

It's going to be sad to watch the black chicks turn green.

Michael, this mask symbolizes the spirits of our ancestors.

It's worn on ceremonial occasion when a child is born.

And I want you to have it always.

Hey, thanks, eBay.

Hey, Ma, check out what eBay gave me.

JJ, this is yours.

What is this?

It's juju.

Juju?

And it's worn around the neck for protection.

Well, I guess when you're an Ebony sex god like I am, you need all the

protection you can get.

Now, I think it's time to eat. Okay, I'll set the table. No, no, I'll do

Please don't.

Because this is a traditional African dinner.

Huh?

And tables aren't used.

And now we all sit on the floor.

Sit on the floor?

Mrs. Evans, we all use cushions. Oh, that's all right if they're going to

up and meet me halfway.

african food today so when i got here my taste buds wouldn't go through any

culture shock and in the process i become a culinary genius you know so i'm

explaining to y 'all all the food we'll be eating here today you know just a

little tit bit yeah i understand that oh that smells delicious whatever that is

yeah even what's in that bowl uh wait a minute i'll hang on this this is an old

african favorite called cassava root pie no

That's starch made from the corn, and it's called fufu.

Fufu? I just wanted to make sure you knew what you was cooking, bro.

Checking you out.

Without any problem whatsoever.

Now,

see, I know what this is. See, this is an old African favorite. Another one

called curry yam rangoon.

No.

That is a mixture of hot spiced chicken, beef, vegetables, and peanuts.

And it's called ground nuts, too.

J .J., give it up.

Your knowledge of African food is embarrassing.

Hey, eBay, what's this clear stuff in this bowl?

I know this.

This here, Michael, you see, is an old West African, not from East, but from

West Africa, called mango cream soda.

No.

It's water.

You're washing your fingers off.

No, we all eat with our fingers.

Now that's something JJ knows about.

And we all eat from the same bowl, taking from the side that is closest to

First, you take the foo -foo like this, and then dip it into the stew.

I hope I don't make a boo -boo and let my foo -foo get on my goo -goo.

It's delicious.

Not only that.

It's surprising how... Easy it is to get used to the customs.

Well,

I felt the same way about your customs.

Hey, you know, African customs may seem strange, but they're fun.

Yeah, especially the one about having more than one wife.

Oh, no, not that again.

Why not?

It's the perfect time to ask him.

eBay, everybody thinks that when I get married, I'm going to be part of a

I love only Thelma.

I don't want anyone else.

Oh, you don't know, Ma.

She's hard to convince. You're going to have to say, I'm going to be the only

wife in just those words. Now, go ahead. That's right.

Tell her, eBay.

Go ahead,

eBay. Now, wait a minute now.

You're not going to tell her. Tell me.

Go ahead, eBay. Tell me. I'm going to be your only wife.

Tell Ma.

I would walk out of your life before I lied to you.

That is something I can't tell you because I can't be sure.

You can't be sure?

Oh, that doesn't matter. You know, I'm enough woman for you anyhow.

I die.

Tell me there's nothing to worry about.

Oh, there's plenty to worry about.

But there isn't.

I mean, even if I was to take another wife, it wouldn't harm you.

All the advantages belong to the first wife.

Yeah, but they're not the advantages that belong to the only wife.

Thelma, I love you.

Well, then tell me you won't take another wife.

There are no guarantees. I mean, you were willing to risk living with me, and

there were no guarantees there either.

We're talking about marriage. We're not talking about living together.

Now, you've got to promise me you won't take another wife.

Thelma, you're asking me to push aside generations of tradition, to suddenly

disown everything that I am, my culture, my way of life.

Thelma, I love you, but that's as much as I can promise for the future.

Well,

well, I guess you have your way of life, and I have mine.

And I'm as stubborn as you are about cutting it loose.

Thelma, please, I want to marry you.

Oh, Eben, I love you so much. You know, I'm willing to risk this. Well, then say

you'll marry me. I can't do that. I really can't do that. It's because I'll

never stop wondering when and if you're going to take somebody else.

And I just can't live with that.

I'm sorry.

Salma.

Goodbye,

eBay.

Just looking out of the window, watching the asphalt road,

thinking how it all looks and it dies.

Good times, good times, keeping your head above water,

making a wave when you can, temporary layoffs, good times.

Good times is videotape in front of a studio audience.