Original subtitles

Good time, anytime you need a payment. Good time, anytime you feel free.

Good time, anytime you're out and under.

Not getting hassled, not getting hustled. Keeping your head above water.

Making a way when you can.

Good afternoon, 4M Limited.

4M what, Hoosers?

One moment, please. I'll see if he's in.

It's for you, boss.

Cello, 4M Limited here.

J .J. Evans, resident president speaking.

You know, there's something weird going on around here. Yep, and it answers to

the name of J .J.

Yeah, you want a table for tonight, for six?

Yeah, for the opening of comedian extraordinaire Tyrone Tyler?

You got it, brother.

See your face at the plate.

Well, that makes every major newspaper in town coming down tonight.

Uh -oh, got to make some changes here.

Can't have the Jewish post sitting too close to the voice of Egypt.

is this nonsense about you calling yourself 4M Limited?

That just ain't me, Ma.

That's us.

See, since I got back into the entertainment business managing Tyrone,

we ought to have a fancy name. So I named us 4M Limited.

Well, how come that's us?

4M Limited. That's Mama, Michael, and me.

Hey, what about me?

You're the fourth M. Miserable.

Say what you want, Thelma, but Tyrone's our ticket out of the ghetto.

JJ, we had a showbiz ticket out of the ghetto before, but it turned out to be a

round trip.

You can't just base everything on somebody that delivers ribs with you.

Hey, Ma, but Tyrone's funny. He cracks us all up down at the rib joint.

And you know what they say. You build a better mousetrap and the world's yours.

And the world's showbiz is going to be ours because Tyrone's our mousetrap.

Boy, your trap's got a weak spring, because every time he gets up on stage,

throws up.

I got that all worked out, Thelma.

I haven't fed Tyrone all day, so tonight at the club when he gets down, you

don't have nothing to come up.

Now, J .J., Tyrone's been in that bathroom for two hours.

Is he ever going to get out?

He's taking a bubble bath.

I'm telling you, the man is going to be a very, very calm... performer tonight.

And a very, very wrinkled one tonight.

Hey, Michael, how did things go out there?

Well, JJ, I think I must have handed out at least a thousand of those Tyrone

Tyler things.

Oh, yeah, Michael?

Well, tell me something, brother.

What did the people say when you handed them the handbill?

Well, most of them said, who's Tyrone Tyler?

Oh, that's now.

But after tonight, people all over town will be mouthing the...

Bird's nest. Now, that's cute.

JJ, things like that cost a lot of money.

Honey, we can't get out of the ghetto by spending money.

Hey, mine ain't no big thing.

You know, you just make a deal here and there.

I let the man print these up for free. I let him in the club tonight for free.

You know, one hand washes the other.

Oh, so pretty.

Look at me, darling. Look at me. What do you say?

to remind me it's laundry day.

Laundry in this outfit?

Of course.

Now, how could I think that those clothes were laundry clothes?

I mean, anybody could take one look at those clothes and see they're not for

doing laundry.

That outfit is definitely for putting out the trash.

Oh, that is so cold. That is so cold.

I'm only kidding.

You look gorgeous.

Thank you. Hey, Melona, if you're not busy tonight, how would you like to go

stepping with the vice president of 4M Limited? Ow! You know,

Melona, that is a bad outfit. I just love it. Isn't it? It's a new peasant

It's not only pretty, it's practical. Now, look at these boots.

These boots, once worn to protect your feet when you walk through the cow

serve the same purpose when you go out with some of the jive dudes I know.

You know something else? That is just perfect. You wear the tie around the...

Oh, yeah, honey. Front row center. That's me. The way Tyrone's stomach acts

I wouldn't want a front row table.

Hey, Tyrone, brother.

You about all revved up and ready to go?

I think so.

Well, he's rolling now.

Ladies and gentlemen, 4M's Limited proudly presents the Atomic Comet.

Let's give it up for my man, Tyrone.

Later, Ma, later.

It looks like it cost an awful lot of money. Now, J .J., we got some talking

do. Ma, please, you're talking like an axon. J .J., how much did it cost?

$150, Ma. But don't worry.

It's the same tuxedo he's going to wear for his opening in Las Vegas.

Go, Tyrone, my man.

Good evening, folks. My name is Tyrone Tyler.

And I'm from the ghetto.

Now there's only one reason I'm from the ghetto. I wanted to be near my family.

school right here in the ghetto, but I got thrown out early. The teacher said,

if Willie has eight cents and Theotis has ten cents, what do they get?

And I said, mug.

I wanted a bicycle, but my father said I should

do what the other kids do, ride a rack to school.

Funny things happen in the ghetto.

My ma, uh, my ma, uh... Went on the Price is Right.

Went on the Price is Right.

My ma went on the Price is Right. And she had a chance to win, uh, uh... Uh,

$500.

$500.

