Original subtitles

Good times! Good times! Good times! Good times! Good

times! Good times!

Good

times!

Congratulations, Thelma. So far, you've made burnt oatmeal, loose oatmeal, but

this is the first oatmeal I've ever seen that you can plaster the ceiling with.

Mom made it. Oh, as I was saying, it looks good enough to eat.

Hey, Michael, you try some of that oatmeal, and if you make it through the

then I'll try some.

Okay, I'll make you some fresh oatmeal, all right? Forget it. I'll settle for

this.

I think I'll have breakfast down at the club.

Any club with Thelma don't do the cooking.

Anyway,

being a future millionaire, I might as well join a club or two anyway.

How you plan to become a millionaire?

By selling your body to Believe It or Not?

Simple, Waffle Face.

By winning the lottery.

Oh, now that's a nice, original way to get rich.

Wouldn't want nobody else ever thought of that before.

But no, Waffle, you win the lottery. No kidding.

Oh, JJ.

You know how I feel about gambling.

It's illegal.

But that's not illegal.

The lottery is won by the state of Illinois.

That's right, Ma. And the money is used for important things like health,

education. And politicians' girlfriends.

JJ, you buy a ticket every month and you haven't won yet.

Well, it's time for my luck to change.

You know, I got one of these in every color of the rainbow.

One of these babies gots to come through.

Oh, one of these babies.

Yeah, oh, one of these babies.

What a big waste of good money. Do any of you really think you got a chance?

You all got your hopes way up, and for what?

There's one in a million that you're going to win. Now, you think there's a

fortune around every corner and a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow, but

there is no way in the world you're going to win.

Not long as I got this.

Richie and the Rockefellers. How you figure that? Take a couple extra dollars

delivering ribs.

Oh, and I have my job at the store.

And Thelma can give remedial reading lessons.

Oh, that reminds me. Enda's due here in a half an hour for a lesson.

Yes, Thelma. How's she doing? Oh, she's doing great. I only gave her one lesson,

but she still can't read. But she's beginning to know that alphabet.

Yeah, that's very important.

You must know your ABCs if you want to make some M -O -N -Y.

Maybe you should take class, too.

Hey, Michael, I was just jiving. You know, I can spell money in ten different

languages. You know, dinero, peso, rubo, like in Ruby Begonia. You know what I

mean?

Oh, hi, Edna. Come in. Hi, Thelma.

You're a little early.

Oh, Edna, I ain't got no watch.

Oh, ain't got no is a double negative. It really means you do have a watch.

Honest, Thelma, I...

When you use two negatives in one sentence, they cancel each other out.

remember that, okay?

In that case, I ain't got no million dollars.

Which means I really do have a million dollars. But every time I reach in my

pocket, I come out with lint.

So that means that somebody's ripped me off.

Come on, let's try to ignore tall and dark.

Uh, you forgot handsome.

Well, in your case, I wasn't the first.

Mrs. Evans. Hello, Edna. Have you had breakfast yet?

Yeah. Well, not really. I had a cup of coffee.

Oh, that's no breakfast. Sit down. I'll feed you some oatmeal.

Um, hold on, Ma.

Edna, a great person to sacrifice.

Have my.

Hey, Flo.

Honey, put on the television prompter.

Take it easy, Wilona. Captain Kangaroo ain't on yet.

Negro, please.

I got no time to watch television.

Today's laundry day.

Oh, well, if you're going to do the laundry, you got to go downtown and do

All our machines were ripped off yesterday.

How long does this thing take to warm up? Let me put it to you this way,

If you want to watch a Saturday night movie, you got to turn it on Thursday

night. Oh.

Malona, don't worry. I'll fix it. I got the magic touch. Then touch.

Malona, what is so important on TV?

Giving out the winning lottery numbers, honey.

Honey, am I set quick? Soon as they start... Rollins. No kidding. Well,

are those tickets yours?

They sure are. And if I don't win something, I'm going to have to

bedroom with them.

Hey, what's coming on?

Oh, well, Lona, you remember Edna. Oh, hi, Edna. How's the reading coming,

honey? Okay. Good.

7, 8, 9, 1, 2, 3.

That's red.

7, 8, 9, 1, 2, 3. Look at this, Lona. I had the 7. 8, 7, 5, 9, 8, 0.

6, 1, 0.

6, 1.

7, 6.

Hey, man, slow down.

my lucky keychain.

Oh, it's a good thing you're not superstitious.

by getting me a new pair of professional basketball sneakers.

