Original subtitles

Good times, anytime you need a payment. Good times, anytime you need a friend.

Good times, anytime you're up and under.

Not getting hassled, not getting hustled. Keeping your head up above

Making a way when you can.

Temporary layoffs. Good times, easy credit ripples.

Good times, scratching ass.

He's just a whole lot of women.

There are about three of them.

Hey, don't you got some nerve talking about looks?

I saw that dude who you was out with last night with the brown paper bag over

his head.

Where you find him at? The Ugly Horse Club of America?

Yeah, well, you just can't talk, buddy. You know, if you lined up all the dates

you had this year, you know what you got?

both of your dates, and I'm glad you went out with them.

After all, somebody had to.

I'm only kidding.

But listen, if you all want to eat tomorrow, you'd better help me tonight.

Now, JJ, you get out the platters, and Thelma, check on the pies.

Okay, Ma. And children, I don't want any more hassling.

Let's make this the nicest Thanksgiving your grandfather ever had.

and it's a pretty long bus ride from New Orleans, and those buses are never on

time. Hey, JJ.

Hey, Ma, call a doctor. Michael's got rabies.

Hey, JJ, where's your razor?

Michael, what are you doing with all that stuff on your face? I'm shaving. I

want to look good for when Grandpa comes.

Michael, you don't have a beard.

Hey, that's not what Eleanor Wilson... She said I gave her a cheek burn.

And just how did you give her a cheek burn? And that's the secret between me

Joe Namath.

Get out of here.

Ma, he's growing up.

I just hope Eleanor Wilson isn't.

Hey, Michael, my razor's in the medicine cabinet behind my high karate and my

clear steel.

Hey, Ma, have you figured out a place where Grandpa's going to sleep? I don't

know.

mother dear.

I got it all worked out.

Grandpa Michael will sleep out here in a sofa bed.

You and Thelma will sleep in Thelma's room and I will sleep in your room.

the one and only possible solution. No?

Plan B.

Grandpa Michael will sleep in Thelma's room.

You and Thelma will lounge out here in the luxurious splendor of the sofa bed.

And I will suffer.

and objectivity in your room.

No way.

How about we all check into a motel? How about Thelma and I will share my room,

Grandpa will have Thelma's room, and you and Michael can lounge in the splendor

of the objectivity of the sofa bed.

Hey, Ma, I just want to go out to sleep in a place where I don't have to look at

the refrigerator.

bathroom.

Oh, that must be one of them. Come on. This is it. Finally.

It's only Walona.

And the thing that changed that Negro's first diaper.

JJ, aren't you going to help her?

All right, Ma.

Okay.

Sorry, Walona.

Oh, it's just you alone.

You know, I wish you kids would make such a big fuss every time I come in.

I want everything to be just nice for James' father.

Thanks for bringing all these things over. Oh, thank nothing of it. You know,

most of my neighbors borrow you a cup of coffee.

You borrow half the house.

I'll get all these things back to you as soon as I can.

Oh, no hurry, honey.

Cooking utensils get about as much use in my apartment as a wife at a Shriners

convention. Ooh.

You want to say anything different?

No.

No, I just finished shaving. Oh, smooth, baby, smooth.

Hey, everybody, the pies are done.

Oh, Salma, they look delicious.

Oh, fantastic.

Hey, I got to split. Oh, what time is dinner tomorrow?

Well, now, wait a minute. The kids have to go to a high school football game at

noon. Let me see. I'd say around about four.

Good. And don't forget, I am making the mincemeat pie.

Oh, I thought you didn't cook.

one thing my specialty apple pie apple you said mincemeat it starts off apple

ends up mincemeat i think it's time we checked on the contenders for tomorrow's

main event in this corner weighing 18 pounds four ounces the

champion from a barn

If that dinner starts at 4, that turkey be finished by 5.

Too long, Florida.

How have you been?

Oh, we've all been fine, Henry. Just fine.

Yeah, I can see that.

Oh, Henry.

I miss him so much.

Yes, I know.

Oh, hey, kids, come on, let me look at you.

My grandchildren.

I don't know which one of you are the better looking.

I do.

Hey, Grandpa, you still working on that same ship as a cook?

Oh, no, no, not anymore, Michael.

The day I turned 65, they made me retire.

Oh, well, that's great, Henry.

Hard as you've worked, you deserve the rest.

Look, I don't need no rest.

I'm just 65.

I ain't cooked my best omelet yet.

Now, come on, Grandpa. You got to admit, you're no spring chicken.

I ain't no dead rooster.

If you just want to work, I'm sure there are lots of jobs for a good cook.

Oh, I got a job slinging hash a couple of days in New Orleans, but it ain't

cooking on a ship.

It's better.

At least this way, if you don't cook a good meal, they won't make you walk the

plank.