If she guessed the price of a can of soup. And she guessed, uh...

59 cents.

59 cents.

And, uh... Uh, the right price was 39 cents,

but Ma said, I thought you was talking about ghetto prices.

Hey, look here, brother. I'm going to tighten up on the act here.

JJ, I don't feel so good.

Now that your atomic comic is having another explosion, I want to know where

everybody came from for the tuxedo and those handbills.

Hey, Ma, that's what you call in showbiz giving credit.

All Tyrone has to do is when he gets to be a big star, just tell people where he

gets his clothes from.

And just what is that on your head and how much did it cost?

This, folks, is a humbug.

The chapeau of all successful managers.

With this hat, Tyrone and us are going all the way to the top.

I'm going to raise some knots on your top if you don't give me a satisfactory

answer. Now, I want to know where all the money is coming from for Tyrone's

debutt and for all these fancy suits and hats.

You know,

see, Tyrone is one of them reds. I'm empty.

The nest here is going to be overflowing to capacity.

Maybe, J .J., maybe. Now, that's if this kid is funny.

If he's funny?

I'm telling you, this man's a laugh ride, a battle laugh.

And you know, best of all... He hasn't thrown up in two hours. What?

Best of all, he's got the wildest act in town.

You know, J .J., a lot of good talent come through the nest. I mean, Cosby,

Flip, Wilf, and Richard Pryor. Oh, nothing, nothing.

That's what it'll look like after tonight when Tyrone explodes upon the

Yeah, you know, I could own a piece of them guys, but see, I was always a

bit too afraid to take that plunge. Only once. I went all the way. My nephew, I

backed him. I spent a fortune.

Oh, yeah, was he a good comic?

He wasn't even a good nephew.

Anyway, I feel with Tyrone, CJJ, it might be a little different. Maybe I can

make a little deal. Oh, no, I'm sorry, Stanley.

Tyrone's 100 % owned by 4M Limited. J .J., maybe you better think about it.

Which one of them turkeys is J .J. Evans? Hey, J .J. Evans.

I'll see if I can find him. Hold it, chump. You picked a description.

Tall, skinny, and leaning on the ugliest side.

You guys wanted him.

This scarecrow bought $200 from the boss, and we had to collect $220.

I only borrowed $200 three days ago.

Interest. And we compound interest like...

We break your bones daily.

J .J., you borrowed from loan sharks?

We prefer to think of ourselves as a friendly service collection agency.

Yeah, if we don't get that $220 yours, you're going to get the friendly

Excuse me, Mrs. Evans.

Hey, fool.

Now, let me tell you something. You just broke up my brand new chair. That's

part of a set. Oh, I'm sorry.

Right.

Now you got a matching set.

Thanks. Would you like to have a drink?

Hi, Stan Bird.

Look, why don't you sons get out of here?

Hey, lady, it's not nice to call people thugs. Oh, you're right. Forgive me. I

meant hoods.

We're businessmen. I mean, financiers.

We're like banks, only if you don't pay the loan, we deposit you in

Lake Michigan.

Lake Michigan? If I don't drown, the pollution will kill me.

Now, just wait a minute, you guys.

Once Tyrone's a star, I'll pay you back every penny.

Yes, I will.

We can't wait that long. Wait a minute now. Wait a minute. Maybe I can help.

Good thing you came along, Stanley.

Because, you know, a half entrance in Tyrone just came open, and it only cost

$200.

$220. Okay, all right. Now, look. Now, if Tyrone is good, J .J., I'll lend you

the money. But I got to wait and see how well he does.

Now, you guys might as well wait, because if you do, you get paid, all

And if he isn't any good, we get you.

And personally, I hope the kid bombs.

We'll be right over here.

J .J., brother, I hope for your sake that Tyrone is good, because she's in

trouble.

I'm way past hoping.

I'm in the praying.

Oh, J .J., no matter how bad things got, this family never stooped to dealing

with thugs like those two.

Well, Ma, I tried the bank, told them the only collateral I had was in cattle,

but they wouldn't lend me any money on my cow hat.

Smart answers aren't going to get you anywhere. You still owe them a lot of

money.

Ma, don't worry.

about it after people see tyrone tonight we're gonna have so much money i'm

using my five dollar bills to dust off my 20s i know you're doing this for the

family but then again i hope you're not fooling yourself you saw how he was at

the apartment oh this is then i'm talking about he's working for the big

which is now i hope you're right

I hope you're good.

Thank you, Mr. Devins. I'll do my best.

All right, Tyrone. Sit down here, my man.

In a couple of minutes, you're going to be out there, and I want you to knock

them dead.

You ain't nervous, are you? Oh, I ain't nervous.

Who are those two dudes over there?

Well, they ain't drama cricks from the ladies' home journal.

Well, who are they?

Just a couple of interested bystanders.