I'll be playing pro ball in no time.

Hey, hey, hey.

Now get me some new paints and brushes and get rid of this tired old canvas in

here. Well, Ma, the world's your oyster.

Pick a perm. All right.

Oh, yeah, oh, there's this coat, a big fur coat. Oh, I just got to get it. Get

it, baby, get it. Sure.

They got these bad dresses that came in the boutiques the other day that are so

out of sight, they make Whistler's grandmother jump up and do the hustle.

use a new sofa bed.

I saw a great one in the window at Marshall Field.

Buy it, Ma, buy it. We are rich. All right.

And don't worry, you've been studying Spanish out of those tacky old Spanish

books. From now on, you ain't get the real thing. You're going to Spain. All

right!

And, Ma, you need a new winter coat. What do you like, ermine, mink, or

Well, what about all three?

I can wear the mink for the laundry, the ermine for the bus, And the sable for

putting out the gabard.

Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Listen to us.

We sound like a bunch of pigs at a trough. All this buying and spending.

Kids, your daddy and I had big dreams for you.

Thelma and Michael were going through college.

and J .J. was going to have an art career.

Now, I'm not about to give up on those dreams.

That's what that money is for.

We'll just have to make do like we always did, because that money belongs

bank.

Well, J .J., it's your money.

Well, all right.

Well?

Well?

Well, Cal, you're like we're riding...

Oh, JJ, put that thing down and stop acting silly.

The way you carry it on, anybody will think we were millionaires.

What can I say, ma? When you got it, you show it.

Well, JJ, we ain't got it, so stow it.

Mrs. Evans, here is your bike book. Oh, good.

Just sign here, please, so that we may have a copy of your signature.

All right.

Wait a minute, Ma.

Don't sign nothing.

Look here, man. You ain't showed us no whistling tea kettle, no combination hot

cone dryer, no pop -up toaster. You call yourself a bank?

We don't give premiums, but we do pride ourselves on our fiduciary

responsibility.

Yeah?

Well... If we can't get one of them pop -up toasters, lay one of them

fiduciaries on us.

J .J., what Mr. Woodruff means is that this is a very safe conservative bank.

Yes, each account is insured by the United States government.

Well, these days, who's insuring them?

J .J., I've had just about enough of you.

You've had enough of them.

I'm way beyond.

Mrs. Evans, I want to thank you for doing business with the neighborhood

hope that this is going to be the beginning of a long and lasting

Well, it sure is a beginning because we never had a savings account before.

Well, bro, thanks a lot.

By the way, do you validate parking?

JJ, we don't have a car.

In that case, you mind stamping our bus transfer?

I always gotta dry the dishes.

Because with sharing the work, I wash, you dry. Well, I think there should be a

new system around here. Like maybe one day you wash and dry the dishes, the

day Mama washes and dries the dishes, and the third day JJ washes and dries

dishes. And what about you, mister?

I can't do me and your work like that. I'm too busy making out the schedule.

I almost got some fiduciary when I was down there.

Oh, hello, Edna. I didn't know you were coming over today.

Edna, we don't have a lesson today. Oh, I know. Me and my kid sister, Rozzy,

just thought we'd come by.

Oh, that's nice.

Come on in, kids.

Come on, Thelma. I better put that away.

All right.

You made your deposit.

Now we're here for the withdrawal.

in the world do you children think you're doing?

Well, we ain't delivering Girl Scout cookies.

Look here, Mama, you just doing up and down. Shut up and sit down.

Now, just hold on there. You can't talk to my mother like... There ain't much of

you to put a hole in, but I can do it.

Lock the door, stupid.

All right.

Not you, stupid.

You, stupid.

Dummy. Don't call me dummy either.

Just because I never went to school don't mean I'm dumb.

And I can't believe you're really doing this. But you're just kids.

Well, we grow up fast around here, Mama.

Yeah, everything I know I learned from Edna, didn't I?

Listen, let's stop the yakking. We're here after the money.

We don't have the money. It's in the bank.

We know that.

That's why you and Rob... Ozzie are going to go down to that bank, and

going to bring the money here.

And just to make sure you do, men, my friend, we're going to be keeping an eye

on black pride, black beauty, and the creature from the black lagoon.

There's no way in the world I'm going to leave you here with my children.

of my children right i know close the door stupid

now everybody be cool and nobody gets hurt i don't want no tricks

it's like a nightmare i can't believe this hey man what we gonna do don't

i've been watching this chick eyeballing me every time she come over here all i

gotta do is make a couple of moves and voila

Don't worry, we're talking to the black Casanova of the project.