Well, I didn't think of that, JJ.

Did I tell you kids about the time that my ship was cut adrift and for ten days

and all I had left in the gallery was two loaves of bread and a can of

No, Grandpa, what happened?

You look at that darling man alive, that kid of the mutiny.

Now, that's a tall tale if I ever heard one.

Next. You tell us you were marooned. Yeah, yeah. Three months on a desert

island. Henry. With a big TV star.

Henry. Flipper.

Got you.

Michael, why don't you help Grandpa get settled in his room? Sure.

And Henry, don't be filling Michael's head with any more of that nonsense.

Oh, no, I won't. Oh, no.

Hey, Michael.

Yeah. Did I ever tell you about the time I had to date with that mermaid?

Mermaid?

man will never change. I sure hope not.

Wow. A date with a mermaid.

Some guys have all the luck.

I'll get it, ma.

Hi! Oh, I'm sorry I'm late, but I just had to stop off to see my sister.

Do we know you?

I'm Lena.

Lena. I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't... Well, ain't Tiger Evans

here?

Tiger?

nothing against younger men, but let's be reasonable.

Is Henry Evans here?

Oh, you mean Grandpa!

Lena!

Tell me you're looking at the only tiger on Medicaid.

Florida, Lena, I want you to meet my family. That's Florida.

Hello. That's Thelma.

That's JJ.

And that is Michael.

Oh, that's nice.

Oh,

Henry.

tell us about Lena?

I wanted to surprise you.

Well, it was the most wonderful surprise I ever had. When did y 'all get

married? Oh, we ain't married.

This stuffing recipe calls for an egg yolk, and I just put the whole egg in.

Hey, what's the big deal? Who's going to know?

I ain't going to tell, you ain't going to tell, and the turkey definitely ain't

going to tell.

I thought I told you to set the table.

But I already did, Ma.

Yeah, Ma, we set an extra place for Grandpa's girlfriend.

We are never going to eat tonight if you all don't get out of my kitchen. Now

stop bothering me.

Ma, all she said was Grandpa's girlfriend.

We should sit down and talk about it. Talk about what?

Open that oven door.

About Grandpa. Don't say that. Not once she's got the turkey in her hand.

Ma, Lena and Grandpa staying together has really gotten to you, huh?

You're darn right it has. They're not married.

Ma, they're old.

It ain't here. Where is it? All over my oven. Oh, well... Well, I made a jello

mold. I'll put it over there on the counter.

Maybe I should just throw it away before the kids eat it, huh?

I missed Henry last night. How's he doing?

A whole lot better than I'm doing.

What's going on here?

Hey, is something wrong with Henry?

Nothing that a cold shower couldn't cure.

Let's just say that, uh...

Henry didn't arrive unescorted.

Oh, Lord have mercy. Flo, Flo, you mean to tell me Henry's staying there with a

woman? Lord, let's hear it for Martin Medicine.

Hi, everybody.

Hi. Now, this is not a topic to be discussed in front of Michael.

Hey, is Grandpa up yet? Not yet, Michael. Let the man sleep, honey.

Well, Lorna...

There's nothing to joke about.

Oh, Mom, come on now. They're just traveling companions, that's all.

Now, what else could they be at that age?

Good morning, everybody.

Well, no, no.

Honey, how you doing? How you doing?

How you been? I'm fine, you? Oh, I'm just fine. I slept like a log.

Only I'm starving.

I could eat four eggs.

Hey, Mom, that's what Daddy used to say in the morning. Michael.

y 'all sleeps like a clown, and I'm so hungry I could eat four eggs.

First he wants four eggs, now she wants four eggs.

What do we got going here, chicken delight?

I let you out of my sight for one minute, and now you are hugging a pretty

woman. Well, that's better than hugging an ugly one.

Lena Anderson. Hi, Lena.

We were just saying hello.

Well, you watch out for him, Walona, because that's one old dog don't need to

learn no new tricks. Not as long as I can remember the old ones. You

know what I mean.

I know what you mean, and I think you got a

lot of nerve staying here when you... when she... when both of you are...

Shacking up.

Florida, we didn't know you were going to take it like this.

Hey, obviously you don't know, Ma. She wouldn't let us read Snow White because

the chick was living with seven dudes.

That's not true.

Please understand.

Why, Henry and I love each other very much.

Then why don't you get married?

Because we can't afford to.

She's right, Florida.

If we got married, we wouldn't have our combined social security check to live

on. I'd lose part of mine, and she'd lose even a bigger part of hers.

You mean the government penalizes senior citizens for getting married?

Yeah, but we get around it. By living together.

Well, different strokes for older folks.

I don't know what you're so mad about. What could two 60 -year -olds do in a

room together?

Well, the same as two 30 -year -olds.