Looks like they're interested in doing some real nasty business.

Yeah, I heard they were thrown out of the mafia for fighting dirty.

Just jiving, just jiving.

If you're just driving, then why is that turkey wearing gloves?

Well, his hands get cold, and you don't want him to chat.

All set, kid?

Never felt better, partner. Never felt better. I am talking to Tyrone.

Now, look, J .J., you and I ain't partners yet. Now, why don't you get out

and introduce Tyrone?

Gotcha. And, Tyrone, I want you to go out there, and I want you to kill the

people. And if he don't?

We will.

Great jokers, these guys.

So long, Tyrone.

Maestro, fanfare, if you please.

Very good fanfare.

They look nice on stage.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Bird's Nest is proud to present...

A dazzling new comic.

One of effervescence and rumbosity.

A man that is bound to lay more dips in your hips. More glide.

Fab, you please.

Let's put our hands together one more time and let's hear a dazzling round of

applause for the Atomic Comics. Mr. Tom...

on yourself for a few minutes.

I'll be in the back then.

I better see what's happening.

Where's my man? Where is that kid, man?

He's flat.

He may not be funny, but he does 109 flat.

My comic! My club.

Why don't you do the act?

Me? Why not? You were better than Tyron. And you don't throw up.

Me? Well, look here. We got to do something, anything.

A dog act. Two monkeys with an arm.

Me? Look, J .J., if you do a good show, I promise you, I will lend you the

money, ma 'am. Oh, J .J. You might as well, kid. You got nothing to lose. But

you're good looking.

Okay. Oh, good luck, son.

We'll be rooting for you. You break a leg.

That means good luck.

No, break both legs.

JJ, you in trouble?

You'll be lucky if it's only one leg.

Yeah, I haven't done a rib cage in weeks.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm very sorry for the delay, but we had a little problem backstage, but I want

you to know that everything has turned out to be very, very groovy.

Now, unfortunately, Tyrone Tyler has taken ill.

And taken off.

Now, the bird nest promised you a new and exciting comedian, and baby, that's

exactly what you're going to get. Let me hear a little fanfare there.

it all together for a new dynamic comedian, Mr. J .J. Evans.

Come on, give him a hand.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

My name is Tyrone, I mean, J .J. Evans,

and I'm from the ghetto.

Because I wanted to be... I wanted to be... I

wanted to be near my family.

I wanted to be near my family.

I went to school in the ghetto, but I got thrown out.

The teacher said, if Theotis had 10 cents and Willie had 8 cents, what

would you get? And I said... I said...

I said mug.

I wanted a bicycle, so I asked my father.

And my father said, why don't you be like the rest of the kids?

do nothing, nothing.

J .J.? Where's J .J.? I'll be with you in a minute, lady.

If you've harmed him in any way... Stay cool, lady. We're going to get to that,

okay? J .J.? Son?

Oh.

It's conference time.

Wait a minute. You leave him alone.

Sure, lady. For $220.

In 10 minutes, it goes up to $240.

Well, kid?

Well, I don't have the money.

I guess I'm just going to have to fight you for it. Don't you dare...

I know he wasn't very good out there, but please, can't you help us anyway?

Oh, what the hell? He was much better than my nephew.

Here, you people are going to break up this kid.

Nice move there, partner.

That's all there. Now, will both of you get the hell out of my club, please?

Everybody's paying up these days.

And the only thing I get to smash is chairs.

Thank you for loaning J .J. the money.

I'll see to it that he pays you back every penny.

Right, J .J.? Oh, right, ma.

Right. Now, I'm going to leave you two to work out the arrangements, all right?

Okay, all right. Thank you.

Well, Mr. Bird, I guess I really blew it.

Showbiz ain't for me. Oh, I wouldn't say that. I wouldn't say that at all, son.

In fact, I still think of you as being in showbiz. Hey, wow, that's great.

Because, you know, I got a lot of great ideas for the club.

Holy... policy. Line of dancing girls. I pick them out personally. Well, that's

not exactly what I had in mind, J .D. Every Tuesday night, ladies night, I'll

out in the front greeting them. Well, look, I kind of thought, partner, maybe

would be out front and you would be like behind the scenes.

Oh, backstage mastermind, huh? Even though my good looks would help out

but if that's the way you want it, so be it.

Partner, I tell you, we're going to be cleaning up in no time. Right. We're

going to start tonight mopping.

Mopping?

That's a little...

further behind the scenes than I had hoped for. Well, when I did appreciate

that. Now, Marvin pays $10 a night. Now, that means we can dissolve our little

partnership and say 22 nights.

Just looking out of the window, watching the asphalt road,

thinking how it all looks when you die.

Good times, good times, keeping your head above water, making a

way when you can.

Temporary layoffs, good times, easy credit ripoffs, good times.

Good times is videotaping. one of the studio audience.