Hey there, sweet mama.

Anybody ever tell you you were beautiful?

Well, no.

Hey, did anybody ever tell you you were handsome?

Oh, you know. What can I say?

Playing hard to get, huh, Mama?

Look here, why don't you just relax and let Amor take over your two jobs?

Listen, you keep running that line of jive on me and you're going to be one

turkey served up before Thanksgiving.

What's taking you so long?

Why can't you just get the money?

I've got to fill out this withdrawal flip first.

Oh, yeah.

Well, you better make it out for the whole 2 -5 -0 -0, because I'm not as

as Edna makes out.

I can read numbers.

Uh -huh. See? See, this is 7 -5.

This is me, Joe Green's number, and my dress size.

That's what Edna said.

You're smart enough to read numbers.

Why don't you learn reading like Edna did?

She only did it because her probation officer made her.

Edna was smart to play along.

I don't think either one of you are so smart.

In fact, what you're doing is downright dumb.

You think we're dumb? You're the ones giving up the $2 ,500.

I give up $25 million when my children are concerned.

If you didn't have that gun, I'd give you 25 million licks upside your head.

Hold it. You're writing too much.

Those are letters.

Now, you make out a new one, and I don't want to see nothing but nothing.

Thelma, I'm scared on what can happen to Ma.

Don't worry, Ma will be all right. All right, that girl wouldn't dare try

anything with her. Hey, shut up, y 'all.

Hey, what's going on?

Anybody in there?

No.

Well, nobody, what's going on?

Nothing, Walona. Open the door.

There's no one here, Walona.

JJ, open this door.

Hey, listen, you better open the door before she gets jumpy. But y 'all better

act like nothing's wrong, because I'm going to have this covering you all the

time. And if you think of doing anything slick, you think of your life.

I can't help but think of my life.

It's flashing right in front of me.

Well, well, well, how's everybody doing?

You know, I've seen a warmer greeting given to John Wayne by the Indians.

What's going on in here? The door's all bolted and you're all sitting around

like you're in a cemetery.

She's downstairs doing the laundry.

Laundry? I already told her the machine's... Oh,

today is laundry day.

Well, I'm going home to change my shoes. I'll be right back. You ain't going no

place, fancy pants.

Don't wave that old toy in my face, girl.

Well, it's not a toy. It's a Saturday night special.

But I don't mind using it on Wednesday.

Wednesday. I'm glad you reminded me. I got to go get my license. Sit down. I'm

counting to three. Lona, she means it.

Oh, well, in that case, I'll make it in one.

What's, uh, happening?

Well, Lona, she's holding us here hostage while her sister's down at the

making mine take all the money out. Lord have mercy.

Where do you get off robbing poor people? Where do you get off robbing

Oh, poor... Hey, with this great crib, listen, you got everything.

And you with your fine threads.

Ooh, la, la, mama, look -a -here.

Expensive perfume, huh?

I ain't never had nothing like this.

And you talk to me about poor people?

I'm poor people.

Well, little girl, I got news for you.

We're all poor people. But maybe the difference is we all don't pick up a gun

and rip off our friends.

Your mother must be real proud of you, Edna.

Well, when she sobers up, I'll ask her.

Edna, it's me, Ross.

Are you kids all right? They're okay.

They're okay, Flo.

They're okay. They're all right, honey. Oh, nobody touch nobody.

Hey, where's the money?

cheat me, but I stopped her.

Come on, let's get out of here. Hey, uh, Rozzy. Huh? How do you know Edna won't

cheat you, too?

Uh -huh. What do you mean?

Well, when she was here, she said she was gonna wind up with all the money.

did. That's not so. Hey, they're lying.

No, we're not lying. That's right.

Look, you wouldn't believe these giant turkeys, would you? My kids don't lie.

I don't know, Edna. You're all the time calling me dummy. And stupid.

But I wouldn't cheat you, come on.

Rosalie, see that? She called you a dummy again.

Rosalie, that's two dummies and one stupid.

this one up. I'm sorry.

And for some fast money. You know you're going to wind up in jail again?

Well, at least I'll smell rich.

Just looking out of the window, watching the asphalt road,

thinking how it all looks when you die.

Good times, good times, keeping your head above water, making a

wave when you can.

Temporary layoffs, good times, easy credit.

Good times is videotape in front of a studio audience.