Why do people think that sex ends just because a person is old?

You know, wine ain't the only thing that gets better with age. Henry

and Nina, I have children in

this house.

What kind of impression do you think you're making on them?

Personally, I'm impressed.

Nothing we haven't heard before.

Yeah, and plus, the government is making them do it. Just got to do something

about them Social Security laws.

Believe me, Henry, I understand what you're saying.

But right is right and wrong is wrong.

At least that's the way we were all brought up.

Look, Florida, you can get mighty lonesome when you are old. Now, I found

somebody I could talk to. too. Somebody that I could walk in the park with.

Somebody who cares and would share the days of the week with me. I love this

lady. And that can't be wrong.

Doesn't anybody see what I mean?

No.

That is a very difficult question, Flo. Come here.

Now, look, I know you.

Right. I know you got a point. Right. I also know Henry, and he got a point,

too. Now, listen, you know I am not the kind of person to just run out on an

important issue like this. That's right. So I'm going to say later.

You kids are going to be late for your football game.

Oh, yeah.

Let's go, Michael. Come on.

What about the little... Michael, just run along. We can take care of this by

ourselves. Right, right, right.

And listen, don't be late for dinner. Okay, Mom. Okay.

Florida, I didn't want to say this in front of the kids, but I think we'd

leave. Henry's right.

We got plenty of time to catch that evening bus to New Orleans.

But, Henry... It's the only way, Florida. Come on, dear. Let's pack.

You will stay for dinner.

No, Florida, it will just make... Everybody uncomfortable.

You will speak to the kids, right? Oh, please, please.

I didn't mean to ruin Thanksgiving for anybody.

Well, nobody meant to.

We haven't beaten Grand High in over 12 years. Then how come you beat them now?

Because they rezoned the school district, and now Grand High School is

white. Oh, no. Dirty pool.

Dirty pool.

Hey, wait a minute. Where's Grandpa Lee at?

Yeah.

They decided not to stay.

What? What?

Well, I couldn't talk them into it, honey. But maybe it's better this way.

They were going to take the 530 bus back home. But, Ma, they just got here.

Look at it this way, Michael.

It wasn't a short visit. It was a long rest stop. I'm sorry, kids, but we just

didn't see things the same way.

Now, come on, everybody. Sit down. Let's enjoy the dinner.

That's right, Flo. I like white meat, dark meat, the back and the breast. Only

two parts of this bird I will not eat.

What's that?

The beak and the butt.

Look, kids, this is Thanksgiving.

Now hear this, because I'm only going to say it once.

I want you all to sit down, sit down now, and let's have a nice, warm family

dinner.

J .J., say the blessing.

Thank you for the food we're about to receive.

And bless Nina and Grandpa.

Even though they have an hour to go before their bus leaves. Just the

And thank you for giving us this beautiful table to sit around.

Even though Lena and Grandpa are down at the bus depot eating cold sandwiches.

Come on, everybody.

Dig in.

Don't forget this.

May I be excused?

Michael, you haven't eaten anything yet. I know, Ma. I ate too much of the

football game. I'm going to walk it off. Wait a minute, Michael.

You didn't tell those children they had to eat my jello, did you?

Tell me something, Milona, about Lena and Henry.

Was I wrong or was I right?

It wasn't a matter of who was wrong or who was right. It was the way you feel.

Well, that's just what I said. How I feel.

You're right.

I think I did the proper thing.

You're right.

And it wasn't worth it. You're damn right.

I'll be right back.

Keep the stuff warm. I'll be back.

Well, just like every other Thursday night, me and a turkey.

This is the last call for Kansas City.

We gonna be on that bus for 23 hours, so I got this.

What is it? Looks like a lifesaver.

It is.

It is.

Grandpa,

I'm Lena.

Hey, what are your children doing here? Hey, Grandpa, we couldn't go without

saying goodbye to you first. Oh, Michael.

Hey, Grandpa, I hope you're not mad at Ma. No, we're not, J .J.

We gotta understand, Ma can be a little stubborn sometimes.

And sometimes she can be a darn fool.

this old bus station? Ma, we had to see Grandpa before he left.

Well, you're gonna see a lot of him.

Because I've got a big Thanksgiving dinner just waiting for us. Now,

went through all of that. Henry, Lena, it's your life. You live it, not me.

Now, your room is waiting.

And I hope you're both gonna stay with us for a while.

Oh, thank you, Florida.

Don't thank me.

Well...

you relax the rules about the room.

You know, I got a couple of chicks... Sorry, Jack.

That room is reserved for people on Social Security.

I'm so glad you decided to stay.

The bus from New Orleans is leaving in 10 minutes.

just looking out of the window watching the asphalt road

thinking how

Good times with videotape in front of a studio audience.